This is the season for speeches. We’re about to enter the graduation and wedding time of year, when principals, best men, maids of honor and valedictorians stand in front of a group of people and share their thoughts during these momentous occasions.
For those about to grab the microphone, I’d like to offer my top 10 list of things not to do in a speech — in reverse order.
10. Don’t make inside jokes that no one, outside of your best friend and maybe your sibling, understands. Looking at your friend after you’ve made a joke that no one gets and pointing back and forth between this other person and you only endangers that friendship.
9. Don’t make a speech without practicing. Find someone who can be helpful and not someone who thinks you shouldn’t change anything you do, ever. That honest person might prevent you from saying, “The groom is so lucky. He gets to sleep with Karen — I always wanted to sleep with Karen. I can’t wait to hear about it.”
8. Don’t correct yourself on small details, such as, “Remember when we had that school snowball fight in second grade? No, wait it was first grade, right? No, no, it was second grade. I was right the first time.” Most people won’t care about those details. They’d rather you got it wrong than hear you go play a one person game of memory ping-pong.
7. Don’t forget to thank everyone you should thank. You can acknowledge your friends for helping you get through those tough years, the writers of your favorite movies for giving you a chance to laugh, and the woman at the supermarket for encouraging you to submit an application that got you into a summer program. Never forget to thank your parents, any relatives who are in attendance and the teachers who somehow managed to educate you despite your insistence that their subject was irrelevant.
6. Don’t imagine that alcohol makes you a better singer. It doesn’t. Besides, there’s always an enormous collection of cellphones at any wedding. You can’t erase that horrible rendition of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.” Ever. Strangers will come up to you and screech at you.
5. Don’t quote someone else extensively. Winston Churchill was a tremendous speechmaker, JFK said some memorable things, too, as did Martin Luther King Jr. Audiences can read and have no desire to hear you butcher an extensive collection of words someone else delivered.
4. Don’t try to sell something. You’re there to support the graduate, the bride and groom and numerous families. This isn’t the time to suggest that people moved by your speech can pick up tissues at your store
because you sell the softest tissues in town.
3. Don’t talk about how difficult it is for you to give a speech. Chances are the audience supports you
anyway, so there is no need to tell them, over and over again. If you aren’t particularly good at public speaking, they’ll notice.
2. Don’t look down at your poorly written notes during the entire speech. If you look up once in a while, you won’t sound like you’re muttering anecdotes and advice in your sleep.
1. Don’t give a long speech. The most important part of any speech is to keep it short. Sure, you might be funny and have some words of wisdom that people will remember. And, yes, you might recall an
anecdote that sheds light on the people in your class. People want to eat dessert, go to a party, or throw their ridiculous square hats with tassels into the air for the annual picture of stupid hats in the air. A good rule of thumb for speeches: When in doubt, leave it out.
Michelle, Cari and Katelyn Gostic are sisters who were each named valedictorian or salutatorian at Shoreham-Wading River High School. Photo from the Gostics
By Kevin Redding
At Shoreham-Wading River High School, siblings share more than genes.
When Advanced Placement student and track star Anthony Peraza graduated at the top of his class, he wasn’t just following in the footsteps of his older brother, Matthew, who was named salutatorian in 2014.
The soon-to-be Cornell University engineering student was also carrying on an ongoing tradition in the district, which, since 2006, has seen a total of five sets of siblings graduate in the top percent of their classes, as valedictorian or salutatorian.
Those on the list, which now includes the Perazas, are William Throwe, named valedictorian in 2006, and his sister, Emily, salutatorian in 2009; Katelyn Gostic, valedictorian of her graduating class in 2009, whose drive to succeed from an early age set the bar for her sisters, Michelle, salutatorian in 2011, and Cari, valedictorian in 2013; Iris Yu, 2010 salutatorian, and her sister, Spring, the 2015 valedictorian; and Maxwell Maritato, who was named valedictorian in 2014, two years before his brother, Nicholas, who gave his salutatorian speech in 2016.
“For any student to become a valedictorian is an amazing achievement, but to have several sets of siblings be at the top of their classes really is a testament to the families,” Shoreham-Wading River High School Principal Dan Holtzman said in an email.
“I think Anthony saw the adulation his brothers received and was like, ‘oh, I’m going to be like that.’”
— Rosemary Peraza
In the Peraza household, education was always priority No. 1.
Raised by two high school chemistry teachers, Anthony and his older brothers — Matthew, 20, entering his senior year at Cornell University this fall, and Michael, 24, a Cornell graduate working for the county as an environmental engineer — were taught the importance of structure and academics from the moment they could breathe, according to their father, Tony, a retired teacher and coach at Longwood Senior High School.
“When Anthony was about four, my wife and I used to run with him while [also] working on vocabulary and times tables,” his father said, laughing that he was the “drill sergeant” parent while his wife was the more affectionate one. “He knew what was expected of him as the youngest.”
Anthony’s mother Rosemary, a teacher at West Babylon High School, said the brothers are close, support one another and each have a strong work ethic.
“I think Anthony saw the adulation his brothers received and was like, ‘oh, I’m going to be like that,’” she said.
But while Matthew and Michael had to be pushed sometimes to get in gear, their father said that was never needed for Anthony.
“He was self-motivated — he would get up on time, would get most of his work done before he got home, [and] always gave us perfect report cards since grammar school, A-plus’s all the way down,” Tony Peraza said. “He just seemed to get it.”
Aside from running cross country and playing alto sax in the jazz band throughout high school, Anthony Perazatook several AP classes, in physics, chemistry, calculus, music theory, U.S. history, literature and even scored a high grade on an AP biology exam his freshman year even though he did not take the class.
Michael, Anthony and Matthew Peraza have added to a sibling trend of valedictorians and salutatorians at Shoreham-Wading River High School. Photo from the Perazas
“My brother’s grades set pretty high standards, so I felt I needed to do that too, and not let anyone down,” he said. “Early on, it was drilled into my brain ‘do homework first, get it done.’”
On his younger brother’s achievements, Matthew Peraza said, “Anthony really got what he deserved. He’s worked hard and he had it figured out. I’m really proud.”
That same inherent motivation also drove the Gostic sisters in high school, where each of them excelled as three-season athletes, AP students and extracurricular leaders.
But as far as sisterly competition goes, Katelyn Gostic, 26, who was student government president, said there wasn’t much of it.
“We all sort of just followed each other’s examples … all three of us were independently wired to work really hard and take pride in what we did,” said the oldest sister, a Princeton University graduate currently pursuing her doctorate at the University of California, Los Angeles. “We were all so busy.”
Michelle Gostic, 24, currently at the Delft University of Technology Dutch in the Netherlands to get her coastal engineering degree, said having Katelyn as an older sister served as inspiration.
“I always admired her and had it in my head that she was in another league, so I never compared myself to her,” Michelle said with a laugh. “Any motivation we had was definitely from within.”
She said both her parents — Rich Gostic, a science teacher at Hampton Bays High School, and Sherry Gostic, a physical therapy instructor at Stony Brook University — instilled in them an appreciation for learning without putting pressure on them.
“My husband and I are proud parents, but I have to say the girls were very much self-disciplined and driven, and we really did not play a big role in what they have accomplished,” their mother said. “It just turned out the way it did without anybody really trying to accomplish any kind of goal.”
As the youngest, Cari Gostic, 22, said working hard was a habit that I grew up with and modeled.
“I came home and did my work because that’s what Michelle and Katelyn did, and it has worked out really well for me,” said the recent Cornell graduate, who finished a semester early with a degree in atmospheric science.
“We all sort of just followed each other’s examples … all three of us were independently wired to work really hard and take pride in what we did.”
— Katelyn Gostic
When Maxwell Maritato, 20, was in seventh grade, the engineer-in-training at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute recalls coming home and asked his mother Dorothy, “What would you say if I got an 85 on my science test?” to which she responded, “That wouldn’t be too bad.”
But when he told her that was the grade he got on his science test, she said, “Aw come on, you can do better than that.”
“I was like, ‘alright, let me see if I can do better,’ so it started out as wanting to please my parents a bit and it took off from there,” said Maritato, whose father, Peter, is the chair of the engineering department at Suffolk County Community College.
His mother said family always came first but stressed the importance of school.
“We encouraged them to get their work done before they played,” the physical therapy instructor said. “They were both bright from the get-go, and mature for their age. We consider ourselves lucky they were such good kids.”
By high school, Maxwell Maritato was student government president, a member of the National Honors Society, a volleyball and track standout and leagues above his classmates when it came to academics.
But younger brother Nicholas, currently pursuing a biomedical engineering degree at Johns Hopkins University, said he never felt pressured to achieve anything his brother did.
“It was definitely more inspiring to see the work he did pay off the way like it did, and it pushed me to strive to do my best,” he said, adding that any competition between the two was in good fun. “We were really good friends growing up.”
When Nicholas, an AP student, varsity volleyball and track athlete and Eagle Scout, was named salutatorian, his brother Maxwell had just a few words to say: “I saw it coming from miles away.”
Mount Sinai seniors show off their diplomas. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Siani seniors take to the field to receive theri diplomas on graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors wait to receive their diplomas. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors sing on graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai's band performs for the parting seniors during commencement. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai valedictorian Ben May addresses his peers on graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors receive their diplomas. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors decorated caps for the 2017 commencement cermeony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors bid farewell on graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai salutatorian Helene Marinello speaks to the Class of 2017. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors perform during the 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors decorated caps for the 2017 commencement cermeony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors celebrate graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Mount Sinai seniors hit the field June 24 to celebrate the end of their high school careers.
Valedictorian Ben May and salutatorian Helene Marinello shared parting words with the Class of 2017, many of whom were donned with decorative caps signifying places gone and what’s to come.
May spoke about the class being the last to have been born in the 20th century, and technically the final group of 90’s kids to graduate.
“We have the best chance of anyone alive today to live in three different centuries. We have more opportunities today to learn, develop and achieve great things than ever have veer been seen in the history of the human race,” he said. “Let’s go out into the world ready not to be the best person in the room, but also ready to strive to become better. If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.”
He finished with a fond memory from freshman year.
“Midway through our class trip to Six Flags, it started raining, and all of the rides began to close and most people sought shelter inside,” May said. “However, we were different. In the middle of the storm, we started dancing and playing. In the future, let’s remember to dance when it’s raining.”
This version was updated to correct the spelling of valedictorian Ben May’s name.
Shoreham-Wading River seniors celebrate graduation and bid farewell during the Class of 2017 commencement. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors wait to receive their diplomas. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River Board of Education President John Zukowski addresses the Class of 2017. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River senior Bailey Rand receives her diploma. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors take to the Thomas Cutinella Memorial Field for the Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River senior Emilee Ginley receives her diploma. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River valedictorian Anthony Peraza addresses the Class of 2017 during commencement. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors perform the National Anthem during the Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors split up into rows along the Thomas Cutinella Memorial Field during graduation day. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River salutatorian Kyle Higgins speaks to his peers. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors say goodbye during the Class of 2017 graduation day ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Suffolk County Police Commissioner Tim Sini speaks to Shoreham-Wading River graduates. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors sing on graduation day. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors celebrate graduation with family and friends. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River seniors celebrate graduating by tossing their caps into the air. Photo by Bill Landon
Shoreham-Wading River’s Class of 2017 seniors celebrated graduation day June 25.
Students lined up across the Thomas Cutinella Memorial Field to receive their diplomas and toss their caps in celebration of the completion of high school.
Valedictorian Anthony Peraza and salutatorian Kyle Higgins addressed their peers, and other local officials and board of education members bid farewell. Special speaker Tim Sini, Suffolk County’s police commissioner, also shared some words of wisdom with the parting seniors.
Rocky Point seniors toss their caps in celebration of completing a chapter in their lives. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point valedictorian Pooja Deshpande, salutatorian Nicholas LoCastro and exhortation speaker Natalie Bazata receive their diplomas. Photo by Bill Landon
A father and daughter prepare to congradulate a Rocky Point senior. Photo by Bill Landon
A student is surprised by her brother, who returned from active duty to attend Rocky Point's Class of 2017 graduation ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point seniors decorated their caps for the 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point Board of Education President Susan Sullivan hands out diplomas during the 2017 graduation ceremony. Photo by Bill Lanodn
Rocky Point seniors receive their diplomas during the Class of 2017 graduation ceremony. Photo by Bill Landonr
Rocky Point valedictorian
Pooja Deshpande addresses the Class of 2017. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point seniors decorated their caps for the 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point Class of 2017 speaker Natalie Bazata receives the foreign language award. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point seniors sing during the Class of 2017 graduation ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
A student gets emotional during Rocky Point's Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point senior Matthew Jones wins the computer science award. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point seniors decorated their caps for the 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point salutatorian Nicholas LoCastro speaks to his peers during the Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point's Class of 2017 during the graduation ceremony. Photo by Bill Landon
Rocky Point’s Class of 2017 celebrated graduation day June 23.
Students decorated their caps and proudly displayed old and new school pride during the commencement ceremony inside the auditorium.
Valedictorian Pooja Deshpande, salutatorian Nicholas LoCastro and exhortation speaker Natalie Bazata addressed the crowd and Rocky Point Board of Education President Susan Sullivan handed out the diplomas. Other awards, like best in math, science and foreign language were handed out, along with scholarships.
Students anxiously await receiving their diplomas during Miller Place's Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Caps were decorated across the auditorium during Miller Place's graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place students embrace one another during Miller Place's Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place students toss their caps in the air in celebration of their completion of high school. Photo by Kevin Redding
Members of the band play songs for the seniors during Miller Place's 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place valedictorian William Sussman addresses the Class of 2017. Photo by Kevin Redding
A student shows off his diploma during Miller Place's graduation day ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Caps were decorated across the auditorium during Miller Place's graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place salutatorian salutatorian David Argento speaks to his peers during commencement. Photo by Kevin Redding
Members of the orchestra play songs for the seniors during Miller Place's 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Caps were decorated across the auditorium during Miller Place's graduation day. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place superintendent Marianne Cartisano speaks to her Class of 2017. Photo by Kevin Redding
Families celebrated their loved ones during Miller Place's Class of 2017 commencement. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place students bid farewell during the Class of 2017 commencement ceremony. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place seniors celebrate the end of four years of hihg school, and the beginning of new chapters in their lives. Photo by Kevin Redding
Miller Place seniors got a proper sendoff during the high school’s June 23 commencement ceremony.
Students displayed decorative caps and proudly posed with parents as they bid farewell to one chapter, and readied to begin a new. Miller Place Superintendent Marianne Cartisano, along with valedictorian William Sussman and salutatorian David Argento, were among some of the speakers during the Class of 2017 commencement ceremony.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Emma Sarros.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Emma Sarros.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo by Jenna Lennon.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo by Hansen Lee.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Harborfields High School's graduation ceremony Saturday, June 24. Photo from Harborfields central school district.
A scene from Huntington High School graduation ceremony Friday, June 23. Photo from Huntington school district.
Dressed in green and white cap and gowns, Harborfields High School seniors made their way across the high school gymnasium and received their diploma on June 24. The celebration, which traditionally takes place outdoors, was based inside due to inclement weather but did not dampen the spirits of the proud graduates.
Family members, friends, staff, board members and administrators gathered for the momentous occasion which marked the end of an era for retiring Board President Nicholas Giuliano and a first for Harborfields High School Principal Timothy Russo and Superintendent of Schools Dr. Francesco Ianni.
The stands of the high school gymnasium were filled with anticipated guests as the graduates made their entrance to “Pomp and Circumstance” by Sir Edward Elgar, played by the high school band. The ceremony kicked off with the Pledge of Allegiance, a performance of “The Star Spangled Banner” from the senior members of the high school choir and the Alma Mater.
Russo welcomed those in attendance and Dr. Ianni addressed the graduates. During his speech, he gave special recognition to the board president for his commitment to the board of education for the past 15 years.
“Mr. Giuliano, this is your class,” he said. “The students that you see in front of you were in Washington Drive Primary School when you started and they were the direct recipients of the many decisions that you and the board made during your time at Harborfields. What you have in front of you is one of the best graduating classes that Harborfields has to offer.”
Russo also commended him for his consistent direction and support in the district. He proudly presented him with the first diploma of the ceremony.
Salutatorian Ishaan Lohia addressed his fellow graduates and offered a humorous speech about his high school experience and what he learned over the years, while class president Sean Tully wished his classmates the best of luck in their future endeavors.
In addition, valedictorian Casandra Moisanu spoke to the Class of 2017, reflecting back on their high school years, their outlook for the future and the strong connections made within the graduating class.
“I want everyone to remember that no matter where we end up, we are still an HF Family,” she said. “I know we would all like to see each other succeed and I trust that we will be there for each other in the future.”
Voted on by the graduates, featured speaker and social studies teacher Daniel Greening offered his best wishes, while Russo shared his own praises and encouragement. To leave the students with something to hold onto, Russo gifted each of them with an evergreen tree to help them remember their roots.