Hope House Ministries celebration on April 22. Photos courtesy Carol Acker
By Samantha Rutt
For 44 years, Hope House Ministries has been a place for the broken and lost.
Founded in the spirit of St. Louis de Montfort, what started as a neighborhood response to a neighborhood issue, has expanded its service area to include all of Long Island, New England and beyond.
Hope House Ministries began in 1980 as a 10-bed facility providing crisis intervention for young men aged 16 to 21, and has since expanded to a multifaceted human service agency with housing, counseling and educational assistance for individuals and families in crisis.
On April 22, the ministry hosted a celebration at the Hope Academy at Little Portion Friary in Mount Sinai, featuring a service presided over by founder and executive director Father Frank Pizzarelli. Alumni, volunteers and several members of the community were in attendance.
Hope House Ministries is located at 1 High St., Port Jefferson (www.hhm.org).
On Wednesday, May 10, 2023, in the early afternoon, a local icon died of a massive heart attack at the age of 51; his wife found him sitting in his office chair. A local EMS worker who lives down the street came running and tried to revive him. He had already passed; I arrived just after he was pronounced.
Matthew “Matt” LoNigro left his lovely wife Julia, a local tenured schoolteacher and two extraordinary children: Matthew Jr., 20, and Abigail, a 16-year-old student at Miller Place High School. Matt was very actively involved in the Miller Place school district as the dynamic director of the Miller Place Boys Lacrosse.
Lacrosse was one of his many passions. For many years, he was actively involved on the Board of Directors for Suffolk County PAL Lacrosse. During his early career, he was actively involved with Port Jefferson Sporting Goods, a family business. He was a salesman for school districts seeking sports equipment and sports uniforms. He was such a dynamic salesman; he probably could’ve sold the Pope the Brooklyn Bridge.
Matt spent most of his adult life doing for others. He was actively involved with Christmas Magic, Backpack Pirates and countless other activities that reached out to the disadvantaged in our larger community. If somebody was in trouble and needed good advice and/or a helping hand, Matthew was the go-to guy. He was a tremendous mentor for young athletes who wanted to be lacrosse players.
We have lost a powerful example of what community and reaching out to others is really supposed to be about. These are crazy times. We need more people with Matt’s passion and commitment to helping others, with the purpose of giving back. His heart and random acts of kindness were the hallmark of his life.
I first met Matt when he was in middle school. As most know, he was part of a very large loving family. It was his family that taught him how to love and to be of service to others. Like many young men in their 20s, Matt struggled. He spent time living with me at Hope House. Even during those struggling days battling conflict, he was a power of example for the men he lived with.
When Matt completed our program, he started giving back and has not stopped for more than 20 years. Before he passed, he would come by every week to encourage the men in our community; especially those who were struggling to stay the course. His power of example that life can be better and one can change inspired so many over the years to take the risk to embrace change and transformation.
There was not a week since Matt lived with our community that I have not received a text or visit always making sure he ended both with “thank you for saving my life!” The world is a better place because Matt LoNigro walked among us. His power of example and his profound gratitude will live on to inspire so many others to embrace the process of change and transformation and to realize that they too can make the world a better place.
Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
What will it take for the country to push the pause button and then reset? We are a nation that is out of control. The pandemic has only underscored how out of control we are.
We are losing hundreds of young people every day due to fentanyl, heroin and suicide. The nation has declared that we have a national heroin epidemic but what is being done to address this tragic health concern that is killing more than 100,000 lives a year?
Yes, we are making Narcan more available but what about holistic residential treatment beds? There are no beds anywhere. Yes, a few for-profit programs have emerged in the midst of this crisis but what about the working class and working poor? How do they pay for evidence-based treatment for their children?
No one wants to challenge the insurance empire that is sentencing so many of our at- risk people to death. It is scandalous that an insurance gatekeeper with no training decides whether or not your son or daughter gets treatment! So many of these gatekeepers are clueless about addiction; our silence in this regard is deafening
How many more young people have to die before we say enough? If human life is such a priority, then challenge our paralyzed leadership to work together for systematic change in the treatment of substance use disorder and mental health.
Our social welfare system in Suffolk County needs to be overhauled department by department. Instead of empowering the broken and wounded to healing and change, our system is setting people up for failure. Your tax dollars are being wasted on a system that is inept and incapable of breaking the cycle of poverty and dependence among the people they are supposed to serve.
For more than 40 years in the trenches I have seen firsthand our destructive system at work I have seen countless homeless men set up for failure because we have no real transitional housing for them. We do not have enough case managers and social workers to assist them for so many of them are mentally ill and dependent.
The state is once again using fancy rhetoric to trick us with their new initiative to keep troubled youth at home. These troubled youth are young people between the ages of 12 and 17 who already have stolen cars, assaulted people and some are even in dangerous gangs. We have few to no mental health services in our local communities to support these young people and their families.
The few programs that do exist are being forced to close; soon we will have no help and no resources for families in need.
We are blessed to have a dynamic commissioner of social services in Suffolk County in the person of Frances Pierre. She is a talented and gifted professional who is being shackled by a legislature that lack the vision and commitment to the most vulnerable and broken among us. Our commissioner needs to be free to do her job. We need to raise our voices in support of her!
Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
A scene from Stony Brook University's May 19 9 a.m. graduation ceremony. Photo by Greg Catalano
By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli
Father Frank Pizzarelli
Graduation 2021 — what a year! In the midst of this horrific pandemic, so many of you have had the courage, despite so many obstacles, to stay the course and graduate with distinction from high school, college and graduate school.
This year has been plagued by so much sickness, death, and divisiveness. Yet, so many of you have volunteered to help those in need by your commitment to community service.
Graduates, as you continue your journey, do not let the social filters of our time enable bigotry, exclusivity and social injustice. Always speak up and work for human rights; try to realize that being human and sensitive to others is more important than any successful academic record. Showing compassion and understanding rooted in justice is more significant than a science formula. These are difficult lessons to learn because they demand that you risk all that you are now for what you could become tomorrow.
Look around you! We are living in a very challenging world. A new revolution is afoot; your generation is moving away from the indifference and the complacency of yesterday and is moving toward a new idealism of freedom and responsibility. It’s happening around the world, especially in the Middle East and in Africa. It’s not happening among the political elite, but among our young, our students, your peers. It gives me hope that tomorrow will be better.
May a kind word, a reassuring touch and a warm smile be yours every day of your life. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending. Teach love to those who know hate and let that love embrace you as you continue in the world.
Photo by Greg Catalano
Let the teachings of those you admire become a part of you so that you may call upon them. It is the content and quality of your character that is important, not merely the actions you take. Don’t judge a book by its cover, or stop at the introduction. Read it through; seek the meaning and messages it offers for life. Everyone’s life is sacred, even those who are different from you or whom you do not like.
Don’t be blinded by those who tend to use shame, blame, guilt and religion to shackle people down and divide them; set people free with your respect and nonjudgmental way.
We live in a world that is very deceptive. Don’t let the corrupt political rhetoric of our time blind your eyes, impair your hearing or shackle your dreaming. As you graduate, the social landscape that you must navigate is treacherous; be prepared to sail stormy waters, but don’t lose heart, draw on the goodness that lives within and the goodness of others to stay the course.
May your moral compass be grounded in respect for all human beings, no matter what their color, their race, their creed or their sexual orientation. May this compass guide you on a path that is committed to working for peace and social justice. As Gandhi once said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Congratulations graduates of 2021! Thanks for making the world a little richer, a little brighter, a little more hopeful and a better place to be!
Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
“Walk a mile in my shoes” -— an old popular folk song is so appropriate as we begin the New Year 2021. We were all hopeful that with a new year and a new presidential administration we would embrace a new beginning for our nation; realizing that we are not going to agree on everything but hoping that we would all work for healing and unifying of the soul of our nation.
Unfortunately, this New Year began with a violent insurrection on the People’s House in Washington D.C. Powerful voices in leadership incited an angry mob to desecrate the capital and they were the direct cause of the loss of five innocent lives. Violence always begets violence.
No matter what you believe, the videotapes and audiotapes of that horrific day don’t lie. We all saw and heard firsthand the reprehensible behavior and language on January 6, 2021. It will go down in American history as one of our darkest days. Despite that beginning, the validly elected president spoke of unity, healing and peace in his inaugural address. Since that day, our legally elected new president has tried to lead by example.
The polarization of our nation is a very destructive force paralyzing any possibility for bridge building and genuine healing. Painfully, there are elected leaders with powerful voices who are paralyzing our nation and not listening to the people.
As someone in the trenches who has committed his life to reaching out to the most vulnerable among us, I am profoundly saddened by the hateful rhetoric, the violent and threatening behavior and the lack of compassion, especially among some of those we’ve elected to lead this nation forward.
We need courageous leaders — men and women who are not afraid to speak and stand for the truth. Honestly, why would anyone want to volunteer to be an elected representative in Washington after witnessing what has happened this past year? The vice president and the speaker of the house were threatened with murder and unspeakable violence. Other public officials who have spoken out for justice and peace have had family members threatened.
The silence on both sides of the aisle is reprehensible. Their complicity is a disgrace. We the people must speak out about the social injustice and challenge the landscape of hate and disrespect. We are capable of being so much more. We can no longer remain silent and support this mediocrity and disrespect.
Freedom of speech is one of our greatest gifts and does not mean the freedom to lie, slander and demean another. The framers of the Constitution did not intend it to be a weapon to incite insurrection and/or violence. I believe the intent of freedom of speech was to support a platform to express the diversity of ideas and opinions within our nation and to look for consensus that supports the majority.
The majority of Americans from all ends of the political spectrum deplored the violence that was provoked at the People’s House on January 6; however, the loud boisterous minority dominated the headlines with endless excuses and unacceptable explanations for this senseless violence and loss of life.
“Walk a mile in my shoes” — we should all attempt to walk in another’s shoes especially the homeless, the poor, the addict, the mentally ill and the returning veterans. Think about the growing number of children, teenagers and young adults that are battling mental and emotional illness due to the growing challenges and stresses of the pandemic.
Despite living in the midst of all of this stress and suffering, I see hope, which is the real soul of America. I see people giving their stimulus checks to programs that support young people at risk; a middle school student standing up before his class and raising money for a project the benefits drug addicts and countless unsolicited random acts of kindness that inspire me to continue to “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” and stay the course! Our local community is the America that I love and support!
Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
It’s hard to believe that Thanksgiving is once again upon us and the holiday season is fast approaching. This time of year is a time to give thanks. With all that has happened, with all the senseless loss of life because of the pandemic, we are reminded in the midst of all of that how blessed we are.
Our human landscape has changed so dramatically this past year. However, it has reminded me even more profoundly that all life is sacred, all life is fragile and we need to be so much more attentive to each other. We need to focus on all the things that bring us together rather than the things that separate us. This holiday season should be about building new bridges and not new walls.
With the election season behind us, we have an opportunity to begin a new chapter in our American journey; an opportunity to reclaim our soul as a nation, heal our wounds, stand together and celebrate all that makes us great. We are a tenacious people, diverse but extremely talented and gifted.
In the midst of all this chaos, I have continually been humbled and inspired with the random acts of kindness and compassion from ordinary people in our neighborhoods. On their own initiative, countless student groups have done extraordinary things for the poor and homeless in our larger community. The doctors, nurses, first responders and all of the support staff in our hospitals have been courageous and heroic in their response to the virus. They are a living example of what commitment to public service and community is all about.
We have an incredible opportunity to stand in solidarity with each other and work to make a better tomorrow or we can feed the divisive rhetoric that has become infectious and remain complicit by our silence.
This Thanksgiving will be my 41st Thanksgiving in Port Jefferson. I am forever grateful for these past 41 years. I have seen a community of tremendous diversity and talent stand with each other through good times and bad, always looking to build upon the goodness and kindness in our midst. This experience has inspired me to stay the course and to do my best to help make our community a better place. Every day I see miracles of hope and transformation take place because of the collaborative spirit to reach out to the most vulnerable and broken among us.
As we celebrate the holiday season, no matter what our faith tradition, let this be a time for renewed hope, a time for compassion and renewed understanding, a time for realizing that each and every one of us, no matter where we’re from or what we do, have the power to make a difference that really does count.
May we all be blessed and renewed during the holiday season.
Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
School has just begun. In our county, we have a wide range of educational opportunities and experiences. Each school district is attempting to respond responsibly to all families and their children. That is a very complex and challenging dynamic because every school community is so vastly different.
It continues to amaze me that very simple and basic practices that are evidence-based are so complicated to embrace for a number of people in our midst. We have allowed our destructive political rhetoric to impair our common sense and basic efforts to support some very basic common-sense practices that protect all of us.
My college students both on campus and online are an inspiration. They are open and insightful. They are hungering to learn and genuinely make a positive contribution to our community that will make a profound difference in the future.
This pandemic is a powerful opportunity for us to draw closer together. It’s an opportunity to build new bridges of understanding and compassion. It’s an opportunity to challenge the bigotry and hatred that has become so infectious.
These are challenging times. We can look at these challenges as burdens that are burying us under or we can see them as opportunities for change and transformation. There are so many life lessons to be learned, if we have the courage to take the blinders off and listen.
We will never return to the life we once knew before the pandemic. However, we have an opportunity to create a new tomorrow that is rich with opportunity and possibility that can be life-giving, if we have the courage to live differently.
There are so many life lessons to be learned. This pandemic has brought families together. People are talking and connecting in ways that were never imagined. Many of us have had to rearrange our priorities. A growing number of people have become more other-centered than self-centered. I have witnessed countless random acts of kindness that have changed people’s lives.
It has been refreshing to listen to the next generation of leaders talk about making tomorrow’s America better and stronger, more inclusive and respectful; a place where diversity and difference are seen as a blessing and not a curse.
The America that my students speak about is an America filled with promise and opportunity for all, grounded in a respect for the dignity of every human person. It is an America that will not tolerate hateful rhetoric; that will respect people’s right to peacefully protest injustice and give voice to the voiceless. It is an America that empowers every citizen to dream dreams and believes those dreams can come true.
Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
Father Frank joined the Black Lives Matter protest on June 18. Photo by Drew Biondo
By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli
Father Frank Pizzarelli
The pandemic has changed the world as we know it forever. As we attempt to go back to a new normal, many of us will not look at life in the same way. Many families are closer. So many have reassessed what is important and who is important. The workplace has changed. School, colleges, universities will never be the same.
Hopefully these new challenges will empower us to become the best version of ourselves. It has been amazing driving through Port Jefferson Village and seeing so many families sitting on their porches and lawns actually talking and laughing with each other and not texting!
In an instant, we in college education went from in-class human contact to a virtual classroom. It’s a whole new experience, a whole different way of teaching and learning.
Life is dynamic. We need to be more flexible and more willing to adapt to change. Too often we get set in a pattern of doing and thinking that is not always life-giving.
In recent weeks the already challenging landscape became more toxic with the unfortunate and tragic loss of life at the hands of law enforcement. This social unrest has given birth to the Black Lives Matter Movement. This movement has spread across the country challenging all fair-minded people to think about systemic racism and discrimination.
On June 18, students from Stony Brook University organized a Black Lives Matters protest in Port Jefferson. We were almost 400 strong as we met at the Port Jefferson train station. We walked down Main Street to Village Hall. We were White, Black, Latino, Asian and Indian chanting and talking. When we reached Infant Jesus Church, we were asked to kneel. The silence was deafening.
What was amazing during those moments of silence were two small children standing in front of me hugging each other; one was black, the other was white. When they turned around and I could see their faces, they both had on t-shirts that said “All Life Matters.” As we continued to walk, I could not help but think about that statement. Blacks, browns, documented, undocumented, Asians, Indians, Native Americans, whites, gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people — they all matter.
This is a powerful moment in history. We need to confront systemic prejudice and discrimination everywhere. Most religions call us to a higher standard, but are equally guilty of discrimination, oppression and prejudice. Our schools and universities, law enforcement in almost every social entity that deals with people needs to step back and look at how they do what they do.
The social unrest confronting our nation is an opportunity for systemic change and reform across the spectrum of all human interactions; every system needs to be held accountable. No one should ever be above that standard.
When we arrived at Village Hall, the speakers thanked the police for their service and thanked all of us for standing together in solidarity. As I left, I did the same. I thanked each police officer for his or her service. I also realized that we need to see with different eyes; we need to hear and listen with different ears. As Gandhi said, we must “be the change that we wish to see in the world!”
Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
Barbara Morin shows off the shop's extensive handbag and shoe collection
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
Volunteers Pete Leska and Keith Connell
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
Barbara Morin shows off the shop's extensive handbag and shoe collection
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
Barbara Morin with one of the shop's curio cabinets
Volunteer Joan Cutillo
Volunteers Pete Leska and Barbara Morin
A sampling of Hope Springs Eternal merchandise
Team Hope Springs Eternal, from left, Charlie Russo, Art Morin, Roberta Odierna, Barbara Morin, Keith Connell, Jean Valente, Lenny Vecchio, Will Sikora, Ronan O’Brien and Rob McKeon. Not shown, Pete Leska and Joan Cutillo.
By Melissa Arnold
For the past 40 years, Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson has provided a safe haven of support and recovery for thousands of Long Islanders struggling with poverty, addiction, homelessness, family conflicts and more.
To founder Father Frank Pizzarelli, every passing year at Hope House is a miracle. He said that the non-profit receives no government or church support and runs entirely on the backs of volunteers, donors and some paid staff.
Among those volunteers is Barbara Morin, who’s been a part of the Hope House family since she moved to the area in 2003.
In November, Morin became the shopkeeper at Hope Springs Eternal Second Chance Boutique, a new venture that sells high-quality new and gently-used goods including fine crystal and china, glassware, furniture, handbags and name-brand clothing. All proceeds from sales at the shop will benefit Hope House Ministries.
“I knew that I wanted to get involved in the community and help give back to people in need, and so I started volunteering almost as soon as I got here,” Morin recalled.
She began to collect merchandise to sell seven years ago, and the response has always been positive in the community, which was eager to both donate and purchase.
“We started with yard sales and would make $1500 in an afternoon, and so that germinated an idea: What if we set up a place where we could sell goods all year long?” Pizzarelli said.
Using seed money raised from those yard sales, they were able to find a building with affordable rent in Port Jefferson Station. It was in terrible condition, Morin said, but with a lot of help from individuals going through rehab with Hope House, they were able to renovate and ready the space for business.
“No one is safe from the opioid epidemic. It’s not about their past and what they’ve been through — everyone has a story. We focus on how far they’ve come and where they’re going,” Morin said.
“We have all kinds of people walk through the doors [seeking treatment]. Tradesmen, electricians, artists, scholars — all of them have come together to help us make the shop a reality, from scrubbing and cleaning to carpeting and carpentry. They restored two bathrooms and a kitchen. We’ve gotten so attached to them all, and wouldn’t be where we are now without them.”
Running with five key volunteers and a few men in recovery, Hope Springs Eternal opened its doors on Nov. 15. The business did well, and by early March, Pizzarelli said they’d made $25,000 in sales.
But then begins a story that will sound familiar. As COVID-19 cases spread, Hope Springs began working on a limited schedule before shutting down completely on March 18.
Since then, Pizzarelli said Hope House has lost $1 million in revenue they would normally see from sales, donations and other events. While it’s a stressful time, he said that he’s much more concerned for the many people that depend on the ministry.
“In this community, we have people who are really struggling, both unemployed and working poor who are barely getting by,” Pizzarelli said. “We’ve been inundated with requests for counseling. Every night I go to bed with a heavy heart because I have people that call me who are ready to make a commitment to long-term recovery, but I have to put them on a waiting list. We have some people who have the access to technology for telecounseling, but not everyone does.”
Happily, things are slowly returning to normal. Employees and volunteers are coming back to Hope House as they feelcomfortable, and Hope Springs Eternal reopened for business the week of June 8.
“Everything happened gradually when we first opened back in the fall, and so we never really had a grand opening celebration. But it really feels like one now,” explained Morin. “We did $1,000 in sales in the first two days alone, and we made some new friends in the process.”
Pizzarelli said that he remains committed to serving the poorest of the poor in as many ways as he can, and is grateful for the continuing support of the surrounding communities.
“People have really stepped up with donations and financial support, even without solicitation, because they know how hard it is for everyone,” he said. “It means a great deal to me, and to all of us who are serving here.
Hope Springs Eternal Second Chance Boutique is located at 19 Chereb Lane in Port Jefferson Station
Hours of Operation: Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
▶ For information about donating and to view items for sale, visit www.hopespringseternalboutique.com or call 631-509-1101.
▶ Learn more about Hope House Ministries at www.hhm.org or by calling 631-928-2377.
Seniors from The Stony Brook School celebrated graduation last week with a car processional. Photo from The Stony Brook School
By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli
Father Frank Pizzarelli
A new day and a new way! The world as we know it is changed forever. Hopefully, as we slowly begin to embrace the new normal life, lessons learned will not be lost in the fragmented world.
Education on every level has changed. Time will tell if it’s for the better. Families have reclaimed and/or rediscovered the value of family life and being together. A new appreciation for the sacredness of life has emerged.
People seem to value human connecting on a whole different level, valuing intimacy over superficiality. Gratitude is much more present in big and small ways. People say thank you and express appreciation for the simple things people seem to take for granted.
This year our seniors will graduate from our high schools. Their graduation will be like no other. All the social trappings and traditions will be missing, but still we will profoundly celebrate their academic achievements. They will lead us tomorrow and hopefully change the world for the better.
During this pandemic, they have demonstrated heroic acts of kindness and compassion. They have done simple things that have made a profound difference in our community.
Seniors, as you graduate, continue to show compassion and understanding rooted in social justice. It is more important than any science formula or social platform. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending; teach love to those who only know hate; let that love embrace you as you continue in the world. It is the content and quality of your character that is important not merely the actions you take.
Don’t judge a book by its cover or stop at the introduction. Read it through, seeking meaning and value; everyone’s life is sacred; even those who are different from you or whom you do not like. Be more inclusive than exclusive. Don’t be blinded by those who tend to use shame, blame, and guilt to shackle people down and divide them. Set people free with your respect and nonjudgmental way.
Seniors, as you take leave, may your moral compass be grounded in integrity and respect for all human beings, no matter what their color, their race, their creed and/or their sexual orientation. May your moral compass guide you on a path that is committed to working for peace and social justice. As Gandhi once said, “be the change you hope for this world.”
Congratulations graduating class of 2020. Thanks for making our world a little richer, a little brighter and a little bit more hopeful place to be!
Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
