Village Beacon Record

METROCREATIVE CONNCETION

By Leah Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

My college class is hosting a forum on friendship and how to define it. During this time, when loneliness seems to be a problem for many, what role should friendship play, especially in our later years?

I read someplace, not too long ago, that most people claim to have five or six good friends, and that is ideal, according to the professionals who study this subject. It made me think about how many good friends I have, and whether I have the requisite number for a happy life.

What makes people become friends?

Perhaps friends play a different role in one’s life at different stages. I tried to remember the friends I had in my earliest years. There was Evelyn in Second Grade. What attracted me to her was her ability to draw. I was enamored with The Lone Ranger at that point, read as many books by Fran Striker (who I later learned was Frances, a woman author) as I could find, and I asked Evelyn to draw scenes from the books for me. I would give her some particulars, and she would follow up and make drawings on looseleaf sheets of paper that illustrated the vignettes I would describe to her. And she did so quickly, as I talked, which was amazing.

Why did she do that for me? She was terrible in arithmetic, and I would do her homework for her, probably as quickly as she could draw. So we had a mutual attraction as a result of our individual skills. Also she lived down the block from my family’s apartment, and we would walk home together from school. So convenience and mutual needs played a part in encouraging friendship.

It all ended, of course, when the teacher realized I was doing her homework. It was innocent enough. I never meant to abort her learning and hope she caught on to numbers and what one could do with them.

I went to an all-girls junior high school that only one other classmate entered, and she was put into a different section, so I had no friends immediately. But I was attracted to a small group who came from the other side of town and seemed to have a lot of fun with each other.

They were sophisticated. In particular, they would slip out of school 15 minutes before the end of the last class, run down the stairs of the subway outside the school building and ride to the Broadway Theater District, where they would arrive just as the plays would break for intermission.

When the audience members would then walk back in, they would, too, and carefully find empty seats. In that way, they saw the second act of some of the most famous musicals of the 1950s. I wanted desperately to be part of that group, and somehow they accepted me. They were my junior high friends, and I still think of them fondly.

So common interests make for friendships.

In high school and college, my friends were a couple of classmates that I most admired. They brought different ideas to class and had the courage to speak about the subjects in an original way. There were others, too, who were enjoyable companions throughout those early years, and with whom I kept up until we each went our separate ways after we married and moved from New York. But I kept in touch with those original two I most respected. So respect is another factor in deep friendships.

As we had children, our friends most often were the parents of their friends, which was convenient. And we had friends from work. But then, our children grew up, left the nest, and we were again on our own, with the time to rediscover old friends who were witnesses to our earlier years and to make new ones.

Witnesses and shared experiences now make for strong glue in friendship. And mutual admiration, loyalty and empathy for all that has happened and is happening to us as we age, are powerful bonds among friends.

Photo from Councilwoman Bonner's office

On October 10, Town of Brookhaven Councilwoman Jane Bonner (center) met with Miller Place High School students in Tara Penske’s 12th Grade Civics classes. She spoke about her role in local government, her responsibilities and those of colleagues on the Town Board. Councilwoman Bonner was eager to speak with students about her job as an elected official and answered their questions. She also spoke with the students about pursuing a career in government and how they can make a difference in the community where they live.

Councilwoman Bonner said, “High School is an exciting time when students really start thinking about finding a career that suits them best and they will enjoy So, it was great to meet with Ms. Penske’s very curious students. They asked questions, eagerly joined in the discussions and a few said they would even be interested to pursue a career in government.” 

Noah Green

Noah Green Was Arrested Three Weeks After the 2022 Shooting as a Result of a Joint Investigation by DA Tierney’s Gang Task Force and SCPD Detectives

Suffolk County District Attorney Raymond A. Tierney announced on Oct. 15 that Noah Green, 20, of Shirley, was sentenced to 12 years in prison followed by five years of post-release supervision after pleading guilty to Attempted Murder in the Second Degree, and other related charges, for shooting at three people, striking two of them in the chest, in front of former United States Congressman Lee Zeldin’s home in October 2022. Green was one of 18 defendants indicted in December 2022 following a long-term investigation into violence committed by a criminal street organization, “No Fake Love.”

“This was a horrific act of gang-related violence that put innocent lives at risk. The defendant’s decision to open fire on a residential neighborhood, with two young girls inside the home he shot towards, demonstrates a complete disregard for human life,” said District Attorney Tierney. “Thanks to the diligent work of law enforcement, justice has been served with a lengthy 12-year prison sentence. We must continue to address the root causes of gang violence in our communities and provide young people with positive alternatives to curtail such senseless acts.”

As established by the investigation and the defendant’s plea allocution, on October 9, 2022, Green left his home with another individual and got into a stolen 2022 Honda CRV. While Green was driving the vehicle, they encountered three rival gang members walking down the street in front of the residence of then-United States Congressman Lee Zeldin. Green shot out of the vehicle multiple times, striking two of the individuals in the chest. Both men survived.

During the shooting, Congressman Zeldin’s daughters were inside the residence doing homework. Afterwards, Green boasted on social media and through other electronic communications about committing the shooting to alleged fellow gang members. During the course of the conspiracy, Green would frequently post his gang affiliation on social media accounts, post photos and videos of himself and other gang members with weapons and stolen vehicles and would utilize social media as a way to taunt and challenge rivals.

On October 31, 2022, at approximately 1:00 p.m., law enforcement was conducting surveillance when they observed Green leave his residence in Shirley and enter the driver’s seat of the stolen 2022 Honda CRV. Members of law enforcement then approached Green, who immediately exited the stolen vehicle and began running away in an attempt to evade apprehension. Green jumped onto the hood and roof of a law enforcement vehicle causing damage to both. During the course of their pursuit, Green continuously refused to comply with the officers’ commands and began reaching for his pants pocket, where law enforcement later recovered a loaded Taurus 9mm pistol with a high-capacity magazine. A microscopic examination of the firearm revealed that this was the same pistol Green had used to commit the October 9th shooting outside of Congressman Zeldin’s home. Additionally, a search of the 2022 Honda CRV revealed that shell casings from the October 9th shooting were still lodged between the windshield and the hood of the vehicle.

On September 12, 2024, Green pleaded guilty to the following charges before Acting Supreme Court Justice Anthony S. Senft, Jr.:

  •   Three counts of Attempted Murder in the Second Degree, Class B violent felonies;
  •   Two counts of Criminal Possession of a Weapon in the Second Degree, Class C violent

    felonies; and

  •   One count of Conspiracy in the Second Degree, a Class B felony.

On October 15, 2024, Justice Senft sentenced Green to 12 years in prison followed by five years of post-release supervision. He was represented by Chad LaVeglia, Esq.

This case was prosecuted by Assistant District Attorneys Martha Duffy and Donald Barclay of the Violent Criminal Enterprises Bureau. The overall investigation into the No Fake Love gang was conducted by District Attorney Investigator Jean Graf of the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Gang Task Force, and the investigation into the October 2022 shooting was conducted Detective Michael Yonelunas of the Suffolk County Police Department.

Fall has arrived! Be sure to check out some of the Town of Brookhaven’s recreation centers’ upcoming fun and educational programs:

Robert E. Reid, Sr. Recreation Center
Defense Hill Road & Route 25A, Shoreham, NY 11786
Call 631-451-5306 for more information or help registering online.

Yoga
This is a slow-flow yoga class for all levels, moving at a slower pace and holding poses a little longer.  Breathing and relaxation exercises are incorporated to help de-stress. Please bring a yoga mat.
Dates: Mondays, October 21, November 4, 18, 25, December 2, 9
Time: 7:00pm – 8:00pm
Fee: $42.00 per 6-week session
To register online, click HERE.

Jump Bunch Jr. (Ages 3-5)
Learn a new sport each week. Includes sports such as soccer, football, lacrosse, volleyball and basketball. No equipment necessary. Just bring water.
Dates: Thursdays, November 7, 14, 21, December 5, 12, 19
Time: 4:00pm – 5:00pm
Fee: $62.00 per 6-week session
To register online, click HERE.

Jump Bunch Kids (Ages 6-9)
Learn a new sport each week. Includes sports such as soccer, football, lacrosse, volleyball and basketball. No equipment necessary. Just bring water.
Dates: Thursdays, November 7, 14, 21, December 5, 12, 19
Time: 5:15pm – 6:00pm
Fee: $62.00 per 6-week session
To register online, click HERE.

Henrietta Acampora Recreation Center
39 Montauk Highway, Blue Point, NY 11715
Call 631-451-6163 for more information or help registering online.

Sprouts & Friends: Babies & Non-Walkers (Ages 6 months – 12 months)
Join Sprouts & Friends for a fun, safe and creative way to learn to move through music and release energy. Our mission is to create joy while helping your little ones grow, learn, develop and explore through playful activities.
Dates: Fridays, November 8, 15, 22, December 6, 13, 20
Time: 1:00pm – 1:45pm
Fee: $42.00 per 6-week session
To register online, click HERE.

Country Line Dancing – Improver
These classes welcome advanced beginners and intermediate dancers.
Dates: Mondays, November 25, December 2, 9, 16, 23, 30
Time: 2:30pm – 4:00pm
Fee: $47.00 per 6-week session
To register online, click HERE.

Parks Administration Building
286 Hawkins Road, Centereach, NY 11720
Call 631-451-6112 for more information or help registering online.

Indoor Bocce
Meet and play with different people each week. 2 games per week.
Individual sign up.
Dates: Tuesdays, November 12, 19, 26, December 3, 10, 17
Time: 10:00am – 12:00pm
Fee: $32.00 per 6-week session
To register online, click HERE.

Centereach Sports Complex
286 Hawkins Road, Centereach, NY 11720
Call 631 451-6131 for more information or help registering online.

Pickleball
Check out our upcoming one day clinics.
Visit www.brookhavenny.gov/reconline under the Sports tab to register.

 

Suffolk County Police Major Case Unit detectives are investigating a bank robbery that occurred in Shirley on Oct. 12.

A man entered Chase Bank, located at 645 Northbound William Floyd Parkway, and handed the teller a note demanding cash at approximately 3:45 p.m. The teller complied and the suspect fled with cash.

The robber was described as a white man with brown hair, who appeared to be in his 40s. He was wearing a dark-hooded sweatshirt and dark pants.

Detectives are asking anyone with information on the robbery to call the Major Case Unit at 631-852- 6555 or anonymously to Crime Stoppers at 1-800-220-TIPS.

Reese Marcario fires at the box for the Wildcats. Photo by Bill Landon

By Bill Landon

The Shoreham-Wading River field hockey squad tore open their season with 10 consecutive wins but stumbled in a road game against Harborfields, losing to the Tornadoes 2-1, Sept. 30. 

The Wildcats wasted no time in clawing back to their winning ways with a home game against Eastport-South Manor (9-2) Monday night, Oct. 7. The Sharks struck first with two minutes remaining in the opening quarter but sophomore forward Madison Herr answered back 30 seconds later to make it a new game.

Senior midfielder Ellie Arena rocked the box with six minutes left in the first half off an assist by Marisa Cacciola for the Wildcats to take a 2-1 lead, a score that would make the final buzzer.

The win lifts the Wildcats to 11-1 in a three-way tie along with Miller Place and Bayport-Blue Point atop the Division II leaderboard. 

— Photos by Bill Landon

Stock photo

As discussed in the paper this week, the Oct. 7 service at the  North Shore Jewish Center in Port Jefferson Station served as a coming together of humans healing from an event which rocked a nation and the world, one year ago this month.

But, it is so incredibly crucial to note that it was a group of human-beings coming together — not people of any one religion, background or gender — but people of all walks of life, who gathered on that Sunday night to comfort one another, and lend a shoulder to anyone in need of comfort.

Despite the presence of a few politicians, the night was not one of politics, but of deep empathy for anyone who lost a dear one in Israel, or community members who know someone who has.

It was a beautiful reminder that despite the complexities of what is happening in the Middle East at this moment in time, we can still congregate as a united body, purely in support of humanity.

No hidden agendas. No hatred of anybody.

People were there to hold one another’s hand, and honor the memory of those they loved, and those they had never met.

At its core, religion is about peace, love and compassion, and that was precisely what occurred that night. People of a shared faith, came together in prayer to provide their neighbors with an hour of solace.

And, we can all use some solace in these horrific times.

File photo by Raymond Janis

Notice: Suffolk County 5th District office relocating to East Setauket

Dear Constituents,

I am writing to inform Suffolk County’s Fifth Legislative District constituents thatmy office is moving from 306 Main Street in Port Jefferson to 36 Route 25A in East Setauket. Our first day at the new location will be Tuesday, Oct. 15.

Please feel free to visit our new location to discuss concerns or to share yourideas for improving our communities. My staff and I can also be reached by calling 631-854-1650 or emailing [email protected].

Please note that LD5 includes Belle Terre, East Setauket, Old Field, Poquott, PortJefferson, Port Jefferson Station, Setauket, Stony Brook, Stony Brook University, South Setauket, Terryville, and parts of Centereach, Coram and Mount Sinai.

We look forward to seeing you at our new office.

Steven Englebright

Suffolk County Legislator

District Office 5 

A call to support Frank Melville Memorial Park

To the Esteemed Residents of the Three Village Community,

I write to you today on behalf of the Frank Melville Memorial Park, a cherished haven of natural beauty and wildlife, which many of you have supported and enjoyed over the years. The park, as you know, stands as a testament to our collective commitment to preserving both the splendor of nature and a sense of peace for all visitors, human and animal alike.

However, it is with a sense of deep concern and urgency that we must address a troubling issue that has recently grown more acute: The repeated violations of our strict no-fishing policy, particularly by adults and teenagers who seem to regard this rule with a mix of indifference and defiance.

Despite clear signage and our tireless efforts to educate the public on the importance of this policy, we are witnessing an alarming frequency of insubordination. The rule against fishing is not arbitrary since it serves to protect the delicate ecosystems of the pond and surrounding habitat. Our policy reflects a profound respect for the intricate balance of wildlife that calls this park home — creatures whose survival is intimately tied to the careful stewardship of their environment. Yet, we have found our efforts met with flagrant disregard and, regrettably in some instances, with outright disrespect for the park’s mission.

These actions undermine the very fabric of what we strive to accomplish at Frank Melville Park: To maintain a sanctuary where humans and nature can coexist harmoniously. When individuals violate this fundamental policy, they not only endanger wildlife but also tarnish the atmosphere of safety and order that we work so diligently to preserve.

To address this growing concern, we are asking for your support. In order to uphold the park’s regulations and ensure a safe, respectful environment for all, we must increase our security presence. This step, while necessary, comes at a significant financial cost, one which we are unable to shoulder alone. We appeal to the broader Three Village community — those of you who value this park as much as we do — to assist us through donations, which will allow us to fund additional security measures and personnel.

Your contributions will directly support our ability to safeguard the park’s natural beauty and uphold the standards that we all hold dear. Together, we can ensure that Frank Melville Park remains a space of serenity and sanctuary, free from the disorder that threatens to erode the very essence of what makes it so special.

We trust that the community’s profound appreciation for this space will inspire a shared responsibility in preserving it. Let us act now, not only to protect the park from further harm but to honor the legacy we have inherited and ensure that it thrives for future generations.

Board of Directors 

Frank Melville Memorial Park

Setauket

Finding balance in Brookhaven’s development debate

I appreciated reading the letter to the editor in last week’s issue [“Brookhaven Town Board rejects suburbia”] from our neighbor, the Three Village Civic Association, regarding the recent approval by Brookhaven Town of the proposal by Staller Associates at Jefferson Plaza. Charles Tramontana and George Hoffman rightly point out the precedent-setting nature of the new CRD code the town used to approve a zoning change which will yield a density never seen before anywhere in Brookhaven. While I applaud the call for a review of a code many believe to be vague and without clear metrics as to how the density bonuses were set (and by whom), future revisions will leave Port Jeff Station/Terryville residents watching the barn door being closed after the horse has galloped away.

In our situation, we are now facing the reality of a face-changing project which can yield up to 280 apartments — nearly three times what any other multifamily development could yield. Additionally, the developer has the benefit of constructing 49,000 square feet of commercial space on this 10-acre parcel. 

Our organization has been clear and consistent for the past two years that we wanted to welcome the redevelopment of this long-neglected shopping center and are mindful of the need for attainable housing for our young people. So, our considerable efforts to identify concerns associated with this intensive proposal are intended to minimize negative impacts and not to oppose all change. 

However, we advocated many issues be addressed ahead of this zoning change which will surely change the character of our community. While some input was considered, the final product appears changed mostly around the margins. Presently, the density can be maxed out, there are still many areas with four-story buildings, first responder access and resources needs to be discussed, traffic concerns remain, as well as an architectural design providing true public spaces and sense of a place. 

Also, the price point of apartments starting at $2,200-$2,400 leaves us still figuring how to retain our young, and the public benefit many developers provide to address the impacts on a community is quite miniscule in comparison to the scope of this project. Most importantly, this large-scale development will occur without a full and comprehensive planning process to help our hamlet properly digest this growth-inducing facility along the entire Route 112 corridor.

I will note, at our request, Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich [D-Stony Brook] persuaded the town to take a look at traffic patterns which will be affected regionally — and not just site specific to Jefferson Plaza. Also, the councilmember has provided there will be a process for a visual preference survey that we suggested to guide and shape the architecture with community input. 

Kornreich has often tried to assure our area that many of our valid concerns can be addressed during the site plan review process, which will now begin. While I strongly believe our neighborhood would have been well served to have these issues ironed out in advance, I take him at his word and trust we will make a strong effort to partner with the town and hold them to that promise. It will take all our voices to shape the face of our future in a way which improves our community and I urge all my neighbors to help in this process.

Ira Costell, President 

Port Jefferson Station/Terryville Civic Associatio

A farewell to six years of growth and community

For the last six years, I have had the honor and privilege to serve as the Three Village Chamber of Commerce president. 

Together we have accomplished so many of the goals set at the beginning of my term. A complete overhaul of our monthly accounting has resulted in the chamber being in the best financial position in its almost 50-year history.

Our real accomplishments were never planned. The business community faced unprecedented challenges in March 2020. The worldwide pandemic brought initial chaos and confusion to the ever-changing governmental regulations of trying to keep the doors open for business. The Board of Directors led the charge to work with our elected officials and within a very short period of time, we were assisting our community’s businesses in these unchartered waters. This was a very difficult environment for everyone.

As a longtime board member, I can say with great confidence I am leaving the chamber in good hands as my term as president comes to an end

So many positive and rewarding activities have come to mind over the last six years. Giving to the annual George Rehn Scholarship to high school seniors as the first chamber president to graduate from Ward Melville High School — and certainly not the last. The West Meadow Beach barbecues of the past, the current golf outings and many holiday parties that brought our business community together will always be cherished. 

I want to thank my fellow board members and our executive director, Jane Taylor, for their commitment and continuous support, making this one of the best and most viable service organizations I have ever been part of.

The chamber leadership will continue to prosper under its new president, Carmine Inserra, and the current Board of Directors. I wish them well and I am here to always help to keep our business community vibrant and healthy.

I have personally enjoyed all the friendships and business networking contacts among our membership and I will look forward to my new role as president emeritus. I love this community and I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve through this wonderful organization.

I look forward to the continued success of the Three Village Chamber of Commerce.

Charles A. Lefkowitz

Three Village Chamber of Commerce

Editor’s note: The writer is chairman of the Suffolk County Water Authority.

 

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Back in the day when I covered Wall Street and spoke with power-broking bankers, mergers and acquisitions experts, and traders, I often chatted with people who had little to no time.

As often as I could, I’d catch someone in the midst of an exciting transaction. I pictured them standing at their desks, staring at papers, looking closely at the clock, and envisioning various life or community-altering transactions, such as multi-billion dollar mergers.

The information would be even better, of course, if other journalists hadn’t yet heard the news, giving me the chance to be first.

Some of my sources would share juicy tidbits, about a company, a strategic move, or a new hire. The cadence of their voice was often quick and clipped and the tone was close to a conspiratorial whisper, with the volume inversely proportional to the importance of the developing story.

They would often be eager to get off the phone so they could continue to rule the world, to collect multi-million dollar fees and to prepare to help other companies keep up with the fast-merging world by moving other pieces on the financial chess board.

A few seconds after sharing the final details, they would invariably use a two word signal that meant that the conversation, whether I liked it or not, was ending.

“Gotta hop!” they’d say. It was a universally understood code for, “I’m not hanging up on you, per se, but those are the last sounds you’ll hear from me on this call.”

During busy days on Wall Street, I’d picture investment bankers in expensive suits, hopping on one foot from building to building, keeping one leg in the air as they frantically finalized details and collected signatures.

Once they reached their destination, I imagined them putting the non-hopping leg down comfortably on the ground, while massaging the one that propelled them around the lower part of Manhattan.

Wall Street hasn’t cornered the market on signals that a conversation is coming to a close.

People in the Main Street world say they “gotta run.”

Sometimes, out of politeness, someone will indicate that he or she has another important call coming in that’s related to the topic at hand.

In more personal and familiar settings, my friends and family have various codes that suggest they are preparing to end a conversation.

An audible sigh is usually the equivalent of, “okay, let’s wrap things up here.”

Then, there’s the long, slow version of “alright,” which suggests that, fun as this conversation might have been, it’s time to end the call.

I appreciate the moment when people appear to want to be sensitive to me when they’re ready to disengage. That typically includes some version of, “I’m gonna let you get back to work or whatever it is you’re doing” when, more often than not, they have to return to something.

Of course, I have been on the other side of this disengagement effort, when someone who is on a long drive is not only eager for company but is also prepared to share, stream-of-consciousness style, everything they see and comment on the driving skills of everyone around them.

“What is that red car thinking?” they’ll ask. “Did you see that?”

“No, you see, the way the phone works, I can only hear your voice. I’m not looking through a body worn camera at the road ahead of you, but I’m sure the red car did something stupid and it’s great that you’re such a skilled defensive driver.”

I sometimes try to wrap up these calls with something like, “well, it’s been nice chatting with you.”

“Yes,” they’ll reply. “It’s nice chatting with you, too. So, what do you think of the presidential election?”

“Oh, um, I think it’s a good idea every four years or so. More often than that would become too hectic and stressful for the country.”

“No, I mean, what are your top 15 issues for the election this year.”

“I’d love to share them with you, but I have to hop and I want to give you a chance to get back to driving and someone is waiting to take a run with me, so, I’m gonna go.”

METRO photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

As I like to say to the owner of the dry cleaning shop I use, “I’m an enthusiastic eater.” I tell him that because I want to encourage him to look for spots on the clothes I am bringing him and remove them. He smiles, nods knowingly and returns my clothes spot free.

It would be nice if I could just as easily rub out those extra pounds I routinely put on. Ever since I was in my late 30s, my weight has been a yo-yo. Until then, I never thought much about what I tended to eat. I just enjoyed my food, and ate whatever appealed to me at the moment. 

As a mother and the family cook, I did try to make balanced meals: an animal protein, a starch and a vegetable at dinner, for example. That was what cooks were encouraged to provide by the Food and Drug Administration. There were even charts in doctors offices with pictures of recommended “balanced” meals that we saw and took to heart. That was dinner.

Lunch wasn’t so different. A sandwich, a piece of fruit, maybe a small bag of chips or a cookie populated my children’s lunch boxes. The sandwich could be spread with peanut butter and jelly, or perhaps, tuna fish or bologna. The fruit was usually an apple, and the dessert was a chocolate chip cookie or a couple of Oreos. 

My husband and our children didn’t have a weight problem, so why did I? And that was in spite of my being on the club tennis team and running errands for our family of five plus dog and station wagon every day. I was certainly getting exercise.

At this point, I should confess that I love pasta. I love it in any shape, with any kind of sauce, and I love a good piece of bread. I also like desserts, the sugary kind. Donuts are a favorite, preferably loaded with raspberry jelly and rolled in sugar. In fact, there probably isn’t a carb I don’t like. 

So clearly my problem was in making choices. Recognizing what I had to do, I would forsake all of the above for the better part of a year, lose the extra pounds, buy some new clothes and feel quite pleased with myself…until after a few years, none of the clothes fit and a full length mirror showed me that I was back to my former avoirdupois. That’s a fancy French word to disguise the unwanted pounds. 

And so the cycles went, until I got older and disgusted enough to resign myself just to being fat. I passed a good number of years that way.

But now, I will tell you, I have found the solution, and it’s not Ozempic. I don’t even like taking an aspirin, much less a strong medicine with scary side effects like these miracle weight-loss drugs that were actually created for other uses but apparently remove one’s appetite. 

Why would I want to do that when eating is so much fun?

I will reveal my current weight loss routine to you, and it’s incredibly simple. It came about this way. I was noticing that a couple of my children were putting on some pounds, nothing drastic but nonetheless visible additions to their otherwise sleek frames. Now they, too, are active and until recently had no major problems with weight. But as they age, it has caught up to them.

So during the last visit, when we were all together and happened to bemoan our extra pounds, my oldest son suggested what he termed a Sunday Weigh In. This could easily be done via a group text, thanks to modern technology. We would aim for a one pound loss each week, not particularly extreme, and in the process we would connect with each other on a guaranteed regular basis. How nice! We are six weeks in now, and amid lots of love and encouragement, it’s working.

Check with me next year.