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There’s no good way to put this. We know in a year of hardship so many of us crave the companionship and familial connection of a traditional Thanksgiving, but because of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s something we simply can’t have this year.

Yes, we fought through the worst of the virus in New York, but cases are rising again all over the country. Suffolk stands as a positive test rate of 3.4% as at Nov. 17. Just a few weeks ago we were bragging about how well we were doing at 1%.

Experts have repeatedly said we will enter a second wave of the virus as the weather cools and more people spend time indoors, where the virus can spread more easily.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) announced new limits on several businesses and gatherings. Bars, restaurants and gyms are mandated to close by 10 p.m. for everything barring takeouts. The state also limited in-person gatherings to 10 people, though it excludes households with residents already numbering 10 or more.

Some have questioned the point of the latter restriction, especially whether the state even has the ability to restrict the number of people in a family home. Though there are residents who have reported large gatherings in backyards, the order should be taken more as a notice and reminder. It’s easy to guess just how quickly COVID-19 spreads when there are 20 or more people sitting shoulder to shoulder shoveling Thanksgiving delights into maskless mouths.

We only have to look at recent superspreader events to know just how dangerous maskless gatherings can be. A Sweet 16 event at the Miller Place Inn in September caused 37 people to come down with the virus, some of whom weren’t even at the event, while a reported 270 were required to quarantine.

Local officials have already cited Halloween parties for an increase in positive cases. One can only think holidays like Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year will do even more harm if we don’t take the initiative now.

With that said, there are still many local businesses who depend on Thanksgiving sales, whether it’s the local butcher or bakery. We ask people to still patronize your neighboring establishments even if you might not need as much this year as previous. I mean, don’t we all look forward to Thanksgiving leftover sandwiches?

But likely more people are concerned about not seeing their family sitting around the table as they do every year. There’s no way around it, no, you shouldn’t. Keeping it to household members only will be hard, but there are ways to talk to friends and family through video and phone. We know some people in our office will offer toasts over Zoom and other facilities. And we know that we will be toasting the many people who work and continue to work, making sure people are safe during an unprecedented time. We also need to thank the many volunteers providing food for the needy during an especially difficult  time, and hope all those hungry people find some meal and companionship this holiday.

So, combined with people still traveling home for Thanksgiving, with more visitors likely to come from out of state, we are left with few good options. Some people say something to the effect that “we can’t let the virus control our lives.”

We would counter that thought with the following: If every single one of us having a smaller Thanksgiving for one year saves even just one life, then it would have been worth it.

Is Thanksgiving canceled? Maybe a traditional one is, but the spirit of the holiday certainly won’t be, not if our goal is to keep those around us safe and healthy.

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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Are we coming apart together, coming together apart or just coming apart? The first in that list, coming apart together, gives us a chance to feel connected to others. By coming apart together, we are acknowledging the challenging year we’ve had and continue to have.

Without offering specific solutions, it helps to know we’re not alone and that, perhaps, through the together part, we can manage through conditions that are far from optimal, including the separation we feel from so many people we need in our lives.

Now, if we’re coming together apart, we are focusing on the fact that we can be, and are, together first, before we also admit that we may be hundreds or even thousands of miles away from people whose hugs, smiles and laughter fill the rooms we share. Zoom, FaceTime and other modern conveniences make it possible for us to see each other’s faces, even though the image of the other person can feel flat compared to the reality of sharing time and space.

The third of those possibilities, just plain coming apart, enables us to throw up our arms and acknowledge the reality of our world. Many children are home most, or all, the time. Parents are still working through
Zoom, looking at small squares of people on computer screens for way too many hours during the day. The sameness of each day can become tedious and wear on our nerves, especially during this time when we’d typically plan for family visits.

And, of course, without passing any specific judgment, the hot button election continues to drive wedges among families, friends and neighbors, who can’t imagine how the other side fails to see the obvious realities their favorite anchors or faux news and commentary shows echo each day.

It’s agonizing to see how the differences between camps have become a defining feature and have stirred a sense of frustration and antipathy for the other camp.

Where are the adults in the room? For so long, the country brought together people from different backgrounds, uniting us under the umbrella of an American Dream that was available to anyone who worked hard enough for it.

Our sports-crazed culture believed in the winners they cheered for and used their teams as an inspiration to get ahead, to put more into their craft and to try to win the battle for original ideas. Even fans of hated rivals acknowledged the skills and remarkable games they witnessed from their rivals during heated playoff series. I always rooted against Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, but I also recognized his incredible talent.

Will a vaccine enable us to come together, together? I hope so. Next year at this time, if we have returned to some level of normalcy that allowed us to visit with our friends, to celebrate weddings, graduations, birthdays, and newborns, we will have the structural opportunities to spend time indoors, even in crowded rooms, and support each other.

Between now and then, ideally we’d plant the seeds that enable us to move forward together. We are not an archipelago nation, separated from each other by the ideological, religious or other labels. We do best when we play to the strengths of a workforce dedicated to getting ahead, to providing for our children and to helping the country even as we help ourselves.

While many of us are physically apart, we can try to reach out to family, friends, and neighbors, even if their ideas temporarily baffle us. We can come together if we are there for each other and if we listen to views outside our own.

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Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone. File photo by Alex Petroski

On the night before Thanksgiving, high school and college students typically come together to reconnect, share stories and share a drink.

This year, as COVID-19 cases climb throughout the U.S., including in Suffolk County, County Executive Steve Bellone (D), along with the Suffolk County Police Department and local enforcement offices, are discouraging gatherings that might cause further spread of the virus.

Enforcement efforts will using social host laws, which fine residents for allowing underage drinking, and state-mandated gathering restrictions, which combined, could lead to “serious consequences,” Bellone said on a conference call with reporters Nov. 17.

“No matter where you are or what you are doing, social distancing and mask guidelines must be followed,” Bellone said. “We’ve come too far to go back now.”

With new state restrictions that limit the sale of alcohol after 10 p.m. through bars and restaurants, Bellone said enforcement efforts would be on the look out for gatherings at private residences. Some of these viral spreading events have occurred during smaller gatherings.

“The spread of COVID-19 at these types of parties is very, very real,” Bellone said. “We’ve seen it countless times. We all need to take personal responsibility,” which includes parents who need to comply with social host laws and the state’s gathering limits in homes.

Bellone announced a partnership between the Suffolk County Department of Health and the nonprofit Partners in Prevention, which is starting a social media campaign to inform the community about social host laws. Bellone called this information “critical” leading up to Thanksgiving celebrations.

While Suffolk County enforcement efforts will respond to calls about larger group gatherings, Bellone said police would use “common sense” and would not be “going door to door to check on the number of individuals in a house.”

As for the infection rates, the numbers continue to rise, returning to levels not seen in months.

“We expect our numbers [of positive tests] to be around 400 today,” Bellone said. The positivity rate is about 3.4 percent, while the number of people hospitalized with symptoms related to the virus approaching 100.

“We have not been above 100 since June 18,” Bellone said. In the last 24 hours, the number of people who have required hospitalization from the virus increased by 16.

While the virus has exhausted people physically and mentally, the county cannot “jeopardize our continued economic recovery” and the health of the population by stepping back from measures such as social distancing, mask wearing and hand washing that proved so effective in reducing the spread earlier this year, Bellone said.

“Now is the time to double down on common sense measures that work,” he added.

Some of the positive tests are coming from people in nursing homes, who are among the most vulnerable population.

“With the nursing homes, that is obviously a big concern,” Bellone said. The county is “making sure they have the PPE [personal protective equipment] they need.”

The Department of Health is staying in close contact with these facilities as cases continue to climb.

Bellone urged residents who dined at a Friendly’s restaurant in Riverhead on Nov. 5 or 6 to monitor their symptoms for the next two weeks. Six adults who worked at the restaurant have tested positive for the virus.

Anyone who is exhibiting symptoms of the virus, which include fever, a runny nose, lost of taste or smell, fatigue, shortness of breath, can find a testing site at suffolkcountyny.gov/covid19.

Separately, when asked about the possibility of schools closing in response to the increasing incidence of positive tests, Bellone urged schools to remain open at this testing level.

“We are not seeing the spread happening in the schools,” Bellone said. “The protocols being put in place and the execution in the schools has really worked.”

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Stony Brook students performed self mouth swab COVID-19 tests before leaving for home. Photo by Julianne Mosher

Stony Brook students and faculty have been utilizing the campus’ quick, free saliva swab testing to stay clear of the Coronavirus before holiday break.

Stony Brook University student volunteers, from left, Elah Ginsburg, Patricia Indelicato and Emily Lam help test students before they leave for Thanksgiving. Photo by Julianne Mosher

Although students will not be returning to campus after the Thanksgiving holiday, the university began implementing swab testing sites on three parts of campus for commuter students, residents and faculty.

Earlier this month, Marisa Bisiani, assistant vice president for student health, wellness, and prevention services issued a message to students concerning COVID testing and the Thanksgiving holiday.

“We are committed to maintaining the health and safety of our campus community,” she said. “This includes requiring COVID testing for students who, like you, live off-campus, but may come to campus for an in-person class, work on campus or visit campus facilities.”

In accordance with SUNY policy, all commuter students must complete a COVID test within the 10-day period prior to the start of the break.

“As many COVID cases are asymptomatic, meaning you can be infected, and unknowingly and unintentionally spread the disease to others, we want you to know your health status before Thanksgiving to help keep you and your family safe,” she added.

Faculty and students who are on campus from Nov. 9 through Nov. 20 must get tested. If a student will not be on campus at that time, they must fill out an exemption form online.

After scheduling an appointment online, students are able to visit the Student Activity Center, the Health Sciences Center Galleria and for East End students, at the Stony Brook Southampton campus’ student center. There they receive a mouth swab and safely hand it over to the workers for testing. Results come back two to five days after the swab.

“We get over 150 tests done a day,” said Elah Ginsberg, a sophomore on campus who works at the testing site. “Yesterday we have 300 come by.”

The need for quick testing on campus began early last month, with new requirements that faculty, staff and commuter students to get checked for the virus.

“All commuters have to get their cheeks swabbed,” Emily Lam, a senior volunteer at the site, said. “I think it’s way safer and ensures that they’re healthy when they come to campus.”

Patricia Indelicato, health administration coordinator on campus, said she loves that this opportunity is so easily available. “It’s great and it’s helping to keep the community safe.”

Lauren Crennan, who works at the university’s undergraduate college, said that although it’s required for her to get tested, she doesn’t mind doing it one bit.

“I’m happy that they’re doing it,” she said. “It gives me a peace of mind and it’s an easy two-minute walk from my office.”

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The head of pediatrics at Stony Brook Children's Hospital said current restrictions on daily life has not meant young people have not been exposed to normal childhood diseases. Stock photo

The school and day care mixing bowl of bacterial and viral illnesses has changed. As schools, day-care centers, clubs, sports teams and other organizations change the way they manage group gatherings amid the pandemic, the game of illness tag children seem to play has slowed.

“We are seeing potentially less viral illnesses thus far in the sense that we have not seen an increase yet in respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV,” said Christy Beneri, Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Program Director of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital. “We are still waiting to see what happens with the flu.”

The chance of children contracting some of those illnesses would likely be less this year amid the infection control measures to reduce the spread of COVID-19, the disease responsible for the pandemic.

Beneri said children are getting somewhat fewer infections, although doctors are still seeing strep throat, ear infections and pneumonia.

Viral-induced asthma visits have declined at Stony Brook. Children who have asthma are still seeking medical attention, particularly if their condition doesn’t have a viral trigger.

At the same time, the effects of social isolation, uncertainty about the future, and household anxiety has triggered an additional mental health burden, particularly for adolescents.

Pediatricians are “asking patients more about those issues,” she said. “We maybe didn’t ask as much as we should have in the past.”

Even though children generally have less contact with their contemporaries this year, they are still developing illnesses, as their immune system receives challenges from microbes through dirt, pet saliva and other sources.

The dynamic is “slightly different in terms of getting some of these viruses from other people, [but] there are still pathogens in their environment,” she said.

In the current environment, with positive tests for COVID-19 setting new national daily records, Beneri said it is important to practice infection control measures in certain settings, which will impact what children are exposed to over time.

The cultural shift from sending children who might have mild symptoms to school to keeping children home for the good of their fellow students and staff has helped reduce the spread of COVID and other potential infections.

“We’ve taken a step back from what makes sense not just for my child, but for others my child might be exposing,” Beneri said. The decision about whether to send a child who might be battling an illness, cold or minor discomfort to school “is not just about us. It’s about those in our communities and, hopefully, there’s a better recognition” about the impact an infected child can have.

Some of the infection control measures, such as hand hygiene and staying home when children are sick should continue even after companies start providing a COVID-19 vaccine.

At this point, with the virus still prevalent in the community and country, she said acute care visits are declining, as parents are managing at home and are watching and waiting to see how their children recover from any infection.

As a parent, Beneri is dealing with the disappointment and disruption of life in the pandemic for her seven-year-old daughter. Twice, the family has had to cancel a trip to Disney World and has scheduled it for a third time.

Once the worst of the pandemic passes and children get back together again, the pediatric program director said there might be an increase in certain infections, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the county will see horrific outbreaks.

With the approach of Thanksgiving and the December holidays, Beneri urges families to be creative about gatherings. She suggested that smaller groups might want to get together over two weekends, rather than all gathering at the same time.

As for advice to schools, Beneri urges people to remain mindful of their activities outside of school.

“It’d be a shame to have to close schools,” Beneri said.

Beneri added people can celebrate milestones like turning 16, but they should not have a 40-person event in the current environment.

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Let’s Give Thanks & Help Ones In Need.  Bryant Funeral Home is hosting their Annual Thanksgiving Food Drive.  Please bring non-perishable food to the funeral home located at 411 Old Town Road, E. Setauket,  from now till November 21st from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.  Every 5 items you bring will earn you a chance to win one of three raffle prizes.  All food collected will be donated to the local food pantries located at St. James RC Church in Setauket, Infant Jesus RC Church in Port Jefferson and St. Gerard Majella Church in Port Jefferson Station.  Please call 631-473-0082 for further information.

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From left, Kamazima Lwiza aboard the hospital ship Jubilee Hope which is owned by a British NGO known as Vine Trust and provides services to several islands on Lake Victoria with Deogratias Kabogo, Chief Engineer of the ship. Photo by Pascal Ferdinand

By Daniel Dunaief

In tropical and subtropical countries, including Brazil and the Ivory Coast, a parasite moves from snails to humans, causing 220 million illnesses a year and as many as 200,000 annual deaths.

People contract the parasite when they enter shallow, warm waters, where the schistosomiasis larvae known as cercariae enters through the skin, moves through the blood stream and settles near the stomach or bladder.

Once it’s near the bladder, the parasite reproduces, sending its eggs out through urine or feces, which, if directed towards warm, shallow water bodies, can enter the snail and begin the process again.

Schistosomiasis causes anemia, malnutrition and learning difficulties, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as the parasite robs humans of zinc and vitamins A and D. Prolonged infection can also cause bladder cancer.

Kamazima Lwiza, Associate Professor at the School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences at Stony Brook University, is part of a new, five-year study on the effects of climate change on schistosomiasis.

Lwiza’s part of the research, which is lead by Stanford University and involves several institutions, is analyzing the latest Global Climate Models known as Coupled Model Intercomparison Project phase 6 results. Lwiza studies the models under four-kilometer resolution to look for patterns and trends.

By creating a model that predicts temperature changes, Lwiza’s part of the efforts hope to help other collaborators apply those temperature expectations to epidemiological models. The ability of the parasite to survive, reproduce and infect humans depends on the viability of the snails, which are temperature sensitive. The temperature range is between 14 and 35 degrees Celsius, with an optimal temperature of between 30 and 32 degrees Celsius.

A warmer climate would likely increase the prevalence of schistosomiasis in the regions of Brazil and the Ivory Coast that this study is exploring, as well as in newer areas.

Kamazima Lwiza prepared instruments before installation aboard the hospital ship Jubilee Hope, which is owned by a British NGO known as Vine Trust and provides services to several islands on Lake Victoria. Photo by Pascal Ferdinand

Depending on the regional topography, human population and amount of rainfall, the area that is conducive to Schistosomiasis could expand. An area that is relatively flat and where rainfall increases and human population is low but increasing could cause the infection rate to climb.

As waterways that were too cold either reach the minimum temperature threshold for snails, or increase the temperature into the optimal range, snail populations are likely to flourish.

Part of the funding for the SoMAS portion of the study is coming from the National Science Foundation and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. These national funding agencies recognize that increasing temperature and land use has created an environment that fosters the expansion of snails and increased prevalence of parasites into areas in the southern United States.

“Given the climate change,[some parts of Florida and Georgia] will be falling within that temperature range,” Lwiza said. “The worry is that, if this disease is going to spread, how are we going to be prepared to keep it off.”

Lwiza had originally planned to travel to Brazil this past summer to collect baseline data on water temperatures. The pandemic caused him to cancel his travel. Next year, he hopes to build on data around significant water bodies where the disease is prevalent.

While the portion of the study that includes Lwiza focuses on temperature, the Stony Brook scientist is working with other researchers who are exploring a range of other analytical and mitigation measures.

For starters, in some countries that have battled against this parasite, the use of dams has exacerbated the problem. Dams have kept out prawns, who are natural predators for snails.

Scientists are considering reintroducing prawns. These shellfish, which look somewhat like shrimp, could not only reduce the population of snails and the parasites they carry, but could also become an economic boon, as a part of an aquaculture project.

The goal of that part of the study is to “see if [prawns] can be used as biological control agents,” Lwiza said. “If we can find a way of introducing these back to where they used to be, we can cut down the snail population.”

The third aspect of the study involves the use of artificial intelligence. Researchers are putting together a program that will allow people to take pictures of the parasites they find and upload them to a web site to identify them.

“That way, we are doing crowd sourcing” which will allow “people to contribute to our investigation,” Lwiza said. Researchers will be able to map the location of the parasites.

Lwiza said Schistosomiasis can affect anyone who goes in the water. The illness doesn’t get as much attention as malaria. When people go to a rural clinic, if they have malaria, they can get medicines from 20 vendors. A person with Schistosomiasis, however, may need to go to a district or regional hospital for medication.

Originally from Tanzania, Lwiza grew up on the western shores of Lake Victoria, where strong waves don’t favor the development of snails. He currently lives in East Northport with his wife Catherine Kentuha, who works in the United Nations Development Program. The couple has three children — Philip, Johnathan and Mulokozi.

Lwiza has worked at Stony Brook University for 29 years and has lived in Port Jefferson Village and East Setauket.

When he lived in Port Jefferson Village, he was pleased and surprised by how his neighbors brought him candles during a brown out and made sure he and his family were okay.

“It was like, ‘Wow, this is really great. This is like Africa,’” he recalls thinking.

When he’s not working, Lwiza enjoys riding a bike and listening to Indian, Arab, African and Latin music. He is also interested in computer programming.

As this study of Schistosomiasis progresses, Lwiza hopes the incidence of disease decreases and that the science helps protect the population against a widespread illness.

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Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone. Photo by Julianne Mosher

Just as many areas in the rest of the country are experiencing a rise in positive tests for the coroanvirus, Suffolk County has now completed a week in which the numbers have climbed quickly.

The seven-day moving average of new cases is over 300, compared with an average of 119 the prior week.

“For a full week, we’ve seen an alarming spike in new COVID-19 cases,” County Executive Steve Bellone (D) said on a conference call with reporters.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) has issued new guidelines starting this evening for restaurants, bars and fitness centers. Starting at 10 pm, each of those businesses is required to close from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. Restaurants are allowed to offer curbside dining for pick up only after 10 p.m., but they can’t serve alcohol after that time.

At the same time, gatherings are limited to 10 people, in part because smaller collections of people have contributed to the rise in positive tests.

Starting today, the county will also deploy six teams, consisting of one fire marshal and one staff member from consumer affairs to boost ongoing compliance.

These teams will speak with businesses about new restrictions. The first focus will be on gaining compliance and informing and educating the public. These new teams will have the authority to issue citations if they “detect or observe egregious violations,” Bellone said.

These new restrictions are the first in the county since the spring.

“We don’t want to see new restrictions take effect that will slow the recovery more,” Bellone said. “That will all be dependent on what we do in the next couple of weeks.”

The county has a “short window” in which to get these numbers under control, the county executive continued.

The county has activated 200 additional case investigators and has 1,000 contact traces following up on positive tests within the county.

The goal is to get index cases as quickly as possible within a 24-hour period, Bellone added, to reduce the spread of the virus.

Bellone urged people to avoid gatherings this weekend to the greatest extent possible.

“We are entering a dangerous period for this virus,” Bellone said. “We have long talked about the possibility of a second wave in the fall. It very much feels like that’s where we are.”

With two weeks left until Thanksgiving, Bellone reminded residents that the time to quarantine is limited.

People need to follow best practices, which includes social distancing, mask wearing and hand sanitizing, even as the weather gets colder and residents spend more time indoors.

“No one wants their Thanksgiving gathering to be the next super spreader event,” Bellone said.

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Though Election Day may have passed, local psychologists said the strain partisanship is still causing undue stress and anxiety. Stock photo

Though this year’s election arguably lasted far longer than any other in recent history, the way even the presidential election has lingered in the news has not slowed the amount of stress people are feeling in its wake.

A study conducted by market research firm The Harris Poll for the American Psychological Association, released Oct. 7, said 76% of Democrats, 67% of Republicans and 64% of Independent voters said the election was a major stressor in their lives. 

“Many people are isolated, and in such a politically charged environment, there’s just a lot of uncertainty about the future.”

— Dr. Donna Friedman

Local psychologists have witnessed the general anxiety from their patients and the 2020 election’s impact on mental health. Dr. Donna Friedman said among her clients who go to her in her East Setauket practice, she would agree with the APA’s study. And with the combination of the COVID-19 pandemic and protests all around the country over law enforcement, the level of election stress is something she has never before seen in her near 35 years in private practice. Worse, lingering questions of a peaceful transfer of power and absentee ballot counts have made this period of heightened tension last.

Though people may not have the same political viewpoints, many of them share similar feelings of stress. Every person is different, and among the many issues of an issue-filled age, individuals have a much bigger opportunity to feel anxious. The APA study points out those with chronic health conditions are significantly more likely to say the election is a very significant source of stress for them.

“For some people the issue is Trump and how he treats women, for another person it might be issues with police, how law enforcement has affected them — it depends,” Friedman said. “It’s not across the board everyone feels the same way.”

What people are feeling stressed and anxious about also depends on different demographics. For people of color, the election was even more of a stressor than previous years, such as with Black people at 71% in 2020 compared to just 46% in 2016, according to the APA study. 

Dr. Chris Kearney, a fellow East Setauket-based psychologist, said with all the external factors, this current election has heightened stress further than he’s seen before from any other election.

Kearney, who works with both adolescents and adults, said young people are afraid of what this pandemic and election mean for them right now, whether it will impact their ability to go to college or get a job. Adults are more stuck on where they are, he said, and it’s more difficult for them to open up. 

“For the teens, it’s what’s going to happen in the immediate right now, for the adults they’re very unrelenting — once they have an opinion, it’s hard to interject another rationale,” he said.  

As a therapist, his role is to stay neutral even when his patients talk about their personal political views, though he said for adults it’s important to know such animosity to the other side can become imprinted on younger children. 

Friedman said people being cut off from their social contacts because of the ongoing pandemic has only helped exacerbate the issue, and this stress is much more apparent with older than younger folks. Older people are more afraid of getting sick, or even being alone and getting sick. Younger people speak less about fear of getting sick, but more so how they will be impacted by the election.

“I think that volatility just continues in our everyday life and behaviors, and that’s why that stress level is increased.”

— Dr. Chris Kearney

“Many people are isolated, and in such a politically charged environment, there’s just a lot of uncertainty about the future,” she said. “People are divided from each other when they really do need to feel connected.”

With more people seeking or coming back to therapy, local psychologists said this charged political time has truly damaged relationships among both family and friends. The APA has suggested people need to break habits of ruminating on the worst-case scenario and instead focus on things one can control and engage in meaningful activities.

Friedman said people need to practice good self-care. Part of that includes limiting time one might spend hooked into the 24-hour news cycle. News can become “addicting,” she said, and it might be best to limit oneself to specific points in the day where you can read or watch to catch oneself up. She added people need to focus on maintaining social connections as best as one can, and should also try to distract oneself from the surrounding negativity through hobbies or other interests, anything from gardening to taking walks. 

Kearney said it’s important to not let a difference of opinion between you, your family, friends or even coworkers become volatile.

“I think that volatility just continues in our everyday life and behaviors, and that’s why that stress level is increased and gets even higher,” he said. “If we work together and help each other, we can maybe reduce that volatility in our relationships.”

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Rena Sylvester along with dozens of volunteers prepare and deliver meals to Suffolk County veterans. Photo from Rena Sylvester

Helping veterans is something one Stony Brook resident does all year long.

Volunteer Michelle Hahn and her daughters deliver to veterans in their neighborhood. Photo from Michelle Hahn

Rena Sylvester, 55, has been cooking and preparing meals in her home for local veterans since earlier this year, and the volunteer effort has become known as Cooking for Long Island Veterans. Sylvester said she recently filed for CFLIV to become a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, which should be finalized this month.

For Sylvester, building a nonprofit organization that helps vets through providing meals came naturally. She said she’s always had a soft spot for veterans and is proud of those in her family tree, which include a grandfather who was in the Spanish-American War, and a great-great-grandfather who fought for the North in the Civil War. She said she remembers bringing her great-great-grandfather’s photo into school in seventh grade and has a steamer trunk from a great uncle who fought in World War I.

She first started cooking for Marine Corps League Detachment #247 in Bay Shore while she was a home economics teacher in the East Islip school district. After her retirement from teaching a couple of years ago, she said she continued to cook for the group and other veterans organizations.

Earlier in the year, a few vets reached out to Sylvester to see if she knew what happened to a woman who started a GoFundMe page to deliver meals to veterans. Sylvester contacted the woman, who told her she was unable to keep up. That’s when Sylvester rose to the occasion and started cooking in her own kitchen.

What started as cooking for a few vets has turned into delivering meals to more than 50 throughout Suffolk County. Through Sylvester’s previous connections with vets and veterans organizations, many reached out to her during the pandemic and the number of vets receiving meals increased. Currently, CFLIV has a waiting list.

“We are totally experiencing growing pains,” she said.

Rena Sylvester delivers meals to a veteran. Photo from Rena Sylvester

Fortunately, she said the number of volunteers who make up Cooking for Long Island Veterans has grown from a few to around 40, many of whom live in the Three Village area or Islip. Sylvester said it’s not only cooks she needs. Those who have offered to drive have also been a big help. She is now looking for people who can create a website, make copies and do some light housekeeping. Also, with a garage renovation underway to create cooking space, the organization can use help with lighting fixtures, electric hot water heaters, flooring and shelving.

Sylvester said every bit helps. She has a few volunteers who commit to a certain amount of time each month or a set amount of money. She said one volunteer is at her home every Thursday without fail and every month she can count on one local couple to spend $100 on CFLIV. There is also one volunteer who comes from Manhasset once a month to pick up food from Sylvester and then deliver to homes west of Stony Brook.

Some volunteers even get their families involved like Michelle Hahn. She and her two daughters, Anna, 7, and Gabriella, 5, have been delivering food to vets near her Stony Brook home for about a year.

“My girls love the idea of helping those who keep us safe and free,” Hahn said.

The mother said there are several senior veterans in her neighborhood, and when she and her family discovered Sylvester and volunteers were preparing and delivering meals to them, they wanted to get involved.

“We donate time when we can by cooking meals, making deliveries, recruiting volunteers or helping Rena in her busy house,” she said.

Sylvester said one way she increased the number of volunteers was reaching out to Three Village Wine Fairies, a Facebook group where people deliver wine to strangers after hearing about it from Bobby Hebert who owns Hamlet Wines & Liquors in East Setauket. She realized if they were willing to spend money on and deliver wine to strangers, maybe they would be open to helping out veterans. She reached out to the members and was right, gaining a few more volunteers.

Vets receive three each of breakfast, lunch and dinner per visit, according to Sylvester, sometimes more but never less. Each veteran receives the names and contact information of those who cooked the meals and delivered them to give the ex-servicemembers the opportunity to thank them. Sylvester said the ‘thank yous’ are important to let the volunteers know they are appreciated.

Hahn said she appreciated the calls of appreciation.

“I once had a senior vet call me and say, ‘My own family doesn’t help me out the way you all do,’” she said. “[It] melted my heart.”

In addition to volunteers, CFLIV accepts financial donations, gift cards and food donations from restaurants and supermarkets. Sylvester said she’s received help from businesses such as Panico’s Community Market in Smithtown, Rolling Pin in East Setauket, Rocco’s Pizza in St. James and others.

“We aren’t looking for anyone to give us 80 meals a week or anything,” she said. “We’re looking for a little help.”

Rena Sylvester, right, picks up donations from Panico’s Community Market in Smithtown. Photo from Rena Sylvester

On Nov. 10, Bliss restaurant in East Setauket held a fundraiser event for the organization. For every to-go dinner, the restaurant gave CFLIV 25% of the sale.

Christine Reardon said her parents, Frank and Eleanor, who live in Stony Brook have received meals from the volunteers. She called the service “a godsend.”

“It is just amazing to know that an abundance of food arrives weekly at their doorstep,” Reardon said. “Mom and dad, who is a Korean War vet, are both in failing health and to have this for my parents is appreciated beyond words.”

Richard Ehrlich, an 89-year-old Korean War vet who lives in Stony Brook, said he enjoys the meals. When he heard the organization could use more funds, he said he decided to donate what he could once a month.

“It helps me from running around a lot and shopping,” he said.

Sylvester said they are open to helping veterans who may not need financial assistance, but who may have physical limitations or are hesitant to shop during the pandemic. They are asked for a donation of whatever they could afford toward the cause.

“We are here to serve the needy veterans,” she said. “If a veteran is physically needy — but not financially — we need their financial support to keep running. Without financial support we will not be able to keep up with the demand.”

Those who are interested in volunteering for Cooking for Long Island Veterans or donating, can email Sylvester at [email protected].

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