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Father Frank

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From left, organizer Daniel McKiernan, Janet Brennan, organizer Joel Posner and Adrienne McKiernan at the 2nd Annual Polar Plunge. The event raised $14,500 for Hope House this year. Photo courtesy of Hope House

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

On March 15, I was honored to participate in the dedication of a roadway in front of the Port Jefferson Village Center on East Broadway to honor former Mayor Robert Strong.

Mayor Strong was an extraordinary public servant who loved the village of Port Jefferson and its’ people. He was a loving husband and father for more than 30 years and was a social studies educator in a school district on the South Shore.

As an educator he was outstanding; he always related social studies to public service, encouraging his students to be young men and women of integrity and service. I saw this first hand, as I spoke in his school district a number of times.

On the same day the Village of Port Jefferson dedicated a roadway to honor Mayor Strong, about 1000 feet away more than 100 people took part in the 2nd Annual Polar Plunge at Harborfront Park benefiting Hope House Ministries.

The significance of this annual event is not the money they raised and the fact that over 100 people came out to support this event; the real story is about the two young men who founded the Polar Plunge to support Hope House Ministries.

One man is a nurse working in a local hospital. The other young man is a professional entrepreneur who lives out East. These two young men became friends as teenagers while living at Hope House on Main Street in Port Jefferson Village.

A few years ago, they met after not seeing each other for more than 15 years. They started talking about the brotherhood they found living at Hope House and now they wanted to give back, That communication gave birth to the first polar plunge.

Their dedication, hard work and creativity with this event was inspirational to so many who gathered to support them. They drew on other alumni and friends they have made along the way who are now professional adults. These human connections made this event so successful and powerful.

As a nation, we continue to be so polarized. The disrespectful rhetoric and behavior on the part of so many in leadership is unconscionable. So, in the midst of all of our national chaos, it is refreshing to see hope in our midst. 

These young men and so many others that they lived with have changed and transformed their lives despite the many obstacles before them. Today they are contributing members to the various communities they live in around the country. I am so proud of the men they have become and the things that they are doing for others.

They have strengthened my hope that we can do better, one person at a time.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Every month it seems that the world is becoming more unsettled and divisive. No matter what one’s political affiliation, all of us would agree that there is waste and mismanagement within the federal government. It is very troubling.

However, it doesn’t help that all kinds of accusations are being made about theft, fraud and mismanagement and very little is substantiated with legitimate proof. Dedicated public servants with impeccable records, some with spouses and children, are being fired without real notice. We can and should do better.

Attempting to freeze federal grants that benefit the poor, the needy, those battling mental health issues and our veterans, honestly is unconscionable and heartless.

For more than 40 years, I have refused to take federal money because I worried that one day I would have to face what my colleagues and the nonprofit world are facing. The anxiety and unconscious stress that so many are feeling right now is so unnecessary.

The work that the not-for-profit community does in our local community and in our county is beyond words. The countless lives saved and transformed could fill pages upon pages of any newspaper if their stories were told.

As an educator, what is equally troubling is how we cannot have transparent, critically thought out conversations about the real issues that concern all of us. It seems sometimes that the people we elect leave their heart and soul at the steps of the Capitol. We have elected a senator and a Congress person to represent us, not to mindlessly repeat what the party leadership speaks.

The next generation is watching us and what we are showing them from the classroom to the workplace. 

We are so blessed to live in one of the greatest countries in the world. We are a melting pot of every race, creed, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation and social status. Every American has a voice that must be heard. We must not be afraid to express ourselves, especially if it goes against our leadership. That’s the beauty of our nation. Every voice, no matter who’s speaking, is important and must be respected. 

Americans should never be afraid of reprisal for expressing respectfully what they feel and what they think.

When are our elected representatives going to represent us and what we feel is important? When are we going to elect representatives that lead and not follow?

Isn’t that what democracy is all about?

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

There is so much conflict and polarization in the world today. We need to work harder at building bridges instead of walls. DEI — diversity, equity, and inclusion — is such a powerful way to build those bridges that are so crucial.

To blame tragedies on DEI is unconscionable. DEI should be woven in all of our workplaces, in our schools and in our sports. We are a nation founded on diversity; hopefully a nation that practices equity and is continuously looking for ways to be more inclusive.

Unfortunately, discrimination, lack of equity and inclusiveness have been part of our history. Many have worked to correct those areas that are not inclusive at all and open to diversity.

Wherever DEI is present, it strengthens the workplace. It does not weaken it. Standards are not compromised. Expectations are not minimized. Inclusivity is an attempt to make sure that everyone is welcomed;  equity is an attempt to make sure everyone is treated fairly without compromise or discrimination.

To eliminate DEI would be a step backwards; it would once again reinforce prejudicial attitudes and behaviors. No matter what our political affiliation, we need to be advocates for inclusivity equity and diversity. We have made such great strides in combatting, exclusivity, injustice, and blatant discrimination. We have an opportunity as a country to transcend political differences and find a way to work together to make all Americans feel welcomed, respected, and included.

These are definitely challenging times, but also an opportunity to come together despite our differences. It is an opportunity to move forward as a stronger nation respecting the gifts and talents of all people and using their gifts and talents to build a stronger and more resilient nation.

DEI and its initiatives are aimed at fostering a culture that embraces and values differences; ultimately leading not only to better outcomes for organizations that embrace these initiatives, but also an opportunity to strengthen not only our communities, but our nation. It is an opportunity to really build strong bridges, and not walls.

DEI is a framework that can promote a more inclusive and fair environment for all individuals regardless of their backgrounds or their identities. Our nation was founded on freedom and respect for all people despite our ethnic differences. We are a melting pot nation and stronger because of that.

As we welcome a new leadership team, they represent us and what we believe is important for our country. Unity, inclusiveness, respect and equity are critical for our future and for the strength of our nation. We don’t want the next generation to be blinded by race, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. We want the next generation to celebrate our diversity as a gift and a blessing.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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Former President Jimmy Carter Photo courtesy of WikiMedia Commons

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

The year 2025 has already begun. New Year’s Eve was marked by a terrible act of senseless violence in New Orleans; killing and hurting many innocent people who were celebrating the dawn of a new year.

Despite that horrific act of violence, the country has been blessed with countless acts of kindness and generosity. Even locally our community has been blessed with countless people constantly thinking of others.

On December 29, 2024, one of the greatest humanitarian, world leaders of our time died at the age of 100. Jimmy Carter was the 39th president of the United States. He is known more for what he has done since he left the presidency then when he was president. When I heard he had passed, I stopped to think of where was I when he was elected president in November of 1976. I was finishing my graduate studies for the priesthood at the Catholic University of America in Washington D.C. and was teaching and assistant principal of a small Catholic school. Those were wonderful years for me.

I was the seventh and eighth grade basketball coach and the assistant principal in charge of the junior high division of a struggling Catholic school. I learned so much from those years in the classroom and working with my students, many of whom still reach out and drop me a line to let me know how they’re doing and what they’re doing.

Carter was such a powerful role model for me. He was so committed to his faith, to social justice, to peace and to the respect for all humanity. He did not just talk the talk; he walked the walk. He was a constant voice for human rights and respect for all humanity. His power of example inspired many of us to work to become the best versions of ourselves and for those of us in leadership, whether big or small, his power of example should inspire us to do more for the sake of others.

A new year has just begun; the chaos and polarization continues. As our former president begins a second term as our newly elected president, let’s hope he and his team can build bridges and not walls.

Let’s work harder at respect and collaboration, truth and honesty, respect and integrity. May 2025 be a year of new beginnings, new relationships, new friendships. May this new year empower us to work hard at unity and respect for the dignity of all people, no matter what their race, color, gender, sexual orientation, social status, or ethnicity.

May our religious leaders have the courage to speak out about injustice, hate, discrimination, and the weaponization of religion, for the sake of political gain. May 2025 be the year where we all make room in our hearts for more love, compassion, forgiveness, and social justice. Blessings for all of us as this new year unfolds.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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Founder of Christmas Magic, Charlie Russo, far left, accepts a check on behalf of the charity.

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

It is hard to believe that the holiday season 2024 is so fast approaching. As I write this column, it is still a week before Thanksgiving and the holiday lights are appearing everywhere. For college students, final exams are fast approaching. 

This has been a really challenging year for us as a nation. The election of our President brought out great divisiveness. The negativity was painful and the intense polarization was so infectious.

However, the mood is changing. Thanksgiving is upon us. It’s a time for building bridges, not walls. It’s a time to take pause and be profoundly grateful for all of our blessings. It’s a time for reaching out to our neighbors, even if we’ve disagreed with them. It’s a time for us to celebrate the greatness of our nation.

We should take a moment this holiday season to give thanks for what we have and build upon it in the new year.

Every year I am so impressed with my college students and what they do for others. My university students at St. Joseph’s are so generous with our Thanksgiving and Christmas projects that serve those in need. My Suffolk County Community College students are equally generous with their time and talent. They give so much during this wonderful season that it really makes a difference. I am so proud of them. They inspire me to stay the course and continue in higher education.

More than three decades ago, a young lawyer named Charlie Russo wanted to teach his children the real meaning of the Christmas season. It gave birth to a program that has grown tremendously known as Christmas Magic (christmasmagic.org). It reaches out to all of our children that must spend the Christmas season in our county homeless shelters.

Now more than 30 years later, the organization continues to inspire young people and adults from all over the county to give their time and talent during the holiday season. Hundreds of our high school students volunteer to wrap presents and volunteer as elves. A growing number of college students are also volunteering every holiday season to help and support the efforts of Christmas Magic. 

We also cannot forget the extreme generosity of our larger community who contribute money and presents so Christmas Magic can continue to touch the lives of thousands of little kids who are in our county homeless shelters.

By the time you read this column, you will be in the midst of celebrating this wonderful time of year, a time for love for peace and for gratitude. May this holiday season be a real blessing to all of you.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

By next week we will have elected a new President of the United States. Hopefully, whoever is elected, he or she will use language that unites us and language that divides us. The new president must be a bridge builder not a wall builder.

One of the many things that has been buried in the rubble of negative rhetoric is a respect for the human dignity of every human person. We must hold our president to a higher standard of respect for all people.

Respecting the human dignity of all people means recognizing and valuing each human person’s inherent worth and rights; regardless of one’s background, beliefs or human circumstance; it involves treating everyone with kindness and compassion; acknowledging their feelings and perspectives; always advocating for their rights and freedom.

This kind of respect for one’s human dignity is grounded in the belief that every person has a unique story to tell; deserving of acknowledgment and empathy. It encompasses promoting equality, combating discrimination and ensuring that everyone has access to equal opportunity and the resources that they need to thrive.

Ultimately, we must be committed to building a more just and inclusive society, where everyone can live authentically with dignity and no fear.

Our social justice lens has been blurred in recent years due to the intense polarization of our nation. I think our moral compass needs to be reset. Religion, sadly, has been used as a weapon rather than a profound reminder of the human dignity of every human person; one that is inclusive and that all of our holy books affirm.

The next generation of leaders have tremendous potential and possibility. I see it every day in the students and graduate students I am privileged to teach. My fear for them is that they have very few role models to look up to, to prepare them for the future.

They possess little or no civic responsibility. Many of them believe their vote does not count so why bother! However, some are seeing the value of getting involved and giving voice to the issues that are important to them. They need to hear and see that positive change is possible. Sometimes it just takes one voice to shed light on an issue of deep concern and change does happen.

Hope is a profound and positive emotion characterized by a belief in the possibility of a better future. This year my students have renewed my sense of hope for the future. I listen to their dreams, I hear them speak of a deep sense of purpose. They are resilient. They want to make the world a better place. I really believe they can.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Every day I am amazed with the young people that I meet both in the classroom and on the street. So many of them express a sincere desire for wanting to make a difference. They’re seeking how to do that.

A while back I met a young man who was struggling with alcohol. On paper, his life was most impressive. He was captain of the football team in high school, got a scholarship to a university in upstate New York became the captain of that football team and graduated with honors.

In his senior year, he was struggling with what to do with the rest of his life. He decided to pursue a law degree. After graduation, he was hired by a prestigious law firm in New York City. He did an extraordinary job for them but his alcoholism got in the way. He resigned before he lost his law license.

With encouragement from family and friends, he went into residential treatment. After his assessment, it was determined that he would benefit from long-term treatment. After a few months, he thought he knew everything and he left against the council’s advice.

He had saved some money, was able to rent an apartment and set up a private practice. He is a very good attorney and did very well in the courtroom and for his clients. Unfortunately, he started to isolate and drink again. It got progressively worse to the point he almost died. His family conveyed they wanted nothing to do with him unless he was willing to go back into treatment.

Being a very stubborn young man, it took him landing back in the hospital and almost dying to agree to go back into treatment. He reached out to the program that helped him reclaim himself, the same place where he thought he knew more than the people running it. They welcomed him back.

He came back to treatment with a renewed commitment to surrender and listen to those who were entrusted with his care. In his third month, he had a painful awareness; he acknowledged that for a better part of 30 years he was harboring a traumatic event that changed his life forever.

When he was six years old, his father came home drunk and very angry at his mother. He had a gun and intended to kill her. He, his mother and baby sister were in the kitchen. His mom was holding his sister; his father was out of control he was sitting just a few feet away and the father’s gun went off missing his faced by inches and struck his baby sister. He never told anyone about that horrific event. He was embarrassed and ashamed.

Since letting go of that burden, he is determined to live his life differently, to live a life of wellness and recovery. He has decided to go back to school and become a nurse practitioner so he can give back to the recovery community that saved his life.

Change and transformation are possible, if we are willing to support those men and women who struggle with this serious health issue.

We need more beds for treatment not for next week or next year but for now. Go to Hope Academy at Little Portion Friary in Mt. Sinai and visit the Garden of Remembrance to see first-hand the 120 crosses for those who weren’t given a chance to reclaim their lives because we did not have the beds available for treatment. However, I believe hope springs eternal! I will continue to advocate for the most vulnerable among us!

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

It’s hard to believe that another school year has begun. I’ve started teaching again at Suffolk County Community College (SCCC). I have 35 extraordinary young men and women in my Introduction to Sociology class. That same week I started back at Fordham University’s Graduate School of Social Service. I teach second-year students clinical practice. They inspire me to keep coming back because of their passion, compassion, and commitment to wanting to truly make a difference in the world. I’ve been taking the 6:09 a.m.  train from Ronkonkoma every Tuesday morning for 21 years. I look forward to it.

In the first week of September, I return to St. Joseph’s University in Patchogue. I will be teaching social science and social work to undergraduates.

Since the pandemic, I have observed a number of things with all of my students, no matter what the school or their level. In general, their capacity for concentration seems to be clearly impaired. I find a growing number of students more anxious and more distracted. The most disturbing observation is how many students are obsessed with their cell phones.

Recently, I asked my 35 college coeds at SCCC if they would be willing to freely surrender their cell phones at the beginning of each class. There were three or four students who volunteered and said they would be willing. The request ended with a very powerful conversation regarding cell phones. Their self-awareness and their honesty were most impressive.

Many college coeds are beginning to see the damage that cell phone obsession and dependency is causing. I think we need to continue the conversation and confront this issue because of the tremendous impact it is having on the next generation of students.

It is no secret that mental health among our students is a real concern. Many school districts and our larger community have increased their social work and mental health staff. We need to continue to address with outrage that many still attack mental health and substance use disorders with disdain.

As the new school year begins, I would encourage all our local schools, pre-K through 12th grade, to prohibit cell phone possession and use on all school grounds. On the high school level, I think there are creative ways to keep cell phones out of instructional settings and allow students to have access to them at the end of the school day.

We no longer can ignore the evidence-based research that underscores how negatively cell phone access 24 hours a day is impacting on our youth. Hopefully, our school communities including parents, will have the courage to take this issue seriously and to acknowledge how this is impacting on our youth’s mental health.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

On the first Sunday in June myself and a colleague left JFK Airport with 10 university students for Berlin, Germany. Their ages ranged from 19 to 22 with one returning student who is 40. The purpose of this trip was a study abroad experience in restorative justice. My colleague is the chairperson of Criminal Justice at Saint Joseph University, and I participated representing our social science department as a sociologist and clinical social worker.

Our hope is that our students will come home with a better understanding of the profound differences between American criminal justice and German criminal justice. The differences are significant. American criminal justice focuses on punishment; the German system focuses on rehabilitation, transformation and change.

From the moment you walked on the ground of the two prisons we were privileged to visit, you could sense in the air that these prisons are different. The first thing they do when an inmate arrives is a complete psychosocial work up and a life plan that focuses on a positive treatment program with attainable goals.

All of the inmates have single rooms with a bathroom and a TV which they pay for. The walls are painted with bright colors; the inmates are permitted to post pictures and/or posters that are meaningful to them. There are plants throughout the building and outside within the courtyard that the inmates are allowed to utilize. In addition to plants, there are flower gardens and vegetable gardens that the inmates maintain.

They have the opportunity on campus to work in the woodshop and the metal shop. Things they make are sold in the community to support the important work of the prison. Every six months, the social therapy team convene to see how the inmate is doing. If he’s not doing well, they look at what to do to adapt and adjust his treatment plan to better empower him to make the changes he needs.

After three very intense days, I am writing this article with four more days left of our trip. Thus far the students have shared that the experience has been overwhelming; that they learn so much from visiting the two prisons. Each superintendent commented on our students’ questions and their insight. In addition to the two prisons, we’ve visited one of the first concentration camps in Berlin, the Berlin Wall, and the Holocaust memorial in the city. We were all very conscious of the innocent loss of life because of hate.

Despite the intensity of the experience, I was very impressed with these 10 students’ sense of hopefulness, especially in the positive sharing they engaged in. They conveyed in our morning conversations about their experiences and their desire to make a difference, even in the midst of our polarized world.

These students are coming home with a deeper awareness of what restorative justice is and how they can contribute to making it happen in our country. These young men and women are our future. They are amazing and give me renewed hope that tomorrow will be better.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

It’s hard to believe that we are in the midst of another college graduation season. As an educator, I have valued my time teaching college and graduate students.

Since the pandemic, educating college students has changed radically. Their academic skills could be stronger, as well as their critical thinking and analytical writing skills. However, I have still found them open to new ideas and broader perspectives on their view of the world. Like many of my colleagues, I am concerned about their tendency towards isolation and their disconnectedness from their peers.

This graduation season has been challenging with the college student protests around the country. Unfortunately, these protests have further polarized our nation.

The right to protest is every American’s right, whether we support the issue or not. What is important for those who protest to know and practice is peace and nonviolence at all costs. Hateful speech is not nonviolent; provocative speech often spurs on violence. In my Social Science classes and Graduate School classes we discussed the war in the Middle East and the senseless loss of innocent life, among the Israelis and the Palestinians. War never resolves conflict; it only perpetuates more violence and hate. 

Teaching Social Science and Graduate School Social Work provided a forum at the end of the semester to begin this important conversation. As always, I urged my students to be sociologically mindful and when it comes to this very sensitive issue to respond, not to react.

Graduates, as you continue your journey, do not let the social filters of our time enable bigotry, exclusivity and social injustice. Always speak up and work for human rights. Try to realize that being human and sensitive to others is more important than any successful academic record. Try showing compassion and understanding rooted in justice. 

May a kind word, a reassuring touch and a warm smile be yours every day of your life. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending. Teach love to those who only know hate. And let that love embrace you as you continue in the world.

Don’t be blinded by those who tend to use shame, blame, guilt and religion to shackle people down and divide them. Set people free with your respect and non-judgmental way.

May your moral compass be grounded in respect for all human beings no matter what their color, their race, their creed or sexual orientation. May this compass guide you on a path that is committed to working for peace and social justice. As Gandhi once said, “be the change you hope for the world.”

Congratulations college graduates of 2024. Thank you for making the world a little richer, a little brighter, and a little bit more hopeful.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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