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Letters to the Editor: Sept. 12, 2024

by TBR Staff - September 12, 2024

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letters_page-scaled-1-700x467-1-1 — File photo by Raymond Janis

Cancer and our environment

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, New York has the fifth highest cancer rate in the country. Each year over 110,000 New Yorkers are diagnosed with cancer and 35,000 die from the disease. One in every two men and one in every three women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. So, we must ask the question why?

In 2001, I founded the not-for-profit, Community Health and Environment Coalition, to address the high rate of cancer in my community. New York State Department of Health released cancer maps which showed areas with elevated cancer rates and as a concerned mother, environmental advocate and a dedicated community leader, I wanted answers. My coalition partnered with elected leaders, medical professionals and residents to challenge the state to do something about this issue, and it did. The state DOH moved forward with the New York State Cancer Mapping Project, also known as the Cancer Surveillance Improvement Initiative, and focused its investigation in Coram, Mount Sinai and Port Jefferson Station as a follow-up investigation.

It’s been 18 years since the report was released, and as I look back and see the higher-than-average elevated breast cancer rates highlighted on the cover of the report, I must ask why isn’t more being done to address the exposure to toxic cancer-causing chemicals?

I was never paid as I led the community in our quest to find answers. I worked with elected officials across party lines, and with Long Island’s most renowned breast cancer advocates including Huntington’s Karen Miller, West Islip’s Lorraine Pace and Babylon’s Debbie Basile. Most folks I worked with thought it was our water, and now decades later experts have identified concerning chemicals in our water including PFAS forever chemicals, and 1,4-dioxane used extensively by military contractors.

After the follow-up cancer investigation report was released, I found that the state DOH used mainly data from its database and did not come to our town to take soil, water and air samples. If a farmer used a pesticide that was not registered, that information was not included. If a company dumped toxic chemicals in the ground, that info was not included. This left more questions than answers.

People are finally understanding that exposure to carcinogen and cancer causing chemicals can have a delayed cancer diagnosis, and it can take decades to see the consequence of toxic exposure, as we’re seeing with 9/11 first responders.

Come on folks, we should expect better than this.

I sat on the Brookhaven National Lab Community Advisory Committee for years as the committee partnered with BNL to clean up contamination. Northrop Grumman and the Navy should do the same for the residents of Bethpage.

I was born on a Navy base. My dad proudly served for decades in the military, but we must hold those who pollute accountable. Mistakes were made decades ago when chemicals were released into our environment. We know better now, and we’ve got work to do so let’s work together to clean up polluted sites and protect residents.

Years ago, I was one of only about five people to attend and advocate to clean up Lawrence Aviation’s groundwater contamination at a public hearing in Port Jefferson.

What followed was a massive effort by the EPA, DEC and Suffolk County Department of Health Services to remediate the contaminant plume.

The government needs to do the same for the groundwater in Bethpage and other contaminated areas on Long Island. I encourage residents to get involved and be part of the solution. Let’s do this together.

So many lives count on it.

Sarah Anker

Mount Sinai

Founder of Community Health and Environment Coalition

Former Suffolk County Legislator

Current NYS Senate Candidate

Editorial: Remembering 9/11 in the year 2024

by TBR Staff - September 12, 2024

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TradeCenterTowersHC1609_source-scaled — File photo

Written by a member of Gen Z

When this editorial appears in our newspapers, it will be one day after the 23rd anniversary of 9/11. A day of which our young adults have no memory.

Members of Gen Z — those in their late teens and early twenties, mostly — were not alive for the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and those on Flight 93, which killed nearly 3,000 people in total, and continue to claim the lives of countless more as a result of 9/11-related illnesses.

Not long after that solemn day, officials started to use the phrase “Never Forget,” as a sort of chant and message of solidarity, used in speeches, at memorials and in everyday life. Just one glance at Instagram or Facebook will show streams of different variations of that phrase, written over pictures, graphics and even just written out.

Many say 9/11 was our modern-day Pearl Harbor, but let’s face it: Who’s left that remembers Pearl Harbor? At least in a way that strikes a personal chord, worth keeping in ongoing conversation.

So, when every student who just graduated college has no recollection of a day in which we have been implored to “Never Forget,” what do we do to rectify that?

Perhaps, make 9/11 a national holiday. The conversation has been in the air for quite a while, but the compromise seemed to be regarding it as the National Day of Service and Remembrance.

Maybe, teach about how those tragic events unfolded in schools. Yes, it is already taught, but perhaps in more detail.

We’ve all heard the stories of horror from our family members who were in the City on that day. Whether our families lost loved ones that day or simply remember the pit in their stomachs as they watched the second plane hit on television, the testimonies are out there.

The answers are not known to this dilemma. Who knows how many members of Gen Z feel personally connected to the day enough to go to a memorial service or watch the names being read on television. In all honesty, who knows for how many more decades the names will be read on television.

All we can hope for is that no matter how many years go by, and how the iterations of national 9/11 celebrations change, as a people we keep 9/11 sacred. Yes, different people have different interactions with 9/11, but together we can all ensure that this day does not fade into the pages of our history shelves, if we don’t want it to.

D. None of the Above: The moment I realized I had to bathe my stinky dog

by Daniel Dunaief - September 11, 2024

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By Daniel Dunaief

This is not so much a shaggy dog story, as a smelly dog story.

I recently brought my dog to a boarding facility for a long weekend. I feel less dog owner guilt that comes from taking him away from home, the cats he barely tolerates, the squirrels he chases, and the bed that serves as a place to sleep, a chew toy and more, because he seems so happy to race through the door to visit with his friends at the facility.

I suspect he’s much more excited to see the people who work there than the other dogs, although he gets along with every dog except the one on the block who attacked him in our driveway when he got away from his owner a few years ago.

Our dog was fine, thanks, but my wife and I try to avoid that aggressive dog whenever we walk our powder puff up and down the block. Sure, our dog now barks angrily when he sees that other dog and even seems to have convinced our neighbor’s dog to snarl and bark in sympathy.

Anyway, I left our dog for the weekend knowing he was in good hands.

When I returned from our trip, I reflexively opened the door to our house slowly, knowing that he often naps against the door. When the door didn’t present any resistance, I also looked down and listened for the tap, tap, tap of his nails across the wood floor.

I knew, of course, that I hadn’t picked him up and that no such tail wagging greeting was coming my way.

At the boarding house, I exchanged banter with the friendly tattooed young man who is a boarding house fixture. I tried to suppress a smile as I waited expectantly for my furry friend.

When he came through the door, he was as happy to go home as he was to visit. He threw his butt and tail into my knees and looked back at me as I pet him.

Mud and moisture in and of themselves don’t necessarily have a foul odor. And yet, somehow, stuck to a furry, matted dog, the scent was overwhelming.

“Hi, puppy!” I shouted repeatedly as I breathed out of my mouth.

When I got him in the car, the stench was so overwhelming that I had to open the windows.

I had far too much work to do to bathe him immediately and was glad my wife wasn’t home to endure the stench. The dog wandered in and out of my home office several times, which made it hard to finish sentences, much less to breathe.

I considered locking him out of the room, but that seemed unfair, especially after we’d been apart for a few days.

Finally, after I finished my work around 9:30 p.m., I climbed into bed, ready to relax and prepare for sleep. Happy to be home, the dog was sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed.

I couldn’t possibly sleep with a foul odor that seemed to get stronger by the second. The scent was so powerful that someone might one day want to consider using it as a smelling salt.

Like “Harry the Dirty Dog” and many others, our dog hates to bathe. And yet, he seemed perfectly happy to head into the bathroom and even to get into the shower. He has, however, figured out how to push open the shower door, which means that he gets covered in water and shampoo and then wanders into the bathroom, shaking sudsy water all over the floor, wall and counter top.

I gave him such a thorough cleaning that he shined in the bathroom light. During the vigorous rub down drying, he moaned.

After his bath, he raced across the house and into the corner where he gets his post bath treat.

Once I settled into bed, I looked for my now sweet-smelling puppy. He and his shiny coat were, of course, in the next room because, after all, what’s the fun of sleeping near me when he smells like flowers and not smelly dog?

Between You and Me: Don’t be timid about eating in a restaurant alone

by Leah Dunaief - September 11, 2024

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By Leah S. Dunaief

The first time I ate in a restaurant alone, I was propositioned. It happened like this. I was attending the New York Press Association Convention in the Albany area in 1978. We had only recently started the first newspaper, and I was eager to learn as much as possible about my industry.

I checked into the hotel ahead of my staff the night before the workshops were to begin, dropped my bag in my room, then went to the dining room for some supper.

“One, please,” I said to the maître d’ and was shown to a table for two along the wall. Feeling adventurous, I looked around the room, noticed that there were mostly men quietly eating together, then studied the menu and ordered my meal. It was a new experience for me, and I was enjoying my entrepreneurial role, stepping out in the business world. As I began to eat, a man in a suit approached.

“Hello,” he said with a grin. “How are you doing”?

I looked up, trying to recognize him. I had already met some of the other publishers but he was not one of them.

He threw down his room key at the edge of the table. “Come up in about an hour,” he instructed with a wink, his grin widening.

“Do I know you?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m the owner of the automobile dealership across the street,” he appeared to be boasting.

There was a long pause as we stared at each other some seconds. Then he mumbled something, the grin disappearing, picked up his key, turned and left the dining room. At that point, it dawned on me what he was saying. I suddenly felt alone.

Fast forward to today. The CNN headline reads, “More people than ever are eating alone at restaurants.” It’s almost half a century later, women are totally commonplace in business and eateries are welcoming solo customers.

In fact, OpenTable was quoted as saying that reservations for parties of one at sit-down restaurants had increased 8 percent in the last year, and that among 2000 of their patrons whom they surveyed in June, 60 percent had dined alone in the past year, including 68 percent of Gen Z and Millennials. Long gone were the days when single diners had to be accompanied by a book, pretend to be a restaurant critic with a pad and pencil beside the plate, or sit at a bar. Eateries are taking their cue and making pleasant and even social seating for solos.

So why this 180 degree change? It reflects societal change.

One explanation offered by CNN is that it’s convenient, with no cooking or cleaning up to do at home. Some are just trying out new restaurants. “Social media has made it easier for people to find restaurants well-suited for a meal alone.” Most telling is that some 30 percent of Americans live alone. People are marrying later and only 37 percent ages 25-39 are married with children. That compared to 67 percent in 1970. This last group is made up of those most likely to be eating meals at home and those missing from this last group are swelling the ranks of the solo diners.

In a recent survey of 1200 consumers, 60 percent felt comfortable eating alone at a casual dining restaurant.

CNN further suggested that some solo diners saw eating alone as ‘me time,’ a way of unplugging and treating themselves in an otherwise busy schedule. It’s also a way to make connections, if one wishes, chatting with bartenders, waiters, and other guests without any social pressure.

You might think that restaurateurs would not like a solo diner instead of a couple, but remember, restaurants sell seats, not tables, and they are finding ways to accommodate this new trend.

So if you feel shy about going to eat alone, just go to the restaurant of your choosing, and you will find you will be welcomed without anyone caring.

Editorial: ‘I believe the children are our future …’ – Whitney Houston

by TBR Staff - September 8, 2024

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Since schools reopened following the pandemic, more than a quarter of students missed at least 10% of the 2021-22 school year, making them chronically absent. That is an estimated 6.5 million more students than before the pandemic, according to a Stanford University study, conducted in partnership with The Associated Press.

But, that is not the only price our students have paid, as a result of the pandemic. The time away created massive academic setbacks, and transformed our classrooms from that of pen and paper to computerized, at-home assignments — to this day. Our children no longer can enjoy the pleasures of a snow day, because their work can be accessed from bed.

Our children no longer can enjoy the pleasures of a snow day, because their work can be accessed from bed.

And, to boot, a mere 13% of K-12 students give their school an A on making them excited about learning, according to a recent Gallup and Walton Family Foundation-State of American Youth survey.

So, with the U.S. ranked only 38th in math scores and 24th in science, according to a 2015 study, what can we do to keep our children engaged, and focused on their school work?

TBR News Media offers a these suggestions, from our online research:

1. Maintain open communication with your child’s teachers and school administration. Your continued positive involvement shows your child that you value their education.

2. Involve your kids with nature. The more relaxed your children are, the greater the likelihood they will develop sharp critical-thinking skills, and maintain focus.

3. Offer incentives. It is no secret that any reward — no matter how small — is psychologically proven to bolster work performance.

4. Support teachers. With the added stresses of adapting to challenging learning environments, it is important to offer cooperation and compassion.

5. Provide hands-on learning opportunities, when possible. Tactile learning is shown to be much more engaging, stimulating and far more likely to be retained and implemented in daily life. In other words, it can feel more useful to a child, than worksheets, which can be repetitive and uninteresting.

Remember, Whitney Houston was onto something!

St. James homicides spark conversation on resources for domestic violence victims

by Daniel Dunaief - September 8, 2024

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Mentalhealth — Photo METRO Creative Graphics

By Daniel Dunaief

The murders last week of Kelly Coppola and her boyfriend Kenneth Pohlman in St. James were the nightmare every supporter of victims of domestic violence works hard to prevent.

After prosecutors charged Daniel Coppola, Kelly’s ex-husband, with two counts of murder, police reportedly shared that the family had one domestic incident from when the couple was married.

Kathleen Monahan, associate Professor in the Stony Brook University School of Social Welfare. Photo courtesy Kathleen Monahan

Domestic violence is “an ongoing problem and an ongoing public health issue,” said Kathleen Monahan, associate professor in the School of Social Welfare at Stony Brook University. “When you’re talking about 30 percent of the female population being battered at least once during their lifetime, you’re talking about a really big problem.”

After the murders, agencies on Long Island that work steadily to avoid such a horrific outcome “kick into high gear” and “try to mobilize women that we think are in real danger,” Monahan added.

Women aren’t the only ones exposed to domestic violence, as children sometimes see it directly or hear it while they are hiding in another room. Recent estimates suggest that between 3.3 million and 10 million children are exposed to domestic violence each year, according to the Domestic Violence Services Network.

In the St. James homicides, Coppola told his 15-year-old daughter to wait in the car while he allegedly committed the murders.

Indeed, while the vast majority of these violent incidents don’t result in death, they do present an untenable situation for victims, some of whom receive ongoing verbal, emotional, financial and physical abuse in the course of an unhealthy relationship.

Abusers sometimes break down their victims, criticizing them and damaging their ego, while getting them to question their judgment or mental abilities.

Domestic violence is often about “power and control,” said Wendy Linsalata, Executive Director at L.I. Against Domestic Violence. “Any time a survivor is working to take back the power and control over their life, [the abuser] feels the anger increase” as does the danger.

L.I. Against Domestic Violence offers a 24-hour confidential hotline, 631-666-8833, that people who are struggling with domestic violence can call for help.

“If something doesn’t feel right to you, follow your instincts,” urged Linsalata. “As minor as it is, reach out to us. You’re not wasting our time. We won’t judge what you’re feeling or thinking.”

Linsalata suggested that domestic violence is not primarily or exclusively caused by alcohol or mental health problems that affect the abuser.

Research has demonstrated that taking away alcohol from an abuser doesn’t prevent their inappropriate and unwelcome behaviors, Monahan noted.

To be sure, alcohol can remove inhibitions, which exacerbates abusive behaviors.

Mental health problems can also lead people to act violently or inappropriately.

“Can mental health contribute? Sure, but is it the all-out case? No,” Linsalata said.

Prevalent problem

Advocates for domestic violence victims urged people to recognize a pervasive problem in their interactions with someone who is abusive.

“This can happen to anyone at any time, regardless of their socioeconomic status, their race, ethnicity, gender, sexual identify, or sexual orientation,” Linsalata said. “This happens across the board.”

Abusive behavior often starts early in a relationship and can appear to involve paying close attention.

When someone needs to know where their partner is at every hour, needs to check their partner’s phone and wants to monitor their partner’s communications or connections, they may be seeking to exert excessive control.

How to help

Advocates offered advice about how friends and family can help others who may be living with domestic abuse.

“If [someone] discloses something to you, please believe them,” said Linsalata. Their partners can seem friendly, personable and charming, but they may, and often are, completely different when they are alone with their domestic partners or families.

“Let them know you’re a safe person to talk to,” said Alberta Rubin, Senior Director of Client Services at Safe Center Long Island. “You’re not going to push them to do something. You want to be there for them.”

Linsalata urged people to recognize that the violence or abuse is “never the fault of the victim” and the “onus is on the person making the choice to abuse them.”

Residents or family members can also call the L.I. Against Domestic Violence hotline for tips on how to start the conversation with those they believe need help.

“Don’t tell them what to do or say, ‘I wouldn’t stay for that’ or ‘I would go to court and get an order of protection,’” Linsalata suggested.

If she noticed a family member was struggling in a relationship, Monahan would express her concern and ask how she can help.

Professionally, she’d let a survivor know that he or she could be in danger and can receive support from organizations on Long Island or from therapists.

Preventing abuse

Groups throughout Long Island have been working to help students understand the need to respect boundaries and to avoid becoming abusers or predators.

The Crime Victims Center Executive Director Laura Ahearn. Photo courtesy Laura Ahearn

Laura Ahearn, Executive Director of The Crime Victims Center, highlighted the “Enough is Enough” program which she said Gov. Kathy Hochul (D) spearheaded to prevent relationship violence and sexual assault on campuses in New York.

Efforts at preventing these kinds of abusive relationships have started in middle schools as well, as students learn about healthy boundaries.

Monahan suggested that people don’t start out life as abusers.

“How do you take this beautiful looking baby and put him or her on a pathway to destruction?” she asked. Amid other contributing factors, all the different ways a child is traumatized during “crucial developmental stages can make them angry and without the essential tools to navigate in society.”

Victims advocates point to the importance of an Extreme Risk Protection Order, which prevents people who are thinking about harming themselves or others from purchasing firearms.

“We don’t want to infringe on anyone’s rights,” said Linsalata. “We want to keep people safe.”

Ultimately, advocates urged people to consider the slippery slope of harmful behavior, even from family members or from those they love.

“In the field, we have a saying that, ‘if he hits you once, that’s not going to be the end of it,’” said Monahan. “If he crossed over that line” he could and likely will do it again.

North Shore students head back to school

by TBR Staff - September 7, 2024

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Local students had their first day of school on Tuesday, Sept. 3. Their parents happily saw them off, and the kids were excited to catch up with all of their friends on the bus, and in the parking lot.

Cruise Night Car Show at the Shoppes at East Wind attracts the classics

by Bill Landon - September 7, 2024

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By Bill Landon

As the saying goes, “The show must go on,” and despite high temperatures, in the shared parking lot of East Wind and The Shoppes in Wading River, the show did go on, as it does every Wednesday evening from 5 to 9 p.m. through October with a Cruise Night Car Show.

Packing the lot was a full complement of vintage classic cars and souped up muscle cars, along with the most modern exotic automobiles.

The area’s business owners welcome the enthusiastic, Wednesday night cruisers, because they bring their appetites and peruse the community’s various speciality shops.

— Photos by Bill Landon

NEVER FORGET: North Shore communities commemorate 9/11

by Heidi Sutton - September 7, 2024

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East-Northport-9-11-Service-2015_05w — A 9/11 service at the East Northport Fire Department. Photo by Victoria Espinoz/TBR News Media

Twenty-three years ago, the United States changed forever when hijacked jetliners crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City, the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and a field outside Shanksville, Pennsylvania. At Ground Zero in New York City, the traditional reading of names of each victim will begin at 8:30 a.m. this year at the 9/11 Memorial and the following ceremonies will be held on the North Shore to honor the thousands of lives lost on Sept. 11, 2001, a day that will live forever in our hearts.

Centereach

The Centereach Fire Department, 9 South Washington Ave., Centereach invites the community to join them on Sept. 11 at 7 p.m. for its annual 9/11 Memorial Services and candle lighting ceremony. 631-588-8652

Commack

The Commack School District will present A Night of Reflection in remembrance of 9/11 at the Commack High School football field, 1 Scholar Lane, Commack on Sept. 11 at 6:30 p.m. Call 631-912-2000.

Coram

Join the Coram Fire Department, 202 Middle Country Road, Coram for a remembrance ceremony on Sept. 11 at 7 p.m. 631-732-5733.

East Northport

The East Northport Fire Department, 1 Ninth Ave., East Northport will host a 9/11 candlelight vigil memorial service with neighboring fire departments on Sept. 11 at 8 p.m. 631-261-0360

Hauppauge

The Hauppauge Fire Department, 855 Wheeler Road, Hauppauge will host a Remembrance Ceremony at its 9/11 Memorial on Sept 11 at 7 p.m. featuring the Hauppauge High School choir. 631-265-2499

Huntington

Town of Huntington officials will host a ceremony at the 9/11 memorial at Heckscher Park at the corner of Prime Ave. and Main Street, Huntington on Sept. 7 at noon. 631-351-3012

Mount Sinai

The Mt. Sinai Fire Department will host a 9/11 memorial ceremony at its headquarters, 746 Mount Sinai-Coram Road, Mt. Sinai on Sept. 11 at 7:30 p.m. 631-473-2418

Nesconset

The 9/11 Responders Remembered Park, 316 Smithtown Blvd., Nesconset will host its annual memorial service and naming ceremony on Sept. 14 at 10 a.m. 631-724-3320

Port Jefferson

— The Order Sons and Daughters of Italy in America Vigiano Brothers Lodge 3436 invite the community to join them for a candlelight remembrance of 9/11 at Harborfront Park, 101-A East Broadway, Port Jefferson on Sept. 11 at 6 p.m. Candles and refreshments will be provided. 631-928-7489

— The Port Jefferson Fire Department, 115 Maple Ave., Port Jefferson will hold a 9/11 memorial service on Sept. 11 at 9 a.m. 631-473-8910

Rocky Point

The Rocky Point Fire Department will host a ceremony at the 9/11 Community Memorial, at the corner of Route 25A and Tesla Street in Shoreham, on Sept. 11 at 6:30 p.m. 631-744-410

Selden

The Selden Fire Department, 44 Woodmere Place will host a 9/11 remembrance ceremony on Sept. 11 at 7 p.m. 631-732-1234

Setauket

The Setauket Fire Department will conduct a 9/11 memorial ceremony at the Hook and Ladder Company 1, Station 3, 394 Nicolls Road, Setauket on Sept. 11 at 7 p.m. followed by refreshments in the firehouse. Call 631-941-4900, ext. 1043

Smithtown

The Town of Smithtown will hold a Remembrance ceremony at 9/11 Memorial Park, located on Main Street (North Side) between Bank Street and Landing Avenue, Smithtown on Sept. 11 at 3 p.m. 631-360-7600

Stony Brook

To honor and remember the 21 Stony Brook University alumni who died on 9/11, all members of the community are invited to visit the Memorial Arch near the University’s Humanities Building, 100 Nicolls Road, Stony Brook for quiet contemplation and reflection on Sept. 11 from 8:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. The campus chimes will ring 21 times at 8:46 am. 631-632-6330, [email protected]

Sound Beach

The Sound Beach Fire Department, 152 Sound Beach Blvd., Sound Beach will hold its annual Service of Remembrance ceremony on Sept. 11 at 7 p.m. 631-744-4994

— Compiled by Heidi Sutton

Photos of the Week: Labor Day weekend along the North Shore

by Bill Landon - September 6, 2024

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By Bill Landon

After early morning clouds, the skies cleared and the North Shore was treated to comfortable temperatures under brilliant sunshine with activities for all on Labor Day weekend.

— Photos by Bill Landon

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