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Yearly Archives: 2016

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Jazz Loft’s Tom Manuel and Brookhaven Town Supervisor Ed Romaine get ready for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Photo by John Broven

By John Broven

Jazz past, present and future arrived with a blast at Stony Brook Village on Saturday, May 21, with the opening of a new home dedicated to the music: The Jazz Loft at 275 Christian Ave.

Jazz Loft’s Tom Manuel and Brookhaven Town Supervisor Ed Romaine get ready for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Photo by John Broven
Jazz Loft’s Tom Manuel and Brookhaven Town Supervisor Ed Romaine get ready for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Photo by John Broven

The celebrations commenced with an early afternoon street parade, New Orleans-style, prior to a ribbon cutting in which Councilwoman Valerie Cartright (D-Port Jefferson Station) presented Tom Manuel, the Jazz Loft’s founder and president, with a proclamation from the Town of Brookhaven.

Also in attendance were Assemblyman Steve Englebright (D-Setauket), Supervisor Ed Romaine (R) and Gloria Rocchio, president of The Ward Melville Heritage Organization, which owns the Loft’s historic building.

Soon the first notes were struck by the LIU Post Big Band performing Duke Ellington’s “Far East Suite” under the direction of Manuel to a standing-room-only crowd.

Visitors were able to view the Loft’s museum exhibits featuring greats such as saxophonist Louis Jordan, the biggest African-American star of the 1940s and a massive influence on the subsequent rock ’n’ roll era; heartthrob crooner Arthur Prysock; upright bassist Lloyd Trotman, a prolific session musician; society bandleader Lester Lanin; and the seafaring vibraphonist and composer Teddy Charles.

In the evening, the Jazz Loft Big Band concluded the day’s festivities backing up vocalist Lauren Kinhan, a member of the New York Voices, for a supper-club audience on a stage constructed from the dance floor of the famous Roseland Ballroom on 52nd Street in Manhattan.

From left, Assemblyman Engelbright, Supervisor Romaine, Tom Manuel (holding proclamation), Councilwoman Cartright and Gloria Rocchio. Photo from WMHO
From left, Assemblyman Engelbright, Supervisor Romaine, Tom Manuel (holding proclamation), Councilwoman Cartright and Gloria Rocchio. Photo from WMHO

“Our opening day was so moving to me,” Manuel, of St. James, said in a recent interview. “To parade through Stony Brook with 100 people in tow, a dozen classic cars honking those great vintage horns, cutting the ribbon — there just aren’t words to express my joy. It was a real highlight to have so many people there that helped make the Jazz Loft become a reality. It also was a real treat to look around the building and see some up-and-coming students in the same space as some of the jazz world’s greatest musicians.”

Manuel, an educator, musician and jazz historian, said the Jazz Loft is unfolding plans that “relate to our tri-fold mission of jazz preservation, education and performance. Our performance calendar for spring and summer brings to the Loft and Stony Brook Village some outstanding talent, recognized not just locally, but nationally and internationally. Our education calendar is about to be unveiled and includes some wonderful listening lectures and Jazz 101 classes presented by outstanding educators and performers.”

He added that the Loft is looking forward to displaying new acquisitions including memorabilia from jazz legends such as Dave Brubeck, Buck Clayton, Ruby Braff, Lloyd Trotman and others.

From today, June 2, the Jazz Loft will be open Thursdays through Saturdays, noon to 5 p.m. Admission is $10 adults, $7 seniors, $5 students, children under 12 free. For more information, including upcoming concerts and programs, visit www.thejazzloft.org or call 631-751-1895.

John Broven is a member of the editorial staff at Times Beacon Record Newspapers and the author of three books: “Rhythm and Blues in New Orleans” (recently republished), “South to Louisiana” and “Record Makers and Breakers.”

Musicians celebrate the opening of The Jazz Loft. Photo by John Broven
Musicians celebrate the opening of The Jazz Loft. Photo by John Broven

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File photo

A pedestrian was seriously injured in a hit-and-run late on Wednesday night and police are searching for the white sedan driver who is responsible.

The female victim was crossing Route 112 near Middle Country Road in Coram a little before midnight when she was hit by the northbound sedan, according to the Suffolk County Police Department. The woman was hurt but the car’s driver fled the scene, continuing north on Route 112.

Police did not identify the victim but said she was listed in serious condition at Stony Brook University Hospital.

Anyone with information about the crash or about the white sedan is asked to call police at 631-854-8652, or to call Crime Stoppers anonymously at 800-220-TIPS.

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Christopher Montalbano, left, and Gregory Montalbano, center, cut the ribbon on MIDI medical product development consulting firm’s Smithtown headquarters as Edward Dutton, right, looks on. Photo by Alex Petroski

A more than 40-year-old Long Island based company cut the ribbon on a brand new facility last Thursday.

The medical product development consulting firm MIDI officially opened a new headquarters and innovation center on Main Street in Smithtown in the Village of The Branch as a place to research and develop medical technology. MIDI has worked with clients such as Johnson & Johnson, GE Healthcare, Siemens and also will serve as a resource for Stony Brook University medical students in their new home.

“We strongly believe in creating growth opportunities for the medical and biotech industries on Long Island and in the greater New York area,” MIDI Principal and Huntington resident Gregory Montalbano said in a statement. He and his brother Christopher Montalbano are the principals of the Long Island-based firm which was started by their father Anthony in 1972. “Our new Innovation Center will foster new technology and product commercialization efforts for innovations obtained through academic research as well as for concepts developed by our local, national, and international commercial clients.”

The innovation center is equipped with a research, design and engineering studio, a prototyping lab and three-dimensional printing capability for the roughly 30 engineers, designers, software programmers and researchers. MIDI has supported the development of medical technologies over the years including the first commercial MRI scanner, surgical devices, a partial-body MRI, a three-dimensional dental scanner and countless others.

Gregory Montalbano suggested in an interview following the ribbon cutting ceremony Thursday that medical innovation could become a staple of Long Island industry in the coming years, replacing the manufacturing industry, which has slowly left Long Island, he said. Most similar facilities to MIDI’s innovation center are located on the west coast or in the Boston area, according to the firm, though the Montalbanos envision Long Island garnering that reputation in the future.

“Long Island is, in my opinion, becoming a very high-tech medical and bioscience hub,” he said. “In five to ten years, I feel that it will be very prevalent and people will be coming here in order to do that type of business and it’ll just grow from there.”

The look of other buildings along Main Street were taken into account in designing the innovation center, according to Kevin Harney, the principal of Stalco Construction, who served as the general contractor for the building.

“The architecture of the new $5 million, one-story building reflects the colonial feel of the historic Village of The Branch neighborhood, which dates back to the late 1600s,” Harney said in a statement. “The building’s façade features brick face, columns and other ornamental architectural elements prevalent in the landmark structures neighboring the new development.”

Chairman of the Planning Board of The Village of The Branch John Carro thanked MIDI and Stalco for maintaining that consistency.

“What’s very impressive, and we got a tour of the inside, is the high-tech inside of the building, but yet when you go to the outside, you see it matches the 1860s façade of all of the buildings along Middle Country Road here,” Carro said. “We appreciate that design and their working with the village in presenting their building in the proper manner.”

U.S. Rep. Lee Zeldin’s (R-Shirley) sent a spokesperson to convey his excitement in the opening of the new facility and the possibilities it presents in the field of medical research and development. State Assemblyman Michael Fitzpatrick (R-St. James) attended the event and expressed a similar sentiment.

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Timothy Flythe mugshot from SCPD

Police allege a teenager stole multiple all-terrain vehicles in Huntington Station.

Officers recovered several of the ATVs on Wednesday while responding to a call from someone who claimed to have observed his stolen vehicle on West Pulaski Road near New York Avenue that afternoon, the Suffolk County Police Department said. Detectives investigated and recovered five stolen ATVs, three of which were reported stolen in the Huntington area.

Of the remaining two vehicles, one was stolen from West Islip and the other from Nassau County.

According to police, a sixth ATV was impounded for further investigation. It was not clear where it came from.

Timothy Flythe, a 17-year-old Huntington Station resident, allegedly possessed the stolen property. Police charged him with criminal possession of stolen property — one count in the third degree and four counts in the fourth-degree.

Attorney information for Flythe was not available Thursday morning on the New York State court system’s online database.

Anyone with information on the case is asked to contact detectives at 631-854-8252.

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For many, summer is the most exciting part of the year, bringing warmer weather and fewer worries. However, as you gear up for a weekend at the beach or a barbecue at a friend’s house, it’s more important than ever to remember the safety precautions you were taught when you were young — lock it up.

The Times Beacon Record Newspapers’ police blotter typically has a fair share of theft incidents that are completely avoidable, with perpetrators stealing wallets and other valuables from unlocked cars and sheds, and sometimes even houses.

Although this may seem like a no-brainer, week after week, month after month, residents continue to lose cash and property left in unlocked places.

Police have said summer months are among their busiest, with spikes in criminal activity and arrests. But it’s not only serious crimes that see a bump — petit crimes become more frequent as opportunity presents itself, which is where we see residents losing out on cash, jewelry and other valuables that may not be properly fortified.

As we head into summer and start planning family trips and getaways, take time to secure against what could potentially impact your summer fun. Lock your front doors, sheds, garages and cars, and close and lock your windows when you’re leaving your house empty for prolonged periods. Make it that much easier to have a worry-free summer.

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PJ Village Trustee Bruce Miller says commuters to NYC have stayed away from the PJ line without electrification. Photo by Elana Glowatz

By Elana Glowatz

Two village trustees are unopposed for re-election this month, each with his own goals for improving Port Jefferson.

Bruce D’Abramo and Bruce Miller are seeking a fourth term and a second term on the village board of trustees, respectively.

Bruce Miller is running for re-election. Photo by Elana Glowatz
Bruce Miller is running for re-election. Photo by Elana Glowatz

Miller wants to keep up his work to get the Port Jefferson power plant upgraded, known as repowering. The aging power plant runs on outdated technology and many residents and officials fear the loss of its significant property tax revenue if it were to shut down without being rebuilt.

“It’s something that I’ve been doing for about 20 years,” he explained, between his work on the Port Jefferson school board and with the local group Grassroots Committee to Repower Port Jefferson. “I want to try to see this thing through. I think it’s very important to the community. I have other interests but I have I think significant expertise in this area and think that I can benefit the people of the village.”

Miller is also interested in environmental issues, and said he has been working with the village’s conservation committee on making the village more energy-efficient and on strengthening the power grid in Port Jefferson to better withstand storms. He is helping put together a proposal to receive grant funding for a microgrid, which would be independent of the regional grid and rely on its own power-generating resources — and thus keep the community, which includes two hospitals, going during power outages.

For those who may vote for him, Miller said he strives to “keep in mind [the idea of] a small maritime New England village.”

Bruce D’Abramo is running for re-election. Photo by Elana Glowatz
Bruce D’Abramo is running for re-election. Photo by Elana Glowatz

The other candidate, D’Abramo, is running for two more years because “I love what I’m doing in Port Jefferson and I love the difference that we’re making.”

He said his top priority in the past and in a new term is to “turn uptown port Jefferson around into a community that we can all be proud of.”

One thing he is particularly proud of accomplishing in his third term, however, is in the downtown area: the beautification of Old Mill Creek.

The polluted creek winds through the west side of lower Port, including under Barnum Avenue and behind Village Hall, before flowing into the harbor. In addition to being contaminated by chemicals that had been dumped at an industrial site in Port Jefferson Station and had traveled through the groundwater, it was plagued by invasive plant species. But in the last year, the village put a plan into action to clean up the creek, improve its flow and remove the invasive species and replace them with native ones.

Another project he is proud of is using money left over in last year’s budget to pave additional streets in the part of the village referred to as the “poets section,” which includes Emerson Street, Longfellow Lane, Hawthorne Street and others.

“Every time we can put some money into the infrastructure, we’re doing something that’s going to last for a while; that’s going to make a difference,” D’Abramo said.

To the voters going to the polls later this month, the trustee said, “If they’re interested in seeing upper Port Jefferson change, then consider voting for me.”

Voting is at the Port Jefferson Village Center on June 21, from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. There is also a village judge seat on the ballot, to complete the three years remaining on the term of Justice Peter Graham, who died in office in October, a few months after being re-elected. Graham, who was known for his colorful personality, had served the village for more than 30 years.

Bill Glass was appointed to replace him in the interim, and the lawyer is running for election to stay in that role. He faces challenges from Tara Higgins and Scott Zamek.

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Northport's Jake McCarthy fires the ball to first base for the out. Photo by Bill Landon
Northport's Nick Palmerini hurls a pitch from the mound. Photo by Bill Landon
Northport’s Nick Palmerini hurls a pitch from the mound. Photo by Bill Landon

By Bill Landon

Another strong pitching performance by Northport’s Nick Palmerini, leading to a 6-3 win Tuesday, helped the baseball team force a decisive game three for the Suffolk County Class AA title.

The Tigers got off to a rocky start, going down two runs in the opening inning, but battled their way back with a sacrifice fly to right field off the bat of junior outfielder Frankie Stola to plate senior shortstop Joe Stockman to trail by one. Northport missed an opportunity to tie the game, and stranded two runners to end the inning.

“We were really aggressive early in the count,” Stockman said after the win. “We struck out a lot in our last game, so we tried not to get too deep into the count, and we got some base hits when it really counted. Tomorrow we just have to come ready to play and we’ll just keep doing what we’ve been doing, getting bats on the ball.”

With runners on first and second, the Tigers went back to work in the bottom half of the second inning. This time, Stockman did the damage at the plate when he ripped the ball through the gap to bring senior pitcher and first baseman Dan Heller home to tie the game. With junior pitcher and shortstop Alex Reuter on third, junior second baseman George Sutherland stepped into the batter’s box. With two outs and a full count, Sutherland jumped on a fastball, drilling it to right field to score Reuter to give the Tigers their first lead of the game. Stola smoked an infield hit to the shortstop and wound up on first on a throwing error as Stockman crossed the plate to keep the rally alive.

Northport's Jake McCarthy fires the ball to first base for the out. Photo by Bill Landon
Northport’s Jake McCarthy fires the ball to first base for the out. Photo by Bill Landon

Junior third baseman Jake McCarthy’s bat spoke next. He drilled the ball deep into the outfield to bring Stola home safely for a 5-2 lead.

“I think we had more confidence after seeing a guy like [Ray] Weber throw [in Saturday’s loss] that prepared us for this game,” McCarthy said. “We were ready for some good pitching, and the home crowd really does affect the game. It really gets us pumped up.”

With one out, West Islip threatened in the top of the inning with a sacrifice fly to right field that put two runners in scoring position, but Palmerini did what he’s done all season and fanned the final batter.

Northport’s margin began to shrink in the top of the fourth when the Lions, with two outs and a runner on second base, drove the ball home to make it a two-run game.

The tension built as West Islip loaded the bases. If the pitching ace was nervous though, he didn’t show it. Palmerini painted the corners and pitched his way out of the jam, as the Lions went down swinging.

“I’ve got a good team behind me so I had to relax and throw strikes,” Palmerini said. “They’re a tough team and the change in our lineup made us wake up, so we changed our game a little bit. For tomorrows’ game, we have to mentally stay focused.”

Tigers player Dan Heller makes a grab at first base. Photo by Bill Landon
Tigers player Dan Heller makes a grab at first base. Photo by Bill Landon
George Sutherland takes a cut for Northport. Photo by Bill Landon
George Sutherland takes a cut for Northport. Photo by Bill Landon

McCarthy’s bat added an insurance run with a shot to dead center field that cleared the fence and then some, to give the game it’s final 6-3 score.

“It was a straight fastball first pitch, and I was expecting that,” McCarthy said.

West Islip stranded two runners in the top of the fifth, went three up and three down in sixth and although the Lions didn’t go down quietly in the final inning, Palmerini, nearing his maximum pitch count, struck out the last two batters for a complete game where he allowed just six hits and one walk while striking out 11.

“We tweaked the lineup today … because our leadoff guy’s been struggling a bit,” Northport head coach John De Martini said. “We were down 2-0 immediately, so we put the ball in play and they made some miscues, but we got some gutty pitching. I’m just so proud of these guys.”

Northport was scheduled to travel to West Islip for the decisive game three on Wednesday.

The Northport baseball team is all smiles after its game-two win over West Islip in the Suffolk County championship series. Photo by Bill Landon
The Northport baseball team is all smiles after its game-two win over West Islip in the Suffolk County championship series. Photo by Bill Landon
Dan Heller catches a pop-up for Northport for the out. Photo by Bill Landon
Dan Heller catches a pop-up for Northport for the out. Photo by Bill Landon
Northport's Frankie Stola gets under a fly out. Photo by Bill Landon
Northport’s Frankie Stola gets under a fly out. Photo by Bill Landon

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Vapors is located on Main Street in Port Jefferson. Photo by Elana Glowatz

Local governments are cracking down on smoking in all its forms by confining related businesses to certain locations.

Brookhaven Town recently restricted smoke shops and lounges and one village is looking to strengthen rules already in place for the establishments.

The action started in the fall, when the Port Jefferson Village Board of Trustees passed a law that effectively banned hookah shops, as well as tattoo parlors and adult entertainment. Residents and village officials had been vocal about what they perceived to be too many shops on Main Street selling hookahs — water pipes used for smoking flavored tobacco — and their related products. Many had complained that the businesses attract an undesirable type of person to the area and sell unhealthy items. Some also said they feared the shops would sell paraphernalia and dangerous substances to underage patrons.

The dissent propelled a law that now restricts future hookah shops, tattoo parlors and adult establishments like topless bars to the Light Industrial I-2 District zone. While the preexisting shops are not affected, the law effectively bans future shops because only two properties in the entire village are zoned light industrial — and both of those Columbia Street plots are already occupied.

Hookah City is located on Main Street in Port Jefferson. Photo by Elana Glowatz
Hookah City is located on Main Street in Port Jefferson. Photo by Elana Glowatz

Passing an outright ban would have been an illegal action.

Port Jefferson Village is now seeking to tighten its restrictions by folding into the law marijuana dispensaries and stores selling products linked to e-cigarettes and vaporizers. The village code proposal, which will come up for a public hearing on June 6, states that such establishments bring “well-documented negative secondary effects … such as increased crime, decreased property values and reduced shopping and commercial activities.” It also cites the health risks of e-cigarettes and the dangers of exposing children to the behavior.

“The expansion of the foregoing businesses has resulted in increased anti-social behavior involving minors,” it says.

Among the restrictions, the shops in the light industrial zone could not be within a certain distance of facilities such as community centers, churches or schools.

The Town of Brookhaven got on the same train recently when its town board passed a law on May 12 that restricts indoor smoking establishments — businesses in which tobacco in any form, including through e-cigarettes and vaporizers, or other substances are smoked indoors. New shops can now no longer open within certain distances of residential areas, schools, churches, parks or other family- or child-oriented places. They also cannot open within 1 mile of one another.

Councilwoman Jane Bonner (C-Rocky Point), who came up with the idea, touted it as a measure to prevent kids from using drugs.

“You cannot believe how creative addicts and users are when it comes to situations like this,” she said, “what they can do and how they can manipulate this apparatus.”

Some have used hookahs, vaporizers and other tobacco devices to smoke marijuana, among other substances.

“This legislation came to pass because of what we see, what’s happening in our communities all over the place,” Bonner said. “This is a very important first step and we may take further steps as we see how this works out.”

Both the town and village laws have had their critics. In Port Jefferson, Trustee Bruce D’Abramo and other residents did not want the village interfering with the free market, which would determine how many smoke shops one neighborhood could sustain, and did not want the village policing people’s heath. They compared the smoke shops to the numerous bars in downtown Port Jefferson.

And Alex Patel, who works at Rocky Point Smoke & Vape Shop, said the town law might have little payoff because parents buy devices for their kids or the kids shop online — those under 21 may still get what they are looking for.

“Online, I see people buying left and right,” Patel said about vaporizers and similar devices. “It’s much cheaper online because they’re buying in bulk.”

But the town law also had community support: “When I think of these [smoking] lounges I think of heroin dens, something I read about and saw movies about when I was a child and scared the heck out of me,” Jeff Kagan, of the Affiliated Brookhaven Civic Organization, said May 12. “I believe that we don’t really know what these dens are all about or what’s really going to go on in these facilities. We don’t know the long-term impact.”

Alex Petroski contributed reporting.

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Kayla Kosubinsky races to the ground ball. Photo by Desirée Keegan

The Smithtown West girls’ lacrosse team walked onto the Dowling Sports Complex field Tuesday donning shirts that said “one team, one fight.”

Although senior midfielder Natalia Lynch stole the show by scoring six goals, it’s what her team had been through all season that made the season special.

Natalia Lynch grabs possession off the draw. Photo by Desirée Keegan
Natalia Lynch grabs possession off the draw. Photo by Desirée Keegan

The Bulls never made it to the Suffolk County finals, and although they were the No. 1 seed with a near perfect record, they were overlooked. Smithtown West battled a tough No. 3-seed West Islip team — the only opponent the Bulls lost to in the regular season — and remained neck-and-neck to the end, when the more experienced team battled back to come out on top, 9-8.

“It was amazing — they played phenomenal all season,” Smithtown West head coach Carie Bodo said of the run her girls had. “We played them much better than we did the first time we beat them. We knew, as much as we were the No. 1 seed, that we were the underdogs because they’ve already been here four years in a row. They know how to play this game.”

Lynch tallied a hat trick in the first half with her second goal off an assist from her best friend and longtime teammate Mackenzie Heldberg.

Jessica English defends against a West Islip attack. Photo by Desirée Keegan
Jessica English defends against a West Islip attack. Photo by Desirée Keegan

“It’s been unreal since first grade, playing with someone as amazing as she is — it definitely made the game easier,” Heldberg said of Lynch. “We just had a special connection on the field that not everyone else has and she’s made me so successful and brings out the best lacrosse player in me.”

Also scoring for the Bulls in the first half were junior midfielder Kayla Kosubinsky and junior attack Chelsea Witteck. Senior converted-goalkeeper Marissa D’Amico made big stops between the pipes to keep the score 5-5 at the end of the first half.

“We did what we thought we needed to do,” Bodo said. “We covered certain people. We knew that if we played them tight, they’d be forced to make tough shots and miss the cage because we swarm them so good, so the defense did an amazing job. We had opportunities at the end to come up with the goal, but we just didn’t come up with it.”

Lynch gained possession off the draw, like she had done all night, to open the second half, and after passing it to Heldberg, received a feed from her friend in front of the cage and dumped in her fourth goal of the game.

Chelsea Witteck leads the team in celebration of her goal. Photo by Desirée Keegan
Chelsea Witteck leads the team in celebration of her goal. Photo by Desirée Keegan

D’Amico made back-to-back saves after a West Islip goal to maintain the stalemate, and on a diving play, Lynch fired her fifth goal of the game. She won possession off the next draw, but wouldn’t impact the play again after being sidelined for two minutes, with 2:21 left to play.

“She played an amazing game,” Bodo said of Lynch. “It was a killer, she got that penalty at the end. She played a great game.”

Witteck netted her second goal of the game off an assist from Heldberg, for the only other score of the second half, to put the team up 8-6 with 7:03 left in the game, but West Islip rallied back with three unanswered goals for the 9-8 lead with 1:24 left to play. The Lions raced up and down the field until time expired to seal the victory.

“I’m super proud of them,” Bodo said of her team. “For us it was a win. We were ranked No. 3 in the preseason and Newsday didn’t even rank us, MSG Varsity doesn’t ever give us anything, so no one thought we would do anything. For us, we did it for ourselves. We didn’t do it for Newsday’s publicity or MSG Varsity’s publicity; we worked hard all season to prove it to ourselves.”

The players said they were proud of how far they’ve come.

Mackenzie Heldberg charges toward the cage. Photo by Desirée Keegan
Mackenzie Heldberg charges toward the cage. Photo by Desirée Keegan

“The loss hurt a lot, but for a team who never got much credit for anything we did — just making it to counties and playing a hell of a game against a team as talented as West Islip, there is nothing to hold our heads down for,” Heldberg said. “Coming here and experiencing this for the first time in Smithtown West girls lacrosse history was truly something amazing and something to be proud of.”

Although she, Lynch and D’Amico, along with three other senior nonstarters will be leaving the team, Bodo is excited for the future now that the Bulls are starting to move in the right direction and continues to make playoff strides each season. Kosubinsky said that after all of the doubt, Smithtown West lacrosse showed what it’s really made of.

“I know I’ve never seen Smithtown West girls lacrosse play with so much heart, and even with a loss, I’ve never been so proud of my team,” Kosubinsky said. “We had an amazing season and every single person contributed to that. Tonight we walked off the field with our heads held high because we know we played our hearts out.”

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It has been more than a quarter of a century since I was married, but nonetheless I read, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person,” a front-page piece in the Sunday Review section of The New York Times this week, with great interest. Before my husband died, I had been married just shy of 25 years, so I figured I had a dual perspective on the issue.

I was not surprised to learn that the article had one of the highest “hits” in the entire Sunday paper, from those who read online. Marriage is a fascinating subject, both for those who are, those who never were — and those who are no longer. There is some magic in the whole process of falling in love and of deciding that this is the person one wants to spend the rest of one’s life with. By the same token, that was not always the primary criterion for marriage: financial security, international alliances, duty — these are but some of the other motivators. My grandfather, for example, was widowed at a young age when my grandmother died in a wagon accident at the turn of the last century, leaving him with three young children. The family expected him to marry his wife’s younger unmarried sister, which he obediently did, to keep the clan intact and provide loving care for the children, who were after all her nieces and nephew. There are countless instances of royals who were married off to other royals in order to cement strategic alliances — between countries, between tribes, between sects.

Marrying for love is a fairly recent and novel idea that is even today not always practiced around the globe. Marriages can be and still are “arranged.”

But this article last Sunday dealt only with a marriage that is made by mutual choice of the couple involved. So what are the problems the couple will face? Alain de Botton, the author, attempted to list them. “We seem normal only to those who don’t know us very well,” is definitely one of his better lines. He continued, “In a wiser, more self-aware society than our own, a standard question on any early dinner date would be: ‘And how are you crazy?’” He doesn’t say this, but when one buys a house or a car, one asks,”What are the problems here?” Certainly the choice of spouse is far more critical, and all liabilities and drawbacks should honorably be revealed.

Even in today’s lenient “shacking up openly” culture, something new by the way with only the past couple of generations, couples may not know all that they should about one another. “One of the privileges of being on our own is therefore the sincere impression that we are really quite easy to live with,” the author said.

“Marriage ends up as a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully avoided investigating,” de Botton asserted. He certainly hit the nail on the head for at least my generation. We all became engaged as casually as picking a partner with whom to go to the prom. We dated for two months, two years, whatever the case, but always on our best behavior and in settings like concerts and parks that surrounded us with beauty. Perhaps today’s greater intimacy lessens the surprises.

The author makes a key point: That what we seek in marriage is supposedly happiness but in fact is familiarity. We seek to recreate relationships we experienced or yearned for that were out of reach in our childhoods. Those are not the relationships most conducive to happiness.

Also people who feel terribly lonely, who find the thought of being alone throughout their lives terrifying, “risk loving no longer being single rather more than we love the partner who spared us that fate.”

And then there is custom. Everyone married when they finished their schooling, or shortly thereafter, it seemed to us of a certain age. Indeed, my mother told me on my wedding day that I had barely managed to avoid being “an old maid.” I had just turned 22.

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