Village Beacon Record

Trustee candidates Kyle Hill, Marie Parziale, and Xena Ugrinsky sit before the audience at the Meet the Candidates event on Tuesday, June 11. Photo by Aidan Johnson

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

This Tuesday, I went to a Meet the Candidates night in Port Jefferson Village. I left, some two hours later, feeling proud — proud of being an American and proud of my neighbors. 

The Village will hold its election for trustees next week, and this was an attempt by those residents who are running for office to inform the voting public about their positions and qualifications. It was jointly sponsored by the Chamber of Commerce and the Civic Association in the Village Center. 

There are a number of villages along the North Shore, where our newspapers service the communities, that hold local elections, and I would like to think my experience was typical of all of them. The occasion was an example of representative democracy, in which a candidates who best reflects one’s beliefs earns that person’s vote. The winner in a subsequent free and supervised election then becomes the elected official. 

That’s America.

I was also proud because the audience, of some 75 people I would guess, listened politely, applauded spontaneously if a candidate’s words touched a nerve, then broke into small groups to chat with each other at the end. In this case, there are two trustee vacancies with three residents running. And while there was mention throughout the speeches of clearly different positions with acknowledgement of much passion throughout the village, information at this forum was the order of the day. There were no invectives thrown, no voices raised or denigrating asides. The candidates smiled and shook hands at the end.

That does not mean there are no serious problems for Port Jefferson and that residents here are less caring. Quite the contrary. Problems like erosion, development, environmental sustainability, flooding, government transparency, municipal services, parking, and safety are common to villages and hamlets throughout the North Shore and Long Island. And not surprisingly, they excite passionate response, but the response does not have to be insulting or threatening if we see each other as neighbors, not colors.

We, of course, care deeply about the places in which we live. It’s not only a matter of economics, where development could impact property values, for example, but also our pride of place that comes into play during meetings. But insults and put downs are not necessary and would even be a hindrance during attempts to work together toward solutions.

And that is the key: working together. The candidates all got that.

I have great respect for neighbors who are willing to put themselves out there to run for office. Perhaps they are interested in the glory of office, but it takes an enormous amount of time and energy to stump for election. And in this day, candidates not only open themselves up for scrutiny, they bring their families to the forefront also to be evaluated. Privacy vanishes, and often, so does respect. They are fair game as targets for everyone’s freedom of speech. Libel law does not much protect candidates who become public figures.

The format of the Port Jefferson meeting was somewhat restrictive. Candidates were each given short intervals to speak—one to three minutes per question or summation. And the questions from the audience were written on 3×5 cards and passed along to a three-person panel before asked by the moderator, with an eye toward relevance and civility.

Candidates were prepped in advance, not given the actual question but with a heads up as to the likely issues to be covered. The two women and a man who were running probably knew what some of those issues were, but a little planning can help keep things calm and on track.

Did the informational meeting sway voters in any way? My guess is that most came already knowing whom they would vote for, but perhaps some were undecided. Even for those who knew, confirmation was helpful. It’s nice to see who will be the faces of the Village and how they comport themselves.

I hope, during this election season for villages and primaries, you, too, feel proud. 

Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

It’s so easy to take each other for granted. Of course mom is going to drop everything at work, where she has an incredibly important job, and race to watch you play clarinet with your dad during a day-time concert because that’s what she does and that’s who she is.

And, of course, grandma is going to bring the entire family together for various holidays, welcoming us with hugs and kisses and ensuring that the house has the specific foods each of us needs for the days we share.

But these moments are not a given, any more than sunshine during a picnic or a last minute, life-saving reaction that avoids a traffic accident is.

Recently, my wife and I attended a service for my late mother-in-law. In a small ceremony at the cemetery, almost the entire extended family came.

My wife and I, our children and father-in-law arrived together over 90 minutes early. We sat in the car, waiting for everyone else to arrive and for the ceremony to begin. Other cars slowly glided past us, as other families and friends came to pay respects and to honor those whom they were fortunate enough to know but had lost.

Our children and I climbed out of the car and walked up and down the road, looking at the significant life-defining dates — when someone was born and when they died. We calculated how old each person was. A child died at the age of two in 1931, while a grandmother lived well into her 90’s.

Small raindrops started to fall, sending us scampering back into the car just before a sudden and surprisingly strong downpour.

My wife checked the forecast, which suggested that the rain would stop before the ceremony. Sure enough, 20 minutes before we had to get out of the car, the rain eased up and the sun peaked through the clouds, as the mixed weather served as a backdrop for moments of appreciation and an awareness of the keen loss.

We greeted other family members, who hugged us, shook our hands, or, in some cases, ignored us, carrying grudges or standing on principle for slights real or imagined long ago.

We saw an extended relative and her fiancée whom we hadn’t seen in person since their engagement. We congratulated them on their upcoming wedding, asked about the planning for the big day, and enjoyed the reality of a multi-year relationship transitioning into an upcoming marriage.

The officiant called everyone over, causing almost every other conversation to stop. After some somber words, he urged us to reflect on the person we were so fortunate to know and on the valuable time we shared.

After he expressed awe at the incredible long-term marriage between my father-in-law and mother-in-law, he asked if anyone wanted to speak. In a soft voice, my father-in-law celebrated the relationship he had with his wife, recalling the first time he met her and the bond they formed over 66 years of marriage.

When the officiant asked if anyone else wanted to speak, he turned to the grandchildren. Our son, who is the youngest grandchild and who gravitated towards his mother to offer his support, nodded.

He remembered the way his grandmother called him over whenever we arrived, smiling broadly and signaling with her index finger for him to come kiss her, which he and all the next generation readily did.

He also remembered how grandma, who was among the smallest people in any room, was always the cake cutter for birthdays. He described how her tiny arms worked their way through each cake, even frozen ice cream cakes, as she made sure everyone got a piece.

With each word, he reflected the love she gave to all her grandchildren back out into the world. In that moment, when he so eloquently captured his grandmother’s dedication to family, he made it clear that he didn’t take her for granted, any more than my wife and I took him for granted.

Without any preparation, he rose to the occasion, helping us see her through his grateful eyes.

There was no “of course” that day for grandma or for her grandchildren, just gratitude.

As summer arrives so too does the inevitable surge in tick activity. Our beautiful region, with its lush landscapes and thriving wildlife, provides the perfect habitat for these tiny, yet potentially dangerous, parasites. It’s crucial for residents to stay informed and vigilant to protect themselves, their families and their pets from tick-borne diseases.

Ticks, particularly the black-legged or deer tick, are more than just a nuisance. They are vectors for several diseases, including Lyme disease, babesiosis, anaplasmosis, ehrlichiosis, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, hard tick relapsing fever and Powassan encephalitis. Each year, numerous cases of these illnesses are reported, with Lyme disease being the most common. Early symptoms can range from a rash and flu-like symptoms to more severe complications if left untreated.

Prevention is key

To minimize the risk of tick bites you can dress for the occasion, when venturing into wooded or grassy areas, wear long sleeves, long pants tucked into socks and closed-toe shoes. Light-colored clothing makes it easier to spot ticks. 

Tick and bug repellents are also another way to minimize risk, a repellent that contains picaridin or permethrin is most effective. Avoiding tick habitats, staying on marked trails and avoiding tall grasses and leaf litter where ticks are likely to be found are good practices. Be cautious around areas where deer are common, as they often carry ticks.

After spending time outdoors, be sure to conduct thorough tick checks on yourself, your children and even your pets. Pay special attention to areas where ticks like to hide, like under the arms, in and around the ears, inside the belly button, behind the knees, in the hair and around the waist.

For pets, particularly dogs, check around the ears, neck and between the toes, as ticks usually like to hide somewhere warm on the body. Regular grooming and the use of veterinarian-recommended tick prevention products can greatly reduce the risk for your furry friends.

What to do if you find a tick

If you find a tick attached to your skin, don’t panic. You can use fine-tipped tweezers to grasp the tick as close to the skin’s surface as possible and then pull upward applying even pressure without twisting or jerking, as this can cause the mouth-parts to break off and remain in the skin.

After removing the tick, be sure to clean the bite area and your hands with rubbing alcohol, an iodine scrub or soap and water and to dispose of the tick properly — submerge the tick in alcohol, place it in a sealed bag/container, wrap it tightly in tape or flush it down the toilet. Never crush a tick with your fingers.

Monitor the bite site for any signs of a rash or flu-like symptoms. If you experience these symptoms, contact your health care provider promptly.

Preventing tick-borne diseases requires community-wide efforts. Local authorities and health organizations should continue to educate residents about tick prevention and control. Programs to manage deer populations and reduce tick habitats are essential in controlling the spread of ticks. 

Since 2015, Stony Brook Southampton Hospital’s Regional Tick-Borne Disease Resource Center has been operating a free tick helpline at 631-726-TICK (8425). Also, Renaissance School of Medicine, Stony Brook University, has a tick-borne clinic at Lake Grove. 

A little precaution goes a long way in protecting against the dangers of ticks.

Civic association swears in at the June 3 meeting. Photo by Aidan Johnson

By Aidan Johnson

Dozens of residents attended the Mount Sinai Civic Association meeting June 3 to voice their safety concerns over a potential new battery energy storage system facility locally.

The facility, proposed by New Leaf Energy, would have a 20-year lifespan, after which the site would need to be restored to its pre-project condition.

The proposed area is adjacent to Mount Sinai-Coram Road and Route 25A on property owned by real estate agent Ray Manzoni. However, because this property is zoned as transitional business, New Leaf Energy’s application proposes the zone be changed to light industrial.

Former county Legislator Sarah Anker (D-Mount Sinai), who has been a vocal critic of the proposal, and Brookhaven Town Supervisor Dan Panico (R) also attended. While speaking, Panico addressed misinformation on social media that incorrectly told Mount Sinai residents that “the people in either Holbrook or Holtsville fought the battery storage there, and what they’re not getting is coming to Mount Sinai.”

Anker voiced common worries that residents had about the storage system facility.

“We just want to understand that what is going to happen is safe,” Anker said. “I don’t have a problem with renewable energy. We need the battery storage, we’re going to need that, but it’s the location,” she added, calling the proposed site the “worst intersection probably in Suffolk County.”

“Multiple accidents have happened there, the school district is close by, the water authority has a well right there, there’s a recreational path. There’s so many reasons we don’t need to change commercial to industrial,” she said.

Civic President Brad Arrington also discussed how LIPA, which owns an empty parcel of land next to the substation, could theoretically put a battery facility there without any input from the town government due to being immune from the local zoning authority.

“They could put a battery facility there which would carry the same risk that people are concerned about today, the difference being that when LIPA puts that in, they do not have to provide any community benefit, which is what has been proposed with this property,” Arrington said.

New Leaf is proposing an initial upfront payment of $340,000 — $85,000 per battery installation — with the allocation of this money to the school district, fire department and more not yet determined. The company also originally reserved $500 per megawatt, for a total of $10,000 annually, but raised it to $12,000 with a 2% annual increase to cover the current property taxes going to the school district.

Residents expressed concerns about what would happen if there was a fire at the facility, inquiring about the chemicals that would be emitted into the air and ground and how it would affect the surrounding area, including the school district and homes.

However, Arrington said the proposed facility would have lithium iron phosphate batteries, which “have a lower energy density, but have a far reduced rate of thermal runaway,” as opposed to the lithium NMC batteries that, while much more energy dense, are more prone to spontaneously catch on fire.

He also explained that a chain reaction would not take place, meaning that if thermal runaway does happen, it would be isolated in its own compartmentalized container.

Additionally, since the battery would have to burn itself out instead of being put out with water by the fire department, Arrington said that according to New Leaf, there wouldn’t be runoff into the ground. Also contamination with the soil and the off-gassing would be extremely limited.

Panico did not answer whether or not he supported the project, instead saying that he would review the application and talk to his colleagues, including Councilwoman Jane Bonner (R-Rocky Point), who represents the area.

Arrington said the town board would not take a vote to approve the project without input from the civic, which will hold a meeting for the civic members to vote in October.

By Bill Landon

Without a single senior listed on their roster Miller Place softball team, fresh off their Suffolk County championship victory, demonstrated that this Panther squad will be a powerhouse to be reckoned with for the foreseeable future.

After three-and-a-half scoreless innings against Nassau champions, Seaford, Ava Zicchinelli’s bat spoke first with an RBI double in the bottom of the fourth. Laney Vomero stepped into the batter’s box with the bases loaded, and drove in two more runs to put the Panthers ahead 3-0 at the end of four. 

Seaford capitalized in the top of the sixth inning on a Miller Place throwing error, plating two runners then drove in two more to take the lead 4-3.

After going 0-3 at bat, Miller Place junior Emily Lopez drove in a pair of runs in the bottom of the sixth to retake the lead at 5-4. With two outs, the Panthers plated two more runs on a Seaford error to surge ahead 7-4. Leading by three, Zicchinelli did what she’s done all season and kept Seaford on its heels for the final three outs to claim the first Long Island Class A championship title in Miller Place history.

The Panthers will now enter uncharted territory when they return to the Martha Avenue Recreation Park sports complex in North Bellport Friday, June 7, for the NYS semifinal round where they will face Pittsford Sutherland. First pitch is slated for 9 a.m.Tickets can be purchased at: nysphsaa.org/sports/softballtickets.

File photo by Raymond Janis

Child care is a necessity

I was delighted to read TBR’s article [“Early learning educators participate in National Day Without Child Care,” May 30] covering the National Day Without Child Care, a nationwide annual event bringing parents and early childhood educators together to advocate for a child care system that works for every family and pays early childhood educators the thriving wages they deserve. 

As the campaign manager for the Empire State Campaign for Child Care, we are advocating for universal child care in New York state, moving to make early childhood education a public good rather than the private burden it currently is for families. A fully-funded early childhood education system would provide children with the opportunities needed to develop and learn. It would give parents the ability to be a part of the workforce knowing that their children are cared for and safe, and it would fairly compensate early childhood educators, who currently earn less than 96% of the workforce in our state.

For many families across the country, child care is the second highest expense in their budget, right behind housing. Most New Yorkers live in what is known as “child care deserts,” where there is a wait list for every available child care slot, due to a lack of staffing. We cannot address the lack of child care availability without first improving recruiting and retaining child care educators with higher wages.

Child care is an educational and economic issue that requires bold and robust public investment. The data shows that this investment yields excellent educational and economic returns. It is why we have advocated for and will continue to call for New York state to enact universal child care, and support legislation that removes the barriers to access for families and compensates the child care workforce with the wages they deserve.

Shoshana Hershkowitz

Empire State Campaign for Child Care

Stony Brook’s Maurie McInnis

Very disappointing to note President Maurie McInnis’ bailing on Stony Brook University for Yale two weeks after Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie [D] advised Stony Brook’s graduating class that the university was “just as good as those Ivy schools like Princeton and Yale.” Best to select next time around a more committed administrator who doesn’t have designs on leading one of those “Ivy schools.” 

No matter how the spin her leaving after only four years — on 30 days’ notice no less — is not a positive for the university. Lesson learned for Stony Brook!

Kevin Seaman 

Stony Brook

Memorial Day note

Just before Memorial Day, I sent a “Thank you for your service” email to an old friend of mine. He served in Vietnam and shared point on patrol.

Sadly, like so many other vets who returned during that time, Kevin wasn’t shown the proper appreciation for his sacrifices. It got so bad some servicemen felt compelled to remove their uniforms on flights home, lest they be accosted or harassed upon arrival. He had simply joined tens of thousands of other young men drafted into military service to fight in what became an unpopular war. 

It was a “call to duty” and they answered. Kev continued answering that call stateside by being part of the solemn, oft-times heartbreaking “folded flag” ceremony.

Given that and so much more left unmentioned here, Kevin’s humbling, uplifting response to my note was, “Thank you. I served proudly for this great country.”

We’re blessed as a nation that he, along with millions of other patriots, have done the same. God bless them all.

Jim Soviero

East Setauke

Xena for village trustee

In the June 18 Village of Port Jefferson election, I am voting for Xena Ugrinsky for trustee. Xena has the expertise we need to solve one of our most complex problems: How to modernize the power plant and prevent a catastrophic loss of tax revenue for the village and our schools. She has extensive experience in the energy, finance and information technology sectors. 

As a trustee she can utilize her connections with National Grid and LIPA, also state and federal regulators, to make our voices heard before decisions are made. She will fight to bring clean energy to the power plant and preserve our tax base. We will be well served to have someone of Xena’s caliber as our next trustee. Vote for Xena on June 18.

Bruce Miller

Former Port Jefferson Village Trustee 

Former Port Jefferson Village School Board President

Public meeting on the bluff was neither proper nor truly ‘transparent’

When, as required by law, village Clerk Sylvia Pirillo failed to publicly notice the Town Hall meeting at Port Jefferson Country Club May 28 about the bluff, Mayor Lauren Sheprow first told some of the trustees they could not attend, notifying those with differing opinions to stay home. When that didn’t work, she told them they could attend but couldn’t speak, essentially gagging our elected officials. 

All elected trustees attended and sat at the dais, along with the village clerk and treasurer, constituting a quorum.

In a failed attempt to circumvent NYS Open Meetings Law, the trustees were told not to talk. Not a single trustee was allowed to give an opinion, ask a question or speak in any capacity.

 I know for a fact that at least two of the three trustees have contradictory opinions from the mayor, as they have publicly spoken about them during board meetings.

The community was told the purpose of this meeting was to hear all options. The mayor gave her opinions about the benefits of building the upper wall. She gave examples of private property walls that were built and “worked.” We heard why she wants to build the wall. She brought in two speakers, both of whom supported her opinion.

We heard from many residents in attendance. Most, regardless of being for or against the wall, were for a referendum on the project. But without balanced information, residents were left to create their own analysis.

We didn’t hear from experts. We didn’t hear alternatives or options, nor about a retreat plan nor costs associated with such. We didn’t hear from experts with opposing opinions. I know that at least one trustee had some of these alternative ideas and plans to discuss but was not “allowed” to.

Let’s hope the trustees, those we elected to represent us, get to speak and give us their opinions and thoughts on this project at some point.

There are two very concerning issues here. The first is that the NYS Open Meetings Law was blatantly violated. A quorum present and conducting business on the bluff violates that law. Second, the mayor’s dog and pony show displaying only her opinion and side of things under the guise of transparency and communication was in no way fair or balanced and was certainly anything but transparent. 

This meeting was a sham. Don’t be fooled by the mayor’s attempt to frame this as an open forum while controlling the entire discussion. We deserve better.

Kathianne Snaden

Port Jefferson

 

 

Suffolk County Legislator Rob Trotta. Photo courtesy Leg. Trotta

By Sabrina Artusa

The Suffolk County Economic Development, Planning & Housing Committee met May 29 to consider, among other business, a resolution designed to increase home ownership. 

Resolution 1355, proposed by county Legislator Rob Trotta (R-Fort Salonga) in early April, would obligate owners of developments with more than 20 units to designate at least half of them as owner-only units, either through condominiums or cooperatives. 

In an area with notoriously high property taxes some of the highest in the country many native Long Islanders are forced to rent due to lack of alternative affordable housing. Trotta hoped that this bill would help people build equity.

The lack of ownership opportunities “is killing the middle class,” Trotta said. Without the option to expand their economic standing through investment, people are forced “to pay $3,000 a month and get nothing in return.”

“Let the people own something, give them pride in ownership,” Trotta added. 

The bill further stipulated that a development with more than 20 rentable units will not receive workforce housing funding or be allowed to connect to a Suffolk County sewer district unless half of the units are owner only. 

Passage of Bill 1355 would allow Long Islanders to remain without the continuous financial stress of renting, Trotta said. 

“This Legislature finds and further determines that there has been a dramatic increase in the construction of multifamily rental units in Suffolk County,” the resolution read. 

At the May 29 meeting, the planning and housing committee voted against the bill.

“It is outside of the purview of what we should be doing here in the county and I believe that this is a free capital system. If people want to build apartments to rent, they should be able to do it. If they want to build them for sale, they should be able to do it,” said Presiding Officer Kevin McCaffrey (R-Lindenhurst).

“I don’t think this is very American, what we just did. I think some people should really think about switching parties who just voted to kill home ownership in Suffolk County,” Trotta said. 

This is not perhaps a perfect initiative but it is part of an ongoing effort, I believe, of how to keep our elders here … and to provide an opportunity through apartment housing to stay in our communities,” said Legislator Steve Englebright (D-Setauket), the only other proponent of the bill.

 

John Perkins and Mike Gugliotti, chief navigation officer and his ‘water Sherpa.’ Photo courtesy Maggie Fischer Memorial Swim

By Daniel Dunaief

What are you planning to do this Saturday?

John Perkins, Community Outreach Manager at St. Charles Hospital and St. Catherine of Siena Hospital and Islip Terrace resident, is planning to swim 12.5 miles around Key West. The swim isn’t just an exercise in rugged outdoor activities or a test of his endurance, but is a way to raise money to support St. Charles Hospital’s stroke support group and promote stroke awareness and prevention.

As of Tuesday morning Perkins, who is 56 years old, has raised $4,900 out of his goal of collecting $5,000.

“Stroke survivors can have challenges for the rest of their lives,” said Perkins. “My hundreds of hours of training and hundreds of miles I’ve swam over the last year is nothing in comparison to someone who has a stroke” and then has a gate impairment, a speech impediment or is visually impaired.

Perkins added that about 80 percent of the estimated 800,000 strokes in the United States are preventable, through efforts like managing high blood pressure and/or diabetes, increasing physical activity and eating a healthier diet.

Perkins hopes the money he raises can add a new piece of equipment in the emergency room or help with the stroke survivor and support group.

Challenging conditions, with help

Getting ready for this swim took considerable work, especially given that Perkins didn’t even know how to swim until he was 50.

That’s when a group of childhood friends called him up in 2017 and suggested he join them for a two mile swim in the Straight of Messina, between Sicily and Calabria.

He rose to the challenge and raised $1,200.

To prepare for this much longer swim, which he estimates could take eight hours of more, he has been getting up at 4 am and is in the pool by 5 a.m.

Three days during the week, he swims two miles before work, often surrounded by people who are training for grueling races like triathlons and ironman competitions. On weekends, he does longer swims. He has been increasing the distances he swims in the pool, recently covering 10 miles in six and a half hours.

When he’s doing these longer swims, he gets out of the pool every two miles to take a 30-second break, which could involve hydrating and a quick restroom stop.

“You can not be a marathon swimmer without considering the nutrition aspect,” he said.

When he’s swimming around Key West, he plans to bring a special blend of carbohydrates, with calcium and magnesium and some protein, making sure he consumes about 300 calories per hour.

In expending over 6,000 calories for the swim itself, he wants to ensure he doesn’t tire or get cramps.

When he swims around Key West, Perkins said his wife Pamela, who is a registered nurse and whom he calls his chief nutritionist, will be in a two-person kayak. She will signal to him every 20 minutes or so to take a break for some liquid nutrition.

Meanwhile, his chief navigation officer, Michael Gugliotti, whom he also refers to as his “water Sherpa,” will ensure that he stays the course, not straying from the checkpoints so that he doesn’t wind up adding any distance to the long swim.

When he’s swimming, Perkins tends to think about the struggles stroke survivors have that they have to deal with for the rest of their lives.

“Strokes impact your life, your community’s life, your family’s life,” he said.

People interested in donating can do so through the following link: St. Charles Host Your Own Fundraiser

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Want a social ice breaker with even the most reluctant neighbor? Get a dog!

People share quite a bit about themselves when they’re reaching down to pet a pooch who stares them in the eyes, wags his tail and appreciates their attention.

Thoughts, ideas, and pieces of themselves come pouring out in a range of categories.

Shaggy dog tales: Friends, neighbors and strangers in a park often offer vignettes about their own dogs. They talk about how much they enjoy having them in the house, how their beloved pets are eating the furniture, and how delighted they are to return to the house to find creatures who, unlike their teenage children, are genuinely happy to see them.

Would that they could: Even as they pet my eager dog, they sometimes share wistful thoughts about how they’d like to have their own dog. They travel too much, can’t get up early enough or have friends and family members who are allergic. Some are still in mourning for their late canine friends and can’t imagine getting another one.

Dog whisperers: Then, there are those people who know what your dog is feeling and thinking far better than you, despite the fact that you have lived with your dog for years? They direct their not so-subtle observations to the dog. “Oh, you adorable puppy, you look so hot. Are you hot? Do you need water? Do you need a bath? Do you need a better owner than this eavesdropping oaf at the other end of your leash?” Or, perhaps, “Are you walking too far for your short legs? Do you wish your owner would get more of his exercise at the gym and less of it taking you for these marathon walks?” “Are you hungry? Do you need a snack? Is your mean old owner trying to lose weight himself so he’s not feeding you enough?” Sometimes, of course, those people are right and my dog is hot, tired, or hungry. Then again, he’s a dog attached to a stomach, so he’s always hungry.

Feel free to unload while my dog does the same: While my dog relieves himself, people share considerable information about their lives. One woman told me, in eerie overtones with the show “Dear Evan Hansen,” how she and her ex-husband felt the need to intervene with a daughter battling mental health issues. Fortunately, the daughter and her parents are doing well.

The keep away owners: Some dog owners use their dog or dogs as shields, walking them at rapid paces on tight leashes, making it clear that they, and their dogs, have no interest in catching up. They are out getting some air or exercise and they have no need to give their dogs a chance to sniff each other, or to compare thoughts on anything from the weather to the best way to get rid of that not-so-fresh dog smell.

The couple competition: Even as dogs have non verbal cues as they approach each other, so, too, do humans. Some couples, who are walking next to each other, break apart, as one person is eager to be the first to pet the dog. Like Groucho Marx, my dog is more interested in joining the clubs that might not want him as much, and maneuvers around the extended hand to try to win over the more reluctant walker. The eager petter will whine, “what about me?” My dog either ignores him or gives that person the dog equivalent of an exasperated eye roll.

The dog watchers: Yes, I know it sounds conspiratorial, but they do exist. People sometimes sit in their homes, watching carefully to see if a dog leaves an unattended, unwanted dropping on their lawn. Eager to catch their neighbors in the act, they have cameras at the ready to document the offending moment.

The fact collectors: Some people seem more interested in learning details about my dog than they do in hearing about me. They ask me to remind them how old he is — one day older than when you asked yesterday — how much he weighs, where I got him, how he sleeps, and what games he likes to play. With them, it might be better to skip the “How are you doing?” and go straight to “How’s your dog’s day going?”

METRO photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

A number of my relatives and friends were born in June, so that means lots of birthdays to celebrate. My dad was born in June, and so was my brother. My granddaughter’s birth, the first child of my middle son and daughter-in-law, lit up the month of June for me. She was the first girl in a long familial string of boys. Then there is my West Coast cousin and several friends who all made their appearance on Earth in the same month.

I’m not good at buying presents or mailing cards, but I do try my best to remember the dates and to extend happy wishes. I adore celebrations and the digital age has helped in that regard. I send texts and emails, and if I don’t think it will cause too much grief hearing my atonal voice, I call the person and sing a heartfelt “Happy Birthday.” 

I learned of the entitlement of birthdays when I started elementary school. Feeling left out, I watched as classmates offered cupcakes and blew out candles that their mothers brought to class, while I rued the fact that I was a summer baby: no classmates, no groups  to sing to me.

Little did I know then that my dad’s family never celebrated his or his siblings’ birthdays. Perhaps it had something to do with there being nine children and that they were dirt poor.

My unfortunate mother never knew when she was born. Her mother, who could have told her, died when she was an infant, and I guess no one else really cared. All she knew was that it was sometime during harvest season. 

Well, I changed all that.

I came home from school one day, I guess about second grade, and professed outrage at never having a birthday party. My parents, innocently trying to eat dinner, seemed at first puzzled, then embarrassed at the oversight. They asked me what a party would entail, and I explained about the cake, the candles, the guests and the presents. And when it was time for my birthday, they made amends, that year and every subsequent year until I was married.

I appreciated their response, even going so far as to assign my mother a birthday in the midst of October, which I assumed was harvest time, and which we then celebrated annually—I believe to my mother’s delight.

Did you know that birthdays are a fairly recent consideration?

According to “The Atlantic,” only in the middle of the 19th century did some middle-class Americans celebrate birthdays, and not until the early 20th century, when my parents were born, did birthday celebrations start to be a nationwide tradition. The magazine ties together birthday observances with the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, during which the matter of time became more of a focus generally due to factory and labor hours.

The song, “Happy Birthday to You,” the most popular song in the English language according to the Guinness World Records, is only somewhat older than its 100th birthday.

Supposedly two American sisters, Patty and Mildred J. Hill, composed the melody in 1893, but that’s disputed.

As the 20th century unfolded, birthdays became a time to honor ordinary individuals, usually with cakes and candles, but in some circles, with fruit. It has also become a reason for families and friends to gather, both to appreciate one of its members and to reunite, however briefly. Birthdays ending in 0’s and 5’s are particularly special.

Today, birthdays are often regarded by those experiencing them as a time for evaluating their lives. Have they met their goals? How are they doing compared to their contemporaries? Do they look their age? Are they living the lives they desire? 

It’s a day to be pampered by one’s friends and loved ones and to pamper one’s self. Some people go on trips. Others buy themselves presents that perhaps they have always wanted. 

And some, at the end of their day, breath a sigh of relief, knowing that they don’t have to face another birthday for a whole year.