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‘Through the Eyes of a Child’ art exhibit opens in Port Jefferson

by TBR Staff - November 5, 2016

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'I Spy A Dragon Fly' by Rita Swanteson will be on view at the Port Jefferson Village Center through Nov. 17. Image from Mac Titmus

By Rita J. Egan

The North Shore Art Guild is exhibiting for a cause. From Nov. 3 to 27, the organization will present Artists United in the Fight Against Cancer, at the Port Jefferson Village Center. The exhibition will benefit the Stony Brook Cancer Center’s Art Therapy Program. Mac Titmus, president of The North Shore Art Guild, said 30 percent of the event sales will go toward the program. With a decline in federal and state funding, the raised funds will help the cancer center avoid cuts in the program.

‘Street Artist,’ oil on canvas by Joe Miller

The center offers therapeutic programs to provide relief from pain, fatigue, boredom and stress for both children and adult patients. Titmus said the guild invited both members and nonmembers to submit work for the exhibit demonstrating the theme Through the Eyes of a Child. The guild president said when it comes to shows such as this one the group looks for a broad theme for the artists to work with. “We always try to think of a theme that is going to inspire the artists, and being that this is something to do with young children in the oncology unit, we try to visualize how the world would look through the eyes of a child,” he said.

The show, juried by local accomplished artist Linda Louis, will feature 98 pieces from 67 artists. According to Titmus, the artwork was chosen from 118 submissions, and the selection represents a mixture of mediums including watercolors, acrylics, photography, mixed media and more.

Healing through art therapy

Stephanie Condra, a licensed creative arts therapist who works with oncologists and bone marrow transplant patients at Stony Brook, said art therapy is instrumental in allowing patients to express their feelings during treatment and hospitalization as well as providing important coping skills. “It can be very psychotherapeutic in nature. It can do a lot of processing of thoughts and feelings of fear and anxiety and anger, as well as actively in the moment give something very positive to focus on,” she said. According to the therapist, in addition to creating art, this type of therapy provides other creative choices including working with a patient using guided visualization, playing music or even talking in imagery and metaphor. Condra said patients can experience a lot of anxiety when it comes to their treatment and future. “I think that’s one of the great benefits of art therapy, that they get much more of a choice and control in what is going on in that moment, when a lot feels out of control with the treatment.”

Finding the words through art

Joan Alpers, director of Child Life Services at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital, agrees with the benefits for patients when given a choice with art, and she said therapists who work with pediatric patients also offer games and playing with objects. “It’s both providing different kind of choices to people where choices of course are being taken away, and it’s also providing the opportunity to kind of normalize an experience, where, of course, necessarily medicine and medical protocol take first stage.”

Alpers said communicating through art is an important tool when it comes to pediatric patients. “Sometimes what happens is children just don’t have the words for things. They just don’t have the capacity to tell us how they are feeling or what’s going on or put it in words. But they certainly can make us a picture or show us in their play,” she said.

Children stand in front of one of the art pieces that will be on view at the PJVC through Nov. 27.

In addition to the guild’s exhibit on the second floor of the Village Center, Alpers and Condra said on the third floor artwork from pediatric patients will be on display in the hope that art lovers will be able to relate to the need for such a program. “Kids are filled with life even when they are sick, and kids want to paint and make and do, even while they are dealing with their treatments for cancer and devastating illnesses,” said Alpers, adding, “A lot of the work that we’ll show from the kids is bright and airy and beautiful, because that’s what kids need to be and do in order to create hope, in order to make a pleasant day out of a difficult day.”

Making a difference

Titmus said even though cancer can be a difficult subject, the guild has a goal in addition to raising money when visitors come to the exhibit. “We’re hoping that they understand a little bit more about art therapy,” he said. The art guild president said the goal is to donate $20,000 to the cause. In addition to the funds raised with event sales, the guild, which includes 140 members, has already begun raising money for the art therapy program through private donations and sponsorships by reaching out to local businesses and corporations. Artists also paid an entrance free of $10 for members and $20 for nonmembers to be considered as part of the show, and these fees will also go toward the donation.

The exhibit, which is presented in cooperation with Stony Brook Cancer Center, the Village of Port Jefferson and the Port Jefferson Conservancy, will feature a reception on Nov. 12 from 4 to 7 p.m. where many of the artists will be on hand. Raffles will be sold to raise additional funds and among the prizes are four one-day passes to Disney World and a chef’s dinner from Ruvo East in Port Jefferson. Both Condra and Alpers feel that events such as this help patients by acknowledging their journeys, something that is important to those suffering from cancer. “When they hear that there are people in their own community that are there behind them, I think that’s extremely valuable and extremely important in terms of their care, their hope and their resilience,” Alpers said.

The Port Jefferson Village Center, 101A E. Broadway, Port Jefferson is open seven days a week from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. except holidays. For more information, call 631-802-2165 or visit www.northshoreartguild.com.

Port Jeff Station co. installs free roof for military family

by Alex Petroski - November 4, 2016

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roof-deployment-petroski-110116w — U.S. Marine Corps veteran Gregory Moore and his wife Elissa watch their new roof being installed by All Pro Remodeling, with materials donated by Owens Corning. Photo by Alex Petroski

By Alex Petroski

It’s impossible to adequately thank military members and their families for their sacrifices, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

The Port Jefferson Station-based company All Pro Remodeling teamed up with manufacturer Owens Corning to provide veteran Gregory Moore and his family with a new roof for their home on Sandpiper Lane in Coram Nov. 1. All Pro supplied the labor free of charge and Owens Corning donated the materials as part of their Roof Deployment Project. The 501(c)(3) charity Support Our Troops assisted in selecting the Moores.

“I’ve heard of things like this, but it never happened to me,” Moore said. “I was always grateful for any veteran getting help, because there’s a lot of veterans in need that are too proud to say they need a roof, a car, or any help because we were raised like that — to be independent. So when things like this happen to me, it’s just amazing.”

Moore, 39, and his wife Elissa have lived in the home for five years with their two sons — Dana, 15, and Mason, 10. Moore served in the United States Marine Corps for eight years and currently works out of MacArthur Airport as a member of the National Guard.

He said his roof had several leaks and the family was already budgeting to repair it in the near future. Moore and his wife both recounted the moment he broke the news to her over the phone. Understandably, there were tears.

“It means a lot — it debunks all of the stories out there that we don’t appreciate our veterans, because we do.”

— Elissa Moore

“It means a lot — it debunks all of the stories out there that we don’t appreciate our veterans, because we do. There are a lot of programs out there that benefit military families. It shows that military families are appreciated. The sacrifices that are made, it affects not only the soldier, but the family as well.”

All Pro Remodeling owner Mike Hughes said he’s had this idea for some time.

“This is the first time I’m doing something like this,” he said. “I always wanted to, I just didn’t have the means. This year it worked out, so I was happy to give back and help a veteran.”

Moore said he has some plans for the money they’d been saving now that the roof no longer needs fixing. The couple plans to bring their son Dana to visit the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, and they’ll also be renovating a bathroom in their home.

“Thank you to Owens Corning and All Pro,” Moore said. It’s awesome. I’m very grateful for it.”

Owens Corning sales manager for the North East region Joe Russo embraced the importance of taking care of veterans.

“It’s something that makes me proud of my company, that they support military families,” he said. “They’re the ones that protect our freedom and it makes me feel good that we can do something like this.”

Long-time assemblyman faces prosecutor in 4th district race

by Donna Newman - November 4, 2016

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englebright-weissbardw — Assemblyman Steve Englebright (D-Setauket), right, faces Steve Weissbard in the race for New York’s 4th Assembly District seat. Photos by Desirée Keegan

There were areas of agreement and points of sharp contrast between incumbent Steve Englebright (D-Setauket) and challenger Steve Weissbard (R) when they sat down together at the TBR News Media main office to discuss their qualifications and plans for New York’s 4th Assembly District.

Route 347 and its ongoing reconstruction was high on the challenger’s list of important issues. The traffic and congestion are intolerable and detract from quality of life for area residents, and the redesign has been flawed, Weissbard said.

“New York is known as the least free state, the most regulated state, the highest tax rate state. We’re bleeding industry.”

— Steve Weissbard

“We need to get rid of the lights and add a third lane,” Weissbard said. “There should have been more overpasses.”

The incumbent said he is pleased with the changes to Route 347. Englebright noted the history of the road, which was originally supposed to be leg two of the Northern State Parkway extending all the way out to Orient.

“It never happened and we have a roadway that was confused by historical events,” he said. “The first proposals put forth by the [Department of Transportation] — going back more than a decade — would have recreated the Cross Bronx Expressway. Then Senator Jim Lack and I rejected those proposals and asked for something better. The something better is in the works.”

Weissbard has ideas for improving the state economy, which he said has been contracting for the last 40 years.

“New York is known as the least free state, the most regulated state, the highest tax rate state,” he said. “We’re bleeding industry.”

The answer, he added, quoting President Ronald Reagan, isn’t more government, but less government.

Englebright offered a different perspective.

“I can’t help but notice that the largest employer is government — and the largest entity, in fact, is in this district: the State University of New York — the largest employer in the bicounty region,” he said.

He argued that its presence has helped our community weather deep recessions that have affected other areas on Long Island much more profoundly.

On Common Core, however, they agreed completely.

“I think it undermines the fundamental relationship between teacher and student,” Weissbard said.

His Democratic counterpart was equally critical of the federal program.

“In the past, teaching was seen as an art,” Englebright said. “Now it’s trying to be seen as a quantifiable, robotic-like activity.”

“In the past, teaching was seen as an art. Now it’s trying to be seen as a quantifiable, robotic-like activity.”

— Steve Englebright

They both said they would like Common Core to be scrapped for a system that returns control to local school districts and teachers.

Englebright said he hopes voters will return him to Albany for a thirteenth term. He stands on his record of accomplishment on behalf of his constituents.

“I have made promises [in the past] and I have kept those promises,” he said.

Although his record on environmental issues gets lots of attention, he named other legislation that made him proudest.

“That the pertussis [whooping cough] legislation I sponsored with Dr. Shetal Shah has, according to his data, reduced the incidence of this killer childhood disease by at least 50 percent since the law’s passage in 2012,” he said.

Weissbard said he would like to bring a new perspective to the Assembly.

“As a county attorney, as a prosecutor, I’ve been in charge of both the juvenile drug court and, at times, the adult drug court, so I’ve seen the war on drugs on the Island at point blank range,” Weissbard said. “It’s a lot of first-hand knowledge that I would love to bring to the state level.”

Red light cameras, child sex abuse laws discussed in senate race

by Victoria Espinoza - November 3, 2016

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flanagan-magistralew — Democrat Peter Magistrale and State Sen. John Flanagan battle each other, and Independent Stephen Ruth for the right to represent the 2nd district Nov. 8. Photos by Desirée Keegan

St. James resident Peter Magistrale, 24, is taking his first swing at elected office, challenging New York State Sen. and Majority Leader John Flanagan (R-East Northport) to represent the 2nd district.

The candidates met and discussed why they think they could best represent their constituents at TBR News Media’s main office.

Magistrale (D) said he is running for office because he wants to tackle political corruption.

“I see government at all levels as a tool for powerful people to get what they want,” he said. Magistrale said he wants to focus on ways to reform campaign finance and laws to protect children in sexual abuse cases, among his other platform issues.

“I don’t believe in vigilantism. I don’t like red light cameras, and I voted against them.”

— John Flanagan

Flanagan said he’s proud to be the first majority leader from Suffolk County, and proud of the legislation he has helped pass, including a package of bills to combat the county’s opioid abuse problem and restoring funding taken from school districts by the Gap Elimination Adjustment. Flanagan has served in the New York Senate for 14 years, and before that served in the New York State Assembly for 16 years.

Part of Magistrale’s campaign has been dedicated to supporting the Child Victims Act, which is legislation that would eliminate both criminal and civil statutes of limitation for child sexual abuse, and provide a one-time, one-year window in the statute of limitations to enable victims whose claim was time-barred by the current arbitrary limitations to revive their claim.

“A child who’s sexually abused cannot come forward after they’ve turned 23,” Magistrale said. “That’s not protection. That’s protecting financial interests who do not want the law changed. To say that the current law protects children — it does not.”

Flanagan agreed this is a serious issue, but did not agree with how Magistrale wants to approach the issue.

“There are significant protections in the law right now,” he said. “This is a one-year opener that could bring cases going back 40, 50, 60 years. We have statutes of limitations for very cogent reasons and no matter how emotional a subject may be, witness availability, evidence, all those things have a salutary effect in terms of what happens.”

Stephen Ruth, referred to as the Red Light Robin Hood, is also running against the two candidates for the 2nd district seat, but did not respond to request for comment. Ruth is an outspoken critic against the red light camera program on Long Island and has been arrested for tampering with red light cameras.

“I don’t believe in vigilantism,” Flanagan said of Ruth’s actions. “I don’t like red light cameras, and I voted against them.” The state senator said that while this program was first suggested as a safety issue, it now seems like more of a measure to increase revenue.

Magistrale said he agreed with most of Flanagan’s sentiments.

“I think there is a good enough reason to look at if the red lights were shortened,” Magistrale said. “Shortening a yellow light is just as dangerous, and I think we ought to have an investigation to find out if they really were shorted or not.”

“A child who’s sexually abused cannot come forward after they’ve turned 23. That’s not protection. That’s protecting financial interests who do not want the law changed.”

— Peter Magistrale

The candidates found some common ground on education, and agreed the system is in need of improvement.

Magistrale said he believes Common Core has lost the consent of the citizens.

“We’ve had opt out rates, from grades three through eight, over 50 percent …what does that say?” Magistrale said. “Having standardized exams that reinforce memorization is not a way to create free thinkers. In a time in our history where crimes are being committed in the highest places of government, we need people who will ask questions, not be obedient.”

Flanagan said he’s had many hearings and meetings on the subject throughout the state.

“This is one subject area where I know more than frankly anybody in the Legislature,” he said. “I don’t like the exams … but all those tests are overwhelmingly mandated by the federal government.” Flanagan said despite the problems with Common Core, changes on the federal level need to be put in place to improve the current system, rather than tearing it down and starting over.

Zeldin and Throne-Holst spar over conflicting policies

by TBR Staff - November 3, 2016

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throneholst-zeldinw — Congressman Lee Zeldin and challenger Anna Throne-Holst face off in the 1st Congressional District, which many have called a ‘surrogate race’ for the presidential election. Photos by Alex Petroski

By Kevin Redding

A clashing of opinions on almost every issue gave way to a tense debate between an incumbent Republican congressman and a former Southampton Town supervisor as the race for the 1st Congressional District seat enters its final stretch.

Rep. Lee Zeldin (R-Shirley), who graduated from Albany Law School before serving in the U.S. Army Reserve, was first elected into the House of Representatives in 2014 and seeks to maintain that position Nov. 8. He must first win re-election, however, against Democrat Anna Throne-Holst, whose work in local government has been guided by a “people over politics” platform in an effort to make government work for everyone.

The candidates sat down at the TBR News Media office Oct. 27 to square off on a variety of pressing local and national topics, like the environment, veterans issues, Planned Parenthood and the presidential election.

Zeldin has accomplished plenty in his 21 months representing the district, which encompasses most of central and eastern Suffolk County, and takes pride in his willingness to work with absolutely anyone, regardless of party.

“Everyone is entitled to and wants clean air and clean water, and whatever we can do to advance that is important.”

— Lee Zeldin

He has worked hard to help veterans suffering from PTSD, secured the repeal of the saltwater fishing license fee, and fought to block the federal government’s proposed sale of Plum Island.

Throne-Holst has built and run organizations mostly geared toward educational and essential services for families in need of support, worked at the U.N. Department of Peacemaking, and wants to utilize the work she’s done abroad to fix what she calls “thorny foreign policy decisions that we are dealing with.”

She’s committed to providing a service to families and young people in the community who she said have been sorely underserved. She said Congress is at an all-time low approval rating and has not done enough to deal with the critical issues the country is facing.

Before the candidates focused their discussion on the environment, there were accusations from both sides regarding the Environmental Protection Agency.

“All due respect, I think it’s important to note the things where funding has either been slashed or not put forward,” Throne-Holst said. “When I think about things, like the EPA, that he voted to decrease funding for … and the kind of funding that supports programs that are crucial to our residents here in district one New York, and that have been mired in partisan politics in Washington, that is part of what I think is troubling.”

Zeldin refuted Throne-Holst’s statements.

“My opponent repeatedly states that I voted multiple times to defund the EPA,” he said, demanding specific bill numbers from Throne-Holst. “That is not truthful. When there was a vote to cut EPA funding by 17 percent, I voted against the cut. My opponent didn’t read the bill. There are ways to improve the EPA and strengthen the relationship between the EPA and Congress and the American people.”

Zeldin introduced a Long Island Sound Restoration and Stewardship Act alongside Congressman Steve Israel, and said the health of the Sound would be an important issue if he secured another term.

He talked specifically about his involvement in raising money for the National Estuary Program, which provides grants to states threatened by pollution and overuse, and his proposals in relation to Plum Island.

“Everyone is entitled to and wants clean air and clean water, and whatever we can do to advance that is important,” Zeldin said.

Throne-Holst spoke more broadly about the hazards of climate change, an issue Zeldin has questioned the legitimacy of in the past, and sea-level rise. She said there isn’t a single homeowner or business owner in the region immune to climate change. She said the federal government has a responsibility to lead the way in putting together a climate change resiliency plan, district by district.

The debate turned even more contentious when the focus shifted to their respective stances on Planned Parenthood.

Zeldin, who voted for a bill that would halt funding for the organization for a year, was asked whether or not he believed it should be defunded.

“I believe in a woman’s right to choose. I don’t think it’s a question of a personal experience. I think it’s a question of respecting the civil rights of every American.”

— Anna Throne-Holst

“I respect the position amongst American taxpayers who do not want their dollars to go toward funding abortions,” he said. “I certainly have a sensitivity and respect for both sides of this issue … but the idea that it can be legal for someone to be able to decide to get an abortion in the eighth month or ninth month, that is something that I very strongly disagree with.”

When pressed for clarification on the organization’s funding, Zeldin said “as far as funding abortion services, yeah [it should be halted].”

Throne-Holst called their views on the issue a very clear line in the sand.

“I believe in a woman’s right to choose,” she said. “I don’t think it’s a question of a personal experience. I think it’s a question of respecting the civil rights of every American. The idea that government has any role to play in making that decision for anyone goes against any provision of humanity.”

Zeldin has publicly supported Republican nominee Donald Trump in the race for the White House in the past, though he said we have two flawed options for president, referring to Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton as well. He offered no defense for Trump’s well-documented controversial statements, including the Access Hollywood leak wherein Trump boasted about sexually assaulting women.

He said he sides with Trump on many issues, like improving foreign, tax and immigration policies and defeating “Islamic Extremism.” He said he agrees with Trump more than he agrees with Clinton.

Throne-Holst accused her opponent of going on CNN numerous times to defend Trump in the past. She said there is no excuse for overlooking the statements Trump has made and “allowing this man to be the supreme leader of this country and be the role model for our children.”

Go Green Information Fair returns

by TBR Staff - November 1, 2016

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nomi-john-gogreen-sgn — John Lutterbie and Naomi Solo with the sign designating Port Jefferson as a ‘green’ village.

By Naomi Solo

The Port Jefferson High School Environmental Club sells reusable water bottles at a previous Go Green event.

A decade ago Ann Kaplan and John Lutterbie from the Stony Brook University Humanities Institute formed a university community group in order to inspire positive thinking about the environment. When the group wanted to choose a target area to begin its work, the Village of Port Jefferson was selected. The Humanities Institute joined forces with the local government and Port Jefferson schools to make the village a model for environmental awareness.

On Saturday, Nov. 5, the community is invited to to learn more about these joint efforts at the 9th Annual Go Green Information Fair. This year the free event will be held in the cafeteria of the Earl L. Vandermeulen High School at 350 Old Post Road in Port Jefferson from noon to 3 p.m. Creative projects initiated by local students will be the highlight of the day along with musical presentations by the elementary school chorus and a special musical performance by high school student Cole Fortier.

Come learn about Port Jefferson High School’s new Green Roof project, located on the roof of the boy’s locker room. A green roof is a roof of a building that is partially or completely covered with vegetation and a growing medium, planted over a waterproofing membrane. Sierra Club members will be on hand with information on where to hike and explore on Long Island, and members from the Long Island Native Plant Initiative will demonstrate the many ways to cultivate a garden using indigenous plants. A fine example of this is the native plant garden Go Green, LINPI and Port Jefferson Village have developed on the green triangle at the intersection of Spring and High Streets.

An environmental-themed student art show, organized by Lynn Edsall, chairperson of the high school art department, will also be on view to add to the richness of the day and don’t forget to stop by the “Green Elephant” table where, for no money, you can be part of yet another recycle team by taking home whatever items you wish. You may also contribute items while cleaning your closets and cabinets. Call Barbara at 631-642-3048. Please no clothes, linen, electronics, or books.

For further information, call 631-473-3549.

More treats less tricks from Halloween on North Shore

by Victoria Espinoza - November 1, 2016

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Residents from all over the North Shore spent the weekend and Monday celebrating Halloween and dressing up in their spookiest costumes.

Port Jefferson high school hosts educational forum on addiction

by Alex Petroski - October 31, 2016

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educational-addiction-forumw — Celina Wilson, left, of Bridge of Hope Resource Center, and Zachary Jacobs, right, of Stony Brook Children’s Hospital, address community members who attended an educational forum at Port Jefferson high school Oct. 19. Photos by Alex Petroski

Port Jefferson high school played host to an educational forum on the ongoing addiction problem facing the community Oct. 19.

The forum, entitled The Adolescent Brain: Preventing High-Risk Behaviors, was presented by Bridge of Hope Resource Center, a Port Jefferson Station nonprofit created in 1998 with the goal of improving the lives of individuals in the community and is a strong advocate in the fight against addiction. Speakers featured a former Brookhaven National Lab scientist who specializes in addiction and the human brain, a doctor in the field of adolescent medicine at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital and the founder and president of the nonprofit.

Suffolk County has statistically been one of the greatest areas of concern in New York for heroin and opioid deaths in recent years, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Suffolk County Police Commissioner Tim Sini said the county has had more than 100 opioid-related overdoses for several consecutive years.

The issue is not just in New York. According to the CDC, from 2005 to 2014, drug overdose deaths have risen by 144 percent to 2,300 deaths in New York and 58 percent to 47,055 deaths in the nation.

Dr. Joanne Fowler has studied how the human brain changes as a result of drug use since the late 1980s at stops including Brookhaven National Lab. She shared some of her decades of findings with those in attendance.

“When you think about addiction, it’s a really complex problem, and you have many, many factors that play into it,” she said. “Addiction, I would call, the loss of control of a behavior even though it’s causing a lot of problems to the individual. It’s a very destructive behavior that the individual can’t stop even though they want to stop.”

Fowler said the age in which an individual begins a behavior, like using drugs, can play a large roll in addiction because the part of the brain susceptible to addiction takes time to mature.

“The frontal cortex is a very important part of the brain,” she said. “It matures very slowly, so you really don’t have a mature frontal cortex until your early twenties.”

Dr. Zachary Jacobs, who works as a counselor for children at Stony Brook, discussed some risk factors for children and adolescents that could lead down a path of addiction, and some are out of a parent’s control.

“We’ve heard a lot about what parents and family can do, and I’m here to say despite your best efforts, it still might not be enough,” he said. “Despite a strong family, great, open communication, sometimes adolescents are just going to become their own individuals that disagree with family and societal norms … peers become so much more important than family, I’m sorry to say that.”

He recommended open communication and education as a means to combat potentially addictive, hazardous behaviors in children and adolescents to at least avoid issues with addiction, but total prevention is not that simple, he said.

Celina Wilson started Bridge of Hope Resource Center. She is the mother of three children, and she identified several risk factors parents should look for as potential signs of addiction. Insecurity pertaining to body image or loneliness, stress, life-changing events such as a divorce or death in the family, bullying, failure or rejection, depression, academic challenges, failure in competitive sports, a need for acceptance and several others were the factors Wilson suggested parents should be wary of and could be the root of later addiction.

“We have to help our teens better understand the world,” Wilson said. “We have to explain and review risks with them as much as possible.”

St. Charles nurse battling breast cancer

by TBR Staff - October 31, 2016

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nursesw — St. Charles Hospital nurses and other staff wear pink bracelets as a sign of support for Desiree Bielski-Stoff, who is battling breast cancer. Photo from Bielski-Stoff

By Rebecca Anzel

Registered nurse at St. Charles Hospital in Port Jefferson Desiree Bielski-Stoff knows what a lump feels like — she had a small one removed from her left breast when she was 20. Since then, she performed self-examinations regularly and, coupled with her medical knowledge, thought she was “pretty good” at self-assessment.

In September, Bielski-Stoff, who is now 37, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Less than a month later, she had a double mastectomy at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan.

Bielski-Stoff waits to enter the operating room before her double mastectomy Oct. 4. Photo from Bielski-Stoff

“I was looking for something like that mass in my left breast, something I could feel,” she said. “It wasn’t like a lighted sign going ‘Bling Bling, you have cancer — you have a mass in your breast,’ and I think that’s what we think we’re supposed to be looking for.”

October is national Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and Bielski-Stoff has been sharing her story with friends and family in the hopes they will not have to go through what she experienced. Every two minutes, a woman in the U.S. is diagnosed with breast cancer, a disease that kills more than 40,000 women each year, according to Right at Home, a senior care organization.

On average, women develop breast cancer at age 61. Bielski-Stoff’s diagnosis rattled her family, friends and coworkers. She has worked at the hospital since 2004.

“It’s eye-opening for all of us — I’m her age, you know? You never know,” Kim Audiino, an emergency room nurse at St. Charles Hospital and friend of Bielski-Stoff, said. “I think people need to open their eyes and be more alert about checking themselves.”

Bielski-Stoff was getting dressed after taking a shower in August when out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her right breast collapsed when she lifted her arm. Her first thought, she said, was that it was due to the 10 pounds she recently lost for her sister’s upcoming wedding. Bielski-Stoff conducted a brief self-exam, finding nothing out of the ordinary — nothing was swollen and she did not feel any lumps.

She showed her gynecologist that Wednesday. Bielski-Stoff said the doctor cocked her head, commented that it looked like a dimple and gave her a script for a mammogram and an ultrasound. The doctor told her it was probably nothing but she wanted to be on the safe side.

Her appointment was Sept. 7 at St. Charles with Dr. Jane Marie Testa, a doctor her coworkers recommended after Bielski-Stoff insisted she wanted to see the best. George, her husband, had asked if she wanted him to go with her, but she said no — she did not want to make it a big deal.

“I remember driving there and pulling up in the parking lot and thinking, either this is going to go in a good way or it’s not,” Bielski-Stoff said, “like, this could be the last time I feel normal.”

The tests took a few hours. When they were over, Testa came in and said she wanted to show Bielski-Stoff a few things with the ultrasound. There was a spot on her left breast the doctor wanted to take a sample of, and one on her right. Then Testa hovered over another spot on her right breast and said she was sorry — it was cancer.

There was no question about what it was, Bielski-Stoff said. It was a classic presentation of a cancerous mass. It was irregularly shaped and had vascularity and calcifications. Questions were flying through her mind about whether her life was over, if she would be in pain and if she was going to be okay, she said.

“The feeling that comes over you when somebody says cancer is just, I started crying,” Bielski-Stoff said. “I thought, ‘How do I absorb this right now. It was everything all at once — fear, a lot of fear.”

Her sister’s wedding was that weekend, so she booked the biopsies for the following Wednesday. Then she set about trying to find a surgeon.

Bielski-Stoff’s insurance company told her there was only one in network near her, so she turned to her coworkers at St. Charles for advice. With the help of her supervisor and the head of human resources, Bielski-Stoff learned the doctors at Memorial Sloan Kettering were covered.

The surgeon gave her two options: either Bielski-Stoff could get a lumpectomy with radiation or she could get a mastectomy. She opted for a double mastectomy.

“I have to live with this. This is what I can live with,” she said about her decision. “I’m young, 37. I can’t spend the rest of my life panicking that I’m getting cancer again.”

“The feeling that comes over you when somebody says cancer is just, I started crying. I thought, ‘How do I absorb this right now. It was everything all at once — fear, a lot of fear.”

— Desiree Bielski-Stoff

Her surgery was Oct. 3. Two weeks later, all the drains were out and she was sore but doing well. The support from her friends at St. Charles helped her through the experience, she said. They visited her every day, bringing her flowers and food, watching movies with her, checking her dressings, helping her bathe and delivering her medicine from the pharmacy.

“We were pretty much her nanny 24/7 while her husband was working,” Audiino said. “She was never alone, and she had more care than anyone I’ve seen because she’s so well-known and well-liked. We love her to pieces.”

Audiino and another friend, Colleen Miller, raised just about $600 selling over 150 pink bracelets around the hospital. Her Facebook page is littered with pictures of coworkers wearing their bracelets — some say Faith, others say Hope and Survivor. The funds paid for the hotel room Bielski-Stoff’s husband stayed in the night before her surgery.

St. Charles is letting employees donate their vacation time to Bielski-Stoff. She has exhausted hers between her cancer experience and working on the hospital’s negotiating team.

“All of us at St. Charles wish Desiree the best of health — I am very proud of our staff for supporting Desiree during this difficult time,” Jim O’Connor, executive vice president and chief administrative officer at St. Charles, said in an email. “Their gesture also brings awareness to this important health issue and the need for screening and early detection.”

Others have been doing what they can to show their support as well. A former patient’s family drove to her house from the North Shore to drop off supermarket gift cards, and her sister set up a GoFundMe account.

Bielski-Stoff said this experience has been traumatic because it feels like she does not just have cancer, but all her friends and family do. Her diagnosis has made the people around her aware of the importance of conducting self-examinations and going to a doctor regularly.

“It made me have a different look on life and it definitely opened my eyes to making sure that I take care of myself and my children, and that all of my friends keep up with checking for themselves,” Miller, a nursing assistant at St. Charles, said. “In the meantime, we all have to be ‘Dezzy strong,’ as I call it, and be there for her while she’s recovering.”

Bielski-Stoff found out on Halloween she’ll need four months of chemotherapy.

“That’s going to change me as well and make the fight a little bit harder,” she said.

Bielski-Stoff’s friend Jimmy Bonacasa is hosting a fundraiser for her at the Harbor Crab in Patchogue Sunday, Nov. 13, from 4 to 8 p.m. There is a suggested donation of $20.

This version was updated Nov. 1 to include Bielski-Stoff’s treatment plan.

Port Jeff pounds Southold for Class C county crown

by Desirée Keegan - October 31, 2016

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Although it may sound cliché, the Port Jefferson girls’ soccer team is more than a team — the Royals really are a family.

The current group of seniors has seen very little change over the last three years. They’ve formed a cohesive unit, bought into coaches Allyson Wolff and Michele Aponte’s system and specialize in doing the little things necessary to win. Having lost just two seniors to graduation in the last two years, they’ve created a unique atmosphere that’s helped them see state playoff action each of the last two seasons. Now the defending state champions are hungry for their second consecutive title.

On Oct. 28, the Royals took the next step toward achieving that goal. After going three straight seasons without a League VII loss, and losing just once the season before that, Port Jefferson claimed another county crown with an 8-0 blanking of Southold.

“In my opinion that was the best game we’ve ever played,” said senior co-captain Jillian Colucci, who netted a hat trick and two assists on five shots. “Our possession was on point and our connections were there.”

“When we played them earlier in the season they were really tight on defense, so we practiced pulling back our defense and spreading them out to have more room with the forwards.”

—Grace Swords

The Royals were relentless — producing 39 shots and eight corner kicks. Clearly Port Jefferson learned from their 1-1 tie to Southold back on Sept. 23.

“When we played them earlier in the season they were really tight on defense, so we practiced pulling back our defense and spreading them out to have more room with the forwards,” said senior Grace Swords, who scored once and assisted twice in the win.

Colucci was first to light up the scoreboard after her teammates made several attempts to knock one in past Southold’s junior goalkeeper Hayley Brigham. She scored on a through ball from senior defensive midfielder Mikayla Yanucci.

“She always finds the ball no matter where I kick it,” Yanucci said of her teammate. “I knew if I passed it in between players she’d go from wherever she was to get to it. She found the ball, and she finished it. That was a great way to start off the game.”

Once Port Jefferson gets the ball rolling it’s difficult to slow down their momentum.

Two minutes after scoring, Colucci added another goal off an assist from senior forward Brittany Fazin.

“We needed to possess the ball,” Fazin said. “We knew not to force it. They’re bigger than us and they’re better in the air, so we tried to keep it down on the ground, keep it low and move the ball around until we scored.”

Fazin moved to Port Jefferson last year, but she fit right in quickly with the other forwards. She was second on the Royals in goals in both of her seasons with the team.

“Playing together for the last few years helped us grow a connection with each other,” Fazin said. “We know where each other is going to go and where to pass to each other; who plays best where. Coming to Port Jefferson I never expected any of this. Being this successful with a team is something I never thought I’d experience in my life.”

“Playing together for the last few years helped us grow a connection with each other. We know where each other is going to go and where to pass to each other; who plays best where.”

—Brittany Fazin

Senior Alexa Wakefield and eighth-grader Hailey Hearney also added goals, before Colucci finished the game with her hat trick goal. While she receives the spotlight for scoring, Colucci said the team atmosphere and her surrounding Royals play major roles in her success.

“I’m playing with 10 other people I grew up playing with,” she said. “We have our own quirky things — our cheers and song for each season. It’s crazy that it’s our last ride, but we’re making memories to last a lifetime.”

Because of their bond and level of play to this point, Yannucci said if the team continues to play like it did in the county title game, they’re going to be back upstate this month. The defense put together another solid showing from the back line, led by senior co-captain Corinne Scannell. Junior goalkeeper Brianna Scarda barely saw any action, and neither did sophomore goalkeeper Sarah Hull in the game against Southold. Each had to make just one save. Despite the score, Brigham made 27 saves for Southold.

Port Jefferson will play in the Long Island championship game Nov. 5. The Royals do not know who their Nassau opponent will be, and the time and place has yet to be announced.

“We’re going to go out hard and never give up, because that’s how Port Jeff plays — we never give up,” Yanucci said, looking ahead to the next round. “These girls are literally my family and I’m going to be so upset when this is all over. I’m just so happy to share this experience with all of my best friends.”

Swords echoed her teammate’s sentiments.

“The pressure is on, but we are a good team,” she said. “This is our final year playing together and if we just keep our heads in the game and put everything we have into it, we’ll go far. This is all so surreal. We’ve become a family over the last three years and to finish it off with a state title is all we want.”

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