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By Nancy Burner Esq.

Nancy Burner, Esq.

Executing a Last Will and Testament with an attorney is an important step in deciding and planning your legacy. However, this does not mean that all is solved upon one’s death. It is important that the client and future executor understands the process of probate and the necessary requirements of the court system. 

Probate is the legal procedure by which your assets pass upon your death. When a person dies with a will, the nominated executor must file a probate petition with the Surrogate’s Court in the county in which the decedent lived. This is necessary to be officially appointed by the court so that the executor can distribute property or assets left by the decedent. 

First, the executor files the original will, a certified copy of the death certificate, and the probate petition in Surrogate’s Court. Then, notice needs to be given to the decedent’s next-of-kin who would have inherited had there not been a will. The next of kin will either sign waivers and consents in agreement or issue a citation to appear in court to have the opportunity to object to the will. Often a family tree affidavit needs to be filed by an independent person who knows the family history. 

After jurisdiction is complete and any issues with the will addressed, the Surrogate’s Court will issue a decree granting probate. The judge issues Letters Testamentary giving the executor authority to act. These Letters Testamentary serves as the physical paperwork for the executor to carry out distributions of the estate. 

When a person dies without a will (intestate), it is necessary to file an Administration Petition with the Surrogate’s Court. Here, a close relative of the decedent applies to become the decedent’s Administrator. The assets pass to blood relatives according to statute. The Court will then issue Letters of Administration appointing them Administrator. As with a probate proceeding, all interested parties must be given notice and either sign a waiver or served with a citation issued by the court. Sometimes a kinship hearing is necessary to prove relation to the decedent. 

As you can imagine, the probate process can be costly and time consuming in even the simplest cases. Probate proceedings can drag on for years when distant relatives cannot be located or a relative decides to contest the will. Contested wills can result in litigation proceedings and become draining mentally and financially for those involved. The good news is that probate can be avoided through the use of beneficiary designations and trusts.

Assets held jointly with rights of survivorship pass automatically to the surviving owner upon death. This is common in the case of spouses. Likewise, assets with designated beneficiaries pass to the designated beneficiaries, avoiding probate. Examples of jointly held assets include joint bank accounts and real property owned by spouses. Common assets with designated beneficiaries include retirement accounts and life insurance policies. If you have not named a beneficiary on an account that allows it, these assets must go through probate. Of course, not every type of asset allows a beneficiary designation. 

Another way to avoid probate is by creating a living trust. While there are many different types of living trusts, most can hold assets such as bank accounts, real estate, businesses, and personal belongings. For example, a revocable living trust is primarily used to avoid probate. You, as the grantor, would be both the trustee and beneficiary during your lifetime. You would add a successor trustee to take over if you became incapacitated and upon your death. This successor trustee can seamlessly take over management of the trust property and no court proceedings are necessary. 

Keep in mind, any assets owned by a revocable or irrevocable trust will simply pass according to the terms of the trust, free from court interference. Certain trusts also allow a trustee to control assets if one becomes incapacitated.  

One size does not fit all when it comes to trust planning. It is important to discuss the best option for you and your loved one with an attorney who specializes in this area of the law and can explain the pros and cons of trusts, probate and more. 

Nancy Burner, Esq. is the founder and managing partner at Burner Law Group, P.C. with offices located in East Setauket, Westhampton Beach, New York City and East Hampton.

Julianne Mosher captured these scenes at the 2023 Seaside Hunter Derby at Old Field Farm in Setauket on June 18. The event was held in conjunction with Gallery North’s 19th annual Wet Paint Festival, giving over 40 artists much inspiration for their plein air painting.

Send your Photo of the Week to [email protected]

Pixabay photo

By Michael Christodoulou

Most investors are aware of the different types of stocks: big-company, small-company, technology, international and so on. And it may be a good idea to own a mix of these stocks as part of your overall investment portfolio. But the importance of diversification applies to bonds, too — so, how should you go about achieving it?

To begin with, individual bonds fall into three main types: municipal, corporate and government. Within these categories, you’ll find differences in the bonds being issued. For example, government bonds include conventional, fixed-rate Treasury bonds as well as inflation-protected ones, along with bonds issued by government agencies, such as the Federal National Mortgage Association (or Fannie Mae). Corporate bonds are differentiated from each other by several factors, but one important one is the interest rate they pay, which is largely determined by the credit quality of the issuer. (The higher the rating grade — AAA, AA and so on — the lower the interest rate; higher-rated bonds pose less risk to investors and therefore pay less interest.)

Municipal bonds, too, are far from uniform. These bonds are issued by state and local governments to build or improve infrastructure, such as airports, highways, hospitals and schools. Generally, municipal bonds are exempt from federal tax and often state and local taxes, too. However, because of this tax benefit, municipal bonds typically pay lower interest rates than many corporate bonds.

How can you use various types of bonds to build a diversified bond portfolio? One method is to invest in mutual funds that invest primarily in bonds. By owning a mix of corporate, government and municipal bond funds, you can gain exposure to much of the bond world. Be aware, though, that bond funds, like bonds themselves, vary widely in some respects. To illustrate: Some investors may choose a low-risk, low return approach by investing in a bond fund that only owns Treasury securities, while other investors might strive for higher returns — and accept greater risk — by investing in a higher-yield, but riskier bond fund.

But you can also diversify your bond holdings by owning a group of individual bonds with different maturities: short-, intermediate- and long-term. This type of diversification can help protect you against the effects of interest-rate movements, which are a driving force behind the value of your bonds — that is, the amount you could sell them for if you chose to sell them before they matured. When market interest rates rise, the price of your existing, lower-paying bonds will fall, and when rates drop, your bonds will be worth more.

But by building a “ladder” of bonds with varying maturities, you can take advantage of different interest-rate environments. When market rates are rising, you can reinvest your maturing, shorter-term bonds at the new, higher rates. And when market rates are low, you’ll still have your longer-term bonds working for you. (Generally, though not always, longer-term bonds pay higher rates than shorter-term ones.)

A bond ladder should be consistent with your investment objectives, risk tolerance and financial circumstances. But if it’s appropriate for your needs, it could be a valuable tool in diversifying your bond holdings. And while diversification — in either stocks or bonds — can’t always guarantee success or avoid losses, it remains a core principle of successful investing.

Michael Christodoulou, ChFC®, AAMS®, CRPC®, CRPS® is a Financial Advisor for Edward Jones in Stony Brook. Member SIPC.

Fancy sea salts are not better than regular salt. METRO photo

By David Dunaief, M.D.

Dr. David Dunaief

Sodium and high blood pressure are often linked in our minds. But what if we don’t have high blood pressure? Does our salt intake matter? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 90 percent of Americans consume too much sodium – and it’s not just about our risk for high blood pressure (1).

Why does sodium matter?

Of course, excessive sodium in our diets increases our risk of high blood pressure (hypertension), which has consequences like stroke and heart disease.

Now comes the interesting part. Even if we don’t have high blood pressure, sodium can impact our kidney function. In the Nurses’ Health Study, approximately 3,200 women were evaluated in terms of kidney function, looking at the estimated glomerular filtration rate (GFR) as related to sodium intake (2). Over 14 years, those with a daily sodium intake of 2,300 mg had a much greater chance of a 30 percent or more reduction in kidney function when compared to those who consumed 1,700 mg per day.

Kidneys are an important part of our systems for removing toxins and waste. They are also where many initial high blood pressure medications work, including ACE inhibitors, such as lisinopril; ARBs, such as Diovan or Cozaar; and diuretics (water pills). If the kidney loses function, it can be harder to treat high blood pressure. Worse, it could lead to chronic kidney disease and dialysis. Once someone has reached dialysis, most blood pressure medications are not very effective.

How much sodium is too much?

Interestingly, the current recommended maximum sodium intake is 2,300 mg per day, or one teaspoon. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve probably noticed that’s the same level that led to negative effects in the study. However, Americans’ average intake is 3,400 mg a day (1).

If we reduced our consumption by even a modest 20 percent, we could reduce the incidence of heart disease dramatically. Current recommendations from the American Heart Association indicate an upper limit of 2,300 mg per day, with an “ideal” limit of no more than 1,500 mg per day (3).

Where we get most of our sodium

Most of our sodium intake comes from processed foods, packaged foods and restaurants, not the saltshaker at home. There is nothing wrong with eating out or ordering in on occasion, but you can’t control how much salt goes into your food. My wife is a great barometer of restaurant salt use. If food from the night before was salty, she complains that her clothes and rings are tight.

Do you want to lose 5 to 10 pounds quickly? Decrease your salt intake. Excess sodium causes the body to retain fluids.

One approach is to choose products that have 200 mg or fewer per serving indicated on the label. Foods labeled “low sodium” have fewer than 140 mg of sodium, but foods labeled “reduced sodium” have 25 percent less than the full-sodium version, which doesn’t necessarily mean much. Soy sauce has 1,000 mg of sodium per tablespoon, but low-sodium soy sauce still has about 600 mg per tablespoon.

Salad dressings and other condiments, where serving sizes are small, add up very quickly. Mustard has 120 mg per teaspoon. Most of us use far more than one teaspoon of mustard. Make sure to read the labels on all packaged foods and sauces very carefully, checking for sodium and for serving size.

Breads and rolls are another hidden source. Most contain a decent amount of sodium. I have seen a single slice of whole wheat bread include up to 200 mg. of sodium. That’s one slice.

Soups are also notoriously high in sodium. There are a few packaged soups on the market that have no sodium, such as some Health Valley soups. You can use these and add your own seasonings. Restaurant soups are a definite “no.”

If you are working to decrease your sodium intake, become an avid label reader. Sodium hides in all kinds of foods that don’t necessarily taste salty, such as cheeses, sweet sauces and salad dressings. I recommend putting all sauces and dressings on the side, so you can control how much — if any — you choose to use.

Is sea salt better than table salt?

Are fancy sea salts better than table salt? High amounts of salt are harmful, and the type is not important. The only difference between them is slight taste and texture variation. I recommend not buying either. In addition to causing health issues, salt tends to dampen your taste buds, masking the flavors of food.

As you reduce your sodium intake, you might be surprised at how quickly your taste buds adjust. In just a few weeks, foods you previously thought didn’t taste salty will seem overwhelmingly so, and you will notice new flavors in unsalted foods.

When seasoning your food at home, use salt-free seasonings, like Trader Joe’s 21 Seasoning Salute or, if you prefer a salty taste, use a salt substitute, like Benson’s Table Tasty.

References:

(1) cdc.gov. (2) Clin J Am Soc Nephrol. 2010;5:836-843. (3) heart.org.

Dr. David Dunaief is a speaker, author and local lifestyle medicine physician focusing on the integration of medicine, nutrition, fitness and stress management. For further information, visit www.medicalcompassmd.com or consult your personal physician.

Volunteer in your community. METRO photo

Over the years, this paper has had the pleasure of telling countless stories of members of our community going out of their way to give back and take the time to volunteer. Readers will see in our papers this week that the Guide Dog Foundation is looking for puppy raisers, surely a rewarding and noble role for animal lovers.

We encourage anyone inspired by that story to, as always, consider volunteering. Realistically, we know that most of us do not have the time and bandwidth to raise a puppy for someone else. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all do our part to make the world a better place. 

Help someone in the grocery store who can’t carry their bags. Offer to shop for an elderly neighbor or simply stop in to check on them. Volunteering can take many of these forms.

Volunteering is meant to benefit others, and that should be the goal. Signing up for something simply to make oneself feel better, or pat oneself on the back won’t benefit anyone. However, it is often us who feel better, fulfilled and rewarded after doing something for others.

We are lucky to live in a prosperous area. Many of us have been fortunate enough to never know the struggle of not being able to feed our families or pay for gas. Several members of our community aren’t that lucky. The old saying, “We rise when lifting others,” applies here. The more time we take to help those less fortunate, the better off we will be.

It can be difficult to find the correct opportunity for volunteering, in trying to figure out what speaks to our passions. Keep a watchful eye in our papers, social media and among our neighbors for new opportunities, and as mentioned make our own. 

To all of the members of our community that already volunteer, we thank you. We know it can be difficult to find time for ourselves, let alone others. We also know that it’s worth it.

As summer comes near, we hope our readers will see volunteerism as another regular activity to do with our kids, and other friends and family. All we need is ourselves. Start by thinking about what drives us, whether that be animals, hunger, children, the arts, education, the environment and so on. Once we establish that, volunteering for a dedicated cause will connect us with other like-minded neighbors, another added benefit to signing up to volunteer.

We hope readers will consider the benefits we have outlined as to exactly what volunteering affords us. We look forward to the possibility of sharing the stories of generous volunteers, old and new.

Above, a photo of Turkana taken from a single engine plane shows the Koobi Fora spit and Lake Turkana alongside a time map. Photo from Bob Raynolds

By Daniel Dunaief

In a wide-ranging interview, Louise Leakey, Director of Public Education and Outreach for the Turkana Basin Institute and a Research Professor in the Department of Anthropology at Stony Brook University shared her thoughts on numerous topics in the field of paleontology.

Louise Leakey at the Richard Leakey Memorial Conference on June 5. Photo by John Griffin/SBU

Leakey, who earned her PhD at the University College London, suggested that the process of finding fossils hasn’t changed that much, although other options beyond scouring a landscape for fragments of the world’s former occupants may be forthcoming.

“It may very well change if we can implement machine learning with high resolution imagery, using drones,” she said. “That’s one of the things we’re looking at the moment.”

What’s really changed, however, is the accuracy field scientists have in marking where, and, importantly, when new discoveries originated, she said.

Geologists like Bob Raynolds, Research Associate at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science, have created time maps that indicate the approximate age of sediments around a fossil in some select areas of the Turkana Basin.

These maps “can be uploaded onto an iPad app for use in the field that shows you in real time where you are on the geological map,” Leakey explained. “This is a game changer for field work in the basin.”

A time map created by Bob Raynolds in collaboration with Geologic Data Systems, a Littleton, Colorado company.

The maps represent the work of many people, Raynolds explained.  Originally, teams of Master’s students used air photographs, tracing paper and ink to make a map. These students spent many weeks walking systematically on the ground and tracing the patterns on the photos.

The rugged and isolated nature of the ground in Northern Kenya makes the work done on foot difficult, Raynolds explained.

The original maps, which were made in the 1970’s, took months to make and were presented as paper copies in unpublished Master’s theses. After numerous enhancements, Raynolds, working with companies including Geologic Data Systems in Littleton, Colorado, created time maps.

The internal GPS on an iPhone enables a blue dot to indicate a person’s location on the map.

“I have worked on the maps to make a new set of derived products that are maps of the age of the rocks,” said Raynolds who created these time maps earlier this year. “The resolution of the time maps is 100,000 years” which is an “astonishingly detailed resolution for us who are accustomed to million year packages of time.”

The maps cover the entire Turkana Basin at various scales, Raynolds added.

More broadly, Bernard Wood, University Professor of Human Origins in the Center for the Advanced Study of Human Paleontology at George Washington University and the first speaker at a recent Stony Brook University conference to honor Richard Leakey, explained that dating fossils has become increasingly accurate.

The first dates of fossils in the KBS Tuff, which is an ash layer in the Koobi Fora Formation east of Lake Turkana, was estimated within 260,000 years of a specific date. Using improved methods, a study published this year has reduced that range to 600 years.

Publishing pace

In the meantime, the pace of publishing has slowed considerably.

“There’s so much more material” that can serve as a frame of reference for new discoveries, Leakey said. “The rate of publication is frustratingly slow for some of these specimens.” This contrasts dramatically with the experience of Leakey’s father Richard.

When the elder Leakey submitted his letters or paper to the prestigious journal Nature, the late editor John Maddox never sent them out for review. “[Maddox] explained that he couldn’t see the point, because they concerned fossils so recently discovered” that few had seen them, Wood explained in his presentation.

Louise Leakey also differed from Richard in earning her bachelor’s degree and PhD, while her father dropped out of high school and never received any additional formal education.

Wood suggested that, next to marrying Meave, the elder Leakey described leaving school as one of the best decisions he’d ever made.

For his daughter, though, Leakey “encouraged me to go and do that,” Louise Leakey said. The education helped “in terms of being able to be [principal investigator] on grant applications,” she said.

Leakey suggested it was a “real privilege to be able to spend time” earning her PhD. She also found that the educational experience gave her the opportunity to “stand on my own two feet” in her research.

Like her father, Louise Leakey is concerned about conservation and declining biodiversity. When she was younger, she saw areas that were teeming with wildlife. On a recent three-hour drive, she only saw a golden jackal and a dik-dik, which is a type of small antelope, compared with the much wider variety of creatures she would have seen decades ago, such as Grévy’s zebra, Burchell zebra, lesser kudu, ostriches, warthogs, topi, gerenuk, oryx and, possibly lions and cheetah. 

She attributes this decline to hunting as some have exterminated these species as result of competition for grazing areas and hunting the animals for meat. Record droughts are also threatening their survival.

Leakey is working with the next generation to get “kids to care about nature” so they can “think about what they’re doing and the real impact it has.”

In addition to preserving biodiversity, Leakey remains passionate about studying the past, which could help the current and future generations tackle climate change. “We might be able to learn lessons” from those who survived during such challenging conditions, she said.

Leakey is able to maintain her involvement and commitment to numerous efforts by working with talented collaborators.

“If you don’t have teams to really hold it together, you can’t do any of it,” she said.

METRO photo

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

Another graduation season is upon us. So many graduates at every level have achieved extraordinary goals. Beyond that they will definitely contribute to making our world a better and safer place to be.

Over the years, I have witnessed firsthand not only our local schools’ academic excellence, but their openness to community service by choice and not by obligation.

Port Jefferson, Comsewogue, Three Village, and Mount Sinai school districts have gone the distance and then some for our students at risk. My collaboration with these school districts in the early years of my work at Hope House has inspired me to stay the course and be a voice for the voiceless. Our mutual focus has always been on empowering students to be the best version of themselves.

Forty-three years ago on the grounds of an Anglican Franciscan monastery in Mount Sinai, Hope House Ministries was founded. We rented their small guesthouse for two years. It was primarily for runaway teenagers who had dropped out of school for a whole host of reasons. Thus began our partnership with the Port Jefferson school district.

Our mission has always been dedicated to reaching out to the most vulnerable and broken within our community. Six years ago we moved back to where it all began and thanks to this 100-year-old five acre monastery grounds, we have been able to expand our outreach to a growing number of young people battling the affliction of addiction and mental health issues.

Two years ago a high school dropout who is a documented immigrant was entrusted to our care at Hope Academy on the grounds of the old monastery in Mount Sinai. He enrolled into Mt Sinai High School. The school community welcomed him with open arms. They made his transition from dropping out of high school in the 10th grade and starting in a new school with no friends a seamless process.

Since beginning at Mount Sinai two years, this young man has played football and soccer. He has spoken in the middle school and in the high school about his journey of transformation. The collaborative spirit between the high school administration and the student body has transformed this young man’s life. Not only did he graduate, he graduated as an honor roll student.

Thanks to the generosity of so many in the Mount Sinai community, he was able to participate in all of the wonderful senior activities that the school provides. He went on the annual senior trip, the prom, and countless parties. One family was even kind enough to host a party just for him and the friends that he made at the high school

At the beginning of June, he completed his treatment program for addiction. Faculty members, a school administrator and countless students came to support their classmate and friend. It was an amazing night. It powerfully reminded me that hope lives on.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

Banana Pudding Cheesecake Bars

By Heidi Sutton

Backyard barbecues beckon and poolside entertaining reigns supreme every summer. After guests have had their fill of fire-licked grilled burgers, hot dogs and chicken, a refreshing dessert that won’t have summertime hosts sweating preparation can make for the perfect culinary capper. 

A no-bake dessert ideal for warm weather entertaining, banana pudding often wins rave reviews. Anyone who loves the sweet taste of bananas, the creaminess of rich pudding and the crunch of vanilla wafers will enjoy digging into these two delicious treats. 

Banana Pudding

Banana Pudding

While many vanilla pudding recipes are topped with whipped cream, this version, courtesy of Trisha Yearwood and the Food Network, changes things up with a meringue topping for added flair. 

YIELD: Makes 8 servings

INGREDIENTS:

4 large eggs

3⁄4 cup sugar

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1⁄2 teaspoon plus a pinch salt

2 cups whole milk

1⁄2 teaspoon vanilla extract

30 to 40 vanilla wafers

3 to 4 medium ripe bananas

DIRECTIONS: 

Separate the yolks from the whites of three of the eggs; set aside the whites. Add the remaining whole egg to the yolks. In a saucepan, whisk together 1⁄2 cup sugar, the flour and 1⁄2 teaspoon salt. Stir in the whole egg and three yolks, and then stir in the milk. Cook uncovered, stirring often, until the mixture thickens, about 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla.

Preheat the oven to 425 F. Spread a thin layer of the pudding in a 11⁄2 quart casserole dish. Arrange a layer of vanilla wafers on top of the pudding. Thinly slice the bananas crosswise, about 1⁄8 inch thick, and arrange a layer of banana slices over the wafers. Spread one-third of the remaining pudding over the bananas and continue layering wafers, bananas and pudding, ending with pudding.

To make the meringue, beat the reserved egg whites with a pinch of salt until they are stiff. Gradually beat in the remaining 1⁄4 cup sugar and continue beating until the whites will not slide out of the mixing bowl when it is tilted. Spread the meringue over the pudding with a spatula, making a few decorative peaks on top, and bake until the meringue is lightly browned, 5 minutes.

Banana Pudding Cheesecake Bars

Banana Pudding Cheesecake Bars

This dessert bar recipe, courtesy of Lena Abraham, senior food editor and stylist at Delish, marries tangy cream cheese with sweet and velvety banana pudding atop a cookie crust. They’re easy to prepare ahead of time and easily sliced when the dessert bell beckons. 

YIELD: Makes 9 servings

INGREDIENTS:

For crust:

1 1⁄2 cup crushed vanilla wafer cookies

5 tablespoons butter, melted

2 tablespoons sugar

Pinch sea salt

For filling

1 1⁄2  (8 ounces) blocks cream cheese, softened

1⁄2 cup sugar

1 1⁄2 cup whipped topping

1 3.4-ounce package instant banana pudding mix

1 3⁄4 cup whole milk

For topping

Whipped topping

1⁄2 banana, sliced

9 vanilla wafer cookies

DIRECTIONS: 

Line an 8-inch by 8-inch pan with parchment paper. Make crust: In a medium bowl, combine crushed wafer cookies with butter, sugar and salt. Press in an even layer into the prepared pan. Place in freezer while making filling.

Make cheesecake filling: In a large bowl using a hand mixer (or in a stand mixer), beat cream cheese until fluffy and no clumps remain. Add sugar and beat until combined. Fold in whipped topping and set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together pudding mix and milk. Let pudding stand for 3 minutes in the refrigerator, until thickened. Fold into cheesecake mixture until well combined. Pour filling into prepared crust and smooth into an even layer. Freeze until bars are firm, at least 6 hours and up to overnight.

When firm, remove from freezer and slice into nine bars. Top each bar with a dollop of whipped topping, a slice of banana and a vanilla cookie before serving.

Note: If banana isn’t your favorite flavor, replace banana pudding with lemon pudding and use a thin lemon slice in the whipped topping dollop as a garnish when serving.

MEET UFEE!

This week’s featured shelter pet is Ufee, a fourteen year-old Male Pomeranian Mix who was abandoned at a park and is now up for adoption at the Smithtown Animal Shelter. 

Don’t let his age fool you, he looks and acts just like a young pup! Ufee is a happy and friendly guy who enjoys spending time around people. He is an absolutely beautiful dog who is very gentle and kind. Ufee has a slightly under active thyroid and some limited hearing. He also has some halitosis, but the Animal Shelter is working on taking care of this. Ufee would do well in a home with other pets and with children over the age of ten. He is ready to share his love with a lucky family, and we know that perfect home is out there somewhere for him.

If you would like to meet Ufee, please call ahead to schedule an hour to properly interact with him in a domestic setting, which includes a Meet and Greet Room, the dog runs, and a Dog Walk trail.

The Smithtown Animal & Adoption Shelter is located at 410 Middle Country Road, Smithtown. Visitor hours are currently Monday to Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. (Sundays and Wednesday evenings by appointment only). 

For more information, call 631-360-7575 or visit www.townofsmithtownanimalshelter.com.

White great pyrenese dog walking along path

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

I want to talk about dog poop.

I don’t intend to describe it, compare notes, or ponder the meaning of bending over after our dogs relieve themselves to take their excrement and dump it in our garbage cans or, perhaps, to ship it to Mars so Matt Damon will have fertilizer for a crop of potatoes.

It’s the whole picking up of the steaming logs that I’d like to address.

You see, the other day, my son and I took our 95-pound dog for a walk. Yes, bigger dogs make larger and, often, smellier poops. I know because I’ve walked smaller dogs recently and am amazed at the delicate little pebbles they gingerly push out of their smaller digestive systems.

So, there we were, the three of us, on our happy stroll, with my dog smelling everything and nothing and my son and I talking about, shocker, sports!

My dog did his thing. At that point, I reflexively leaped into action, opening a small plastic bag that I turned inside out so I didn’t have to come into contact with, you know, it.

I bagged it up, the way I always do, tied the bag twice, as is also a part of the routine, and gently lay the bag near a tree, preparing, as I have for the last five years, to retrieve the bag on my return trip.

That’s when a bald, angry, younger man honked at me from his car and threw out his hands in a frustrated “are-you-kidding-me-right-now” pose.

I shrugged and kept walking because other people’s anger, particularly when I don’t feel responsible for it, isn’t about me.

But the gentleman didn’t leave well enough alone. He circled around and found my son, my dog and me, rolled down his angry window and demanded to know if I was planning to pick up the poop.

“Yes, of course,” I said. “I’ve been walking him for five years, and I pick it up every time.”

My son seemed more than a bit amused.

“Are you the dog poop police?” he asked.

“Yes,” the man in the pickup truck replied without a touch of irony.

“Can I see your badge?” my son asked.

This was heading in the wrong direction.

“I hate it when people leave their dog’s poop all over the neighborhood,” the gentleman, who was coming across as anything but gentle, said. “Are you sure you’re going to pick it up?”

“Yes,” I said. “I always do.”

“Do people leave poop everywhere?” my son asked.

“Yes, they do,” the man said.

The stare down lasted another few minutes. Why, I thought later, would I bother to bag up his poop as if it were a holiday present if I intended to leave it? Wouldn’t I continue walking, ignoring the doggy remains of his dinner?

The man drove off. No, he didn’t spin his tires. When I picked up the bag, I looked around to see if he was hiding, waiting to catch me in a dog-faced lie.

Alas, despite the numerous pickup trucks that sped by, none looked like his truck or had his scowl leaning out of the window.

We sure are an angry and confrontational society these days, aren’t we? This man took time out of his day to confront me about a bag of poop.

I guess the good news is that he’s protecting us from dog poop scofflaws. The sad part, however, is that he figured I was prepared to bag it up and leave it behind. He didn’t know me and quickly assumed the worst.

I wonder if he feels the same level of concern for, say, the wrappers people toss out of their car windows. Does he knock on car doors to ask people sitting with their engines on to turn them off so they don’t pollute the air?

Now, that’s an idea that makes sense to me. Then again, the dog poop patrol probably made sense to him. If my dog had any idea what was happening, he’d have quite a tale to share with his canine companions.