Words matter, as we might tell a first grader in our home or a high school student struggling to share a thought without cursing.

The same holds true for adults, especially those who disagree.

Whatever any of us might think of the policy to make English the official language of the United States, having a way to express ourselves clearly and to be heard by people on the other side of any issue is critical.

We live in a deeply divided country, where one “side” delights not only in its successes but in the failures and the struggles of the other.

This isn’t a plea for everyone to sit around chanting together or to urge us all just to get along, much as that might increase the peace and lower stress and fear.

We don’t just need English: we need a common language. We need to hear each other and to understand what the other side suggests, proposes or believes.

In a country that celebrates rugged individualism, we should be able to listen to an idea, whatever it is and wherever it comes from, and consider its merits.

It seems like spectacular hubris on the part of either side to imagine that the best policies only stem from those with whom we agree.

Take efficiency. The benefits of being more efficient in everything we do is that we can use resources better. People invested in stocks, for example, want their companies to be efficient because executives use that money to build profits.

During protests, people make competing signs that emphasize a point. Many of those messages, however, rarely acknowledge the other side or reach beyond slogans.

We need to listen to each other, to search for common ground and to make persuasive arguments that everyone can evaluate.

We need to study and learn the foreign language of those on the other side of an issue and work to adjust those words, and the ideas behind them.

Language, reflects culture and ideology and, at its root, can help us improve our lives and the lives of our children, who move together from preschool to adulthood.

Living with a verbal impasse that demonizes the other side hurts others as much as it does ourselves.

Together, our society of individuals can become more successful, efficient and peaceful if we speak the same language and build from a common foundation. Making labels and hurling insults might feel good in the moment, but it doesn’t bring out the best in us.

Words, like technology, are not necessarily good or bad. The way they are used determines their impact. Most of the people we acknowledge in the community seem friendly enough and don’t deserve belittling labels. If we start with words designed to help coalesce, we might find ways to improve our lives while feeling proud of the way we communicate in front of our children.