Times of Huntington-Northport

Pixabay photo

As the days get shorter and the sun sets sooner, car crashes are more common. According to the American Automobile Association, after the clocks are turned back to standard time in the fall, more incidents happen between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m.

AAA recently reported that in 2020 there were 33,956 animal-related crashes in the state. Suffolk County, with 1,310 animal-related incidents, was the second highest in the state, tying with Monroe and behind Orange County. After the sun sets, residents are aware that animals can dart across the street, especially deer. Their sudden appearance on roadways in the fall is a regular occurrence as it’s rutting season for the creatures. It’s the time that they mate, and they have matters on their mind other than safety. 

While the last thing any driver wants to do is hit an animal, there are other dangers to look out for after dark. Pedestrians can still be walking in the evening hours. Many people wear dark colors and are hard to spot. The problem is compounded when they aren’t carrying flashlights that would draw attention to them.

While pedestrians can take care to wear the appropriate clothing and take a flashlight or wear some type of reflective material on jackets or shirts, experts advise drivers to pay extra attention, especially on streets that are lit dimly or not at all.

In areas where deer signs are posted or while traveling in busy areas where people may be walking, it’s best to drive slowly, of course, and keep more distance than usual between your car and the one in front of you. The same advice can come in handy when leaves are wet and can cause dangerous road conditions that make it difficult to stop. If a driver finds  a deer or a pedestrian close by, or tires slipping on leaves, the best thing is not to swerve suddenly and to brake slowly.

One last note, drivers need to make sure they stay centered in the lane. Many tend to gravitate more to the side when headlights go on; however, this can place vehicles even closer to pedestrians and animals. To make sure your car is centered in the lane, try to draw an imaginary line that goes from the asphalt to the sky. Look at the level of the horizon to stay on course if you feel you are gravitating to one side.

Driving at night can be a little tricky, but with extra care we can keep ourselves and our neighbors safe. 

Sal Ferro, Huntington councilman-elect, during a recent visit to TBR News Media. Photo by Rita J. Egan

A CEO of a company known for remodeling homes is ready to make some improvements in the Town of Huntington.

“I focused on my accomplishments. I focused on my track record and focused on what I wanted to do rather than pulling people down.”

— Sal Ferro

This campaign season Sal Ferro, CEO of Alure Home Improvements, ran for office for the first time on the Republican and Conservative lines. Two seats were up on the Huntington Town Board when current councilmen Ed Smyth (R) and Mark Cuthbertson (D) decided to run for other offices, town supervisor and county legislator, respectively. Smyth was successful, Cuthbertson was not.

Ferro said he thought about running for office before this year.

“I thought about it in the past, and I always guessed the timing wasn’t right,” he said. “And, I think everything fell into place this time, that this was my time to do so.”

The businessman ran on the same lines along with running mate David Bennardo. Ferro said the two want the same things for the town. Bennardo also happens to be his two older children’s former principal.

On election night, Ferro gathered with other area Republicans at the American Legion Huntington Post 360 in Halesite to hear the voting results. He said after all the hard work of campaigning it was a satisfying night.

“It was especially gratifying for me, because I ran my race and didn’t do some traditional things that have been done in the past in campaigning,” the councilman-elect said. “I ran a very clean race. I focused on my accomplishments. I focused on my track record and focused on what I wanted to do rather than pulling people down.”

Ferro said he and Bennardo were proud that the race was a civil one. During a debate at the TBR News Media offices, Ferro and Bennardo along with their opponents, Democrats Jennifer Hebert and Joseph Schramm, demonstrated that civility. Ferro said the first call to congratulate him was from Schramm and later Hebert also called him.

“That just kind of shows you the tone of the race, which was ‘we’re all going to work hard, and we’re all going to do the best we can to win the race, because we all feel that we’re the best candidate, but we’re going to do so on our own accomplishments,’” he said.

Ferro said when he takes office in January he would like to start working on making things more efficient in the town’s building department.

“That’s something that I made a campaign promise, that I would work on the building department,” he said. “I know that’s something that’s not going to happen overnight, but I’d like to bring some ideas to the building department, and I’d like to bring some efficiency to the department.”

“It’s one of those things where you have to balance, put in time in both jobs, and it requires a lot of work. It’s something I knew going in.”

— Sal Ferro

As for the particulars, Ferro said he’ll know that once he gets into office and meets the people involved in the department. Besides drawing from his personal business experience, the councilman-elect said he will look at other towns that have had success.

“One thing I said was I like to use some best practices from other towns,” he added. “We don’t have to completely reinvent the wheel. There are things that are working elsewhere, that have happened elsewhere and didn’t take a long time to turn some other towns around quickly.”

The businessman, who also heads up the nonprofit Ferro Foundation which helps Long Islanders in need, plans on continuing as CEO of Allure, he said, and will be able to balance his work responsibilities due to his company’s “excellent team.” He added that he has never been one to sit on the sidelines.

“It’s one of those things where you have to balance, put in time in both jobs, and it requires a lot of work,” he said. “It’s something I knew going in.”

By Barbara Anne Kirshner

Phenomenal music, dance, comedy with romance sprinkled on top all wrapped up in a giant red velvet bow, that’s White Christmas, Engeman Theater’s gift to ring in this joyous season.

Last year, the holidays were dismal with theatres shut across our great nation due to COVID, but not even a sweeping pandemic could extinguish its spirit for long. Theater fought back, reigniting marques with brilliant neon lights announcing that the show would most certainly go on.

The Engeman proudly swung open its grand glass doors welcoming all who enter to enjoy the magic of live theatre once more and to celebrate the holidays it is treating audiences to an irresistible White Christmas. With music and lyrics by Irving Berlin and book by David Ives and Paul Blake, this musical is based on the much loved 1954 movie starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen. The first stage adaptation did not happen until 2004 when it premiered in San Francisco before playing a limited engagement on Broadway from Nov. 14, 2008, until Jan. 4, 2009.

The story revolves around two former WWII army buddies Bob Wallace and Phil Davis who, after the war, become successful entertainers, then big time producers. They get a letter presumably from an army buddy asking them to check out his sisters’ act at a local club. Sparks fly when they meet these sisters who are leaving that night for a Vermont Inn to fulfill a booking engagement. In pursuit of romance, Bob and Phil follow the ladies and discover that their former general who now owns this inn has fallen on hard times. The plot proceeds with mad cap comedy and extraordinary musical numbers.

With producing artistic director, Richard Dolce and managing director Kevin J. O’Neill at the helm, the Engeman is dedicated to creating Broadway caliber experiences for their audiences and White Christmas is professionalism at its very best. 

This multi-talented ensemble is captivating. From the rollicking open numbers of Happy Holidays and White Christmas, Aaron Young as Bob Wallace and Daniel Plimpton as Phil Davis grasp us and never let go. Young’s voice richly floats through his every song while his stage presence is beguiling. Davis is a true song and dance man. The I Love a Piano duet featuring Darien Crago as Judy Hayes, is a tour de force tap number. Crago’s skill and energy mesmerizes in all her dance routines, making them appear effortless. Meadow Nguy as Betty Haynes soaring soprano sends chills especially in Love, You Didn’t Do Right by Me. 

Rounding out this ensemble is an impressive supporting cast. Keith Lee Grant is riveting as the stern General Henry Waverly shouting out commands until he reaches a moment of reflection that allows the caring man within to materialize. Suzanne Mason as Martha Watson sporting red curls reminiscent of Lucille Ball and impeccable comedic timing takes center stage belting out Let Me Sing and I’m Happy and nearly stops the show. The general’s granddaughter, Susan Waverly, played by AnnaBelle Deaner, mimics Martha with a rousing reprise of the same song.

Director Matt Kunkel has created sheer perfection taking us on a memorable musical journey of sight and sound. Music Director Camille Johnson maintains energetic fluidity from start to finish with a band that is beautifully synchronized to the performers in every number.

Choreography is central to this show and Drew Humphrey’s lively routines from the tap numbers to a chorus line done with the precision of the Rockettes is outstanding. Sound design is essential in a musical and Laura Shubert has the levels just right.

This is a period piece musical therefore costumes must allow for ease of movement while reflecting the 1950’s era and Dustin Cross has created breathtaking silhouettes most notably the dreamy coats decorated with clouds in Blue Skies, the dazzling black and white ensembles in I Love a Piano with Judy’s belt that unwinds into piano keys and all those stunning red confections in the White Christmas and I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm finale. Hair design is another essential element in a period piece and Conor Donnelly’s 1950’s hairstyles look authentic.

Kyle Dixon’s scenic design sets the tone and is functional as it morphs easily from one scene into the next giving the continuous feel of the magical holiday season by emphasizing reds, greens and whites. Dixon’s giant frames of white bark against green matting outlines the set and emphasizes a rural feel for the Vermont Inn. Aaron Bowersox’s lighting design adds brilliance to the big numbers and subtle touches for gentler moments.

White Christmas is a must-see festive treat for the entire family so ring in the holidays with this spectacular musical now through January 2, 2022. And be sure to return for the rest of their 2021-2022 season of exciting shows.

The John W. Engeman Theater is located at 250 Main Street in Northport. Tickets to the show range from $75 to $80 with free valet parking. To order, call 631-261-2900 or visit www.engemantheater.com.

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Flying? Are we really flying? Well, sure, why not, right? Everyone else is flying.

Wait, then again, everyone else seems to be flying. What if one of those other people is sick? Don’t think too much about it and breathe through your nose. Oh, you can’t because the two masks you’re wearing are pinching your nose? Well, tough! 

They’re serving drinks and cookies? People have to lower their masks to eat and drink, right? So, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of mandatory masks? Look away from everyone who’s breathing. Yeah, that’ll help.

Okay, finally, we’re on the ground. 

Hey, this is a nice campus. The sidewalks are packed and filled with so much energy, not all of which is positive.

“Why are all these $#@! parents here this weekend? I have several tests and I don’t need them all staring at me!”

That girl is sharing her academic anxiety with her friend and anyone else within 100 feet of her. Subtle, real subtle! Tempted as I am to let her know that parents, likely including her own, make this sometimes miserable experience possible, I refrain. She might be my son’s current or future friend.

I ask two students for the location of a building. The first shrugs and points me in the wrong direction and the second nearly draws a map. Okay, one for two.

I sit just in time for the start of a talk by successful alumni, who connect their careers to the lessons they learned at school. Clever marketing! Other parents chuckle at the jokes. I imagine these parents as college students. In my mind, the presenters onstage become Broadway performers. Each of the two men and two women, which I presume is a well-planned balance of genders, does his or her rendition of “how I succeeded,” with the subtext, just feet from the school president, of, “keep paying those tuitions!”

When the session ends, the phone rings. It’s my son! He’s strolling across a lawn. Wait, is that really him? Much as I want to run over and squeeze him, I play it cool, congratulating myself on my impulse control. Well done, Dan. You haven’t embarrassed him so far, but the weekend is young yet, even if you are not. He adjusts his hair, a move I’ve seen him and almost all his friends do frequently, even while running back and forth on a basketball court. What’s with all the hair adjustment? I quietly ask for permission to hug him. Yay! He agrees. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and fight the urge to pick him up, which is probably best for my back.

As we head to his dorm, he tells me he hasn’t done laundry in nine days. I don’t know whether that’s a hint, as in, “Dad, while you’re here…” or a statement of fact.

We part company and I learn about the evolving world of the commercialization of college athletes, who can use their name, image and likeness to make money. He’s listening to a psychology lecture about, who else, Sigmund Freud.

At a football game, I wonder how it can be this cold in Louisiana. Aren’t we in the deep south? We leave before it’s over, waiting in the cool air for 11 minutes for an expensive Uber — they must know it’s parents weekend — to take two families who are heading back to the same hotel.

10 pm. Who eats this late? I’m usually half way to sleep by now. My older brother is undoubtedly already in REM sleep. My stomach is going to hate this. Shut up stomach!

Looking around the table at these families, one thing is clear: these parents adore their children.

This is part of the story of how these boys got here and, hopefully, will help them continue to learn lessons, like how to dress for a cold football game and how to make reservations in advance before a busy parents weekend so we can eat earlier.

Pixabay photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

Talk about mixed emotions. That’s what we feel when we are driving along and suddenly see a deer running out from among the trees. They are beautiful and graceful animals, and we stop the car and point them out to our small children in the back seat, who are thrilled at the sighting, perhaps recalling Bambi. But there is a lot more to the deer story here in suburbia. 

Long Island is home to more than 20,000 white-tailed deer, and that number has been exploding because there haven’t been many threats — until now. As long as they could find enough food and survive particularly harsh winters, the occasional highway collision and the short hunting season, they were largely untroubled. 

However, they have been a nuisance to residents because they devour flowers and vegetable gardens. And while they can be the innocent carriers of an infected tick, whose bite causes the miserable Lyme disease, they are gentle enough souls who leap out of sight as humans approach.

Now it turns out that they may be a more serious problem to us. A new study in Iowa found that the deer seem to be contracting the coronavirus from humans and spreading it to one another. This means the deer could become a reservoir for deadly mutations of the virus that could then possibly be passed back to humans. In that event, another vaccine would have to be developed to target the new variant in much the same way as flu shots are modified from year to year. 

Researchers were astonished at how widespread the infection was among the deer population there, estimated at 80%. Deer hunters and others who handle deer (as road kill) are being urged to take precautions to avoid transmission, like wearing rubber gloves and a mask.

Researchers don’t know exactly how the deer get infected by humans, but they suggest it might occur when people in Iowa feed deer in their backyards, or through sewage discharges or anything partially chewed by an infected human, like a “splotch of chewing tobacco” that then might be licked by a deer. 

The study of the deer was led by veterinary microbiologists from Penn State, according to an article in The New York Times on November 9, and they were able to make their analysis by examining the lymph nodes of dead deer. But they have not yet been able to determine whether the animals were sickened by the pathogen. They also are going to examine other wild animals, especially mice, that live in close proximity to humans, to see if they too might carry the virus. 

There is well established research that shows some pathogens do move back and forth between animals and humans, including those that cause yellow fever and West Nile. And we do know our dogs and cats can get COVID-19.

Also in the news is something called epizootic hemorrhagic disease, transmitted by the EHD virus that can kill deer within 36 hours of infection. This often-fatal disease is transmitted by biting midges. We call them “no-see-ums.” Deer do not catch it from each other, nor can humans be infected by either deer or midges. But stricken deer bleed to death, especially in late summer and early fall when midges are abundant.

While there is no treatment for EHD, the first frost kills the midges, ending the outbreak. The virus was first confirmed in New York in 2007 with small outbreaks in the state’s northern counties, according to Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine. By 2020, the affected deer were found in the lower Hudson Valley, in other states along the eastern United States, and also in zoos.

“The dead deer do not serve as a source of infection for other animals because the virus is not long lived in dead animals,” according to the Cornell Wildlife Health Lab. Suffolk County has 139 cases reported and 8 confirmed as of last week.

Photo from Lee Zeldin's office

Suffolk County Republican lawmakers joined together last week calling on Democratic leaders in Albany to repeal the state’s cashless bail law. They argue that it has led to an uptick in violent crime.

Spearheaded by U.S. Congressman Lee Zeldin (R-NY1) — who is also the GOP’s potential nominee for governor in 2022 — he said that while on the campaign trail, he hears from people across both political parties who agree that bail reform needs to change.

“Many areas of the state that I’ve been to support repealing cashless bail,” Zeldin said during a press conference on Wednesday, Nov. 10. “They share stories about how cashless bail has eroded public safety.”

He added that the “red wave” that hit Suffolk County — including the success of newly elected Republican District Attorney Ray Tierney, could help send a message to majority Democrats to repeal the bail reform law.

“Too many New Yorkers have already witnessed the ramifications of this dangerous law first-hand, and on Election Day 2021 they made it abundantly clear that they have had enough,” Zeldin said. “This fatally flawed law undermines New York’s men and women in blue, their morale, their efforts and, most importantly, their authority. In the courtroom, it rips away judges’ judicial discretion, ties their hands and forces them to ignore prior convictions and the risk of repeat offenders. Instead of handcuffing criminals, this misguided law handcuffs justice, and every day New Yorkers are the ones paying the price.”

Tierney interjected and said that a package of newly enacted or proposed Democratic bills, including those that reform parole and would expunge many misdemeanor convictions and lower-level felonies, fail to keep the public safe.

“We are here to say these laws do not keep us safer,” Tierney said. “And we need to repeal some of these laws and start to think about the victims and the victims’ families when we consider criminal justice reform.”

He added that during the most-recent election, he and his GOP colleagues saw that bail reform and criminal justice were huge issues that needed to be tackled.

“We saw suddenly our elected officials coming to the realization that bail reform and criminal justice reform did not keep us safe and it was not an effective law,” he said.

Zeldin and Tierney were joined by members of the state Senate and Assembly. Sen. Mario Mattera (R-St. James) congratulated Tierney on his recent win.

“I’m so excited that the people spoke,” Mattera said. “They wanted to make sure we have the right people in place to keep our residents safe.”

Sen. Anthony Palumbo (R-New Suffolk) said that bail reform “needs to change — it’s dangerous.”

“The people have spoken,” he added. “They finally remember the victims who have been forgotten by the two majorities.”

Assemblywoman Jodi Giglio (R-Riverhead) agreed that victims and witnesses are currently not safe.

“It’s not right what happened, we need to repeal it,” she said. “Repeat offenders need to be behind bars and judges need that jurisdiction back.”

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Having won their New York State Class A field hockey semi-final by five goals the day before against Clarence High School, the Northport Tigers advanced to the championship round on Sunday, Nov. 14, against section 2 finalist Shenendehowa High School.

It would be Olivia McKenna’s stick that made the difference when the Northport midfielder rocked the box off an assist by senior forward Shannon Smith to put the Tigers up 1-0. Although Shenendehowa surged in the third quarter, the Tiger defense was able to keep their opponents at bay for what would be the final score to win the NYSPHSAA Class A tournament.

Senior co-captain Sophia Bica and McKenna were a potent one-two combination where both topped Suffolk County scoring charts with Bica tallying 17 goals and 22 assists for 39 points, and McKenna had 19 goals and 19 assists for 38 points.

Northport finished their 2021 campaign with a perfect 21-0 record.

By Tara Mae

Suffolk County Vanderbilt Museum’s new exhibit, Alva Belmont: Socialite to Suffragist, traces Alva Vanderbilt Belmont’s evolution from Alabama belle to New York suffragist. 

Originally planned for 2020 as a centennial celebration of the ratification of the 19th Amendment, it is on display in the Vanderbilt Mansion’s Lancaster Room on the first floor and offers an overview of Alva’s life while highlighting her fervent support for the women’s suffrage movement. 

“Alva Vanderbilt Belmont was the mother of William K. Vanderbilt II, who built the estate, mansion, and museum,” said Executive Director Elizabeth Wayland-Morgan. Alva’s first husband, William II’s father, was the grandson of Cornelius Vanderbilt, a business tycoon who amassed his wealth through railroads and shipping. 

From a prominent Southern family, Alva brought her own money and social standing into the marriage and later used her position to fight for women’s rights. 

“As a Southern socialite, she became an unexpected champion of women’s rights. Alva gave important support and funding to the National American Woman Suffrage Association and several women’s suffrage groups in the U.S. and the United Kingdom,” Wayland-Morgan added. “Alva was in a position of considerable power, influence, and social connections. For such a woman in any era to take up the fight for the rights of all women was startling. I wanted to know more about her extraordinary life.”

The exhibit is set up in five sections: Early Life, First Foray, Marble House, The National Woman’s Party, and Later Life. 

“Each section represents a pivotal moment in Alva’s life that shows how she became involved in the suffragist movement over time,” explained Archives and Records Manager Killian Taylor during a recent tour.

Primary sources and artifacts, including newspaper articles and “Votes for Women” plates commissioned by Alva, are on display and the Estate of Nan Guzzetta loaned 13 replicas of historic suffragist outfits to set the stage. The focal point of the exhibit is the photographs that adorn the walls. 

Images are included from the museum’s collection, the Library of Congress, and the National Woman’s Party, as well as loaned from the Southampton History Museum. Port Jefferson Village historian Chris Ryon also provided prints. A video installation, sponsored by Bank of America, chronicles her life.

“It is primarily a photo-based exhibit; Alva’s life through photos. Alva was savvy about using the media to her advantage” said Taylor.

Featuring pictures of Alva’s private and public lives, photos depict Alva with her children, at her homes, such as Marble House in Rhode Island (site of her “Conference of Great Women”), and with her fellow suffragists, among them Alice Paul and Lucy Burns.  

Taylor’s favorite images pertain to Alva’s work with the suffrage movement. 

“The first is a photo of Alva, Alice Paul, and a number of members of the National Woman’s Party; everyone is centered around Alva, who is sitting at a desk that belonged to Susan B. Anthony. The second is a photo of Alva’s funeral in 1933; the mausoleum is a replica of one designed by da Vinci. Alva’s pallbearers were all women and her casket flanked by members of National Woman’s Party,” he said.  

Recognizing the influence of her social capital, Alva leveraged it for promoting women’s suffrage. Any event, even her own funeral, could be used for publicity. 

“One of Alva’s strong points was that she was very, very good at using the press, so when she became heavily involved in the movement she made sure that she got in the papers,” Taylor said.  

Alva joined the National American Woman Suffrage Association circa 1909, following the death of her second husband, Oliver Belmont, and quickly put to good use the connections she had initially fostered while married to her first husband, William Kissam Vanderbilt.  

Alva networked, hosted events, organized, founded the Political Equality Union of New York to elect candidates who supported women’s suffrage, created a new national press bureau, worked the press, and with Paul even arranged the first picket protest to be held outside the White House. 

As a leader of women’s suffrage, Alva was advocating for women to have power beyond what was allocated to them by the men in their lives. Before women had the right to vote, their primary access to power was through their husbands (or fathers.) 

And so, prior to her participation in the women’s suffrage movement, Alva sought authority through the means most available to her: making a socially and economically suitable marriage for herself. Alva understood the importance of a “good match,” as Taylor noted, and with William K. Vanderbilt, she made one.

“Their marriage was pragmatic; it was not a love match,” he added. “For an American woman who wanted independence during the 19th century, the option was to marry rich.” 

William was certainly rich; he was part of the wealthiest family in the country. He and Alva had three children: Consuelo, William, and Harold. 

Alva divorced William Sr. for having an affair, at the time an uncommon response to such behavior. 

“She is the one who suffered the backlash,” Taylor said. Still, she emerged with several of their estates and a financial settlement reportedly in the range of $10 million. 

Her second marriage, to Oliver Belmont, was by all accounts a happier union. In 1908, her husband died of appendicitis and Alva fell into a depression. To cope, she immersed herself in charitable works and causes, which led her to the women’s suffrage movement. 

“At Consuelo’s urging, she attended a suffrage event in the United Kingdom and that lit the spark,” Taylor said. 

Consuelo was involved in the women’s suffrage movement in England, and the two pooled their resources and clout for women’s suffrage in the United States. They had reconciled after a rift caused years earlier by Alva’s machinations in arranging Consuelo’s marriage.

She selected Charles Spencer-Churchill, Duke of Marlborough, as Consuelo’s husband. Alva apparently saw the union as an opportunity for further upward mobility and international social standing. Consuelo refused to wed him, wanting instead to elope with her secret fiancé, Winthrop Rutherford. 

In retaliation, Alva had her locked in her room and threatened to shoot Rutherford. “Alva was very strong-willed,” Taylor said. Consuelo continued to resist until Alva emotionally blackmailed her into compliance, feigning she was dying of a heart ailment to get her then seventeen year old daughter to acquiesce. On the day of the wedding, while Consuelo reputedly wept behind her veil, Alva appeared to have made an immediate and full recovery. 

A little over a decade into the marriage, Consuelo and Charles separated. They later divorced and sought an annulment, with Alva’s full support. During the process, Alva told an investigator “I forced my daughter to marry the duke.”

The common goal of women’s suffrage helped heal the once frayed relationship between the two women, and as Consuelo worked abroad, Alva, with the National Woman’s Party, sought a constitutional amendment to guarantee women the right to vote in the United States. 

Victory came in 1920 with the ratification of the 19th Amendment. Alva then moved to France to be near Consuelo. She died there in 1933 and is interred in the Belmont Mausoleum at Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx. 

“The museum is proud of Alva’s national leadership role as a champion of women’s rights, as was her family. Her success in the suffrage movement and in securing the right of women to vote is a significant, pivotal chapter in American history,” Wayland-Morgan said. 

The Suffolk County Vanderbilt Museum, 180 Little Neck Road, Centerport presents Alva Belmont: Socialite to Suffragist through mid-January 2022. Tickets to the museum are $10 for adults, $9 for seniors, $9 for students with ID, and $7 for children age 12 and younger) Children under the age of two are free. Current hours for the museum, mansion and planetarium are Friday to Sunday from noon to 4 p.m. For more information, call 631-854-5579 or visit www.vanderbiltmuseum.org.

A living room in one of the Overbay apartments in Port Jefferson. Photo from the Northwind Group

Throughout the last few weeks, we have been listening to what different candidates have to say when it comes to revitalization and development of our towns. 

One of the biggest taglines of most elected officials is that they “want to keep young people on Long Island.”

That’s great, and young people appreciate the sentiment, but what many don’t realize is the stresses it takes to buy a house in today’s market. 

Most young people — such as postgraduate professionals — would love to buy their own place at 24 or 25. Unfortunately, many cannot and instead choose to rent as a temporary solution.

While there are mother/daughter suites across Long Island, and plenty of accessory apartments that people utilize, legal and illegal, there are other options popping up from Huntington to Selden — larger apartment complexes, such as the ones built and being built alongside local train stations. 

These developments have been instrumental in keeping young people in our area because, in many cases, the couple fall in love with the town and then proceed to buy a house there. The apartments are simply starter homes to give these new working professionals the freedoms they need to grow up.

A big argument that comes out of the development of different areas is that it makes the place “too urban.” While these complexes bring in more people — but not many — they are just adding a bit to an already developed community. 

Take Huntington village or Port Jefferson — these two areas are already considered downtowns. Adding apartments to a place that resembles a small city isn’t completely out of the ordinary. 

Embracing the development where appropriate can be good for our communities. It can help our children and our neighbors start their own lives. It may look a little different than 30 years ago, but this is the new normal.

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Have you ever watched someone who was cheering for their team at a sporting event?

Aside from the potential enormous and mindless consumption of calories in the form of hot dogs, chips and beverages, superfans scream at the players, tilt their heads when they want a ball to move in a particular direction, or beg a higher power to help their player outperform people on the other team whose fans are pleading for the opposite outcome.

As fans, we have little control over the result of a game, especially if we’re watching it on television. Sure, home field advantage likely helps some teams and players, as fans urging their favorites on, standing and shouting at the tops of their lungs could inspire athletes to raise their level of play.

But, really, all of that pleading, begging and cheering into the ether or at the blinking lights on our screens gives us the illusion of control, as if we have some way to influence games.

We generally don’t accept or give up control because we like to think that, somewhere, somehow, our wishes, goals and desires mean something to a deity, a guardian angel, or a fairy godmother. To be human is to hope to control the uncontrollable.

Give me the inspiration to pick the right lotto numbers, please! Let me ride the subway with my future spouse. Keep me from hitting the curb on my driver’s test!

Millions of Americans sit each night with a remote control in their hands, surfing channels, changing the volume and traveling, without getting up from the couch, from a program about ospreys to a fictional story about a female secretary of state who becomes an embattled president. We sometimes revel in the excitement that comes at the point that teeters between control and a lack of control. When we’re young, we ride a bike with both hands. At some point, we take one hand off the bike. Eventually, we learn to balance the bike with no hands, as we glide down the street with our hands on our hips or across our chest.

In our entertainment, we imagine people who have higher levels of control, like wizards with wands or superheroes who use the force to move objects.

When we become parents, we realize the unbelievable joy and fear that comes from trying to control/ help/ protect and direct the uncontrollable.

When our children are in their infancy, we might determine where they go and what they wear, but we generally can’t control the noises they make, even by finding and replacing their pacifiers. These noises are their way of preparing us for the limited control we have as they age.

They make numerous choices, some of which we feel might not be in their longer term best interest. We can see the bigger picture, which can be as simple as recognizing that taking eight classes while working part time at night and joining the marching band is likely creating an  unsustainable schedule. We know how important the basics — sleeping, eating, exercising — are to their lives, even if they make impulse driven choices.

One of the hardest parts of parenting may be knowing when to give them the space and opportunity to make decisions for themselves and to encourage them to learn from their choices.

Parents are lifetime fans of their children, supporting and encouraging them, leaning to the left to keep a ball in play, to the right to keep it out of a goal, or higher when we want their voices to hit the highest notes in their range during a performance of “West Side Story.”

It’s no wonder so many parents are exhausted and exhilarated after a big moment in their children’s lives: we might not have done anything but sit in a seat and clap our hands, but we tried, from a distance and in our own way, to control the uncontrollable.