Port Times Record

Assemblyman Ed Flood speaks in front of local politicians, educators and community members at a press conference against Gov. Hochul’s proposed school funding cuts. Photo by Mallie Jane Kim

By Mallie Jane Kim

Local political representatives and school superintendents rallied to Three Village Central School District Jan. 25 for a passionate press conference decrying proposed cuts to state school funding in Gov. Kathy Hochul’s (D) proposed budget. 

Hochul touted an $825 million increase in state funding for schools overall, but some districts — including 34 in Suffolk County and 10 in Nassau — would face decreases. Of these, Three Village would lose the highest dollar amount at nearly $9 million if the governor’s plan stands, and the smaller Port Jefferson School District would be hit by the largest percentage of funding loss on Long Island — over 28%. Mount Sinai, Cold Spring Harbor, Smithtown and Kings Park school districts would also see modest cuts. This marks a break from the “hold harmless” provision in New York, which in the past has guaranteed school districts didn’t receive less state funding than the previous year, a practice that takes some guesswork out of budget planning.

Political opposition

“Governor, stop playing politics with our children — because we will fight you tooth and nail,” New York State Assemblyman Ed Flood (R-Port Jefferson) said at the event. “We need to restore some common sense and do what’s right for the children of our community. Where are our priorities? Let’s put our children first.”

The politicians who spoke — including U.S. Rep. Nick LaLota (R-NY-1), state Assemblymembers Jodi Giglio (R-Riverhead), Jarett Gandolfo (R-Sayville), Doug Smith (R-Holbrook) and state Sen. Mario Mattera (R-St. James) — were united in considering the cuts as a targeted political attack and a conscious choice by the governor.

LaLota referred to the Jan. 5 Long Island Association’s annual State of the Region breakfast during which, as reported by Newsday, Hochul traded barbs with Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman (R), including her quip, “I walked in, I hear somebody doesn’t want New York on Long Island, I was ready to walk off the stage right then. You don’t want me to take all the money with me, though, right?”

LaLota called Hochul a “schoolyard bully” and suggested she is using children as a political pawn against Long Island.

“It is wholly unfair and unjust to take money from our kids because she’s got a political squabble with us,” he said. “Don’t come after our kids because you have a political problem with Long Island. The right thing to do is to fully fund our kids’ education — that’s something we rely upon.”

The governor’s state budget proposal represents a first draft. The state Assembly and Senate will be instrumental in crafting the finalized version, which is due April 1 — but does not often come in on time. If the budget takes until early May to pass, as it did in 2023, school districts will be in a tricky situation since their budgets must be ready and made available for public review between April 30 and May 7.

Superintendents and other groups oppose cuts

“It is important to recognize that these proposed changes will create uncertainty and hardship for our districts,” said Bayport-Blue Point Superintendent Timothy Hearney, who also serves as president of the Suffolk County School Superintendents Association. His district stands to lose 3.34% of its state funding under the plan.

Even though the budget is a first draft and subject to political bargaining in Albany, any final answer may come too late. School districts spend the early spring ironing out budget plans, so unless there is a change soon, districts will be faced with the option of incorporating the funding loss into the 2024-25 school year budget or risk putting up a budget that could surpass the state’s mandated cap on increases to the tax levy, an unpopular option for Long Island taxpayers, who already face high property taxes. In this instance, budget passage would require approval by a supermajority of voters (60 percent or more).

Hearney pointed out that education costs have increased even as enrollments have decreased over the past decade or so, in a nod toward one of Hochul’s stated reasons why some districts should receive less funding. “It’s crucial to underscore that condensing a decade’s worth of lost enrollment in a single year places an overwhelming burden on all of our districts,” he said.

Other concerned superintendents standing in support were Christine Criscione from Mount Sinai, Jessica Schmettan from Port Jefferson and Kevin Scanlon from Three Village. 

Scanlon spelled out what he thought the “significant challenges” losing $9 million in funds for his district would pose at a Jan. 24 school board meeting, the night before the press conference. He said he hoped for compromise in Albany, but that such sudden cuts would require drastic measures to accommodate. He said the district may have to close a school or discontinue the Three Village Academy high school program, and they may have to make cuts to the pre-K and pre-K enrichment programs, the Intellectually Gifted Program, special education aides, teaching positions, administrative positions, educational and extracurricular programs and even security. 

“Every area of this community will be impacted, so Three Village needs to come together as it has never done before,” he urged at the board meeting. “Parents, students, teachers, administrators, anyone out there — anyone on the street we can get in this community to be part of this conversation — we need for advocacy.”

Those who showed up to advocate at Thursday’s press conference included school board members, staff and teachers union members from Three Village and Mount Sinai, as well as members of parent teacher associations, also civic and community groups, including the local parent group Three Village Dads. 

David Tracy, leader of Three Village Dads, said he isn’t interested in being divisive politically, but couldn’t ignore the air of apparent retribution in the governor’s move. “Long Island was not a huge voting fan of the governor. I hate to believe this cut in the budget is somewhat of a backlash for that,” he said, adding that the disparity in funding changes from district to district is baffling to him. “It’s just tragic that it comes from our kids.”

Three Village Civic Association president Charles Tramontana agrees the issue is bipartisan. “Nobody wants to see that amount of funding cut without some sort of warning. I don’t think it’s controversial,” said Tramontana, who was scheduled to attend the press conference but was stuck home sick. 

“I don’t understand the way the state operates sometimes,” Tramontana said. “They didn’t give any notice that they were dropping that ‘hold harmless’ provision. Basic fairness would dictate that you would give some warning.” He added, “We took some hit— $9 million in one year is definitely going to cause some chaos in our budget.”

Pictured above, the PJSTCA executive board. File photo by Raymond Janis

By Samantha Rutt

Nearly 60 community members gathered at Comsewogue Public Library Jan. 23 for the Port Jefferson Station/Terryville Civic Association meeting. The crowded gathering touched on a wide range of topics from amending and establishing new organizational bylaws, to local fire station renovations and closing with a presentation from developer group, R&M Engineering, of Huntington. 

A few noteworthy officials were in attendance, county Legislator Steve Englebright (D-Setauket), former Port Jefferson deputy mayor and state Assembly District 4 candidate Rebecca Kassay (D-Port Jefferson), and Skyler Johnson (D-Port Jefferson Station), also an Assembly D4 candidate. 

The meeting began with a brief announcement with regard to the updated bylaws of the association to be reviewed and eventually voted upon. Before the Jan. 23 meeting, the updated bylaws were posted to an online forum where members were able to voice any concerns or objections. The presentation of the amended bylaws was met with a handful of responses from attendees with concerns mainly centered around voting status. It was noted that all members in good standing, having paid dues, attended three or more meetings per year and reside in 11776 ZIP code would be eligible to vote. Additionally, comments or concerns can be placed via the online forum before the official vote sometime in March.

Following the brief presentation, civic president, Ira Costell, acknowledged the community’s representation at a recent Town of Brookhaven board meeting addressing the upcoming Staller development. 

“I want to compliment us as a community, whether we were for it or against it. I believe we held ourselves in good regard in front of the Town Board with decorum, decency and cooperation, which is the hallmark of our community,” Costell said.

The development has been a significant topic of concern for the civic in recent months. Civic member Paul Sagliocca recently filed a FOIL request and learned that 60 people sent emails with regard to the upcoming development, eight in favor and 52 with concerns or objections. 

“The town clerk gave me 60 letters, eight of them were in favor as it stands right now, 52 had concerns whether it was an objection, or they were afraid that it might be [built] too high or an influx of traffic.” Sagliocca said, “We broke down to 12% in total favor of what’s going on there, as opposed to 88% wanting some more input to get to the final product.” 

The meeting continued with another presentation from the civic association president noting the ongoing vote at the Terryville Fire Station for renovations. At the time of the meeting, the station had received nearly 200 votes. The station, originally built in 1974, is in need of repairs and updates. A plan including several updates, will be decided from the Jan. 23 vote.

“The substation on Old Town Road was originally built in 1974, now 50 years old, with the ethic and the culture of what existed 50 years ago, not what exists today,” Costell said. “Volunteers are crammed into every single inch, to the point where it could be unsafe in terms of the ability to respond and maneuver around the facility.”

Costell urged members of the community to get out and vote regardless of their chosen stance on the issue. 

“I think it would be great if we can help support them. That’s just my pitch. Feel free to take a look at the numbers and decide whether or not it’s not your cup of tea. But either way, please just let’s go out as a community and vote,” Costell urged. 

Up next on the docket, developers from R&M Engineering stood before the civic to deliver a presentation listing their proposed 45-unit development, Cordwood Estates. The development property spans 5.5 acres and will be utilized as a retirement community at the corner of Terryville Road and Old Town Road. The proposal includes a plethora of ranch-style homes, each with two bedrooms and two bathrooms and a single car garage. Residents will have access to outdoor space and recreational facilities including sport courts and a pool. 

The audience took turns asking questions and listing concerns throughout the presentation addressing several topics. Among the most pressing concerns were that of traffic increase and poor location of ingress and egress points. A concerned resident took note of the proposed development’s exit points as they neighbored an already dangerous intersection. Additionally, comments were made with concerns for the existing vegetation, sewage and wastewater infrastructure as well as the affordability of the site. The proposal still has to go before the Town Board for approval. 

The next civic association meeting will be held Feb. 27. All other dates and meeting minutes information can be accessed via www.pjstca.org.

Rich Daly doing a live carving on day one at the Port Jefferson Ice Festival. Photo by Julianne Mosher

By Julianne Mosher

The 5th annual Port Jefferson Ice Festival didn’t disappoint, yet again, with hundreds of people coming near and far to enjoy this winter wonderland. 

Spearheaded by the Port Jefferson Business Improvement District and partnering with the, the festival gives visitors and residents a bunch of fun activities great for all ages. 

The common denominator each year is the fantastic ice sculptures created by Rich Daly — owner and ice sculptor with Ice Memories, based in Mastic Beach. Daly said he spends three weeks preparing for the two-day-long festival, creating 30 ice statues to distribute around Port Jefferson. From dogs outside Skinmed Spa to a cheeseburger outside Tommy’s, there is quite the variety. For this festival alone, Daly said he carved 225 blocks of ice (that’s 70,000 pounds) slated for the weekend.

The festival began Saturday, Jan. 27, and was supposed to go into the Sunday. However, a rainy forecast postponed the second day until this coming Sunday, Feb. 4. While disappointing for some, people who missed the first day can now have another chance to enjoy the festivities. Some of those festivities include admiring Daly’s sculptures around town, character appearances — Spider-Man and Barbie were spotted — and horse and buggy rides. 

But the biggest crowd draw is the three live ice sculpture experiences by Daly occurring throughout the day. 

Daly became the world’s fastest ice carver, according to Guinness World Records, back in 2013. 

“I carved 18,000 pounds of ice into 61 different carvings in two hours and 52 minutes surpassing the old record by over an hour and a half,” he said. “So now we’re 11 years in, and it’s still my record, thankfully.”

Last Saturday, Daly stood with a 300-pound block of ice in the Meadow Parking Lot behind PJ Lobster House with nearly 100 people and children cheering him on. He took his ice pick, carved out a rough design of a dove and then started up his chainsaw to carve out the bird. In under 30 minutes, the bird was ready and admirers could be photographed with the new creation.

This year’s Port Jefferson Ice Festival will have its grand finale on Sunday, Feb. 4, featuring all-new ice designs throughout the village along with Daly’s live carvings. Parking is free.

Suffolk County’s most famous weatherman did not disappoint. This morning, at 7:25 a.m., before a crowd of several hundred spectators, Holtsville Hal awoke from his slumber and did not see his shadow, predicting an early spring for the Town of Brookhaven.

According to tradition, if a groundhog sees its shadow after emerging from his burrow on Groundhog Day, there will be six more weeks of winter weather; if not, spring should arrive early.

Brookhaven Highway Superintendent Dan Losquadro read from Hal’s official prognostication: “…At sunrise, the sky was filled with more than one cloud, And so I hope your cheers will be quite loud. I did NOT see my shadow in the early morning hours, And so the wait will not be long until we see flowers. Sun and warm temperatures the next few weeks will bring, I hope everyone enjoys this year’s early Spring!”

“Thankfully, after a wet and rainy January, Hal has given us a sunny outlook for the remainder of this winter season,” Losquadro said.  “Regardless, the Brookhaven Highway Department is prepared, as always, for whatever Mother Nature sends our way.”

Holtsville Hal is just one of the more than 100 animals who reside at the Holtsville Ecology Site and Animal Preserve.  The center, which is open all year-round, includes a wildlife preserve, greenhouses, gardens, and jogging and exercise trails. For more information, visit www.brookhavenny.gov or call 631-451-5330.

File photo by Raymond Janis

Hooray for Theatre Three

As a longtime season ticket holder of Port Jefferson’s Theatre Three, I certainly appreciate the fine job Bradlee and Marci Bing did with their performance of “The Gin Game.” They still have it! To all who read this, we are blessed with live theater in our village. It is difficult these days to compete with modern technology, but on the other hand up close and personal performances are something special. This is more than a plug for Theatre Three. It is a message of do not miss these opportunities for live entertainment in your local area

Harry Faulknor

Port Jefferson

Glad for Lawrence Aviation action and looking for more 

The The tentative Metropolitan Transportation Authority deal at the former Lawrence Aviation site in Port Jefferson Station is moving forward with positive reactions from the officials on this plan. It is a partnership with federal, state, county and town officials that is making this happen: 

Proposed MTA electric line trainyard with a county bridge constructed if New York State requires it. 

A passive solar farm that is proposed in the old buildings site, which is being cleared and the metals being recycled.

The much-needed open-forested space in our hamlet as a buffer. All this is still in the planning process with the Suffolk County Landbank Corporation working on the details of which some are time critical such as the federal Environmental Protection Agency lifting the Superfund designation by the end of this year and the New York State Department of Transportation working on any Greenway rerouting. 

We in the community are glad for the positive results we see with the removal of these eyesores and are now asking our officials to move on with the paperwork. Our Port Jefferson Station has been looking for years for this progress. Let’s make it happen.

 Charlie McAteer

Port Jefferson Station

Legal immigrants justifiably fearful

If true, it is commendable that George Altemose [“Legal talented scientists are welcomed,” Jan.18, TBR News Media] and Paul Mannix [“The illegal immigration issue,” Jan. 25, TBR News Media] harbor no animosity toward legal immigrants, and only object to illegal immigration. Perhaps 40 years ago one could have reasonably argued that most conservatives felt that way. But unfortunately, they are wildly out of touch with the attitudes that now prevail in the Republican Party.

A 2019 Pew poll found 57% of Republican voters fear “losing our identity as a nation” due to immigration, a 13% increase in just two years. That phrasing gives away the game, as equating our “identity” as Americans to ethnicity or race is inherently bigoted. The leading Republican presidential candidate recently said that immigrants are “poisoning the blood of our country.” If they are really a threat to our “blood” it is clearly irrelevant whether they are documented or not. He gleefully separated children from their families and is now promising internment camps and mass deportation for 11 million people peacefully living, working and paying taxes in the U.S. His followers are loving it.

Prospective foreign Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory students and employees rightly recognize that such rhetoric wouldn’t exist if the MAGA faction of the Republican Party was making nuanced distinctions between legal and undocumented immigrants. They understand that this rhetoric, and the normalization of the hatred behind it, pose a real threat to their physical safety.

Let’s be frank: U.S. business loves illegal immigration because it gives a huge pool of vulnerable workers. The farming, meatpacking, construction, landscaping, hospitality, health care and food service industries all heavily exploit cheap, undocumented labor. Republican politicians refuse to effectively punish employers — the only way to actually reduce illegal immigration — because the issue lets them exploi their voters’ racial and ethnic fears in every election. Witness their blocking the recent bipartisan Senate border security bill. MAGA voters, currently driving the Republican Party, are virulently anti-immigrant because they believe the U.S. should be a white, traditional, Christian country.

By all means let’s implement a humane, legal immigration system that actually addresses the obvious workforce needs of the country, punishes illegal hiring, while addressing impacts on infrastructure and services. Let’s pursue a more enlightened foreign policy that helps stabilize and develop Mexico and Central America — by far the largest sources of illegal migration. But let’s not pretend that most Republicans are happy to welcome nonwhite legal immigrants.

John Hover

East Setauket

Wernher von Braun is considered a great American

I would like to respond to a recent commentary letter from Professor Lester G. Paldy regarding my characterization of Wernher von Braun as a great American, as a consequence of his enormous contributions to our space program [“Hardly an example of a great American,” Jan. 25, TBR News Media]. 

It is true that von Braun was instrumental in the development and use of the German V-2 rocket during World War II. He was forced to join the Nazi party in 1937, when he was 25 years of age, and the SS in 1940, when he was 28. He showed no enthusiasm for activities other than rocket development, and advocated for work on space travel. In 1944, von Braun was suspected of having a defeatist attitude, for which he was arrested by the Gestapo and held for two weeks, before being released because his contributions were deemed essential for the German war effort. 

Following the defeat of Germany, von Braun and more than 100 of his associates were brought to the United States, where they were attached to the U.S. Army Ordnance Corps for the purpose of developing advanced military rockets. This effort was enormously successful under von Braun’s leadership. They produced the Redstone and Jupiter-C missiles, leading to our entry into the space program with our first satellite in 1958, closely following the Soviet Union’s Sputnik a year earlier. This was followed by the Saturn V rocket, which took us to the moon in 1969, and is still the most powerful machine ever built by man. None of this would have been possible without von Braun, both for his technical leadership and for his popular promotion of the importance of sending people into space.

Today, von Braun remains a controversial figure, primarily as a result of the brutal use of Holocaust slave labor for the manufacture of the V-2 rockets. Research appears to show that he was aware of this situation, but was powerless to prevent it. Had he tried, he would have been immediately removed from the program, and almost certainly killed. As it turned out, he spent the first 33 years of his life in Germany, and his next — and last — 32 years as a model citizen of the United States. Was he a great American? I believe that he was.

George Altemose

Setauket

Need to reassess Hochul’s plan to decrease our school aid

As a lifelong member of the Three Village community, alumnus of Ward Melville High School and parent of a school-aged child, I am incensed by Gov. Hochul’s [D] plan to decrease our state aid by nearly $9 million. 

The recent proposal for the 2024-25 school year to cut nearly 18% of state aid to our district is quite plainly unjustifiable and contradictory to the current “hold harmless” policy. On Jan. 16, during the governor’s budget presentation, she touted “the highest level of education funding in state history,” yet she has chosen to penalize a district that was previously recognized by the State Comptroller’s Office as “susceptible to fiscal stress.” 

The decision to drastically cut aid to a high performing Long Island school district has the capacity to catastrophically fracture our incredible academic, arts, music, technology and extracurricular programs. We would also be vulnerable in areas concerning mental health and wellness, and physical safety and security at a time when these services are more essential than ever before.

Politicization of this situation would be a very easy sword to throw ourselves upon, but this is not the time to make this a “red-blue” issue. We need to stand together as it is truly incomprehensible to think that more consideration should not be given to all that would be lost by our district if these cuts were to happen. I, along with many other parents and community members, have reached out to the governor and other state officials in an attempt to urge a reassessment of the proposal. 

Our district simply cannot sustain the potential long-lasting damage that this proposed budget could cause, and our kids are worth the strength we can exude in our words and actions. 

Time is of the essence. Take a stand for our kids.

Stefanie Werner

East Setauket

Setauket Neighborhood House: a community gem

I recently attended a meeting of the Three Village Chamber of Commerce at the Setauket Neighborhood House and was intrigued on how our community came to own this wonderful place situated across from the lake leading into Frank Melville Park on Main Street.

The plaque in the house says the Neighborhood House was purchased by the 19th-century industrialist Eversley Childs and his wife Minnie and given to the Setauket community as a place for meetings and community gathering since 1918.

What a wonderful philanthropic gesture by the Childs couple to bequeath our community with a publicly-owned meeting house that in many ways is the center of community activity in the Three Villages. I know of few other places on Long Island that have such a community run and supported meeting house. 

Kudos to the members of the Setauket Neighborhood House’s board of directors and its manager for providing a special gathering place for civic, community and family events and for keeping it in such historic splendor. And a belated thank you to Eversley and Minnie Childs for their considerable community philanthropy and wisdom in providing a place for the Setauket community to meet and come together for more than 100 years.

George Hoffman

Setauket

Best person to serve as an MTA board member

Suffolk County Executive Ed Romaine [R] now has an opportunity to appoint a representative to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority 15-member board. Allow me to offer my services. I’ve been a regular Long Island Rail Road commuter for decades and previously worked for the Federal Transit Administration Region 2 New York Office. This included the development, review, approval and oversight for billions of dollars in annual grants that supported capital projects and programs for the MTA including the LIRR, NYC Transit subway, bus and Staten Island Railway, Metro-North Rail Road and MTA Bus along with 30 other transit agencies in New York and New Jersey. I also assisted the MTA in winning a number of national competitive discretionary grants. 

I possess a detailed knowledge of all MTA operating agencies including the LIRR physical assets such as equipment, stations, yards, shops and maintenance as well as management of capital projects and programs. I gave emphasis to completing federally funded projects on time, within budget with a minimum number and dollar value for contract change orders. They had to be justified as fair and reasonable. This was my motto for the MTA and LIRR. 

There is no MTA board member today who has had firsthand experience in applying for and managing federal assistance from Washington. Federal dollars play a key role in the success of MTA’s capital program. My addition to the board could be a real asset. Having no driver’s license, I have always been transit dependent. Being retired, I could represent the interests of Long Island commuters, taxpayers and transit advocates as a full-time member on the MTA board at no expense.

Larry Penner

Great Neck

Tell Hochul to keep the ‘hold harmless’ state school aid provision

I join fellow residents and school districts in shock and dismay after reviewing Gov. Hochul’s [D] proposed cuts to some local districts’ state education aid. There is no way to justify pulling the rug out from under our already strained school districts. This would only lead to hasty discussions about cuts to our children’s programming and staff, and likely increases to our already excessive property taxes. 

The proposed education aid reductions to 44% of New York state’s school districts — and increases in aid to the other 56% — result from the governor’s proposal to end the “hold harmless” provision. This provision has historically provided all districts with at least as much state education aid as they received in the previous fiscal year. 

Unfortunately, state Assemblyman Ed Flood’s [R-Port Jefferson] claim that “Hochul is dumping taxpayer dollars into New York City’s disastrous migrant crisis and leaving the priorities of New Yorkers behind” is either a misunderstanding of how the NYS budget works or a political attempt to pin our community’s upset on an unrelated issue. In the proposed budget, statewide education aid would actually increase by over 2% to a total of $35.3 billion, and our districts would lose funding only because this aid is being redistributed without the “hold harmless” provision.

Any attempt to tie this nonpartisan education policy issue to any partisan issues will weaken this urgent call to action. For the sake of our children’s quality of education and to avoid another burdensome tax hike, we must join in bipartisan opposition to this sudden abandoning of the “hold harmless” provision in the state’s foundation aid formula. We need all community leaders and residents to wholly engage in a clear message to Hochul: Reinstate the “hold harmless” provision for the 2024-25 state budget.

Rebecca Kassay

Port Jefferson

                                                               The writer has declared her candidacy for New York’s District 4 Assembly seat under the Democratic ticket.

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Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Sixth Squad detectives are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the people who allegedly stole liquor from a Port Jefferson Station store in December.

Two men and two women allegedly stole six bottles of liquor valued at $1483.98 from Mar-Kay’s Wine and Spirits, located at 4600 Nesconset Highway, on December 30, 2023, at approximately 6:45 p.m. They fled the scene in a dark colored minivan.

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS, utilizing a mobile app which can be downloaded through the App Store or Google Play by searching P3 Tips, or online at www.P3Tips.com. All calls, text messages and emails will be kept confidential.

Image from Wikimedia Commons public domain

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

I watch Jeopardy! and it’s a much more intellectual and challenging show than Family Feud, but, truth be told, I have watched several episodes of the Feud these days.

Perhaps it’s the simplicity of the show that entertains me or the fact that there just doesn’t seem to be much at stake. Sometimes, the questions seem ridiculous and, somewhere among the answers, is something about someone’s private parts, poop, or people’s mothers, almost as if I’m watching a game show version of an Adam Sandler movie.

Anyway, watching the show late at night, I have started imagining a farce, skit or just a show gone awry that I would enjoy watching, particularly when I’m in that time between mental focus and drifting off into an imaginary world where I am on skis and can jump over a mountain, land in a nearby ocean, communicate with dolphins and have dinner with a coed group of mermaids who particularly enjoy conversations about science, conservation and baseball.

In my imaginary episode, Steve Harvey starts with an apology, admitting that the word “theyself” isn’t a word. Then, as he meets the families, the first person in the family introduces their relatives.

“Hi Steve, I’m Joe and this is my wife whose favorite word late at night seems to be ‘no’ and who still hasn’t figured out how to bake chicken without burning it.”

Steve widens his eyes, takes a few steps back and lowers his jaw.

“And, next to her, is my sister-in-law Erica, who always knows better about everything and clearly thought my wife could do better when we got married. I have news for you, sis. Maybe she could have, but she chose me anyway, so get over yourself and show the world how smart you are.”

A little less shocked, Steve nods, looking past the mortified sister in law.

“Oh, that’s my brother-in-law Eric. If you were named Eric, would you date a woman named Erica? Eric and I share a beer once in a while, but he frequently has bad breath, so I wouldn’t get too close to him.”

Steve turns his head and makes a mental note.

“And, down at the end, that’s a neighbor of ours, Jessica, whom we’re passing off as a member of the family because no one else in our family could stand to be with us and because they didn’t believe we’d actually be on the Feud. So, hey, to the rest of the family, suck it!”

After an introduction from the other family, the two leaders come to the front of the podium for the obligatory hand shake. Joe refuses to shake hands and suggests that he has OCD and that he’ll tap feet instead.

Looking at the card, Steve shakes his head and says the top six answers are on the board.

“Name a time when you wish you were somewhere else,” he says.

Alex buzzes in first and Joe starts screaming that he’s sure he beat Alex and demands a replay review.

“We don’t do that here,” Steve says, frowning at Joe. “Have you ever watched the show?”

“But they do it in sports. Why not? It’s unfair. Don’t I get at least one challenge? I brought my own red flag,” Joe protests.

“I don’t care what you brought,” Steve says, forcing a smile on his bewildered face. “You don’t get a challenge. Let Alex answer.”

Steve turns to Alex.

“I was going to say ‘at the dentist’ but I’m changing my answer to ‘now.’”

Steve doubles over with laughter, holding the podium and shaking his head.

“Why is that funny?” Joe demands. “Besides, I have a better answer.”

“Let’s see where ‘now’ lands on the list,” Steve says, pointing to the board. It’s the third-most popular answer, which means Joe gets to speak. Steve turns to him, waiting for a reply.

“7:57 am on most mornings,” Joe says, smiling.

Steve doesn’t dare ask, repeating Joe’s answer, which gets the familiar red X.

“But it was a great answer,” Joe demands. “Can I challenge that?”

“No, you want to play or pass?” Steve asks, turning to Alex.

After Alex’s family clears all but one answer, Steve returns to Joe.

“Okay,” Steve says, treading carefully. “Name a time when you wish you were somewhere else?”

“When we first auditioned for the show?” Joe replies.

Steve laughs, pats him on the back and wishes him well.

Stony Brook Harbor. Photo by Pamela Murphy

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah dunaief

In my basement, where we keep the television, there lives a whole array of characters ready to leap into exciting action with the click of a button. All I needed to make this miracle happen was a subscription to Netflix who, by the way, just raised its rates. It’s still worth it because, when I return from the office at the end of the day, and dinner is over, we can enter any number of worlds and stories for entertainment and in the comfort of our home. Yes, we live in an amazing age. There was a time when only rich Hollywood stars could have movie theaters in their basements; now all us bourgeois types can.

So what am I watching now?

I enjoy the series that have multiple episodes. I particularly like the ones that have been going on for years, and I can bing them from their beginnings on weekends, when I don’t have to get up early the following mornings.

Currently we are coming to the end of the episodes on season five of “Virgin River.” Supposedly set in northern California but actually filmed in the gorgeous mountains of Vancouver, British Columbia, the scenery is worth following the story as much as the plot. There are frequent shots of craggy mountain tops, dense forests, verdant valleys, waterfalls pouring into glistening rivers and often spectacular sunsets. 

The storyline, which is somewhat predictable but nonetheless engrossing, concerns an attractive but troubled nurse practitioner, who comes to the small town of Virgin River in response to an ad from a medical practice. She is seeking escape from her San Francisco past and indeed finds, and begins to build, a new life in a place “where everybody knows your name.” In this instance, it’s Jack’s restaurant. You might already have guessed that the best feature of the eatery is Jack, a hunky guy with his own demons.

The many characters that we then meet are well drawn and we become hooked on all their stories. Many of the themes in each episode draw on contemporary societal issues, such as the fentanyl crisis, sexual assaults and the California wildfires. Our characters face the problems that present themselves with greater or lesser success, but one thing is a relief. There is nothing about national politics or international conflicts. The plots offer pure escapism, which is a welcome change after I have watched the preceding PBS News Hour.

The concept of a small town, in which most people are deeply connected and care for each other, has always been popular for storytellers. Is there any truth to that idea?

Along the north shore of Long Island where our newsmedia focus, we essentially live in small towns that are strung together by our roadways and rail line. Is the quality of life better here than in New York City?

In my opinion, which, of course, is a mere sampling of one, I would say yes. I do hold twin perspectives, however. I grew up in Manhattan, where I spent the first 21 years, then lived in Boston, then Chicago—big cities all. It was only as I approached 30 that we moved here, and I tasted what to me was small town life. 

What did that mean?

It immediately meant not having to struggle for privacy, which is a feature of urban living.There was enough room out here for people to live as they wished. The neighbors were not on the other side of the wall, or in the apartment above or below. And it was quiet sometimes. It’s almost never quiet in a big city. It could also be dark, which means the stars and moon are visible. Is it ever dark in Manhattan? And it certainly smells better. There are no huge exhaust fumes from endless vehicles nor uncollected garbage in the streets.

And with less density, residents interact more willingly—at the post office or in the supermarket. The pace is slower, more conducive to a bit of socializing.

But New York, New York? I’ll always say it. “It’s a wonderful town.”

GHOST FERRY

Elisa Hendrey of Sound Beach captured this image of the Grand Republic Ferry engulfed in a thick fog at Port Jefferson Harbor on January 25, a result of the unusually warm air temperature of 57 degrees reacting to the colder water

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Update on Jan. 30, 2024:

Suffolk County Police arrested a Coram man on Jan. 30 for leaving the scene of motor vehicle crash
that killed a man in Port Jefferson Station in June of last year. Following an investigation, Major Case Unit
detectives charged Jonathan Wibben, 34,  with Leaving the Scene of an Incident Involving a Fatality.

Update on June 7, 2023:

Detectives believe the vehicle that fatally struck Peter Williams on Route 112 in Port Jefferson Station on June 2 and fled the scene is a dark-colored, newer-model Jeep Wrangler with chrome rims.

Below is the original release:

Suffolk County Police Major Case Unit detectives are investigating a hit-and-run crash that killed a man in Port Jefferson Station on June 2.

Peter Williams, 47, of Terryville was crossing Route 112 eastbound, south of Rose Avenue, when he was struck by an unknown SUV heading southbound on Route 112 that fled the scene, then struck by a second southbound vehicle that remained at the scene, at 10:13 p.m.

Williams was pronounced dead at the scene by a physician assistant from the Office of the Suffolk County Medical Examiner.

Detectives are asking anyone with information on the crash to call the Major Case Unit at 631-852-6553 or call anonymously to Crime Stoppers at 1-800-220-TIPS.