Christine Pendergast with her late husband Christopher
By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli
Fr. Francis Pizzarelli
Kindness. It is not a noun but rather an action word. As I’ve been reflecting on the state of our nation and our world and how out-of-control we are, I was thinking about what is profoundly missing and it is genuine kindness.
Random acts of kindness seem to have been lost in the storm of selfishness and narcissism. We can’t have a simple conversation about anything. Words like us and them have further paralyzed any bridge building. Finding common ground seems like an impossible task.
We are a polarized nation. The extremists on both sides are weaponizing our justice system, our schools and even our religions.
I am disappointed in all of our major religious traditions including my own, because our silence means complicity — supporting behaviors and attitudes that lack mercy, compassion and humility.
Our religious voices should be urging that we find a common ground with respect as our foundation. I believe we can change the world for the better with kindness.
Contrary to the cynicism and negativity that is so infectious, I have seen how the heart of kindness can transform people’s lives.
Fifty-one years ago this year, two young idealistic teachers who wanted to change the world got married. One was a science teacher, the other a special education teacher and school administrator; their power of example and kindness inspired generations of students.
Ten years into his teaching career the science teacher was struck with a terminal illness known as ALS-Lou Gehrig’s disease. For more than 27 years, Dr. Christopher Pendergast lived with ALS. He lived with courage, compassion and kindness. His lifelong companion, his wife, walked with him on this challenging journey.
He and his wife founded “The Ride for Life” — a program to raise awareness and money for ALS research that hopefully someday will find a cure. As this disease continued to limit Dr. Pendergast’s ability to move freely, it never impaired his kindness and compassion for others. His random acts of kindness touched so many people throughout his life.
The book that he and his wife co-authored, “Blink Spoken Here: Tale From a Journey to Within,” is a powerful reminder of how kindness and compassion can transform people’s lives.
Having been blessed to know both of them for more than twenty-five years, I saw firsthand the power of kindness and how it touches people’s hearts and changes people’s lives. When my brother at the age of 36 was struck with ALS, they couldn’t do enough for him, his wife and their two children. My family will never forget their compassion and their kindness.
Their power of example reminds me every day that kindness can change the world and be a bridge for building a better tomorrow.
Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.
The name of the book is Blink Spoken Here. It is written by Dr. Christopher Pendergast and Christine Pendergast of Miller Place.
That’s really all you need to know.
That, and please buy the book.
Blink Spoke Here. Dr. Christopher Pendergast and Christine Pendergast.Buy the book.
You don’t need to finish reading this review.
You just need to buy the book.
Blink Spoke Here. Dr. Christopher Pendergast and Christine Pendergast.Please buy the book. Now.
For those who want to know more …
It is easy to say that this is an important book — because it is. It is about exceptional bravery in the face of unfathomable adversity.It is about a man who has defied the odds and lived with one of the single most difficult and devastating diseases:ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Emphasis on lived with. It is told in his words, with the assistance of his wife.
Authors Dr. Christopher Pendergast and Christine Pendergast
The title refers to how he wrote the book, with an eye-controlled device, as he does not have the use of his hands or his voice. His journey began with the diagnosis in 1993 and continues to this very day — to the very moment that you are reading this sentence. The average lifespan with ALS is two to five years; Dr. Pendergast has survived for twenty-seven. There is no medical answer as to why. But perhaps the Universe has chosen him for bigger reasons. Two of them? First: his bringing awareness to this monstrous affliction through his inspirational Ride For Life. Second: He has written this book.
In 1993, Dr. Pendergast had been a teacher for twenty-three years, married to his childhood sweetheart, Christine.At the time of his diagnosis, he was in the Northport school district, and he continued to teach in the classroom for as long as possible. When that was no longer an option, he continued as a teacher for the world. Blink Spoken Here is a portrait of a teacher in the best sense of the word.His passion to impart knowledge has infused his entire life.
Beginning with a description of the disease’s arc, he brings us into his world:
“It was not a dramatic event like a building collapse but a more steady deterioration similar to a bridge failure. I was imploding. In 1993, my physical presence began shrinking before my very eyes. My contact with the world was severing, one function at a time.Angry, scared and saddened I was like a stubborn mule fighting with tenacity for each inch I surrendered. First it was dressing, followed by grooming, driving, toileting, walking, feeding, and breathing. Now I cling to my last vestiges of talking. It forced me retreat towards within. The exterior husband, father, and friend was left behind.”
Dr. Pendergast is unflinching in his brutal honesty about the pains and the challenges. He shares some of the darkest moments in his life. But, just as often, he speaks of hope and appreciation and deep faith. Many of the simplest things that we take for granted have been taken from Dr. Pendergast.And yet, in all of this, he manages to find not just the good in life but the lessons that are offered every day.
If these are not good enough reasons to read this book (and they should be), it is also a beautiful piece of writing. Dr. Pendergast writes with extraordinary eloquence and sincerity, with humor and insight. His prose is exquisite. He shares anecdotes and parables, free verse and personal accounts. The craft is equal to the art and both are worthy of the humanity that created it.
The memoir is split into two sections.The first focuses on his coming to terms with the disease and its myriad challenges. (The first half even concludes with a wicked send-up of Dr. Seuss.)
The second half of the book focuses on the Ride for Life, which began in 1998 as the Ride to Congress. It follows his goals of bringing national awareness to ALS as well as an increase in services, knowledge, and fundraising. Taking his cue from the activism of the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, he finds his inspiration:
“For me, the remarkable results of these movements underscored the power of choosing to make a difference. The activists of those movements did more than complain about these wrongs; rather they opted to fight for change.This activism formed a model in my subconscious. I followed this model 40 years later.”
The initial support of his home school in Northport proves that it takes a village — or at least a district. Over the years, the Ride has evolved and has focused its activities in New York and Long Island.
From the “weight of secrecy” to his global advocacy, this is an odyssey that is both far-reaching and personal. His love for his wife and family and for his community comes through at every turn. This is a man who does not curse the darkness but moves towards the light.
“Life is too short to spend wishing things were not so. Things are what they are. Some occurrences are not our choice. However, we do choose how to respond. We decide how to live the life we get.”
There are too many incredible moments to enumerate. Even the description of the challenge of opening an envelope is a revelation. There is a particularly telling incident with his son and church. It is a lesson in forgiveness and perspective, and its reverberations reflect his own continuing journey.
The final chapter, entitled “The First Amendment,” is a crushing account of his loss of the ability to speak: “To the educator, the voice is a powerful tool. It commands respect, informs and on occasion, inspires. The voice becomes our signature for the world. Losing it is catastrophic.”
Dr. Pendergast describes the gradual decline in his vocal power and the various methods of communication. His frustration is honest and palpable just as his deep belief that his and all voices should be heard in one form or another.He advocates for those who are desperately ill with ALS and that this basic human right should not terminate at the hospital door.
“Speech is freedom. Communication is the connection to the outside world. We all have a right to be heard … I want to be able to speak, even if it is only one blink at a time.”
This chapter brilliantly closes the book. Because while he may have lost the physical voice, his spiritual voice continues. It is powerful. It commands respect. It informs. And, truly and always, it inspires.
Once again.
Blink Spoken Here. Dr. Christopher Pendergast and Christine Pendergast.
Don’t wait. Please buy this book. Now.
Blink Spoken Here: Tales From a Journey Within (Apprentice House Press) is available at Book Revue in Huntington, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
Ten years into his teaching career the science teacher was struck with a terminal illness known as ALS-Lou Gehrig’s disease. For more than 27 years, Dr. Christopher Pendergast lived with ALS. He lived with courage, compassion and kindness. His lifelong companion, his wife, walked with him on this challenging journey.
If these are not good enough reasons to read this book (and they should be), it is also a beautiful piece of writing. Dr. Pendergast writes with extraordinary eloquence and sincerity, with humor and insight. His prose is exquisite. He shares anecdotes and parables, free verse and personal accounts. The craft is equal to the art and both are worthy of the humanity that created it.
