Don was born to Paul and Louise Harrington in St. Louis, Missouri, in 1941. He was the oldest of four children including Larry, Mary-Louise and Tom. They moved to Tucson, Arizona, when Don was 7 years old. He died May 30 at 82.
He loved the desert and maintained a lifelong connection to Sabino Canyon in Arizona. Don was a yo-yo champion as a teenager and in his early 20s spent much of his time skydiving. He graduated from the University of Arizona in 1962.
Don attended Marquette Medical School in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He met his wife, Mary, during medical school. They moved to Minneapolis in 1967 for a radiology residency at the University of Minneapolis VA Health Care System Hospital. Their daughter, Anne, was born there in 1970.
The family moved to Baltimore, Maryland, where Don had a faculty position performing interventionist procedures at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Their daughter, Katie, was born in 1973. In 1979, the family moved to Newton, Massachusetts, where Don became an associate professor and began a faculty position at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital.
Don and Mary moved to Old Field in 1991. Don became the chairman of radiology as well as a professor at Stony Brook University Hospital. He worked as a science adviser for the National Institutes of Health and received a master’s degree in informatics from Columbia University.
Don was eager for travel and adventure. He and Mary lived in Manhattan as well as Long Island, enjoying friendship and culture. They traveled to Italy, Spain, Portugal, Patagonia and Alaska and continually returned to Cape Cod, Massachusetts.
Don was diagnosed with multiple systems atrophy, a form of Parkinson’s. He was able to live at home as the disease progressed because of the exquisite care of Mary and his live-in aide, Stanley.
Don was uniquely loving, tender and smart. With limited mobility, he was less physically able but no less powerful. He maintained a keen awareness of life until he died.
Catherine “Cate” Green, of Sayville, passed away on July 3. She was 71.
A legislative aide to Suffolk County Legislator Kara Hahn (D-Setauket), Green was a longtime Suffolk County employee. In addition to serving in the legislator’s office in 2018 and returning to the position earlier this year, she previously served as a senior manager of public relations in the county’s Department of Economic Development and Planning.
“Catherine was an exceptional friend to me, whose love, loyalty, bravery and compassion knew no bounds,” Hahn said. “She dedicated herself wholeheartedly to serving others, displaying unwavering commitment in all she pursued despite numerous life and health traumas.”
Before her tenure with the county, Green was the director of communications/public affairs for Long Island MacArthur Airport, where she helped to establish the Hometown Hero welcome program at the airport. She also worked with the Town of Islip and in the private sector for Newsday and as a vice president of branding and strategic marketing for JPMorgan Chase.
A scholar, she resided in Port Jefferson as she earned two master’s degrees from Stony Brook University in English and in English literature and studied Irish literature for a year at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland. A progressive advocate, she was active in the peace, anti-nuke and women’s rights movements — proud to have been arrested for peacefully protesting the Shoreham Nuclear Power Plant. In the early 1980s, Green joined the Women’s International League for Peace & Freedom and helped organize peace vigils on the Setauket Village Green.
Green was an active member of Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at Stony Brook for nearly 30 years and a longtime member of UUFSB’s Social Action Committee. She was awarded UUFSB’s Standing on the Side of Love award for her volunteer work of more than 50 years, from Martin Luther King’s Poor People’s Campaign to her involvement in local politics helping to get people of color elected, from her leadership in the anti-nuclear movement to teaching a major corporation how to hire and support a more diverse workforce.
Longtime friend Peggy Fort, of Stony Brook, said: “Catherine and I helped organize the Nuclear Weapons Freeze Walk-A-Thon, and we were involved in many rallies, sessions on disarmament at the United Nations and Washington marches. Catherine was instrumental in helping to garner the support of then Brookhaven Town Supervisor Henrietta Acampora for the walk-a-thon and our petition.”
A compassionate soul, Green worked at one of the first crisis intervention hotlines on Long Island, Middle Earth, and for Suffolk County’s Department of Social Services. Green was also integral in countless local political campaigns, including Hahn’s campaigns for county legislator and Congress and Vivian Viloria-Fisher’s run for Suffolk County clerk. In Islip, she assisted George and Phil Nolan, Bill Lindsay Jr. and current Town Councilman Jorge Guadron, among many others. She also helped run successful phone banks for former President Barack Obama on Long Island.
A master wordsmith and outstanding writer, she understood the importance of an individual’s personal “voice” as well as the sound, simplicity and power of words.
An environmentalist, Green so cared about the earth that she often was viscerally angry for human contributions to pollution and climate change and always cherished the buzz of a bee, the song of a bird, the beauty of the bay, the flutter of a butterfly, the scent of a flower and the sound of wind rustling the leaves of a majestic tree.
She was a lover of music and a performer with the voice of an angel. Catherine, aka Cate, of Cate & Co., performed regularly as lead singer with her extraordinarily talented bandmates and recently hit the studio to record an album with them.
“She found pure joy performing and wanted to share that joy with everyone she could,” Hahn added.
Born on Dec. 27, 1951, at Southside Hospital, Green, the middle child of nine children, was raised in Amityville. She met her husband, John, at a party in Huntington thrown by his brother, who was dating her sister at the time. They married in 1982, and Catherine and John welcomed their daughter Liz into the world in 1988. The family moved to Sayville in 2001. In addition to her husband and daughter, she leaves behind her siblings Marian, Virginia, Michael, Donna, Jody and Margaret-Mary, as well as several nieces, nephews and countless friends. Green was predeceased by her mother and father, Mary and Albert Synan, and brothers Kenneth and John Synan.
“Her remarkable presence touched the lives of countless individuals, as she selflessly extended her generosity, authenticity and kindness to all who had the high honor of knowing her,” Hahn said. “Catherine’s indomitable spirit, grit, perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity were an inspiration to us all. She was a force to be reckoned with and gracefully lived by her progressive and Irish Catholic values. In commemorating Catherine’s life, let us remember the indelible mark she left on our hearts and strive to emulate her unwavering dedication to the betterment of others. Her legacy will forever shine brightly in our memories, reminding us of the profound impact a person can have in the service of others”
Funeral arrangements were entrusted to Raynor & D’Andrea Funeral Homes in West Sayville. A visitation on Sunday, July 9, and chapel service on Monday, July 10, were held at the funeral home. Cremation was private.Her family and friends plan to plant a tree in her memory overlooking the Great South Bay at Sayville Marina Park.
David Bigelow Melville, 97, died at his home in Fort Pierce, Florida on June 22, attended by friends. The cause of death was not given.
Mr. Melville was the son of the late Ward and Dorothy Melville of New York City and Setauket, New York. He was born December 18, 1925 in Brooklyn and was predeceased by his three older siblings: Margaret Blackwell, Ruth Berlin and Frank Melville.
Mr. Melville grew up in Setauket and attended Philips Exeter Academy and was graduated from the Pomfret School in Pomfret Connecticut, class of 1944. He went directly to the New York State Maritime Academy at Fort Schuyler (now part of the State University of New York), served on tankers in the North Atlantic and subsequently served in the US Navy.
In 1951, he was working in California for Thom McAn, a division of Melville Shoe Corporation, a company founded by his grandfather, Frank Melville, Jr., when he met and married Mary E. Bale, a recent graduate of Scripps College. They were divorced in 1966. Mr. Melville subsequently married the late Betty Jane Dean (nee Goss) of Weston Mass., and lived in Weston for much of his marriage. The couple was divorced in the early 1980s.
It was during this time that Mr. Melville established the David B. Melville Foundation and founded Toah Nipi, a spiritual retreat and ministry of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in Rindge, New Hampshire. He also became an important donor to the Stony Brook School in Stony Brook, NY., a Christian preparatory school, and served on its Board of Trustees from 1981-1999.
Mr. Melville began to accumulate property on Rum Cay in the Bahamas in the late 1970s and in 1981, opened the Rum Cay Dive Club, a scuba diving club at Monroe Beach on Rum Cay which he ran for eight years. Finding the island’s limited transportation options impeded the growth of business, he eventually sold the resort and moved back to Weston and finally, in 2009, to Fort Pierce, Florida. During his years on Rum Cay, he became a significant supporter of Scripture Union, a global, evangelical organization originally founded to introduce children to the bible, an association that continued for the rest of his life.
In Fort Pierce, Mr. Melville co-founded Ocean Grown, a firm making organic, mineral-rich fertilizer for agricultural, animal feed, landscaping, hydroponic and the home & garden industries. During this time, Mr. Melville oriented his philanthropy to the New Hope Vocational Technical Institute, a division of Bringing Hope to the Family (BHTF), serving orphans and vulnerable children in Butiiti, Uganda, and was an active and generous member of the Northside Worship Center in Fort Pierce where a memorial service was held for him on July 4th.
David was an avid equestrian and tennis player most of his life. He loved the sea and the many places he visited during his time in the Merchant Marines and Navy. He was a historian and a student of government. He maintained a large library of books on these subjects.
He is survived by his niece and nephews: Stephen, Lanning, Gregory and Cameron Melville and Carswell and Meg Berlin.
A funeral and burial service will be held for David at the Caroline Episcopal Church, 1 Dyke Road, Setauket, on Tuesday, July 18 at 11 a.m. Donations in David’s memory may be made to the Caroline Church.
Above, Theresa Whelan. Photo courtesy Chambers of the Honorable Thomas F. Whelan
Theresa Whelan, of Wading River, a longtime Suffolk County judge who served for more than 10 years in family court and most recently as the county’s Surrogate’s Court judge, died Monday, Dec. 26, after a courageous battle with cancer. She was 60.
Theresa Whelan always knew she wanted to be in public service. As a young attorney fresh out of Albany Law School, she began her legal career in 1988 as a Suffolk County assistant county attorney. She entered the court system in 1990 as a senior law clerk to Supreme Court Judge Eli Wagner, in Nassau County. She went on to work as a principal law clerk in Suffolk County for Supreme Court Judge Mary M. Werner and, later, Supreme Court Judge William B. Rebolini. During her 17 years in the supreme court, she worked in nearly every part, including civil litigation, guardianship, tax certiorari and condemnation cases, as well as matrimonial matters.
She eventually took the bench herself in 2008 after she was elected to serve as a judge in Suffolk County Family Court. There, she heard primarily child abuse and neglect cases and presided over Family Treatment Court, where she worked to safely reunite families. Whelan became Suffolk County’s Surrogate in 2019, presiding over proceedings involving wills, trusts and estates as well as guardianship matters. She retired in the summer of 2022, marking 32 years within the New York State court system.
Known for her commitment to improving court practices to better serve the needs of the public, Whelan mobilized several initiatives that helped families and children and that expanded access to justice for all court users. She was appointed Supervising Judge of the Suffolk County Family Court in 2016, and one of the many reforms she spearheaded was providing remote access to temporary orders of protection, allowing individuals to petition the court from a hospital, a police precinct or a shelter. She was a catalyst of the FOCUS (Family Overcoming Crisis through Unified Services) initiative, a program that expedites access to services that address the trauma and developmental needs of children and parents in the court system.
She also served as lead judge of the Suffolk County Child Welfare Court Improvement Project, part of a statewide initiative to address court practices in cases where the court has removed children from their parents’ care. In 2016, Chief Administrative Judge Larry Marks appointed her to the Family Court Advisory and Rules Committee. In 2018, former New York Court of Appeals Chief Judge Janet DiFiore appointed her to the New York State Commission on Parental Representation, which is tasked with holding public hearings and reporting on the status and quality of lawyers representing parents in child welfare cases. Since 2016, Theresa Whelan had been the chair of Suffolk County’s Attorneys for Children Advisory Committee, which is responsible for considering the qualifications of new applicants to the Attorneys for Children panel as well as reviewing the recertification applications for existing lawyers.
An active member of the Suffolk County Bar Association, Whelan was co-chair of the Family Court Committee from 2013 to 2016 and lectured for the association’s law academy and other legal organizations. As a member of the Attorney for Child Task Force, she and the other members received the Suffolk County Bar Association’s President’s Award in 2016 for their work. She was also a member and past president of the Suffolk County Women’s Bar Association.
In March of 2022, in recognition of her leadership and commitment to improving the lives of children and families, Whelan was honored at a Women’s History Month celebration, “Women Providing Healing, Promoting Hope,” presented by Suffolk County District Administrative Judge Andrew A. Crecca and the Suffolk County Women in the Courts Committee. In June, Whelan was awarded the Marilyn R. Menge Award at the Women’s Bar Association of the State of New York 2022 Convention.
Prior to beginning her legal career, she received a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and a Master of Science degree in Policy Analysis and Public Management from the State University of New York at Stony Brook.
Her devotion to her family was boundless. She and her husband, Suffolk County Supreme Court Justice Thomas F. Whelan, recently celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary. Together they raised two children, Joseph and Erin. Whelan was a proud grandmother to Erin’s one-year-old daughter, Andrea.
In her spare time, Whelan enjoyed the outdoors. She could often be found hiking, kayaking or spending time at the beach. She ran in several half marathons in recent years.
She continued her dedication to the public good even after her cancer diagnosis, volunteering to participate in clinical trials, despite the risks, in hopes of helping find a cure. Her family, friends and former colleagues remember her as someone who braved challenges with grace and compassion. She will be dearly missed by all who knew her.
Theresa Whelan is survived by her husband, Justice Thomas F. Whelan; son, Joseph Whelan; daughter, Erin, her husband, Alex Meyers, and their daughter, Andrea; mother, Joan Bryant, and her husband John Bauer; brothers, Jack Bryant and Christopher Bryant; sisters, Vaughn Bogucki and Victoria Yule; together with many nieces and nephews.
Lynn H. Reilly, of Smithtown, passed away in September 2022 at the age of 70.
Lynn was a retired schoolteacher, beloved wife and dedicated mother.
Lynn’s life revolved around her family, students and many friends. Her cozy, creative, book-lined classrooms inspired the zest for learning in hundreds of students over the decades.
A life-long “Islander”, she grew up in Kings Park, lived in Smithtown with her family and taught for over 40 years in the Long Island Public School system. Education was her passion.
Graduating in the top five of her class in King Park High School, Lynn was the first in her family to attend college and worked full time to pay her own way.
Lynn’s master’s thesis on “Education of the Gifted and Talented” was the springboard for directing the nascent West Islip Gifted and Talented Program.
Canoe journeys up the Nissequogue River, museum trips, Math Olympiads and structured classroom projects emphasizing imagination and task completion, shaped the desire to succeed for scores of future successful business people, professionals, a county district attorney and a Hollywood actor or two. Lynn instilled the strong educational values of preparation in her only child and supported her path to Harvard University and Harvard Business School.
Lynn was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 10. In lieu of flowers, please donate to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). Tackling Type 1 Diabetes for 60 years, Lynn was the exemplar of perseverance, optimism and sheer “Viking Will.”
Lynn is survived by her husband and best friend for half a century, Patrick, her daughter Leif-Ann Tuohey, son-in-law Vince Tuohey and grandchildren Seamus and Clementine.
Lynn will forever live on in their hearts and memories. A Celebration of Life was held at the local American Legion in Kings Park on Nov.12.
Harry Thomas Dawkins, of Setauket, passed away peacefully at the age of 77 on Nov. 9.
Born on July 17, 1945, he was the son of Mary and Bertram Dawkins. Harry is survived by his wife, Kathleen Dawkins; his son Jonathan Dawkins; his stepchildren Daphne Fitzpatrick and their partner Johanna Phelps and Rachel Weissmann and her husband John Owen; and step-grandchildren Elias Owen, Oona Owen, Fitz Phelps and August Phelps.
He is also survived by his twin sister Margaret, sister Lillian, and brother Bertram (also known as Bud). He was the beloved uncle to Bonnie Dawkins, Peter Dawkins and Nancy Dawkins-Pisani.
Harry was a veteran of the Vietnam War serving in the Navy’s Special Services Group with the Patrol Boat Rivers from 1963 to 1967. He received the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart. After his Honorable Discharge, he returned home to Long Island and continued his career on the water ever since.
A man of many talents and known for his ability to make friends with anybody, he is well known for his time with the Captree Boat Basin as the captain of the Yankee III and the Port Jefferson Ferry and Marina. Whether it was working the docks or spending time with his many close friends, it would not be taking liberties to say, “Harry Dawkins was the mayor of Port Jeff.”
Visitation will be held at Bryant Funeral Home, 411 Old Town Road, East Setauketon Nov. 20 from 2 to 4 p.m. and 7 to 9 p.m. with a service on Nov. 21 at 10:30 a.m. followed by internment at Calverton National Cemetery
Edward William McGrain, age 92, of Stony Brook, passed away on Monday, Nov. 7. He was preceded in death by his mother, Catherine McGrain.
As a child, Edward grew up as an orphan in 13 different homes. He joined the U.S. Army and served our country for four years in the Korean War.
Working during the day and going to school at night, he went on to complete his bachelor’s degree from Fordham University in New York. He was employed as a probation officer in Suffolk County where he was well liked as he served his community until his retirement.
In his younger years, Edward really enjoyed playing baseball. He was also a fan of watching or playing golf and tennis.As a father, he was active in coaching and supporting his two sons in all their endeavors. Edward was meticulous in making daily entries in a diary for 30 years, logging meals, the weather and other important events of the day.He was an avid reader of history with Thomas Jefferson being among his biggest heroes. Edward also enjoyed listening to classical music.
Left to cherish his memory are his sons, Charles Joseph McGrain and Matthew McGrain (Dawn); granddaughters, Cassidy Rae McGrain and Hailey Madeline McGrain Reeves (Peyton); sister, Elizabeth “Betty” Green; and his former wife, Carol McGrain.
The family received friends on Wednesday, Nov. 16, at Nelsen Funeral Home in Ashland, Virginia. A private burial followed at Quantico National Cemetery.
Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.NelsenAshland.com for the McGrain family.
School board president William Connors is running unopposed for his seat on the board. File photo by Andrea Paldy
William F. Connors Jr., 77, of East Setauket passed away on July 21.
Bill Connors
He was born March 31, 1945, in Brooklyn and was the son of the late William and Ethel Connors. He spent the past 50 years married to the love of his life, Susan Connors (Edwards), and together they raised four children: Terence, Corinne Keane (Edward), Kristin Mangini (Ken) and their daughter Jessica Connors who predeceased Bill in December 2021.
One of Bill’s favorite roles was proud Papa to four adoring grandsons: Conor Mangini (17), Gavin Mangini (14), Caden Mangini (11) and Braeden Keane (7).
Bill enjoyed a life filled with a very large extended family that spent significant time together and is extremely close knit. His family and loved ones were fortunate to always know how loved and adored they were as Bill “wore his heart on his sleeve” and never passed up the opportunity to let the people he loved know how much he cared about them.
Bill received a bachelor’s degree in history from Saint Anselm College, a Master of Education in counseling psychology from Springfield College, and a Master of Public Administration in management from Long Island University. He retired from Suffolk County Community College in 2011 after holding a variety of faculty and senior administrative positions spanning 44 years. These included associate vice president for academic affairs/college dean of faculty, executive dean/CEO of the Ammerman and Eastern campuses, associate vice president for student affairs, and dean of faculty at the Ammerman and Grant campuses.
Always looking to contribute to his community, Bill was involved in numerous service activities. He served as a member/vice president of the board of trustees of the Emma S. Clark Memorial Library in Setauket between 1984-92. He was on the Three Village Central School District board of education for a total of 21 years. He served on the board between 1994-2006 and served as vice president between 1995-96 and president between 1996-2006. After a six-year hiatus, he was reelected to the board of education in 2012 and served through 2021. He served as vice president 2013-14 and president between 2014-20.
Bill was also a member of the Saints Philip and James R.C. Church in St. James since 1973. Over the years he has been involved in numerous aspects of parish life and has served as an Eucharistic minister, member of SSPJ school board, and was a member of the pre-baptismal preparation program which he conducted along with his wife.
Arrangements were entrusted to the Bryant Funeral Home of East Setauket. Calling hours were held Monday, July 25, and the funeral Mass was held at Saints Philip and James R.C. Church the next day. Interment was private. Visit www.bryantfh.com to sign the online guest book.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that people consider making a donation to The Jessica Connors Memorial Scholarship as Bill was immensely proud of this scholarship created in his youngest daughter’s memory. This annual scholarship is awarded to a graduating Ward Melville High School student who has a connection to or has made contributions to students with learning differences or special needs. It would mean the world to him to know that friends and loved ones continued to support this effort to memorialize her in his name. Donations to the scholarship can be made by visiting gofundme.com/f/the-jessica-connors-memorial-scholarship or by mail to The Jessica Connors Memorial Scholarship c/o Corinne Keane, P.O. Box 750, East Setauket, NY 11733.
Connors remembered
In an email, Three Village Superintendent of Schools Kevin Scanlon informed district residents of Connors’ passing. Scanlon described him as “a symbol of strength, dignity and reason for decades in Three Village. He epitomized the phrase ‘a gentleman and a scholar.’”
Town of Brookhaven Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich said in an email, “I was deeply saddened to learn of the passing of my friend and colleague, Bill Connors. I served with Bill on the Three Village board of education for a number of years and grew to appreciate first and foremost his deep and abiding love for his family; his commitment to serve our community; and his wisdom and experience in the field of education. He was tremendously decent and compassionate, with a gentle temperament and a kind word for all, and I will miss him very much.”
Anthony Parlatore, a member of the Emma Clark library board of trustees for more than 30 years, said his tenure on the library board overlapped that of Connors for about a year or so.
“We were very close when he was on the board,” Parlatore said. “He was just a quality human being. He was very positive on the board, always maintained a smile and you can just tell he enjoyed being on the board.”
While the board has always functioned well, Parlatore said, Connors added to the high-quality operation, making “his presence known in a very quiet, dignified manner.”
“He listened to everybody politely, and he was a consummate gentleman, expressed his opinion and was never argumentative,” Parlatore said “All the qualities you’d expect. It was a pleasure serving with him.”
Patricia Maureen Higgins (maiden name Phillips), was born on May 6, 1931, in Jersey City, New Jersey, the first-born child to Brigid Dunne and John Francis Phillips. She was followed by her two brothers, Jack and Bob. Pat was the salutatorian of her eighth-grade class, second only to her life-long closest friend, Aunt Gebs.
Photo from Kate Higgins
When she was 15, Pat met Joe Higgins on a bus on the way to a dance at the Polish Hall. Five years later they were married at St. Anne’s Church. Deeply devoted to their faith, they welcomed eight children into the world. They were an inseparable union for 70 years, navigating the highs and lows and challenges that life brings.
Joe worked long hours while mom worked equally hard at home, raising eight kids, the oldest in college, the baby in diapers, and every age and stage in between.
The family moved to Long Island 55 years ago. Pat insisted that they move back to New Jersey the next year, but that never happened. She would joke that she lived on Long Island for 20 years before she realized that she was on the wrong side of Route 25A. She wasn’t concerned with those sorts of pretentious things; she was a much earthier woman. She took her role as homemaker seriously — the glue that held the family together. She was organized, efficient and diligent in her duties. She had a loving and unique relationship with each of her children and grandchildren.
Pat was an insightful woman who could assess a person’s character within minutes of meeting them. She had a kind, caring demeanor that made people divulge their problems and secrets. She was an avid reader — she read the newspaper cover to cover — and enjoyed suspense novels.
And this lady, who never left the house without her hair perfectly coiffed and her lipstick on, enjoyed her children’s sports, and was never absent from a football game, track meet, swim meet or baseball game.
This feminine lady understood stats and splits, knew a bad baton handoff from a good one, and comprehended the seemingly endless set of rules and exceptions to rules in the game of football.
She enjoyed the Jets since the days of Joe Namath and the Yankees, and of course, her beloved Derek Jeter. Pat also had a penchant for war movies, cowboy movies and disco music. It wasn’t unusual to get in the car after Pat had been driving it and hear ABBA or Donna Summer blaring on the radio.
Photo from Kate Higgins
Her house was always filled with the aroma of her delicious food. There was no takeout; Pat cooked every night and could give Julia Child a few suggestions on how to make gravy. Birthday cakes were homemade from scratch with Presto flour, never a box mix, that’s just not how it was done. If you missed dinner, your dinner was left on the counter in a pie plate with a piece of tinfoil on it and your name written in perfect Catholic school penmanship.
The only time the house didn’t smell of Pat’s delicious cooking was when she was doing a load of white wash, in which case the smell of Clorox would simultaneously burn your eyes and nose.
Pat and Joe were devout in their faith and active members of this parish since its inception. Now, she will be reunited with those that have left this earth before her including her parents, friends, her first son Paul, who only lived 36 hours, and of course, her dear son Bob, who was taken from this world far too early.
Pat was the beloved mother of Nancy Sardinia and her husband Ted, Patricia Paddock and her husband Ken, Tara Higgins and her husband Peter Petracca, Kathleen Higgins and her husband Joseph Farley, Joseph and his wife Marybeth, John, Paul and his wife Kate, and the late Robert and his wife Ellen; cherished grandmother of Joseph and his wife Tara, Katherine, Matthew, Marty, Marybeth, P.J., Sean, Bobby, Brigid and her husband John, Siobhan, Fiona, Julia, Colette, Aeva; and great grandmother of Liam, Emerson, and Riley; and devoted sister of Jack Phillips and his wife Sheila and Bob Phillips and the late Barbara.
Funeral mass and burial were on Wednesday, Feb. 16 at St. James R.C. Church in Setauket where she is now North ofRoute 25A.
Donations can be made to Hope House Ministries and Three Village Meals on Wheels.
Editors note: The March 3 issue of the Port Times Record published the wrong name in this obituary. This is the correct version.
Community members hold up lanterns and sunflowers during a vigil to honor Aida Ramonez who passed away at age 11 on Jan. 5. Photo by Julianne Mosher
The Port Jefferson community has come together to mourn the loss of one of their own, 11-year-old Aida Ramonez who died unexpectedly Jan. 5.
On Saturday, Jan. 15, several dozen people gathered on the lawn of the First Presbyterian Church in the village to pray and remember the vibrant, young girl who was taken far too soon.
“Aida was something else,” said her mother, Lolita. “She was extremely outgoing. She would stick up for her friends, was anti-bullying and absolutely loved animals and her life.”
The Port Jefferson middle schooler had moved with her family from Mastic Beach just three years prior to her death, but in the short amount of time she graced the village, she touched the lives of dozens of people — young and old.
Aida Ramonez enjoying live music at Port Jeff Brewery. Photo from Lolita Ramonez
During Saturday’s vigil, classmates of the sixth-grader held onto sunflowers, Aida’s favorite flower. Small white lanterns were lit, decorated with purple ribbons while prayers were said and “Amazing Grace” was sung.
Nicole Jacobs said that Aida befriended her daughter in school after the Ramonez family moved to the district. The two girls would go trick-or-treating on Halloween together and visit the water park in the summer.
“She was very wise for her age,” Jacobs said. “She was so compassionate. Very loving and free-spirited. She was such a good kid, finding the positive in any situation and who sought out the kids who didn’t always fit in.”
But along with being the girl who chose to be a friend to anyone and everyone, her true passion was animals, Lolita said.
“We nicknamed her the chicken whisperer,” she laughed, fondly.
Lolita went on to remember how one of the family’s chickens fell ill. The chicken, who barely approached anyone else, trusted Aida and allowed her to feed its medicine.
“She’d massage the chicken and say, ‘Don’t you give up on me!’” Lolita said. “She wanted to be a vet.”
The chicken survived and is thriving to this day.
Aida also loved art — it was one of her favorite subjects in school along with science.
“She was an incredible artist and was an excellent student,” Lolita said. “She even made it to the honor roll at the end of their marking period. She was so proud of that.”
Aida’s former fifth-grade teachers at Edna Louise Spear Elementary School, Laura Kelly and Paige Lohmann, said in a statement that Aida had “so many wonderful qualities and gifts that made her stand out.”
“Her love for her family, care for animals and loyalty to her friends were most important to her. At such a young age, Aida believed in using her voice to speak up for causes that she believed in. She had a keen sense of who she was and how she can make a difference in the world through her thoughtful words and caring actions. We will always remember Aida and her high hopes and dreams for life and the world around her,” the teachers said.
During Saturday’s event, Robert Neidig, assistant superintendent of Port Jefferson School District, remembered his student.
Sunflowers are given to Aida’s mother, Lolita, during the vigil. Photo by Julianne Mosher
“Aida, although she was a quiet young girl, had such an intense focus of maturity about her,” he said. “She once wrote that one of the things that made her happiest was being kind to others. It is this endearing quality that helped brighten up the spaces that she inhabited and allowed her to have such an enormous impact on our entire community.”
Neidig went on to mention, that the outpouring support of the community standing together on that cold Saturday was a true testament of what Aida always preached — kindness.
Mayor Margot Garant said that although tragedy strikes, the vigil proves how Port Jefferson comes together in times of need.
“The ceremony was moving and shows that here in Port Jefferson when we lose a resident, young or old, our community is impacted as if it were our very own,” she said. “This is what we mean by ‘Port Jeff Proud,’ and ‘Port Jeff Strong.’”
Trustee Kathianne Snaden’s daughter is in Aida’s class and she said it breaks her heart to see the community lose someone so young and so vibrant.
“My heart and prayers are with the Ramonez family,” she said. “If there is any silver lining, it’s seeing the community as a whole come together to support and uplift Aida’s family, and showed we can help each other in a time of need. We are stronger together, and I hope that the outpouring of love that day brought some peace to her family. We are here for them.”
Along with the vigil, a Meal Train was created for the family the day her death was announced, Jan. 6.
Jacobs, who helped create the link, said that within two hours of it being posted, the first four weeks were booked with different types of meals to be dropped off at the Ramonez home. The Meal Train was then extended an extra two weeks, and booked in only one hour.
“People have been reaching out every day asking how they can help,” Jacobs said. “More than 40 gift cards were left on my front porch to be given to the family.”
Lolita said she and her family are overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness and knows that Aida would be “flattered beyond belief.”
A selfie in front of Aida’s favorite place — the beach. Photo from Lolita Ramonez
“Aida was a free spirit who loved the ocean,” she said. “She was not afraid of death or any of life’s phases.”
One of Aida’s favorite songs was “Circle of Life” from “The Lion King.” She loved fishing, anime and gymnastics.
“She was an adrenaline junkie,” Lolita said.
Her mother added that Aida’s remains have been cremated and her ashes will be thrown into the ocean in Puerto Rico — one of the places she loved to visit, along with Ecuador.
“She would like her friends and loved ones to remember her with joy, especially when they go to her happy place, the beach,” she said. “She will be with them always in spirit and would love for everyone to stay positive and accomplish their goals.”
Aida is survived by her mother Lolita, father Juan and older brother Grayson, as well as everyone near and far who’s lives she touched.
To continue helping the Ramonez family following this loss, Nicole Jacobs is collecting gift cards to be regularly delivered to them. Community members who would like to send their condolences can email [email protected] for more information.
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