The English language makes no sense. As soon as you create a rule, exceptions crop up like mushrooms colonizing an open field.
Let’s start with the plural form of nouns.
“Add an ‘s’ and be done with it,” you might say. While that’s a simple solution, the language laughs in the face of such elegant simplicity.
Take the words “chief” and “thief.” Chief” becomes “chiefs” easily enough, as Kansas City football fans will readily tell you.
But then thief changes everything. The plural becomes “thieves,” as if someone robbed the word of its “f” and replaced it with something that sounds more vile and villainous.
The plural for hoof, as in the bottom of a horse’s foot, is hooves, but the acceptable plural for roof, which also only has one different letter way at the start of the word, is roofs. Yes, I know people say “rooves,” but that doesn’t make it accurate.
A root at the bottom of the tree that draws nutrients from the ground becomes roots. A single owl calling to another across the treetops utters a hoot. Several owls responding reply in hoots. So far, so good.
But then, what’s wrong with those things that are important for walking and that smell up a room when they sweat too much? How is it that foot, which also only differs in the initial letter, becomes feet?
Then there are the plural forms of animals. A mouse hunting for food with his rodent pals becomes mice, while a moose eating in a field with his family becomes, well, moose.
The moose, however, hasn’t cornered the market on words that describe an individual and a group. Deer, sheep, salmon and trout also don’t budge when switching from one to several.
And why are the words for a group of animals different? Couldn’t they all be packs, herds, groups or schools?
Wolves banding together to hunt, live and howl form a pack. A family of giraffes is, fittingly, called a tower. That seems appropriate for animals that are born 6 feet tall.
But what about a collection of bears? They’re a sleuth, while a group of bats is a cloud.
One goose pooping on a field is inconvenient and messy, but is still a goose. Two of them are geese. A group of them walking on the ground is a gaggle, while those same birds in flight become a skein.
People often describe the challenge of bringing people together as akin to herding cats. While the verb is accurate, the name for a group of cats is not: they are a clutter, a glaring or a pounce, although numerous other words also describe a cat confab.
Now, more than one dolphin, those adorable marine mammals that make cool clicking sounds and perform at aquariums, becomes a school, which is also true of more than one fish, even though other marine mammals, such as walruses become herds or pods
When several ducks get together, they aren’t a flock, despite the fact that they are birds. They are a raft, perhaps reflecting the fact that they look like independent floats sitting on the water. Sea lions also become rafts when they’re together in the water.
Returning to those hooting owls, they become a parliament. Sure, that makes sense.
A group of hippos is called a bloat. While hippos average 3,310 pounds as an adult, the same word doesn’t apply to the larger elephant, which is part of a herd.
A number of crows is a murder, reflecting, perhaps, their ominous role in literature.
Penguins may take the word group crown, having a wide array of terms for them when they get together. A group is called a colony, rookery or huddles. It doesn’t end there. Swimming penguins, like ducks, are a raft. More likely than not, you might guess the name for walking penguins: they are a waddle.
It was an ominous sound. Behind the closed glass doors of our fireplace, there seemed to be a fluttering. It must be an odd gust of wind, I hoped. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t. On closer but timid examination, I could make out the frantic beating of the wings of a bird that had somehow fallen down the chimney and was struggling to escape.
What to do?
If I opened the fireplace doors and the door to the back deck, would the bird immediately fly through the living room and out of the house? I doubted that. It was probably dazed and disoriented and would buzz around the ceiling, wildly flapping its wings. How could I steer it in the right direction? Maybe with a broom? Would it think I was attacking and peck at me?
When in doubt about any of life’s challenges, I often consult the support system of my office staff. I called, explained the situation to our always patient receptionist, and was immediately transferred to the member of the art department who most often deals with suburban wildlife.
“Get a small towel, open the fireplace doors a crack and see if you can catch the bird in the towel as it tries to fly out. You can carry it to the outside door and let it loose,” she suggested. Then, because she is a wonderfully generous human being, she asked if I wanted her husband to stop by.
I declined the offer, thanked her and did as she directed, nervously opening the doors a little and peering inside. At this point, the bird was lying on its side, under a low brick that protruded from the back of the fireplace. I was afraid it was dead. But then, it stood up and again began to flutter its wings. The probability of catching it in the towel seemed remote.
I closed the doors, went to the phone and called my friendly and helpful exterminator. “We don’t really do that kind of work,” he said with surprise. “But I can recommend a wildlife rescue person.” I’ll text you his phone number as soon as I can find it.” With that, he got off the phone, leaving me alone with a bird in my chimney.
I needed to mobilize. I called my neighbor, even though I knew she was terrified of birds in the house from a nasty experience she had as a child. Good soul that she is, she came right over and viewed the situation. The bird was definitely alive and fluttering. Poor thing. The count was now two nervous women and one nervous bird. Perhaps the most nervous was my friend.
I checked my texts, found the recommendation for the rescuer and immediately called. “I’ll be glad to help you out,” he said. “Where do you live?” When I told him, he assured me that he was nearby and could get there in just a few minutes. “My price is $150 for the visit and $100 to remove the bird,” he informed me. That gave me serious pause. “Um, I’ll call you back,” I said. “OK,” he replied and hung up.
I looked at my friend, who had heard the conversation, and who now looked back at me with a strange light in her eyes. “Are your plastic gloves still in the bottom drawer? she asked. Dashing into the kitchen, she reappeared, pulling on the gloves. To my surprise, she opened the doors, climbed into the fireplace, gently lifted the bird from under brick, ran across the room to the open door and put it down on the outside table. It stood still. We brought water and put the aluminum plate on the far side of the table. It still didn’t move, just watched us as we watched it. Then, as we started to move, it took off and flew away.
We cheered loudly, both for the bird and for my neighbor. She had managed to overcome her intense fear in order to preserve a life and also to save my purse.
Suffolk County Police Second Squad detectives are investigating a motor vehicle crash that critically injured a pedestrian in Commack on July 11.
Dennis Mahoney was crossing the roadway northbound in front of 6079 Jericho Turnpike when he was struck by a westbound 2015 Subaru Crosstrek at approximately 11:15 p.m.
Mahoney, 55, of Commack, was transported to Stony Brook University Hospital in critical condition. The driver of the Subaru, Christine Chancey, 61, of Northport, was not injured.
The vehicle was impounded for a safety check. Anyone with information on the crash is asked to contact the Second Squad at 631-854-8252.
“All politics is local.” This expression rings truer today than ever before.
The Framers of the U.S. Constitution envisioned a system of federalism for the United States — one in which the national government was assigned a select number of well-defined powers, with all other powers not delegated by the Constitution reserved to the states. Over the course of American history, however, more and more powers have been delegated to the federal government.
Right now, we are witnessing a turning point in a century-long power struggle between the federal government and the states. Democratic presidents such as Woodrow Wilson, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Lyndon B. Johnson incrementally augmented the size of the federal government and expanded the scope of its powers. After a century of concentrating power in Washington, the U.S. Supreme Court is now undoing that legacy, returning decision-making authority to lower levels of government.
Two recent SCOTUS opinions have dramatically altered the balance of power in this country. The court ruled in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization that the Constitution does not confer a right to abortion. In New York State Rifle & Pistol Association Inc. v. Bruen, the court overruled New York State’s proper-cause licensing requirement for concealed carry of a handgun, making it harder for New York and other states to regulate concealed carry.
The one interconnecting theme of both of these decisions is that the federal government is yielding much of its power to the states, putting greater pressure on state and local governments to make decisions on behalf of the people.
No longer are the days of FDR, who saw the federal government as the vehicle to drive the national economy with his New Deal. No longer are the days of LBJ, whose Great Society program sought to eliminate poverty and racial disparities using the federal government as its engine. In this post-Roe America, the power of the federal government is waning, taken out of its hands and placed in the hands of the states.
There are some possible benefits to the decentralization of federal power. For starters, this may reduce voter polarization and division in the United States. With fewer decision-making powers, the stakes will be reduced for congressional and presidential elections. While national security and interstate commerce will always be the domain of the federal government, a host of domestic issues may soon return to the states, meaning state and local elections may soon carry much greater weight.
As power shifts away from the federal government and into our backyards, local residents must maintain an active interest in their state and local legislatures as these bodies will be deciding upon the issues that matter the most. Citizens can — and should — stay informed by reading their local newspapers, where information on these matters is most accessible. And they should remember to write letters to the editor because this remains a tried-and-true method to reach and persuade one’s fellow citizens.
Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Fourth Squad detectives are
seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the man who stole a wallet in Lake Grove
in May.
A man stole a wallet containing credit cards from a shopping cart inside of Trader Joes,
located at 2085 Moriches Road, on May 19 at approximately 12:30 p.m.
Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an
arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime
Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS, utilizing a mobile app
which can be downloaded through the App Store or Google Play by searching P3 Tips, or
online at www.P3Tips.com. All calls, text messages and emails will be kept confidential.
Sebastian (Derek Hough) serenades Prince Eric (Brody Hampson) and Ariel (Dori Ahlgrim) in 'Kiss the Girl'. Photo from SPAC
By Heidi Sutton
This summer, families will have the opportunity to swim under the sea with Ariel and all her friends as the Smithtown Center for the Performing Arts presents one of Disney’s most beloved classics, The Little Mermaid Jr.
From the moment you step into the historic theater you know you are in for a real treat. Decorated with shells and coral, the lobby beckons visitors to an afternoon of live theater as little Ariels and fellow princesses make their way to their seats. The set is equally impressive, with long blue panels affixed with coral and netting representing the kingdom of Atlantica. Once the show begins, every flawless scene delights with wonderful acting, singing and dancing by a cast of 20 young budding actors. Sitting in the balcony, I kept thinking how this could easily be a main stage production.
Ariel (Dori Ahlgrim) sings ‘Part of Your World’. Photo from SPAC
With music by Alan Menken, book by Doug Wright and lyrics by Howard Ashman and Glenn Slater, the show, which opened last Saturday afternoon, begins with the seafaring number “Fathoms Below” and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats until the very end.
Directed and choreographed by Ryan Nolin, with musical direction by Robbie Torres, the story centers around Princess Ariel, the youngest mermaid daughter of King Triton, who is obsessed with the world above and longs to trade in her fish tail for a pair of legs, much to the dismay of her father.
When she falls in love with Prince Eric, Ariel strikes a bargain with her aunt, the evil sea witch Ursula, to become human. There is a catch however — Ariel must give up her voice and Eric must fall in love with her in three days or she will lose her soul forever. With the help of her best friend Flounder, the court composer Sebastian the crab, and a seagull named Scuttle, Ariel sets off to follow her heart. But things do not go as planned.
Ariel (Dori Ahlgrim) and Prince Eric (Brody Hampson) in a scene from the play. Photo from SPAC
Dori Ahlgrim is perfectly cast as the free spirited Ariel. With a beautiful singing voice, her solo, “Part of Your World” brings the house down. As Prince Eric, Brody Hampson holds his own with the endearing number “One Step Closer” where he teaches a mute Ariel how to dance.
Molly Sanges is wonderful as Ariel’s best friend Flounder and Gianna Oppedisano is a delightful Scuttle in “Human Stuff.”
Special mention must also be made of Derek Hough as the crabby crustacean Sebastian who shines in the big dance numbers “Under the Sea” with mermaids and jellyfish and “Kiss the Girl” in a race against time as the sun goes down.
The big number ‘Under the Sea’. Photo from SPAC
Other standout performances include Jenna Hammelman as the heartless Ursula who belts out a superb rendition of “Poor Unfortunate Souls” and Gabby Blum and Kieran Brown as the slippery slithering electric eels Jetsam and Flotsam who show up when least expected to create havoc. In the second act, Luke Hampson, French accent and all, gives a hilarious performance as Chef Louis in “Les Poissons.”
Costumes by Liz Honig are on point, from the black and white sailors costumes to the bright, bold and sparkly mermaid outfits. The set, along with King Triton’s kingdom, switches flawlessly from Ariel’s grotto to Ursula’s lair to Prince Eric’s castle. Kudos to the set production team. As an added bonus, a large screen in the background changes with the scenery and adds a third dimension to the story.
Members of the cast will stay after the show for photos and shell wands and tiaras are sold in the lobby. Proceeds from the merchandise will benefit the restoration of the historic theater.
The Cast: Brody Hampson, Ari Spiegel, Ryan Romanelli, Derek Hough, Marilena Castoro, Selin Kazdal, Hannah Waller, Alia Romanelli, Emmerson Lebrecht, Nicole Sasbon, Molly Sanges, Dori Ahlgrim, Gianna Oppedisano, Gabby Blum, Kieran Brown, Jenna Hammelman, Luke Hampson, Allison Heidrich, Michael Gualtieri and Alexa Oliveto
The Smithtown Center for the Performing Arts, 2 E. Main St., Smithtown presents Disney’s The Little Mermaid Jr. through July 24. Costumes are encouraged. Running time is one hour and 30 minutes. Tickets are $25 per person. For more information or to order, visit www.smithtownpac.org.
Suffolk County Police Fourth Squad detectives are investigating a crash that killed a man in Hauppauge on July 7.
Stephan Tiarks was driving a 2011 Buick northbound on Wheeler Road when his vehicle collided with a 2016 Mazda sedan at the intersection with Motor Parkway. The Buick continued northbound and overturned into the parking lot of the BP gas station, located at 204 Wheeler Road
Tiarks, 58, of Saint James, was transported to South Shore University Hospital in Bay Shore where he was pronounced dead.
The driver of the Mazda, Magda Ramotowska, 27, of Sayville, and a passenger in the Buick, Laura Donaghy, 61, of Saint James, were also transported to South Shore University Hospital for treatment of minor injuries.
Both vehicles were impounded for safety checks.
Detectives are asking anyone with information to call the Fourth Squad at 631-854-8452.
Amid picturesque weather, a convoy of fire trucks, tractors, music and dance groups and assorted vehicles marched through the streets of Port Jefferson for this year’s annual Fourth of July parade.
Hosted by the local fire department, the procession included a large collection of first responders. Joining PJFD were fire departments and ambulance corps representing Terryville, Setauket, Mount Sinai and Centereach, among many others.
Also in attendance were dance groups that twirled and danced between fire units. In a strong display of patriotism, various community groups, volunteer organizations and hospital employees made appearances as well.
Hundreds of spectators lined the village blocks to watch the spectacle as it unfolded during the late morning. The parade lasted nearly two hours in its entirety.
Iread bumper stickers, buttons, fortune cookies and messages on T-shirts. They are a form of poetry that captures a moment, an approach, an attitude, and a message in fewer words than some of the soupier birthday cards.
Like birthday cards, sometimes these messages work, are amusing, evoke a reaction, or make me laugh for intentional and unintentional reasons.
In the modern world, in which so many interactions seem less than optimal or contrary to the intentions, I have some suggested messages that reflect the current state of customer service and civility, or lack thereof.
— Please don’t interrupt. I’m in the middle of looking busy. When I started working many years ago, someone told me to balance between looking busy and being under control. She suggested I walk quickly and purposefully, even if just to the bathroom, to suggest that I’m too busy to tackle something new that might involve lots of administrative work.
— Yes, I am talking to you. Those of you old enough to have seen the Robert De Niro film “Raging Bull” will understand this one instantly. This message captures the prevalence of confrontations.
— I have no idea what’s good. I don’t eat here. Diners often ask waiters and waitresses, “what’s good.” More often than not, they tell people what’s popular dishes or their specials. The subtext here is that some of them don’t, can’t or wouldn’t eat where you’re eating, especially after spending considerable time in the kitchen.
— Everything and nothing is special today. Keeping with the dining theme, while blending in some grade inflation, waiters could provide something philosophical for their diners to consume.
— I believe in building suspense. The assignment, the job, or even the entree may be later than someone wanted. This message could suggest the tardiness was deliberate and was designed to enhance appreciation and add drama. So, you’re welcome.
— Sure, you can ask. I like the buttons people wear at Yankees games that encourage fans to ask a question. On a day when these customer service professionals are feeling tired or hung over, they could don messages that encourage people to move along or to figure out how to drive home to Pennsylvania from the Bronx on their own.
— How can I appear to help you? Life is all about optics. Yes, we should be helping and yes, people are paid to help each other, in person, on phone and on the Internet. Sometimes, the person (or artificial intelligence programs) that is offering assistance isn’t delivering much.
— I brought my own questions, thanks. I would love it if a politician wore this button to a debate. On one level, it could suggest the candidate has questions that are hopefully substantive for his or her opponent. On the other, it could be an honest way of acknowledging the disconnect between a question about the environment and an answer about the person’s commitment to family.
— What can you do for me? This is a way of turning the tables, literally, on a hostile or inappropriate customer. It also discourages people from asking too much of someone who is not eager to deliver.
— Is there anything else I can’t do for you? I’ve been on numerous calls with people who haven’t done anything, particularly when dealing with traveling details, who then ask if there’s anything else they can help me with. When they haven’t helped me with the first question, it’s hard to imagine they can help with a second. A more honest message might suggest that they also anticipate not being able to provide any help with a second problem or question.
— What did you get me for my birthday? People often want, or expect, something, even from strangers, on their birthday. They don’t often consider that the person from whom they expect service, help or extra treatment had a birthday they likely missed.