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By Jacob Klipstein

Ms. Pamila Pahuja, a dedicated middle school science teacher, is now at the center of a firestorm. A personal social media post expressing frustration over immigration policies and the broader state of the country has led to her suspension. Critics claim she wished harm upon Trump supporters,suggesting she would treat students differently based on their beliefs. That accusation is completely unfounded.

Having known Ms. Pahuja at R.C.Murphy  Jr. High School, I can say with certainty that her commitment to students has never wavered, regardless of their background or ideology. Let’s be clear: her suspension isn’t about protecting students or maintaining neutrality in education. It’s about something much bigger—and much more dangerous. 

This is about reinforcing the idea that opposing the present administration, even in one’s personal life, comes with professional and personal consequences.

Education has become one of the key battlegrounds. Whether at the college level or in school boards, middle schools, and high schools, the message is clear: speak out against the present administration, and there will be a price to pay. Ms. Pahuja’s suspension is just the latest example.

So, who will stand up for our teachers’ free speech? In our quaint district of Three Village, groups like the Setauket Patriots freely exercise their own speech. They have labeled Ms. Pahuja “unhinged,” calling her the “first casualty of the migrant crisis on Long Island.” In one post, a commenter referred to her as a “DEI hire”—a phrase casually tossed around as an insult, revealing the underlying biases behind these attacks. They claim to defend students while attacking a teacher’s character with unfounded accusations. If they can openly condemn her, why can’t she express her own views without risking her career?

Nationally and internationally, Ms. Pahuja has made headlines in The New York Post and the Daily Mail, where she has been subjected to further harassment and ridicule, particularly in their online comment sections. 

Despite the manufactured outrage, Ms. Pahuja’s record speaks for itself. She comes from a family of educators and has spent over a decade inspiring students, running the Science Olympiad team, and dedicating herself to teaching. She isn’t being targeted because of her abilities as an educator—she’s being targeted because she refuses to conform.

And yet, here we are, throwing her under the bus. Why? Because she won’t pledge fealty to a political movement that stands against everything she believes in. Are we really expecting someone who has passionately taught science, advocated for immigrants, and supported unions to suddenly submit to a different ideology? Ms. Pahuja has spent years educating with care—there is nothing to suggest she would ever do anything less.

The truth is, she isn’t being punished for failing as a teacher. She’s being punished for speaking her mind. And that should give all of us pause.

I stand against the campaign of hate targeting Ms. Pahuja because of the values I was taught, in part, at Three Village schools. In these classrooms, we learned not only to think critically but also to stand up to bullies, no matter their power or influence. I urge others in the community to support her as well and hope to see her reinstated in the classroom as soon as possible.

Ms. Pahuja embodies the values of free thought, moral conviction, and standing against injustice—principles that should be protected, not silenced. 

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File photo by Raymond Janis

Poquott speed bumps

 In response to Poquott Village Board communication dated Dec. 26, 2024. I have the following comments to be shared with the community at the Feb. 6 town hall meeting and via our local newspaper.

As a 38-year resident of Poquott I have seen traffic issues take many forms from the widespread and out of control imposition of illegal ticket issuance by employees of the village to the addition of unnecessary stop signs like the one at White Pine and Van Brunt. More recently and sadly it has become known that a resident’s small dog got loose from an unfenced yard and was hit by a car at the junction of Van Brunt and Shore Road. Undoubtedly speeding is perceived as an issue and much of this stems from previous Poquott Board members’ inability adequately to manage the development of what is known this side of the village as “The Middle Kingdom.” In this respect the additional traffic on Van Brunt stemmed from inappropriately relying in large part on traffic egress of the development of new homes via what became known as White Pine. It is my understanding and belief that instead or in addition, egress roadways should have been mandated directly onto the area where Van Brunt meets Shore Road.

The whole matter has parallels I suggest with those who buy homes next to airports and then complain about aircraft noise. Be that as it may, it is what it is and our current board, I acknowledge, has to be seen to address the issue.

However, I am opposed to what has been done in the pilot programs implemented for the following reasons:

1. Why has one side of the village been greatly inconvenienced and impacted with multiple speed bumps and stop signs while the other has a perfectly reasonable digital monitoring system?

2. Traffic returning from 25A to homes on Van Brunt beyond Shore Road now have to stop a ridiculous 4 times:

1. Once at a nasty speed bump as one approaches the area in question.

2. A second time at the stop sign.

3. A third time at speed bump  2, and

4. An absurd 4th time at speed bump  3.

3. I am retired and no longer in a hurry to go anywhere but I recognize that employed residents have stuff to do and places to go and all this nonsense does is irritate and slow their normal progress down to get to where they need to go after which they are far more likely to speed up again to make up for time and energy lost in what are laughably called “calming measures.”

4. Returning to 25A from the other direction is just as bad with stops for speed bump, then stop at incorrectly placed stop sign (where visibility to traffic coming along Shore Road from the right-hand side is not properly  visible) then stop again at where the stop sign should have been placed to start with so that one can see traffic coming from the right, and finally once again at the next speed bump. Who decided upon this madness?

5. Even residents who will grind to an almost complete stop to get over these speed bumps will experience wear and damage to their vehicles suspension systems. This might be good news for those in the auto repair business but no one else. Will reimbursement be possible from the village? This could be financed by getting rid of the superfluous police force and saving further dollars from local taxes.

6. Needless to say, all this overkill results in the proliferation of a nasty aspect of living in Poquott – the unpleasant number of ridiculous signs that are indiscriminately plastered all over village roads and beaches. Talk about “nanny state” — my favorite is the particularly stupid one advising dog owners that they can only go onto the beach with a dog if waiting for or exiting from your boat. Which apparatchik of state thought this one up and how was it assumed this would be policed? It’s like a feeble attempt at a Monty Python sketch.

My suggestion is for the Board to rethink the entire mess. Either get rid of speed bumps entirely and perhaps use digital warning monitors on both sides of the village or re-site a single speed bump at a properly positioned stop sign.

 Peter Stubberfield

East Setauket

Letter to Superintendent Scanlon

Dear Dr. Scanlon, 

I am writing concerning the science teacher who was recently removed from the classroom because of online posts concerning the immigration policies of the new administration in Washington, D,C. My son was fortunate enough to be in this teacher’s class many years ago. She is an excellent and very patient teacher. 

I understand why many reasonable Americans find the current demonization of immigrants to be inappropriate, very upsetting and dangerous. While this teacher’s comments were not kind, they were not personally threatening and appear to be well within her rights of free speech. In the sermon by Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, less than one week ago, she reminds us all that the vast majority of immigrants are not criminals. They pay taxes and are good neighbors. They are faithful members of our churches, mosques and synagogues, gurdwara, and temples. She asks for mercy and dignity for immigrants and all people in the USA and throughout the globe. 

It appears that many of the responses from the Three Village community to this teacher’s post have been unkind and personally threatening. I ask you to return this excellent teacher to her classroom and ask everyone in the Three Village community to treat each other with the kindness, mercy and dignity we all deserve, and remember that while issues related to immigration policy may be complex and difficult for reasonable people to resolve, demonizing and poor treatment of immigrants is never appropriate. 

Susan Ackerman 

Stony Brook 

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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

With temperatures soaring, the large gathering of friends and family used programs to fan themselves.

Sweat dripped down my back as I waited in a wooden chair amid bright sunshine to witness and celebrate my brother’s graduation from Colgate University. Thoughts of my brother mixed with a need to find shade and an ice cold drink.

I had attended several graduations before this one, including my older brother’s and my own from college. I recall my Ward Melville High School graduation being incredibly warm as well, but this one seemed longer and more protracted, perhaps because we had to drive several hours to attend.

I pondered all the phone calls to the 315 area code with my younger brother, who complained about the snow, the ice and the bitter cold temperatures, which was an enormous contrast to the stifling heat of that day.

The commencement speaker, Fay Vincent, was the commissioner of baseball at the time. His tenure started when his predecessor Bart Giamatti died of a heart attack at 51, eight days after banning Pete Rose from baseball for life for gambling on the game. 

I thought about Vincent this week when I learned he had died at the age of 86 from cancer. I remember a surprising number of thoughts and ideas he shared during that momentous and proud day in our family’s life.

Fortunately, the sound system on that field was clear enough that I could hear almost every word he said.

He started off by saying that there’s no such thing as a good, long commencement speech. Similarly, there’s no such thing as a bad, short commencement speech.

The overheated audience laughed at both well-delivered lines, relieved that their children’s names would be called fairly soon.

He had three pieces of advice for these graduates. He recommended that they do something good. While that course of action depended on each person’s definition of “good,” he urged people to use their time effectively and to contribute something to society.

He then suggested that people do something well. Merely taking a job, moving on to graduate school, or doing some kind of internship wasn’t enough: graduates needed to commit to completing any task well, whatever that might be.

And, finally, he urged them to do something. That line also elicited considerable laughter from the appreciative crowd, who, by now, was eating out of his hand and wasn’t so sure they wanted this speech to end too rapidly.

He urged graduates not to return home and spend too much time pondering their future. They needed to go out and experience life. And, of course, once they took whatever next steps, they should remember to engage in good work while committing to doing it well.

Recognizing that the commissioner of baseball couldn’t get off the dais without sharing a baseball story, he also offered one about a rookie umpire.

The Houston Astros were playing the Yankees at the Astrodome in front of more than 50,000 adoring fans during their home opener.

Nolan Ryan, the ace of the team and one of the best pitchers in baseball who still holds the record with seven no hitters, was on the mound.

Mickey Rivers, the speedy Yankees center fielder, was stepping up to the plate. The umpire signaled for Ryan, who entered the Hall of Fame in 1999 as a Texas Ranger, to throw the first pitch.

The ball exploded into the catcher’s mitt. The fans waited as the seconds ticked by. The players looked in for the call. The umpire signaled weakly, “strike?” and extended his arm. The crowd cheered wildly as the catcher tossed the ball back to Ryan, who had started out his 27-year career as a member of the New York Mets.

Rivers took a step out of the box and smiled at the umpire. “Hey, it’s okay, blue,” Rivers said. “I didn’t see it either.”

Vincent told the story and offered his advice with such gusto and passion that I can still recall the speech and its effect on people all these years later. 

Is it possible that Ryan was on another team during that speech and that another batter shared such relatable words to the umpire? Sure. But, I can remember the message, the charm and the encouragement (and, of course, the searing heat) as if I were sitting in that field yesterday, celebrating my brother’s graduation and appreciating Vincent’s word’s of wisdom.

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By Leah S. Dunaief 

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

Cancer. Half a century ago, it was a word only whispered, so dreaded was the disease. It was considered a death sentence. People who had it were often shunned, as if it were contagious. And hospital treatments were demonic. As one cancer specialist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston put it, “We were kind of just pushing poisons and hoping for the best.”

But cancer deaths have plummeted in the last 30 years, as scientists and physicians have greatly improved their understanding of the pathology, and treatments now target some cancer-causing genes. Likened to diabetes, cancer might be thought of as a manageable chronic disease.

What exactly is cancer?

An excellent article in this Tuesday’s issue of The New York Times science section tackled that question. “Every day, billions of cells in our body divide or die off. Once in a while, though, something goes awry, and cells that should stop growing or die simply don’t. Left unchecked, those cells can turn into cancer,” writes Nina Agrawal.

Why that happens and how to treat the problem still puzzles scientists and doctors, but there has been great progress in understanding the disease in its various forms. While they used to think that mutations of genes caused all cancer, that has turned out to be only part of the story. Some mutations lay dormant an entire lifetime and never lead to cancer.

Separate from DNA code mutations, there are epigenetic changes, changes due to our environment in the way genes are expressed, that play a huge role. These may be caused by aging, dietary and environmental exposures, and chronic inflammation.

Some chemicals have long been known to cause cancer, like asbestos and those in cigarette smoke. Air pollution is now thought to increase risk, especially for lung and breast cancers, triggering inflammation. So does eating an unhealthy diet, which “can upset the balance of our microbiome, allowing certain bacteria to grow unchecked. Scientists think this may cause chronic inflammation, which can lead to colon or pancreatic cancers,”  Dr. Davendra Sohal, a gastrointestinal oncologist, told The New York Times.

Interestingly, malignant tumors are made up of cancer cells, as well as normal cells “that have been recruited to support their growth,” according to The NYT. “Many of these normal cells are the same type of immune cells that will flood the site of an injury or infection to help heal that wound—by helping new cells multiply, generating blood vessels, stimulating new connective tissue and avoiding attacks from other parts of the immune system. These are capabilities that cancer cells can co-opt indefinitely to support their own growth.”

Epidemiologists estimate that 40 percent of cancers and cancer deaths can be caused by controllable risk factors. These include cigarette smoking, sun exposure, alcohol use and excess body weight. Some infections, for example, caused by hepatitis B and C viruses, human papillomavirus and H. pylori bacteria, can also cause certain cancers, according to the article.

Understanding better how the immune system works has opened up a new treatment field called immunotherapy, using T-cells, immune system fighters produced or processed by the thymus gland that kill cancer cells in lungs and skin, among others. Engineered by doctors, T-cells, forming CAR T-cell therapy, have been most effective against blood cancers, the reporter said.

Can cancer be cured?

While physicians are reluctant to use that term, newer treatments like stem cell transplants and CAR T therapy make for optimism, especially after a number of years elapse when a patient is in remission.

Research further to develop prevention and treatments must continue.

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Mark X. Cronin with his son John. Facebook photo
A response to President Trump’s remarks

By Mark X. Cronin

In times of tragedy, our words matter. We witnessed sixty-seven people lose their lives, suddenly tossing mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, coworkers, and teammates into the darkest grief. In moments like these we must resist the urge to jump to conclusions.

President Trump, I heard what you said about the plane crash in Washington DC when you suggested that the hiring of people with intellectual developmental disabilities contributed to the tragedy. As the father of a young man with Down syndrome and an employer of people with differing abilities, I feel compelled to respond—not in anger, but to open a dialogue. I am not calling you out, instead I would like to invite you in, to learn more about what people with intellectual developmental disabilities can do and the contributions they are already making to our society and economy.

Let’s not blame people with differing abilities. Let’s not return to a time when they were shunned and ostracized. I want you to see how people with differing abilities contribute to our schools, workplaces, and communities. Across our nation and industries, people with differing abilities prove every day that they are valuable, skilled, and reliable employees. Companies like Microsoft, Walgreens, and EY have built successful programs hiring neurodiverse employees because they see their talent, not their limitations.

As an employer, I can assure you that no organization, least of all the FAA, knowingly places individuals in roles for which they are unqualified. Every air traffic controller undergoes intensive training and testing to ensure they meet the highest standards. The same applies to every pilot, engineer, and safety inspector. The inclusion of people with differing abilities does not mean lowering the bar; it means assessing skills fairly and placing people where they can succeed. That is not to say that no one made a mistake, but if mistakes were made, it is not because they had an intellectual developmental disability.

Mr. President, I invite you to see firsthand what inclusion looks like. Visit John’s Crazy Socks, meet my son John. He is an entrepreneur like you and a leader – EY named him Entrepreneur of the Year. More than half of our colleagues have a differing ability, meet them, see their dedication, talent, and hard work—not limitations. I believe that if you see this in action, you’ll understand why so many businesses, large and small, are embracing inclusive hiring as a competitive advantage.

America’s strength comes from the contributions of all its people. Never be blinded by a person’s limitations, be awed by their possibilities. When we focus on what individuals can do—rather than what they cannot—we build a stronger, more inclusive society. That’s the future and I hope you will lead us there.

Mark X. Cronin is co-founder and President  of John’s Crazy Socks in Farmingdale.

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Recently, towns across our coverage area have had to confront the loss innate in progress, especially as it affects the delicate balancing scale of Long Island’s development. In Smithtown, the Kings Park Revitalization Plan enters its final stages leaving some residents overjoyed and others worried about congestion.

Simultaneously, in Setauket, the controversial battery energy storage facilities are being opposed partly because they would be located in population dense areas. These events have triggered vastly differing reactions, but all raise questions: How much change is too much? And, is change worth the loss?

The heart of the opposition in each of these issues is that Long Island is under threat of overdevelopment, as it has been for years. Despite this, it is becoming unlivable due to financial strains. Ever present in discourse across every sector, is the exodus of young Long-Islanders–the skills we lose when each one moves away taking their education and expertise with them, the sorrow of having a loved one no longer within driving distance. 

The Kings Park Revitalization Plan struck the balance—nearly. Some people decry the development it promotes, while others say it is the very thing their hamlet needs and has the potential to bring life and energy back to their community, perhaps enticing young people to stay and build their lives, families and careers. 

Each viewpoint, especially the critical ones, smoothed the rough surfaces of the plan. Paying attention to defects is an essential step in ensuring that we don’t become so infatuated with progress that we forget what we have. 

Some people are still unhappy with the Kings Park Revitalization Plan as it enters its last step before it is voted on for approval. However, their voices help develop a more complete, well-informed opinion on what matters to our community. 

Public hearings may slow down the process, delaying approval, but they prompt analysis and re-analysis, reminding us of the trade offs we need to consider. 

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First Amendment rights cannot be stopped

Legislator Steve Englebright (D-Setauket) believes that constituents can be controlled and silenced by offering candy as if they were 5 year olds. It’s insulting and degrading that grown adults who speak out against injustices and understand how to use their First Amendment rights to free speech are being silenced. 

No, Steve, a Life Saver isn’t going to make me stop speaking out against the draconian rules that [Suffolk] County passes that harm the public’s general welfare by turning the county police department against the Latino population. The presiding officer infringed and trampled on my First Amendment rights because he didn’t like what I said. 

Let’s face it, the appearance of senior women speaking at public meetings exercising a constitutional protection of free speech surrounded by fully armed sheriff’s officers is bad public relations for the legislative body in a democracy. 

Lisa Sevimli, Patchogue 

We do not need another freight station

I wholeheartedly agree with Frank Konop [Smithtown freight yard is a threat to our community,  [TBR News Media, Jan. 23] that the proposed Townline Rail Terminal will do more harm than good to residents of Smithtown township.  However, his attempt to link it to the wildfires in southern California is way off base.

This has nothing to do with “social justice policies.”  Regarding the California fires, it’s false that they were related in any way to redirecting reservoir water to save fish.  State reservoirs storing water for southern California are at or near record highs.

The elephant in the room is global warming.  Although it’s impossible to narrowly tie it directly to a particular disaster, it’s foolish to deny its role in the increasing prevalence of wildfires, droughts, floods and freak weather.  In March 2024 the Smokehouse Creek fire burned over one million acres in the Texas Panhandle, compared with more than 40,000 acres burned in California thru January 2025.  In October 2024 in Valencia, Spain, 232 people were killed by a year’s worth of rain falling in a few hours.  Right here in Smithtown we were hit by a “rain bomb” last August that destroyed Stony Brook Pond and Stump Pond and flooded town hall.  The Main Branch of Smithtown Library is still closed.

Getting back to the TRT, there are lots of questions.  This facility will be used not only to ship incinerator ash as well as construction and demolition debris off Long Island, but also to transport construction materials, vehicles and other undefined goods and commodities onto Long Island.  What limitations are there?  Will propane, heating oil or hazardous materials be among these commodities?  We don’t know.  What need is there for two transfer buildings, track to accommodate 161 freight cars and a fleet of 50 trucks if this facility will run only one 27-car train in and out per day as its sponsor claims?  Will the tracks become a magnet for illegal dumping, attracting rats and mosquitos?  TRT will undoubtedly have impacts beyond wrecking the Kings Park residential community it’s adjacent to, including the pollution emitted by the 1970s era diesel locomotives pulling all those freight cars. 

The culprit behind this misbegotten proposal is not “social justice policies” or the “Green New Deal,” but our own Smithtown Town Board, which unanimously railroaded it through (pun intended) every step of the way.  It’s now proposing to change town zoning code to add a new use called “rail freight terminal” to districts zoned Light Industrial, of which there are many, including Flowerfield, around town.  Flowerfield was once a Long Island Rail Road station with its own siding track. Could this rezoning affect the disposition of Flowerfield?  The Smithtown Town Board is supposed to protect the interests of Smithtown residents.  But apparently, they’re so sure of being reelected due to their party affiliation that they presume it’s safe to ignore overwhelming opposition to TRT from the community.  And who’s to say they’re wrong?

David Friedman, St. James

Presidency of Dr. Shirley Strum Kenny and Dr. Jack Marburger

As the former president of the Three Village/Stony Brook Soccer Club from 1990 to 2002 and 2010 to 2017, I read with great interest your article on the presidency of Dr. Shirley Strum Kenny and her impact upon the Three Village community. While Dr. Kenny’s support for the local community and especially our local soccer club was second to none, I do not want the article to give the impression, as I think it does, that her predecessor, Dr. Jack Marburger, was not interested in the local community and was only interested in the science aspect of the university. Nothing could be further from the truth, especially as it related to the development of the soccer complex next to the P lot at [Stony Brook] University.

Prior to our request to be able to develop the unused land for a variety of soccer fields, our local soccer club played all of their games at our local schools, forcing our children and families to go from one site to another, or be forced to miss their games. Upon our request to Dr. Marburger to be able to develop the fields, he played a major role in giving us permission to develop the property and ensuring our success even in the face of considerable opposition from the local neighbors and others. Knowing that such a complex would be of great benefit to the larger community, Dr. Marburger made sure that we received a permit from his office and in fact only charged the soccer club $1 a year for the use of the property. I think it is fair to say that without his support and understanding of what such a use would mean to the thousands of children and families in our community there would have been no soccer fields for our community to use on the university campus.

Upon her acceptance of her position, Dr. Kenny continued her support for the decision of Dr. Marburger with regard to the soccer fields, allowing the permit to continue for $1 a year and allowing the soccer club to build a multi-use building which contained both “real bathrooms” for our families as well as a concession stand. In addition she allowed for the soccer club to hold various outdoor and indoor tournaments on the campus, at no charge, including the major tournament on Long Island at that time, the Long Island Junior Soccer League championships. She was a frequent visitor to the fields on Sundays when over two thousand of our children played during the day. She made sure her staff was always supportive of our efforts to improve the complex and supported our efforts to gain a state grant which we did with the support of former State Senator Jim Lack and former State Assemblyman Steve Englebright.

Both Dr. Marburger and Dr. Kenny understood that Stony Brook University is more than just buildings and research. It is a community asset of the Three Villages and as such must be engaged with the local community in more ways that just selling tickets to various events. Unfortunately, neither of their two successors understood how a state university and a larger community must be engaged with each other, to the point where the soccer complex was taken over by the recreation department and charged the local soccer club over $100,000 each year for the ability of our local children to play soccer on land which had been developed by the local soccer club. Unfortunately they looked at the soccer fields solely as a money maker and not as a community benefit, to the point where they now charge for almost everything, significantly reduced the amount of time allotted for games and practices and have closed the building which was built for the benefit of our families.

While one may think that this is all history, it is not, especially as Stony Brook University engages once again in the selection of a new president. The selection committee and the SUNY Board of Trustees must understand that Stony Brook University must be part of the community, as promoted by both Dr. Kenny and Dr. Marburger, and not merely located in our community as made clear by their successors who gratefully have gone on to other places far from here. One would hope that the new president will understand and promote a concept of togetherness and mutual commitment to each other and not just what is good for the university. We hope that the history of what Dr. Kenny and Dr. Marburger accomplished will be the type of history which the new president will provide and not the type of history which their successors failed to provide. Our community is a better place to live when the university understands that it is part of the community and not just located here.

Mitchell H. Pally, Former President

Three Village Soccer Club

1992-2002; 2010-2017

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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

A few years ago, a friend of mine called the night before a major operation.

I could tell he was nervous. His usual, unflappable voice was weaker and unsteady, as if he weren’t sure how things would go and was reaching out for encouragement.

“There’s pretty much nothing you can do at this point,” I said. “You really don’t need to be sharp or focused or even attentive tomorrow. You better hope the doctor is getting plenty of rest and is at his best.”

“That’s true,” he laughed. “Maybe I should send over a good dinner or encourage him to go to bed early tonight.”

Doctors, like so many other people in other professions, deal with activities and routines that are unimaginable for the rest of us.

As a child, I watched my father slowly and carefully remove glass from the eyes of a construction worker who had been in an accident. I also sat in horror as he ate a steak just hours after being in surgery for most of the day to reconstruct the eye of a local patient who had suffered extensive trauma.

The medical world’s ability to get past the “ick” factor is pretty incredible. These professionals, on whom we rely for our overall health and for the health of our specific organs and systems, improve and extend our lives, offering the best of modern medicine to counteract the effect of bad habits, hidden genetic problems that can complicate and threaten our lives, and pathogens that cause damage and destruction.

Recently, I visited a urologist. If you’ve been reading this column long enough, you might recall that I’ve had kidney stones. These are exceptionally unpleasant, causing pain and vomiting, among other discomforts.

Long ago, I shuffled into an emergency room, bent over double from the pain. After I told the admitting nurse what was wrong, she didn’t even bother with paperwork or with taking my blood pressure. She immediately took me to a room, where another nurse almost instantly provided a painkiller. I am still grateful to them years later.

So, you see, I feel the need to monitor the health of this system to reduce the risk of future such episodes.

This year, I was meeting with a new urologist. I tried not to think about the parts that are unpleasant but that are much less problematic than a kidney stone.

He knocked politely on the door, as if he might have been delivering a dish of salmon with steamed vegetables and couscous.

Who is it? I was tempted to ask in a falsetto voice. What difference did it make? Anyone who knocked was coming in regardless of what I said.

He washed his hands – thankfully – sat down and asked me to tell him about myself.

“My health history?” I wondered.

“No, I mean, are you married, do you have kids, what do you do for a living?”

Well, I write about weird meetings like this. But enough about me, how do you do what you do? I wondered. No, I didn’t say that. I smiled and offered the 20 second tour of my life. 

We even chatted about the Yankees losing Juan Soto to the Mets. Would they be better or worse this year?

After he asked me about my health history, he told me to lower my pants and underwear and put my elbows on the examining table.

“You’re going to feel some pressure as I examine your prostate,” he said.

I thought of my dog, whose head is often in my lap or near my face when they probe parts of his body he’d just as soon no human ever touched. He makes a face I imagine was similar to mine at that moment. Shocked expressions transcend species.

Afterwards, the urologist smiled at me, gave me a quick assessment and told me he wished me and the Yankees well this year.

Later, I tried to imagine sitting at a meal with him, chatting in an airport waiting room, or standing outside the backstop of a softball field as we waited for the chance to hit.

I couldn’t do it. Routine as his work might be for him and necessary as it might be for me, I struggle to disconnect from an exam that is a routine part of his work.

But, hey, I’m not anticipating that either of us will call the other on our birthdays this year. I’m glad he’s there, doing his thing and hope not to need additional services.

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By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

The articles I’ve read recently call it “financial infidelity” and blame it on some percentage of all couples, but especially on Generation Z. “It” refers to hiding money from each other, or if not exactly hiding, then not sharing either the money itself or its existence. And since money seems to be the primary issue couples argue about over the long term, the question of how much to share is highly relevant to any relationship.

A survey by consumer financial services firm Bankrate indicated that 67 percent of 18 to 28- year-olds hide money information from each other in committed relationships. That drops to 54 percent of millennials, 33 percent of Gen Xers and 30 percent of baby boomers, according to Newsweek. For some reason, older than baby boomers aren’t in the survey. I can try to offer that perspective since I am in the older group.

“Hidden debts, undisclosed spending, or secret accounts can, as well as undermining a partner’s trust, disrupt shared financial plans, such as saving for a home, retirement or children’s education, causing long-term financial strain,” according to the article.

Some 40 percent of couples in the United States have kept secrets from each other about money, according to the study involving 2217 adults. These secrets may include spending more than a partner would approve of (33 percent), keeping hidden debt (23 percent), having a secret credit card (12 percent), a secret savings account (15 percent), or a secret checking account (13 percent).

Yet these figures exist despite 45 percent of those surveyed disapproving of what is termed financial infidelity and even equating it with actual unfaithfulness. If a secret financial situation is discovered, it tends to disrupt the trust that relationships are built upon and perhaps cause speculation over what else might be hidden 

One senior industry analyst, Ted Rossman, maintains, “Money secrets can undermine a relationship. It’s hard enough to meet your financial goals when you are pulling in the same direction. It’s almost impossible when you’re pulling in opposite directions.” 

Rossman goes on to say that being open about your finances doesn’t mean you need to combine all your money. A yours-mine-ours is a possible arrangement for those who feel more comfortable that way.

Despite the importance of money in a marriage or committed relationship, half a century ago, when I was married, money was the last thing on our minds. We were entirely caught up in the romance and didn’t consider the business aspect of lifetime coupling. So when the time came to buy a house, my husband and I counted our pennies and came up a little short for the down payment on the mortgage.

“I’ll take a loan from the bank, using my stocks as collateral,” I said.

“Stocks?” he responded with surprise.

“Yes, I think I have just enough to bridge the difference between our savings and what we need,” I said. “I have been buying a couple of shares of stocks each year with my allowance since I was a child,” I explained. 

It had never occurred to me to tell my husband. Needless to say, he was delighted to discover this mysterious side of me. Marriage arrangements were traditional at that time. The husband was the breadwinner, the wife the homemaker. The husband’s paychecks went into a joint bank account and  both drew from that account for expenses. 

Husbands may have laughed at the saying, “What’s mine is hers and what’s hers is hers,” but they subscribed to it. What we brought to the marriage financially was of little concern since we were young and generally without any serious assets, and we didn’t think of pooling those. We wives were advised then, in women’s magazines for example, to keep a little stash on the side for personal expenditures that needn’t be discussed.

Many couples are older now when they marry, and both work, thus the landscape is different. So I don’t know what to advise. Maybe that’s why we elders weren’t polled.

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File photo by Raymond Janis

Smithtown freight yard is a threat to our community

As a 75-year resident of our beautiful community, it saddens me to see Smithtown is moving ahead on the freight yard proposal by Toby Carlson.  Like California, you are adopting the law of unintended consequences. In the effort to pursue the “Green New Deal” they ignored the well-being and safety of their citizens. Reservoir water was redirected to save fish, fire budgets were cut and brush in county parks was left to grow contrary to state laws. All of this was to improve social justice policies. If a freight yard is the answer to our garbage needs, this is not the place for it, adjacent to a residential and historic area.

While the tragedy California is dealing with was never anticipated by the politicians, the dangers were all too apparent. So too, the terrible record of freight train derailments and toxic spills have put adjacent communities at risk and caused many tragedies throughout the country. While this is a real possibility, what is a certainty is that our home values, quality of life and water aquifer will all be negatively impacted. Just as California turned a blind eye to brush removal laws for many years, Smithtown has ignored the many code violations on Old Northport Road. Clearly, California has subordinated their community safety in pursuit of an alternative agenda. This should not happen here.Elected officials should protect and preserve our communities.

For 30 years I served with the Fort Salonga Association as director and president. We worked  to protect our zoning, establish  Bread and Cheese as an historic Road and identify many homes dating back to the American Revolution. To undermine our efforts, damage our quality of life and impact our property values is a betrayal of our trust. There are better places for a freight yard than 150 feet away from residential homes. Please protect our community!

Frank Konop

Smithtown

Sergeant-at-arms can protect without weapons

At the Suffolk County Legislature’s Organizational Meeting on Jan. 2, I suggested appointing a sergeant-at-arms for future meetings. As an employee of the Legislature that individual would be responsible for ensuring that all in attendance follow protocols. Helping to escort guest dignitaries such as the Suffolk County executive into the auditorium to address the legislators when they are in session would also be a job requirement. Despite the words “sergeant” and “arms” in the title, that person would not be a law enforcement officer and would not carry any weapons.

My request was prompted by events at two General Meetings last year when a member of the public who was speaking was asked by the presiding officer to not provocatively say “your base is racist.” These uncomfortable moments quickly overheated when the presiding officer determined it appropriate to request deputy sheriff officers who are present at the General Meetings to escort the speaker out of the hearing room. Witnessing law enforcement officers with loaded guns on their person being instructed to remove constituents is concerning as such circumstances have the potential to quickly and unpredictably escalate.

During my tenure as a New York State assemblyman, I observed that Legislature’s sergeant-at-arms routinely offering potential disruptors a piece of candy from a bowl he kept at his desk. This literally sweet gesture would provide an opportunity for de-escalation and, in turn, maintain the required decorum to continue with a safe and effective legislative meeting. It also demonstrates that the individual who is the sergeant-at-arms can function as an antidote to disharmony and an instrument of civility. The Suffolk County Legislature should make use of this tool to add both a buffer against immoderate moments and add to the procedural dignity of the chamber.

Steve Englebright

Suffolk County Legislator

Fifth District

Keep the town code, keep out freight terminals

We are writing to express the opposition of our members to the proposed changes to the

[Smithtown] Town Code – as written – that would permit rail freight terminals, rail transfer stations and wood chipping and mulch processing in Smithtown. The proposals as written make no sense and should not be enacted.

Although increased capacity for the transportation of ash from waste-to-energy plants and construction and demolition debris (“C&D”) off Long Island likely will become a necessity, we believe that as drafted, the proposed code changes are misguided, overbroad and frankly, unrealistic.

The most surprising aspect of the proposal is that a special exception could be granted for any ofthese uses on parcels as little as two acres. Likewise, we are surprised that the proposal includes the possibility that a rail freight terminal could be permitted in a light industry zone anywhere in Town. Since the proposed amendments would affect the entire Town, they could have negative impacts in any community where in ustrially zoned properties exist, including the Mills Pond National Historic District and the Flowerfield property.

For the past four years, the community has been working with the State Department of Environmental Conservation and Suffolk County to preserve the undeveloped 48-acre portion of the Gyrodyne/Flowerfield property, which is the last remaining open space in St. James. The State and County are closer than ever to a purchase that would compensate Gyrodyne fairly for its land. Supervisor Wehrheim, you have expressed to the DEC that the Town has no objection to the State’s proposal to acquire the property using Environmental Protection Funds. However, the proposed code changes, as written, could jeopardize the goal of preserving Flowerfield Fairgrounds as open space.

While the current Town Board might not allow a rail terminal on the Gyrodyne/Flowerfield property, future Town Boards could do so if the code changes before you are approved. The proposed code amendments would be antithetical to the broad explicit goal established in the Town’s new Comprehensive Plan to protect the character of residential communities like St. James. Even if the minimum required parcel size was increased to 100 acres, the proposals should not be enacted, for the following reasons.

Permission to create a rail freight terminal “used for the temporary staging and/or storage of commodities, consumer products or equipment” transported via rail at the Gyrodyne/Flowerfield site would require the addition not only of railroad tracks and storage facilities, but would also of necessity generate daily heavy truck traffic on Mills Pond Road, North Country Road and Stony Brook Road, all of which are narrow, two-lane country roads.

In sworn testimony at the 2010 eminent domain trial Gyrodyne’s own planning and zoning expert testified that getting traffic in and out of the Gyrodyne site is problematic because it is remote from major roadways, and that the property therefore could not accommodate the additional traffic that would accompany more industrial development. The level of traffic on nearby roadways under current conditions is rated as failing, which was a major impetus for the legal challenge against approval of the Gyrodyne subdivision, still pending. The proposed code amendments would allow this property to potentially be developed for uses that would be even more objectionable than those proposed by Gyrodyne in its subdivision proposal.

Another significant issue to be considered is the limited capacity of rail infrastructure in the Town of Smithtown. The Port Jefferson Branch of the Long Island Rail Road is served by a busy single commuter track and is ill-suited to the addition of rail freight.

There are numerous other locations in Suffolk County which are more suitable for use as rail freight terminals to facilitate the expansion of transportation of ash and construction and demolition materials (C&D) off Long Island.

Head of the Harbor Neighborhood Preservation Coalition

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