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Smithtown East point guard Jules Nestor drives the lane in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Smithtown East’s Juliana Gandrillas battles her way to the basket in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Melanie Pappas shoots from the charity stripe for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Smithtown East’s Juliana Gandrillas battles her way to the basket in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Angie Camarda lets a three pointer fly for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Angie Camarda banks two for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Melanie Pappas shoots for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Smithtown East point guard Jules Nestor drives the lane in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Angie Camarda lets a three pointer fly for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Melanie Pappas passes inside for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Angie Camarda sets the play for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Angie Camarda scores for Smithtown East in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon
Ward Melville sophomore Kaitlyn McNeil with a reverse layup for the Patriots in a road game against Smithtown East. Photo by Bill Landon
Meg Popielaski tries to block Grace Balocca’s shot in a non-league matchup Dec. 4. Bill Landon photo
Ward Melville sophomore Kaitlyn McNeil shoots for two for the Patriots in a road game against Smithtown East. Photo by Bill Landon
Ward Melville senior Grace Balocca scores for the Patriots in a road game against Smithtown East. Photo by Bill Landon
Ward Melville sophomore Jaclyn Engel lays up for two for the Patriots in a road game against Smithtown East. Photo by Bill Landon
Ward Melville sophomore Kaitlyn McNeil lays up for two for the Patriots in a road game against Smithtown East. Photo by Bill Landon
Ward Melville sophomore guard Jaclyn Engel fights her way to the rim. Photo by Bill Landon
Smithtown East point guard Jules Nestor from the free throw line in a home game against Ward Melville. Photo by Bill Landon

By Bill Landon

After a season-opening win against Mount Sinai, the Patriots of Ward Melville looked to make it two in a row with a road game against the Bulls of Smithtown East Dec. 4 but had their hands full against a swarming defensive press. 

Protecting a one-point lead to open the second half, the nonleague contest was a seesaw battle where both teams traded points right down to the final minute. The Patriots had the ball in the final seconds ahead by two which forced the Bulls to intentionally foul to stop the clock, where the Patriots sealed the deal from the charity stripe to put the game away 39-35.

The Patriots retake the court with another nonleague matchup Friday night, Dec. 8, with a home game against Centereach before opening their league season against visiting William Floyd Dec. 12.

Smithtown East looks for that first win in this early season with a road game against crosstown rival Smithtown West Thursday, Dec. 7, with tipoff scheduled for 5:45 p.m.

— Photos by Bill Landon

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The USS Shaw explodes during the Japanese assault on Pearl Harbor Dec. 7, 1941. Public domain photo

By Rich Acritelli

“We thought they were U.S. planes until we saw the big red sun on the wings, and they began to bomb and strafe, and there was that big red sun on their wings, and it was war.”

 — William Harvey, USS Sacramento, 1941

Eighty-two years ago on Dec. 7, the Empire of Japan struck the United States Armed Forces stationed at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

In the early morning hours, a massive Japanese naval and air presence was just 200 miles off the coast of these islands as military personnel and civilians awaited a leisurely Sunday. In an attack that lasted a little over two hours, an American population was thrust into a global conflict.

The surprise attack stunned government and military officials alike. Many Americans were shocked by this news, deluded by the inaccurate perception that the Japanese were not capable of hitting Hawaii with any robust force.

Instead, airmen, army forces and naval ships were reeling from continual aerial assaults by the Japanese Zero fighter aircraft that openly strafed American targets. From Japanese aircraft carriers, 40 torpedo planes, 103 level bombers, 131 dive bombers and 79 fighters opened up the war against American targets.

Once the smoke cleared, 2,403 American service members were killed, more than 1,000 injured and 19 American ships were crippled or destroyed.

The United States was fortunate that its three aircraft carriers were at sea. Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto initially stressed caution against this attack. He openly believed that if the American carriers were not hit, he could “run wild” for a year before the “sleeping giant awoke.”

Yamamoto, who traveled extensively around the United States, fully understood America’s economic and military potential, worrying that Japan would lose any long war against this country. The next day, President Franklin D. Roosevelt (D) rallied a shaken nation, announcing that a “state of war” existed between the U.S. and Japan.

Americans from all walks of life entered the U.S. Armed Forces to avenge this national tragedy and oppose the rise of fascism. The Japanese and Germans faced limited military achievements, but they underestimated the American resolve to mobilize every facet of its government, economy and population. 

By 1945, America and its allies had achieved “complete” and “utter” victory first against Germany and then Japan.

A way to remember

Dec. 7, 1941, is a national day of remembrance of service for many past, present and future veterans. Recently, Thomas Semkow, a lifetime member of Rocky Point VFW Post 6249, died of cancer on Nov. 13, at 78. A soft-spoken man who was born in Manhattan and enjoyed every aspect of the Rocky Point VFW, Thomas was a Vietnam veteran. He was sent to Vietnam during the height of the fighting. Thomas had the unique experience of being a member of the Green Berets as a medic who worked closely with American and South Vietnamese forces who directly fought the Vietcong and the North Vietnamese Army.

Never one to speak about his experiences during the war, Thomas’ military achievements are on display at the VFW 6249 Suffolk County World War II and Military History Museum, opening Thursday, Dec. 7.

His death is a continual reminder of the older World War II, Korean and Vietnam war veterans who are dying on a daily basis. They sacrificed greatly to defend this nation. Let us remember now their valor during the Japanese attack.

Rich Acritelli is a history teacher at Rocky Point High School, adjunct professor at Suffolk County Community College and curator of the VFW 6249 Suffolk County World War II and Military History Museum.

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Photo from Gurwin Jewish Nursing & Rehabilitation Center

Gurwin Jewish Nursing & Rehabilitation Center brought the magic of the MACY*S Thanksgiving Parade to the heart of their nursing home community with their third annual Gurwin Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“Our Gurwin Thanksgiving Parade has become a new tradition that is beloved by our residents, staff and visitors” said Kathleen Biggs, Assistant Director of Therapeutic Recreation at Gurwin. “We are so pleased to be able to bring the magic of the holiday season to our residents and to share this special time with them.”

Gurwin’s creative Therapeutic Recreation staff turned 18 medical carts into brightly colored “floats” decorated in themes including Garfield, Spiderman and Mickey Mouse, akin to the iconic balloon floats from the MACY*S parade. The base of each float was created in five hours while all balloons seen on the floats took four hours to be inflated. Guided by 10 handlers in Thanksgiving-themed attire, the homemade floats wound their way along the parade route, through vestibules and hallways, their twinkling lights shining for the nearly 400 short- and long-term residents currently living at Gurwin.

The parade was led by four-year-old Lily, daughter of Nicole Hopper, Director of Therapeutic Recreation at Gurwin, and Dr. Frank Hansen and the Commack High School Jazz Messengers Band, who provided live music for Gurwin residents to get in the holiday spirit.

“The Gurwin Thanksgiving Parade is a wonderful kickoff to the holiday season,” said Stuart B. Almer, President and CEO of Gurwin Healthcare System. “We are so thankful to our talented and compassionate staff who work tirelessly to support the physical and emotional needs of our residents. Our unique parade creates a holiday buzz throughout the Gurwin community; it has become a much-anticipated event by all.”

 

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Erica Pereira will star as the Sugarplum Fairy in George Balanchine’s 'The Nutcracker.'

New York Dance Theatre will present its 41st season of “The Nutcracker” at Hofstra University in Hempstead on Saturday, December 16 and Sunday, December 17 with performances each day at noon and 5 p.m.  

Local young dancers will share the stage with New York City Ballet stars Erica Pereira (a Northport native) and Daneil Ulbricht. The girls, students at the Ohman School of Ballet in Commack, perform multiple roles in the iconic holiday story ballet including children in the Party Scene, Toy Soldiers and Mice in the Battle Scene, Snowflakes, Angels, and various confections in the Land of Sweets.

Eileen Huntsman, a seventh grader at East Northport Middle School from Northport, plays the central role of “Clara” in two of the four performances at Hofstra University.  Olivia Telis, an eigth grader at Candlewood Middle School will play the role of “Clara” in the other two performances. Amelia Novellino, a sixth grader at St. Patrick’s School in Smithtown and Elizabeth Pau, a fifth grader at Sawmill Intermediate in Commack, share the pivotal role of Clara’s brother “Fritz,” who breaks Clara’s Nutcracker and sets the plot in motion, each in two of the four performances.

This year’s cast includes young dancers from the area as follows: Elodie Hennessy and Violet Hennessy of Centerport; Amari Bhalla, Anna Clemente, Melina Cuccia, Elysena De Stefano, Brynn Farino, Anna Gross, Isabel Gross, Sofia Gross, Marilyn Ihasz, Emma Martir, Isabella Song, Alyssa Tavares, Sara Tobia, Nina Van Zandt, and Vivienne Vasquez of Commack; Priya Chan, Esther Cheong, Mikaela Gluck, Arpi Harutyunyan, Aviva Hellman, Galina Hellman, Ariel Kerley, Hazel Maccarone, Elizabeth Pau, Carina San José, Adrianna Stucchio, Annabelle Telis, and Olivia Telis of Dix Hills; Kaia Abdulkhalek, Amelie Brody, Knox Brody, Addison Candelaria, and Valentina Linardic of East Northport; Angelina Zhang of East Setauket; Seraphina Moger of Greenlawn; Sarah Shao and Charlotte Stratton of Huntington; Magdalen Schaefer of Kings Park; Olivia Deng of Melville; Mary Calefato of Nesconset; Eileen Huntsman, Penelope Moloney, and Henley Nemeth of Northport; Laila DarConte, Amelia Novellino, Chloe Foster, Samara Kolodny, Molly Haft, and Evelyn McCaughey of Smithtown; Sonya Russo of St. James; and Mira Chang of Stony Brook.

Through the years, NYDT founder Frank Ohman (1939-2019), a former student and soloist under George Balanchine, set his staging after his mentor’s iconic Lincoln Center version, and the production includes the original Sugarplum Fairy Pas de Deux from George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker ® by permission of the George Balanchine Trust. In addition, Ohman created original dances and scenes that set his production apart from others on Long Island. 

New York City Ballet soloist Erica Pereira – a Long Island native – and principal dancer Daniel Ulbricht will perform as the Sugar Plum Fairy and her Cavalier in all performances. Mr. Ulbricht also serves as an artistic advisor for the Ohman School of Ballet, a division of New York Dance Theatre, and has been a recurring master class instructor at the school.

With the elegant Christmas Party Scene, the drama of the magical growing Christmas Tree, the Battle of the Toy Soldiers and Giant Mice, the live snowstorm, and the brilliant dancing in the Land of the Sweets, “The Nutcracker” appeals to all ages.  In all, a cast of 80 children, pre-professional and professional dancers will bring this classic story ballet to life on the stage of the John Cranford Adams Playhouse.   The children’s roles are performed by students of the Frank Ohman School of Ballet in Commack and the School of American Ballet (the home school of New York City Ballet). New this year under the direction of NYDT /Ohman School of Ballet alumna/Executive Artistic Director Nicole Loizides is a semi-immersive pre-show experience that invites audience members into the Silberhaus home before the curtain rises, with the sights, smells and sounds of the Christmas Eve party that is the setting for the ballet. Loizides returns to the NYDT Nutcracker stage for the first time in over a decade, playing the role of Frau Silberhaus.

The 41st season of “The Nutcracker” kicks off the company’s 50th anniversary on Long Island and the annual holiday tradition the start of a year of revival and growth.  As Loizides explains, “This year’s theme is about bringing it home!  We are bringing to light the direction of the school and company as founder Frank Ohman intended. I am rooted in the vision of bringing a new awareness to dance on Long Island, from classical to folkloric to contemporary. Our roots are alive, our repertoire is expanding, and our outreach is wide. We are bringing new works to life by world renowned choreographers, restaging many of Frank Ohman’s classics, and staging works by dance icons including George Balanchine, Antony Tudor, Agnes De Mille and Jerrome Robbins.”  

Tickets for this full production ballet are $45.00 and $35.00 (seniors and children 12 and under) plus $3 fee, available at www.ohmanballet.org or 631.462.0964.   Group discounts are available for 15 or more tickets in a single show and for Scout troops (ordered by phone and with Scout ID) as well as photo opportunities with specific ticket packages. Details about Covid-19 protocols for audience members are outlined on the website and are subject to change according to local government guidelines. A small portion of ticket sales goes to New York Dance Theatre’s Developpé program introducing dance to at-risk youth, foster families and children in need through workshops, classes, performances, mentors and scholarships in a partnership with Hope for Youth Long Island, Mommas House and Big Brothers Big Sisters of Long Island.

About the Frank Ohman School of Ballet 

The Frank Ohman School of Ballet was founded in 1979 by Frank Ohman (1939-2019), former soloist at New York City Ballet (NYCB).  Located in Commack, the school serves as a training ground for promising young dancers and offers aspiring students the opportunity to learn classical ballet in the style passed down from George Balanchine to his protégé, Frank Ohman.  The school is a non-competition, non-recital school, focusing on proper classical ballet technique. A division of the New York Dance Theatre, Inc., the Ohman School has become an integral part of the company and is one of the very few not-for-profit ballet schools in the region.  It offers three studios with state-of-the art flooring to Balanchine specifications and a highly qualified teaching staff. Artistic advisors for the school include New York City Ballet principal Daniel Ulbricht and retired New York City Ballet principal Ask la Cour, who served as Artistic Director of the school following Frank Ohman’s passing, as well as former Dance Theatre of Harlem principal Da’Von Doane.

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A scene from 'Frozen Jr' at the Smithtown Performing Arts Center. Photo by Jackie St. Louis/SPAC
A scene from 'Frozen Jr' at the Smithtown Performing Arts Center. Photo by Jackie St. Louis/SPAC
A scene from 'Frozen Jr' at the Smithtown Performing Arts Center. Photo by Jackie St. Louis/SPAC
A scene from 'Frozen Jr' at the Smithtown Performing Arts Center. Photo by Jackie St. Louis/SPAC
A scene from 'Frozen Jr' at the Smithtown Performing Arts Center. Photo by Jackie St. Louis/SPAC

By Julianne Mosher

Do you want to build a snowman? Well, if not now, then you definitely will after watching the latest production of Frozen Jr. at the Smithtown Center for the Performing Arts. 

Based on the popular Disney film, Frozen, this show takes shape as a junior version of the hit 2018 Broadway musical performed by local kids with very big talents.  

Directed and choreographed by Katy Snair with musical direction by Vincent Donnadio, the show will have viewers smiling from start to finish. Ranging in age from 8 to 17, the 17-member cast is extremely talented and clearly love what they are doing. 

But first, a synopsis. The story follows two inseparable sisters who are princesses in the kingdom of Arendelle. The eldest, Elsa, was born with magical powers that allow her to create ice and snow. But as a young child, Elsa doesn’t know how to control her powers and while building a snowman wither her sister Anna, she accidentally harms her. While Anna is healed by the mysterious Hidden Folk (spiritual forest people), their parents decide it would be best to protect Anna by keeping the two apart. 

Anna has no memory of the accident and does not understand why her sister avoids her, locked away in her room wearing her silk blue gloves. When the parents are lost at sea, Elsa continues to stay away, quietly keeping her secret hidden from her sister and the outside world.

Ten years have passed and it is time for Elsa to become Queen, but on coronation day her magic unintentionally brings an eternal winter to the kingdom. Accused of sorcery, she flees into the mountains to hide. Anna enlists the help of Kristoff the icemaker to help her find her sister and free Arendelle from the spell. This is a true story of love and acceptance that will thaw the coldest of hearts.

The show starts with young Elsa (Jillian Cerrato) and young Anna (Erin Risolo) playing and spending time with each other, quickly growing into pre-teen Elsa (Anabelle Koelmel) and Anna (Bailey DeLauter). While these four may play the littler versions of the main characters, they shine just as bright with their charisma and talent. Then, right before our eyes, we meet adult Elsa (Amanda Sidman) and Anna (Alexa Oliveto) who are true stars of the show.

For performers just starting off their careers, they are in for really great futures in whatever they choose to do. Both Sidman and Oliveto are able to hold their notes in a very music-heavy production while dancing in floor-length gowns with ease.

During the coronation, we meet Kristoff (Jacob Donlon), Anna’s love interest. Without giving too much away, he’s going to be your least favorite character, but one of your favorite performers on the stage. 

Other standout performances came from Derek Hough (Hans) and his trusty reindeer sidekick, Sven (Michael Krebo). One favorite moment from the viewing was the first time Krebo came out dressed as the friendly reindeer, which was used as a talking puppet head that looked like the character. Emily Weaver’s rendition of the lovable snowman, Olaf (who likes warm hugs), was fantastic, too, making the audience laugh constantly.

Other costumes, designed by Kelly Mucciolo and Tim Conway, look straight out of the movie. Not only is Anna’s signature green dress on point, but Elsa’s costume change during “Let It Go” into her famous blue shimmering dress made the audience gasp, cheer and clap.

The set is minimal, but is welcomed by animated projections on a screen towards the back of the stage depicting different locations in the Kingdom of Arendelle, including the inside and outside of the castle, the snowy mountains and Elsa’s ice castle. During certain songs, you might expect to see some snow fall from the ceiling of the theater.

And one last nice addition to the day out is your chance to meet Elsa and Anna in the lobby for a photo. Don’t miss this adorable, wintery event perfect for pre and post-holiday fun.

The Smithtown Center for the Performing Arts, 2 E. Main St., Smithtown presents Frozen Jr. through Jan. 21. All seats are $25. To order, visit www.smithtownpac.org.

 

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In an exclusive conversation, Town of Brookhaven Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich discusses the futures of Jefferson Plaza in Port Jeff Station and Cablevision townwide. Then, the Three Village Central School District keeps Regents exam scores in students’ grades. Plus, a light-hearted chat about a recent afternoon filled with talk of love.

Dive into this week’s news on The Pressroom Afterhour: Keeping it Local with TBR. Visit tbrnewsmedia.com to read these stories and more. Follow us on:

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Photo from Suffolk County District Attorney's office
Photo from Suffolk County District Attorney's office
Photo from Suffolk County District Attorney's office
Photo from Suffolk County District Attorney's office

Suffolk County District Attorney Raymond A. Tierney announced on Dec. 6 that Terence Wolffe, 41, of Mastic, was arrested for alleged felony criminal mischief and related charges for intentionally damaging parkland in the undeveloped wilderness of Walter S. Commerdinger Jr. County Park on Edgewood Avenue in Nesconset.

“The destruction of county parklands is an affront to our quality of life in Suffolk County,” said District Attorney Tierney. “We will never stand by and allow Suffolk’s beautiful and unique ecosystem to be compromised. I commend our county’s Park Rangers for their diligence in this case and look forward to further strengthening the working partnership between our offices.”

“The investigation by Rangers assigned to the Targeted Response Unit led to their apprehension and arrest of the defendant,” said Chief Park Ranger Steve Laton. “The Ranger’s actions coupled with D.A. Tierney’s tough stance on environmental crimes prevented further destruction of environmentally sensitive county parkland.” According to the investigation, over a prolonged period of time until his capture, Wolffe would travel to an off-trail area in the interior of the park to clear and excavate a personal “hang-out” spot in the woods.

Using machetes, axes, and shovels, Wolffe allegedly chopped down native trees, removed native vegetation, and dug up ground-brush, thatch, soil, dirt and earth from an area approximately 1,150 square feet in dimension. Wolffe would then pile the displaced brush, soil, and tree limbs upon adjacent park land (smothering other native vegetation). While some trees around the periphery were left standing, Wolffe had allegedly hacked and sectioned their roots, causing severe and fatal damage that, in turn, jeopardized those on trails from falling timber. The defendant allegedly dug so deep in certain spots that his actions redirected water flow from nearby wetlands into the cleared zone.

Preliminary environmental estimates place the replacement value of the felled trees and cleared plants at approximately $20,000. This number does not incorporate restoration of the parkland’s natural grade; nor does it incorporate the extensive labor and equipment costs for remediation.

Wolffe was arrested on December 5, 2023. On December 6, 2023, Wolffe was arraigned by Acting County Court Judge the Honorable James McDonough, for the crime of Criminal Mischief in the Second Degree, a Class D felony, and multiple related Environmental Conservation Law and Suffolk County Code violations. Under current New York State law, the offenses charged are not considered bail eligible, so the defendant was released on his own recognizance. Wolffe is due back in court on December 11, 2023.

This case is being prosecuted by Assistant District Attorney Jed L. Painter of the District Attorney’s Biological, Environmental, and Animal Safety Team (BEAST) with investigative assistance from the Suffolk County Parks Department.

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Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

We have friends who live close to us who are pregnant. Okay, that sounds weird, right? She’s pregnant, and he looks sheepish, like he’s not sure what’s coming.

That’s not entirely fair. He was socially awkward before he brought his small package of genetic material to the pregnancy party. Why would anyone imagine he would be any different in the months before he makes a head first dive down the rabbit hole into the wonders and challenges of parenthood?

Now, if their families are anything like others I’ve known, they are bound to have a wide range of pre and post delivery discussions.

“Are you going to name the baby after my side of the family?”

“Make sure you put sugar, spice and everything nice in the crib or the baby will become colicky like your Aunt Michelle. She was one of the most miserable babies we’ve ever seen and that’s because her mother forgot about the sugar and spice under the crib.”

One of the most fascinating and sometimes confounding parts of the baby discussion, which can extend well into the years that follow, is the family credit for various traits.

To wit, “He’s incredibly serious and focused just like his Uncle Oswald. That Oswald was a man with a purpose from the time he was born, just like your little baby Joey.”

Or maybe, “Morgan has the same broad smile, laugh or sense of humor as her Aunt Carol.”

Each family can dig in, sharing ways that the developing child has characteristics they are convinced come from one side of the family, often from the speaker who has a proprietary interest in propagating the enduring myth of a family heritage.

Such talk suggests somehow that heredity is much more important than environment. The credit can go beyond physical characteristics such as long eyelashes, rounded shoulders, or sparkling eyes: they can include artistic talent, an ability to relate to other people, or a proficiency for languages.

That somehow seems un-American. After all, we the people generally believe that hard work can help people become proficient in any area, developing the kind of talent that differentiates them in their field and allowing them to control their destiny.

Such strong genetic links, while providing an appealing way to connect to ancestors and to those who aren’t around to smile and play with their descendants, is akin, if you’ll pardon the pun, to linking someone’s last name to their profession.

“Oh, the Jones family? Sure, they all became teachers. The Berringtons went into the clothing business, while the Shimmers all became dentists. They all have such gifted dental hands.”

Such blanket statements about where someone’s exceptionalism originated also throws the other sides of the family into the shadows, as if their only role were to ensure the ongoing survival of the dominant and more important family tree.

Family trees, however, like the trees that people decorate around this time of year, have bilateral symmetry, with people decorating each side in popcorn, cranberries and/or holiday lights.

Rarely does anyone do a deep dive into the other side of a family, learning whether the Jones family had faster legs, a quicker wit, better grades or a stronger work ethic.

Then again, the point of these claims isn’t to be scientific, thorough or even fair. It’s a way to connect the children of today with those who came before. Even if people don’t believe in reincarnation, focus on genes, or contemplate the enduring qualities of any family culture, they might feel tremendous joy and comfort hoping that this person’s unwritten life includes future chapters that reflect a familial past that need not be exclusive to one branch, one side or one person.

Story weaving may help give a developing life context and meaning. Ideally, those attributes and connections may remind the family and this new person about the kind of strong and accomplished roots that can help him or her develop into the kind of person he or she chooses to be, which would be a win for everyone.

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Bridal Shower, Pixabay photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

This past weekend we traveled to Boston for a remarkable bridal shower. While I have been to many bridal showers before, this one was in honor of my first grandchild’s fiancee. Life is made up of firsts, of course, and we enjoy each of them in a special way. So up to Massachusetts we went for a new adventure.

I thought about my oldest grandson on the drive north. I still keenly remember the thrill of becoming a grandmother, of witnessing the beginning of the next generation. How lucky we grandparents are to reach that moment. I cherish a particular memory of having this adorable toddler running toward me as he entered the room, arms out for a hug, yelling “Grandma! Grandma!” on his arrival with his parents for a visit. Yes, I really was a grandma, I marveled then to myself, before scooping him up in my arms for a proper welcome. 

After all, it’s a rarefied club one can aspire to but one is powerless to join on one’s own.

And that little person, grown up now to a handsome man who gives bear hugs, is extending the family with a new chapter, and I was going to celebrate with his soon-to-be wife.

It’s a phenomenon, this marriage bit, when you think about it. Two people meet, they fall in love, decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together, and the next thing you know, a small army of strangers rush to hug you and welcome you to the family. That’s what happens at a bridal shower, even as the avowed purpose is to help the newly weds set up their home with small gifts. 

In addition, though, the two sides of the family get a chance to meet before the wedding, check each other out under joyful circumstances, then, no longer strangers, look forward to seeing each other at the nuptials. Maybe it’s not an accident that the shower is a women’s only affair. We have been known as the more critical of the sexes. If we have met and enjoyed the prospective extension of the family, the wedding will most likely go smoothly. Or so history might suggest.

Speaking of history, where did the idea of a bridal shower come from? 

Here are two stories. The first dates back to 16th century Holland, where gifts were given to the bride to prepare her for her new life as a married woman if either she was too poor to buy them herself or her father didn’t approve of the marriage and wouldn’t provide a dowry. One such instance involved a father who wanted his daughter to marry a wealthy pig farmer, but she insisted on marrying a miller, who was from a lower class. The girl’s friends then supplied gifts to help her start a home.

The second story is from the Victorian Era. Ladies in those days would gather to wish the bride well, bringing small gifts like notes and home goods. These would be put in an open parasol, and they would “shower” them over her.

Today the bride’s friends and female relatives gather to wish the new bride well and help prepare the home, and that is exactly what happened in the lovely club setting on the water that we attended. My grand daughter-in-law’s shower was organized by her friend since early childhood. The day was bright and sunny on the outside, and so was the mood inside. We met some of her friends, her immediate family, her aunts and cousins, and enjoyed a delicious brunch together. We traded stories of how some of the women had found their husbands, where they now lived, how many children they had, what sort of work they did, in short the usual conversations when strangers first meet. The hit of the day was the clever 1 1/2 year-old son of the hostess who roamed among us and tried to put his sneaker on my foot. Gifts were opened by the bride, pictures were taken, and then slowly we dispersed, promising to see each other at the wedding, now an extended family.

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