Plain Talk

Nico Signore

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

The noise across the American landscape is deafening. Every day the perverse rhetoric is further polarizing our nation. This polarization is intensifying the anxiety in many communities and families around the country. It has gotten so out of hand that people are not talking to one another. The anger and disrespect is becoming infectious everywhere.

On the positive side, I have never seen more people interested in government and its social policies. More and more young people are considering public service and government leadership as career paths. People are watching the news and reading the paper much more consistently.

The media is being challenged daily to report the truth based on real facts. It is unfortunate in the age of social media that truth continues to be manipulated and misrepresented. We must support a free press and a free media and urge them to genuinely commit themselves to presenting the truth. In a free society, they are key to holding those in power accountable for their actions and their leadership; they are key in demanding honesty from all who lead us.

As a teacher on the college level for more than three decades, it continuously amazes me how little the present generation of young people know about American government and our social policies. Hopefully, the chaos in Washington will give life to a better, more informed younger generation who are willing to stand for the truth and work courageously to build new bridges of human understanding among us.

Every now and then in the midst of this chaos, I am forced to take pause and think about the fragile life and world in which we live. In early March a 14-year-old boy from Miller Place was riding his bicycle and was killed. It was documented that it was a genuine accident with no recklessness or human impediments involved. A few days after this senseless loss of life, I presided at Nico’s funeral at the Catholic Church of St. Louis de Montfort in Sound Beach. He was a veteran lacrosse player — every coach’s dream athlete. He possessed passion and energy for this sport that was extraordinary. He was small in stature but was a giant in heart and commitment to the game.

This tragic death brought an entire community together. As we celebrated his life that morning, we were forced to think about how all life is fragile, that we need to stand strong because we need each other. Nico played lacrosse since he was eight years old; it was in his blood. It was his favorite sport. However, the brotherhood that was fostered because of lacrosse laid the foundation for other human values that are desperately needed today. He and his buddies were committed and are committed to community service, to volunteering for a wide range of noble causes. Their service was done with dedication, love and passion, the same energy they brought to the lacrosse playing field.

At 14 years of age, Nico touched more people with his wit, charm, love and compassion than most of us will do in a lifetime. The world is definitely brighter and better because Nico walked, lived and loved among us.

Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

On Jan. 20, 2017, a new and bold chapter began in American history. The 45th president of the United States was sworn in as the new leader of the free world. The America we knew is now radically changing course. It will take time to know if this new course is life-giving and if it truly is able to make “America Great Again.”

During his inauguration speech, Donald Trump spoke about giving the people back the power. The people responded the day after his speech by marching on Washington, D.C., over a million strong; with hundreds of thousands of voices walking/marching around the country and around the world.

Their voices spoke loudly about building bridges not walls and affordable health care for all that does not discriminate against those with pre-existing conditions and/or the poor. Those voices spoke about respect for women and the undocumented; for our Muslim brothers and sisters, for all people no matter what their sexual orientation or gender identification. Their voices loudly echoed concerns for civil rights and human rights.

The people heard the president’s voice; I hope that the president heard their voices and during the next hundred days responds to those important issues they spoke to on that Saturday after the inauguration.

Change is difficult no matter when it occurs. We all become very comfortable and at times complacent. The landscape of our nation is riddled with conflict and division. The rhetoric is hateful and divisive. The leadership of our nation from both sides of the aisle must come together and lead by example. The tone and language of dialogue must change. We must embrace a language that speaks of respect and integrity for every American, no matter what their social, economic or political perspective might be.

The leaders of our faith community, both locally and nationally, must move out of their coma of silence and not become political or feed the rhetoric of hate and divisiveness; rather they must stand up and call us to civility and to a discourse that supports and respects the human dignity and integrity of every American citizen.

Trump is our president, whether we like it or not. He was fairly elected. We must support the unity and healing he spoke about at his inauguration. As citizens, we must hold him accountable for what he says and what he does. He is not above the law. We must urge him to engage in a civil discourse about our complicated social issues and the future of our nation.

As this new chapter of American history unfolds, we have a powerful opportunity to engage and/or reengage in our democratic process. If you are not happy with the way things are, get involved; make a contribution; run for public office. Recognize that your voice counts and that you can make a difference in our nation and in our world.

Remember hope does not abandon us! We abandon hope! I am hopeful that if we all take responsibility for the future of our country, this new chapter in our history can make our great nation even greater!

Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

As the New Year begins, we are still a polarized nation because of our politics and profoundly disrespectful rhetoric. Racial hatred and violence continues to increase. Concerns about the undocumented and our broken immigration system continue to instill fear and paralyzing anxiety among so many people from so many different ethnicities. Health care is becoming a nightmare, and no one seems concerned enough to challenge the insurance companies that are continuing to sentence so many people to premature death.

The heroin epidemic continues to be a national health crisis that falls on deaf ears. Treatment beds are not increasing and with the anticipated crisis in health care, there will probably be even fewer beds for those afflicted with this life-threatening addiction we call heroin.

Although the present social and political landscape across our nation is in turmoil, there is a profound awareness that we need to live and act differently; the American dream is not dead but truly alive! Hopefully our new president will spend his first hundred days healing and unifying our nation, building bridges and not walls with his message to make “America Great Again.”

For many of us, America is already great and for me that is best seen during the holiday season. This year I was amazed that in spite of all the turmoil nationally, people’s generosity toward others, especially those in need, has been extraordinary. Each day, I see firsthand the generosity of so many talented and gifted people. Local physicians, lawyers, accountants, social workers, psychiatrist, teachers and tradespeople to name a few who volunteered to help those who are trying to navigate the difficult landscape of daily living. Thanks to the generosity of so many hands and hearts, those they touch have a chance to keep their lives on track and move forward. Without this generosity, many people in need would lose their way.

For more than two decades, I’ve been privileged to share my insights and my observations in this space. Every New Year I make a couple of recommendations as the New Year begins. This year begins a whole new chapter for us as a nation! This past election was unprecedented. The future is exciting, challenging and probably a bit frightening — because our newly elected president is not predictable — like most of life!

Probably my most important recommendations are that we reclaim a civil and respectful discourse when discussing any issue; that we work harder at respecting all people no matter what their race, creed, color, sexual orientation or political perspective. Respect costs nothing but shapes everything. It serves no purpose to gossip or malign another person’s character and reputation.

We need to work harder at being less judgmental of human circumstances and situations that we don’t understand. We should never judge another by the color of his or her skin, the clothes he or she wears, the piercings or tattoos he or she displays or the lifestyle he or she embraces. If we judge less and respect more, the violence that is infecting our communities will be substantially reduced.

My final recommendation has to do with risk-taking. Too often we see things that trouble us and we keep silent. Sometimes that silence can be lethal, especially when it comes to our children’s social behaviors. We need to speak up and step out in regards to the reckless decision-making that a number of our young people are engaging: the illegal use of alcohol, prescription medication and illegal drugs. If we care about our children and their future, we must have the courage to risk our own comfort and do the right thing.

As this New Year begins, let us be more vigilant. Let us call our government to greater accountability to be more responsive to the needs of those among us who are less fortunate. The poor and the homeless are not invisible and government should not act as if they are. We are painfully reminded that we are vulnerable and not invincible. All life is sacred but only temporary. Thus, whatever we can do to make life better, we need to do it now for we may not pass this way again.

So, let us think and act more positively with a cooperative spirit in ways that will make our community better. Let us become the change we wish to see in the world (Gandhi). Remember, you can make a difference that really counts!

Fr. Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.