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Village Chabad

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Approximately 200 people celebrated the first night of Hanukkah at Village Chabad in East Setauket.

When addressing the attendees, Rabbi Motti Grossbaum talked about the inspiring message of the holiday where even one flame of light can dispel an immense amount of darkness.

“Just like on the menorah itself, every day we must increase on the good we did yesterday and ultimately good will always prevail,” he said.

Setauket Fire Department volunteers were on hand to help with the lighting. Attendees enjoyed a Chocolate Coin “Gelt Drop,” when 2,000 coins were tossed from the top of an extended fire truck bucket up in the air. There were also traditional jelly donuts, hot latkes and hot cocoa for all. Jester Jim performed a juggling show under the Menorah’s glow to conclude the program.

The rabbi invited everyone in attendance to help break a record on the night of Saturday, Dec. 24, for 1,000 Jewish homes in Suffolk and Nassau counties to light menorahs simultaneously on Zoom from the comfort of their own homes. To register, visit Menorah1000.com.

Photos by Gail DeClue

The Village Chabad once again welcomed community members to its Jewish Summer Festival on July 10. The event took place for the first time since 2018 on the Chabad’s property on Nicolls Road in East Setauket.

In 2019, the Chabad held its grand opening celebration for its new building in place of the summer festival, which was held at West Meadow Beach in previous years. The last two years, the festival was unable to be held due to the pandemic.

Approximately 250 people attended this year, according to Rabbi Motti Grossbaum.

Attendees enjoyed a barbecue and activities, which included face painting and giveaways. Tali Yess provided the music, and The Red Trouser Show, from New Hampshire, also performed stunts for everyone.

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On Sunday, Nov. 28, members of the Village Chabad kicked off the Festival of Lights with a joyous celebration.

Rabbi Motti Grossbaum said more than 250 attendees attended the menorah lighting on the first night of Hanukkah at the Village Chabad’s center in East Setauket. In addition to lighting the first candle of the 20-foot menorah with help from landscaping company Clovis Outdoor Service’s  bucket truck, there was a juggling show by Jester Jim, a chocolate gelt drop as well as latkes, doughnuts and hot chocolate being served.

Village Chabad has erected public menorahs in the Three Village community for 35 years, including at the Smith Haven Mall and on the lawn of Stony Brookside Bed & Bike Inn, as well as setting up menorahs in local supermarkets and additional public intersections in the area, according to Grossbaum.

At the event, the rabbi encouraged everyone to go home and light their own menorah.

“We should put our menorahs by the window, and if people ask you, say, ‘Yes, I am Jewish, and tonight we are celebrating Hanukkah. I would love to tell you more about it. I would love to give you a latke or a doughnut, and Hanukkah is so much fun,’” he said. “So, tonight is about our rededication. It’s about our education and our commitment to our Jewish pride tonight, for the next eight nights and throughout the year.” 

Last year the Chabad was unable to hold a formal gathering due to COVID-19 restrictions.

“It was incredibly encouraging and inspiring to come together safely as a community, young and old, after the challenging time we’ve all been through,” Grossbaum said after the event. “It is clear that the message of Hanukkah is alive today as it ever was … that light, goodness, kindness, unity and hope will always prevail.”

Photo from Investors Bank

TIME TO PLAY

Village Chabad Center for Jewish Learning of Stony Brook was awarded a $25,000 check from Investors Bank in Setauket on Nov. 5 for the organization’s new preschool playground. “This project has been proudly supported by a grant from Investors Foundation,” said Hope Kinney, Branch Manager of Investor’s Bank, pictured in center with Village Chabad co-directors Rabbi Chaim and Rivkie Grossbaum.

Rabbi Motti Grossbaum. Photo courtesy of The Stony Brookside Bed & Bike Inn

By Rabbi Motti Grossbaum

As we kindle the Menorah’s lights, we pay tribute to the heroes of long ago. The courage of the Maccabees (the small band of Jewish fighters who led the revolt against the Syrian Greek religious oppressors) and their refusal to surrender in the face of terrible and overwhelming odds blazed a trail for the survival of the Jewish people and the freedom to practice our faith.

As the Chanukah story goes, the Maccabees came into the desecrated Holy Temple but they could not find any pure oil with which to light the menorah. All the oil had been defiled by the Greeks. Miraculously, they found one small jug of pure, holy, undefiled oil, enough to illuminate the temple for one night. But as we all know; a miracle took place. The tiny jug of oil lasted for 8 nights.

Friends — every single one of us is a candle. We all have a jug of oil deep inside, which is our divine soul — a spark of G-d. We may at times feel that our oil is defiled — we are uninspired. But deep down, every one of us has a small jug of untouched pure oil that, when lit, can outshine any darkness inside and out.

So the question is asked, why is it that lighting candles is such a big part of Judaism?

Candles are lit by Jewish women every Friday at sunset for Shabbat, we light candles on every festival, and Chanukah is all about candles. What is the connection between candles and spirituality?

Jewish tradition teaches that there is something about a flame that makes it more spiritual than physical. A physical substance, when spread, becomes thin. Spirituality, when spread, expands and grows. When you use something physical, it is diminished. The more money you spend, the less you have; the more gasoline you use, the emptier your tank becomes; the more food you eat, the more you need to restock your pantry (and unfortunately, the heavier you become).

But spiritual things increase with use. If I use my wisdom to teach, the student learns, and I come out wiser for it; if I share my love with another, I become more loving, not less. When you give a spiritual gift, the recipient gains, and you lose nothing. This is the spiritual property that candles share. When you use one candle to light another, the original candle remains bright. Its light is not diminished by being shared; on the contrary, the two candles together enhance each other’s brightness and increase light.

We sometimes worry that we may stretch ourselves too thin. In matters of spirit, this is never the case. The more goodness we spread,  the more goodness we have. By making a new friend you become a better friend to your old friends. By having another child you open a new corridor of love in your heart that your other children benefit from too. By teaching more students, you become wiser.

My spiritual mentor and teacher, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory, taught us that when we kindle the Chanukah flames, we should “listen closely and carefully” to what the candles are telling us. And this is what they are saying: Keep lighting your candles. There is an endless supply of light in your soul. You will never run out of goodness.

The Chanukah story happened so long ago – yet carries a timely message for us, even today.

Science has given us the greatest technologies and conveniences, yet it alone cannot free us from the moral and social challenges of our day. From gun violence and simmering racial tension, to corruption in politics, material pursuits alone do not lead to a happy and meaningful life.

Our children need a better diet than the value-system fed to them by Hollywood, the internet and mass media. They need, no, they want, inspiration, a noble cause to live for, a moral purpose that frames their pursuits and interests with meaning and direction.

Like the flames of the menorah, with a desire to make an impact and illuminate, and an ever-persistent desire to reach higher, we too can do the same, and be a beacon of light to all.

Rabbi Motti Grossbaum is director of programming and development at Village Chabad Center for Jewish Life & Learning in East Setauket.

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Playgrounds like the one above at Village Chabad preschool in East Setauket will play an important part in preschoolers’ days during the pandemic. Photo from Village Chabad

Students in the Three Village Central School District buildings aren’t the only ones that are dealing with a whole new world when it comes to attending school, children in daycares and preschools are also navigating new waters.

Preschools and daycare centers are taking new precautions which include teachers wearing masks, taking students’ temperatures, utilizing outdoor space more frequently, meeting parents outside and more. And while frequent handwashing and cleaning have been common practices in preschools in the past, now bleaching and more thorough cleaning of regularly touched spots such as doorknobs is required.

Mary Cain, executive director of Stony Brook Child Care Services, said the center closed down temporarily March 16 but then opened up shortly after to provide daycare for essential health care workers at Stony Brook University Hospital. The daycare and preschool had less children the last few months due to non-essential employees working from home.

During the early months of the pandemic, the center took care of 47 children of essential workers. With eight classrooms in total — four for infants and toddlers and the other four for preschoolers — only five were used. Earlier guidelines allowed 10 children to a room. Cain said the center took things a step further by limiting it to 10 people in the room, which included students and employees. With a maximum capacity of 160 before the pandemic, currently the childcare service has 90 enrolled, and Cain said it could go up to 120 eventually.

For children who didn’t attend, teachers would touch base with them and their parents via Zoom, and with some returning, the director said these children still recognize teachers even when they are using masks.

Teachers were concerned infants wouldn’t be able to handle their teachers wearing masks since they so often rely on facial expression, Cain said, but so far, the coverings haven’t hindered interactions.

The director added that teachers have been able to have conversations with preschoolers about physical space and the importance of distancing.

“They know there’s something going on out there in the world,” she said. “They don’t seem to be too concerned with it.”

Each classroom at Stony Brook Child Care has its own play yard so classes can go outside whenever the teacher feels it’s appropriate instead of waiting to take turns, which she said is also a big help. Cain said she’s surprised with how smoothly things have gone.

“With knowing every day there was new information and new guidelines, I didn’t think it would go as smoothly as it has,” she said.

Rivkie Grossbaum, preschool director at Village Chabad Center for Jewish Learning in East Setauket, said she is grateful that for the past year the school has more space than it did in its earlier days to help with social distancing. The preschool was established more than 30 years ago, and Grossbaum worked out of her house for one year and then from the Chabad’s Lake Grove location, which was smaller than the current space. The Chabad’s new location opened in June 2019 on Nicolls Road.

In addition to utilizing the indoor space, the preschool recently installed a new playground dedicated by Investors Bank. The director said it will enable even more outdoor play, which she said is important during these times, and each child will have separate bins so teachers can divide supplies such as crayons and clay.

While the preschool closed back in March, Grossbaum said she is happy that they’ve been able to reopen as she believes the relationships formed during preschool are important, and the staff is ready to help community members of all faiths.

“We may have more children if other schools don’t have early childhood programs,” she said. “We are willing to help in any way.”

Maddy Friedman, educational director of Play Groups School in East Setauket, said students were excited to return to school Sept. 14. Before the first day, teachers sent videos to their students to show them how they look with and without masks. While preschoolers are not required to wear masks, Friedman said if parents want their child to wear one, teachers will leave it on as it’s important to respect families’ wishes, “because we really don’t know the answers.”

Friedman said like other preschools, Play Group is also incorporating more programs outside on its half-acre of land which allows for socially distanced play. Friedman said teachers have used outdoor learning regularly in the past, and there are distinct areas to view birds and read books. There is even a stage and garden cupola.

The educational director said when schools first closed down due to the pandemic, she was hopeful that the shutdowns wouldn’t last long, and she never imagined the school being closed for months with teachers using remote learning tools such as Zoom and Facetime. Despite her being proud of her staff in “expertly” using the digital platforms as well as keeping in touch with families via traditional snail mail, she said she doesn’t feel it’s the best way to teach. Friedman said she was desperate to see schools open because she said it’s important for children to be with others their own age and have a “sense of classroom community.”

She added that children lost out on a lot with virtual learning, including end of the year activities such as taking a train trip into Port Jefferson and going to Theatre Three.

“I think it was a loss for the children,” Friedman said. “They adapted, but I wouldn’t look to do it permanently. However, it filled the gap and kept us connected to the community.”

Rabbi Chaim Grossbaum sounds the Shofar, a hollowed-out ram's horn used to usher in Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Photo from Village Chabad

By Rabbi Chaim Grossbaum

Can we cancel 2020? Like simply skipping directly to 2021? Will anyone be upset about it?

I have seen many funny memes about 2020. But one particular meme got me to laugh pretty hard. It’s actually not about 2020 but about the current Jewish calendar year we are about to close, 5780.

“They say our actions on the High Holidays determine what will be decreed for the upcoming year. So whatever the heck you guys did last year, please don’t do it again!”

LOL.

After LOL’ing, it got me thinking about “cancelling 2020” and “cancelling 5780.” And then, a quote came to mind. A quote that is simply so perfect for our situation.

The quote is from Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe. He was imprisoned and tortured in Soviet Russia because of his work to spread Judaism behind the Iron Curtain.

After he was released from prison, his disciples asked him how he felt about it. He replied, “If I would be offered millions to experience one more moment of suffering – I wouldn’t buy. And if anyone would want to pay me millions to take away one moment of my suffering – I wouldn’t sell!”

The Rebbe didn’t elaborate further, but I think that the message is simple. Challenges are difficult, but they can also uplift you. One should never choose to experience challenges, but in hindsight we can appreciate how it made us better.

So I don’t want to cancel 5780.

Not the moments that forced me to take a step back from the hustle of life.

Not the moments that reminded me what’s important and what’s less important.

Not the new appreciation of what is essential, and what is not truly essential.

Not the beauty I saw all around me, when the entire country simply rallied to help one another.

Not the feeling of closeness to G-d when I prayed from the bottom of my heart that things should get better already.

Not the time spent with my family with very little distraction.

Do I want more of it? Not even if you pay me millions. But I do know that 5780 had many gifts. Hidden, but gifts nonetheless.

Onward and upward!

May we all be blessed with a Shana Tova U’metuka. A happy, healthy and sweet new year up ahead for ourselves and our loved ones.

Rabbi Chaim Grossbaum is the senior rabbi and spiritual leader at the Village Chabad Center for Jewish life & Learning in East Setauket. Visit EnjoyHighHolidays.com for a schedule of COVID-safe outdoor holidays at Village Chabad. Masks, social distancing, and preregistration is required. To RSVP for a “60 Minute Power Hour” Rosh Hashanah service and Shofar blowing on Sept. 20, visit MyVillageChabad.com/HHPowerHour.

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In previous years, events such as the Memorial Day Parade and the Jewish Summer Festival at West Meadow Beach, above, filled up the days of Three Village residents. File photo by Seth Berman/Rapid Shutter Photograph

Starting with the annual Memorial Day Parade down Main Street and Route 25A, the Three Village area is normally filled with activities all summer long. While many annual favorites were canceled this year due to the coronavirus, some event organizers are striving to stay connected with residents.

In previous years, events such as the Memorial Day Parade, above, and the Jewish Summer Festival at West Meadow Beach filled up the days of Three Village residents. File photo by Rita J. Egan

Jay Veronko, post commander of Veterans of Foreign Wars East Setauket Post 3054, said the Memorial Day Parade is usually the group’s biggest event that they host each year. This year’s parade was canceled due to COVID-19.

“I’m not sure of when the last time it was canceled for reasons other than severe weather,” he said.

Veronko said the event means more than simply memorializing former local soldiers who lost their lives in combat overseas or honoring living veterans.

“The parade also serves as a source of local pride in our way of life — the community getting together and coming out and celebrating life and the beginning of summer, as well as getting many diverse groups together to march and let the community know about them and what they stand for or do,” he said. “For the fire departments, it’s a way for the community to cheer them on for doing a great volunteer job and for the departments to display their pride and commitment to serving the community they protect.”

The post commander said many older post members are hesitant to socialize due to fear of getting COVID-19 and are not visiting the post for social interaction, something he said may not be good for physical and emotional well-being. Veronko said while the future may not be clear, the post doors and the members are there for each other.

“The VFW of Setauket will be there for the veterans who need help or want to gather in the comradeship of arms,” he said.

Gloria Rocchio, president of The Ward Melville Heritage Organization, said there have been no in-person events at the Educational & Cultural Center since the mandatory shutdowns. While events currently can be held inside with 50 people or less, WMHO, like many organizations, had to furlough a few employees, and they currently would not have enough people to work on events even if they could be held as usual. The Discovery Wetlands Cruise, which takes participants on a trip through West Meadow Creek, has been suspended for 2020, and the WMHO also decided not to hold its summer music series this year.

While it’s still a couple of months away, the organization has already canceled Walk for Beauty, which is normally held every October to raise money for breast cancer research. Rocchio said many expressed concerns about those who are battling cancer, who may be immunocompromised, attending such an event. As for the future, she said they are waiting for the updates to state guidelines.

Despite the cancellations, the WMHO president said residents have not forgotten the Stony Brook Village Center.

“We get people on the Village Green at night,” she said. “They sit there with their families usually, some might be two people, some are four people. They do social distancing, and they bring food, some even play ball at the lower part. They feel it’s a nice place to watch the sunset.”

She said residents have also noticed people taking advantage of the view more so than in previous years. To continue connecting with the community, WMHO is also offering virtual classes from the wetlands.

“We’re trying to reinvent ourselves,” Rocchio said.

Lise Hintze, Bates House manager at Frank Melville Memorial Park, said many of their usual events, including their outdoor concerts, had to be canceled this summer, but other activities have been able to take place again. She said the size of the park allows for proper social distance for various classes such as yoga, meditation and tai chi where participants have been wearing masks.

“We can continue with our community and come together, because we have the Bates House and parks grounds that are perfect for what they need with those classes,” Hintze said.

Missing this year will also be the Jewish Summer Festival at West Meadow Beach, which Village Chabad in East Setauket hosts in August. The event also didn’t take place last year due to the grand opening of its new center in June 2020. Despite the lack of in-person events, Rabbi Motti Grossbaum said the center has been trying to maintain a sense of community and connection with virtual classes and events. He said while many have said they appreciate the virtual options, the Chabad staff is looking forward to seeing everyone in person in the future.

“There’s nothing that can replace face-to-face and in-person connections,” Grossbaum said. “A community is all about interaction, sharing, schmoozing, kids playing and enjoying friendships in real life.”

Members of Village Chabad in East Setauket and Lubavitch of the East End organized a car parade to thank the health care workers at Stony Brook University Hospital May 12. Dozens of cars were led past Stony Brook Children’s Hospital and the main building by a Setauket Fire Department truck and SBU police. The group was even joined by a music truck for entertainment.

Palms left by the door of All Souls Episcopal Church in Stony Brook. Photo from All Souls Episcopal

Since the middle of March, houses of worship have had to find other ways to stay connected with their congregations during the COVID-19 pandemic. We asked local clergy members how alternative methods have been working and what is on the minds of their congregants.

Setauket United Methodist Church

The Rev. Steven Kim, of Setauket United Methodist Church, is just one pastor who is using modern technology. He said COVID-19 can make connectivity or interaction difficult.

“A church is not an exception,” he said. “Since the pandemic broke out, our ministry has been focused on helping the parishioners feel connected with their church family. Technology is a key player in pursuing this goal. It has enabled us to continue worshiping, keep meetings, continue our bible study and have prayer gatherings all online.”

Kim said the church is also trying to serve the community through prayer and other supportive ways. Church members have sent encouragement cards to medical crews, first responders and police officers in the community and delivered pizza to the medical crew at the intensive care unit at Stony Brook University Hospital. 

“The current crisis challenges us to deepen our understanding of a faith community which is rooted in our society,” Kim said.

Setauket Presbyterian Church

The Rev. Kate Jones Calone, interim pastor at Setauket Church, said the congregation at Setauket Presbyterian Church reflected on the theme of “wilderness” during the season of Lent.

“After the impact of the coronavirus became more real for us locally, our wrestling as a faith community with what it means to be in the “wilderness” obviously took on new meaning,” Jones Calone said. “We’ve been contemplating questions like: how do the various stories involving wilderness in scripture guide and challenge and sustain us during this time? Where are God and grace present in the wilderness? What does our church/community/world look like on the other side of a wilderness experience?”

Jones Calone said the experience reminds them that “the church is not a building but a community of people who share deep connection through their faith in a God of love.” Church members love one another and their neighbors by staying home, worshipping and meeting virtually, and comforting those who are sick, hurting, grieving and serving. The congregation also created an Emergency Assistance Fund to help those in need.

“This crisis has further exposed deep societal inequities around economic disparity, poverty, race and health care, and makes systemic transformation even more urgent,” she said.

All Souls Episcopal Church, Stony Brook

Daniel Kerr, a senior warden with All Souls Episcopal Church in Stony Brook, has been leading Sunday morning virtual prayers at 8 and 9:30 a.m. on the church’s website. He said All Souls also held virtual Good Friday, Easter Vigils and Easter morning services. The live, interactive, virtual services have featured the few who can participate taking turns reading from the scripture and leading the prayers.

“Believe it or not, we have had more folks attending the virtual services than we normally get on Sundays in ‘normal times,’” Kerr said.

He added that many who usually attend the church’s concerts, poetry readings and Shamanic Drumming events have also been tuning in to the virtual services, as well as people from New Hampshire, Florida and the Carolinas.

On Palm Sunday, he said the palms normally distributed at the Mass were left on the church’s porch with a sign encouraging people to take them. Kerr said all of the palms were taken by the following Tuesday morning.

Kerr added that at the end of the services, participants are asked to share their reflections on how they are doing during this time.

“Quite often they say these services have helped them feel connected to the extended All Souls community and less isolated and alone in their homes during social distancing,” Kerr said.

Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at Stony Brook

Linda Anderson, a minister affiliated with the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at Stony Brook, who also works with the South Nassau Unitarian Universalist congregation, said during this time she has needed to find new ways to serve congregants. In addition to calling, texting and sending emails to members, worship services as well as other meetings have been made available online.

Anderson said many have lost people in their lives, or fear they will, and have thought about their own deaths. 

“I hear the sadness that death brings,” she said. “The stress of grief affects our bodies in that we might feel more tired, have chest pains, upset stomachs, headaches. The stress of grief can make it hard for us to focus or make decisions. Our emotions can be all over the place, ranging from numbness to anger, from sorrow to relief.”

For those who fear their own deaths, she said it’s important to talk about their lives such as what they are proud of, what regrets they may have, what they think their legacy is and more. 

“It is a relief for folks to talk about these things out loud because they sure are thinking about them,” she said.

She said while the past holiday season had its challenges, the biblical story she found to be most relevant to congregants was that of the Israelites wandering in the desert.

“It feels like we too wander in the desert of COVID-19, uncertain of what will come next but holding onto a faith that we will indeed emerge from this,” Anderson said.

Trinity Lutheran Church, Rocky Point

The Rev. Peter Boehringer of Trinity Lutheran Church said the house of worship has used various online platforms for Sunday school, confirmation classes, First Communion, committee meetings and more. The church’s worship services are recorded and broadcasted on Facebook and YouTube.

He said the congregants see “the virus as something that falls within the realm of our interaction with nature.”

“Where we see God working is in the incredible compassion, empathy and commitment of people who have responded to the great challenges of this contagion with love,” he said. “If one takes the Easter message seriously, the idea that God is somehow punishing us, or the world, is negated. Our Lord does not promise that we will never be ill, or escape all disaster, etc., what is promised is the presence of the Holy Spirit in these things, that we may endure them and be a blessing to those around us.”

Village Chabad, East Setauket

Rabbit Motti Grossbaum said celebrating Passover this week was different than in the past.

“The question we ask at our Seder tables, ‘Why is this night different than all other nights?’ is ringing especially true at the present time,” he said. “We are doing our best to help the local community observe the holiday to the best degree possible as there is no reason we should Passover, Passover. Unfortunately as a Jewish people, we have been through challenges in our history, and the dedication that our ancestors had to our traditions and our heritage serves an inspiration to us during these challenging times to observe our faith despite the challenges. And when we do, we see that our connection to God and our faith gives us the hope we need to carry us through.”

Like other houses of worship, Village Chabad is using technology for services, education and counseling to members of all ages. Due to the pandemic, the rabbis have had to use technology to visit the sick and help families grieve virtually.

The rabbi had some words of hope. 

“While we cannot attempt to explain the reasoning for suffering and for COVID-19, we could attempt to find glimmers of hope and lessons of inspiration from our current world,” he said. “One obvious one is this. The world at large is currently united with one single focus. Crossing geographic divides, languages, cultures, races and even political differences, the world is currently united with one singular concern, goal and prayer. We are seeing how we are all responsible for each other and only together, will we bring an end to this. This is reminding us to set aside our differences and find the common humanity in every single human being on our planet. Every one of us are intrinsically good and together we will also reveal the intrinsic goodness of our world.”