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Robinson’s Tea Room is tucked into the back corner of Stony Brook Village Center. Photo by Mallie Jane Kim

By Mallie Jane Kim

Robinson’s Tea Room provides the quintessential English experience of high tea, but for manager Dan Bussey of Sound Beach, it’s about far more than that. 

Tucked into a back corner of Stony Brook Village Center at 97 Main St., the cozy, floral tea shop provides a backdrop Bussey hopes will transport visitors out of their daily Long Island lives to better focus on the people around the table.

“Our hope is that it’s more than just about food and tea — it’s about connections you make with the people who you come with,” Bussey said. “We hope we can facilitate that by providing really good tea and really good food.”

Manager Dan Bussey greets customers at Robinson’s Tea Room in Stony Brook Village Center. Photo by Mallie Jane Kim

The tea room serves soups, salads and sandwiches, but of course the star is the classic three-tiered tea service, complete with fresh-made scones, finger sandwiches and sweet treats. The menu boasts more than 50 choices of tea to sip.

Michael and Donna Aliperti of Shoreham, Bussey’s parents-in-law, bought the tea room after it was shuttered in fall 2022, to the surprise and disappointment of its patrons at the time. 

The Alipertis, a mechanical engineer and registered nurse, respectively, were convinced to invest after their daughter Michaella suggested they save Robinson’s, a tea room the Alipertis enjoyed, and that Michaella and Bussey visited on trips to Long Island while they were dating.

Bussey, who was born in England but raised in Nairobi, Kenya, because his parents are missionary teachers, grew up drinking both the sweet, milky chai typical in Kenya as well as the customary British Earl Grey at home.

When he moved to the United States to study music at Houghton University in Upstate New York, Bussey brought the tradition with him. He remembered late college nights preparing tea with his brother and a few friends from different African countries. The group soon grew to about 10 friends from eight different cultures, he said, including Michaella, now his wife.

“The experience of having tea together has been a big thing in my life,” he said. “It’s a time to connect and do life together and enjoy something tasty.”

When the opportunity to run Robinson’s came up, Bussey had just settled on Long Island after finishing his master’s in vocal performance at Penn State — he had been commuting back and forth to see Michaella, who is an elementary music and chorus teacher in Central Islip. 

The gambit is paying off. The tea shop is often booked up on weekends and “healthily busy” most days, according to Bussey. And feedback has been positive. 

Customer Mia Gilardi, 6, sips tea at Robinson’s Tea Room. Photo by Jess Gilardi

Recent guest Jess Gilardi, of East Setauket, brought her daughters Anna, 10, and Mia, 6, for a “girls’ day out” and birthday celebration at the tea room. The girls were thrilled, and they said they loved the food. “It was very awesome and very cool,” Mia said. “I wish I could do it one hundred million times.”

Bussey acknowledged that, like any food service establishment, there have been kinks to work out, but he’s been eager to learn and grow. He spent several months training under the previous owner, Glenn Treacher, who reopened to show him the ropes before the official change of ownership in March 2023. 

Treacher, who Bussey considers a mentor, also helped him build the employees into a team which, Bussey said, is one of his favorite parts about his job. If the power of tea is bringing people together, the employees are another model of that. “We’ve tried to set up a culture where each person has the other’s back,” he said, like busing a table or bringing out food if another worker is swamped. “It’s really about helping each other out.”

He hopes to provide a nonjudgmental environment that makes something traditionally British accessible, whether people come dressed up for a high tea or pop in on a whim after a hike at Avalon Park. He doesn’t want guests to worry whether they are pouring the tea correctly or adding too much sugar. “I’m English — I love all the pomp and circumstance that we attribute to things, but I don’t want that to hold people back from getting the experience. Tea is something everyone can enjoy.”

Robinson’s Tea Room is open from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesdays through Sundays. 

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Grand Folk Railroad performs at Emma Clark library Friday, Aug. 4. Photo by G.T. Scarlatos
Grand Folk Railroad performs at Emma Clark library Friday, Aug. 4. Photo by G.T. Scarlatos

By Samantha Rutt

Blankets, lawn chairs and picnics dressed the front lawn of Emma S. Clark Memorial Library in Setauket on Friday evening, Aug. 4, as the Three Village community staple held a free concert, featuring Grand Folk Railroad, a 1960s-’70s inspired band. 

Despite gloomy skies, the event brought families, couples, pets and passersby together. Children danced as fans clapped and sang along. 

GFR’s lead guitarist, Frank Doris, enjoyed performing for the audience saying, “When you see someone singing along, it’s a great feeling for all of us.”

The library has been hosting summer concert events for over three decades, showcasing a variety of genres such as folk, blues, rock and jazz.

“Having community events like these are important for library patrons to see that we can create a fun and relaxing environment where the community can join together on a beautiful lawn in the summer,” said Carolyn Emerson, event organizer and reference librarian at Emma Clark Library.

Having been together for nearly 14 years, GFR has played at venues across Long Island’s North Shore, including the Port Jefferson Village Center and Stony Brook’s Long Island Music and Entertainment Hall of Fame. In 2010 the band released its first CD, “True North,” a collection of forgotten favorites.

“The event was great — great turnouts, and such an incredible building,” lead singer Susan Schwartz-Christian said. She was joined by her husband, Mike Christian, who performs as the band’s drummer. The fourth band member, Gary Shoenberger, played the keyboards.

On the cool summer evening, GFR played songs such as “Summer Breeze” by Seals & Crofts. The group also played songs by another local band, Alive ‘N Kickin’. 

People gathered from all over the Long Island for the free event. “I love the bands the library hosts, they always deliver,” said Gale Putt, an East Setauket resident. 

Throughout the show, Schwartz-Christian exchanged her guitar for a banjo and demonstrated her musicianship with a perfectly pitched flute solo.

Between songs and switching instruments, bandmates cracked jokes and offered cheerful conversation to the audience. As the concert came to a close, all band members showcased their vocals together, and drummer Christian traded his sticks for an electric guitar.

Emma Clark, standing as Suffolk County’s oldest public library, has been serving the Three Village community since 1892. Comprising over 200,000 books, periodicals, audio, video and software materials, the library’s collection continues to expand, finding new ways to serve the community. 

The library has recently undergone its latest construction project, including an outdoor terrace and a cafe, adding nearly 800 square feet to the historic building. 

“The summer evening concerts have brought together more than 200 community members [per concert] each year,” Emerson said, adding that she hopes to continue holding summer concerts in the future. 

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Photo from Google Maps

By Julianne Mosher

When Pentimento Restaurant in Stony Brook village closed nearly two years ago, the spot’s former manager, Elaine Micali, knew it wasn’t going to be the end for her.

A long-time resident of the Three Village community, Micali was a teacher-turned-tutor-turned-manager for the old Italian spot that closed in 2021. She said for 10 years, she moved up in the ranks, starting as a catering manager helping to schedule events and eventually becoming the location’s main manager.

But since Pentimento had closed, Micali and her husband Enzo decided it was time to create their own spot.

Micali said that over the last two years, she and her husband — and business partner — have looked locally and across the Island for a good location for their own restaurant they plan on calling Elaine’s Restaurant and Bar.

“At the end of the day, I wanted to stay in the Three Village community,” she said.

And that’s when they learned Tai Show North, located at 316 Main St. in East Setauket, was going to be closing its doors. Known for their hibachi and sushi dishes, Micali said that the still-open restaurant was put up for sale and they found it to be the perfect fit.

Without giving too much away, Micali said they will be renovating the whole restaurant, which currently sports an Asian aesthetic, to match the types of cuisine they plan on bringing in — regional Italian with a mix of American and Mediterranean delights.

“Both my husband and I are Italian and we spent a lot of time in Italy,” she said. “It’s going to be unique for this particular area and an open extension of our home.”

Micali said she signed the paperwork this month to take over Tai Show North, but it will still operate under its current management until the end of August. She will take over the premises Sept. 1 with an anticipated opening in early 2024. 

“It’s exciting,” Micali said. “I’m combining all my favorite things.”

And while since the news broke that the former Pentimento manager was opening her own place, she said they still have a lot of work ahead of them.

Some renovations Micali mentioned are a new bar, completely revamping the dining space, getting rid of the hibachi grills and creating a space for catered events like bridal showers and parties.

So for now, Micali said that those interested can follow Elaine’s Restaurant and Bar on Facebook and Instagram for more updates, also visit www.elaines-setauket.com.

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Students work together to build with Legos and blocks. Photo courtesy TVCSD
Above, students learn about tortoises and interact with one during the science discovery program. Photo from TVSD
Three Village School District students enjoy the summer with their friends. Photo from TVSD

Three Village Central School District Health, Physical Education, Recreation and Athletics Department offers several summer programs that keep students active and engaged while school is out of session. 

More than 800 students from across the district are involved in this year’s summer recreation programs between the half-day, full-day and travel camps.

Students in the summer recreation programs at W.S. Mount and Minnesauke elementary schools participate in a variety of indoor and outdoor activities each day including sports and outdoor games, art, science discovery, dance and computer time. 

Meanwhile, the travel camp takes Three Village students to area attractions that include beaches, water parks and amusement parks. Not only is each program filled with fun activities, but students are allowed to build relationships with their peers ahead of the upcoming school year.

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Museum organizers, standing outside the former Rocky Point train station, will soon put the stories of Long Island’s veterans on full display. From left, museum curator Rich Acritelli, VFW Post 6249 Cmdr. Joe Cognitore and museum committee member Frank Lombardi. Photos by Raymond Janis

The Rocky Point Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 6249 is embarking on an ambitious quest to showcase the stories of Long Island’s veterans.

Organizers will launch a veterans museum on Dec. 7 at the site of the former Rocky Point train station, situated just across the street from the post’s headquarters at the intersection of Broadway and King Road.

‘It’s about giving back to the community and making positive impacts within the community.’

— Frank Lombardi

Joe Cognitore, commander of Post 6249, said the planned museum represents an extension of the VFW’s programs and outreach initiatives.

The idea of erecting a veterans museum in Rocky Point has been decades in the making. Cognitore said the post unsuccessfully attempted to purchase a nearby drugstore before acquiring the former train station property through a community giveback from a neighboring developer.

The museum will serve to “educate the community, with an emphasis on young adults,” Cognitore said.

Rich Acritelli, a social studies teacher at Rocky Point High School and an adjunct professor of American history at Suffolk County Community College, has been performing the historical research and archival work for this project and will serve as museum curator upon its opening.

The post seeks to cast a wide net, Acritelli said, featuring the stories of veterans throughout the Island rather than narrowly tailoring the exhibits to the immediate locale.

“This is more of a broader” undertaking, he said. “It’s not just Rocky Point or Sound Beach. It can be East Hampton, Huntington, Wyandanch,” adding, “There aren’t too many places like this [museum]” on Long Island.

Inside the planned veterans museum in Rocky Point. From left, Frank Lombardi, Rich Acritelli and Joe Cognitore.

Acritelli said he plans to cover “every inch of this museum” with military equipment, historical relics, uniforms, collectibles, books and other memorabilia. Plans for rotating exhibits are also in the works.

Cognitore suggested that, within the broader national context, younger generations are gradually losing touch with American history. He said the post aims to regain that historical connection through this museum.

“We need to know that history,” he said.

Frank Lombardi, a member of the museum committee at Post 6249, envisions local veterans offering firsthand accounts of actual historical events, comparing and contrasting their recollections to popular fiction.

“If we showed a movie like ‘Platoon,’ you can show the movie, and then you can have some of the Vietnam veterans talk and say, ‘This is what it was really like, and these are the inaccuracies in the movie,’” he said.

For the museum’s organizers, each of whom has served in the U.S. Armed Forces, this endeavor represents the next iteration in their service.

Cognitore said the project is a necessary means for processing his wartime experiences and providing greater historical understanding to those who have not witnessed the brutality of war.

This bazooka will soon be on display along with military equipment, historical relics, uniforms, collectibles, books and other memorabilia.

“Working on this helps me free myself of all the things I did see or did do and kind of makes me happy to know that positive things are happening because of where I was and what I did,” the post commander said.

Acritelli said he regretted leaving the service because of the camaraderie shared among his compatriots. He said the museum and its collaboration has inspired similar feelings from his days in the military.

He maintains that Long Island’s vets are valuable primary sources in telling the local and national history.

“There are a lot of stories,” he said. “We want to make this into a large primary source.”

Lombardi remarked that he hoped the museum could inspire greater historical awareness and understanding of the realities of war while bringing community members together.

“It’s about giving back to the community and making positive impacts within the community,” Lombardi said. “We all grew up here locally on Long Island, and it’s important to recognize those who have come before you.”

Acritelli notes the active role that community members can play in preparing the museum for its launch date at the end of the year.

“We need people to donate things,” he said. “If they have basements and garages and old boxes full of stuff, they can give that to us or put it on loan,” adding, “We’ve got to build up some inventory.” 

Potential donors should contact Acritelli by email at [email protected].

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The Pediatric Infectious Diseases Group at Stony Brook Medicine’s new regional tick-borne disease center, located in the Hampton Bays Atrium. From left, Dr. Andrew Handel, Dr. Dalia Eid, Dr. Christy Beneri and Dr. Sharon Nachman. Photo from Stony Brook Medicine

Stony Brook University is planning to open the first and only dedicated tick clinic in the northeast on Monday.

Supported by doctors from Stony Brook Medicine’s Meeting House Lane Medical Practice and Stony Brook Children’s Hospital, the new regional tick-borne disease center, which is located in the Hampton Bays Atrium, will provide by-appointment treatment for children and adults for tick bites and diagnose tick-borne illnesses.

The timing could be especially important for people with tick bites, as the previous warm winter allowed more ticks and their eggs to survive.

“They are out there, happily laying eggs and the eggs will hatch,” said Dr. Sharon Nachman, chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital.

Brian Kelly of East End Tick and Mosquito Control donated the center’s suite which includes a reception area, two exam rooms, two private offices for consults and a nurse’s station, for 10 years.

“Between the beautiful weather in the winter and the nice weather in the summer, ticks are outside,” Nachman said. “I’m thrilled we’re doing it now. There’s no time like the present to move forward and work with the community to get this done.”

Tick checks

Health care providers urged parents, caregivers and anyone who spends quality time in nature to do regular tick checks.

Ticks can be so small that they look like a little freckle. These ticks can harbor diseases beyond the dreaded and oft-discussed Lyme Disease. Other diseases include babesiosis, ehrlichiosis and anaplasmosis.

In general, Nachman urged patients not to send ticks they pulled off themselves into the center.

“It’s the tick that they didn’t see that’s also putting them at risk,” she said. The clinic will determine the type of tests to run based on the symptoms.

For tick bites, as with many other health challenges, time is of the essence.

A tick that’s attached itself to a human for fewer than 48 hours likely won’t lead to an infection. Someone with a tick bite for about 48 hours might get a single dose of an antibiotic. People who had a tick bite for over that period might develop a rash or even facial palsy, in which one side of the face droops for an extended period of time.

Doctors work with patients to try to hone in on the date of a possible tick bite.

“We do pretty good guessing,” said Nachman. “We don’t need to be perfect: we need to be pretty close.”

Ticks are present throughout Suffolk County.

Health care workers urge people to spray their clothing with DEET. While ticks aren’t always easy to see, people can find them by feeling a new lump or bump on their skin.

Removing ticks

Nachman advised people to wipe an area with a tick down with alcohol before trying to remove an embedded insect.

Using a flat edged tweezer, the tick removers should grasp the insect and slowly back it out.

“Don’t grab the tick and yank,” Nachman cautioned. The mouth parts of the tick have an adhesive, which can leave some of the parts inside the infected person.

Nachman, who will be at the center on Mondays, also urged people not to use petroleum jelly or match sticks.

The hours at the center will adjust to the demand. In the winter, when ticks are less prevalent, the center may have more limited appointment times.

One of the advantages of the center is that the health care providers can track patients over time who have been infected.

Doctors can also sign patients up to become a part of a registry. By tracking people who have tick-borne infections, doctors might also address questions that are part of the science of diseases like Lyme.

“There may be better treatments or better tests” down the road, Nachman added.

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The animals will stay at the farm – for now

File photo by Nancy Trump

Grazing animals on the Sherwood-Jayne historic farm in East Setauket will keep their home — for now.

After area residents protested plans to rehome the elderly pony and four sheep, mourning the slated loss of the bucolic, historical scene on Old Post Road, Preservation Long Island is pausing the process pending consultation with local stakeholders. 

PLI, a nonprofit that preserves historic buildings and uses them to inform and engage the public, owns the Sherwood-Jayne property and had decided the animals were not central to their mission, especially since they also brought possible increased liability. The society’s executive director, Alexandra Wolfe, was hoping to find appropriate new homes for the animals this summer. 

After news of the plans spread, frequent farm visitor Kaleigh Wilson of Rocky Point started an online petition. Wilson, who used to work at neighboring Benner’s Farm, has been visiting Sherwood-Jayne Farm as long as she can remember and knows the property’s caretaker Susanna Gatz well. 

“We didn’t really know what to do about it or how to push back,” Wilson said. So she tried the petition. “I was hoping to create the space for community members to speak up.”

She created the Change.org petition on a Friday night and sent it out by text to people she knew cared about the farm, she said, and by Saturday morning there were already 500 signatures. By press time, the petition had nearly 2,400 supporters.

Wilson said she hopes PLI will ultimately decide to change course, as she doesn’t understand how removing the animals and Gatz could enhance the preservation of the space. “Susanna’s living this legacy in this space that it was meant to be lived,” the petitioner said, pointing out that Gatz, who cares for the animals and the property, processes raw wool from the sheep into fabric — according to the virtual tour of Sherwood-Jayne available on PLI’s website, Howard Sherwood also used wool from the property’s sheep to have blankets made. “It’s not just the animals — it’s her practicing a slower way of life that’s so important that we keep alive.”

Gatz had previously been asked to move by early fall, but Wolfe at PLI said they haven’t made any decisions regarding the property’s custodian just yet.

Brookhaven Town Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich (D-Stony Brook) also stepped in, speaking directly with Wolfe to encourage PLI to seek out a local advisory board. [See op-ed.]

Kornreich is grateful PLI has decided to hit pause. “I think it shows responsive stewardship that they are listening and responding to community concern,” he said.

The intensity of response surprised PLI, which is involved in some local history-related events, like Culper Spy Day with the Three Village Historical Society, and which has had partnerships with The Long Island Museum in Stony Brook and Gallery North in East Setauket. Wolfe at PLI said the organization hopes to consult its local partners before deciding how to move forward.

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File photo from the Town of Brookhaven website
By Jonathan Kornreich 

Over the years, residents of Long Island have unfortunately become accustomed to the sight of our farms, meadows and forests being paved over and replaced by housing developments with ironic names that refer back to what was lost.

On the other hand, we are fortunate to have numerous historical societies, land trusts and other civic organizations, as well as public ownership of historically and environmentally significant parcels, serving as a counterbalance in the struggle to protect our way of life and to preserve the special places that make our community such a desirable place to live. These local organizations are part of the fabric of our community. Their board members, directors, staff and volunteers are our friends and neighbors — local residents who understand our past and are invested in our future.

The Sherwood-Jayne Farm on Old Post Road in East Setauket is a jewel of the community. Built around 1730, the site was an operational farm for more than 150 years. For many residents, a drive down Old Post Road meant a view of the bucolic farm setting which includes historic structures, fields, meadows, pasture and of course, a peaceful flock of sheep and an old pony named Snowball. Even if it was only a momentary glimpse of the animals in passing, generations of residents have been reminded that elements of our agrarian past still survive, and not just in names like Sheep Pasture Road or Sherwood-Jayne Farm.

Sherwood-Jayne is owned by an organization called Preservation Long Island. It owns four historic properties: two in Huntington, one in Sag Harbor and the one in East Setauket. According to their website, their mission is to “celebrate and preserve Long Island’s diverse cultural and architectural heritage through advocacy, education and stewardship of historic sites and collections.” This is a vital function, and one which is best done in partnership and consultation with the local community.

Recently, the community became aware of a proposal by PLI to discontinue the residency of the animals at Sherwood-Jayne. Coming from an organization dedicated to the preservation of our cultural heritage, this proposal was difficult for many people to accept, and the negative public reaction has been understandable.

After consulting with a number of highly involved residents about the matter, we agreed that PLI should consider recruiting an advisory board of local residents to help explore ways to build bridges between their organization and our community. This would go a long way to addressing the perception that PLI is not really a local organization, and dispel some of the mystery about their intentions, which I believe are good and worth supporting. 

In a frank conversation with PLI’s executive director, Alexandra Wolfe, I communicated these concerns and feedback on behalf of the community. She indicated that PLI would put a pause on any action related to the animals while they reevaluate their plans and work on developing a sustainable course of action that prioritizes the well-being of the animals while being sensitive to the cultural context of the property.

I am grateful to Preservation Long Island for their responsiveness to the concerns of our residents. More than that, I am thankful to them for their excellent stewardship of our cultural heritage. I look forward to seeing them expand their presence in our community and continue building strong working relationships with our existing organizations.

 

Jonathan Kornreich (D-Stony Brook) is Town of Brookhaven councilmember for District 1.  

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A scene from 'Oppenheimer'

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

My wife and I are wildly out of practice at an activity we used to do on dates.

Hey, I’m talking about going to movies. What did you think I meant? Never mind.

Anyway, after three and a half years, we finally ventured out to see a movie. No streaming at home, not taking a long walk through the neighborhood to see all the usual other walkers, and no hanging out in the backyard to look up at stars whose light was sent to us years ago.

I don’t think the light we can see was sent to us when dinosaurs were roaming the Earth.

We had purchased tickets online, with the customary and annoying convenience fee surcharge for something that couldn’t possibly be easier for the movie theater, and were excited to see a movie on the big screen.

Previews have always appealed to us, as has the satisfaction of seeing the entire movie from the start. When both of us were young, we found ourselves in movie theaters after the film began.

We’d sit in our seats and wait for the next showing, when we’d catch up to the point when we entered and, often with our respective families, head to the exits to piece together the narrative.

On a recent Sunday night, we drove through a packed parking lot. Clearly, the Barbenheimer phenomenon – the combination of hits “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” – has brought the crowds back to the theaters that somehow survived the pandemic.

With almost no line, we breezed through the entrance and got on the short line for popcorn. Ah, movie popcorn. Yes, it’s much more expensive than it needs to be, and yet, we splurged for it many times as we prepared to suspend disbelief and enter the altered and captivating reality of a movie.

The concession didn’t sell bottled water, which we could fill with any beverage of our choice. We reluctantly agreed to buy the expensive cup and added ice cold water to our movie-time meal.

The days of waiting in line for the free-for-all of finding the best middle seats are long gone. We walked up to our wide, comfortable seats. When we didn’t immediately find the recliner button, the woman to my wife’s right showed us where it was.

Back in the early days of our children’s lives, when we were incredibly sleep deprived, those seats would have been a welcome opportunity for a solid nap.

Not this time. We were locked in and ready for the film. As is our wont, we quickly finished the first bucket of popcorn before the previews. I raced back for a refill and returned just in time for the start of several coming attractions.

Most of those previews looked somewhere between awful and horrific. If those were the best scenes from coming films, it may be a while before we feel the urge to return to the world of overpriced popcorn and comfortable chairs.

So, after all this time, are you wondering what we saw?

Well, we got sucked into the Barbenheimer vortex, opting for the World War II film instead of the late 50’s iconic toy.

With gripping subject matter and extraordinary acting from a cast ready to personify critically important figures from a turbulent time in 20th century history, the movie was compelling.

I can see why it received rave reviews. As a film watcher – okay, well, as a former passionate devotee of the silver screen – I wasn’t completely moved by the broad story telling.

As a science writer, which is the other hat I wear with privilege regularly for these papers, I was hoping there had been a greater description about the discoveries Oppenheimer and his collaborators had to make to complete the Manhattan Project.

At one point during the movie, I realized that we were watching the film on the 78th anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima. The eery overlap brought home the complicated legacy of a talented scientist and effective leader.

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METRO photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

My oldest grandson is now engaged to be married. At twenty-eight, his timing is altogether appropriate, but it is a wonder to me. The idea of having a grandchild tying the knot, when I am only 35. All right, 45. Um, 55? Oh, never mind. You get the point.

Further, I am intrigued by how the couple is going about the process, especially in contrast with how my husband and I wed. I’ll explain.

Not long after the initial phone call from my grandson telling me the exciting news of their engagement, I was told that the wedding was planned for two years hence. That was, of course, fine, but I couldn’t help but marvel compared to what my husband and I did. 

We informed my astonished parents that we wished to marry in six weeks. My husband-to-be was moving to a new apartment at that time, and we thought it would be romantic to start our lives together then. In those days, couples decidedly did not live together until after they married.

My grandson did the traditional thing, getting down on one knee. The scene, though, was anything but traditional. He managed to position himself onto the floor of the Tomorrowland People Mover car as they went through a tunnel at Disney World, one of their favorite rides, and popped the question.  Her parents were in the car behind them, and as she witnessed what was happening, her mother enthusiastically screamed with delight.

My husband told me he loved me and asked me over the phone to marry him. I never did get an engagement ring. It should be explained that he was at school in Chicago at the time, and I was in Boston. 

We had a wedding in New York City, where I grew up, with all the trimmings, including bridesmaids, groomsmen, a full ceremony, music, hors d’oeuvres, dinner, dancing and 175 guests. I wasn’t even there for the planning. I was working in Boston right up to the weekend before the event. My mother managed it all. And after the wedding, she practically collapsed for a month.

I did come back for a wedding dress fitting. It was all done efficiently. My mom and I went to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, where there were multiple shops that took care of such needs, and climbed the brownstone stairs to the one recommended, I don’t remember which one. I picked out the material, style and trimmings I wanted, measurements were taken, and presto! The day before the wedding, it was ready, fit perfectly, and I wore it, long train and all, the next day.

My granddaughter-to-be, on the other hand, had the great pleasure of trying on many and ultimately picking out her dress with the company and input from her mother and the groom’s mother. Photos were sent, via cell phones, to others tuned in. It must have been a leisurely outing that provided a joyful lifetime memory for all.

There is to be a bridal shower brunch to honor the bride-to-be back in the place she grew up, with her many friends and loved ones in attendance. That, of course, wasn’t an option for us, given our tight schedule. I don’t think it even occurred to me, more is the pity, because such events are part and parcel of the delicious anticipation for my grandchildren.

Her friends put out a request for favorite recipes to be sent, with the plan of providing the couple a Friends and Loved Ones cookbook. What a clever idea. I only knew how to cook breaded veal cutlet, mashed potatoes and canned peas, which I practiced on my roommate each night for three weeks before the wedding. And we weren’t registered anywhere for gifts. We just opened the envelopes and counted the money immediately following the wedding that night on our flight to Chicago.

There will undoubtedly be a bachelor party. In fact, my grandson just returned from one for a dear friend that involved a three-day cruise to Mexico. Yes, Virginia, times have changed. And why not?

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