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Village of Port Jefferson Deputy Mayor Rebecca Kassay is a declared candidate for New York State’s 4th Assembly District. Photo by Jen Romonoyske, courtesy Rebecca Kassay

Just over a week after Election Day, the 2024 election season is already underway.

Village of Port Jefferson Deputy Mayor Rebecca Kassay has exclusively announced her campaign for New York State’s 4th Assembly District. She is running as a Democrat.

The 4th District seat is currently held by New York State Assemblyman Ed Flood (R-Port Jefferson), who unseated former Assemblyman — and Suffolk County Legislator-elect — Steve Englebright (D-Setauket) in 2022, who had occupied the seat since 1992.

Kassay entered the Village of Port Jefferson Board of Trustees in 2020 and was appointed deputy mayor earlier this year. During her tenure in village government, she has served as trustee liaison to the Building Department and Planning Board; the Conservation Advisory, Six-Acre Park and Tree committees; and was appointed the village’s inaugural sustainability commissioner.

Before entering public life, she worked as a youth environmental volunteer program director at Avalon Park and Preserve in Stony Brook. She is also a small business owner, operating The Fox and Owl Inn bed-and-breakfast on Main Street in Port Jefferson with her husband Andrew Thomas since 2014.

Kassay outlined the motivations guiding her campaign.

“I’m running for the New York State Assembly because we need leaders who understand that governance which truly reflects the voices, needs and concerns of their constituents starts with listening,” Kassay said in a statement. “In the village government, there are no national political party affiliations. I am practiced in working with anybody who is interested in pursuing commonsense, balanced solutions to ongoing challenges.”

Kassay described several quality-of-life concerns as “screaming for representation” in Albany, such as housing scarcity and the unaffordable standard of living in District 4. She said the state government must help create housing opportunities while conforming to the existing suburban character of local communities.

“I know that one-size-fits-all plans and mandates have tried to come down from the state, and while they try to address problems, they’re not suitable for the variety of unique communities within our area,” she said in an interview. “We need to find ways that we can support the creation of more housing opportunities for the middle class while preserving that suburban lifestyle.”

The Port Jeff deputy mayor identified various environmental challenges facing the 4th District, offering to leverage her environmental advocacy background toward climate-resilient policies.

“I really look at climate resilience as something that’s part of almost every dynamic conversation that government is having at this point,” she indicated.

Kassay referred to health care as another policy concern, citing soaring health care expenses as a barrier to entrepreneurship and economic development. “A lot of folks here who might set out as entrepreneurs or small business owners might be held back by health insurance as a barrier, so I really want to work to address that and make that more affordable for small business owners and entrepreneurs, specifically, but also for everyone else who is interacting with the state health insurance market,” she said.

Among other ideas, Kassay said she would use the office to pursue greater public investment in mental health services, target the opioid crisis, apply pressure on the Metropolitan Transportation Authority for improved services along the Port Jefferson Branch of the Long Island Rail Road and expand coordination between the state and local levels of government.

Kassay’s current term as village trustee expires in July 2024. She stated she will not seek reelection for village office.

“I really look forward to serving not only Port Jefferson village residents but the residents throughout the district of AD4 from Stony Brook and all the way down to Gordon Heights, using the skills and relationships I’ve built at the village level and leveraging those skills all throughout the district,” she said.

To read Kassay’s entire statement, click here.

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Village of Port Jefferson Deputy Mayor Rebecca Kassay is a declared candidate for New York State’s 4th Assembly District. Photo by Marvin Tejada, courtesy Rebecca Kassay

The following is a press release from the campaign of Rebecca Kassay.

Rebecca Kassay, a dedicated community organizer, elected official and entrepreneur has declared her candidacy for the New York State Assembly in the November 2024 electoral cycle. With a proven track record of impactful community engagement, Kassay steps up to represent the communities of Assembly District 4 at the state level.

Kassay dove into local community service as an intern-turned-program director at Avalon Park and Preserve in Stony Brook. Beginning in 2011, she created and directed a youth environmental volunteer program, connecting hundreds of Suffolk County teens with dozens of nonprofits, municipal branches and stewardship projects throughout Long Island.

Kassay and the teens tackled volunteer efforts such as native habitat restoration, species surveys, organic gardening, beach cleanups, trail maintenance and educational signage creation.

Over the course of seven years, she built upon her aptitude and passion for empowering young stewards with practicable, tangible ways to make a difference in their communities. The program was awarded the Robert Cushman Murphy Memorial Award by Three Village Historical Society and recognized by the Brookhaven Youth Bureau.

In 2013, Kassay purchased and restored a historic Victorian home on Main Street in Port Jefferson with her husband, Andrew Thomas. A year later, they opened the doors of The Fox and Owl Inn bed-and-breakfast.

As the inn’s proprietor, Kassay has hosted countless tourists drawn in by the area’s rich history and natural beauty, as well as the family, friends and visitors of local residents and institutions for over nine years. On behalf of her small business, she is a proud and active member of the Rotary Club of Port Jefferson and Greater Port Jefferson Chamber of Commerce.

“I am a devoted member of the vast, dynamic community of folks who want to maintain and improve quality of life throughout and beyond the district,” Kassay said. “I am in constant awe at the individuals and groups who consistently advocate for solutions to their concerns and further their worthy goals. By uniting over shared interests and intentions, we as neighbors overcome our differences and rebuild the community’s strength. It will be my greatest honor to represent and support these voices in state-level conversations as well as local actions.”

In 2019, Kassay took her commitment to community action to new heights by creating and filming a documentary series titled “Be The Change with Rebecca.” This immersive series, currently in post-production, adopts a “Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe”-style approach to showcase the power of volunteerism and inspire others to roll up their sleeves to get involved. This experience further deepened Kassay’s understanding of community issues and the importance of both grassroots efforts and government response.

When the COVID-19 pandemic struck, Kassay mobilized her community network and organizational skills to establish and lead a pop-up initiative, Long Island Open Source Medical Supplies. In under three months, a core team of volunteer administrators and hundreds of Long Islanders created, donated and delivered over 40,000 pieces of lifesaving, spirit-lifting homemade personal protective equipment and comfort care items to local essential workers and patients at hundreds of medical facilities, institutions and businesses.

In collaboration with Suffolk County Police Asian Jade Society, Amo Long Island, local Scout troops and many others, LIOSMS also organized a food drive, collecting 2,500 items to stock local food pantries. LIOSMS was recognized with Suffolk County’s 2020 Operation HOPE COVID-19 Responder Award.

Kassay is a SUNY New Paltz graduate with a major in environmental studies and a minor in communications and media. Her community work was recognized by her alma mater with a 40 Under 40 Award in 2017, and she has since returned as a panelist at conferences such as the SUNY New Paltz Women’s Leadership Summit.

Kassay has served as an elected Port Jefferson Village trustee since 2020, and now serves as the village’s deputy mayor. Her consistent incorporation of climate resilience strategies, transit-oriented development practices and heightened community involvement into village conversations has demonstrated her dedication to creating a sustainable, harmonious future. 

She has led successful initiatives to establish a community garden on Beach Street; plan for the revitalization of village parkland; install beach cleanup stations along village waterfront; establish a resident election task force to research term lengths and limits; and form intermunicipal relationships to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of government.

“I’m running for the New York State Assembly because we need leaders who understand that governance which truly reflects the voices, needs and concerns of their constituents starts with listening,” Kassay said. “In the village government, there are no national political party affiliations. I am practiced in working with anybody who is interested in pursuing commonsense, balanced solutions to ongoing challenges.”

Rebecca Kassay’s candidacy represents a continuation of her lifelong commitment to fostering community connections, proactively confronting concerns and advocating for a sustainable and resilient future. Kassay will officially launch her campaign at an event early in the new year.

“I look forward to continuing conversations with new and familiar community partners and rising to serve at the state level, where I can work further for the well-being of my constituents and all fellow New Yorkers.”

For more information or to contact the campaign, email [email protected].

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On the left is Viviana Cueva Gomez and Brian Cueva with their son Mattias. On the right is Byron and Anita Gomez with their second son Thiago. Viviana and Byron are siblings. Photo courtesy St. Charles Hospital

It started on Friday, Oct. 13, and concluded with a near photo finish the next day.

Viviana Cueva Gomez, who was getting close to her due date, went to St. Charles Hospital with her husband Bryan at around 7 p.m., when she started to feel discomfort.

The medical staff admitted her to the hospital, where she and Bryan anticipated the delivery of their first child.

Around 3 a.m. on the 14th, Anita Gomez, who is married to Viviana’s brother and was also pregnant, began to experience contractions, which sent her to Port Jefferson-based St. Charles Hospital as well.

At one point during the night, Viviana suspected that her sister-in-law was at the hospital.

Viviana asked the hospital staff if they could confirm that Anita was on the same floor.

The hospital, however, couldn’t give her that information because of confidentiality rules.

At some point during the next day, Viviana’s husband Bryan bumped into his brother-in-law Byron.

“I didn’t know my sister was there,” said Byron. “When I saw Bryan, we were joking” about how their sons were coming on the same day.

Indeed, as that Saturday wore on, Dr. Sarah Karalitzky performed C sections on both women.

Despite coming to the hospital second, Anita won the birth race, delivering her son Thiago at 4:26 p.m., while Viviana gave birth to Mattias soon thereafter, at 5:45 pm.

Separated by just over an hour with their birth times, the cousins were also just over half a pound different in weight: Thiago weighed in at 8 pounds, one ounce, while Mattias was 7 pounds, 10 ounces.

Anita Gomez holds her son Thiago. Photo from Byron Gomez

Big announcements

The extended family work in the same business, towing and fixing cars at S&B Auto Repair in Middle Island.

Viviana recalls the moment her brother shared the big news with their father Secundo at work.

Byron “started to tell my dad,” she said. “Everyone asks him what happened, is someone here [having] a baby?”

The family looked at Anita, who also works at S&B.

“Yes,” Byron said, “but someone else is, too.”

Their father looked at his daughter.

“Viviana, you?” he asked.

When she nodded, he jumped up and clapped for the impending arrival of two grandchildren.

“We didn’t believe we would deliver the same day, but things happen,” Viviana said.

Viviana, 31, and Byron, 29, have two other siblings, neither of whom is married and has children.

In addition to this momentous day, the extended Gomez family, who are originally from Ecuador, is having a memorable year, with a cousin giving birth this past June while another cousin is expecting a child in January.

“My family is growing a lot this year,” said Viviana, who lives in Medford.

Viviana Cueva Gomez and husband Bryan pose with their son Mattias. Photo from Viviana Cueva Gomez

Expectations for the cousins

Byron and Viviana anticipate that the two cousins, who were born one room apart at St. Charles Hospital and who each left the hospital the following Tuesday, Oct. 17, will be close.

“They’re going to be like brothers,” predicted Byron, who lives in Coram.

The two families haven’t yet decided whether they would consider having joint birthday parties for the Libras, whose Zodiac sign is, perhaps fittingly, represented by two equal parts of a scale.

A friend suggested the two cousins “don’t have to share the same day” for future birthday celebrations, said Viviana. Their friend wants to “go to two different parties” to celebrate each of their births.

Newborn Thiago with his older brother Dereck, who is five. Photo from Byron Gomez

A beaming brother

Thiago’s brother Dereck, who just turned five, is already fond of his younger sibling.

“He says he’s going to share TV and toys with him,” said his father Byron. “All the time, he’s kissing him. He really loves him.”

Indeed, Dereck used to play with a friend, but he only wants to be with his younger brother. When Dereck speaks to Thiago, he tells him he loves him and asks his father to translate his newborn brother’s movements and sounds.

“I say that he loves you, too,” said Byron.

Karalitzky, who delivered both babies, said staff members were caught up in the excitement.

An OB-GYN, Karalitzky feels “lucky to be in a field where the vast majority of the time, she’s able to be a part of good news and a happy day” in people’s lives. For the extended family, the shared birthday ensures that people “will always remember your birthday.”

Karalitzky, who has been at St. Charles Hospital for 10 years, should know: she was born on her mother’s birthday.

Her mom “always made it a special day,” Karalitzky said. “Every year, she’d say, ‘This is the best birthday present ever.’”

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File photo by Raymond Janis

Appreciation for community support

The farm animals at Sherwood-Jayne Farm in Setauket. File photo by Nancy Trump

‘Tis the season of gratitude, and I wanted to take a moment to thank all of the community members who have taken the time to support the animals at the Sherwood-Jayne Farm in Setauket.

The love I have felt from each of you has meant so much. Thank you for the phone calls, the visits at the farm and the tracking down of me on social media to share your kind words and encouragement. While the animals have continued to live on the property, this is due to the plans of Preservation Long Island to remove them being put on hold — meaning that the potential of the animals leaving the farm is still a very high probability. So to all of you who spoke up to help put those plans on hold, I ask you to do it again. These animals are a legacy to the Sherwood-Jayne Farm and a treasure to our community. Let’s keep the conversation going and the beauty of our town intact.

 

Susanna Gatz

Setauket

Saying thanks for local road repair

I have to say thank you to the town [Brookhaven Highway Department] for repairing the road on Terryville Road in Port Jefferson Station. They did a wonderful job.

Kitty Shults

Port Jeff Station

A plan for reducing energy rates

The biggest chunk of my utility bill, like that of all ratepayers, covers “delivery fees,” not the price of gas.

This subsidy allows gas companies to expand their methane-leaking infrastructure at a time when common sense tells us we should be reducing reliance on gas in favor of solar and wind power.

Delivery fees also fund lobbying campaigns to encourage more gas usage and derail mandated clean energy projects. Some companies even promise they’re moving to “renewable natural gas,” which is nearly all methane, the most effective means of heating our atmosphere and oceans, causing more intense rainstorms and flooding.

The health risks of indoor gas pollution should have us seriously considering electric stoves and other home appliances. Indoor pollution from electric stoves can easily exceed health guidelines, spreading throughout our homes. Such concentrations of toxic substances would be considered illegal if it occurred outside, and dramatically increases children’s risk of asthma.

On a state policy level, it’s time for Gov. Kathy Hochul [D] to include the NY HEAT (Home Energy Affordable Transition) Act in her executive budget after state Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie [D-Bronx] blocked its passage.

NY HEAT sets out a timely and strategic right-sizing of the gas distribution system in a just and affordable manner. Removing the 100-foot subsidy rule, or “free hook-up,” and prohibiting installation of gas service into areas previously without it would save consumers $200 million a year. This is a logical move, as new home construction is already required to shift to all-electric. NY HEAT would also empower legislators to gradually decommission gas pipelines and cap energy costs for low- and moderate-income families at 6% of income.

NY HEAT addresses our rising utility bills, while helping to decarbonize our communities.

Debra Handel

Shoreham

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DoD photo by Samuel King Jr., U.S. Air Force/Released

As this year’s local election season comes to a close, the TBR News Media staff congratulates our newly elected officials at the county and town levels.

There is much work ahead in the coming term, with many local issues and important public business to resolve. We look forward to working with our officials to bring these issues to the public’s attention.

To those not elected Tuesday night, we strongly urge you to stay involved in our deliberative process. Incumbents need strong voices and passionate citizens who can direct them toward representative policy decisions. The issues raised and discussions shared throughout the campaign were not for nothing, so continue to speak up.

Within a broader context, many Americans are losing faith in our democratic norms. So often, petty politics erodes civility within our democracy. The bickering among politicians can give way to gridlock and a breakdown of progress. Ultimately, when politicians refuse to get along, the people lose out.

At the same time, we are confronting simultaneous regional crises from municipal solid waste disposal, wastewater infrastructure, budget stabilization and environmental degradation, among others.

Right now, the stakes are simply too high to allow for inaction in the years ahead. If our local officials fail us now, our region could undergo irreversible decline. The result will be a further exodus of people away from Suffolk County in search of a better life elsewhere.

Averting these potential calamities is easier said than done. It will require our officials put the public good over party interest or private benefit.

Political extremists and tribalists from both ends of the political spectrum tend to attract undue attention from officials and press alike. We must begin to drown out these extremes as well, lifting the voices of the more temperate majority while advancing the interests of moderate, independent-minded citizens.

To be effective, our local officials must first learn to achieve compromise. We, therefore, hope for greater bipartisanship, civility and unity in the coming term. Our community and region depend upon this critical first step. Let’s put the people first.

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Heather Lynch, above, is the inaugural director of the Collaborative for the Earth at Stony Brook University. File photo courtesy Rolf Sjogren/National Geographic

Heather Lynch is hoping to take a few pages out of the Coke and Pepsi playbook, which is rarely, if ever, used in the fields where she works.

A penguin expert who has traveled more than 9,000 miles to Antarctica to monitor populations of these flightless water foul, Lynch, who is the IACS Endowed Chair of Ecology & Evolution, plans to use her new role as the inaugural director of the Collaborative for the Earth at Stony Brook University to accomplish several tasks, including shaping the way people think about environmental issues like climate change.

“Coke and Pepsi understand the importance of psychological research and persuasion,” Lynch said. “The environmental community has not used any of the tools to get at the hearts and minds” of the public.

Scientists have been trying to reach people in their heads when they also need to “reach them in their hearts,” she added.

Lynch hopes to figure out ways to bring in people who are experts in psychology and persuasion instead of adding another model of climate change consistent with so many others that have made similar predictions.

Lynch, whom a steering committee chose from among several qualified tenured faculty at SBU to take on this new role, will also help organize forums in which researchers and participants worldwide discuss pressing environmental issues.

In the forums, Lynch plans to encourage debate about challenging topics on which researchers disagree, such as the role of nuclear power in achieving net-zero greenhouse gas emissions. She also hopes to address the concept and moral hazard of geoengineering.

In recent years, scientists have debated whether geoengineering, in which scientists use chemical means to cool the atmosphere, could exacerbate the problem or give people false hope that taking steps to reduce emissions or mitigate climate change may not be necessary.

Lynch also suggested other “third-rail topics” as population control may be fodder for future Stony Brook forums.

Scientists “don’t discuss controversial things,” said Lynch. “There tends to be an echo chamber in the scientific community. The forum will help us air these issues.”

To be sure, Lynch believes the issue of climate change and the urgency of the climate crisis is well established. The differences she hopes to discuss relate to various potential solutions.

“I’m hoping to focus on things where we disagree,” she said. “We need to get at the root of that.”

SBU Provost Carl Lejuez, to whom Lynch is reporting in this role. File photo

The right candidate

As a candidate, Lynch met numerous criteria for the search committee and for Provost Carl Lejuez, to whom Lynch is reporting in this role.

“Her research is and has been squarely placed to understand climate change and the climate crisis and how we try to move forward toward a healthier planet,” said Lejuez.

Lynch is also a “creative, entrepreneurial thinker” who has an “exciting vision for what the Collaborative can be,” Lejuez said. “She has a real strength in leadership and is very good at bringing people together.”

Lejuez has several goals for the Collaborative in its first year. He would like Lynch to start creating forums that can “live up to the potential of being a leader in creating that academic conference that brings rigor to real-world problems” and is connected to policy, industry and politics and that has clear deliverables.

Additionally, Lejuez would like the Collaborative to move toward an understanding of Stony Brook’s role in the future of climate science, climate justice and sustainability.

New podcasts

Lynch plans to dedicate considerable energy to this effort, cutting back on some of her teaching time. She plans to conduct podcasts with people on campus, speaking with them about their work, what keeps them up at night, what technologies excite them and a host of other topics.

She also hopes to bring in the “brightest lights” to big-stage events at Governors Island and on Long Island.

She is pondering the possibility of creating a competition akin to the entrepreneurial TV show “Shark Tank.” At Stony Brook University, faculty judges could evaluate ideas and advance some of them.

The Shark Tank could give students an opportunity to propose ways to create a greener Stony Brook campus.

As for the psychology and social science of environmental efforts, Lynch plans to work with the Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science to explore ways to understand how people think about these issues.

The evidence and impact of climate change increases the urgency of this work and the potential contribution of the university to debating, addressing and proposing solutions.

Earlier this year, Hurricane Otis intensified within 12 hours from a tropical storm to a deadly Category 5 hurricane, slamming into Mexico.

The potential for future storms with intensification that occurs so rapidly that forecasts might not provide warnings with sufficient time to take emergency measures should ring alarm bells for area residents.

Hurricane Otis, whose intensification was the second-fastest recorded in modern times, “should scare everybody on Long Island,” said Lynch. “People think toddling along with business as usual is an option. That is not an option.”

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File photo by Sara-Megan Walsh/TBR News Media

By Heidi Sutton

November 11 marks the annual observance of Veterans Day, a day on which we honor the millions of brave men and women who have served in the Armed Forces. The following towns on the North Shore will pay their respects:

Centerport

The Suffolk County Vanderbilt Museum, 180 Little Neck Road, Centerport will thank veterans and active military personnel and their families for their extraordinary service on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, November 10, 11 and 12 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

The Museum will offer free admission and Planetarium shows to them and their families as guests. (Veterans’ proof of military service, or active-duty military ID is required for complimentary guest admission.)

“The men and women of our armed forces courageously choose to serve and defend our country,” said Elizabeth Wayland-Morgan, executive director of the Vanderbilt, “and inviting them to be ours guests is one way to thank them.”  For more information, call 631-854-5579 or visit www.vanderbiltmuseum.org.

Cold Spring Harbor

Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery, 1660 Route 25A, Cold Spring Harbor thanks all veterans with free admission to the hatchery on Nov. 11 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. when you show your military I.D. For more information, call 516-692-6768.

East Setauket

VFW Post 3054 will host a veterans recognition service at the Memorial Park at the corner of Shore Road and Route 25A in East Setauket on Nov. 11 at 11 a.m. Residents are invited to join local veterans for a short ceremony that will feature the laying of wreaths from local community groups. For further details, call 631-406-1938.

Greenlawn

Hosted by American Legion Post 1244, a Veterans Day ceremony will be held at Greenlawn Memorial Park, Pulaski Road, Greenlawn on Nov. 11 at 11 a.m. with neighboring American Legion posts plus many community groups and Scouts. Call 631-816-9640 for further information.

Kings Park

A Veterans Day Parade will be held in Kings Park on Nov. 11. Step off is at RJO Intermediate School, 99 Old Dock Road, Kings Park at 10:15 a.m. and ends at Veterans Plaza in front of the Kings Park Library and 1 Church St. The parade will be followed by opening prayers, guest speakers, Moment of Remembrance and wreath laying ceremony followed by closing prayers. Call 631-269-6421 for more information.

Manorville

The Long Island Game Farm, 489 Chapman Blvd., Manorville is honoring active duty, retired, and veteran members of the military, National Guard, and reserves by offering free admission to the game farm throughout the month of November. These service members can also bring up to four family members on the date of the visit and receive 50% off admission. The game farm is open Thursday and Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and weekends from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., as well as holidays. For more information, call 631-878-6644.

Port Jefferson

American Legion Wilson Ritch Post 432 invites the community to attend its Centennial Veterans Day/Armistice Day Memorial Observance Remembrance at Veterans Memorial Park on East Broadway in Port Jefferson (across from Village Hall) on Nov. 11 at 11 a.m. For more information, call 631-626-2911.

Rocky Point

Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 6249, 109 King Road, Rocky Point hosts a Veterans Day ceremony on Nov. 11 at 11 a.m. Residents are invite to join veterans for this event. 631-744-9106

St. James

Sgt. John W. Cooke VFW Post 395 will host a Veterans Day Parade in St. James on Nov. 11. The parade will kick off at 10 a.m. and heads down Lake Avenue to St. James Elementary School. For more info, call 516-987-6201

Setauket

The Three Village Historical Society,  93 North Country Road, Setauket remembers and honors all the individuals who have served and who are currently serving. As a thank you, the History Center at the Society is offering free admission to all Veterans and their families on Nov. 11. They will be open for tours of their exhibits from noon to 4 p.m. Veterans and active duty military who visit on Nov. 111 will get a free family membersshop for 2023-2024. For more information, call 631-751-3730.

Sound Beach

The Sound Beach Civic Association will hold a Veterans Day service on Nov. 11 at the Sound Beach Veterans Memorial Park on New York Avenue at 11 a.m. All are welcome. For more information call 631-744-6952.

 Stony Brook

The Long Island Museum, 1200 Route 25A, Stony Brook remembers, honors and thanks all the men and women who have served and who are currently serving. As a tribute, the museum is offering free admission to retired and active military personnel and their families on Nov. 11 from noon to 5 p.m. Call 631-751-0066 for further information.

 

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METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

We are on the precipice of a few social evenings. As such, I have prepared the internal and external dialog of one such potential interaction. Yes, some of it reflects my performance in previous gatherings, while other elements are exaggerated versions of what may happen. And away we go:

“Hi Pat, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Dan.”

“Good to meet you, too, Dan.”

Ow, did you have to squeeze my hand that hard? Were you trying to prove something? I get it. You’re bigger and stronger than I am. You probably lift weights and stare at yourself in the mirror at the gym while you listen to Annie’s “Tomorrow.” No, I know you don’t listen to Annie. At least, not in public..

Not that you asked, but I like to sweat in the gym, too. I use the elliptical machine, the bike and the treadmill. 

“So, did Maria tell you about me?”

Wait, who’s Maria? Oh, right, your wife, the woman standing next to you. She’s the reason we’re here. Our wives worked together a few years ago and now the four of us are going out to dinner.

Pat is talking about how great he is at bowling.

He wants me to smile, so I’m smiling, but I’m not sure what he said. Maybe it was self deprecating? Nope, doesn’t seem likely. He’s talking about how much his average has gone up since he joined the Thursday night league.

“Good for you,” I say.

He nods appreciatively. Whew! I said the right thing. Go me! 

Oh, cool, now he’s talking about how great his son is at tennis. I’m picturing myself scuba diving. I’m looking at him, but I’m imaging fish around me, the warm water, and the bubbles that expand as they head to the surface. Nice! Life is good down here. Oh, wait, he just touched my shoulder. He wants me to say something. Staring into space isn’t enough.

“You know what I’m saying?” he asked.

I’m sorry, no. I don’t know, but I’m going to nod and hope that’s enough. Nope, clearly not.

“Tell me more about your son,” I say.

That’s enough. He’s off to the races with another story about some incredible app his son is working on that already has over 1,000 subscribers. My wife seems to be enjoying Maria’s company. Wait, no, she wrinkled her eyes subtly at me. Uh oh! She knows I’m not paying attention to John. No, that’s not his name. It begins with a P. No, hold on. I’ll get it. It’s Paul.

“So, Dan,” she says, “did Pat tell you about their plans to go to Alaska this summer?”

Pat! Duh. How easy was that? I would have gotten it eventually. No, I wouldn’t. Who am I kidding? 

I’m going to focus closely on his story. He’s talking about how much he enjoys vacations. I like vacations.

“Alaska was pretty amazing,” I say, hoping I shared the right sentiment. “We saw whales, drove a dog sled, and ate fresh fish.”

He’s always wanted to go to Alaska. He can’t wait to see the wide open terrain. He wonders whether it’ll be the same 500 years from now.

Assuming the Earth is still here and is habitable, what will humans be talking about and thinking about in 500 years? Will a potentially longer life span mean that future humans will be more patient? Will they think about what our life was like today? They’re as likely to think about us as we are to think about the people who shared the world of 1523.

The evening is almost over. We pay the check and talk about how wonderful it is to to go out together.

“Yes, we should do this again some time,” I say as we head towards the car. Maria and my wife give each other a professional hug – not too long and not too close – while Pat and I share a manly handshake. Pat seems to appreciate the firmer grip.

“Something wrong with your hand?” my wife asks as we walk towards the car.

“Nope, all good,” I say, as I try to bring the circulation back to my fingers.

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METRO photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

We seem to be living at a higher level of anxiety. Maybe not all of us. Somewhere there might be one or two souls who are still calmly oblivious to the world around us. Those are the ones who have turned off their televisions and radios, who don’t read newspapers and have put away their cellphones. But from conversations I have had, that’s not the rest of us. The rest of us are quietly, or not so quietly concerned.

What’s wrong? Let’s make a list. Better yet, let’s not. Instead, let’s think about how to cope.

One way to start is to divide what troubles us into two lists: those we can do something about and those we cannot. Then concentrate on the former. When confronted with hate, we can respond with kindness. We can listen rather than scream. We can do our tiny bit to help make our neighborhood a better place.

A psychotherapist I was interviewing recently told me she instructs her anxious clients to concentrate on their breathing, taking deep breaths for ten minutes to calm the body. The usual trio of eating, sleeping and exercising properly are critically important to maintain. Meditation, and even aromatherapy may also help. 

Specifically:

Exercise regularly. It’s good for both body and mind. One recent study revealed that “people with physically active lifestyles had about 60 percent lower risk of developing anxiety disorders,” according to healthline. This study was done over 21 years and followed 400,000 participants.

How does exercise work? For one, it provides a distraction from whatever is worrying. Also, getting the heart rate up changes brain chemistry, encouraging the secretion of anti-anxiety brain messengers like serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). According to the American Psychological Association, “regular exercise leads to an enhancement of concentration and willpower, which can help certain anxiety symptoms.” 

Plus you feel good, especially when you stop. Walking is the simplest and perhaps most enjoyable way to exercise, particularly at this time of year, when it is not too hot nor too cold, and the changing colors of the foliage are a delight.

Eating a balanced diet, and eating it calmly, is important. Low blood sugar levels, dehydration and chemicals in processed foods, such as artificial flavorings, artificial coloring and preservatives can cause mood changes. A high-sugar diet can also have a negative reaction. So what should we eat? Fruits and vegetables, especially those leafy dark green ones rather than those high in starch, are ideal. After that, complex carbohydrates and beans, are a good source of nutrition. I happen to like fish, the white fleshy kind like sea bass, rather than lean meat, for animal protein. But remember, there is plenty of protein in veggies and beans.

Sleep is so important. A good night’s sleep leaves me feeling as if, the next day, I could “leap tall buildings at a single bound,” to borrow from the Superman tagline. Ah, but how to get a good night’s sleep? I am a good sleeper, and I will tell you what I do—most of the time.

I don’t watch television or use my computer or cellphone before going to bed. Something about that blue light wakes me up. I don’t even have those in my bedroom. I will sometimes read a bit, but not a page turner. My room is the coolest in the house, and I will frequently have the window open, even a tiny bit, in winter. I know that going to bed the same time each night is recommended, though I don’t always follow that advice. Also no alcohol before bedtime is also advised. It helps put me to sleep but I will be wide awake when the alcohol wears off in the middle of the night. And, I invested in a comfy down comforter years ago that, with its plushness, invites me into bed.

Better not to nap during the day, and that leaves me sufficiently tired by bedtime, especially if I have exercised. At least, it should. If it doesn’t, I will empty my thoughts onto a list, put the pad on the bedside table, then doze off.

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