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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Parenthood is filled with excrement, poop, and waste products. Call it what you will. It’s true.

We start out with this adorable lump of human flesh. And, for many of us, an anxiety that grows at a rate that far outstrips the pace at which the little person grows.

Wait? What! The baby was born at eight pounds. It’s now seven pounds? We must be screwing up. What are we doing wrong? Can I get someone on the phone immediately to explain what’s happening and how to fix it? No, I can’t wait.

Of course, we don’t know how good we have it until we enter the next stage. If, for example, our baby is drinking breast milk, its poop smells like roses and cherry blossoms on a beautiful, windy day compared with the cesspool stink that pours out of them once they start eating solid food or, heaven forbid, they get the Coxsackie virus.

But, of course, once you realize the magnificence of that early mild smell, it’s gone and you’re left trying to figure out how to get the particles of poop out from creases and crevices without causing discomfort to the small person whose sole mode of expression seems to be to cry and complain without end.

“Oh, that’s such a healthy cry,” they’ll say. “He’s a strong lad.”

“Oh, shut up! And stop calling her a lad.”

So, why am I writing about parenthood? Did I suddenly have to change 200 diapers last weekend?

No, you see, we’re about to welcome the first new member of our extended family in decades. Yeah, of course, we’re all excited and yes, I’m going to have the chance to be a great uncle when, up to now, I’ve been something between a regular uncle and perhaps an indulgent and slightly playful version of a run-of-the-mill uncle.

But, wow, our nephew’s wife is due any second, which kind of pushes us up the generational ladder.

We have heard about all the people of our nephew’s generation who are putting off or perhaps even ruling out parenthood.

But we also know that people are still having children and that those children are the ultimate form of optimism.

Sure, new parents, even if they’ve read 100 books, might not be completely prepared for every scenario. 

We went to all those Lamaze classes years ago around now as we prepared for the birth of our first child. And, you know what? They didn’t help one iota. Those classes were like giving us a toy steering wheel on a roller coaster. We could turn it however we wanted, but it wouldn’t affect the crazy ride that made us feel like our stomachs were going to drop out of our bodies on the next hair-raising turn.

If anyone actually thought about all the things they had to do as parents — staying up with a sick kid, worrying where those children are, thinking about all the germs that might hurt them (okay, I’m OCD, I admit it) — it’d be hard to prepare for, imagine and deal with the potential challenges. Most parenting playbooks are like New Year’s resolutions. Yeah, you’d like to be patient and even tempered, maybe lose some weight, sleep better, and all that good stuff, but things get in the way, including ourselves.

When you have a child, you not only have to worry about your sons and daughters, but you also have to manage the two or more families that always know better and whose ideas of everything from the right clothing to wear with variable temperatures to the right way to hold them to any of a host of other choices are likely different.

You can’t please everyone, including your relatives and the little crying, pooping child that doesn’t have work to do tomorrow and wants company late at night until he or she is ready to fall asleep.

Ultimately, parenting is a leap of faith. We all have to deal with craziness, discomfort, sleep deprivation and an uneasiness that comes from not knowing what to do next. And yet, during the best moments, when they’re truly happy, when that giggle bubbles out of them, massaging your ears and bringing a smile to your face, you realize what a spectacular privilege, excrement and all, parenting truly is. 

We get to see and share life with people whose thoughts, ideas, and resilience inspire us and, somewhere along the way, encourage us to share the best versions of ourselves.

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Members of the Sophia Valsamos Foundation with staff from the Northport-East Northport school district. Photo courtesy the Northport-East Northport school district

By Sabrina Artusa

Mental illnesses claim thousands of adolescents and young adults each year. Chris Valsamos, founder of The Sophia Valsamos Foundation, is dedicated to enabling this vulnerable demographic with the skills to navigate the tempestuous reality of being a teenager in the era of social media and cyberbullying.

Valsamos lost his 13-year-old daughter Sophia to suicide in 2017. He realized that mental health is still not normalized in schools — that shame, ridicule and judgment are still associated with asking for help. Through his foundation, he aims to create an environment where mental services are incorporated both into classrooms and at home. He and his foundation launched wellness kits filled with items carefully chosen to normalize mental services by making them accessible. 

“There is a lot of red tape involved with programming. With the wellness kits we were able to reach past the red tape,” Valsamos said, adding that the foundation is his way to “honor” Sophia by providing “as many tools as possible.” 

“We wanted to help them manage stress, some of the components help them build resilience, and some components help them manage stress throughout their day,” he said.

This includes mindfulness cards, a stress ball, a “calm the chaos” journal and books like “Anxiety Relief for Teens” and “Stuff That Sucks” that include cognitive behavioral therapy strategies for building resilience. The kits also provide ways teachers can integrate the items into the classroom. Valsamos and president of The Sophia Valsamos Foundation Keith Senzer imagine exercises where students work on a prompt from the journal and discuss as a class. 

The Northport-East Northport Union Free School District received the kits a month ago. Teachers have the option to utilize the contents as a class, perhaps by initiating discussion and integrating mindfulness exercises into the daily routine. 

 “If you have a group you are breaking the stigma,” said school social worker Anthony Ferrandino. “Everyone has these social emotional issues. Everyone has stress…if your peers are currently sharing stuff, you’ll reduce things like bullying and feeling judged or alienated.” Instead, he added, “it is the exact opposite of that. Students are growing together.”

Senzer, Valsamos and Ferrandino emphasize the parental support to reinforce the beneficial resilience skills students will learn in schools. While it is important to initiate conversation about mental health, teenagers may not want to talk with their guardian. If a parent is observing warning signs of declining mental health, like if a child is locking themselves in their room or losing interest in socializing or in their hobbies, it can be helpful to ask another trusted adult in their circle to help. This could be an aunt, a coach or a teacher. 

Parents should be diligent. Adolescent suicide or mental illness “is unthinkable as a parent,” said Senzer. “So why would we think it?” 

The kits are just one of many programs offered by The Sophia Valsamos Foundation.

Additionally, teaching your child how to be there for their peers has proved to be invaluable. Ferrandino said students come to him about a friend who may need help more often than teachers do about a student.

“It is about changing the entire culture — the educators, the administrators, the security guards, the bus drivers. It is a whole culture shift where everyone there is understanding the importance of emotional regulation, how to manage [it], how to support one another, how to be kind and empathetic and caring toward one another,” Senzer said. “Once we raise that generation, we can change the world that way. These kits are amazing on their own but they are just step one to broadening our horizons.”

For more information visit the foundation website: www.tsvf.org.

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Suffolk County Legislators Tom Donnelly (D-Deer Park) and Rebecca Sanin (D-Huntington Station), in conjunction with Suffolk County Fire, Rescue & Emergency Services, will host a free Emergency Preparedness Seminar for Citizens on Thursday, June 5, 2025, from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. at Dix Hills Fire Department Station 1, located at 590 Deer Park Avenue in Dix Hills.

As hurricane season approaches, the seminar offers residents and families an opportunity to learn how to prepare for severe weather and other emergency situations. The one-hour session is open to all and requires no registration. Light refreshments will be provided.

Topics covered will include:

  • Extreme weather awareness
  • Personal and family preparedness
  • Emergency alerts and notifications
  • What to do during emergencies
  • Suffolk County’s disaster response plans

For more information, please contact Legislator Donnelly’s office at (631) 854-4433 or Legislator Sanin’s office at (631) 854-5100.

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Pixabay photo

By Frank Artusa

Try asking your Alexa, Siri, Google Assistant or any smart home device a similar question and you will get some variation of response assuring you that your privacy is important and the queried device is most certainly not spying on you. But how do these supposedly omniscient household oracles know to respond to their respective “wake” words if they’re not indeed listening to every sound wave to grace their diabolically helpful little speakers?

One thing is clear, these devices are indeed monitoring their local environments for all ambient and discrete vocal communications. Manufacturers of these devices, however, have repeatedly stated that no information is collected aside from the user instructions after activation with a wake word or phrase. This is when the device enters an active listening state of operation. Even if only post-wake word data is captured, the question is; what exactly happens to that data on backend servers? 

In 2019, Amazon admitted to employing personnel to listen to customer’s voice commands, albeit to help train and improve the Echo device and algorithm. Amazon in particular has recently changed the way data is handled. Previously, users were given the option to process requests on the local device, but as of March 28, all collected data will be sent to Amazon’s cloud environment for processing. This represents a significant potential opportunity for abuse of private data.

Trusting personal data to these tech behemoths can be a challenge, especially when data collection and selling is so lucrative since the information can be used for targeted advertising and other uses. Data brokers, organizations that buy and sell personal data about individuals, are estimated to earn over 200 billion per year worldwide and the industry continues to grow markedly year after year. They not only leverage personal data to assist advertisers, but this data is also used by retailers, credit agencies, employers and political groups. A big part of the problem is the erosion of consent when agreeing to use these devices. Buyers are faced with a barrage of privacy policies and end user agreements that are usually agreed to with a quick mouse click or touch of a phone screen.

Now with the advent of Generative Artificial Intelligence (GAI) and Large Language Model technologies like ChatGPT, Google’s Gemini, Meta’s LLaMA and Apple’s expected enhancement to Siri, these devices will become even more robust and likely increasingly involved in day to day lives. One example is the significant growth in how GAI based tools are augmenting mental health services, particularly when individuals don’t have access to resources, funding, or health care coverage needed to visit an actual therapist. The adoption of this service and technology is a boon to individuals needing access to therapeutic services even if on a rudimentary level, but the privacy concerns associated with the capture of deeply personal and intimate information are significant.

Governments recognize the problem and have begun taking steps to mitigate the issue surrounding the exposure of personal digital information. Europe’s General Data Protection Regulation and California’s Consumer Privacy Act are two such examples of efforts being made to give control back to individuals. Ultimately, as society increasingly embraces smart technology and more sophisticated devices become available, individuals must weigh the benefits to quality of life against the potential exposure and misuse of sensitive information. 

Until privacy is the default and not the fine print, we’d all be wise to treat our smart assistants like strangers in the room.

Frank Artusa, a resident of Smithtown, is a current cybersecurity professional and retired FBI Special Agent.

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SBU Graduation 2025. Photo by Isabel Epstein

On May 23, Stony Brook University celebrated the graduation of over 7,600 students, including those from bachelors, masters and doctoral programs at the 65th annual commencement ceremony. This year and every year we recognize and appreciate the effort and commitment required to finish degrees at one of the nation’s leading research institutions, with distinguished programs ranging from the biological sciences and engineering to creative writing and the fine arts. 

The way we define “success” in attending and finishing college is more than the common metric of leaving with straight A’s, awards, or the lucky problem of struggling to pose for a photo that captures each and every cord draped proudly about graduate  necks: it is also characterized by the new beginnings inspired by inspirations mined from hard work, passion and encouragement from our mentors and peers. Success is also defined by the barriers which students overcame including for those international, exchange or otherwise underrepresented student populations who have defied the odds. Their failures, shortcomings and mistakes are equally as important in the road to success as those colorful, exuberant representations of mastery are.

Stony Brook University’s reputation may appear intimidating, with a rigorous curriculum, a robust research enterprise and a productive doctoral degree program. Graduates from Stony Brook University in these trying and complex times require an exceptional level of determination and passion, as well as a curiosity undeterred by hostility towards academic institutions and the societal pressure to fit “in-the-box.” Whether this pressure comes from the media, family, peers or even themselves, students can and should rely on their curiosity and passion; it is just a matter of finding what greases the gears of each of their unique minds. 

Graduates this year overcame a pandemic, may have struggled financially, and may have honored fallen family members this past Memorial Day. Some may have immigrated or were the first members of their family to attend college, while others may have faced discrimination. Fueled by curiosity and grit, these graduates can tackle any problem. We thank Stony Brook’s 2025 graduates for their contributions to the school and to the community. We wish them well and hope they can reflect fondly on their time in our community as they prepare for the challenges of the future.

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The New York State Police are warning the public about an ongoing phone spoofing scam in which scammers impersonate members of law enforcement or government agencies in an attempt to solicit sensitive personal information from individuals across New York State and beyond.

According to a press release on May 30, in recent days individuals have reported receiving phone calls from numbers that appear to be legitimate New York State Police phone lines,Callers falsely claiming to be law enforcement officials have demanded personal information such as Social Security numbers and have threatened punitive action against recipients who refuse to comply.

These calls are fraudulent. The New York State Police and other legitimate government agencies will never call individuals and demand sensitive information or threaten arrest or legal action over the phone.

Phone number spoofing is a tactic commonly used by scammers nationwide to make it appear as if calls are coming from trusted agencies. These scams are designed to create confusion and fear, often leading victims to comply with demands or share information that can be used to commit further fraud.

What You Should Do If You Receive a Suspicious Call:

  1. Do not provide any personal information.
  2. Do not send money or make payments under threat.
  3. Hang up immediately—even if the caller ID appears legitimate.
  4. Save any voicemails and record the phone number if possible.
  5. Verify the call by contacting the agency directly using a trusted number.

The New York State Police urge all residents to remain vigilant and to report any suspicious activity involving impersonation of law enforcement or government agencies.

 

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Photo courtesy of Del Vino Vineyards
Gold, silver and bronze medals awarded to Northport-based winery

Del Vino Vineyards of Northport has announced that several of its wines have received top honors at the prestigious 2025 Mid-Atlantic Winemaker Challenge, earning three Gold Medals, one Silver, and one Bronze, further solidifying its position as a leader in premium winemaking on Long Island’s North Shore.

The vineyard’s 2022 Ultimo, 2023 Sauvignon Blanc — Ventola, and 2023 Orange Blossom wines each received Gold Medals in their respective categories. The 2022 Suprema earned a Silver Medal, while the 2023 Pinot Grigio — Bobina was awarded Bronze.

“These awards are a reflection of our team’s passion, precision, and commitment to the craft,” said Joe Evangelista, Head Winemaker at Del Vino Vineyards. “From vineyard to bottle, every detail matters. We’re thrilled to see our Ultimo and Ventola recognized with top honors. 

“It’s especially exciting to see our Orange Blossom recognized—it’s a brand-new varietal we introduced last year, and it was an instant hit during the summer season. As far as we know, we’re the only vineyard on the East Coast producing wine from these grapes,” he added.

“This recognition means everything to us,” said Fred Giachetti, owner of Del Vino Vineyards. “We’ve always believed that Northport could be home to world-class wines, and these awards are a testament to that belief. We’re incredibly grateful to our community, our team, and every guest who supports us year after year.”

The Mid-Atlantic Winemaker Challenge is a blind-tasting competition judged by industry experts and sommeliers, showcasing the best wines from across the region.

Award-winning bottles are now available at the vineyard’s tasting room and can also be enjoyed during regular dining hours.

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Heather Lunch, professor in SBU’s Department of Ecology and Evolution, speaking at the May meeting of the League of Women Voters at Comsewogue Library. Photo by Sabrina Artusa

By Sabrina Artusa

For a research-focused doctoral university like Stony Brook University, federal cuts to grant funding creates uncertainty for research faculty relying on the money either for potential projects or current ones. 

As one of only 187 universities in the nation designated as having a very high research spending and doctorate production, according to Carnegie Classification, the university is highly active in academic research. 

Funding is commonly sponsored by federal departments like the Department of Defense, the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation and NASA. Federal sponsors account for the majority of funding for research awards – over 50% of research and development in higher education fields was financed by the federal government according to 2021 NSF data. 

Salaries and staff

This money not only supports the faculty at R1 schools whose priority is research and are classified as having Very High Research Activity, but also the various other components of the project such as materials, postdoctorate students, graduate students and overhead. Stony Brook University Professor in the Department of Ecology and Evolution Heather Lynch likens research to “running a small business.” Indeed, principal investigators (PI) are usually responsible for the salaries of the research scientists and postdocs working below them. 

In a 2022 letter, Stony Brook University leadership revised the salary ranges for postdoc researchers. They write, “We understand that many postdoc and research scientist positions are supported by externally sponsored awards, which are typically fixed in their total amount, and therefore salary increases are subject to the availability of funds.”

Some faculty are paid by the university in 9- or 6-month appointments. These researchers are then responsible for supplementing their salary for the rest of the year through grant funding. Since research is the primary function of their position at R1 universities – teaching is secondary – Lynch said that she and other faculty are responsible for supplementing their salary through grants. “The PI is not out there necessarily wanting to take on more research, but you have a lot of employees working for you and you want to keep them employed, so you are constantly hustling,” Lynch said.

Researchers that are part of university faculty receive a base salary; however, it is typical that “soft money” staff, usually medical researchers who don’t do much teaching, do not receive any salary from the university they work for and have to pay themselves through grants. 

Due to the loss of funding, many researchers, postdocs and graduate students are considering leaving the U.S. to pursue their studies. According to a Nature  poll, around three-quarters of over the 1,500 postgraduates, grad students and scientists that answered were exploring international opportunities, as of March. 

Some grant programs were specifically intended for young researchers. Now, universities are limiting their acceptance of graduate students as they reorient resources to support current students amid the diminished indirect cost funding.

Impact of research

Grants usually take months to create; in addition to detailing the project plan, research strategy  and the equipment needed, the document can have broader impact sections, which usually includes the opportunities for engagement for underrepresented groups. With the expiring of DEI, “they changed the way broader impacts are defined,” Lynch said. Key DEI words relating to gender or words leading to blocks, even for research already in progress. 

The scrupulous application process includes eliminating any potential conflicts of interest, which includes anyone the principal investigator has worked with the previous 48 months. Then, a panel of experts meet to study and analyze the proposal. For a proposal Lynch created, she assembled a list amounting to over 180 conflicts of interest. The process is designed to prevent bias or corruption.

Lynch believes cuts were enabled by a societal misunderstanding of the value that lies in the research. Obscure to the less scientifically-versed, these projects aren’t often recognized for their discoveries, at least not in wide public spheres. 

Having been  a PI herself, Lynch has done environmental research on Antarctic penguins that won her a Golden Goose Award for federally funded and underrecognized research that had tremendous impact in scientific communities, potentially paving the way for further discoveries and innovations. Other Golden Goose winners include a team whose research led to artificial intelligence advancements. 

“These grants are not a gift, they are payments for services,“ Lynch said.

Indirect costs

Funding dedicated to operating the university and thereby enabling this research are factored into the proposal under facilities and administrative rates, otherwise known as indirect costs. Direct costs include salaries and equipment – costs that are necessary for the specific project. Indirect costs are specific to the university; therefore, each project that is associated with the school and is benefiting from its services must include an additional amount that goes back to the school.  

The rate was capped at 15% by the NIH, DOE and NSF. The NIH and DOE caps are enacted retroactively. The cap is universal across the country. Previously, indirect cost rates varied depending on the university. R1 universities, which typically have larger research facilities, had higher rates. Stony Brook had a rate of 56%, and previously applied for rate renewals with the Department of Health and Human Services. 

IDC limited the amount researchers can use while raising the overall grant request. Previously, researchers complained about this, but now, Lynch said “these IDC rates mean you are not going to have money to maintain equipment, you are going to have to reduce staff to core faculties, you will not be able to build new research faculties, you will have to fire people who do permits and lab safety.”

“These cuts can make it very hard for these PIs like myself to keep postdocs and graduate students paid, and these layoffs in the talent pipeline will create long-term damage to our scientific competitiveness,” Lynch said. She said she does not speak on behalf of the university. 

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The U.S. Attorney’s Office announced on May 30 that the manager of a Melville-based company was indicted on charges of wire fraud and money laundering.

Tony Ream, 33,  of Greenville, S.C. was a credit supervisor for a worldwide distributor of medical and dental supplies with its principal place of business in Melville, New York.  Over the course of four years, Ream, Ream, also known as “Tony Ream-Hendley” and “Tony Moul Ream,” allegedly sent wire transfers totaling approximately $1.6 million from the Company’s bank account to a bank account that he controlled.

“As alleged, Ream is a thief who abused his authority and betrayed his employer to fund his lifestyle, including paying for the renovations of a restaurant he opened, footing the bill for his own wedding, and traveling around the world, all on the company’s dime,” stated United States Attorney Nocella in a press release. “Embezzling company funds is a serious crime and my Office will vigorously prosecute this case to ensure Ream is held accountable for his brazen scheme.”

“Tony Ream allegedly embezzled over one million dollars from his former company by diverting corporate funds to his personal account and deceiving his subordinates into perpetuating this theft,” stated FBI Assistant Director in Charge Raia. “Ream allegedly abused his position and stole from his former company to fund his extravagant expenses.  The FBI remains committed to investigating any individual who orchestrates a scheme to exploit their company to finance personal wish lists.”

As set forth in court filings and statements made in court, Ream was hired by the Melville company in 2019 to work in their credit department. Starting in 2020 as a credit supervisor, Ream stole corporate funds from customer refund accounts and diverted the funds to his own accounts.  Additionally, while in his role as supervisor, it is alleged that Ream deceived employees whom he supervised into taking steps that assisted him in carrying out his fraudulent scheme. Ream spent tens of thousands of dollars of the proceeds of his fraud on his wedding, hundreds of thousands on a failed restaurant venture in South Carolina, and tens of thousands on luxury international vacations.

If convicted, Ream faces up to 20 years in prison.

 

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Tommy Smith of Huntington try to impede the progress of Luke Loiacono. Photo by Steven Zaitz
Northport boy's lacrosse vs. Huntington on May 27, 2025. Photo by Steven Zaitz
Northport boy's lacrosse vs. Huntington on May 27, 2025. Photo by Steven Zaitz
Gavin O’Brien maneuvers around the net with Patrick Hassett watching him. Photo by Steven Zaitz
Jack Deliberi (left) and Shamus Burke celebrate Deliberti’s fourth quarter goal. Photo by Steven Zaitz

By Steven Zaitz

Senior attackman Jack Deliberti scored six times to lead Northport boys lacrosse to victory over Huntington in the Suffolk County Division I semi-finals on May 27. The final score was 17-9.

The Tigers, seeded second in Suffolk, used a big third quarter, outscoring the Blue Devils 5-2 and open up a 12-6 lead going into the fourth quarter. Northport goalkeeper Gavin Stabile made several sparkling saves, especially in the second half, to hold off Huntington who had 22 shots on goal. Stabile made 13 saves.

Northport attackman Gavin O’Brien had three goals and four assists and Greyson Cabrera and Logan Cash each had six total points for Northport. Tommy Kline and Jack Kamenstein had two goals apiece for third-seeded Huntington, as Blue Devils goalie Will Fallon made nine saves.

Northport will now get an opportunity to avenge last year’s heartbreaking 9-8 loss to Half Hollow Hill in the Suffolk County final. Hills’ record is a perfect 18-0 this year. Northport is 16-2, with their only conference loss coming at the hands of Hills, 16-14, back on April 30. Huntington ends their year at 14-4.

Hills is led by Anthony Raio, who broke the all-time individual goal-scoring record on Tuesday in a 20-9 victory vs. Smithtown East in the other semi-final game. Raio, a senior, scored six times and now has 271 goals in his career, breaking the record held by Matt Triolo, who is currently a senior at John Glenn High School in the Elwood School District.

The championship game will be played this Saturday, May 31 at East Islip Middle School. 

— All photos by Steve Zaitz

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