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Alex R., who was demonstrating in support of President Donald Trump, talking to an anti-DOGE protestor. Photo by Steven Zaitz

Words matter, as we might tell a first grader in our home or a high school student struggling to share a thought without cursing.

The same holds true for adults, especially those who disagree.

Whatever any of us might think of the policy to make English the official language of the United States, having a way to express ourselves clearly and to be heard by people on the other side of any issue is critical.

We live in a deeply divided country, where one “side” delights not only in its successes but in the failures and the struggles of the other.

This isn’t a plea for everyone to sit around chanting together or to urge us all just to get along, much as that might increase the peace and lower stress and fear.

We don’t just need English: we need a common language. We need to hear each other and to understand what the other side suggests, proposes or believes.

In a country that celebrates rugged individualism, we should be able to listen to an idea, whatever it is and wherever it comes from, and consider its merits.

It seems like spectacular hubris on the part of either side to imagine that the best policies only stem from those with whom we agree.

Take efficiency. The benefits of being more efficient in everything we do is that we can use resources better. People invested in stocks, for example, want their companies to be efficient because executives use that money to build profits.

During protests, people make competing signs that emphasize a point. Many of those messages, however, rarely acknowledge the other side or reach beyond slogans.

We need to listen to each other, to search for common ground and to make persuasive arguments that everyone can evaluate.

We need to study and learn the foreign language of those on the other side of an issue and work to adjust those words, and the ideas behind them.

Language, reflects culture and ideology and, at its root, can help us improve our lives and the lives of our children, who move together from preschool to adulthood.

Living with a verbal impasse that demonizes the other side hurts others as much as it does ourselves.

Together, our society of individuals can become more successful, efficient and peaceful if we speak the same language and build from a common foundation. Making labels and hurling insults might feel good in the moment, but it doesn’t bring out the best in us.

Words, like technology, are not necessarily good or bad. The way they are used determines their impact. Most of the people we acknowledge in the community seem friendly enough and don’t deserve belittling labels. If we start with words designed to help coalesce, we might find ways to improve our lives while feeling proud of the way we communicate in front of our children.

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Mairead Carroll designed the most efficient bridge at this year's Bridge Building Competition. Photo by Kevin Coughlin/Brookhaven National Laboratory

And the results are in! Mairead Carroll, a senior from Northport High School, captured first place at the 2025 Bridge Building Competition hosted by the U.S. Department of Energy’s (DOE) Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton on March 14.

Students from 13 Long Island high schools followed a strict set of specifications to try to construct the most efficient model bridge out of lightweight basswood and glue.

The annual event shows high schoolers what it means to be an engineer in a fun, hands-on way and is one of many activities organized by Brookhaven Lab’s Office of Workforce Development and Science Education to cultivate the next generation of science, technology, engineering, and math professionals.

“Because many students spent the whole day at the Lab as a field trip, they were able to take some time to talk to our engineers and educational staff about their career journeys, making the experience about more than just building,” said Educational Programs Administrator Michele Darienzo. “Plus, we all had so much fun!”

Commack High School students Joshua Kim, left, Vincent D’Angelo, and Jordan Gleit earned three out of the four top spots awarded at the competition. Photo by Kevin Coughlin/Brookhaven National Laboratory

Carroll and second-place winner Vincent D’Angelo, a junior from Commack High School, qualify to bring their designs to the International Bridge Building Contest in Chicago, Illinois on April 26.

“Participating in the Brookhaven National Lab Bridge Competition was an incredible experience, and I’m so thankful for the opportunity to be part of it,” Carroll said. 

“It was a great chance to learn and grow as an aspiring civil engineer, and I’ve gained so much from the talented competitors I had the chance to meet. I’m excited to continue this journey and look forward to representing Northport at the International Bridge competition in Chicago,” she added.

Students and judges watched closely as Brookhaven Lab staff and volunteers tested 95 bridges under a crushing machine that slowly added more and more weight from above until the bridges broke or bent more than one inch. Bridges were ranked based on efficiency scores that are calculated from the load the bridge supports divided by the mass of the bridge — all in grams. The structures could not have a mass greater than 25 grams.

D’Angelo, who visited the Lab with classmates on competition day, said he focused on simplicity and keeping his bridge light. His fellow Commack High School students swept the contest’s remaining awards: junior Joshua Kim earned third place with a bridge that used trusses to maximize efficiency, and junior Jordan Gleit won an aesthetic award for bridge design thanks to a structure with lots of cross beams.

While bridge testing was underway, students toured the National Synchrotron Light Source II and Center for Functional Nanomaterials, two DOE Office of Science user facilities at Brookhaven with unique capabilities that draw scientists from all over the world to Long Island. Students met staff scientists and engineers and learned about the paths that led them to careers at BNL. 

Competitors further tested their engineering skills during an activity that challenged them to craft five increasingly difficult structures out of Geomag magnetic toys and earned Brookhaven Lab goodies if they were successful. Competition organizers also quizzed students with Brookhaven Lab and science trivia for chances to win more prizes.

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Brian Crowe and Leilani Garcia on their trip. Photo courtesy Leilani Garcia

By Sabrina Artusa

Leilani Garcia and Brian Crowe learned a lot over their five-day, 80-mile hike from Robert Moses State Park in Babylon to the Montauk Lighthouse. They learned that short breaks every hour help them tackle their long 20-plus-mile days and how to adjust their 50-lb backpacks, crammed with food and fresh water, to better disperse the weight. They learned where the best beach camp spots are and how to follow the tides. Over the course of five days, they endured wind and rain, high tides and high mileage not just to reach their destination, Montauk, but to raise awareness for colon cancer. 

Crowe, a Huntington native, was diagnosed with colon cancer two years ago in its late stages. Experiencing intense pain in his side, he went to see his gastroenterologist for the first time. A CAT scan revealed a tumor in his large intestine. The severity of the growth, which grew from seven centimeters to nine over the course of a week, was removed with the assistance of Crowe’s friend and surgeon Joesph Vazzana in in a 12-hour life-saving surgery. The 9-month recovery was “exasperating” for Crowe, who said he couldn’t walk or eat immediately after the operation.

“I was miserable,” Crowe said. “But he saved my life.” 

Throughout their hike, Crowe and Garcia spread their mission and succeeded in reminding people of the importance of getting a colonoscopy. 

Crowe said that cancer often goes untalked about. After getting it himself, he said he felt there was an “embarrassing” stigma surrounding the disease. “I didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t want anyone else to talk about it,” he said. 

After finding out he had colon cancer, he discovered that several family members have also had cancer, including three of his aunts.  Now, he realizes that as a survivor, he has an “obligation” to talk about his experience and hopefully encourage others to routinely get a colonoscopy. 

“Reaching out to the community can save lives,” said Garcia, who has had family members affected by cancer.

Garcia and Crowe met at Decker’s Nursery and Florist, where Garcia, tired of her conventional Christmas tree, was perusing other indoor plants to decorate. There she met Crowe, who worked there and suggested the spiky Japanese orange bush Garcia ended up buying. 

When Crowe told Garcia about his longtime aspiration of traveling from Robert Moses to Montauk, Garcia took to the idea and helped bring it to fruition, creating a website to broadcast their mission. 

The trip

While the trip is dedicated toward raising awareness for colon cancer, Garcia and Crowe also went with the mission of reconnecting with nature and themselves.

The pair started their day at sunrise and usually walked until sundown, clocking as many miles as they could while also taking in “how unbelievable Long Island is.” Garcia and Crowe started their mornings by setting their intentions for the day. 

Fueled by Kind bars, dark chocolate and peanut butter, they traversed the coast, sometimes stopping to pick up interesting scallop shells, admire the view or talk to curious beachgoers. 

One man asked them what they were doing. When they told him about their “Mission to Montauk,” he immediately returned to his home, remembering to schedule his own colonoscopy. “It’s like holding the door for someone else,” Crowe said. 

When one of them got tired or discouraged, the other made sure to offer encouragement. Garcia mentioned how during a difficult portion of the hike, where she just wanted to stop and pitch the tent, Crowe encouraged her to sing, something he knows she loves to do. “We were kind of joyful in that chaos,” Garcia said, adding that both she and Crowe, who is also a music producer, have a deep appreciation for music. 

The wind was a challenge, and often required them to cover their faces. “We kind of opened up our minds a little bit going into the sand storm. Respect it, appreciate it, and see what goodness comes out of it.” 

Despite the challenges, Crowe and Garcia look at the experience with appreciation. “I felt so grounded and connected,” Garcia said.” It was meditative. . .it’s just like life. There are some challenges but with each challenge you become stronger [and] resilient.”

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File photo by Raymond Janis

 EPA and media need accountability

Based on a March, New York Times article, Daniel Dunaief expressed concerns the EPA “is exploring the possibility” of laying off over 1,000 scientists.  He urged EPA director, Lee Zeldin (R) to be selective before making any cuts. 

Even before Zeldin was sworn in, Biden EPA adviser, Brent Efron, was caught proudly announcing the agency was spending billions of taxpayer dollars before the Trump administration could stop them.  

“Get the money out as fast as possible before they come in….it’s like we’re on the Titanic and….throwing gold bars off the edge.”

Where’d the dough go?

“Nonprofits, states, tribes. We gave them the money because it was harder, if it was a government-run program, they could take the money away, if Trump won.”

Apparently, nongovernmental organizations  are a great place to stash gold bars because they avoid typical Fed spending “accountability.” So, they can act as weblike pass-throughs to other, politically favored outfits, while making it difficult to track how much money is actually going to “scientists.” 

EPA administrator Zeldin found $20 billion from the Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fund, nestled in CitiBank, awaiting distribution. 

It was “awarded to just eight entities, that were then responsible for doling out your money to NGOs and others at their discretion, with far less transparency,” Zeldin explained.

He continued, “Of the eight pass-through entities…. various recipients have shown very little qualification to handle a single dollar, let alone several billions of dollars.”

Here’s just one example of the above-mentioned “web.”  Power Forward Communities Inc. got $2 billion, despite being set up in 2023 and showing only $100 in revenue for that entire year.  That outfit partnered with Rewiring America, where two-time Georgia gubernatorial loser Stacey Abrams (D) works as “corporate counsel.”  

As for the New York Times reporting on Zeldin’s EPA, let’s consider the source.  The “Gray Lady” cited House Democrats. Recall, the New York Times joined other major media outlets in losing tons of credibility by selectively censoring some stories (including those on COVID), while parroting Dem pols’ deceitful talking points on major, critical issues.  The most dangerous of which was assuring us that President Joe Biden (D) was cognitively capable of acting as commander in chief and leader of the free world.

We are a people burdened with $36 trillion dollars in debt, and a lack of faith in what is being reported as “news.” So the public needs to demand accountability from both the EPA and media.  Then use common sense and a critical eye to make honest judgments.  

Jim Soviero

East Setauket

Conscience Bay Society of Friends hope county officials protect everyone in spirit of the Constitution

Conscience Bay Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) was established in St. James in 1961. Most of us live in western Suffolk County and have deep ties to the area. On March 9, we met in a meeting for worship with attention to business and considered the circumstances currently faced by immigrants and refugees in our country. After prayerful consideration, we approved the following minute:

Conscience Bay Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends is united in the centuries-old Quaker convictions that every person has that of God/Spirit within them, that all are equal in dignity and worth, that all are deserving of compassion and fair treatment. With this understanding of how we can live together in peace, we have a deep concern for the well-being and rights of all. Therefore, we issue this public call for support and protection, without regard to their immigration status, of all immigrants and refugees in our extended community of Suffolk County, New York. We call upon our county officials to advocate and create policies that protect all individuals from unwarranted arrest, detention or deportation.

We ask that our county police remain in compliance with their central mandate to “Serve and Protect.” In fulfilling that vital and honorable role, there is no justification for our county or local police departments to act as surrogates for federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) or associated agencies. We commend the ongoing efforts by individuals, organizations and local governments to provide essential services, advocacy and safety for immigrants and refugees.

It is our hope that you will do all that you can to protect the rights of everyone within your jurisdiction and that you will fulfill the duty of every elected official to live up to the letter and spirit of the Constitution of the United States.

Thank you for your attention.

Sincerely,

Carolyn Emerson

Clerk, Conscience Bay Meeting

Disappointing Town Hall

I am in agreement with the March 20 letters of Donna Newman and Robert Marcus regarding the disappointing so-called “Town Hall” meeting by Congressman Nick LaLota [(R—NY1)]. I specifically want to add that LaLota’s claims of asking constituents their opinions was self-serving. To ask whether or not we supported government waste was silly. Everyone objects to waste; but the real question is how much waste is there and is destruction of government agencies an acceptable way to deal with it. LaLota’s questions were only designed to reinforce his own views or rather the views of [President Donald] Trump [(R)], whom he supports in every way.

Respectfully,

Adam Fisher

Port Jefferson Station

Thank you to Three Village Community Trust

I want to thank the Three Village Community Trust and Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich (D-Stony Brook) for their recent recognition of the Setauket Neighborhood House as an important community asset and its continuing commitment to provide a warm and friendly meeting and gathering place for the community.

In 1918, local philanthropists Eversley and Minnie Childs gave the Setauket Neighborhood House to the residents of the Stony Brook and Setauket communities as a needed meeting place. For more than 100 years, the Setauket Neighborhood House and its board of dedicated trustees have provided a unique and treasured asset that has been a place for hosting community and family events in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere.

Thanks to all for recognizing my service as its manager and the importance of the Setauket Neighborhood House as a recognized Three Village community asset.

Maria Nardiello

Manager

Setauket Neighborhood House

Open letter to Congressman Nick LaLota

Prologue: I originally wrote the following letter a week ago. So much has negatively changed in what is happening with Social Security that I found it necessary to add this prologue. Offices have been closed. There is no one to answer the phones or you may have to wait 30 minutes to talk to someone. The Social Security website crashed two or three times last week. If there is an open office near you, the wait time standing in a line can be 4 or 5 hours.

Congressman LaLota (R-NY1), is this what you were elected to support? Do you support all these changes? Do you have anyone in your life that may have to deal with Social Security? I hope you help them.

But now how does someone in your district who may need help get in touch with you?

In the last few weeks it has been reported that the Department of Government Efficiency is now closing some Social Security offices and that phone access will no longer be available. One can only get in touch with the Social Security office online or in person. So, if you are new to Social Security or need to make any changes, you will either have to do it online or go in to an office, if there is one near you.

Congressman LaLota, since you have not objected to any of these cuts, I have to think that you support them. Therefore, anyone who needs help making any change to their Social Security should get in touch with you for help. Perhaps you have not realized that many of the people in your district are senior citizens, many of whom need their Social Security checks to make it through the month. Many of them do not have computers, and, if they do, they do not know how to do many things on the computer. Many of them no longer drive nor do they have someone who can take them to a Social Security office.

I have to ask if you have tried to find out how people in your district feel about all these changes. People who voted for you expected that you were going to make their lives easier, not harder, and by supporting these changes, everyone’s life is a lot harder.

So, Congressman LaLota, how are you going to help these people in your district?

Ernestine Franco

Sound Beach

BESS  estimates

In his letter of March 27 George Altemose makes a valid point that solar power on Long Island is too variable to be able to provide 100% of our needs so backup power of some kind is needed. However, his analysis of the number of homes that could be serviced by a 8.75 MW solar facility coupled to a battery facility (battery  energy storage system) contrasts with my personal experience. 

Using the time period that includes his use of August  2024 (I am billed on a two-month cycle) my two-month total usage was 1,123 kwh or an average of 780 watts contrasted to his home average use of 2,747 watts (both include use of air conditioning).  He makes a questionable assumption that the power requirement would double from the average when air conditioning is turned on for 4 hours and used that condition, not the average use, as a basis for need.  If our home use was typical, the number of homes that could be covered by BESS is larger than their calculation, not smaller.

Of course, there are many factors that will impact use of power, but one very noticeable change we noticed was the drop in energy usage with our conversion to heat pump air conditioning, which is much more efficient and quieter than other forms and can also provide heat when needed. 

Peter Bond

Stony Brook

Fact checking: ‘Reconfiguration is the right decision for 3V schools,’ appeared on March 20th

To my knowledge, not a single member of the Three Village community petitioned for grade restructuring. Restructuring is an administration-driven initiative that was pushed forward through the ‘Strategic Plan Committee’ meetings. Because many parents became concerned that this plan would make start times even worse than the current dismal state, it was primarily these parents who turned up and closely followed the restructuring meetings. Their main concern was that the restructuring, as initially planned, would have moved the 9th grade students to a 7:05am start time from the current 7:40 start time. This is obviously the exact opposite of what most parents wanted.

 As of my writing, the proposed budget simply maintains the status quo for the 9th grade student start times. This is appropriate, given that these students are the ones most affected by the restructuring at the secondary level. It is also in alignment with 15 years of recommendations from the community and relevant committees.

The request for later start times is not a new-found concern but a long-standing one rooted in over 30 years of research and backed by leading U.S. medical organizations. Locally, a 2019 petition urging the Three Village school Board and administration to adopt healthier start times obtained 1,700 signatures within days, a remarkable response. Dismissing this long-held goal as a “sudden desire” or “utterly useless” disregards medical evidence and years of parent advocacy.

The claim that teenagers will “fall asleep from boredom” if devices are removed is counterfactual for the many parents who have witnessed their children struggle to meet developmental sleep requirements, despite implementing good sleep hygiene habits. 

Barbara Rosati,

Dept. of Physiology

Stony Brook University

To the Board of Education and Administration of the Three Village Central School District

As we near school budget season, and the conversations increase in intensity and severity regarding where our money is allotted for the 2025-2026 school year, here are the top nominees for talking points in Three Village.

1. The upcoming reconfiguration

This is a change, decades in the making, that is being made through due diligence and circumspection for what is best for all Three Village students.  Those who continue to dissent and rail against this 21st century change choose to remain ignorant to the negative effects our current model spews on our student population and the positive monetary savings the district will reap.  The opportunities that will be offered to our sixth and ninth graders outweigh any and all possible repercussions that may befall them.  Imagine a world full of clubs and classes that they would not receive in their current placement and try to ignore the rantings of those who chose to deny the simple fact that our beloved Three Village needs a facelift. Moving on.

2. Start times

Stop the madness!  No matter what the supposed science says, a 30-minute change to our start times is an utter waste of over $1million and will not make one bit of difference.  If parents are so concerned with their children’s sleep habits, perhaps they should take the devices out of their little darling’s hands and tell them to go to bed.  I, and MANY others, are not willing to see class sizes rise and programs disappear so that kids can have an extra 30 minutes on their phones instead of in the classroom.  Think about the detriments there before we spend a million dollars of the budget to cover transportation costs rather than having educators in classes.  Are we willing to see the possible failure of the budget for this nonsense?

3. Security

Earlier this school year three Village had a fright.  A gun got into our high school and the situation was handled smoothly and transparently. However the resounding outcry that followed was even more disturbing.  Now we have a call to arm our security guards, despite the fact that extensive research has shown that armed guards have actually induced more violence in schools.  I am staunchly against allowing anyone to carry a firearm either in or around our schools as I do not believe, under any circumstances, that this will assist in dissuading someone who wants to commit a violent act on school property.  I appreciate the comprehensive work that has been done by Mr. Blaum and his team and I trust that the system they are currently implementing will keep our children safe while in school. Regardless of any former law enforcement experience, school security guards do not need to be armed, particularly if response times to tense situations are not improved.

4. Incidents of hate

Thank you, Dr. Scanlon for acknowledging that Three Village has a problem, although it is extremely disconcerting to know that it has gotten this far.  In our district we have had several antisemitic occurrences. We are very lucky that none of them have involved violence.  I sincerely hope that the administration and the board are working together to create a plan that will address all of the issues that are on the increase, particularly in the current environment that exists throughout our country.  When teaching kindness and compassion, as well as common courtesy and respect, there is no amount too high if it erases the feelings of hatred toward any fellow students.

Let’s get it together three Village and regain our standing in our awesome 2025-2026 middle school model.  We have so much to look forward to!

Stefanie Werner

East Setauket

I am ready to work for you as your trustee

I’m excited to share that I’m running for reelection for Port Jefferson village trustee. Over 24 years ago, Kelly and I made the decision to raise our family here in Port Jefferson, and it has truly been the perfect place to call home. Our children, Victoria and Stephen, have grown up here, and we’ve watched this village become an even more wonderful community with every passing year.

It has been a true honor to serve as your trustee for the past two years, and as deputy mayor for the past year. During this time, I’ve had the privilege of working with so many dedicated and talented people – from the team at Village Hall to volunteers who serve on committees like the Conservancy, Parks & Recreation, Tree Committee, Conservation Advisory Council and the Committee for Coastal Erosion. What I’ve come to appreciate is how much stronger we are when we work together to improve our village. I’ve always strived to listen, learn, and ensure that everyone’s voice is heard.

With over 30 years in municipal government, including 18 years as the village clerk/administrator here in Port Jefferson, I’ve gained experience working alongside a wonderful staff, 10 mayors and many trustees. Through countless meetings, challenges and successes, I’ve learned what it takes to help a village prosper, and I’m committed to using that knowledge to make Port Jefferson even better.

There are still important opportunities ahead that we must address, like the stabilization of the bluff at the Port Jefferson Country Club, the future of the Power Plant and managing the growth of apartments. These issues require thoughtful leadership, and I believe my experience, ability to collaborate and passion for our community make me well-suited to help guide Port Jefferson forward.

Two years ago, I promised that I would always be available to listen to your concerns and ideas. I’ve kept that promise with my “Saturday Sit-Down” sessions, where I meet informally with residents to chat about village matters. My personal cell phone number is on my business cards and in my emails, and I encourage you to reach out to me. I’m here to listen, help, and be part of the solutions that make our village the best it can be.

I hope I can count on your support on June 17. Together, we’ll continue to make Port Jefferson the wonderful community that we all cherish.

Bob Juliano

Port Jefferson

WRITE TO US … AND KEEP IT LOCAL We welcome your letters, especially those responding to our local coverage, replying to other letter writers’ comments and speaking mainly to local themes. Letters should be no longer than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style, good taste and uncivil language. They will also be published on our website. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include an address and phone number for confirmation. Email letters to: [email protected] or mail them to TBR News Media, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733

 

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By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

While a little bit of stress in one’s life can be a good thing, enabling high performance, for the most part, stress is a negative I try to reduce for myself as I get older. It took me many years before I even realized what stress was. It didn’t occur to me to think I was stressed the night before a big test or having to give a talk at the front of the class in junior high school. I just knew I first had to spend a long time in the bathroom. 

No one I knew then, teachers, students, or my parents, even used the word “stress.” Today it is frequently discussed, along with how to manage it. Schools of techniques have been developed concerning stress management, such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.

What exactly is stress?

Stress is defined by the World Health Organization as “a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experiences stress to some degree. The way we respond to stress, however, makes a big difference to our overall well being.”

Here is what I have found to be stressors in my life and what I have done to mitigate them.

One of the most obvious and perhaps the simplest to reduce is time pressure. Being late in my early years—for an appointment or with a delivery of a product or service —might have set me up, I am sure, for a possible ulcer later in life. While sometimes being late cannot be helped, we are lucky enough to live in an age where we can reach out and tell the person who is waiting for us that we are running behind, and when they can expect to see us. That takes away a great deal of stress. Three cheers for cell phones.

I used to be chronically late until I realized what a disservice that was for the person I was meeting, and also to myself, by adding so much pressure to what should be a matter of fact occurrence. Now, I take pleasure in being early, creating a situation in which I can settle in comfortably, study the menu if it is a restaurant, or get rid of some of my emails while I wait. 

Also, I hate to disappoint. As a result, I have learned not to promise or commit until I am absolutely sure I can deliver on my word. And if there is a delay in getting a job done, the sooner I tell the recipient of difficulties, the easier it is to deal positively with expectations.

That goes for declarations. For example, if I insist I will never do such-and-such, and then I wind up having to break my word, it pains everyone. Better just to do without, again, setting up false expectations. 

Then there are the situations where, if I cannot change what is happening, I can change the way I think about the event. 

Example: having a driver abruptly cut me off as I m driving. That could be a stressful moment, but I prefer to consider that the driver might be in some dire need to get somewhere. 

Or, if someone begins to yell at me for some perceived slight, or something we have written in the newspaper, I have to think that person might be having problems at home or some health issue. Which is not to say, I don’t sweep my conscience to determine if I am to blame. Sometimes I am at fault, although I would like to think of myself as Mary Poppins, “practically perfect in every way.” 

Kidding! 

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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Even for a family that often lives in fifth gear, this weekend is especially frenetic.

First, on Saturday, we’re going to the wedding for a member of my wife’s extended family. We’ve been looking forward to this for more than a year.

Over 25 years ago, the bride attended our wedding in a white dress that, thanks to my mother in law, matched the one my wife wore. It’s so easy to recall her doe-eyed face when she and her younger brother set a speed record as they raced down the aisle.

We had asked the children on both sides to participate, which they did to the delight of our friends and family.

I’m sure memories of the bride and groom will play through many people’s minds during the wedding. As I sit with my wife, son and daughter, I will likely picture the four-year-old version of the bride, whom I used to throw as high and far as I could from the shallow end into the deep end in my father-in-law’s warm pool.

I’ll hold hands with my wife as we share in the excitement of this ceremony, which marks the beginning of their married life and is an extension of a high school friendship that has turned into something much deeper.

After the ceremony, we will reconnect with extended family, finding out recent details of their lives. We will hug and kiss the amazing grandmother, who has provided unconditional family support since the moment I met her close to 30 years ago.

Our niece will also be a major attraction, as she is the seven-months pregnant matron of honor and is the first member of the next generation on either side of our family who is expecting a child.

And then, ahhh, the dancing! My family will be on the dance floor as long as possible, throwing ourselves around as if we were in some kind of Zumba, aerobics, bodies-in-motion session. 

My shirt will become a much darker color as I sweat through it, and our daughter will somehow know the words to just about every song the band plays.

As the party winds towards its conclusion, we will continue moving and cheering, looking to squeeze every last drop out of this wedding.

The next day, we’ll amble out to a Sunday breakfast and recount some of the excitement from the night before.

But, wait, then there’s part two. We’ll head over to CitiField, where we’ll see my side of the family for a Mets game and, more importantly, celebrate a momentous birthday for our nephew.

We’ll share the excitement of this big birthday as we all become die hard Mets fans for the day, even as we also may share a few memories.

Indeed, when the birthday boy’s brother was born, my girlfriend (now my wife) and I drove to Baltimore. She left earlier than I. My then three-year-old nephew joined us as I walked her to her car.

“Bye, love you,” I said to my wife, kissing her through the rolled down window.

“Bye, love you,” our nephew echoed, standing on his tip toes as he offered an irresistible grin.

We’ll likely compare baseball stories and anecdotes about my nephew who has been married for over a year.

I may even tell the story about a memorable phone call.

His father, who wasn’t a morning person, called me early one Sunday. He asked me about my weekend and my plans for the week. Stupidly, I answered all his questions without thinking of the context for his life.

“Great,” he said, sounding both tired and excited. “Well, guess what?”

I shrugged while he paused either for effect or to take a quick rest.

“You’re an uncle,” he declared.

I jumped out of bed and couldn’t possibly get dressed quickly enough to meet someone I’m as eager to see today and any other day as the day he was born.

While we might wistfully recount such stories, we will also have the incredible gift of family time.Amid all the other times that come and go, we will have a full weekend where we won’t focus on whatever worries us about the world. We will share the joy of staying present, reveling in these magical moments that matter.

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Vehicles up for auction on April 5. Photo from SCPD Facebook
Vehicles up for auction on April 5. Photo from SCPD Facebook
Vehicles up for auction on April 5. Photo from SCPD Facebook
Vehicles up for auction on April 5. Photo from SCPD Facebook
Vehicles up for auction on April 5. Photo from SCPD Facebook

In the market for a new car? The Suffolk County Police Department Impound Section will hold an auction on Saturday, April 5 at the department’s impound facility, located at 100 Old Country Road in Westhampton. 

The auction will begin at 9 a.m. and will be held rain or shine. There will be a preview of vehicles on Thursday, April 3 and Friday, April 4 between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. at the impound yard. Vehicles will also be available for preview for one hour prior to the start of the auction on April 5.

Approximately 100 vehicles will be auctioned off including sedans, pick-up trucks, vans and SUVs. All vehicles will start with a minimum bid of $500 and are sold as-is.

For a full list of vehicles, registration information and terms and conditions for the auction, visit www.suffolkpd.org and click on Impound Section and Vehicle Auctions or click here.

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Shark Tank Showdown on April 1. Photo courtesy of The People's Arc of Suffolk
Shark Tank Showdown on April 1. Photo courtesy of The People's Arc of Suffolk
Shark Tank Showdown on April 1. Photo courtesy of The People's Arc of Suffolk
Shark Tank Showdown on April 1. Photo courtesy of The People's Arc of Suffolk
Shark Tank Showdown on April 1. Photo courtesy of The People's Arc of Suffolk

People’s Arc of Suffolk and Rise Life Services co-hosted an April Fool’s Day “Shark Tank Showdown” fundraiser on April 1 with six of its fundraisers taking a dive into the shark tank at the Long Island Aquarium in Riverhead to raise funds for the two non-profit agencies. The event raised more than $60,000 for the two organizations.

The event was emceed by News 12 Long Island anchor Jenn Seelig and meteorologist Alex Calamia.

“People may have thought this was an April Fool’s Prank, but it’s no joke. People are going in,” said John McGuigan, CEO of People’s Arc of Suffolk. “We have 250 people that have come together to raise critical funds to support people with disabilities on Long Island and we’re so grateful.”

Divers suited up and entered a shark cage in pairs and were lowered into in the giant shark tank at the aquarium, accompanied by a dive master. Each duo spent about five minutes underwater, coming up close and personal with the sharks and other fish in the massive tank.

The dives were broadcast onto large screens throughout the aquarium for dinner-goers to watch.

People’s Arc, which provides services for intellectually and developmentally disabled Long Islanders, invited the 12 people who are fundraising for the event to create social media videos that were shot entirely by People’s Arc TV program participants. They operated the cameras, asked the questions and will edit the video for posting online.

The “Shark Tank Showdown” is a unique fundraising event where two individuals who raise the most and least funds will enter the 120,000-gallon shark tank at the Riverhead Aquarium for a face-to-face swim with sand tiger and nurse sharks, and a variety of exotic fish. This thrilling experience aims to raise awareness and support for programs benefiting children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

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Suffolk County residents can call 311 to report an antisemitic incident. File photo from Steve Bellone’s Flickr page

The Three Village Central School District was the subject of much conjecture and anxious speculation last week after Superintendent Kevin Scanlon released a letter addressing incidents of antisemitism and hate speech at their schools. 

Addressing the problem means admitting there is one: something many would be hesitant to do; Scanlon and other administrators took a bold step, opening themselves up to criticism, in making a move towards change. 

In the letter, Scanlon states that current initiatives aren’t enough to abate hate speech and that more needs to be done to educate both students and employees. “It is evident that the numerous resources, programs and educational opportunities that the district currently provides are not enough,” the letter reads. 

The letter is upsetting as students are still being excluded, bullied or harassed in a place they should feel completely at ease and comfortable and where their identity doesn’t cause conflict or discomfort. 

It is comforting to know the district is tackling these problems aggressively and in spite of potentially opening itself up to “bad publicity.” The Anti-Defamation League records a 200% increase of antisemetic acts from 2023 to 2024—over 10,000 in one year.

Bullying is ubiquitous–a weed within every school– but education and thoughtful programing and training, initiatives Scanlon is suggesting, may be able to help. The rising antisemitism, however, is not normal. A 200% increase is completely unacceptable. In schools, it is possible that these children don’t know what they are saying is hurtful–maybe they are trying to be irreverent and rebellious. Hopefully, the Three Village School District is on track to eradicate hate from its schools–to educate and change the narrative around other religions and to promote curiosity and acceptance rather than blind rejection and alienation. After all, hatred often comes from ignorance and a lack of empathy. It’s hard to hate or bully someone you know, understand and respect. 

Rabbi Aaron Benson from the North Shore Jewish Center in Port Jefferson Station said he tries not to dwell on these acts of antisemitism. “I want the experience of the members of the congregation to be about the positive and joyful and meaningful aspects of Judaism,” Benson said, “and not about the people who say negative and cruel things.”

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METRO photo

By Frank Artusa

This month New Yorkers were blanketed with scam text messages requesting payment of unpaid tolls. Another growing text based scam involves receiving messages from “wrong numbers” where the scammer attempts to then engage in casual conversation in order to befriend the victim and steal information. Perpetrators are utilizing increasingly sophisticated techniques and deceptive practices like these to trick people into providing access to their most valuable data. 

In recent years phishing, smishing, and vishing have become three of the most common attack vectors, among a dizzying array of others for compromising personal identifiers, valuable data, mobile phones, and computers. In 2024, the Federal Trade Commission reported $12.5 billion in fraud related losses suffered by the American public with identity theft and imposter scams comprising two of the top three categories.

Phishing is a scam where an attacker sends an electronic communication, usually an email, attempting to obtain access to financial accounts or other protected data, typically by getting a victim to click a link or enter personal information into a fake website. Other variations on this technique include vishing, typically done utilizing a voice call and smishing, a deception attempt via a text message. These are just a few of the common types of attacks, among many others, and it’s becoming quite a challenge to discern truth from deception.

In the realm of enterprise level cybersecurity, a best practice for keeping attackers out of networks is to adopt a “default deny” approach, that is, to block all access to business systems unless explicitly permitted via an allow list. Following this perspective to protect personal devices and accounts can also be beneficial to stopping bad guys by denying all attempts of communication from unknown numbers and email addresses.

When an email is received from an entity purporting to be a financial institution requesting personal information, never respond. Deny this solicitation by default and call the institution directly to verify the request. With text messages from an unknown number, stop the smishing attempt by not responding and immediately deleting the message, or call the sender directly to verify the legitimacy of their request. Individuals should never click on any links.

Vishing scams, which historically have been based on simple phone calls from people attempting to persuade victims to reveal valuable information, have now unfortunately evolved into attackers scouring social media accounts for the names of family members and even obtaining samples of their voices through pretext phone calls, then tailoring a targeted scam with an artificial “deepfake” call from the alleged family member. Again, in this case protection is achieved by denying the scammer from the outset and calling that family member or friend directly to verify.

Retirees are particularly vulnerable because they are less likely to be aware of the evolving cyber criminal landscape through work based training programs and are more accustomed to trusting historically dependable methods of communication like basic voice phone calls. The sad truth is that a high level of skepticism of all communications is necessary to combat these threats and protect important financial and personal data in both personal and professional environments. If any type of communication or correspondence is unusual, opt for a default deny approach.

Individuals who are victimized should contact the impacted financial institution to report and prevent further monetary damage. Concerns relative to stolen identity can be addressed by following the steps listed at www.identitytheft.gov. Unfortunately, cyber criminal investigations can be quite challenging due to the international nexus of most incidents; however, reports should be made to your local police department as well as to the Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov.

Frank Artusa is a current cybersecurity professional and retired FBI Special Agent.

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