Yearly Archives: 2024

Photo courtesy of Town of Smithtown
The Town of Smithtown has begun construction on the new Welcome Center at Paul T. Given Park, located across from the iconic bull monument. The transformative project, which was formerly the Oasis Gentlemen’s Club, aims to enhance Paul T. Given Park, creating a unique green space that will serve as an inviting gateway to Smithtown while promoting eco-tourism and community engagement.
“Creating a unique green space at the entryway to Smithtown has been a long-time vision of the Smithtown Administration. We acquired the property in a park swap with Suffolk County and after finally receiving the necessary approvals from the State DEC, we are thrilled to be beginning construction on the Welcome Center. This project will not only restore the historic charm of the area but also help to rebuild the local ecosystem… all while providing a serene refuge for residents and wildlife,” said Town of Smithtown Supervisor Ed Wehrheim.
The building renovations, upon completion, will feature a welcome center on the first floor, providing essential amenities for park visitors, including restrooms, bait shop, food concession, and an office for the local canoe/kayak rental business. The main floor will also feature educational nature exhibits for visitors of all ages, alongside a dedicated area to showcase local tourism. Here, organizations such as the Chamber of Commerce and other community groups can display marketing materials and informational pamphlets to highlight the rich cultural, historic and natural attractions, and special events available in the Township.
The second floor of the new facility will house a multipurpose meeting room, designed to accommodate classes, workshops, and conduct other town business. This versatile space will cater to the needs of the local community while fostering educational and civic engagement opportunities.
In addition to the Welcome Center, plans for Paul T. Given Park include a series of upgrades and eco-friendly initiatives aimed at enhancing both the visitor experience and the park’s natural environment.
Paul T. Given Park renovations to include:
  • Minor renovations and repairs to existing infrastructure.
  • Removal of invasive Japanese knotweed to support native biodiversity.
  • Installation of bioswales to mitigate stormwater runoff and protect the Nissequogue Headwaters.
  • New landscaping and street trees along Main Street (NY 25A) to beautify the area.
  • Development of new trails for hiking and wildlife education/awareness tours.
  • Improved fishing access.
  • Construction of a canoe launch, ADA-accessible pavilion with restrooms, and a raised deck/viewing platform for scenic enjoyment.
  • Creation of a picnic area, playground, and enhanced open spaces for community use.
  • Repairs to the historic steel bridge within the park.
The project has been made possible through a series of strategic decisions, including the purchase of the former Oasis Gentlemen’s Club property in May 2021. This acquisition was designed to expand Paul T. Given Park and protect environmentally sensitive areas along the Nissequogue River Headwaters. The Town Board approved a park swap with Suffolk County, authorizing special legislation to alienate Bill Richards Park in exchange for Paul T. Given Park.
Working closely with the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC), the Town of Smithtown is committed to realizing this vision of a natural sanctuary. Upon its culmination, the new Welcome Center and enhanced Paul T. Given Park will stand as a testament to Smithtown’s dedication to environmental stewardship, community well-being, and sustainable development.

METRO photo

By Michael Christodoulou

Now that the calendar has flipped, it’s time for some New Year’s resolutions. You could decide you’re going to exercise more, lose weight, learn a new skill, reconnect with old friends — the possibilities are almost limitless. This year, why not add a few financial resolutions to your list?

Here are a few to consider:

Reduce your debts. It may be easier said than done, but if you can cut down on your debt load, you’ll increase your cash flow and have more money available to invest for your future. So, look for ways to lower your expenses and spending. You might find it helpful to use one of the budgeting apps available online. 

Boost your retirement savings. Try to put in as much as you can afford to your IRA and your 401(k) or other employer-sponsored retirement plan. If your salary goes up this year, you’ve got a good opportunity to increase your contributions to these retirement accounts. And once you turn 50, you can make pre-tax catch-up contributions for your 401(k) and traditional IRA. You might also want to review the investment mix within your 401(k) or similar plan to determine whether it’s still providing the growth potential you need, given your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Build an emergency fund. It’s generally a good idea to maintain an emergency fund containing up to six months’ worth of living expenses, with the money kept in a liquid, low-risk account. Without such a fund, you might be forced to dip into your long-term investments to pay for short-term needs, such as an expensive auto or home repair. 

Keep funding your non-retirement goals. Your traditional IRA and 401(k) are good ways to save for retirement — but you likely have other goals, too, and you’ll need to save and invest for them. So, for example, if you want your children to go to college or receive some other type of post-secondary training, you might want to invest in a tax-advantaged 529 education savings plan. And if you have short-term goals, such as saving for a wedding or taking an overseas vacation, you might want to put some money    away in a liquid account. For a short-term goal, you don’t necessarily need to invest aggressively for growth — you just want the money to be there for you when you need it. 

Review your estate plans. If you haven’t already created your estate plans, you may want to do so in 2025. Of course, if you’re relatively young, you might not think you need to have estate plans in place just yet, but life is unpredictable, and the future is not ours to see. If you have already drawn up estate plans, you may want to review them, especially if you’ve recently experienced changes in your life and family situation, such as marriage, remarriage or the addition of a new child. Because estate planning can be complex, you’ll want to work with a qualified legal professional.

You may not be able to tackle all these resolutions in 2025. But by addressing as many of them as you can, you may find that, by the end of the year, you have made progress toward your goals and set yourself on a positive course for all the years to come.

Michael Christodoulou, ChFC®, AAMS®, CRPC®, CRPS® is a Financial Advisor for Edward Jones in Stony Brook, Member SIPC.

This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor.

Santa heads to the American Airpower Museum in Farmingdale on Dec. 14.

Start your holiday season with one of the following Pancake Breakfast with Santa Claus events on the North Shore!

Centereach

Centereach Fire Department Engine Co. 3, 9 South Washington Ave., Centereach presents The Original Pancake Breakfast with Santa & Friends on Sunday, Dec. 8 with seatings hourly from 8 a.m. to noon. Breakfast includes pancakes, sausage, coffee and orange juice. $10 per person. For reservations, call 631-588-0118.

East Northport

Union United Methodist Church, 1018 Pulaski Road, East Northport will host Magic Circle Nursery School’s 43rd annual Pancake Breakfast with Santa on Saturday, Dec. 7 from 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Enjoy a holiday treat filled with fun, food and a photo with Santa Claus. Tickets are $8 adults, $4 children. 631-754-5565

Farmingdale

The American Airpower Museum, 1230 New Highway, Farmingdale will host its Annual Holiday Pancake Breakfast Fundraiser on Saturday, Dec. 14 from 9 a.m. to noon. Join them in their historic Republic Aviation Hangar decorated for the holiday season for pancakes, sausage and hot beverages and juices followed by a meet and greet with Santa for photos and take a Flight line tram ride (weather permitting). Admission is $15 adults, $10 children. For reservations, call 631-293-6398.

Medford

Medford Fire Department, 171 Oregon Ave., Medford presents their annual Breakfast with Santa on Sunday, Dec. 8 from 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Tickets are $15 adults, $10 children, children age 2 and under are free. To RSVP, call 631-481-6184.

Mount Sinai

The North Shore Youth Council carries on the tradition of Breakfast with Santa at the Heritage Center, 633 Mount Sinai-Coram Road, Mt. Sinai on Sunday, Dec. 15 with seatings at 8 a.m., 10 a.m. and noon. Enjoy a breakfast buffet catered by Tuscany Gourmet Market and live holiday music. Admission is $25 adults, $20 children, under age 2 free. Includes a family photo with Santa and a favor for each child. Reservations are required, no walk-ins. Call 631-403-4846 or visit www.nsyc.com.

Rocky Point

Rocky Point Fire Department Engine Co. #1, 1 Hallock Landing Road, Rocky Point hosts its 25th annual Breakfast with Saanta on Sunday, Dec. 8 from 8 a.m. to noon. All you can eat pancakes, sausage, eggs, hash browns, orange juice, apple juice, coffee and tea. Meet Santa in front of an antique fire engine. Admission is $10 adults, $5 seniors and children ages 5 to 12, under the age of 5 are free. RSVP at 631-744-2231.

— Compiled by Heidi Sutton

 

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John Joseph Fazio’s funeral procession, heading down 25A on Tuesday Nov. 26. Photo by Janet Fortuna

Prepared by the Fazio family

It is with great sadness that we announce the unexpected passing of John Joseph Fazio who left us on Nov. 16 at the age of 63.

John was born Jan. 6, 1961, in Brooklyn where he lived until the family moved to Terryville in 1969. He graduated from Comsewogue High School where he played on the soccer team and wrestled. After graduation, he attended college and coached youth soccer. John then worked as a machinist at several firms before joining Posimech in 1983 where he became vice president and general manager.

John’s dedication and love for his 29 years with the Setauket Fire Department as honorary chief and chief driver was only surpassed by his love for family. He also enjoyed riding his Harley-Davidson and his years of studying Japanese jiu-jitsu, achieving the rank of high-level brown belt.

John is survived by his loving wife Karen; daughters Melissa Ann (Ryan) and Kaitlyn (Matt); and two adoring grandchildren Madison Rose and Ryan Dennis-John.

He is also mourned by his mother Angelina; sister Cynthia (Denis); brothers Mark (Janine), Craig (Cindy) and Steve (Lori); sisters-in-law Kathy Ann (James), Dawn Marie (Brett) and Deborah; brothers-in-law Gerard (Alissa), Brian (Jen) and Kevin (Eileen). He was predeceased by his father Richard and brother-in-law Francis (Kathy).

John was well-liked and respected by employees and business associates as demonstrated by the outpouring of condolences and memories from former and current personnel, customers and suppliers.

The words John used most throughout his life were, “How can I help?”

A celebration of John’s life was held at the Bryant Funeral Home in East Setauket, on Monday, Nov. 25, followed by a Firematic Service at 8 p.m.

A Funeral Mass took place on Tuesday, Nov. 26, at 10:30 a.m., at St. Gerard Majella RC Church, in  Port Jeff Station, which was followed by burial at St. James RC Church in Setauket. 

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to www.joeydfoundation.org.

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Suzanne ‘Sukie’ Rebecca Zeeve

By Rachel Zeeve

If anyone ever did the phrase, “force of nature” any justice, it was Suzanne “Sukie” Rebecca Zeeve. You could see it in the easy way that lemurs and eagles perched on her shoulders in photos from her time studying animal behavior in Madagascar and the Republic of Congo. You could hear it in the way she could make any dog levitate with joy just by singing a nonsense song with their name in it. Sukie made every creature feel understood.

She was the first woman zookeeper at the Bronx Zoo. With a Ph.D. in Comparative Biopsychology from SUNY Stony Brook, she was a fearless advocate for animals and served on a FEMA veterinary emergency response team. She rode horses, trained dogs and captained kayaks. A tireless creative, she played guitar and had an infinite collection of books on every subject. Looking at her prolific doodles, paintings and sketches, you can almost hear her laughing as she made them.

She was also my aunt. In elementary and middle school, I would spend part of each summer at her house.These weeks were nothing short of what Sukie herself was: magic. In the evenings, I’d tell her all about my day at horse camp. Over ice cream sandwiches, we’d cover everything from music and books, to politics, to how best to do an Eric Cartman impression. Whichever dogs happened to be staying over at the time would hang onto Sukie’s every word, and so would I. She was everything I wanted to be. And she still is.

A multi-decade resident of East Setauket with deep roots in the community, she will be profoundly missed. Completely adored by her friends and family, the ecosystem Sukie left behind feels incomplete without her. But she was an artist as much as she was a scientist — the beauty of her memory is just as real as her intrepid presence was.

Zaida Gonzalez scored 21 points at Sunday's game. Photo courtesy of Stony Brook Athletics

The Stony Brook women’s basketball team battled tough, but was ultimately defeated by Fordham, 64-55, on Dec. 1 on their home court. The Seawolves were paced by three players who scored in double figures, led by Zaida Gonzalez who scored 21 points. Breauna Ware tallied 12 points while Chloe Oliver helped out with 10.  

The Rams outlasted the Seawolves in a back-and-forth contest that consisted of six ties and eight lead changes. Stony Brook led 36-35 with 3:10 left to play in the third quarter following a step back jump shot by Ware. Fordham used a 7-2 run that carried over into the fourth quarter to take a lead it would not relinquish.

After falling behind 2-0, Stony Brook went on a 6-0 run with 8:48 left in the first quarter, culminating in a bucket from Brantley, to take a 6-2 lead. The Seawolves then lost some of that lead, but still entered the quarter break with a 14-12 advantage. Stony Brook did most of its first quarter damage in the paint, scoring eight of its 14 points close to the basket. Gonzalez led with eight points through the opening frame.

Fordham rallied to take a 16-14 lead before Stony Brook went on a 6-0 run starting at the 7:22 mark in the second period to take a 20-16 lead. The Rams then battled back to even it up at 27-27 heading into halftime as the Seawolves forced five turnovers from the Rams.

Fordham proceeded to claw their way ahead after halftime, leaving Stony Brook trailing 42-38 as the game entered the fourth quarter. Stony Brook played well near the basket, scoring eight of its 11 points in the paint.

Stony Brook could not pull any closer in the fourth, as Gonzalez dominated with a nine-point performance, but the Seawolves would fall, 64-55 to Fordham as they continue their nonconference slate.

“Tough one for us today,” noted head coach Joy McCorvey postgame. “This was a big stretch playing three games in seven days with a limited number of players. I wasn’t particularly happy with our defense late in the third and fourth and our effort to finish plays and secure stops. I thought we fought hard but ran out of gas down the stretch. We will continue to work through our turnovers, learn and grow through how to get over the hump in close games. We will take the week to work on us and hopefully get a few more players back healthy.” 

The team ships up to Boston next weekend as they take on Holy Cross on Dec. 8 at 2 p.m. This will only be the second meeting between the Seawolves and Crusaders after a 68-55 Stony Brook victory last season. Coverage is set to be available on ESPN+.

#4 Roland Dempster. Photo from Stony Brook Athletics

Stony Brook football running back Roland Dempster has been nominated for the 2024 Walter Payton Award, known as the “Heisman of the FCS.” Stats Perform announced Dempster as one of 35 finalists for the award, which recognizes the national offensive player of the year in Division I FCS college football.

Dempster becomes only the second player in Stony Brook program history to receive this honor. Miguel Maysonet, a standout in the 2012 season, finished as the runner-up that year. Dempster is also one of just two Colonial Athletic Association (CAA) players nominated in 2024, joining Monmouth quarterback Derek Robertson.

The redshirt senior delivered a record-breaking season in 2024, leading Stony Brook in rushing yards (1,332), rushing attempts (268), rushing yards per game (111.0), and all-purpose yards per game (138.9). He also set personal bests in receiving yards (335), receptions (32), and yards per catch (10.5) while starting every game.

Dempster consistently showcased his dominance throughout the season, surpassing 100 rushing yards in seven games and 100 all-purpose yards in nine of 11 games. He eclipsed 200 all-purpose yards in three contests and tallied seven multi-touchdown games, including three games with three rushing touchdowns. This feat made him the first Stony Brook player since Miguel Maysonet in 2011 to achieve three or more games with three rushing touchdowns.

Nationally, Dempster finished third in the FCS and second in the CAA in total touchdowns. He led the CAA and ranked in the FCS top six for total rushing yards and rushing yards per game and ninth in all-purpose yards per game. His 2024 performance also earned him the fourth spot in the FCS for total touchdowns.

In Stony Brook’s program history, Dempster now ranks fourth for most rushing yards and second for most rushing touchdowns in a season by a running back. He also recorded the third-most touchdowns in a single season in program history.

Dempster’s accomplishments include being named the first player in program history to earn the FCS National Offensive Player of the Week honor, awarded on Sept. 30. He also received CAA Offensive Player of the Week accolades on Sept. 9 and Sept. 23.

The Walter Payton Award, in its 38th season, is named after legendary running back Walter Payton, who starred at Jackson State during his Hall of Fame career. Previous winners of the award include notable players such as Steve McNair, Tony Romo, Brian Westbrook, Jimmy Garoppolo, Cooper Kupp, and Trey Lance.

All 13 FCS conferences are represented among the finalists for the award. The winner, selected by a national voting panel, will be announced at the Stats Perform FCS National Awards Banquet on Jan. 4 in Frisco, Texas.

File photo by Raymond Janis

Community call to action: Addressing safety and planning for battery storage sites

[The Nov. 21] issue of the TBR Port Times Record was rife with thought-provoking Letters to the Editor from our neighbors in the Three Villages regarding the proposed siting of two lithium-ion battery storage facilities in their community. These facilities, while pivotal in providing impetus toward a green energy future and away from fossil fuels, are not without the attendant public safety concerns and controversy when placed very close to residential areas. Given the proximity to neighborhoods surrounding Sheep Pasture and Old Town roads, as well as the Greenway Trail bisecting our area, many in Port Jefferson Station/Terryville are equally concerned about the process and appropriateness of the placement of these projects.

It is important to note, however, that the Savion proposal(s) are not the only activity which can impact our hamlet. Since July, there has been a pending application at 1575 Route 112 for a 10-megawatt storage site by New Leaf Energy which is adjacent to the Sagamore Condominium complex and a stone’s throw from the back of Comsewogue High School. It is our intention at our next Civic Association meeting Dec. 17 (7 p.m. at the Comsewogue Public Library) to have representatives of this organization address our membership which is open to any PJS/Terryville resident. I would urge all my neighbors to participate and educate themselves about this pressing and important topic.

Just as significant, I reiterate my plea that Brookhaven take a leadership role in helping engage the broader community of our town by way of a summit meeting bringing experts together to ensure that our citizens are informed. These storage facilities are spreading across Brookhaven since it is one of the few (perhaps only) municipality on Long Island to have not imposed a moratorium on these projects until defined criteria can be developed to ensure safety. I believe it is incumbent on our local officials to develop a Master Siting Plan to determine what safeguards and standards are necessary and what specific parcels can be identified for the proper, safe location of this activity. Having any L1 (light industrial) zoned parcel have an “as of right “ opportunity to develop this new technology could lead to an uproar of confusion as these sites proliferate. In the absence of extensive dialogue, misinformation can be spread as to how dangerous or toxic these proposals are, when a more rational discussion and analysis could lead to better public policy and a clear direction for our future.

  Ira Costell

 President, Port Jefferson Station/Terryville Civic Association

Lithium-ion batteries: A risky bet for energy storage?

As an electronics engineer, I designed several systems incorporating charging and balancing circuits for lithium-ion batteries. One of these was for the Juno mission, which was launched by NASA in 2011, arrived at Jupiter in 2016, a trip of 1.74 billion miles, and continues to be operational today. I have some familiarity with the characteristics of lithium-ion batteries, which are scheduled to be utilized in the proposed energy storage facilities in Setauket and East Setauket.

The problem with lithium-ion batteries is that they are subject to the phenomenon of thermal runaway, which produces an uncontrollable white-hot fire that cannot be extinguished by ordinary means. This fire does not require external oxygen, but is the result of an intense chemical reaction inside the battery cell. Thermal runaway can be induced in several ways, including mechanical stress, such as by impact or lightning, or by overcharging, even by a very small amount. To attain the maximum amount of stored energy, a lithium-ion battery is charged to very close to its maximum rated voltage, which is typically around 4.2 volts. If this voltage is exceeded, even very slightly, e.g., to 4.3 volts or 4.4 volts, thermal runaway may be induced, and it cannot be reversed. In a well-designed system, electronic circuits are utilized which do not allow overcharging to occur. Unfortunately, no electronic circuit is absolutely 100% failure proof. For established critical applications, including military and space, reliability calculations are performed. For each circuit, the mean time between failures (MTBF) and probability of failures per year are calculated. It would be interesting to know whether Savion can provide this analysis for this application.

Thermal runaway, and its fearsome result, is not the only problem that may be encountered, and it may not even be the worst problem. That problem is as follows: how many energy storage facilities will we need to provide uninterrupted power to all of our homes, businesses and other users, when our only source of energy becomes solar arrays and windmills? We have been told that, within a few years, all of our “fossil fuel” plants will be shut down, and all of our energy will come from the sun and wind, with batteries to fill in the gaps when the sun and wind are not cooperating. And, to make matters even worse, new AI applications on the horizon will actually cause our energy needs to double.

One would hope that our elected officials have considered this problem, and have made calculations of the amount of energy storage, and the quantity and size of the battery facilities, that will be required to prevent brownouts and blackouts, particularly during extended periods with diminished sun and wind. If they have, it would be most interesting to see them.

 George Altemose

 Setauket

What was missing from Senator Schumer’s $72 million Penn Station grant announcement

Port Jefferson LIRR riders should be concerned about some critical details that were missing from Senator Schumer’s announcement that he has secured $72 million from the United States Department of Transportation for various Penn Station capital improvements.  Is the $72 million an approved appropriation of funding that a transit agency must still develop a grant application or apply for, or is it a real grant that includes $72 million in funding to a transit agency that is now immediately available to be spent by the grant recipient?  Are these funds being administered by the Federal Transit Administration?  Is there already a Memorandum of Understanding between the MTA, LIRR, New Jersey Transit and Amtrak for administration of these funds?

How many years will it take to advance design and engineering (reviewed and approved by MTA, NYC Transit, LIRR, NJ Transit and Amtrak operations, maintenance and other departments) before the project is ready for the next phase of construction?  Design and engineering usually average 5% to 10% of a capital project cost.  Who is going to come up with the $648 to $ 684 million for construction, independent third-party engineering construction management firms to assist in oversight and contingency funding for construction bids coming in above the project cost estimator engineers estimates, contract change orders during construction due to unforeseen site conditions or late requests by LIRR, NYC Transit, NJ Transit and Amtrak operations or maintenance groups?

  Larry Penner

 Great Neck

Clarifying roles: Code officers don’t need firearms

The recent decision by the Port Jefferson Village Board to disarm code officers is a commendable step toward responsible governance and a clearer understanding of law enforcement roles within our community. This move has, understandably, ignited public discourse, revealing a critical misconception: the conflation of firearms with authority.

It’s imperative to clarify that code officers, tasked with upholding local ordinances and ensuring quality of life, operate under a strictly defined legal framework.  New York State law does not grant them the power to carry firearms.  The notion that a weapon somehow amplifies their authority is erroneous and potentially dangerous.

Introducing firearms into code enforcement scenarios unnecessarily escalates risk. It fosters an illusion of power that can lead to confrontations and undermine the essential nature of community-based code compliance.  De-escalation tactics, conflict resolution and proactive community engagement are far more effective tools for achieving the goals of code enforcement.

The Village Board’s decision wisely prioritizes these methods, fostering a safer environment for both residents and officers. By removing firearms from the equation, we encourage a less adversarial and more collaborative approach to code enforcement. This shift promotes trust and mutual respect, which are vital for a thriving community.

 Drew Biondo

Former PJ Trustee

Editor’s Note: This is a rerun of last week’s letter due to mistakes in the text. We apologize for the errors.

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

My initials suited me well before I was old enough to care.

You see, I don’t drink, so the idea of a DD, or designated driver, works for me.

Over the years, not drinking alcohol has triggered an even wider range of responses from adults than discussing my food allergies, which, in themselves, typically start unusual conversations. It seems odd to discuss painful digestive responses to consuming food with people who are about to eat.

Anyway, alcohol is supposed to be some kind of rite of passage, a bonding experience, a chance to celebrate and let loose, and something of a national past time.

I don’t mind when other people drink, but I’ve never been all that tempted to throw down a few beers or to end a tough day with a stiff drink.

When I don’t order a drink, I get a range of questions. “Are you in recovery?” “Are you taking medicine?” “Are you very religious?” “Are you sure you’re human?”

Alcohol is as much of a ritual in the country when adults celebrate as sugary treats are when our children attend another birthday party.

Athletes douse each other with champagne, beer, and other beverages when their teams win rounds of a playoff or championships. People toast each other and the start of a new year with adult beverages.

It’d be funny to see a baseball team retreat to the clubhouse after dog piling at the pitcher’s mound and eat a tray of cookies and milk (which I also can’t drink and, no, I don’t feel like describing what happens if I do). Can you imagine them sitting back with a tray of their favorite vegetables, a towel around their necks and a satisfied smile on their faces?

When I was younger, I held cups of alcohol and laughed with a group that became progressively louder. I would search for water or root beer, which was and still is my favorite soda.

I was tempted to order a scotch and soda, but hold the scotch or, perhaps, a rum and coke without the rum.

The early teens were my drinking sweet spot, literally. I could go through three or four Shirley Temples without seeming to develop too much of a sugar high. No doubt the milk and cookies, the ice cream and the chocolate sprinkles helped me build up a sugar tolerance.

I received my first bottle of wine from a friend in college, who was sharing it with me out of genuine appreciation and was, undoubtedly, following in his parents’ footsteps in offering me an adult gift.

Over the years, I have accumulated a collection of wines that have likely increased in value. At the end of coaching a long, hot baseball, softball or basketball season, grateful parents acknowledged the hours I put into running practices or preparing lineups for games for the team with a bottle of wine.

I did try drinking more than a few sips of alcohol a few times. Once, my wife took me out for my birthday, where I had about a cup of wine. I wasn’t drunk, but I was surprisingly tired and was much more ready for bed than for celebrating.

When my children reached their early teens, we ordered three Shirley Temples for the table.

Recently, I attended a bring your own booze holiday party. We brought some alcoholic drinks and a pecan pie.

We considered purchasing a large bottle of water for me, but figured there’d be a pitcher of water somewhere.

Walking from room to room, I didn’t find water and didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable searching for it or trying to accommodate my request. When I returned home, I was happy to fill my reusable water bottle.

Professionally, not drinking alcohol is not quite as limiting as not playing golf. Back in the days when I covered investment banking, foregoing golf outings meant making fewer connections and gathering less information.

In those days, I was never invited to a batting cage to practice hitting baseballs, which I would have readily accepted.

These days, when neighbors offer to share a few cocktails on their porches, I smile and nod, without making any declarations. It’s harder to argue that I’m not drinking because I’m the designated driver when they live a few hundred feet away. Maybe I’ll bring my own water and will tell them my DD religion doesn’t allow alcohol.

METRO photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publish:

This one just passed was my favorite weekend of the year: Thanksgiving. It started last Wednesday night, as all good weekends should. We, the Dunaief Clan, have managed to extend it into three, even four days. We deserve no less. Like many American families, our immediate members are stretched across the entire continent, from the California coast to Pennsylvania, and from below the Mason-Dixon Line and the Florida Peninsula to the Gulf of Mexico. They need that much time just to get to Grandma’s house and back.

What’s waiting for them when they arrive? Food! All kinds of favorite foods. And love. Lots of love that bridges three generations with mighty hugs. Why, it even takes a good part of that long weekend before all the members of the family finish hugging each other, at which point we sit down to eat. We get back up some hours later, only to regroup for the next meal. We know we are among the fortunate in that regard and give thanks.

Food means so many different things. There are the traditional historic dishes that symbolize the meal reputedly eaten by the Pilgrims. But we have added more to the basics. And each person has a favorite that tickles them when they look at the offerings on the laden table and know it was prepared especially for them. Food is love, and special foods carry that message.

It still amazes me to be surrounded by the many members of my tribe. Some 60 years ago, before I was married, there was just I. Then, three months later, there were the two of us, my husband and me. And then there were children and children-in law, and their children and now, their new daughter-in-law and my first granddaughter-in-law. Together we populate the dining room and fill the house with chatter and laughter.

One of the high points of the weekend follows dinner, when we are still sitting around the table, digesting sufficiently until we can have dessert, and we tell each other what we are most thankful for that occurred in the past year. In that way, I get to catch up on some of the events in my loved ones’ lives and they on mine.

Speaking of dessert, the pumpkin pies were an issue again this year. For almost all the Thanksgivings we have celebrated here, 55 to be exact, we have enjoyed the classic finale from The Good Steer. Their pies pleased all our taste buds, from my offspring to my parents, who would join us from NYC during those early years. Alas, the restaurant on Middle Country Road in Lake Grove is no more; the owners having closed the business. 

So, faced with this significant void, I have done some research and have come up with replacements over the last couple of years. We did a scientific taste test between the offerings I procured this year. I’ve had a number of friends offer suggestions, and I thank them kindly because they understand how important it is to find an alternative source. After all, no two differently made pumpkin pies taste the same. 

The result here hung in the balance until the celebrations ended. My reputation as the Best Thanksgiving Grandma, I am relieved to tell you, is secure. We found a satisfactory replacement. In fact, there was a partisan divide between the two choices, so we will have one of each next year. 

This year, we had a first to celebrate. My oldest grandson had asked the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with to marry him, and she accepted. The wedding was this past spring, and we welcome her enthusiastically into the tribe. I give thanks for the blessing of seeing our family continue to grow.

I hope all of you, Dear Readers, had a Happy Thanksgiving with the foods you enjoy and the people you love, whether they be relatives or close friends or perhaps those you recently met and with whom you have chosen to share this celebratory meal.

On this day, we give thanks for the special people in our lives.