We recognize and register the temperature as soon as we leave our climate controlled house, car or office and step foot outside.
Cold, windy air might cause us to raise our shoulders, protecting our necks the way frightened turtles might pull back towards the shell when they sense a threat.
We have developed a real feel temperature or a “it feels like” temperature. Yes, it’s 28 degrees, but it feels like 12, which, to some, is more like negative 20.
How people experience temperature varies widely. An 85 degree day, with bright sunshine, could make one person feel as if he’s ready to conquer the world and is absorbing the sun’s energy.
Another person, say me, for example, might step out into that same temperature and instinctively search for shade, an air conditioner or a place near the water.
Many of us have friends, coworkers, spouses, children or roommates who prefer temperatures that are diametrically opposed to our own heat or cold sensitivity.
If my house were, say, 66 degrees, I would likely feel comfortable, while my wife would probably come into my home office wearing a sweater, gloves and a frown.
Taking out the financial part of the equation, people can and often do battle for control of the thermostat.
Differences between the sexes can explain some of this temperature disconnect.
Beyond describing the different cultures, expectations, communications and score keeping between men and women, the metaphor from the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” also might aptly capture the temperature differences, as Venus, with its gaseous carbon dioxide atmosphere, is the hottest planet and Mars is the fourth hottest. Neptune, incidentally, is the coldest.
While the gender generalization may apply in some cases, that’s never been my family’s reality. My daughter and I tend to run hotter, while my wife and son are cooler and prefer some heat as a counterbalance.
During the extremes of either season, half of the family is comfortable while the other half is either looking to dive into a pool of ice water or is eager to sit with a book near a roaring fire.
Many years ago, my wife and I attended a spectacularly hot college reunion. Well, it was incredibly hot for me. My wife left my side for a moment and returned with some ice cubes. She dumped them down my back and was shocked when I didn’t arch my back or pull my shirt out of my waist to dump the ice on the floor. The ice provided welcome relief.
The moderate middle tends to keep the family happy, as no one is complaining about uncomfortable extremes.
Given temperature sensitivities in our house, we all tend to be closest to our temperature best in the fall and spring.
Of course, as with everything else in life, different stages bring different temperature sensitivities.
When my wife was pregnant with each of our children, her body ran much hotter. We took winter walks that would have been almost inconceivable, so to speak, before we conceived.
The passage of decades, however, has changed how I experience temperature. I have become much more comfortable sitting in a warm baseball stadium and am not so tough when confronted with single digit temperatures.
To be sure, I’m still not able to wallow in a jacuzzi or an unusually hot pool for any length of time without feeling as if my skin is starting to boil.
Recognizing that what constitutes comfortable temperatures varies, I wonder why people so often imagine hell as a place with fire and brimstone.
The poet Robert Service wrote a wonderful and lengthy poem about Sam McGee, which a bus driver recited from memory when my wife and I took a trip to Alaska. With beluga whales we could see surfacing in the distance as we drove along the coast, she shared “The Cremation of Sam McGee” about someone who left Tennessee to search for gold in the Arctic only to discover that the cold was much easier to find than gold.
Sam is so spectacularly cold that he delights in the idea of being cremated when he inevitably dies.
For Sam, and perhaps many others, heat might be far preferable to a frigid afterlife.
What happens when opposites attract? Are those the most successful marriages? It is sometimes said that we subconsciously supply missing strengths to our partners when we select a mate. Do we really? Or is it just chemistry? Or possibly both?
We all know different couples and can notice who brings what to each pair. But of course, we don’t truly know about any marriage except our own, and to some extent, that of our parents.
Speaking for my own marriage, I can attest to the fact that differences make for an interesting life. The first example that comes to mind was our view toward vacations. Here is a typical scenario.
He: “Let’s go on vacation next month.”
She: “Oh, I couldn’t leave work next month. We have two new supplements due and not enough staff to finish them.”
He: “You always say that.”
She: “Besides, where would we go?”
He: “How about white water canoeing in the Adirondacks?”
She: “With the children?”
He: “Yes. We can all learn how to canoe. And we can bring the dog.”
She: “How would that work?”
He: Pulling out from his inner suit jacket pocket an envelope stuffed with tickets, “I have reservations for a cabin, four canoes and an instructor for five days.”
You probably guessed. We went. We had a wonderful time. My mother and sister came too, which was critical since our third son was too young to join us on the water. He had a good time back at the cabin, and we did indeed learn how to white water canoe, although I have probably forgotten by now.
I also thrived on the break in my work routine, and the competent staff back at the office handled the workload just fine.
Since my husband died, I have had to set a date deliberately for each vacation, and it’s a fight I have with myself because I don’t think I should leave the office. But I also know that I will function much better if I take a rest, and thanks to him, I have become a big believer in the restorative power of vacations.
So what did I bring to the relationship?
Here is another true life adventure story. The children were a bit older, and we were going to learn to ski in Vermont.
He: “I’ll do some research and make the reservations.”
She: “OK, I’ll pack.”
We got a late start and didn’t arrive at the motel until well after dark. Exhausted, we fellasleep despite uncomfortable beds. The morning light revealed an unmanageable scene. The five of us, along with our suitcases, boots, heavy ski pants, sweaters and jackets, hats and gloves, could barely fit into the room. I had brought a toaster oven with the thought of making Eggos for breakfast and then getting an early start on the slopes. When I plugged it in, a fuse blew with a nasty zap. The bathroom left a great deal to be desired and there were no closets.
She: “Why did you select this motel? Are we near the lifts?”
He: “It was the most reasonable one. The slopes are only ten miles away.”
She: “C’mon kids, pack up. We are going to find another place to stay.”
And we did. It was more expensive, a half a mile from the entrance, and we did become a skiing family. It was also a bit of a turning point. My husband and I agreed that henceforth, we would spend enough money to be comfortable on our two weeks of annual vacation, and upon our return home, we would resume our normally frugal lives.
After that, even our children noticed the difference.
Many puppies including Gia will be up for adoption at the fundraiser on Feb. 14. Photo courtesy of Dori Scofield
Many puppies including Bunny will be up for adoption at the fundraiser on Feb. 14. Photo courtesy of Dori Scofield
Many puppies will be up for adoption at the fundraiser on Feb. 14. Photo courtesy of Dori Scofield
Many puppies will be up for adoption at the fundraiser on Feb. 14. Photo courtesy of Dori Scofield
Many puppies will be up for adoption at the fundraiser on Feb. 14. Photo courtesy of Dori Scofield
By Julianne Mosher
Who needs a box of chocolates when you can adopt a puppy this Valentine’s Day?
Save-A-Pet Animal Shelter will be hosting its first annual Valentine’s Day Yappy Hour on Feb. 14 from 5 to 7 p.m. at its Port Jefferson Station location for a special holiday fundraiser.
According to Dori Scofield, president of Save a Pet, the Yappy Hour will feature wine, charcuterie boards and desserts inside the adoption center, which they are transforming into a romantic setting for a purr-fect night out.
“We’ll have tables set up with candlelight and roses for the women,” she said. “It’s going to be a really fun night.”
Proceeds from the event will go towards helping dogs who need orthopedic surgeries, including Teddy, above. Photo courtesy of Dori Scofield
Just this month, the shelter, which is already home to several dozen cats and dogs up for adoption, received 30 puppies from Georgia and Puerto Rico.
“The shelters there are just too overcrowded,” said Scofield.
Those little loves, who will be joining you for your date night roaming the room, are up for adoption and the $25 ticket price will come off the adoption fee, Scofield added.
Proceeds from the event will go to continue support for the adoption center and also help care for three special cases; dogs who need orthopedic surgeries. One dog, Teddy, who is not for adoption, was unfortunately hit by a car and thanks to his latest procedure will be at Yappy Hour sporting his new cast and overseeing the night’s schedule.
If you’re looking for a lovable cat or dog who might be a little older, all the other animals available will be adoptable, too.
Those animals come from all different situations, Scofield said. “We have strays, animals who were abandoned, left in the woods, left in the streets… abandoned, abused and neglected.”
And you won’t need Cupid to shoot an arrow through your heart to fall in love with one of them.
Save-A-Pet, 608 Route 112, Port Jefferson Station will hold a Valentine’s Day Yappy Hour on Feb. 14 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. Tickets are $25 per person. For reservations, visit www.saveapetusa.org. 631-473-6333.
Governor Kathy Hochul recently announced her intention to ban cell phones during the school day. The state-wide initiative became more palpable when Hochul announced the 2025 budget plan, and she set aside $13.5 million in state funding to make it a reality.
Hochul’s announcement occurs during an international trend of banning cell phones in schools. Countries like Brazil and Italy have passed legislation restricting phone use in schools to varying degrees; now, it is New York’s turn. The ban would prevent phone use throughout the entire school day rather than just in the classroom.
One of the main arguments against the ban is parents’ fear that their children won’t be able to contact them in an emergency. Hochul’s report, published on her website, does not close off the possibility of allowing students access in extenuating situations. The scope of the ban is undefined, and seems to allow room for school modification. For instance, Hochul’s report does not wholly eliminate the use of devices for educational purposes, stating exceptions for, as an example, English-language learners who need the device to help translate.
In many schools across the Island, including the Three Village School District where cell phones are banned except for during lunch periods in the middle and high schools, cell phone use is already restricted.
The COVID-19 pandemic seemed to increase technology’s hold on the attention of students, serving as both their social lifeline and surrogate classroom, and now, back in the classroom, educators are observing the effects through decreased attention. Over 70% of teachers say that cellphones are distracting and problematic, according to Pew Research Center.
Even the mere knowledge that their device is close by, either in their bag or on their desk, can distract students from absorbing information, diminishing retention and memory. In addition, phones can serve as a social crutch, keeping students from truly connecting with their classmates.
The advantages of having a cellphone in school are numerous, including seamless communication in emergencies and access to educational services such as Flip grid and Kahoot, but given the many adverse effects on concentration, mental-health, memory and sociability, a ban seems favorable. The ban would begin at the start of the 2025-2026 school year. It brings to light issues that we should take into consideration, adults and students alike.
Some adults complain of issues retaining information. Could cellphone-use be the culprit, sitting in our peripheral visionand serving as a distraction as we try to read a book or get some work done? Research has shown it has.
Great news for all Harry Potter fans! Fathom Events and Warner Bros. Discovery are partnering to bring back the first four films of the quintessential fan favorite Harry Potter film series to select theatres nationwide this February.
Harry with his pet owl Hedwig in a scene from ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.’ Photo courtesy of Fathom Events
The Harry Potter film series will be the first series highlighted in Fathom Fan Favorites, a new theatrical series that will feature films from iconic franchises.
For more than 20 years, the world has been captivated by the magic of the Harry Potter stories from J.K. Rowling and starting February 13, moviegoers will be able to relive, or experience for the first time, the first four films in the wizarding saga on the big screen.
Additionally, starting February 27, fans will be able to experience the films from the series in 4DX motion seats to get the feeling they are in attendance at Hogwarts alongside the Golden Trio.
Also for the first time in the United States, the UK version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, named Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, will be presented in 3D and will give fans the chance to see some never-before-seen moments.
Each screening will also include an exclusive introduction by cinema legend Leonard Maltin, sharing unique insights for each film. The complete schedule for the “Fathom Fan Favorites: Harry Potter” series is as follows:
— Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone onFeb. 13 , Feb. 20 and Feb. 27
— Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (UK version) on Feb. 13, Feb. 20 and Feb. 27 in 3D
— Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on Feb. 14, Feb. 21 and Feb. 28
— Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on Feb. 15, Feb. 22 and March 1
— Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 20th Anniversary on Feb.16, Feb. 23 and March 2.
Locally, the films will be screened at AMC Loews Stony Brook 17, Island 16 Cinema de lux in Holtsville, AMC Huntington Square 12 in East Northport, Showcase Cinema de lux in Farmingdale, and Regal Cinemas in Deer Park. Tickets are available at www.fathomevents.com or at participating theatre box offices.
Valentine’s Day often sparks the age-old debate about whether love at first sight is real or just a romantic notion. Some people swear by it, claiming that an instant connection or an inexplicable bond can form in the blink of an eye. For them, it’s more than just attraction — it’s a deep, immediate understanding or a shared energy that can’t be ignored. Others, however, argue that love is something that builds over time, shaped by experiences, conversations and vulnerability. They believe that true love cannot be rushed, and that the initial spark is often mistaken for infatuation or chemistry.
TBR News Media recently asked Long Islanders what they thought about love at first sight.
Lisa Goldfeder
Lisa Goldfeder from Babylon
“I don’t believe in love at first sight. You have to get to know someone first, spend time with them, be friends, then the love will come. People who say they believe in love at first sight are more like infatuated to me.”
Lonnie Goldfeder
Lonnie Goldfeder from Babylon
“I believe you can fall in love when you first meet someone. You have that feeling that they’re ‘the one’ and everything else follows.”
Frank Borrero
Frank Borrero from Huntington
“I believe in love at first sight, but not the kind of love that lasts forever. I love women, so every woman I meet is love at first sight to me. A pair and a spare is my motto.”
Neil Clay
Neil Clay from Stony Brook
“I believe in love at first sight. It’s how I met my wife. We both went outside to throw our garbage in the dumpster and I knew from that minute I met my soulmate.”
Lucia Trowe
Lucia Trowe from Huntington
“I definitely think you can fall in love with someone when you first meet them. My husband told me seconds after we met that he loved me and asked me to marry him. We were married 40 years.”
Michael Joseph
Michael Joseph from Huntington
“I don’t believe in love at first sight unless you’re picking a dog. How can you know you love someone from a chance meeting or look?”
A dress made of TBR News Media newspapers is displayed in the window of Chocology in Stony Brook. Customers and Stony Brook University students played a role in creating the dress. This dress is part of Chocology’s Valentine’s collection.
“We want to capture the essence of each holiday through a unique chocolate-inspired creation,” said Linda Johnson, founder of Chocology. “I was especially inspired by the TBR 2024 People of the Year, which stands out as a celebration of creativity and community.”
The Terryville Fire Department was called to extinguish a USPS mail truck that became engulfed in flames in Terryville on Feb. 8 at approximately 11:30 a.m. The fire, which was due to an electrical issue, broke out on Terryville Road near Tulip Drive.
Crews from Engine 12 quickly extinguished the fire, while Engine 2 and Rescue 24 provided additional support.
PJ Country Club prior to collapse of gazebo and edge of tennis courts, undated photograph. Courtesy of PJ Village website
Phase 1 of the East Beach Bluff Stabilization was the first part of a $10 million initiative aimed at arresting bluff erosion and preventing the Village of Port Jefferson-owned country club from sliding down the slope.
This first phase of the project was completed in June 2023. By any official accounts of the time, Phase 1 was a success. But within months of completion a series of storms in late 2023 and early 2024 damaged the site, undoing costly work, setting back progress and hampering the goals of the project.
According to the May 2024 Bluff Monitoring Report covering the period from September 2023 to February 2024, conducted by GEI Consultants of Huntington Station (the engineering firm that designed Phase 1), the village had not implemented recommended repairs, increasing the risk of more complicated and expensive upkeep and repair in the future.
The report stated that “no maintenance or repairs to date were undertaken by the village following the storms,” further suggesting that the village implements “necessary repair to the project as soon as possible.”
The report’s findings have raised questions among residents and officials about the long-term viability of the stabilization efforts and financial resources needed for continued upkeep and repairs.
TBR News Media reviewed GEI’s 2024 Bluff Monitoring Report — required under the Department of Environmental Conservation permit for Phase 1 — and spoke to experts, village officials and residents, exploring the report’s recommendations and the obstacles confronting the village in completing its requirements.
Costs of phases 1 and 2
At the completion of Phase 1, a 358-foot wall of steel and cement was constructed at the base of a steep bluff, about 100-feet-tall, situated on East Beach, facing north toward the Long Island Sound.
As part of the project, the severely eroded bluff face — scoured and denuded by years of storms — underwent restoration. Native vegetation was planted and secured with eight rows of timber terraces, and coir logs (interwoven coconut fibers) at the lower section and, toward the crest, with burlap netting.
The total cost of the Phase 1 project according to village treasurer, Stephen Gaffga, is “$6,024,443 million, of which $677,791 is related to design/engineering/permitting/ surveying, and $5,346,652 was spent on construction.”
At the crest of the bluff, approximately 30 feet beyond the precipice, sits the country club. Phase 2 involves the installation of a 545-foot long, 47-foot-deep steel barrier driven into the bluff’s crest, just a few feet seaward of the country club. The barrier is designed to stabilize the area landward of the bluff and prevent erosion, further reducing the risk of the building collapsing.
The cost of Phase 2 will be partially funded by federal taxpayer dollars as a $3.75 million FEMA grant, the final approval recently completed this past week, allowing for the village to receive bids for the work in the coming months for the construction of the upper wall. Local taxpayer dollars will fund the remaining Phase 2 expenses.
According to Gaffga, the Phase 2 “complete expenses are yet to be determined,” he explained in an email. The total cost will be better understood once the village receives bids for constructing the upper wall
The stabilization project, since its inception in 2017 has been presented by village officials as an urgent necessity. With this imperative in mind, the trustees approved a $10 million bond resolution, without a community referendum, in 2021 to fund the project’s two phases.
In a January 2023 statement by former Mayor Garant, after permitting and plans had been finalized, she warned, “If immediate measures to combat and stop the erosion are not implemented, the building foundation will get exposed, will lose structural support, and slowly but surely will fail — causing significant structural damage first, followed by complete collapse of the [country club] building.”
2024 GEI report findings
Heavy rainstorms swept across Long Island in the early fall of 2023, beginning with Hurricane Lee on Sept. 12 followed by another severe storm on Sept. 23.
According to the GEI report, these storms caused “post-storm stress” to the new vegetation leading to plant die off, shifting sands and forming a small ravine — also referred to as a gully — past the western edge of the wall at the base of the bluff.
To prevent further damage, GEI recommended that the village “replant beachgrass in stressed areas of the bluff face and protect the western edge of the wall by adding a filter fabric and stone.”
Photograph of East Beach Bluff Phase 1 taken as part of the GEI post-storm inspection after Hurricane Lee on Sept. 12, 2023. Courtesy of PJ Village website
However, two additional major storms in December 2023 and February 2024 brought strong winds and heavy rainfall expanding the damage started in September. A GEI post-storm inspection in the days following the storms found that a large ravine had formed on the eastern edge of the bluff face, further damaging the vegetation, matting and terracing within the ravine.
Photograph taken as part of the GEI inspection report Feb. 22, 2024 showing extensive damage to the bluff in the vicinity of stressed growth identified in September 2023. Courtesy of PJ Village website
In total, the May 2024 report outlined detailed recommendations involving improved drainage, repairs to terracing, laying down of erosion control fabric and replacement of beachgrass. The report’s recommendations concluded with concerns about utilizing honeycomb grids by Coastal Technologies Corp. under consideration by village officials, namely: “GEI has expressed concern that such an installation may not be effective at East Beach due to the types of soils present and the steepness of the East Beach Bluff.”
Despite these concerns, the Board of Trustees at the Oct. 23 public meeting approved a resolution to use American Rescue Plan Act funds at the total cost of $33,920 to pilot test Coastal Technologies stabilizing devices, pending a revised permit from the DEC.
In response to GEI concerns, George Thatos, Coastal Technologies co-founder and head of design, said, “Our Cliff Stabilizer system stabilizes near-vertical slopes with vegetation, unlike terracing which requires major regrading and cliff-top land loss.” He added, “Our solution naturally reforests bluffs.”
According to DEC representative, Jeff Wernick, if a permit holder “cannot follow a report recommendations due to environmental conditions, DEC works with them to modify the permit to correct the issues. If the recommendations are not followed due to negligence, it could result in a violation of the permit and enforcement action.”
Port Jeff Citizens Commission on Erosion
This reporter attended a recent meeting of the Port Jefferson Citizens Commission on Erosion. Their mission, in summary, is to act as a volunteer resident advisory group to the village on matters of erosion confronting the village. So far, much of the group’s focus, chaired by village resident David Knauf, has been on the East Beach Bluff Stabilization project.
On Jan. 20, the committee submitted detailed written questions to Mayor Lauren Sheprow expressing concerns about the overall status of the stabilization project. It questioned plans to proceed with Phase 2 before implementing drainage recommendations and before updating the land survey of the upper bluff that is about three years old. The commission urged these steps be completed before soliciting bids for the construction of Phase 2.
”There was damage that occurred since the Phase 1 was completed that hasn’t been addressed, meaning that it keeps getting more pronounced. There were ongoing reports that were done during the past year,” Knauf said at the Jan. 23 commission meeting.
He added that repairs “should have been done up to now so that whatever was occurring [with Phase 1] didn’t get worse.”
The commission, to date, has not received a comprehensive update on maintenance done on the bluff/wall as recommended in the May 2024 report, according to Knauf.
According to village trustee Robert Juliano, any maintenance and repair done during the time frame of the 2024 report “was minor, such as grooming the beach by village employees.”
Other concerns brought up at the meeting included a request to review a retreat plan allegedly completed under former Mayor Garant and actively participating in vetting of contract bids.
Sheprow, present at the meeting, told TBR News Media her responses to the written questions from the commission, reviewed at the Jan. 23 meeting, would be posted on the village website.
“The village will look to enlist the Citizens Commission on Erosion to help facilitate an open forum where GEI will present the Phase 2 project design and a path forward for Phase 1 remediation and restoration,” the mayor said in an email to TBR News Media.
The 2023 Annual Post-Construction Bluff Monitoring Report dated May 2024 and related items can be viewed at the Port Jefferson Village website at: www.portjeff.com/ 206/East-Beach-Bluff.
For earlier reporting by TBR News Media, visit tbrnewsmedia.com and key in “East Beach Bluff Stabilization project.”
Long Island chapter of Standing Up for Racial Justice held a rally in PJS on Feb. 2. Photo by Sabrina Artusa
By Sabrina Artusa
On Sunday, Feb. 2, the newly founded Long Island chapter of Standing Up for Racial Justice, a national organization aimed toward mobilizing people against racial and economic inequality, met alongside Route 347 in Port Jefferson Station at “Resistance Corner.”
Around 20 men and women held signs in gloved hands, projecting their passion and mission to passing traffic. They faced the bitter cold together, united in their mission to sway newly elected Assemblywoman Rebecca Kassay (D-Port Jefferson) to their purpose.
SURJ was founded in 2009 in response to backlash over the election of former president Barack Obama (D). The organization is dedicated to mobilizing community members, particularly white people, and “to bring together others who were not already active in justice work or who were unsure about how to take action,” according to the website.
This chapter, or “circle,” of SURJ was initiated by circle organizer Sarah Payne and began in November. SURJ encouraged the chapter to sign a pledge “to protect and resist” said Cindy Simon, a member of SURJ. The pledge asks Kassay to “stand up for the people [and] make sure the new policies don’t hurt us.”
Simon said she received a positive response from Kassay. “I am steadfast in my commitment to justice, and in this, would offer my participation at a workshop or other forum where my presence and perspectives could help to further local community goals,” Kassay wrote in an email.
“I want to live in a community where we take care of each other because we have more power than we think we have,” said one member to the crowd. “If we come together, we can fight for a world where everyone has what they need to live dignified lives:health care, housing, a climate that keeps us safe [and] safety from unreasonable detention.”
Some community members held American flags or wore red, white and blue attire. Others held signs reading “Defund the oligarchs,” “Protect people. Resist fascism” and “United against hate.”
“The goal is to become an established group that can continue into 2025 and beyond,” Simon said.
Payne said that as organizer, she has noticed a lack of support for the LGBTQ community on Long Island, so she plans to direct the chapter accordingly to address those needs.
“We’ve been looking at the intersectionality between queer and trans issues and racial justice issues,” Payne said. “Queer and trans issues are really close to the heart for a lot of people in our circle so I think that is more of our focus.”
“I’m hoping that now that we’ve done this it will be more like a self-sufficient group and we can go and do more actions now that we have this experience,” Payne added.
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