Times of Middle Country

An inside look at the PJ Lobster House. Photo by Julianne Mosher

What turned out to be a stressful summer has ended up working out.

James Luciano spent half his life working at the PJ Lobster House in Port Jefferson. Originally located on the corner of Main Street and North Country Road in Upper Port, the business was forced to move into the former Ocean 88 space at 134 Main St. 

Luciano started working at the original location in March 2000. A friend at the time asked him to help in the kitchen. 

“I was in high school at the time,” he said. “I started working in a kitchen, and then I just slowly worked my way up.” 

At only 18, during his first year of college, Luciano began managing the restaurant. He said that at the time the Lobster House’s original owners — a lobsterman and his wife — didn’t have anyone who could do the day-to-day chores. That’s when he stepped up and the rest is history.

“I kind of took over at that point, and then slowly evolved it from being a fast-food fish market into a full-scale restaurant. I oversaw the whole operation,” he said. 

While being a student by day, he helped change the shape of the spot. He separated the fish market and the dining room into what its layout has been known for since. He got real plates, china and alcohol — not just beer and wine. He helped expand the menu from two pages to 10.

When Luciano finished school, he decided it was time to either move on or take full charge. That’s when he officially purchased the restaurant.

“The original landlord actually gave me the loan to buy the Lobster House from the previous owner because he wanted a long-term tenant,” he said. “He gave me a 14-year lease and the loan to buy them out. Then we just expanded over the time.”

According to Luciano, that lease was up last July. For more than a year before that, he started sending the landlord letters and making phone calls to find out what the next steps were in the terms of their agreement. 

Luciano said the landlord was short, and then eventually stopped answering his inquiries altogether. 

“I was getting kind of nervous,” he said. “What’s going to happen? What are we going to do?”

He said he met with developers from The Gitto Group. Then he found out that they were in talks to buy the property, where his location sat, for a new planned apartment complex. The group already owns The Hills at Port Jefferson Village, across from Port Jefferson train station, and The Barnum House at the corner of Barnum Avenue and Main Street. The group is also in the middle of creating The Brookport, an apartment complex going up where the old Cappy’s Carpets building once stood.

With the cost of the property being too much for Luciano to buy back on such short notice, he and his team began scrambling to find a new home for the Lobster House. As a member of the Port Jefferson Business Improvement District, he was able to talk to the owner of the mall on Main Street who gave the idea to move into the former hibachi space in the back. 

“We talked some numbers, we made a deal and it worked out very beneficial,” Luciano said. “And then we got hit with a pandemic, so then we were like, ‘Well now, what?’”

The cost to move was expensive and with capacity limits, indoor dining restrictions and PPP loan confusions, the COVID-19 crisis made the situation harder. 

“It was a rollercoaster ride, for sure,” he said.

But as usual, Luciano made the best of the situation. He began the buildout of the new location throughout the summer with a skeleton staff due to COVID restrictions. 

“That being said, I’ve been going 24/7 since the pandemic,” he said. “My last day off was March 23 last year, other than Christmas.”

With the help of the village, local fire department and the Town of Brookhaven, the new PJ Lobster House was able to open the first week of December 2020. 

“As soon as we unlocked the door, we’ve been busy ever since,” Luciano said. 

The move allowed the restaurant to have lunch specials and more dining space. He brought in a sushi chef and a big bar for quick bites and a drink. 

Luciano said that at first he was angry, stressed and betrayed. But six months later, it’s all water under the bridge. 

James Luciano. Photo by Julianne Mosher

“You know, like the old saying goes, you make lemonade out of lemons,” he said. “That’s pretty much what we did here, and I think having to be pushed to move was really beneficial because we really evolved into this animal.”

And while business is better than ever, new struggles ensued in light of the pandemic. Hiring a kitchen staff has become near to impossible and the state Liquor Authority often made threatening visits to Luciano’s business. Parking has been “a nightmare,” and even swayed him to purchase a parking kiosk from the village where older clientele can pay for parking without using the QR reader meters in the back lot. 

“We get a huge amount of people that complain on a daily basis about the parking and how to pay for the parking,” he said. 

The new kiosk, which personally costed him $2,500 to obtain, now helps visitors pay with a card rather than their phone.

But he continues to power through.

“Overall, I’m extremely happy with the location,” he said. “The clientele is much different, the relationships we’re developing with the people now is much different than what we had uptown.”

The fish market has now gained regular customers, who have started bringing their friends. 

“We’ve developed that hometown restaurant the village was kind of lacking where everybody’s going to,” he said. 

While Luciano spent his entire career, from teenage busboy to owner, in Port Jefferson, the Coram native and resident said he’d eventually want to settle down here, full time.

“I told the Gittos that I’m waiting for my penthouse on the top from the building that you took from me,” he joked. 

File photo

In the wake of the June 17 stabbing of 39-year-old Benjamin Flores-Mendez, who was found dead in Port Jefferson Station on the Greenway Trail, new precautions are being taken to help make residents feel safer when exercising alone.

To make the Greenway Trail safer, Legislator Kara Hahn (D-Setauket) requested cameras on the trail, bike patrols during the day and sector car patrols at night. As a result of Hahn’s push for better safety, cameras and new patrols are already in place

“As a Suffolk County resident, parent and legislator, public safety is always top of mind, and if I’m sent to Congress, that will continue,” Hahn said. “I’m proud of my work to keep our communities safe, like investing in security cameras and additional patrols in crime-prone areas and would welcome any new opportunities to expand on those efforts.”

As part of a women’s running group herself, Hahn advocates running with a partner and recommends using trails during daylight hours. 

According to Herb Mones, chair of the Three Village Civic Association land use committee, the Greenway Trail is the most used recreational area in the community.

Although this is the first reported incident of this type, Mones was still disheartened to learn the news. 

“Being part of the trail’s initial planning, and still active in its stewardship, I was shocked to see violence occur on the trail,” Mones said. “This corridor is a place for people to enjoy, and it is sad to see a loss of life on this path.”

Suffolk County police have stepped up their patrols on the trail and, with Hahn’s support, the implementation of security cameras will help deter any suspicious activity. 

“It is important for trail users to report any suspicious behavior, and refrain from being out on the trail at nighttime when there is less likelihood to observe your surroundings,” Hahn said, adding that it is illegal to be on the trail between dusk and dawn. 

The Pendergast family admires the new sign. Photo by Julianne Mosher

The corner of Grandview Boulevard and Lower Rocky Point Road in Miller Place will now have a sign saying Pendergast Path in honor of the street’s former resident and founder of ALS Ride For Life. 

Local officials, friends and family joined together on Monday, June 21, next to the street sign to remember Pendergast’s legacy and honor his efforts in the fight against amyotrophic lateral sclerosis — a degenerative neurological disease that ultimately leads to a loss of muscle control throughout the body, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Monday was Global ALS Awareness Day.

“What a beautiful day to have this event,” said Ray Manzoni, president of ALS Ride For Life. “We’ve got somebody up there keeping an eye on us.”

Chris Pendergast’s grandson had the honor of unveiling the new sign. Photo by Julianne Mosher

Pendergast died on Oct. 14, 2020, after a 28-year battle with the disease. His nonprofit has helped raise more than $10 million in research for ALS. 

During the annual Ride For Life, Pendergast was known to ride his motorized wheelchair hundreds of miles to raise funds and awareness of the disease. His longest ride was 350 miles in two weeks.

“He defied the odds in so many ways, his endurance was remarkable,” Manzoni said. “He was extraordinary.”

Pendergast, a former teacher in the Northport school district, was told he only would have a few years to live after his diagnosis. He beat the odds and spent over two decades educating people on the disease and devoting his life to helping others. 

His daughter, Melissa Scriven, told the crowd of people that the ALS Ride For Life board started in their house on Grandview Boulevard. Team meetings were held in the kitchen, and the dining room became an office. In 1991, the family moved to the street and two short years later he was diagnosed.

“Our lives were forever changed — dreams for this new house and our new life were shot,” she said. “But only briefly … his positive attitude and optimism shaped how we would handle this ALS diagnosis. We were a team and we’re going to live with this disease — and live we did.”

Scriven said her father adored this house. 

“It’s quite fitting that he lived on Grandview Boulevard,” she said. “My dad would for sure say that he was blessed with a grand view of the goodness of humanity, of the loyalty of friends, of the generosity of strangers and the grandest view of all, the love of his family.”

As part of a street renaming, the Town of Brookhaven requires an individual to have provided the town with an outstanding service. 

And that he did. 

Councilwoman Jane Bonner embraces Christine Pendergast. Photo by Julianne Mosher

Councilwoman Jane Bonner (R-Rocky Point) presented the Pendergast family with a proclamation from the town shortly before the curtain unveiled Pendergast Path. Bonner said she had a special connection to the day’s event. 

“My grandfather died from ALS in the early 1980s, long before anybody really knew what ALS was,” she said. “I have learned so much about ALS because of Chris, because of this organization and because of the people with ALS that really don’t ever let you forget that this disease should not be forgotten, that we need a tremendous amount of research dollars.”

She added there is a lot of time to make up due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

“People need to be as generous as possible because there are many more people suffering and so we must find a cure,” she said. “And I can think of no person that deserves this honor more than Chris.”

Pendergast’s wife, Christine, was honored to have her husband’s name across the green sign. 

“I think he would be grinning ear to ear,” she told TBR News Media. “He took his ALS bike to the streets, literally, and we now have a street named after him. I think it’s a very fitting way to honor him and his work.” 

File photo

Suffolk County Police Marine Bureau officers and two good Samaritans rescued a man who nearly drowned in Port Jefferson on Sunday, June 21.

 Alan Goldberg was attempting to anchor a boat on Whitehall Beach when he lost his footing and became unresponsive in the water at approximately 2:30 p.m. Two good Samaritans on the beach, Frances George and Karl George, performed CPR until Marine Bureau Officers Cory Kim and Shane Parker arrived on scene and transferred Goldberg onto Marine Delta.

The officers, with the assistance of Frances George and Karl George, continued CPR while transporting Goldberg, 70, of Coram, to the Port Jefferson Boat Ramp. He was transferred to a waiting ambulance and taken to St. Charles Hospital in Port Jefferson with serious injuries.

Frances George, 30, and Karl George, 65, both of East Setauket, were not injured.

On June 12, Suffolk County Legislator Bridget Fleming led a memorial event for public transit workers who lost their lives to COVID-19. Photo by Rita J. Egan

This past Saturday at a memorial honoring the Suffolk and Nassau transportation workers who lost their lives to COVID-19, speakers touched on the idea that our definition of what makes a worker essential has evolved over the past 15 months.

We have always recognized the heroic acts of people such as firefighters and police officers who save and protect us when we are in danger. We respect the work that health professionals and EMT workers and volunteers provide when we or loved ones are sick or injured. However, the pandemic brought to the forefront many we have overlooked previously in our everyday lives.

To think, for more than a year, truckers and grocery store employees have gone out every workday, taking the chance that they may be exposed to a virus that could hospitalize or even kill them or their loved ones, just to make sure we had food on our tables.

Then there were the home health care professionals, who continued to care for their patients inside their homes, despite the risks, and our utility workers who kept the lights on and the water flowing.

Journalists continued to be there to keep everybody abreast of what was going on in the world, whether about the virus, restrictions, politics and so much more, some even standing in the middle of protests.

And of course, the public transportation workers were there to make sure that those professionals and so many others who were unable to work from home were able to get to their offices and stores every day. When one doesn’t have a car, a train or bus can make the difference between getting a paycheck or not.

How many people in their everyday lives can remember on occasion rushing around and maybe not showing such workers the respect they deserve. Maybe it was being short tempered with a cashier because the line was long or an item was missing a price tag or driving too fast as workers were repairing a road thereby putting them in danger.

Adversity can bring with it many lessons, appreciating those who make our day a bit easier is one we hope all will remember as our country continues on the road to normalcy. It’s essential for everyone to have some sort of income to afford the necessities of life, but there are some whose work is essential in keeping us alive and healthy beyond the roles we once recognized.

We salute them all.

Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton hosted a virtual Elementary Science Fair awards ceremony on June 4. Suffolk County students from kindergarten through sixth grade who garnered first place and honorable mentions in the 2021 Elementary Science Fair Competition were honored. 

Volunteer judges considered a total 184 science projects by students in kindergarten through sixth grade. Seven students earned first place in their grade level for stand-out experiments Fifteen students received honorable mentions for their experiments. Students qualify for Brookhaven Lab’s competition by winning science fairs held by their schools.

Students who earned first place in their grade level received medals and ribbons, along with banners to hang at their school to recognize the achievement. Here are the winners and their projects:

Kindergartener Violet Radonis of Pines Elementary, Hauppauge Public Schools, “Which Mask You Ask? I Am on the Task.” 

First grader Ashleigh Bruno, Ocean Avenue Elementary, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “Rain, Rain Go Away” 

Second grader Celia Gaeta, Miller Avenue School, Shoreham-Wading River Central School District, “How the Moon Phases Affect Our Feelings”       

Third grader Emerson Gaeta, Fort Salonga Elementary, Kings Park Central School District, “Can You Hear Me Through My Mask?” 

Fourth grader Matthew Mercorella, Sunrise Drive Elementary, Sayville Public Schools, “Shh…I Can’t Hear” 

Fifth grader Grace Rozell, Ocean Avenue School, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “Edible Experiments” 

Sixth grader Patrick Terzella, Hauppauge Middle School, Hauppauge Public Schools, “Too Loud or Not Too Loud?”

View all science fair projects: https://flic.kr/p/2kZPtqY

Finding fun in the scientific process

This is the second year that the Office of Educational Programming (OEP) at Brookhaven Lab organized a virtual science fair to ensure that local students had the opportunity to participate safely amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Each year, the competition offers thousands of students a chance to gain experience — and have fun — applying the scientific method. The Brookhaven Lab event recognizes the achievement of the students in winning their school fair and acknowledges the best of these projects.

“The Brookhaven Lab Elementary School Science Fair encourages students to utilize the scientific method and answer a question that they have independently developed,” said Amanda Horn, a Brookhaven Lab educator who coordinated the virtual science fair. 

Students tackled a wide range of questions with their experiments, including exploring how the moon phases affect our feelings to testing different materials, investigating how to improve their at-home internet connection, and finding safe masks for their friends and families.

First grader Ashleigh Bruno, who garnered a top spot for an experiment on acid rain, evaluated the pH levels in local water sources to learn if animals could live safely within them. 

“I was really happy because I learned how to test the water and it was really fun to do with my family,” Bruno said.

Third grader Emerson Gaeta explored whether wearing a frame with different kinds of face masks could improve how we hear people who are speaking while wearing a mask. She used a foam head equipped with a speaker to measure how loud sounds came through the masks.

“I was here once before and I didn’t win,” Gaeta said. “Now I won first place so I’m really happy about that.”

Fourth grader Matthew Mercorella said he was excited to learn of his first-place win for his experiment seeking to find the best sound-proofing material. He found the best part of his project to be the process of testing materials by playing music through a speaker placed inside of them to see which put out the lowest and highest decibels.

“It encourages the students to think like a scientist and share their results with others,” said Horn. “Our goal is to provide students with an opportunity to show off their skills and share what they have learned.”

Honorable Mentions:

Kindergarten
Carmen Pirolo, Bellerose Avenue Elementary, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “Egg Shells and Toothpaste Experiment”
Filomena Saporita, Ocean Avenue Elementary, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “Rainbow Celery”

First Grade
Evelyn Van Winckel, Fort Salonga Elementary, Kings Park Central School District, “Is Your Mouth Cleaner Than A Dog’s?”
Taran Sathish Kumar, Bretton Woods Elementary, Hauppauge Public School District, “Scratch and Slide”

Second Grade
Luke Dinsman, Dickinson Avenue School, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “What Makes a Car Go Fast?”
Adam Dvorkin, Pulaski Road School, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “Salty Sourdough”
Lorenzo Favuzzi, Ivy League School, “Prime Time”

Third Grade
Ethan Behrens, Tangier Smith Elementary, William Floyd School District, “Deadliest Catch”
Anna Conrad, Dayton Avenue School, Eastport-South Manor Central School District, “Hello Paper Straws”

Fourth Grade
Michael Boyd, Cherry Avenue Elementary, Sayville Public Schools, “Utility Baby”
Michaela Bruno, Ocean Avenue Elementary, Northport-East Northport Union Free School District, “Weak Wi-Fi, Booster Benefit”

Fifth Grade
Hailey Conrad, Dayton Avenue School, Eastport-South Manor Central School District, “Breathing Plants”
Rebecca Bartha, Raynor Country Day School, “Natural Beauty Makes a Better Buffer”
Colin Pfeiffer, Tamarac Elementary, Sachem Central School District, “Turn Up the Heat”

Sixth Grade
Akhil Grandhi, Hauppauge Middle School, Hauppauge Public School District, “Which Fruit or Vegetable Oxidizes the Most in Varied Temperature?”

For more information, visit www.bnl.gov.

METRO photo

Father’s Day presents an opportunity for people to honor the special men in their lives. These include not only dads, but father figures and other influential men who offer care and guidance to the people they love. Many celebrations continue to look different than they were prior to the pandemic, and Father’s Day festivities may still require some modifications this year, even if celebrations are not governed by the same restrictions as in 2020. The following are some ways to show dads they are appreciated.

Backyard bash

Restrictions on outdoor gatherings have eased up considerably in many areas. Outdoor parties are some of the safer ways to bring people together, particularly if attendees maintain their distance. Weather permitting, families can host barbecues and enlist someone other than Dad to man the grill. Serve foods buffet-style and space out tables so people can safely celebrate.

Plan a sports outing

Professional sports teams are once again welcoming fans to stadiums and other venues, albeit with reduced capacities to maintain safety. It may be possible to purchase tickets to an upcoming game and surprise Dad or Grandpa with tickets on Father’s Day. Make Father’s Day festivities sports-centric, with coordinated decorations and themed foods to set the scene.

Plan a game day

Whether your father likes board games, video games or crossword puzzles, gear Father’s Day around fun and games. Let Dad lead the way and choose the activity, and then everyone can step away from their screens and come together at the table over jigsaw puzzles or trivia questions.

Host a beer tasting

If Dad is a beer lover, organize a trip to a local craft brewery to sample their offerings. If establishments are closed or still restricting indoor seating, pick up beers from a few different breweries and create a flight at home.

Set up an outdoor movie night

Perfect for a father who is a movie buff, borrow or purchase a projector and show a movie on an outdoor screen or against a blank outdoor wall. Select one of Dad’s favorite movies to watch and invite friends and family to join in on the fun. Make sure there are refreshments at the ready and plenty of hot popcorn. Celebrating Father’s Day this year may require some ingenuity, but there is still fun to be had.

Happy Father’s Day from Times Beacon Record News Media!

 

Newfield win the Suffolk III championship title in a 2-0 victory over West Islip Jun. 18. Bill Landon photo

Although the bats were cracking with runners on base, it was a defensive showcase by both Newfield and West Islip who went scoreless though 5–½ innings in the Suffolk County Conference III title game June 18.

Newfield pitcher Kendal Kendrick was dominant from mound where the senior went the distance but it was Josh Jacob’s bat that decided the game in the bottom of the sixth inning when the junior ripped a shot to left field driving in two runs for the 2-0 lead.

Kendrick disposed of the last three West Islip batters in the top of the seventh to advance to the Long Island Championship game.

 Photos by Bill Landon 

 

By Beverly C. Tyler

The end-of-year recital at the Amy Tyler School of Dance was as different for the students, parents and staff as the pandemic that caused the show to be moved outside at the rear of the studio on Reeves Road in Port Jefferson.

Tyler and her husband, John Worrell, decided to build a stage at the back of the studio property for rehearsals and the shows — and hope for the best weather.

The program, held this past weekend, was called “Broadway Rewind,” and featured the music of 11 of the Broadway shows that closed on March 12, 2020, due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The show was also dedicated to the eight high school seniors who are dancing for the last time with Tyler.

Last year’s “The Nutcracker” was canceled and the 2020 recital was staged only on Zoom, so Tyler very much wanted the students to have an in-person year-end recital. Worrell, who handled not only the building of the stage but the backdrop, said he was pleased and gratified with the help he received from a number of parents and community members who pitched in to supply materials and assist in the construction.

Tyler, with the help of Emma Gutmann, undertook painting the scenery, which featured the Broadway shows “Beetlejuice,” “Ain’t Too Proud,” “Wicked,” “Dear Evan Hansen,” “Tina,” “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child,” “Hamilton,” “Sing Street,” “Frozen,” “Six” and “Jagged Little Pill.”

“We were trying to figure out something that would play well on the stage,” said son Ryan Worrell, who wrote the script. “Something that addressed the pandemic in a way that wasn’t bearing down of the side of COVID, COVID, COVID. So, we decided that we would do all musicals that were open the day New York shut down. We addressed the issues of COVID-19 in the opening of the show, saying, ‘What if the pandemic didn’t happen?’ [It was] two hours of entertainment to pull you into the world where there was no pandemic.”

Comsewogue High School senior Sara Jaffie, who has been dancing at the Amy Tyler school for 14 years, said it was nice to have something normal again.

“To have this recital is really special,” she said. “Everything was canceled but school, including ‘The Nutcracker.’ I’ve been looking forward to my senior year since kindergarten — dancing on stage, doing my solo. It’s really special to have it.”

Abigail Nam, who is finishing ninth grade at Comsewogue, has been dancing with Tyler for 11 years.

“I really enjoy tap class now that I’m older and can do more skill stuff,” she said.

Her mom, Kathleen Gallant, was one of Tyler’s students starting at age 4 in 1988 for a few years.

“I wish I had stayed — I’m so glad they are able to dance this year,” she said.

When Zoom classes and limited in-person classes began this year, with all of the requirements for masks and social distancing in place, Jarek Furjanic, who has been dancing with Tyler for 11 years, said, “Now I have something to look forward to. I took more classes than normal. I like tap the best.”

He has also had speaking parts for the past four years. This year he and Marlo Pepe mimicked the opening of “That Beautiful Sound” from “Beetlejuice,” and then joined 16 company dancers in Tyler’s choreography of the song.

“It feels like family here,” said Michele Diodato, who is a speech pathologist at St. Charles Hospital. Diodato danced as a student with Tyler for 10 years until 2010. She returned as a teacher for the summer camp in 2017 and has been teaching jazz, tap and lyrical dance each school year since.

“This is my hobby, to teach what I love to kids,” she said.

Janine Ingrassia has been teaching with Tyler for 15 years.

“It’s so exciting to be back in the classroom, see them all bounce back … the resilience of the kids,” she said.

Ingrassia teaches mostly tap. She also teaches the beginning students — 3 and 4-year-olds. Before the pandemic they had just a pre-ballet demonstration for parents. This year they danced in the recital to “Let It Go” from the Broadway musical “Frozen.”

Ingrassia stood behind the audience where her six very young students could see her showing the choreography she had taught them. At the end, they received the loudest applause of the entire evening from the audience.

Each of Tyler’s teachers choreographed at least three of the 26 dances in the show with six solos and the finale choreographed by seniors.

Tyler’s daughter Cassidy, 14, has been dancing for 11 years and is very happy with this year’s changes.

“There’s lots more practice with the new stage,” she said. “Get to do a lot more skills — acrobatics, acting and interacting with more people.”

Jack Worrell, Tyler’s son, just completed his first year at SUNY Purchase studying studio production and did the sound engineering at the recital.

“Last year, with Zoom, the kids were not retaining as much of the information,” Ryan Worrell said. “In terms of health protocols, as soon as it was safe to bring them back, we did. A few kids were getting it all — most were only retaining what they had in previous years rather than experiencing any growth. When we had to announce that we weren’t going to do ‘The Nutcracker’ we had a lot who were very upset — their last ‘Nutcracker,’ or their first, or their first on pointe wasn’t going to happen. Last year with the recital on Zoom we didn’t see the kids give it the heart and soul we usually see with them in person. Once they get on stage it changes. There’s something that happens on stage that you don’t see in the [dance] classroom.”

The result this past Friday, Saturday and Sunday early evenings was two hours of delightful music and dance — and no one enjoyed it more than the students who were transported into a world where, for a brief moment, the pandemic of the past 15 months ceased to exist.

Beverly Tyler is Three Village Historical Society historian and author of books available from the Three Village Historical Society. He is also Amy Tyler’s father.

Photo from Pixabay

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Aliens are all the rage these days.

People are excited about the declassified documents that seem to suggest a technology that exceeds American understanding and know-how.

Of course, one possible explanation is that other people built them. With billions of intelligent humans scattered around the planet, it’s possible that we have fallen a few steps behind the most advanced surveillance technology of the world, making these sudden flying objects that disappear an enormous mystery, even as our fellow humans elsewhere are snickering.

While that only feeds into the advanced state of American paranoia, it doesn’t preclude the possibility that these technological mysteries are human-generated. Then again, maybe someone has built a time machine and is tooling around in a craft from future humans. If that’s the case, why didn’t our descendants do more to fix historical tragedies, global warming or other human errors?

Another tantalizing option exists: what if they are, indeed, alien? What if advanced creatures from another planet, galaxy, solar system, or celestial neighborhood, have come into our airspace to spy on us, learn our secrets and decide whether to stick their appendages out at us so we can meet them and become acquaintances or allies?

I was thinking about what I might say to an alien scout gathering information to decide whether to bring all manner of other creatures to our planet to share a drink, catch a baseball game, and argue the merits of communism versus capitalism.

I imagine a conversation might go something like this:

Alien: So, tell me about yourself?

Me: Well, uh, I’m human.

Alien: What does that mean?

Me: I guess it means I can talk to you and that, unlike other animals on this planet, I have imagined what this conversation might be like for much of my life.

Alien: How do you know other creatures didn’t imagine it?

Me: Maybe they did, but they seem kind of busy trying to avoid getting eaten.

Alien: That doesn’t mean they couldn’t imagine it.

Me: I suppose. So, where are you from?

Alien: Somewhere else.

Me: Wow, helpful. Can you tell me about yourself?

Alien: Yes, but I made a long trip and I’d like to hear about you, first. Do you mind?

Me: Now that you put it that way, I wouldn’t want to be considered intergalactically rude. So, what else can I tell you?

Alien: What’s the best and worst part of humanity?

Me: It’s hard to come up with one of each. Our ability to help each other is near the top of the list. Oh, as is our ability to imagine something, like traveling to the moon or Mars, and then making it happen. Music and art are also pretty amazing.

Alien: What about the worst?

Me: Destruction? Hatred? Violence? Excluding people? Preying on people’s weaknesses? Using our trauma to traumatize other people?

Alien: You sound complicated. Can we trust you?

Me: We don’t trust each other, so, going by that, I’d say, caveat emptor.

Alien: What does that mean?

Me: It means, “let the buyer beware.”

Alien: Hmm. So, who is this near your leg?

Me: That’s the family dog.

Alien barks at the dog. The dog barks back. The alien nods.

Alien: We’ve decided to go in a different direction.

Me: Wait, where are you taking my dog?

Alien: He’s not yours, and he’s chosen to join us.

Me: Can I come?

Alien laughs and flies off, buzzing close by a jet, the sound of the family pet laugh-barking in the skies.