Village Beacon Record

Pixabay photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

Here are three of my most feared words: what’s your password? I understand that passwords were designed to keep out the unwelcome in any digital circumstance. Early passwords worked for ATM machines. After all, we didn’t want anyone else to be able to get our money, right?  OK, so that was four numbers that we could remember, certainly easier than committing our social security number to memory, for example.

Not any longer do we enjoy such brevity. Now we are asked to use eight or 10 numbers and letters, the combinations of which must contain capitals, lower case, numbers and some other vital symbol, like an asterisk or a dollar sign or an exclamation point. And we are admonished not to use the same password twice for fear of opening the gates to financial ruination. I would bet the fact is, though, that the only person kept at bay by the request for the password is the password holder who has forgotten the sacred assemblage of letters, numbers and pound signs.

Further, needing the password makes no sense since the frequently asked question, “Forgot your password? Press here to make another,” often allows anyone to bypass the gate anyway. All the intruder has to do is come up with a new password, and they are in.

Some passwords are useful. Certainly, we don’t want just anyone to access our banking records if we bank online. And if we pay for a service, like a subscription to a newspaper, we don’t want an undesignated person to share it. But some of the pass requirements are just plain stupid. Who else but me cares how many steps I walk per day? Or how much sleep I averaged over the past week?? Or how much I weigh? Almost as soon as I apply for an app, I have to select a password to use it, even though the app is free.

Passwords are just one irritant of the digital age, however. As long as I am voicing my frustrations, let’s consider telephones and what has become of what was a perfectly helpful way to enter in conversation with another human. Just try to call an airline or an insurance company and see how long you are put on hold. Sometimes they will tell you that the operator will be with you in 28 minutes and ask if you would like them to hold your place in line and call you back. That’s civilized. Or the automated voice will try to shove you off to their website. But you cannot ask questions of a home page beyond the couple of programmed Q&As posted there. 

When you finally get a person on the other end, after pressing any number of buttons, they will ask you to hold for the correct extension, which will ring and ring and finally disconnect you. Then you have to start all over.

I recognize that there is an attempt to have a paperless world. I understand that companies are feeling pressured financially and are trying to cut down on personnel. But does the world have to get there by driving us to distraction first? Some technology is actually helpful. Instead of a password, some apps ask for fingerprint ID. Once you register with your thumb or whichever finger you choose, you need only to present that finger in the future, and you are immediately admitted. Why isn’t that more commonly used to authenticate the user? Or ask a personal question as the price of admission only the user would be able to answer, like the name of your junior high school or your first pet’s name. Sometimes I am asked two or three questions like that, but only after I have already offered my password. And usually it’s my mother’s maiden name, which by itself used to work but no longer. Not complicated enough, I guess.

One friend figured she had solved the password problem by putting all her passwords into one file on her cellphone. Only trouble? She has forgotten the file’s password. 

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

As we reach the beginning of December, we are only a month away from the inevitable promises to shed unwanted pounds.

Today, however, only a few days after our journeys to visit friends and families for Thanksgiving, I’d like to urge you to consider shedding unwanted baggage.

Metaphorically, we all lug unwanted baggage with us — remembering the spot where a girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with us; the moment we decided to substitute the wrong player in a game we were coaching; and the time our teacher gave someone else partial credit for the same answer on which we received no credit.

Some of that baggage is constructive, giving us the tools and the memory to learn from our mistakes and to have a perspective on the things that happen to us.

We might, for example, learn to cope with losses on the athletic field more gracefully when recalling how we felt the time we shouted at a coach, an umpire or an opposing player. Days, weeks, or years later, we might realize that we have the tools and the distance to understand the moment better and to develop a grace we might not have possessed when we were younger.

Extending the baggage metaphor, it seems that the more we carry with us everywhere, the harder it is to move forward. Baggage, like those unwanted pounds that make it harder to hike up a hill or to climb stairs, keeps us in place, preventing us from improving and moving forward.

Shedding pounds, which isn’t so easy itself, has a prescribed collection of patterns, often involving an attention to the foods we might mindlessly eat and a dedication to exercise.

But how do we get rid of the emotional baggage that gets in our way? What do we do to move forward when the burdens around us weigh us down?

For starters, we might learn to forgive people for whatever they did that annoys or puts us down. Forgiveness isn’t easy, of course. We sometimes hold onto those slights as if they are a part of our identity, becoming a doctor to show our biology teacher who didn’t believe in us that we are capable and competent or developing into a trained athlete after a neighbor insulted us.

Holding onto those insults gives other people unnecessary power over us. We can and should set and achieve our goals because of what we want and not because we continue to overcome limits other people tried to set for us.

We also might feel weighed down by our own self-doubt. As I’ve told my children, their peers and many of their teammates, we shouldn’t help our competitors beat us. Believing the best about ourselves is difficult.

We also don’t, and won’t, always win. It’s easier to carry the memories of the times we failed a test or when we didn’t reach the top of the mountain on a hike. Carrying those setbacks around with us for anything other than motivation to try again or to go further than we did before makes it harder to succeed.

Now is the time to set down that baggage, to walk, jog or even run forward, unencumbered by everything that might make us doubt ourselves and our abilities and that might make it harder to achieve our goals. While all that baggage might feel familiar in our hands, it also digs into our palms, twists our fingers and slows our feet.

Even before we resolve to eat better, to exercise, to lose weight and to look our best, let’s check or even cast aside our emotional and psychological luggage. Maybe dropping that baggage in the last month of the year will make achieving and keeping our New Year’s resolutions that much easier.

Rocky Point High School principal Jonathan Hart, senior Vivian Dorr and music teacher Amy Schecher. Photo courtesy RPSD

Rocky Point High School senior Vivian Dorr was selected for the 2023 National Association for Music Education All-Eastern Honor Band. 

In April, Vivian will have the opportunity to rehearse and perform with students from NAfME’s Eastern Division, including New England and Northeastern states, Washington, D.C., and Europe. The All-Eastern rehearsals and performances will take place from Apr. 13-16, 2023. 

“This is an incredible accomplishment,” music teacher Amy Schecher said. “Vivian is a very talented young trombonist and an excellent student. She continues to impress me with her dedication to her academics, music and athletics.”

Center Moriches sputtered against the swarming defense of Shoreham-Wading River during a non-league basketball game on Monday, Nov. 28.

The Wildcats took a 14-point lead by halftime. Seniors Sophie Costello topped the scoring chart for the Wildcats with 17 points, GraceAnn Leonard banked 13 and Colleen Ohrtman netted 8 in the 50-31 home victory. 

The Wildcats notched their second win in as many games with three more non-league contests to go. They’ll face Sachem East, Newfield and William Floyd before league play begins. 

The Wildcats open their league season on Tuesday, Dec. 13, when they host Hampton Bays at 4:30 p.m.

— Photos by Bill Landon

Heritage Park in Mount Sinai will host a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on Dec. 4 this year. File photo by Kyle Barr/TBR News Media

By Heidi Sutton

The Shoppes at East Wind in Wading River will hold a Holiday Tree Lighting on Dec. 3.

While a few villages and towns lit their holiday trees last week, the majority of tree lightings on the North Shore will take place this weekend and next weekend with caroling, treats and a special visit from Santa Claus. 

Cold Spring Harbor

The Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery, 1660 Route 25A, Cold Spring Harbor will host a tree lighting ceremony on Dec. 3 from 5 to 7 p.m. Santa Claus will light the hatchery’s Christmas Tree at 5:30 p.m. Free admission after 5 p.m. Suggested donation of $10 per family. 516- 692-6768.

Coram

The Coram Civic Association will present its 13th annual Holiday Festival and Christmas Tree Lighting at the Old Coram Firehouse, 303 Middle Country Rd, Coram on Dec. 4 at 3 p.m. with refreshments, crafts, entertainment, and songs by the Coram Elementary School singers, raffles, a visit from Santa and tours of the historic Davis Town Meeting House. 631-736-3168

Flanders – just added

The 34th annual Holiday Lighting of the Big Duck, 1012 Route 24, Flanders will be held on Dec. 1 from 7 to 9 p.m. (rescheduled from Nov. 30) The event features a visit from Quackerjack, the Long Island Ducks baseball team mascot, duck carols led by students from the Riverhead Middle School Show Choir, refreshments and the ever-anticipated arrival of Santa Claus by fire truck. 631-852-3377

Greenlawn

The Greenlawn Civic Association hosts a “Meet at the Tree” Christmas Tree Lighting on Dec. 3 from 3:30 to 5 p.m. at the Harborfields Public Library, 31 Broadway, Greenlawn. Enjoy hot cocoa, cookies, dance performances, a Christmas carol sing-along plus a special visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus on the Greenlawn Fire Dept. truck. Bring your letters to Santa for the North Pole mailbox. www.greenlawncivic.org.

Holtsville

The Town of Brookhaven’ will hold its annual Christmas Tree Lighting event at the Holtsville Ecology Site, 249 Buckley Road, Holtsville on Dec. 2 at 6 p.m. with costumed characters, musical entertainment, and a special appearance by Santa Claus, who will arrive via helicopter, and then assist with the countdown to light the tree. 631-451-9276.

Kings Park

The Kings Park Chamber of Commerce hosts a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony at Veterans Plaza, King Park on Dec. 3 at 4 p.m. Enjoy holiday music selections followed by invocation and welcome remarks from the chamber with hot chocolate and cookies. Held rain or shine. 631-269-7678

Lake Ronkonkoma

Join the Ronkonkoma Chamber of Commerce at Raynor Park, 174 Ronkonkoma Ave., Lake Ronkonkoma on Dec. 4 for their annual Christmas Tree Lighting from 1 to 3:30 p.m. Enjoy live entertainment by the Cherokee Street and Nokomis Elementary School Choirs and a visit from Santa. 631-963-2796

Miller Place – just added

— The Miller Place Fire Department and Aliano Real Estate will host the 14th annual Polar Express and Tree Lighting in the Aliano Shopping Center, 691 Route 25A, Miller Place on Dec. 10 at 7 p.m. with complimentary coffee, hot chocolate, donuts, soup and pizza; entertainment by Miller Place School and Dance Pointe Performing Arts Center students; and a special visit from Santa! Call 744-5000.

—The Miller Place-Mount Sinai Historical Society will hold its annual Tree Lighting and Holiday Festival at the Daniel Hawkins House, 111 North Country Road, Miller Place on Dec. 11 at 5 p.m. 631-476-5742.

Mount Sinai

Join the North Shore Youth Council and the Mount Sinai Fire Department for a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony at Heritage Park, 633 Mount Sinai-Coram Road, Mount Sinai on Dec. 4 at 5 p.m. Listen to carols, enjoy hot chocolate and visit with Santa. 631-509-0882

Nesconset

The Nesconset Chamber of Commerce will hold a Holiday Lighting at the Nesconset Gazebo on Smithtown Blvd., Nesconset on Dec. 4 at 3 p.m. with music, refreshments and a visit from Santa Claus. 631-724-2543

Port Jefferson – just added

The Port Jefferson Business Improvement District will host the 1st annual Christmas Tree Lighting at the intersection of Broadway and East Broadway on Dec 1 at 6 p.m. (rescheduled from Nov. 30) Watch Santa light the Christmas Tree and enjoy candy canes and hot chocolate courtesy of Port Jefferson Starbucks.  631-473-1414

Port Jefferson Station – rescheduled

Join the Port Jefferson Station-Terryville Chamber of Commerce for a Community Tree Lighting at the Chamber Car, corner of Nesconset Highway and Route 112, Port Jefferson Station on Dec. 8 (rescheduled from Dec. 3) from 6 to 8 p.m. with performances by School of Rock and BackStage Dance Studio. Hot chocolate will be served. 631-821-1313

Rocky Point

The 38th annual Rocky Point Christmas Tree Lighting will be held on Dec. 3 at 6 p.m. at the corner of Broadway and Prince Road, Rocky Point with live holiday music, hot chocolate and candy canes and a special visit from Santa. 631-729-0699

St. James

The St. James Chamber of Commerce invites the community to a Christmas Tree Lighting celebration at Deepwells Farm County Park, 2 Taylor Lane, St. James on Dec. 3 at 4 p.m. with holiday music, kids crafts, pictures with Santa, cookies and hot chocolate. 631-584-8510

Shoreham

Tesla Science Center at Wardenclyffe, 5 Randall Road, Shoreham invites the community to a Holiday Lighting on Dec. 3 from 3 to 6 p.m. Enjoy music, festive exhibits and activities for all ages with a special visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus. Register for your free tickets at www.teslasciencecenter.org.

Smithtown

— Rescheduled from Nov. 30. Smithtown Town Hall, 99 West Main St., Smithtown will hold a Tree Lighting Ceremony on Dec. 1 at 5 p.m. with live music, balloon sculpting, cookies and hot chocolate. 631-360-7512

Smithtown Library, 1 North Country Road, Smithtown will light their holiday tree on Dec. 2 from 6 to 7:30 p.m. with refreshments and photos with Santa. 631-360-2480.

Stony Brook

The Ward Melville Heritage Organization hosts a Holiday Tree Lighting at the Stony Brook Village Center Green, 111 Main St., Stony Brook on Dec. 4 at 5:30 p.m. as part of the WMHO’s 42nd annual Holiday Festival. 631-751-2244.

Wading River

Join The Shoppes at East Wind, 5768 Route 25A, Wading River for its 6th annual Holiday Tree Lighting on Dec. 3 from 4 to 8 p.m. Stop by to put a letter in Santa’s mailbox, enjoy live DJ Entertainment with LI Sound DJ and dancing, ride Rudolph on the carousel Stop by to put a letter in Santa’s mailbox, enjoy music and dancing, and more. Santa arrives on a Fire Truck to light the tree and take free photo with families. Santa will also be at the Shoppes on Dec. 10 and 17 from noon to 5 p.m. 631-929-3500

Photo from Hallockville Museum Farm

Experience old-fashioned North Fork holiday traditions during the Historic Christmas event at Hallockville Museum Farm, 6038 Sound Ave., Riverhead on Sunday, December 4 from noon to 3:30 p.m. Holiday displays in three historic residences on the 28-acre preserved farm will be staffed by costumed docents welcoming guests and sharing stories of past holiday celebrations. Historic Christmas at Hallockville is free and open to the public as the Museum Farm’s holiday gift to the community.

The Hallock Homestead, a mid-eighteenth-century structure listed on the National Register of Historic Places, will be decorated for a Victorian Christmas. Visitors may tour the residence while enjoying the aromas of holiday treats being baked in an antique wood stove as they learn how Christmas came to the North Fork primarily as a secular celebration.

At the Cichanowicz Farmhouse, guests will enjoy a Christmas Eve celebration as it would have been experienced by Polish immigrants to the North Fork in the 1930s, when the house was built. In Polish culture, Christmas Eve is a major holiday, highlighted by a special dinner, gift-giving and other traditions.

The Hudson-Sydlowski House will feature a display of dollhouses from the museum’s collection decked-out for the holidays. The exhibit will also include a two Victorian dollhouses loaned by Bonnie Zulli as well as a Christmas dollhouse, a miniature farmstand and several room vitrines loaned by Jeff Hallock and Debbie Bowen created by their parents, Norman and Joan Hallock.

For further information, call 631-29805292 or visit www.hallockville.org.

Special election to be held Tuesday, Jan. 17, following former Town Clerk Donna Lent's retirement

Photo from Di Santo's Facebook page

The following is a press release from the Brookhaven Town Democratic Committee:

The Brookhaven Town Democratic Committee has selected Lisa Di Santo, of East Patchogue, as the party’s candidate for Brookhaven Town Clerk. 

Former Town Clerk Donna Lent (I) vacated her seat earlier this month, triggering a special election to be held Jan. 17. [See story, “Brookhaven’s town clerk retires from public service.“] 

Di Santo was selected unanimously during a telephonic convention of the Suffolk County Democratic Committee on Friday, Nov. 25. 

Di Santo will face off against Town of Brookhaven Councilman Kevin LaValle (R-Selden), the Brookhaven Republican Committee’s nominee.

“To be given the chance to be our next town clerk is nothing short of humbling, and I will give this opportunity nothing less than my very best,” Di Santo said.

Hundreds of courageous community members plunged into the icy waters of Cedar Beach on Saturday, Nov. 19, during this year’s rendition of the Freezin’ for a Reason Polar Plunge.

The Town of Brookhaven puts this annual event together to raise money for the Special Olympics New York organization. Proceeds from the event support training for athletes, equipment, health supplies and attire. 

Saturday’s event has raised over $128,000, according to the nonprofit’s website which proclaims that it “provides inclusive opportunities for people with intellectual disabilities to discover and unleash the champion within.” 

Hundreds of plungers from across the region participated in the plunge, with many more spectating warmly from afar. Town of Brookhaven Councilwoman Jane Bonner (R-Rocky Point), a perennial “plunger,” made the daring plunge again.

In an interview with Bonner, she was asked what motivates her to take the cold water dip year after year. Her response, jokingly: “We ask ourselves that every year,” she said.

Bonner, who took the plunge this year with Special Olympians Daniel and Joey, said she finds renewed joy and optimism through her involvement in the activities. 

“When you meet all those Special Olympians and interview them … it’s impossible not to get caught up in the adrenaline and momentum of supporting them and other athletes,” she said. “It’s about $400 to $500 per athlete per sport, and no family is ever charged,” adding, “These plunges … help out so many athletes and families.”

Plunging with Bonner was Suffolk County District Attorney Ray Tierney (R). Before making his plunge, the district attorney expressed some apprehensions, joking, “Unlike Jane and the rest, I am a coward so I’m trying to figure out what brought me to this stage.”

Despite his self-professed reluctance, Tierney did take the plunge. Brookhaven Town Supervisor Ed Romaine (R), on the other hand, also made an appearance though avoiding the frigid waters. 

During a speech, the town supervisor described the plunge as a meaningful sacrifice in serving the greater good. “At the end of the day, you may be a little cold, but this world is going to be a lot happier for what the people are going to do plunging today,” he said.

This year’s polar plunge brought together hundreds of athletes, students and community members who suffered in unity. Bonner said an event such as this makes the community a better place.

“Regardless of political affiliation, color, economic status — there’s no barrier,” the town councilwoman said. “We’re all doing this same thing for the same cause, and it’s hard not to feel good about it at the end of the day.”

— Photos by Raymond Janis 

Shop local! METRO photo

After tackling the Black Friday frenzy at local malls and major department stores, the Saturday after Thanksgiving is set aside for our small businesses.

For over a decade, holiday shoppers have taken part in Small Business Saturday, an initiative created by American Express and the nonprofit National Trust for Historic Preservation in the midst of a recession.

The annual event is an excellent opportunity to patronize mom-and-pop stores in our towns and villages. Many of these places provide personal services that consumers can’t find at larger retailers or by shopping online, such as exceptional customer service and wrapping gifts.

When shoppers support a neighborhood store, they are also helping the surrounding community. Many small business owners sponsor local sports teams or events. Those same owners also pay sales taxes to local municipalities, involving dollars going back into nearby public schools, parks, roads and so much more.

The multiplier effect of small businesses creates more jobs in our communities, too. With many mom-and-pops suffering from the aftereffects of pandemic shutdowns, shoppers at local businesses play a part in keeping small brick-and-mortar stores open and people employed.

We know with lingering COVID-19 concerns, it can be overwhelming for some to step into a store sometimes. Many have become accustomed to ordering online, but if you can’t get out or don’t want to, many local businesses have websites or social media pages where buyers can purchase goods online. 

There are also quiet weekdays to stop by a local store and check out their unique items. Shopping small doesn’t have to be restricted to one day out of the year.

After a long day of shopping, remember small businesses aren’t limited to clothing or gift stores, either. Get a bite to eat or a drink at a restaurant or bar in town. Buy a gift certificate to your favorite Friday night spot for a friend or family member. Or maybe someone waiting at home would appreciate flowers from the local florist. Have a loved one who loves yoga, dancing or self-defense classes? Many schools and gyms offer gift certificates, and it’s an easy way for people to try out a business before committing to it.

Most of all, frequenting small businesses creates a stronger sense of community. The last few years have been difficult for many, and the support of others, especially neighbors, can make a huge difference in someone’s life and livelihood.

It is time that we think about the big picture. If we fail to support our local small businesses, then we will soon be left with vacant storefronts. Blighted downtowns can affect property values and diminish the quality and character of our community.

This Saturday, remember to patronize your local mom-and-pops. It may seem like a small gesture, but it can make a big difference for our community.