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D. None of the Above: A novel and free food stop sign on the way to a jelly donut

by Daniel Dunaief - February 9, 2023

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N1902P46002H — Jelly donuts. METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

You don’t have to pay me. I’m not selling anything, and I don’t have any desire for you to provide testimonials.

Many of you have probably pledged to lose weight. It’s healthy, you’ll look and feel better, and you might increase your endurance, allowing you to walk, jog or engage in your exercise of choice for longer. Some of you may have gone to the gym for a week or even a month and are ready for a break or, maybe, a different way.

Before I proceed, I’d recommend that those with weak stomachs or who are eating one of their favorite meals not read this until you’ve happily digested your food and are now prepared for something that might not be all that pleasing.

No, I’m not going to suggest something harmful or particularly unhealthy. I’d like to suggest a few sensory images to keep in mind that will prevent you from eating too much of the wrong foods.

So, let’s say there’s a jelly donut at your office. Now, I want you to picture or imagine any of the following:

— You’re exercising at the gym (you don’t have to go to the gym. Just imagine yourself there). Maybe you’re on an elliptical machine. There, standing in front of you is a man who has a ring of hair above his ears and a bald spot on top of his head. He’s on the phone, with air pods in his ears, and he brings his index finger slowly to the bald part of his head. He starts digging his fingernail into that spot. Over and over and over again. You try to look away, but then, he’s still there, digging. Even with all the noise of other people grunting, sweating and clearing the phlegm from the backs of their throats, you can hear the scratching as if it were broadcast directly into your ears. You want him to leave, but he’s planted in front of you.

Yes, I know I may have turned you off the gym and food at the same time. Then again, were you really going to the gym or were you just looking for an excuse to cuddle up under the covers? And, yes, this did happen to me.

— Okay, next, you’re walking into a house filled with dogs after a rainstorm. The dogs are friendly enough and, in fact, want you to pet them, which is fairly unpleasant because their fur is covered with water. Soon, the smell of matted, wet, soggy dog fur overwhelms you. You can barely breathe as you search for an open window and fresh air. That donut might taste like wet fur at this moment, right?

— You don’t have to work out to imagine this one, either. Picture yourself in a gym locker room. You’ve changed into your work clothes and are ready to return to your desk. But, wait, the scent of body odor is so strong that you have to breathe shallowly through your mouth. You search for the exit, which seems to have moved, leaving you stuck in a foul-smelling maze. A jelly donut is the last thing on your mind.

— The heating system in your office suddenly goes on full blast, turning your office into a sauna. It’s so hot that sweat drips down your forehead and lands in a growing puddle on the floor. Your body sticks to the material on your seat. Even the saliva in your mouth feels too hot to swallow. Water is much more appealing and refreshing than food at this point.

Okay, so, if all you got out of that is that you now want a jelly donut, my apologies. Chances are, you wanted one anyway and maybe it’s time to find a gym that smells nice and where men aren’t scratching their scalps. If, however, those unappealing images work for you, consider this a free food stop sign.

Between You and Me: Shame and honor…two lost words

by Leah Dunaief - February 9, 2023

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By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

Has anyone noticed that there seems to be a conspicuous lack of shame in our society? One could also point out, in the lacking department, the disappearance of honor. And to a great extent, of respect. Yes, and even civility, courtesy, apology and politeness.

Now I am not pointing a finger at any particular demographic, as in, “In my generation, we always stood up if we were seated, when introduced to an elderly lady,” or “Children shouldn’t talk to their teachers that way.” Members of older generations have traditionally found fault with those coming up after them, for being less ambitious, or mannerly or some such. But I would hope I am not just another cranky, older person. No, I’m referring to something else, something more sinister in our present culture.

Now I am not accusing everyone here. Just saying that these qualities seem to be a lot less evident in today’s world. I guess if you never need to tell the truth, you never have to admit that you lost a tennis match … or an election.

That loss of good sportsmanship is troubling. I like to see, for example, when the other two participants in a nightly round of “Jeopardy!” turn and applaud the winner at the end of the contest. It makes me feel that we are all together as part of a community when the ball teams each form a line and shake hands with the opposing team members, however competitive the preceding game might have been.

George Santos (R-NY3), the newly elected Congressman from Queens, is a case in point. He is merely a product of our times, if an extreme one. While he now admits to falsifying the resume he campaigned on, he seems to consider his behavior acceptable, exaggerating not lying. During Tuesday night’s State of the Union address, he unabashedly sashayed around the room, sitting in one of the most visible seats, shaking hands with many senators and the president, even taking selfies. He clearly feels no shame about his actions and no sense of consequence. What sort of culture does he come from? The answer is: one in which the lack of all the above attributes rule.

Santos is not the first such example, of course. I am reminded of the historic, “At long last, have you left no sense of decency?” question asked of Sen. Joseph McCarthy (R-WI) by soft spoken American lawyer, Joseph Nye Welch, for the Army during the infamous Army-McCarthy hearings. Those hearings searched for Communist activities in the early 1950s on behalf of the Senate. McCarthy lied his way to power, but Welch’s immortal query, in effect, ended his career, as his Republican colleagues no longer accepted his erratic antics, censured and ostracized him.

Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT), before Biden’s speech and noting Santos’s actions, told him he “shouldn’t have been there,” meaning front and center in the House, and had no shame. But so far, Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA20) — odd repetition of names — has not publicly challenged or denounced him.

“He shouldn’t be in Congress,” Romney said, when he was questioned by the press after Biden’s speech about the testy exchange with Santos . “If he had any shame at all, he wouldn’t be there.”

Far from shame, Santos tweeted Romney, “Hey @MittRomney, just a reminder that you will NEVER be PRESIDENT!” Romney, of course, lost his presidential bid in 2012.

Perhaps in the culture of today, not only does one refrain from acknowledging wrongdoing but rather, when challenged, comes back fighting. How far we have come in our ethics evolution. Sounds a bit like Putin, doesn’t it?

Ward Melville Patriots power past Bellport Clippers

by Bill Landon - February 7, 2023

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The Patriots of Ward Melville (12-2) went on the attack Feb. 6 against Bellport, fueled by Julia Greek’s perimeter shooting in a Division II matchup. Tied for first place in the division, the Patriots powered their way past Bellport for the 75-55 win looking to bolster their postseason seeding.

Greek, no stranger to the top of the scoring chart scored four triples, five field goals and three free throws for 25 points. Catie Edson followed with 15 points and Kyra Gianelli banked 13.

The win lifts the Patriots first place in the division with one game remaining before postseason play begins Feb. 14.

As vehicle thefts surge, Suffolk police detective warns against leaving key fobs in cars

by Raymond Janis - February 4, 2023

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The Suffolk County Police Department has observed a recent uptick in stolen vehicles and now urges residents to take precautions.

Detective Richard Marra of SCPD offered a brief history of the crime phenomenon in a phone interview. While vehicle theft cases have been recurrent, the detective noted that the crime is relatively preventable.

“Ninety percent of the cars that are stolen are probably stolen because [drivers] leave the key fobs in the car,” he said.

Marra said the police department first noticed the trend about three years ago when an organized out-of-state group started targeting luxury models.

“We had a group of guys coming out of New Jersey, mostly from Newark, and they would go to the more affluent neighborhoods,” he said. “They’d come in a van, walk down the street and look for any kind of foreign car.”

Thieves often sought out vehicles with the mirrors folded open. This, Marra said, was an indicator that the vehicle was unlocked.

If the key fob was left inside, they would easily steal the vehicle. If not, they may rummage through it for hidden valuables.

“Three years ago, it was crazy,” Marra said. “It slowed down a little bit in the last eight months, but we still have a lot of thefts of cars because the key fobs are left in the car.”

The SCPD detective said that the New Jersey bunch often resold their stolen cars on the secondary market. In a highly coordinated manner, they would steal the cars, drive to New Jersey, remove any GPS trackers and then prepare them for international shipment.

“When they had a container ready, they put them on the container, and it was usually going to South Africa,” Marra said.

While the group from New Jersey had targeted luxury models, some vehicle thieves are less interested in the car’s resale value than its utility.

Marra said some would use the vehicle to temporarily transport drugs or steal catalytic converters, then discard it. While victims of this variety of theft often retrieved their stolen cars, its condition could be irreversibly impaired.

“The ones that are taking just any car — anything that happens to be left with the fob in it — may drive it around for a day or two and then leave it somewhere,” he said. “Sometimes it’s destroyed, sometimes it’s not, but most of the time it’s not in the shape you left it in.”

The spike in vehicle theft follows another auto theft crime that has hit the county, the theft of catalytic converters. [See story, “Catalytic converter theft on the rise in Suffolk County,” TBR News Media website, Feb. 26, 2022.]

Marra indicated that catalytic converter theft has fallen off substantially in recent months due primarily to coordinated arrests conducted with the federal government.

For residents to protect themselves from vehicle theft, he said there is a simple solution — taking their fobs with them as they exit their cars.

“If people would take their key fobs with them and never leave them in the car, I’d say 90 to 95% of the car thefts would go down,” the detective said. “You just have to keep your keys in your pocket instead of leaving them in the console or the glove compartment.”

He added, “I know it’s nice to just jump in and drive away — but then everybody could jump in and drive away.”

North Shore residents will see closures of Investors Bank branches

by Rita J. Egan - February 3, 2023

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Investors-Bank_regan — The Setauket branch of Investors Bank will close in February. Photo by Rita J. Egan

Many Investors Bank customers will soon find an empty building where they once traveled to take care of their financial matters.

Last year, Citizens Bank, headquartered in Providence, Rhode Island, acquired New Jersey-based Investors Bank. While Investors’ doors remained open to customers, the process of the merger began in August as investmentaccounts transferred to Citizens, and in October, mortgage loan services transitioned from Investors to Citizens.

According to the Citizens website, the merger will “offer Investors’ customers an expanded set of products and services, enhanced online and mobile banking capabilities, and more branch locations, along with a continued commitment to making a difference in our local communities.”

While the East Northport location on Larkfield Road will remain open doing business under the Citizens name, the Investors Commack location on Jericho Turnpike will close Feb. 14. The Huntington branch on Main Street and the Setauket location on Route 25A will close their doors for the last time Feb. 15. All three due-to-be closed branches have Citizens operating nearby.

Nuno Dos Santos, retail director of Citizens, said the banks located in Commack, Huntington and East Setauket are less than 2 miles away from the Investors branches that are closing.

“As we continue to integrate Investors with Citizens, we have been reviewing customer patterns and branch locations to ensure we are serving customers when, where and how they prefer,” Dos Santos said. “As a result of this review, we will close the Investors branch locations in Commack, Huntington and Setauket.”

Current Investors employees have been encouraged to apply for positions at Citizens, according to a company spokesperson.

Wanted for Stony Brook Petit Larceny

by Press Release - February 3, 2023

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0-2 — Do you recognize this man? Photo from SCPD

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk Police Sixth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate two people who allegedly stole items from a Stony Brook store.

Two men, including the man pictured above, allegedly stole tool sets and other items from Lowes, located at 2150 Nesconset Highway, on January 21 at 2:15 p.m. They fled in a blue Ford F-150.

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS, utilizing a mobile app which can be downloaded through the App Store or Google Play by searching P3 Tips, or online at www.P3Tips.com. All calls, text messages and emails will be kept
confidential.

Holtsville Hal makes wintry prediction at annual Groundhog Day event

by Heidi Sutton - February 2, 2023

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By Heidi Sutton

The Town of Brookhaven held its annual Groundhog Day celebration at the Holtsville Ecology Site and Animal Preserve on Thursday, Feb. 2. Many families with young children braved the frigid weather to hear a very important prediction from Suffolk County’s most famous weatherman, Holtsville Hal.

Before he read this year’s prognostication, Town of Brookhaven Superintendent Dan Losquadro gave a bit of history of Groundhog Day and how it began in Pennsylvania in 1886 but joked, “We like to say we have the most accurate weatherman. I know they’ve been doing it for longer there in Pennsylvania but Holtsville Hal is the real deal here. Punxsutawney Phil, he had his time; it’s time for Holtsville Hal now.”

At 7:25 a.m. sharp, before a crowd of several hundred spectators, the groundhog awoke from his slumber and saw his shadow, which, according to folklore, means six more weeks of winter.

Superintendent Losquadro read Hal’s official 2023 prediction with help from the town’s newly appointed clerk, Kevin LaValle.

“As I stepped out of my burrow on this early winter morn’, I rubbed at my eyes and let out a great yawn. It soon became clear the crowd was not here for Honey Bear, my prognostication was what everyone was waiting to hear. Six more weeks of winter or an early spring? I know you can’t wait what my prediction will bring. And so, at 7:25 a.m. on this brisk winter day, I have recorded my prediction and am sorry to say, at sunrise this morning I was startled to see, a shadow in the shape of … none other than me. I scurried back inside to return to my nap, not before reminding you to hold onto your mittens and cap. Spring will have to wait, Mother Nature is not through; six more weeks of winter you can look forward to!”

“I’m always hopeful Hal will predict an early spring and assist with my snow removal budget, but if his prediction proves to be correct, the Brookhaven Highway Department remains ready to handle whatever Mother Nature sends our way,” said Superintendent Losquadro. “I want to thank everyone who took the time to come out and take part in this fun, annual tradition.”

After the event, festivalgoers were treated to bagels courtesy of Bagel Lovers and hot chocolate from 7-Eleven and were able to visit the 100 animals that call the Ecology Site home including deer, horses, goats, llamas, hawks and its newest addition, Leo the Lynx. The center, which is open all year-round, also includes greenhouses, gardens, and jogging and exercise trails. For more information, visit www.brookhavenny.gov or call 631-451-5330.

Editorial: Substance over slander — The art of letter writing

by TBR Staff - February 1, 2023

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To our readers: We appreciate your weekly letters to the editor. Writing a letter enables vital communication and contributes to a meaningful community dialogue. It is also a safety valve for expressing different, equally passionately held opinions in a civil fashion.

Letter writing can be powerful as the writer broadcasts opinions to the wider public. Here at TBR News Media, our editorial staff shoulders responsibility in channeling that message appropriately.

We hope writers and readers can regard our letters page as a community forum, a place to express themselves and potentially influence their peers and neighbors. But by necessity, this forum must be moderated to function. When a writer expresses a thought as a fact, we do our best to confirm the information is accurate. If we cannot find the information on our own, we go back to the writer and ask for a source. As journalists, we have an obligation to ensure that the facts cited are verified, that we are not allowing someone to use our letters page to spread misinformation or vitriol.

Often we are asked why our letters do not focus squarely on local matters. It’s simple — we don’t receive as many localized letters as we would like.

Our editors aim to choose letters that represent a mix of local, county, state and national topics. We also look for a mix of opinions from conservative, liberal and moderate points of view. Letters serve as a form of public debate, and people from various sides of the political spectrum should be heard.

Moderating our letters page, we view ourselves as mediators for the various interests and opinions of the community. By sharing diverse perspectives on a range of topics, we arm our readers with the information and give them the freedom to make up their own minds.

We are asked why certain writers appear regularly on the opinion page. It’s because they write to us often and thoughtfully, and contribute to the public dialogue. We welcome and encourage letters from readers, and we hope to continue seeing new names each week.

Sometimes, we don’t receive a substantial number of letters to choose from each week that gives both sides of an issue.

If readers feel something is missing from our paper — whether from the news or editorial sections — we urge that they write us. We welcome readers’ thoughts — including criticism — regarding our content. Please feel free to react to a recent article or reflect upon life in our hometown. You can comment on an entertaining festival or even chronicle a delightful day spent at the park. The opportunities for letter writing are endless, so don’t be shy. Let your thoughts be heard.

We edit letters not to censor, but to catch grammatical mistakes, for consistency and to protect the media outlet and letter writers from libel suits. We edit for A.P. style, which is the standard in most U.S.-based news publications. We also edit for length and good taste. If a letter runs longer, we may print it as a perspective piece along with the writer’s photo.

As for good taste, our letters page is not the place to bash a neighbor or a fellow writer. There are plenty of instances when one writer will reference another person and their letter, addressing specific ideas in the other’s writings, and that’s acceptable. However, name-calling or denigration are not helpful.

In the past, we have received letters using derogatory nicknames for presidents and other officials and political figures. We do our best to edit out uncivil language.

The letters page is not a place for one to spew animosity or insults. If blanket, hateful statements are made about a group of people based on the color of their skin, ethnicity or religion, they will not be published. Our letters page is designed to add to, not detract from, a healthy public discourse.

So, please send us a letter — see address and formal policy statement to the right of this editorial. We are always interested in your thoughts, especially regarding what goes on in our coverage area.

D.None of the Above: A pink llama, an empty car seat and some perspective

by Daniel Dunaief - February 1, 2023

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By Daniel Dunaief

One day, you’re playing with your twin sons at home, running around with a ball on the driveway, calling and waving to neighbors who pass by when they walk their dogs or take their daily stroll through the neighborhood.

The next day, your life changes.

You want to know why or how, but you’re too busy trying to apply the brakes to a process that threatens the nature of your existence and your current and future happiness.

Your son had some gastrointestinal issues for a few weeks. You took him to the pediatrician and he said he’s got to get over a virus.

You wait, hope, and maybe say a few extra prayers, because the hardest thing for any parent to endure is the sickness of a child.

You check on him, day after day, hoping he’s better, only to find that there’s no improvement.

Suddenly, three weeks later, you’re in the hospital, trying to keep yourself, your spouse, and your other son calm while doctors remove a malignant brain cancer in a 5-year-old boy who defines “goofy” and “playful.”

One of our close friends in our neighborhood just started this unimaginable battle against a disease many of us know all too well, although the specific form of cancer varies.

Their babysitter shared the horror of the prior weekend with me outside the window of her passing car, where she normally would have driven both the twins to school.

I heard the story because I asked about the empty car seat in the back, where both boys typically showed me whatever stuffed animals or toys they had decided to bring to school, either for show and tell or because they were carrying an object that began with a particular letter.

As I talked with the babysitter, who spoke in the kind of hushed and dramatic tones often associated with discussions about serious health crises, I thought about how hard it was and will be for the other son. I thought he needed the kind of 5-year-old normalcy that might become hard to find when he’s worried about his brother and the anxious adults around him.

I asked him to show me what he was holding. He had a pink llama, who he said wanted to poop on my head or on my dog’s head.

I told him that my dog wouldn’t appreciate the poop unless the stuffed llama somehow pooped pink marshmallows.

He laughed, flashing all his straight baby teeth.

As I walked home, I thought of all the things my wife and I planned to offer our neighbors. Maybe we’d babysit the healthy son, walk their dogs, help with house chores, bring over food, do anything to lighten the unbearably heavy load.

I also thought about all the scientists at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory, Brookhaven National Laboratory and Stony Brook University I have known who are working towards cures for cancer.

Many of them know someone in their family, their friend group, their neighborhood, or their schools who, like my daughter’s beloved first-grade teacher, suddenly were in a battle for their lives against a disease that steals time and joy from people’s lives.

Their labs often invite or include family members of people with cancer to staff meetings and discussions about their work, making the connection between what the scientists are studying and the people desperate for solutions.

It seems utterly cliche to write it, but I’m going to do it anyway: we should appreciate and enjoy the days we have when we’re not in that battle. The annoyance of dealing with someone who got our order wrong at a restaurant seems so spectacularly small in comparison.

We can appreciate that the person who seems like a total jerk for cutting us off on our way home may also be the one racing back to hug his child or spouse after an impossible day that changed his life.

Between You and Me: ‘The Sopranos’ and our scary sailboat ride

by Leah Dunaief - February 1, 2023

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The-Sopranos_S.01_E.13_I-Dream-of-Jeannie-Cusamano-2 — Season 1, Episode 13 of 'The Sopranos'

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

Having been exposed to the pleasure of streaming movies on my “smart” television, I now look for good stories and have caught up with “The Sopranos.” I well remember how popular the series was, running from Jan. 10, 1999, to June 10, 2007, winning all kinds of awards and addicting millions with its 86 episodes. Somehow I never caught up with the drama, but now, thanks to HBOMax, I have turned the family room into a nightly theater and watch as Tony Soprano tries to balance his work “family” and his biological family responsibilities, thanks to the help of an Italian-American woman psychiatrist.

At the end of the latest installment, Tony, his wife Carmela and his daughter and son are driving at night when they are deluged by a wild rainstorm. Unable to see the road ahead, and with all of them feeling in peril, Tony parks and ushers his family into an Italian restaurant nearby. There, despite the loss of electricity, the proprietor cooks a marvelous pasta dinner for them, which they finally calm down and eat by candlelight, huddled together at a table in the warm and dry dining room. As he is appreciating the spaghetti on his fork, Tony looks up and says to his children something like, “When you think back on your childhood, it will be scenes like this that you will remember,” while the camera fades out.

That got me thinking. Can I recall such scenes from my childhood, when being with my family in a safe place was so comforting?

One of the first such memories for me was of an intense rainstorm in the Catskill Mountains. I was perhaps 5 or 6 and with my mother and sister in a dilapidated cabin, whose roof leaked ominously. After my mother put pails under the leaks, she realized I was frightened. “Just wait,” she said with a smile, “This storm has brought us pancakes.” With that, she took out a large frying pan from the cupboard, mixed together flour, eggs and milk, poured Hi-Hat peanut oil (the popular brand then) into the pan, and started cooking the mixture, as thunder cracked overhead. Almost immediately, the irresistible smell of the pancakes started to fill the rustic room.

My mother dabbed the extra oil from the dollar-sized pancakes at the stove, put them on a platter on the kitchen table, brought out a bottle of maple syrup, and my sister and I started to eat ravenously. Soon, my mother joined us at the table, and despite the frequent bolts of lightning I could see through the windows behind her head, and the dripping water in the buckets, I felt warm and safe.

The only trouble with that memory: every time there is a heavy rain, I get the urge for pancakes.

I asked my middle son if he had such a memory, and he remembered when we were out in the Sound in our 22-foot Pearson Ensign day sailboat, and the wind and seas suddenly picked up. We had been enjoying a sunny, peaceful sail near New Haven harbor, my husband and three sons and I, sprawled out in the big cockpit, when the unexpected shift in weather occurred.

With the waves towering around us, we pulled down the sail, put the outboard motor at the stern on high speed, and made for the harbor. My husband, at the tiller, gave each of us a task. My sons were to bail out the water that was flooding the cockpit with every crashing wave, and I was to sit on top of the motor to try and keep it in the water every time a wave pushed us up.

Needless to say, it was a harrowing ride until we finally reached shore and tied up at the marina, onlookers clapping. We left the boat and were thrilled to be on the sand. Drenched as we were, we walked the short distance to the harborside restaurant, Chart House and, laughing by then, had one of the best meals of our lives.

By the way, if you, too, missed “The Sopranos” the first time around, I heartily recommend it.

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