Community members and elected officials during the Pearl Harbor Remembrance Ceremony in Port Jefferson Dec. 4. Photo from Kara Hahn
People gathered in Port Jefferson early Sunday morning to remember and pay tribute to the fallen on the 80th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.
On Dec. 4, members from American Legion Wilson Ritch Post 432 of Port Jefferson Station joined elected officials including village trustee Bruce Miller, state Assemblyman Steve Englebright (D-Setauket), Legislator Kara Hahn (D-Setauket) and Town of Brookhaven Councilman Jonathan Kornreich (D-Stony Brook) nearly eight decades to the date of one of the worst terrorist attacks on U.S. soil.
Each year on or around the anniversary of the day, ceremonies are held across the United States to honor all those who lost their lives when the U.S. Naval Base in Pearl Harbor was attacked on Dec. 7, 1941.
More than 3,500 Americans lost their lives or were wounded on that solemn day.
At the monuments for all American wars, wreaths were laid by American Legion Posts 1941, 417, Setauket VFW Post 3054 and the Ward Melville H.S. Patriot League Club.
Held with the support of the Three Village School District, the Three Village Community Trust’s first annual Winter Coat Drive is now underway through Dec. 16. This is a wonderful opportunity for residents to help those in need by dropping off a winter coat at the Trust’s headquarters at the Bruce House, 148 Main Street, Setauket. The Trust encourages community members to simply place their donation of clean winter coats on the front porch. Coats will then be delivered to local families.For more information, call631-428-6851.
A puppet of Ward Melville was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A puppet of Ward Melville was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A puppet of William Sydney Mount was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Puppets Jonas Smith and William Sydney Mount was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A puppet of Caleb Brewster and Benjamin Tallmadge was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
The Ward Melville High School Band led the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
The Ward Melville High School Band led the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A child poses with Santa at Stony Brook Village Center's annual holiday event. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Children pose with Santa at Stony Brook Village Center's annual holiday event. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Families wait to take a picture with Santa. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Children tell Santa what they would like for the holidays at Stony Brook Village Center's annual holiday event. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Santa makes it snow while children try to catch the flakes. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A puppet of William Sydney Mount was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A puppet of Jonas Smith was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
A puppet of Anna Smith Strong was part of the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
One of Santa's reindeers leads the Legends & Spies Puppet Procession during Ward Melville Heritage Organization's Annual Holiday Festival. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Children pose with Santa at Stony Brook Village Center's annual holiday event. Photo by Rita J. Egan
Hundreds filled Stony Brook Village Center Sunday, Dec. 5, for the return of some old favorites.
Last year The Ward Melville Heritage Organization’s Annual Holiday Festival had to be scaled back due to COVID-19 restrictions, and there were no visits with santa, parade and various activities. This year the event returned in full force for the 42nd year. From noon to 6 p.m., the shopping center was filled with activities including performances, music from WALK 97.5, a petting zoo and more.
Attendees were able to stop by Wiggs Opticians to see the holiday train display in the storefront window, and children could visit Santa sitting in front of the post office to take photos and tell him what they wanted this holiday season. This year, Santa sat behind a plexiglass shield to protect him from getting sick.
At 2:15 p.m., a parade led by the Ward Melville High School Band featured the annual Legends & Spies Puppet Procession that included the likenesses of former prominent Three Village residents such as Ward and Dorothy Melville, Anna Smith Strong and William Sidney Mount.
Later in the day, Santa got aboard a holiday float to begin the tree-lighting ceremony and cap off the night on a festive note.
The Long Island Symphonic Choral Association (LISCA) and Island Chamber Players present a holiday concert of music from the baroque period on Saturday, Dec. 11 at 8 p.m.
A lovely venue, the Three Village Church, 322 Main St., Setauket, will host this exciting program which features works by Bach, Charpentier and well-known selections from Handel’s Messiah. Eric Stewart, director and conductor of both groups, will take the baton.
Singers love to sing. The hiatus from that beloved activity imposed upon themembers of the chorus has been a hardship for the performers as well as the audience. LISCA is back this holiday season, but reconfigured to chamber size for continued safety consideration.
This March, 2022LISCA is planning and hopingto return to its’ fullcomplement of singers for aseasonal concert.
On Dec. 11 the singers will be joined by the newly formed Island Chamber Players comprised of superb instrumentalists, including some from the graduate music program at Stony Brook University that have accompanied the chorus in past performances.
Proof of vaccination and mask-wearing by all quests and performers will be required as recommended by the CDC and American Choral Directors Association.
Tickets costs will be $20 for general admission and $15 for seniors, available at the door or at www.lisca.org. Students are free. Live streaming of the concert will be available at no fee at www.3vc.org/lisca2021. For further information, please call 631-751-2743.
The Ward Melville Heritage Organization (WMHO) presents a new seasonal walking tour titled “Winter Walks Through Time” that will feature stories passed down through the ages and new interpretations of Stony Brook Village from indigenous people to modern day marketing.
Participants in the walking tour will enjoy new stories about Stony Brook Village and its former residents. This includes the history of winter whaling on Long Island, how Dorothy Melville saved Christmas, the design of Stony Brook Village by Ward Melville and Richard Haviland Smyth, and the history and magic of holiday window displays.
Tours will leave from the Stony Brook Post Office at 129 Main Street on Friday, Dec. 10 at 10:50 a.m. and 2:50 p.m. Tickets for this event are $15 per person, and includes hot chocolate from Stony Brook Chocolate. Reservations are required by calling the Ward Melville Heritage Organization at 631-751-2244.
In Amsterdam, the classic Bulldog hostel, just one part of the company known for its pervasive marijuana products, was practically full to the brim compared to other hostels along my route. And still, people kept to their little groups, barely interacting with each other even in the spacious bar area. Rosie, a young woman I met in Amsterdam and fellow American traveler from Detroit, talked of her own lonely experiences after she left friends in Istanbul, Turkey, to travel up to Dutch country.
attendees during a pared-down August pride celebration in Amsterdam. Photo by Kyle Barr
There are ways to mitigate the loneliness. Apps like CouchSurfing have the capacity for travelers to create hangouts. It’s how I managed to meet a group of international travelers all shut together in a tiny apartment in Amsterdam’s canal district for a house party/barbecue, where alcohol and marijuana loosened enough tongues to break through the concerns of pandemic life. Though that’s easier for young people, many of whom crowded along the rain-slick streets just outside the Amsterdam Centraal train station for a slimmed down version of Pride month festivities. None were wearing masks.
There are certainly places that seem to be trying to capture more of what prepandemic life was like. In Amsterdam and Denmark, masks are only worn in places where one can’t stay 1.5 meters away from people. Of course, it’s a policy that is rarely if ever enforced, despite COVID cases peaking to a new high for the Netherlands in mid-July. Despite what Dutch officials have recently said about limiting international travelers who come to revel in the famous smoke-filled streets of the city center, the travelers there are undaunted.
Switzerland
The international travel industry grew to new heights up until just before the pandemic, but now many towns, cities and countries are starting to consider whether the general wealth that tourists bring to their homes is worth what they lose in a sense of place and community. The outdoor shopping malls of a city like Bern, Switzerland, are no longer flooded with travelers, and more locals can take the time to walk past the old town and up the hill to the Bern Rosengarten to enjoy a beer and the cool afternoon air with friends and family.
While in Switzerland I stayed with a native Swiss man named Pascal for two nights in his home, just a 20-minute train ride from Zurich. That city, so well known throughout the world as a tourist hotspot, no longer sees the crowds it once did. The surrounding mountains are trekked by locals, with more mountain goats than people. The way Pascal kindly greeted his fellows on the slopes of the Etzel mountain, located on the southern end of Lake Zurich, it seemed that a strong sense of polite community was still alive, and better exemplified away from the international crowds of a national center like Geneva or in the resort town of Zermatt, lingering under the craggy gaze of the Matterhorn.
The Gullfoss Waterfall in Iceland seen from high above. Photo by Kyle Barr
Iceland and back home
On the final leg of my trip into Iceland, I reconnected with my brother. It was the first time I met somebody I knew in seven weeks. We didn’t rent a car and were forced to take guided tours, one running down the brilliant length of the country’s south coast. The other was a tour of the Golden Circle to massive sites around the center of the country. We were the only two people in a van with our tour guide. The other people scheduled for the tour bailed last minute and, instead of canceling, the tour operator still offered us our ride. The pandemic had been hard on tour guides. They are making less than 50% what they had been doing just two years ago. Iceland’s economy, and so many other countries in Europe, relies on tourism. In 2019, over 15% of the workforce in Iceland was in the tourism industry. Many European countries accounted for close to 10% of their total gross domestic product. Some countries, like Greece, accounted for about 20% of their GDP. What will they do if travelers do not show up at the rates they once did in the years to come?
These are big questions and impossible for one person to answer. Instead, as time moves on and the memories start to congeal in my brain, I’m left with an impression: Thousands of people laying under verdigris-covered statues built in a time centuries before, the uncertainty, the questions, sitting amid millions of lives trying to be lived day-to-day, wanting to see a future in which all can take one collective breath.
And like us back in the States, we’re still wanting and we’re still waiting.
Kyle Barr is a freelancer writer and the former editor of The Port Times Record, The Village Beacon Record and The Times of Middle Country.
Over its 20 years in existence, Jefferson’s Ferry has been home to a significant number of accomplished and creative older adults who have been groundbreakers, innovators, educators and artists. All were original thinkers with a desire to do something that hadn’t been done before, and many of these residents wrote books about their work, which can be found in the Jefferson’s Ferry library collection.
Gerhart Friedlander
Gerhart Friedlander and Barbara Strongin: scientist and activist
Gerhart Friedlander and his wife, Barbara Strongin, were among the first residents of Jefferson’s Ferry when it opened in 2001. He was a nuclear chemist who emigrated to the United States in 1936 from Munich, Germany, when the Nazis forbade Jews from attending university. Friedlander studied at the University of California, Berkeley, receiving his doctorate in 1942. After gaining American citizenship in 1943, he was recruited to work on the Manhattan Project at Los Alamos, New Mexico. He later worked at Brookhaven National Laboratory for more than 30 years, conducting groundbreaking research on how high-energy particles trigger nuclear reactions. Friedlander also co-authored the textbook “Nuclear and Radiochemistry,” considered a classic in its field, with Manhattan Project colleague Joseph W. Kennedy. The book has been translated into 18 languages, and over the years, was updated twice with other co-authors. He received honorary degrees from many universities and countries and was an active elected member of the National Academy of Sciences.
Friedlander died in 2009 at the age of 93.
Barbara Strongin
Strongin has spent her adult life dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls on Long Island. She met her husband when he was the chair of the board and she was the chief executive officer of Planned Parenthood of Suffolk County. They both received the Family Planning Advocates of New York State award. One of three founding members of the Women’s Fund of Long Island, Strongin was also an adviser and contributor to the Herstory Writers Workshop. She has co-authored curricula and articles on the Jewish perspective of human sexuality and has been honored by the New York Civil Liberties Union (Suffolk County Chapter) and Family Planning Advocates of New York State. Also, she won in 2011 the Good Neighbor award from The Village Times Herald.
Strongin and Friedlander jointly received the Allard K. Lowenstein Memorial Award from the American Jewish Congress, Long Island Chapter, and were recognized by Newsday as “Long Islanders of the Century: Everyday Heroes.”
Strongin continues to reside in her independent living cottage at Jefferson’s Ferry.
Joyce Edward: author, advocate, activist
Joyce Edward enjoyed a long career as a respected and influential social worker psychoanalyst, teacher, writer and activist. The co-editor and co-author of several books showing the value of psychoanalytic theory in social work practice as well as in the analytic consulting room, she also authored a book on her own, “The Sibling Relationship.”
Joyce Edward
Edward holds a Master of Social Work from Case Western Reserve University and earned post-master’s certificates in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy.
“Therapists seek to help a patient understand what’s in their way, what’s keeping them from a congenial marriage, for example, or from exploring career options,” she said. “A therapist is a partner in the work. We do not tell you what to do but help identify what may be blocking you and what you can do for yourself to move past these obstacles.”
Edward attended Antioch College in Ohio, attracted by its then unusual work study program. With the intention of becoming an advertising copywriter, Edward was placed in a salesclerk position at Macy’s as part of her work experience. She was uncomfortable in the post and quickly realigned her course, gravitating toward social work after helping Southerners who were recruited to come to work in a bomber plant up North find housing during World War II. At home she was exposed to acts of kindness, generosity and caring for those less fortunate.
“My aunt, who was a social worker during the Depression, would say of the people she helped, ‘They are just people like us.’ At Antioch, there was an emphasis on helping others. For example, as students we helped integrate a barbershop and the local movie theater.”
Edward did not intend being a practicing analyst. Balancing motherhood and career, she first volunteered at a newly founded small private school for emotionally disturbed children. As the school grew, so did her role.
“It was a major and central working part of my life for 13 years and exposed me to psychoanalytic training,” she said. “As the social worker on the clinical team, I wanted more than a handmaiden role. I questioned the prevailing theory at the time that the cause of autism in children was ‘refrigerator parents’ who were cold and did not connect with their children. I saw the ‘coldness,’ when it was observed, as frequently being the result of living with an autistic child, whose needs are tremendous and time consuming. I realized that I had to get more training to gain prestige and acceptance of my ideas, so I enrolled in an analytic training course of study.”
Upon publishing an article on her thoughts and observations, Edward was asked to write a book on the subject. She wrote “Separation-Individuation” collaboratively with two colleagues, with each contributor writing several chapters. The book was well received and provided the basis for greater discussion and ideas about the developmental process that led to subsequent studies, articles and books.
After 13 years at the school, Edward took a position in the Freeport Public Schools in a program funded by Democratic President Lyndon Johnson’s “war on poverty.” When the funding for this program ceased, she opened a small private practice and continued with this until she retired. During these years she also taught in the schools of social work at Adelphi University, Hunter College and Smith College as well as in two analytic training programs.
With the introduction of managed care into the mental health system, Edward and her colleagues founded the National Coalition of Mental Health Professionals & Consumers. The organization sought to restore privacy and to return to the clinician treating a patient their decision-making role.
Edward has lived in an independent living apartment at Jefferson’s Ferry for more than 14 years. Over that time, she has served on the residents council and the health committee, the social activities committee, the education committee as well as others. Through Stony Brook University’s OLLI program, she enjoys courses via Zoom, which currently include a political discussion newsroom, a music course with essayist David Bouchier and a class on the work of Leonard Bernstein.
An avid reader, she participates in book club discussions, one at the Emma S. Clark Memorial Library and the other at Jefferson’s Ferry. Recent reads include “Hamnet” by Maggie O’Farrell, “White Teeth” by Zadie Smith and works by Edith Wharton, George Eliot, George Packer and Anne Applebaum.
According to Edward, the best thing about Jefferson’s Ferry is the people, the residents and the staff — there are many interesting, knowledgeable and accomplished people. “More importantly is the understanding and support that we offer each other,” she said. “The residents have an appreciation of each other gained through our ages and experiences and have come to recognize what’s important in life.”
Linda Kolakowski is vice president of Residential Life at Jefferson’s Ferry Life Plan Community in South Setauket.
On Sunday, Dec. 5, participants of the Ward Melville Heritage Organization’s (WMHO) Holiday Tree Competition will bring festive cheer to the Stony Brook Village Center, 111 Main St., Stony Brook and decorate 50 premium balsam trees that will line the open-air center’s walkways at the 42nd annual Holiday Festival.
One tree will be selected by votes from the public between Sunday, Dec. 5and Monday, Dec. 20 to win a $150 gift certificate to Stony Brook Village and its establishments.
The decorated trees will remain in the village for viewing until Jan. 3.
Sponsors include Roosevelt Investments, Damianos Realty Group, GSE Dynamics, Central Semiconductor Corp and Armor Pest Control.
To learn more about the Holiday Tree Competition, call the WMHO office at 631-751-2244.
The tree at Heritage Park in Mount Sinai will be lit on Dec. 5 at 5 p.m. File photo by Kyle Barr
By Heidi Sutton
Enjoy caroling, treats, tree lightings, special visits from Santa, and more on the North Shore this weekend. Check next week’s TIMES … and dates for tree lightings taking place on Dec. 11 and 12.
Cold Spring Harbor
The Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery, 1660 Route 25A, Cold Spring Harbor will host a tree lighting ceremony on Dec. 4 from 5 to 7 p.m. Santa Claus will light the hatchery’s Christmas Tree at 5:30 p.m. Free admission. Suggested donation of $10 per family. 516- 692-6768.
Greenlawn
The Greenlawn Civic Association hosts a will host a “Meet at the Tree” Christmas Tree Lighting on Dec. 4 at 3:30 p.m. at the Harborfields Public Library Front Circle. Join them for a celebration that includes holiday music, hot cocoa and treats, and a visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus with the Greenlawn Fire Department. A food/gift card drive will also take place to benefit HACO. www.greenlawncivic.org.
Kings Park
The Kings Park Chamber of Commerce hosts a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony at Veterans Plaza, King Park on Dec. 4 at 4:15 p.m. Enjoy holiday music selections followed by invocation and welcome remarks from the chamber with hot chocolate and cookies for all. 631-269-7678
Mount Sinai
Join the Heritage Trust and the Mount Sinai Fire Department for a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony at Heritage Park, 633 Mount Sinai-Coram Road, Mount Sinai on Dec. 5 at 5 p.m. Listen to carols, enjoy hot chocolate and visit with Santa. 631-509-0882.
St. James
The St. James Chamber of Commerce invites the community to a Christmas Tree Lighting at Deepwells Farm County Park, 2 Taylor Lane, St. James on Dec. 4 at 4:30 p.m. with holiday music, pictures with Santa, cookies and hot chocolate. 631-584-8510.
Stony Brook
The Ward Melville Heritage Organization hosts a Holiday Tree Lighting at the Stony Brook Village Center Green, 111 Main St., Stony Brook on Dec. 5 at 5:30 p.m. as part of the WMHO’s 42nd annual Holiday Festival. 631-751-2244.
Wading River
Join The Shoppes at East Wind, 5768 Route 25A, Wading River for a Holiday Tree Lighting on Dec. 4 from 3 to 7 p.m. Stop by to put a letter in Santa’s mailbox, enjoy music and dancing, and more holiday fun including holiday shopping at their Winter Fest. Santa arrives on a Fire Truck to light the tree and take free photo with families. Santa will also be at the Shoppes on Dec. 11 and 18 from 11 a.m to 5 p.m. 631-929-3500
When she was little, my daughter loved to build sand castles. She’d put wet sand in a bucket, gently pull the bucket back and marvel at the details in the castles that came out.
My son wasn’t as interested in building castles. He derived special pleasure out of stomping on the castles she made. It wasn’t just that it gave him power over the sand: he also felt power over his older sister, who was furious with him for crushing her castles.
While I tried to reason with him, which is almost as effective today as it was when he was two, I came up with an alternative plan that required additional energy from me, but that created peace on the beach. I’d quickly put together a ring of 15 castles, grabbing wet sand and dumping it several feet from where my daughter was working on her creation.
Like a young Olympic sprinter, my son would race over to the collection of castles and stomp all over them, while my daughter slowly built her own city of sand.
These days, it seems, we are surrounded by people eager to stomp on everyone else’s sandcastles.
Sure, it’s satisfying to feel the figurative sand in our toes and to revel in tearing down what other people have created.
But, really, given all the challenges of the world, I think we should ask a few questions of all those people who are so eager to belittle, attack and undermine others. What’s your solution? What are you doing better? How would you fix the problem?
Insulting others for their efforts, their awkwardness or their perceived flaws often seems like a form of ladderism. No one wants to be on the bottom rung of a ladder, so people try to push others down or to shout to anyone who will listen about how much better they are than the people below them. That seems to be a sign of weakness or insecurity, reflecting the notion that other people are below them.
In addition to dumping on others, we live in a society of people for whom hearing views that differ from their own somehow turns them into victims. Surely we have more choices than simply, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” If someone doesn’t agree with you, maybe it’s worth finding out why.
Anger, frustration and hatred, while they may make us feel slightly better in the moment, aren’t solutions and they don’t improve our world. They are a form of destructive energy, like stomping on sand castles.
We should ask more of ourselves and from our leaders. I’m tired of hearing about politicians who will fight for me. I don’t want to send people into office to fight against others who are trying to do the best they can for the country. I want leaders who will learn, listen and, gasp, reach across the aisle in the search for solutions.
While platforms aren’t as sizzling as slogans or take downs, they include ideas and potential solutions.
Civility makes it possible for us to hear and learn.
We have enough threats to our lives without needing to turn against other people or to give in to the urge to crush other people’s sandcastles to feel better. We don’t all have to be best friends, but it’d be nice to look forward to a holiday season and the start of a new year that focused on a shared sense of purpose. We need better ideas, not better ways to attack.