Times of Huntington-Northport

A scene from the 2024 Setauket Memorial Day Parade. Photo by Rita J. Egan

By Heidi Sutton

‘Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it.’ — Unknown

Falling every year on the last Monday of May, Memorial Day honors the heroes  who made the ultimate sacrifice while serving in all branches of the U.S. military. May they never be forgotten. The following communities will commemorate this federal holiday on May 25 and May 26. 

Calverton

Calverton National Cemetery, 210 Princeton Blvd., Calverton will hold a Memorial Day ceremony on May 26 at 1 p.m. at the re-designed Assembly Area. 631-727-5410

Centerport 

The Centerport Fire Department will host a Memorial Day Parade on May 26 at 10 a.m. from Centershore Road, Harrison Drive, east on Mill Dam Road Centerport, southeast on Prospect Road, south on Little Neck Road.  Ends at Park Circle, Centerport followed by a ceremony at the memorial monuments in the park. 631-261-5916

Centereach

The Centereach Fire Department will hold its 2nd annual Memorial Day Parade on May 25 at 1 p.m. Parade kicks off at the corner of Horseblock Road and Middle Country Road and ends at the Centereach Fire Department on South Washington Avenue. 631-588-8652

Commack

VFW Elwood-Commack Post 9263 hosts a Memorial Day parade on May 26 at 10 a.m. Kick off is at the Home Depot parking lot at the intersection of Larkfield Road and Jericho Turnpike and head east on Jericho Turnpike to junction at Veterans Highway to Cannon Park for a ceremony. 631-780-4853

East Northport

Father Judge Council Knights of Columbus hosts the East Northport Memorial Day Parade with kick off on May 26 at noon at Clay Pitts and Larkfield roads and proceed to John Walsh Memorial Park. 631-262-1891

Farmingdale

— The annual Farmingdale Memorial Day Parade on May 26 kicks off at  1 p.m.. proceeding south on Main Street, ending at Village Hall. Followed by a ceremony on the Village Green.

— Long Island National Cemetery, 2040 Wellwood Ave., Farmingdale will hold a Memorial Day service on May 25 at 2 p.m. 631-454-4949

Farmingville 

The Farmingville Fire Department’s annual Memorial Day Parade will be held on May 26 at 11 a.m.  Parade starts at CVS on Horseblock Road to the memorial at Nicolls Road and Portion Road. 631-732-6611

Greenlawn 

Organized by the Greenlawn Fire Department, a Memorial Day parade will kick off on May 26 at 9 a.m. on East Maple Road, south on Broadway to Greenlawn Memorial Park, at the corner of Pulaski Road and Broadway. 631-261-9103

Kings Park

The annual Kings Park Memorial Day Parade, sponsored by American Legion Post 944, will be held on May 26 at 9 a.m. Kick off is at the corner of Old Dock Road and Church Street to the Veterans Plaza at Route 25A for flag ceremonies. 631-269-4140

Holbrook

Holbrook Chamber of Commerce will host a Memorial Day Parade on May 26 at 11 a.m. Parade begins at 1069 Main St., heads south to Furrow’s Road, west to Grundy and culminates at the Vietnam Memorial. 631-471-2725

Huntington 

— The Town of Huntington will host a Wreath Laying Ceremony on May 25 at Veterans Plaza on the front lawn of Huntington Town Hall at 100 Main Street at 10 a.m. 631-351-3012 

— American Legion Post 360 will hold a Memorial Day Parade on May 26 at noon. Parade will begin on Gerard Street to West Neck Road, Main Street to Stewart Ave. 631-423-7575

Lake Ronkonkoma

Join AMVETS Post 48 in honoring veterans who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country on May 26, for the Lake Ronkonkoma Veterans Memorial Parade. The parade starts at 10 a.m. on Church Street and ends at Raynor Park for a very special Veterans Ceremony beginning at 11 a.m. 631-615-1428

Parade of Flags at Heritage Park.

Mount Sinai 

A Parade of American Flags will be on display at Heritage Park, 633 Mount Sinai-Coram Rd, Mt Sinai on May 26 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., courtesy of Boy Scout Troop 1776. 631-403-4846

Northport

Organized by the Northport American Legion Post 694, the parade will begin at 10 a.m. on May 26 at Laurel Avenue School and proceed down Main Street to the Northport Village Park. 631-261-4424

Port Jefferson

American Legion Wilson Ritch Post 432 will perform a Memorial Day ceremony at Port Jefferson Memorial Park, West Broadway, Port Jefferson on May 26 at 10 a.m. 631-473-9774

Port Jefferson Station

Join the American Legion Wilson Ritch Post 432 for a Memorial Day ceremony at Steven J. Crowley Memorial Park on Old Town Road in Port Jefferson Station on May 26 at 9 a.m. 631-473-9774

Rocky Point

The Rocky Point Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 6249, 109 King Road, Rocky Point will host a Memorial Day service to honor the fallen on May 26 at 11 a.m. 631-744-9106

St. James 

A Memorial Day Parade organized by Sgt. John W. Cooke VFW Post 395 will be held on May 26 at 10 a.m. The parade steps off at the corner of Lake Avenue and Woodlawn Avenue and proceeds to St. James Elementary School for a ceremony. 631-862-7965

Setauket 

The Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 3054 will hold its annual Three Village Memorial Day Parade in Setauket on May 26 at 11 a.m. Parade starts at the corner of Main Street and Route 25A with an opening ceremony at the Village Green across from the library and a closing ceremony at Memorial Park along Route 25A by Se-Port Deli. 631-406-1938

Smithtown 

The Smithtown Fire Department hosts its annual  Memorial Day Parade on May 26 at noon. Kickoff is at the corner of Main Street and Singer Lane, continuing west on Main Street to Town Hall. 631-360-7620

Sound Beach

The Sound Beach Civic Association will hold a Memorial Day service at the Veterans Memorial Park on New York Avenue in Sound Beach on May 26 at noon. 631-744-6952

Scene from Huntington High School's 2022 graduation. Photo from Huntington school district

By Daniel Dunaief

Graduates preparing to emerge into what passes for the real world these days need to keep in mind something they studied in introductory economics: supply and demand.

You see, any imbalance creates opportunities and the world outside the academic cocoon has plenty of those.

Let’s start with supply. We have plenty of anger, frustration, irritation, and hostility. Yes, I know those are emotions, but, really, aren’t those in full display regularly and aren’t they at the heart of decisions and actions?

Anger and bitterness float around like a dense fog, settling in at the comment section for stories, expressing themselves out the open windows of cars stuck in traffic, and appearing in abundance in long, slow lines at the grocery store, the deli counter, or the dreaded Department of Motor Vehicles.

We also have plenty of absolute certainty, particularly among our fearless leaders at every level. This certainty manifests itself in many ways, as people are convinced they are right, no alternatives exist, and they can and will prevail over time.

For many of them, the world has returned to a state of black and white, where good and right are on one side and evil and darkness reside on the other. The reality, as many movies, books, and forms of entertainment suggests, is somewhere in between, with a wide spectrum of grey and, if you look for it, magnificent colors.

These same leaders are neither particularly good winners or particularly good losers, not that some of them would admit to losing anything anyway.

We also have innumerable entertainers, who collect followers like Pied Pipers with their flutes, sharing videos, ideas, and whatever else brings in viewers. They need followers and, with people eager to stay plugged in to the latest compelling popular culture, the people seem to need these attractions.

With such a high supply of followers, you don’t need to be just another one in a long list.

We have no shortage of people willing to offer advice and second guess anyone and everyone else. From their couch, sports commentators always somehow know better.

We also have plenty of electronic, artificial and technological systems that aren’t working as well as we, and the companies that use them, would like. That’s a supply of inefficiencies with a demand for improvements.

I can’t tell you how many times a voice activated system asks me for information, I provide it, the system repeats it and then the whole process starts over again, without getting closer to a real person or a resolution. These systems have bad days far too often.

Okay, now, on the demand side, we need more people who listen carefully and closely and who can learn in and on their jobs.

These days, people who find solutions, take responsibility and represent any business well are in shorter supply. Plenty of people seem indifferent to disgruntled customers, waiting for a better job to come along while they allow themselves to do work they don’t find particularly rewarding or compelling.

We also have a demand for listeners. With all the frustrations and disappointments out there, sometimes people don’t need anything more than someone who can listen to and acknowledge them.

On the demand side, the need for questions is extraordinarily high. When recent graduates don’t know or understand something, they can and should ask.

An answer along the lines of, “well, we do that because that’s the way it’s always been done,” offers an opportunity to improve on a process, an idea, an approach or an interaction.

The demand for people who can disagree effectively, can show respect, and can bring people together is extraordinarily high.

We don’t all need to agree on everything and to nod our heads like artificial intelligence automatons. We need people who can bring us together and keep us focused on shorter and longer term goals.

The need for positivity, solutions and great ideas is high. We live in an incredible country with a fascinating mix of opportunities, people, narratives, and potential.

Be prepared to use some of the ways of thinking you learned in college. When the majority of people are going right, consider what going left might mean and vice versa.

Other people might have their habits, patterns and routines, but you don’t have to adapt them as your own immediately. Be prepared to offer something new.

Your fresh perspective through eyes that haven’t seen a process occur repeatedly can and should be an advantage.

Yes, you might be a rookie in a new job or a new program, but that can mean that the demand for your insights can make you a valuable and welcome addition to any team.

Pixabay photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

It wasn’t easy getting to The Big Easy last Thursday. On our way to my youngest grandson’s graduation from college, we were leaving from JFK in the afternoon, and there were delays all along the way. Even after we finally got to the departure gate and onto the plane, we were held on the tarmac for almost two hours, taxiing from runway to runway, until the pilot was given the signal to take off. 

A consolation was the relatively smooth three-hour flight. The ride to the hotel, in the dark, took about half an hour and was made pleasant by an interesting driver. Originally from the Ukraine, he filled us in on his immigration tribulations and his family’s situation back home. Although hungry when we arrived, we were more exhausted and fell right into bed.

We were well rewarded the next morning. One by one, with lots of hugging, the family connected with us at the Bearcat Cafe, one of the best breakfast restaurants I have ever had the pleasure of eating in. 

Now, New Orleans does have a fine reputation for eateries, so perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised. The clever pairings of offerings, the way the dishes were prepared and the joyful manner of the wait staff in serving us were unparalleled. So if you find yourself in NOLA, you know where to go to start your day in fine style.

We returned to the hotel and changed for the first of the two graduation ceremonies. Did I mention the heat? Yes, we knew it would be hot in Louisiana, and it didn’t disappoint. It was both oppressively hot and humid for me. I should explain that I am generally more comfortable in the cold, so I hastened from one air conditioned location to the next, where it was often too cold for some. But those were the extremes of the city.

The ceremonies were in Caesars Superdome, which was both huge and cool. We took our seats high above and far from the stage, and watched the graduates file in like ants below, wearing their black robes and caps, as jazz music played. Each student’s name was called, and he or she in turn walked across the stage to shake the hand of the patient college official. We waited with interest to hear how our name would inevitably be mangled, a common consequence at all family graduations. Surprisingly, it was not. All the visitors did their best to utter loud, congratulatory cheers for their graduating loved ones, and we made sufficient noise to be heard by our grandson as he accepted his diploma.

The second ceremony, for the entire university, was not until the following night, and so we had time to explore the city. Several of us had been there before, so we passed up Bourbon Street, although I made sure to enjoy a beignet at the branch of Cafe du Monde on the Riverwalk. Instead, we went to The Fly along the bank of the Mississippi River, sat in a small gazebo, and watched the muddy waters rush by. 

The River was almost two miles across at that point, and several tankers and tug boats traveled stately past in either direction. It occurred to me that I had never seen the Mississippi before, and since I had just recently finished reading “James,” a highly decorated novel that is a take off on “Huckleberry Finn,” the scene was populated by Mark Twain’s characters in my imagination. Additionally, several residents were cooking crawfish nearby in a big kettle, and the smells were delightful. They offered us a taste, in that polite Southern fashion; the crustacean was too spicy for me.

Also spicing up the trip was the news of 10 escaped prisoners, five of whom have now been recaptured. One was found in a fancy hotel, clearly a man of good taste.

We did drive through the Garden District, impressed by the historic homes, and we  viewed the house in which our grandson lived near the campus. We left the city and its bananas foster reluctantly, for there was much more to see.

Two Grey Arches

Garden lovers in Long Island are in for a treat this Saturday, May 24, with three unique opportunities to explore three diverse private gardens through the Garden Conservancy’s Open Days program. The featured gardens are:

Tranquility

Tranquility (Mount Sinai). Hundreds of perennials, shrubs, trees, and annuals are combined with water features, lawn art, and recently relocated garden trails that allow the visitor to enter the owner’s vision of an Impressionistic garden painting. Footpaths wind through the extensive garden, allowing visitors to immerse themselves in the sights and sounds of nature and escape the general stress of modern lifestyles.

Two Grey Achers

Two Grey Achers (Setauket/East Setauket). This garden was designed by its owners to provide beauty and interest in all seasons. Adjacent to Conscience Bay on Long Island’s North Shore, the mild maritime microclimate is reflected in the broad range of taxa thriving on this intensively planted site. A remarkable collection of choice conifers and Japanese maples, amassed over three decades, creates a year-round tapestry of color, texture, and form. Come, enjoy, and find specific ideas for stunning, hardworking woody plants to add to your own garden.

Woodland Garden

Woodland Garden – Bill & Veronica Schiavo (Wading River). The property features a heavily wooded landscape with one large pond, three small ponds, and two streams. Twelve- to fifteen-foot rhododendrons and flowering shrubs encircle the house. The lawn-less, deer-resistant terrain showcases diverse plants, including a new shade and fern garden with a stone patio. A nature trail winds through the front woods alongside a 75-foot stream and waterfall. Behind the house, two ponds, one with a Japanese red maple and waterfall, are surrounded by trees and grasses. The woodland garden is a Certified Wildlife Habitat.

Open Days offers a unique opportunity for visitors to peek behind the garden gates of otherwise private gardens for one day only, and to explore a variety of garden styles and horticultural traditions.

The gardens will be open from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. for registered guests. Tickets for garden visits are $10 per person, or $5 for members of the Garden Conservancy. Children 12 and under are admitted for free when accompanied by a parent or guardian. All registrations must be processed online through the Garden Conservancy’s website. Visit gardenconservancy.org/opendays.

Fueling America’s passion for gardens, the Garden Conservancy’s Open Days™ program is the only nationwide garden visiting program. In 2025, Open Days marks its 30th year. Over three decades, Open Days has welcomed more than 1.4 million visitors into thousands of inspired private landscapes—from urban rooftops to organic farms, historic estates to suburban sanctuaries—in 41 states.

On Sunday, May 18, Legislator Rebecca Sanin hosted an Earth Day Celebration at West Hills County Park, bringing together residents, local organizations, and community partners for a day of environmental education, family fun, and sustainability-focused engagement. The event featured a wide range of community sponsors, partners, and vendors, including: Silver Edge Construction, Confident Minds Psychotherapy and Coaching, County Line Hardware, Harbor Paint, Walt Whitman Birthplace State Historic Site, West Hills Neighbors, DDR Farm, Say Cheese Pizza Café, and PSEG.

In addition, the event welcomed a series of organizations that provided educational materials and interactive experiences, including: Long Island Clean Energy Hub, Toxic/Nature Studios, Art League of Long Island, Citizens Campaign for the Environment, Decor by Don, PuroClean of Huntington, Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County – Marine Department, and the Atlantic Marine Conservation Society (AMSEAS). Additional appreciation is extended to the Commack Library and Elwood Library for providing lawn games, and for contributing to a fun and engaging atmosphere for families throughout the day.

“It is truly an inspiration to watch our community gather in support of our home planet,” said Legislator Sanin. “Our earth is the most precious that gift we have, and it is up to all of us to advocate for, respect, and celebrate that gift.”

Now in its second year, Legislator Sanin’s Earth Day Celebration continues to bring the community together in support of local environmental efforts. The event highlighted the role of youth in shaping a sustainable future through the Earth Day Poetry Contest, where student participants expressed their environmental values through powerful creative writing. Legislator Sanin extends her congratulations to winners Abigail Kaloo and Kenji Flores of Walt Whitman High School, and Aleuris Lantigua of Brentwood High School for the creativity and care demonstrated in their poetry submissions.

The event showed a shared commitment to environmental change and the importance of making everyday Earth Day through continued advocacy, education, and sustainable choices.

 

Pope Leo XIV. Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons

By Luciana Hayes

On May 8, Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost was elected and chose the name Pope Leo XIV after a two-day conclave. He is the first American pope. But with any change comes controversy, especially when there is conflict between tradition and modernization. What do locals think of this new pope? 

TBR News Media tackles this question by asking Long Islanders to share their opinions about recently elected Pope Leo XIV.

Nicole Connelly

Nicole Connelly looks forward to seeing a pope from the same city as her, Chicago, and one that enjoys tennis as much as she. While this is a simple validation, it leads her to feel a connection to the new pope because of it. 

Thomas Worthington

Based on the information received, Thomas Worthington thinks Pope Leo XIV will continue the work of Pope Francis. In addition, Pope Leo XIV seems to be a good humanitarian who supports marginalized individuals. Worthington says, “He appears to be looking out for the underdogs in the world.”

Anonymous, East Setauket

This resident reflects on the matter by explaining how she thinks Pope Leo XIV will effectively enforce Catholic tradition, while still maintaining a more humane aspect that previous popes lacked. She also feels that many American Catholics can relate to him because of his nationality. “He has shown he’s a very human person with his enthusiasm for baseball,” Moody explains.

Jeanine Lewis, Holbrook

When asked about Pope Leo XIV, Jeanine Lewis responded, “I like him because he has a very kind smile and he’s a people person. You can see he connects with the people.” Another quality Lewis appreciates from the pope is his ability to keep Catholic traditions, but modify some of them to fit modern times.

Layla Fayed, East Setauket

Layla Fayed welcomes the new pope with cautious optimism in hopes to see him successfully modernize church doctrine. She looks to Pope Leo XIV to allow female leadership in the Catholic Church and openness toward the LGBTQ+ community. Fayed states, “overall, his papacy will be closely observed for how seriously it regards equality and inclusivity.

 

The John W. Engeman Theater in Northport continues its Main Stage season with a production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific from May 15 to June 29.

The beloved musical takes place on a South Pacific island during World War II where two love stories are threatened by the dangers of prejudice and war. With songs such as “Some Enchanted Evening,” “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair,” “Younger Than Spring-time,” and “There Is Nothin’ Like A Dame,” the show’s lush score contains some of the best songs ever written by Rodgers & Hammerstein.

Directed by Tony-nominated director, actor, and writer Hunter Foster, with musical direction by Kyle Dixon, the cast features Taylor Aronson as Nellie Forbush, Mike McGowan as Emile De Becque, Carol Angeli as Bloody Mary, Philip Bryan as Luther Billis, Malia Munley as Liat,  and Alec Nevin as Lt. Joseph Cable.

The cast also includes Ellie Baker, Madeline Benoit, Michael Bingham, JR Bruno, Peyton Cassity, Ylvie Cuisine, Maxime Detoledo, Joah Ditto, Travis Flynt, Tyler Gallaher, Mike Keller, Landon Koh, Leo London, Danny Maguire, Carmella Manapat, Vivica Powell, Kristin Tagg, Matthew Wautier-Rodriguez and Elizabeth Zhang.  

South Pacific‘s schedule includes Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m, Thursdays at 8:00 p.m., Fridays at 8:00 p.m., Saturdays at 2:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m., and Sundays at 2:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Tickets start at $82 and may be purchased by calling 631-261-2900, going online at engemantheater.com, or visiting the Engeman Theater Box Office at 250 Main Street, Northport.

 

 

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

If an amusement park suddenly changed the criteria that would allow visitors to ride on a roller coaster or log flume, the number of potential customers would suddenly climb.

The same holds true for the number of people whom doctors are diagnosing with autism.

Over time, health care professionals have changed the definition of autism, recognizing the heterogeneous nature of a diagnosis that is often different from one individual to the next.

Debra Reicher. Photo courtesy Stony Brook University

Recently, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the head of Health and Human Services, suggested that he planned to share a detailed analysis of autism by this September to explain the increase in the number of people who receive such a diagnosis.

Based on numerous reports, Kennedy indicated he would present research findings at the end of the summer that explains why and how the number of cases of autism and other childhood chronic diseases has risen.

“The biggest, most widely agreed reason for the increase in numbers is the broadening of the diagnostic criteria,” said Debra Reicher, Clinical Psychologist and Assistant Professor at the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University.

Over her 35 years in the field of autism, Reicher said the definition of autism has changed.

“We are getting better at diagnosing people at the higher end of the spectrum,” she said.

When Reicher started in the field, about 80 percent of those diagnosed with autism also had an intellectual developmental disorder or cognitive delay. That is currently closer to 40 percent.

“We are getting better at identifying people who have good cognitive skills,” and who have autism, Reicher added.

Over time, the male-female gap has also narrowed. Historically, boys and men were more likely to receive an autism diagnosis.

Clinicians are getting better at understanding the presentation of autism in females, who have different symptoms that can fly under the radar.

Girls are more likely to “mask or camouflage” autism, which physicians might miss, Reicher added.

Matthew Lerner

People are also more aware of autism as a diagnosis.

“Young parents are tracking their child’s development and are asking their pediatricians questions,” Reicher said. That leads to earlier detection.

On a smaller but not insignificant level, some studies suggest that older ages of fathers can also contribute to autism. 

“Advanced paternal age is a statistically significant predicator of increased rates of autism,” said Matthew Lerner, Research Associate Professor and Research Director of the Autism Initiative at Stony Brook University. 

Premature babies, who are much more likely to survive today than they were even a few decades ago, can also receive an autism diagnosis as they develop.

More support

At the same time, health systems are not only more actively screening for autism, but they are also providing more support and benefits.

By offering people and their families services, these health care systems are providing people with autism care, making a diagnosis a potential starting point for more care.

“If somebody was diagnosed with autism in the 1980s, there weren’t a lot of things that folks could do,” said Lerner, who is also Associate Professor and Leader of the Life Course Outcomes Program Area at the AJ Drexel Autism Institute at Drexel University.

Some research also suggests a correlation between environmental exposure or pollutants and the incidence of the condition.

Researchers, however,  caution that a correlation doesn’t necessarily indicate a causation, which is a significant challenge in the world of science and medicine.

A correlation may or may not be relevant in the context of a disease or the treatment for it. Researchers who can conclude based on larger and statistically significant samples a cause between something like environmental exposure and a disease can reduce the likelihood of a condition.

To be sure, despite considerable chatter through online forums, the Internet and people who have limited or no medical expertise, people in the autism field have not seen any evidence that vaccines for diseases like measles have any connection with autism.

The studies that were done in the 90s and early 2000s that suggested a potential link between autism and vaccines were biased and were eventually retracted in a journal, Reicher said.

“Research shows no difference in the rates of autism between vaccinated and unvaccinated children,” she added.

Some new or expectant mothers are hesitating to give their children a measles, mumps and rubella shot.

Reicher urges parents to study the issue carefully and to provide the kind of protection that will prevent the spread of infectious diseases and the lifelong consequences of contracting measles.

Reicher suggested that some of the fear comes from the fact that MMR is given around the time physicians recognize the symptoms of autism.

“With vaccines, there’s no evidence to support” a connection with autism, Reicher added.

New research

Researchers and clinicians welcomed the possibility of new studies that might help the heterogeneous community of people with autism.

New work done with “rigorous science that have reputable approaches and ask meaningful questions” could be “fantastic” for people with autism and their support networks, Lerner said.

To be sure, Lerner doesn’t anticipate any major findings in the development of autism, particularly in the context of vaccines or any other speculation that researchers have tested for decades.

The notion that significant studies from around the world that thousands of researchers conducted over the course of decades would suddenly be overturned in the next four months “seems highly implausible,” he said.

Lerner hopes that any focus on autism research that the current administration conducts respects and adheres to the level of rigor necessary to make any changes in diagnosis, treatment or potential causes.

At this point, Reicher, who has spent decades working with a wide range of people with autism, has seen many people with autism live “wonderful, successful, fulfilling lives.” People with autism are “making huge contributions to the arts, to science and to everything in between.”

Understanding and enhancing an awareness of autism through well-documented and rigorous research could help some people with the diagnosis, although a one-size-fits-all approach won’t work for a larger population that has different symptoms and needs.

When we feel achy, nauseous and dizzy, we know something is wrong. We might visit the doctor, take cold medicine or cancel plans in order to get some rest.We quickly equate the corporeal symptoms with a physical ailment and treat the illness appropriately. A cut requires a bandage, a broken bone needs a cast. 

When we are mentally struggling, the problem is more difficult to diagnose. Our stubborn minds, too smart for their own good, may equivocate and minimize the pain, convincing ourselves that in the absence of physical symptoms, pain should not exist. We are busy–kids need rides to school, deadlines loom and work piles up. There isn’t time for a quiet moment to check in with our emotions.

It may seem inconvenient, or even embarrassing for us to admit that our mental state is suffering, but we can’t outrun, outwork or suppress something as vital as mental health. We shouldn’t accept it as a weakness or as an unavoidable dispositional quality. Help awaits to alleviate our discomfort or suffering. 

Prolonged distress or anxiety has physical consequences, such as high blood pressure, weight fluctuation, heart disease and sleep issues. We shouldn’t ignore our minds. 

Mental illness doesn’t discriminate by age, gender or class. Stigmas surrounding asking for help differ by demographic, with men less likely to reach for help when they are struggling. Prescribing to stereotypes and gender roles contributes to the idea that men shouldn’t ask for help, or are failing in their masculinity if they do. Less than half of men suffering from depression or anxiety actually seek help. 

It may seem like we are alone–that there must be something wrong with us for feeling anxious or depressed or paranoid. This is untrue. The World Health Organization estimates that 1 in 8 adults suffer from mental disorders each year. 

It is time to prioritize mental health instead of pushing it to the side. If something is off with friends or loved ones–they aren’t as enthusiastic about their hobbies, aren’t eating as much or are eating more than normal, or are isolating themselves– make sure they know you are there to support them and get them any help they may need. If you feel your mental health slipping, lean on those around you or call the Suffolk County’s Mental Health Helpline at 631-471-7242.  

Sometimes, just opening up and talking about what you are feeling can ease the pain. Other times, contacting a professional could be what work best.

Laurel and Dylan Gallo. Photo by Joshua Kim

By Joshua Kim

This Mother’s Day, locals reflected on the  role their mothers have played in their lives; from attending sports games to dispensing unforgettable advice, these matriarchs shaped who their children are today. 

TBR News Media asked community members, “What is your favorite memory with your mother?

Laurel and Dylan Gallo

Laurel and Dylan Gallo, Centereach

Laurel remembers going to Cedar Beach with her mother, people-watching and shopping together. Her son

Dylan recalled recently going to see Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats at Madison Square Garden withher, sipping margaritas together in their booth. “We got to hear all our favorite songs that we grew up listening to together, and I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget it.”

Alex Andre

Alex Andre, Hempstead

Alex’s fondest memory of his mother was going out for food together before he went to Germany for the Army.

Thomas and Flynn

Thomas and Flynn,  St. James

Flynn’s favorite memory was going to Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor water park, together with his mom. His brother Thomas also shared his favorite memory: “probably the day when I was born!”

Nekki Lang

Nekki Lang, Southbury, Conn.

This former Long Islander’s favorite memory with her mother was trekking up to Vermont to visit after her mother had moved off of Long Island.

Jace Mas

Jace Mas, Port Jefferson Station

While checking people out at The Frigate, Jace shared his favorite memory: coming off the mat at his wrestling and Jiu-Jitsu matches and seeing his mom cheering him on.

Mashal Siddiqui

Mashal Siddiqui, Centereach

Mashal recalled going to the beach as a family when her brothers were young. She said the time she spent with her family then was her favorite memory with her mother.

Ryan

Ryan, Mount Sinai

Ryan’s absolute favorite memory with his mom was going to Universal Studios with her. His sister’s favorite memory is a secret.

Jack and Shannon Chant

Jake and Shannon Chant, Middle Island

Shannon’s favorite memory with her mother is going on vacation with her and getting one-on-one time together. Her son Jake’s favorite memory, similarly, is visiting the beaches of Nantucket with her.

— All photos by Joshua Kim