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Port Times Record

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Stony Brook doctor, tending to a newborn baby. Courtesy Stonybrookchildrens.org

By Daniel Dunaief

Water inside a house isn’t just bad for the structure, it can also be damaging to your health.

Local health care professionals suggested that Stony Brook residents whose basements flooded from this weekend’s heavy rainfall should be careful about the growth of mold or mildew, which can be especially problematic for anyone with chronic breathing issues.

“People can inhale spores over a period of time and can develop respiratory symptoms,” said Dr. Sunil Dhuper, Chief Medical Officer at Port Jefferson’s St. Charles Hospital.

People with asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, bronchitis and emphysema “need to be particularly concerned about some of these issues,” he continued.

Dr. Sharon Nachman, Chief of Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital, suggested that residents of Stony Brook, who experienced a localized 10 inches of rain this weekend, should “aggressively clean” their basements, from any standing water, as mold and mildew can start growing within a few days.

“You won’t see it because it’s small,” but people should dry the walls and under the floorboards and carpet, she said. “You want to get the water out.”

Local doctors, also, recommended dumping standing water off any surface that might become a breeding ground for mosquitoes, who can carry the West Nile virus.

At this point, the County Department of Health believed the West Nile threat wasn’t likely particularly high.

“The heavy rains and wind might have washed away adult larvae and adult mosquitoes,” Dr. Scott R. Campbell, Laboratory Chief in the Arthropod-Borne Disease Laboratory at the Suffolk County Department of Health Services, explained in an email.

“Wet springs and hot, dry summers — in which mosquitoes and birds may congregate at limited sources of water — may be conducive to higher West Nile virus transmission.”

The heavy rain, which was triple the usual average for the entire month of August, according to Weather Spark, likely reduced area mosquitoes.

Local medical care professionals suggested that residents should still remove standing water as a way to protect themselves against any remaining mosquitoes.

Congenital viral infection

Apart from the impact of local flooding, doctors discussed a host of other medical issues.

New York State has been testing newborns, since last fall, for congenital cytomegalovirus, or CMV, which infected mothers can give to their unborn children.

The testing so far has shown that CMV is less prevalent than previous estimates.

The state started the one-year study of the virus to track children who might develop symptoms, such as hearing loss or learning challenges, later on.

“The earlier you identify babies with hearing deficits, the sooner you can act, and there will be fewer ramifications on their intellectual development, as a result of it,” said Dr. Andrew Handel, pediatric infectious diseases expert at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital, and a co-leader, along with Dr. Nachman, of one of the 11 units across the state.

Dr. Sharon Nachman. Courtesy Stony Brook Medicine Facebook page

Earlier medical sources estimated that the infection rate for newborns was about one in 200 babies. But, with about 300 newborns testing positive, the rate is closer to one in 325.

The percentage of symptomatic babies is tracking with previous expectations, at around 10 percent. Symptoms of congenital CMV at birth include hearing loss, jaundice, low birth weight, seizures and retinitis.

“Our numbers are matching up with the 90 percent” of those who have the virus, but are asymptomatic, Handel added.

“That’s why we feel screening is so important.”

For the asymptomatic newborns, about 10 percent will develop permanent hearing loss, which is why doctors are tracking them so closely.

The virus, which is a relative of the Epstein Barr virus, which causes mononucleosis, is spread through direct contact with body fluids, such as tears, saliva or urine. Over half of all adults have had a CMV infection, with some studies estimating the rate as high as 80 percent.

Adults can shed the virus for a few weeks after contracting it, while children can shed it for a few months.

While all newborns will receive CMV screening after birth, parents have five days to opt out of any link to a report of the presence of the virus in their children.

At this point, fewer than one percent of parents are opting out of the testing. Some of the parents aren’t interested in the test, others don’t believe it’s useful, while some believe their babies look fine, and don’t want the additional test.

Most parents appreciate the opportunity to gather information about their children’s health. Patients are “grateful the state has this program,” said Dr. Sunil Sood, Systems CMV specialist at Northwell Health.

At Stony Brook and other hospitals, doctors are monitoring those babies who test positive.

The County Department of Health supports the testing, as well.

“Routine screening of newborns for [congenital CMV] will help identify affected infants early on so they can receive appropriate follow-up and treatment,” Cynthia Friedman, Director of Public Health Suffolk County Department of Health Services, explained in an email.

“Infants who screen positive … should be followed closely by their pediatricians and referred to specialists as needed to ensure early detection of problems with hearing, vision or development so that appropriate care and support can be implemented.”

Once the funding for the testing runs out, which will be around October, hospitals around the state will no longer perform the test.

Parents can ask for a urine test, which doctors estimate could cost between $50 and $100, but which insurance, likely, won’t pay for — especially if the child is asymptomatic.

Legislators, including Assemblymember Linda Rosenthal (D-NYC) plan to introduce a bill in January that would fund tests, in future years.

“We would advocate that that become a permanent part of infant testing,” said Sood. “There are diseases that are far less common than CMV that have made it into the newborn testing programs.”

Immunization

Amid pushes by some pharmacies to encourage people to get flu shots, health care experts suggest waiting until closer to late September, or early October, for the inoculation.

“Vaccine efficacy is about three to four months,” said Nachman. “If you get it in August, when the flu season hits in January, you may not have much protection.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends similar timing, around September or October.

At the same time, Nachman expects a new batch of Covid vaccines will be available around September.

She recommends getting both shots at the same time, which increases both vaccines’ effectiveness.

Pharmaceutical giant, Pfizer, and BioNTech, recently reported that a single combined shot for Covid and flu was not effective against influenza B, which means that people interested in receiving vaccines this fall should plan to get two shots.

Covid numbers

As for Covid, the current strain has made the rounds this summer.

“Everybody and their neighbor had Covid,” said Nachman, who added that the virus has spread across all ages. Covid was “clearly more infectious than what we had in the spring” and people were sicker for longer.

While the number of infected people has decreased, the start of the fall semester could trigger an increase.

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Pink lights shine bright on Theatre Three's marquis at last year's event. Photo by Heidi Sutton

This past Monday’s storm decimated chunks of Suffolk’s North Shore. From Stony Brook, to Rocky Point, and so many towns in between, roads have collapsed, trees have fallen and homes have become boats in the street.

TBR offers our heartfelt sympathies to any person affected by this storm, in any way, and wishes to give you a beautiful example of the type of visceral human kindness that often pops up when tragedy strikes — but is never short of poignant.

Theatre Three, a beloved staple of the Port Jefferson community, was devastatingly hit by this storm that, seemingly, came out of nowhere. It was, bizarrely, not even connected to Hurricane Ernesto, which made its way along the coast.

Vivian Koutrakos, managing director of Theatre Three, said that throughout her 45-year tenure with the playhouse, she has witnessed it struck by 10 severe floods, with the worst having been in the past 10 years.

Due to this alarming trend, the basement, which has been frequently flooded, has “flood protocol” in place, like a raised washer and dryer, and items of that nature.

Well after Monday, that was all for nothing.

Chairs and tables literally floated away, and tools, machinery and cherished costumes from the playhouse’s production of “A Christmas Carol,” were drowned.

The situation looked bleak. When speaking to Koutrakos, she half-heartedly joked that she always says “she doesn’t have another flood in her.” But, with the unwavering support of empathetic neighbors, it certainly makes the load easier to bear.

In just 48 hours, locals teamed up and raised $20,000 and counting. Volunteers, actors and just concerned people, who’d heard of the theatre’s dire state, showed up with mops, and just started cleaning. And, one woman — in a display of utter compassion — who works in Queens and lives in Huntington, took the LIRR train to offer any help she could provide. Koutrakos had never seen her before.

So, while the tragic nature of this storm may leave you feeling down, disheartened and disappointed, remember the example of these local, good Samaritans, who decided to turn their heartache into a helping hand.

In the words of patriot Patrick Henry, “United we stand, divided we fall.” Remember, together we can overcome anything and everything. And the show must go on.

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James Burke and Andie Fortier at Port Jefferson Farmers Market this past spring. Photo courtesy Burke and Fortier

By Lynn Hallarman

Here’s why supporting Long Island food producers is more important than ever.

It is a Sunday morning in July, about 5 a.m., and the birds are quiet. Andie Fortier and James Burke are loading their truck with a bounty of vegetables they harvested the day before. The drive from their 3-acre farm in Amagansett to the Village of Port Jefferson is about an hour fifteen this time of day. The weather is iffy, but Andie knows the regulars will show up, making the trip worthwhile.

Packed up, Andie hops in the truck and heads to the market. James stays behind on the farm because there is too much work for both of them to spend a whole day selling.

By the time Andie arrives at Harborfront Park around 7:15 a.m., several vendors in vans are already lined up along the circular drive at the park’s entrance, taking turns unloading their goods. Some are busy setting up plywood tables on stacks of crates, hanging signs or filling buckets with water for flowers. Others are grabbing a quick cup of coffee, breakfast or helping another seller set up their tent. Andie’s mother and a friend are there, waiting on a designated grassy spot overlooking the harbor to help with the setup. Later, when the market starts, they will pitch in to serve customers while Andie keeps the stand piled with fresh fare from the July harvest.

Fortier and Burke feel lucky to have landed a spot at Port Jefferson Farmers Market in 2020. On the South Fork where they work their 3 acres, getting into a market can take years. For their small startup, Sand & Soil, now in its fifth year, competing with roadside farm stands and established growers with a large, loyal customer base can be challenging — sometimes even impossible.

Vital part of community life

Eighteen years ago, Port Jefferson Farmers Market was established by the Economic Development Council under former Mayor Margot Garant. Since then, it has become a vital part of the village’s community life, now featuring around 42 vendors. These include three vegetable farmers, flower farmers, a herb farmer, honey producers, a cheese maker, meat and fish vendors along with a host of local food artisans. To qualify as a vendor, all items must be grown, gathered or processed on Long Island.

Port Jefferson village tapped into a growing trend of using farmers markets to strengthen ties between residents, agricultural communities and local businesses. Nationally, the number of registered markets in the USDA Farmers Market Directory, has risen from 2,000 in 1994 to 8,600 today. Farmers markets are increasingly used as a strategy to create walkable community hubs for all ages, bring fresh produce into urban environments and draw people to local business centers.

Sand and Soil farm stand at Port Jefferson farmers market. Photo by Lynn Hallarman

New farmers

Sand & Soil’s success at the Port Jeff market highlights the promise of the Farms for the Future Program, launched by the Peconic Land Trust in 2009. This program provides affordable land leases and technical support to new farmers, with the goal of creating the next generation of Long Island farmers.

“Fortier and Burke started farming with 1 acre as part of our incubator program. They are our superstars on the South Fork,” said Dan Heston, director of agricultural programs at the trust and leader of Farms for the Future.

According to Heston, farmers markets are the best way for new farmers who can’t afford their own land to get their footing in the Island’s grower community. These markets allow them to build a loyal customer base, with people returning weekly to fill a bag with freshly harvested vegetables.

However, Heston explained that the quality of farmers markets can vary significantly.

“Some of them are a whole lot better than others,” he said.

Most importantly, he added, “Farmers markets have to have farmers.”

Connecting with the farming community

Fortier and Burke remain loyal to the Port Jeff market even though they also sell at Springs Market in East Hampton and the Montauk Farmers Market. For one thing, they grew up in Port Jefferson where the parents of both of them still live, keeping connected to the community. However, the main reason they stay is the atmosphere of the market.

“People out where we live are always questioning why we still bother to drive to Port Jeff, but this is our best market — we love the comradery with other vendors and the customers are enthusiastic. They want to learn about our organic farming technique,” Burke said.

Ask any regular why they come back to the market week after week, they usually mention the relationships they’ve built with specific vendors. 

“It is part of our Sunday routine,” Susan Raynock from Rocky Point said. “We go to church, get coffee and then walk around the market.” Sometimes, Raynock and her friends will have lunch in the village afterward.

Fortier and Burke are happy to answer questions from customers about their products. They want people to know that everything they see on the stand has been grown on their property and picked by them, usually the day before the market.

Melissa Dunstatter, the market’s longtime manager and herself a vendor, sees the farmers market as an incubator for local businesses. She points to several food entrepreneurs in the area that got their start in the Port Jefferson Farmers Market.

“Without the market … our businesses would struggle to be successful,” she said. “It brings people together every week, they look forward to it. And they’re eating better.”

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File photo by Raymond Janis

A haiku for your consideration

August

South Shore cousins want

tough soles negotiating

Pretty sound beaches

Joan Nickeson

Terryville

Thank you, Father Pizzarelli

It warmed my heart to read Father Francis Pizzarelli’s moving tribute honoring Father Gerald Fitzsimmons, who passed away in July [“Plain Talk: The loss of a bridge builder,” Aug. 8, Arts & Lifestyles, TBR News Media]. Father Fitz, as he was known, was our pastor at St. Mary Gate of Heaven R.C. Church and grade school in Ozone Park, Queens, during my childhood. He was known to be kind and understanding. Years later, he performed our wedding ceremony there in 1986 and, coincidentally, passed away on our anniversary.

I met Father Pizzarelli in junior high school when he was still “Brother Frank” at SMGH. My grade made our holy confirmation under his guidance where we forged unbreakable bonds between our classmates. We were challenged to “dare to be different” as we make our way through life, and we all took that very seriously. 

I’m happy to know that these two extraordinarily compassionate faith leaders were able to spend many years working and supporting each other. Their work has been a blessing to those in need and an inspiration to many more.

Father Fitz will be missed and I feel fortunate to have known him.

Joan Loscalzo Dickinson

Lake Grove

Setting the record straight: the real story behind West Meadow Beach cottages

I would like to address John Hover’s response to my letter to the editor regarding the West Meadow Beach cottages [“Gratitude not complaints,” Aug. 8, The Village Times Herald].

While Mr. Hover is entitled to his perspective, his characterization of the cottage community as one of privilege and exclusivity is not only inaccurate but also deeply unfair to the families who cherished this place for generations.

The cottages at West Meadow Beach were not the domain of the privileged or politically connected. They were a special place for ordinary families who built memories and passed down traditions. To dismiss their attachment as mere privilege is to overlook the genuine love and dedication these families had for West Meadow Beach, whose loss is profound and personal. What’s truly strange and sad is the lack of appreciation, compassion and sensibility toward the pain caused by an extreme and unnecessary legislative action led by political activists, contrary to the narrative used to justify their actions. More troubling is the fact that these people are still doing victory laps two decades later, without any appreciation for the history.

Originally private property, the land at West Meadow Beach was settled in the 17th century as part of the larger Setauket settlement, one of the earliest communities on Long Island. By the late 19th and early 20th centuries, West Meadow Beach had become a popular area for summer cottages, where families built seasonal homes and enjoyed the natural beauty of Long Island. Over time, the Town of Brookhaven began acquiring this land, and by the mid-20th century the cottages were on town-owned land leased to families under long-term agreements.

However, starting in the 1960s and 1970s, legal battles emerged over the ownership and use of the land, often framed as environmental concerns. While some pushed for expanded public beach access, which could have been a reasonable compromise, the political activists were not satisfied. They pursued the complete removal of the cottages, pushing for the land to be reclassified as public parkland, which paved the way for the destruction of the cottages. This reclassification was achieved in 1996, when the New York State Legislature passed legislation under the guise of environmental preservation.

However, the true intent of these activists was not to protect the environment but, in fact, to destroy the cottages. This represents a clear case of political lawfare and abuse of office as the actions taken were not for the public good but to satisfy their political agenda. This counters the narrative that the cottages were occupied by a well-connected elite when, in fact, it was the well-connected activists who orchestrated this outcome. Yet somehow, Mr. Hover suggests that those who lived in the cottages should be “quietly grateful” for the time until their land was seized.

The scarcity of these cottages should not be mistaken for exclusivity. Anyone who was interested was eligible to secure a cottage for a modest price. This was not a community of elites but of everyday people who found solace and joy in a simple, beautiful place.

It’s important to remember that the value of heritage and tradition cannot be easily quantified. The families who occupied these cottages did not view them merely as their property but as a legacy, a connection to the past that is increasingly rare in today’s transient, Airbnb-driven culture. The cottages, unlike the opulent mansions in neighboring Old Field, were humble homes that provided a retreat for everyday people. The families who occupied the cottages were stewards of this land, not exploiters of it. Contrary to the false narratives used to justify the actions taken, it’s about more than land — it’s about losing a place that held the stories of their lives. The loss was not because they felt entitled to it, but because a beloved piece of their history was taken from them.

The cottages were rare and precious, and the people who loved them were not motivated by privilege, but by a deep connection to the community and their family heritage.

Jen Schaedel

Stony Brook

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From left to right: County Legislator Robert Trotta, Suffolk County Executive Ed Romaine, TOB Supervisor Dan Panico, TOB Superintendent of Highways Daniel Losquadro, Representative from the Governor's, office Thalia Olaya, and in front, Gloria Rocchio, Ward Melville Heritage Organization President, at a Stony Brook Village press conference. Photo by Toni-Elena Gallo

By Toni-Elena Gallo with contributions by Lynn Hallarman and John Broven

Photo gallery to come.

According to the New York State Weather Risk Communication Center, Stony Brook recorded 9.4 inches of rain, in the 24 hours between Sunday, Aug. 18, and Monday, Aug. 19, amounting to a rainfall that is not just a once in a lifetime event —but a one-in-a-thousand year-event.

At a Monday press conference, County Executive Ed Romaine (R) spoke about the shock many Long Islanders experienced.

“This storm was not predicted for northern Suffolk,” he said. “This storm was over Connecticut and probably traveled south. When you get almost 10 inches of rain, that’s a once [in a lifetime event]. Unfortunately, these once-in-a-lifetime events seem to be coming more than that. I don’t think we’re going to have to wait another hundred years for another storm like this.”

“It tells you the impact that climate change is having on our weather,” the county executive added.

Stony Brook

In Stony Brook village, Harbor Road was split in half, and the pond at Avalon Nature Preserve ran off into nearby Stony Brook Harbor, taking dead fish and turtles with it.

“We have put drones up to document the before and after. We believe the damage will [amount to] $25 million, minimum. A minimum, between cleanup that’s required [not just here, but] other parts of the county, like Rocky Point,” Romaine said.

“We will document everything that we do, and all the expenditures that will be made, because we will be seeking some hope of state [and] federal reimbursement, because this is a huge hit on local government, on the town and on the villages along the North Shore,” he added.

At the press conference, Gloria Rocchio, president of The Ward Melville Heritage Organization, expressed her sadness and frustration, but was able to provide a small glint of hope.

“We did have a structural engineer come already, to check the [historic] Grist Mill … and it is, [fortunately] structurally sound. It was built in 1699. In 1750 the dam broke for the first time, and then once again in the 1800s, and the last time it broke was 1910,” she said.

Over at Stony Brook University, Judy Pittigher, an office administrator at the Renaissance School of Medicine, suffered an office full of water damage and a collapsed ceiling, forcing her to work from home for, at least, the remainder of the week.

“The squares of one doctor’s tile roof collapsed; the floor is disgusting, covered in mush. By the time I got there, half the rugs had already been pulled up … anything on them was destroyed, like boxes. One box had this past graduation’s programs, and someone picked it up and put it on my desk, and it was sopping wet,” she said.

Smithtown

In Smithtown, the Nissequogue River dam broke from the nearly 10 inches of rain. Two residents were saved by members of the Smithtown Fire Department, as they were trapped on the second floor of their home.

This is despite the town’s recent stormwater and drain infrastructure upgrades. However, Supervisor Ed Wehrheim (R) said that Smithtown was lucky, in comparison to the nearby villages, as a result of these proactive measures.

Rocky Point

Rocky Point was extensively impacted, as well.

“I tried to take a tour of most of the damage this morning … and several catchment basins overflowed,” Romaine said. “I went down Hagerman Landing Road, and the tops of all the cars in sight had mud. The mudslide that came down Hagerman Landing Road was, easily, 7 to 9 feet. It left its mark on the trees, and the houses, right up to the windows. We had to rescue someone down there from their rooftop.”

Port Jefferson

At about 3 a.m., Monday, a rush of stormwater cascaded down Main Street, past CVS, affecting local property and flooding the Port Jefferson fire station.

According to Fire Commissioner Thomas Meehan, the flooding rose to about 36 inches in the station, bringing sewage and other debris into the building.

“We were just recovering from the flooding we had three years ago,” he said.

Port Jefferson village officials assisted the fire station in the initial cleanup in the early hours of Monday morning.

Several businesses along the Main Street corridor were impacted, including Theatre Three [see editorial].

Huntington

According to a Town of Huntington press release, “The Highway Department took to the roads at the early onset of the storm. After surveying the town, they reported approximately 10 sink holes and minimal trees down. Flooding, however, was the predominant issue, with the town reporting heavy flooding in a few areas.”

All areas will be rebuilt

The Town of Brookhaven’s superintendent of highways, Dan Losquadro (R), explained how the topography of the North Shore created a disastrous alignment of storm conditions.

“Water picks up velocity, as it travels down into these natural drainage points,” he said. “Many of these areas were built a very long time ago. They just have catch basins, and do not have sumps recharge basins, as we call them. [Even so] recharge basins, optimally, can only store 8 inches of water, and a catch basin, no more than 2 to 3.”

“This exceeded even the capacity of a modern sump. So, we saw our systems completely overwhelmed by this volume of water in such a short period of time,” he elaborated.

As for what’s next, Losquadro said, “We will get into the engineering and estimating phase, throughout the day, and, probably, for days to come. We have, unfortunately, been through this process with FEMA, and the state before, even back to the recovery from [Hurricane] Sandy. We will do our best to secure funding, from the higher levels of government, to ease the burden on our local taxpayers because as the county executive and the supervisor [Dan Panico (R)] rightly pointed out, many of these projects are beyond our ability to fund on a local level.”

“This process will take a great deal of time,” Romaine said. “[This damage behind me] will require permitting, not only from D.C., but from the EPA, and from the Army Corps of Engineers as well.”

Both Losquadro and Romaine expressed that the parts of the county hit by this storm will be built back “stronger and better.”

“We will clean this up, whatever it takes. These are our communities, these are our friends, our neighbors. We’re one county, one people and we will work together,” Romaine said.

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St. Charles Hospital Emergency Department ribbon cutting on 8/19/24. Photo courtesy of St. Charles Hospital

Catholic Health’s St. Charles Hospital in Port Jefferson hosted a ceremonial ribbon cutting for its Emergency Department (ED) expansion on Aug. 14. The event was attended by Catholic Health executive leadership, hospital staff, as well as local elected officials and community partners. The newly renovated and expanded emergency department officially opened to patients on Aug. 19.

The $10 million project, was partially funded with a $4.2 million grant from the New York State Facility Transformation program, as well as other funds supported by Catholic Health and philanthropic support. The ED expansion includes an additional 4,000 square feet, doubling the size, with 10 more treatment bays and a larger waiting room.

“St. Charles’ ED expansion will provide an opportunity to better manage patient flow and address the disparate needs of patients seeking emergency care, allowing for the overall higher quality of patient care,” said St. Charles Hospital President James O’Connor. “We are very excited for this major facility improvement, allowing us to continue to meet the emergent medical needs of the communities we serve.”

In addition, the renovations include additional space, which will allow for better patient management of those seeking medically supervised chemical dependency withdrawal and stabilization and rehabilitation services.

“Long Island has a drug problem of epic proportions, but Catholic Health does not run from this challenge,” said Catholic Health President and CEO Patrick O’Shaughnessy, DO, MBA. “St. Charles’ expanded ED will include an additional care environment, offering specialized care for dependency patients. This will allow doctors and nurses to focus on the needs of distinct patient populations, safely and effectively.”

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Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Fear sells. It’s as true when companies are urging people to buy products to protect themselves, families, homes and cars as it is when politicians are trying to scare you  into voting for them or, just as importantly, voting against their opponent.

Sure, they make some effort to suggest that their policies will help you, but they spend considerably more time showing unnerving images of what might happen if you vote for the other team.

One side suggests that a vote for the other candidate could mean the end of democracy, elections and a host of freedoms, while the other suggests that a vote for the other side could mean an end to the world.

Whatever you believe, we have clearly reached an extreme of brinkmanship. 

On top of that, the news is filled with stories and images of murder and mayhem.

These days, all you need to do is turn on your phone and someone, somewhere, is struggling, threatened, or dying.

On top of that, people are sharing concerns about existential threats to the future, with global warming and declines in the food and water necessary to sustain the population.

Regardless of where people check in with the information of the day, threats lurk around every corner.

It’s no wonder that mental health has declined. The world is a place with dark shadows and horrifying possibilities.

Happily ever after has become the launching pad for fractured fairy tales, where couples can’t find affordable homes and, even if they did, couldn’t carry the mortgage.

This mental health strain and the difficulty of disconnecting from a phone that shares these bad news bulletins in constant alerts may be contributing to the record low fertility rate for the country reported this spring in the National Center for Health Statistics at the CDC. 

Specifically, the rates declined for women aged 20 to 39, hitting a record low for women between 20 and 24.

There are numerous other reasons people are foregoing the spectacularly rewarding and challenging decision to have children. Yes, men and women are pursuing careers.

And, yes, people may be more confident and comfortable having children later, putting off the life-altering decision until after a set of vacations, a work milestone or other goals.

But to know exactly why any one or group of people are making the decisions they do requires more than statistics or even surveys. When people answer questions in a survey, they sometimes offer the kinds of replies that look good or that the questioner expects.

I spoke anecdotally with a few 50’ish parents and some children around 30 and got a range of responses about the decision to have or not have children.

Both sides suggested that developing careers made it tougher to start a family. Parents, some of whom seemed eager to have grandchildren, expressed some frustration and, perhaps, judgement, about the decisions of their children and step-children.

Some of the younger crowd said their friends didn’t receive much parenting help from their partners, making the task of raising children more difficult and exhausting and dissuading them and their friends.

They also shared concerns about the high cost of raising children.

One of the younger set added that her mother had been dealing with a lifelong illness and that she had caretaking responsibilities from the time she was young. Her mother continues to need medical and family attention, which she said has made caring for a child less appealing.

One of the younger set asked me what I thought about being a parent. It has filled me with unbelievable joy, affection, love, and laughter and has helped me understand my own parents and grandparents better. Of course, we’ve had our share of challenges interspersed with stomach dropping moments.

Not to blame the media entirely, as I work and live inside that profession, but I feel like the nonstop stream of information, stories, videos, and social media shaming has left people feeling vulnerable and exhausted.

Parenting requires energy and optimism. When people lose sleep, they don’t have much energy and, if they look at their phones, they risk losing their hold on optimism. 

If we want to encourage this generation to continue the chain, we should let them know when they’re ready and when they ask, about the amazing and fulfilling moments, large and small, that make parenting the role of a lifetime.

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Pixabay photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

Maine is a beautiful state. It is also a long drive from my house, as we knew before we started the drive. We were heading to a wedding in the Camden area, and the nice thing about going by car was that we didn’t have to fit all the special clothes into a suitcase. We could just hang them up in the back seat, put a few basics into a small suitcase, and we were off.

This was to be a unique wedding in our experience: no ceremony. We were going to party all weekend with relatives and dear friends and a bride and groom that had married the week before.

Guests came from all over the United States to party. They came from the northwest states, the Rockies, the Midwest and the South to wish this modern couple well and witness a truly modern event.

It began with invitations via email. When you consider that traditional snail mail wedding invitations from save-the-date to breakfast the day after run a couple about to tie the knot an average of $530, this was a clever cost-saving move. It should be said, though, that this couple is not average.

For one, they are 36 years old, late to the party, which averages 29 for the groom and 27 for the bride nationally. So they have learned a thing or two about wedding costs.

Second, she is an event planner and was able to put her considerable experience helping other couples spend their money to saving for a leaner wedding, notwithstanding the guest list of some 140.

While we did not witness the solemn event during which they would pledge their everlasting love, we did hear remarks from the siblings, cousin, mother and father of the groom, mother and father of the bride in a kind of spontaneous fashion rather than according to ritualistic assignments. We didn’t know who was to speak next until they gave their prepared remarks.

The setting along the shore was both bucolic and rustic. Indoor activities, like dancing and hors d’œuvres, were in a barn-like structure that boasted chandeliers. The building was set on a long, grassy lawn that led to the beach, and guests enjoyed walking its length to the water and, since it was early evening, watching the sun set.

Dress, as you might have guessed, was Maine Cocktail. Many of the men wore trousers and sports jackets. Not many of the younger men wore suits. The women‘s attire was varied, from long dresses to cocktail length and pants, mostly adorned with flowered patterns and lots of summer colors.

The food was as varied as the dress. Appetizers included pastrami knishes, egg roll hot dogs and crab Rangoon. The Maine course included a buffet, offering brisket, mac and cheese, BBQ chicken, a vegetarian dish and copious salad —  all happy food.

As original as this wedding may sound, it is something of a trend today. Just as dating apps and zoom weddings have become accepted, so have text message and email invites joined the era of digital romance. It is all part of a post-pandemic culture shift toward more casual gatherings. Some folks like it better. As Vogue magazine wrote, “The non-wedding wedding with less traditional clothing, casual food and spontaneous photography are growing in popularity.” 

And of course, this movement is prompted by increasing wedding costs. This more relaxed type of wedding is more affordable than the traditional highly structured wedding of yore. And a lot of fun.

PS: I thank Jeff Crilley, who publishes digitally “The Rundown” for journalists, for sharing the above observations.

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Michelle Schindler receiving the proclamation, from Supervisor Dan Panico. Screenshot

By Katherine Kelton

At the Aug. 8 Brookhaven Town Board meeting, council members officially recognized Aug. 31 as International Overdose Awareness Day. They also dedicated the month of September as National Recovery Month. Councilmember Johnathon Kornreich (D-Stony Brook) spoke briefly about the Brookhaven Goes Purple initiative that began in the 1st Council District he represents.

He introduced the co-founder of the initiative, Michelle Schindler, who also delivered an address. She said, “Our aim is to unite the community to achieve a safe, healthy and drug-free environment.” She also works as a prevention director for YMCA family services, where evidence-based prevention is key.

Schindler claimed, “Research nationally and locally on Long Island demonstrates communities with active prevention coalitions experience a lower rate of substance use compared to those without such coalitions.”

She was presented with a proclamation by Supervisor Dan Panico (R) and the council members.

Town board business

Before the ceremony of dedication, many resolutions were passed. One such resolution involved the application of a Sephora in Port Jefferson Station on Route 112 replacing a former CVS. The popular makeup store will now be brought to the Port Plaza as the plans for application were passed.

In East Setauket, a proposed change of use application was passed for Setauket Law, located on South Jersey Avenue. The space was labeled as vacant, however, Setauket Law has been running from the office space. The firm also applied for a variance of parking, which was also passed.

A vacant space in the South Jersey Avenue office complex is looking for a new tenant as well. The available space, which used to be a day care, is looking for either a new day care proprietor or something the community needs.

The owner of the building, Shimon Ohana, revealed that a playground structure for the previous day care was removed before he came into ownership of the space, which was turned into about 65 parking spots.

Kornreich asked Ohana about the limited parking and how that could affect what type of business takes the vacant space.

Ohana stated that he has a few daycares, looking at the space, which would be ideal for parking: “The majority of people coming to the day care are children, so they obviously don’t drive. It would primarily be staff and parent drop-off.”

The next meeting is Aug. 21 at Town Hall, 1 Independence Hill in Farmingville, and will be a zoning board meeting.

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Enjoy traditional Hellenic dancing at this year's event. File photo by Giselle Barkley/TBR News Media

By Heidi Sutton

Traditional Greek food, music and dancing will take center stage as the Greek Orthodox Church of the Assumption in Port Jefferson hosts its 63rd annual Greek Festival on church grounds on Thursday, Aug. 22 from 5 to 10 p.m.,  Friday, Aug. 23 from 5 to 11 p.m., Saturday, Aug. 24 from 1 p.m. to 11 p.m. and Sunday, Aug. 25 from noon to 9 p.m. 

A celebration of Greek culture, the four-day event will feature a variety of vendors, fireworks, church tours, live Greek music and dancing, games of chance and carnival rides by Newton Shows. Pay-one-price bracelets for the rides may be purchased in advance at www.newtonshows.com.

Authentic mouth-watering foods such as gyros, tyropita (cheese pie), moussaka, souvlaki, and spanakopita (spinach pie) will be served up, along with sweet desserts such as galaktoboureko, koulourakia, baklava and hot loukoumades, a fried dough pastry favorite.

One of the main attractions at the festival is the over-the-top raffle that the church holds every year. This year 200 prizes will be awarded from cars — a 2024 Mercedes Benz GLB 250 SUV or $35,000 cash is first prize — to a laptop, X-box, espresso machine, outdoor fire pit, 32″ LG Smart TV, Coach bag, cash prizes and more. Tickets for the sweepstakes are $100 each and are limited to 3,999 tickets. The drawing will be held on Aug. 25 at 7 p.m.

Fireworks will be held on Friday and Saturday nights at 9:15 p.m., weather permitting. 

Free shuttle buses will pick up attendees from Ward Melville High School, 380 Old Town Road, East Setauket to transport them to festival on Friday, Saturday and Sunday only. Parking is also available at BASF Corporation across the street from the church at 361 Sheep Pasture Road ($20 fee) and at Head Start at 400 Sheep Pasture Road (free). Handicapped parking is available at the church at no charge. Admission to the festival is $2 per person; children under 12 can attend for free.

The Greek Orthodox Church of the Assumption is located at 430 Sheep Pasture Road in Port Jefferson. For more information, call the church office at 631-473-0894 or visit www.portjeffgreekfest.com.

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