Opinion

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Before each game, the Stony Brook University women’s basketball team meditates.

The pre-game ritual, among other changes and additions first-year Coach Ashley Langford instituted, has worked, as the team has a 7-1 record and sits first in the America East division.

Meditating “calms us and helps us visualize what we want to see in a game,” said India Pagan, a starter for Stony Brook and a graduate student with an extra year of eligibility because of the COVID pandemic.

A standout guard for Tulane University who finished her college career first in assists, Langford appreciates how hard the team has worked and how well they’ve come together.

“Our chemistry has been really good early on, to the point where, sometimes, [I wonder] is it November or is it March?” she said.

With five players averaging double digits in scoring, Stony Brook becomes harder to guard.

“On any given night, we’re moving and sharing the ball,” Langford said. “They are selfless. They don’t care who has the most points.”

While earning a spot in March Madness this year for just the second time in the program’s history would be rewarding, Langford focuses on each game.

“I’m a person that stays in the moment,” Langford said. “As long as we’re getting better, that puts us in a position to win the next game.

To that end, Langford would like the team to continue to improve in its transition defense.

She would like to see the team, which includes starters Earlette Scott, Gigi Gonzalez, Leighah-Amori Wool, Anastasia Warren and Pagan, continue to collect more offensive rebounds.

Langford’s assistant coaches, which includes recruiting coordinator Shireyll Moore, have been searching for players who might join the program as student-athletes.

“We’re in the position we are today because we have pretty good players,” Langford said. “My staff does a lot of this. They are more actively involved in the recruiting” each day.

Stony Brook has signed three current high school seniors and is focusing on juniors.

Before each game, Langford’s assistant coaches watch film of their opponents. They give her a cheat sheet before she watches film as well.

While Langford plans to stick to the team’s strengths, she will add a few wrinkles depending on the insights she gains about her opponents.

In the team’s first loss, Pagan and Warren were unavailable to play for medical reasons.

The team could have gone to Fordham feeling defeated, but the players fought to the end in a game they lost, 71-59.

“They don’t like losing, we don’t like losing,” Langford said. “They have responded well this week.”

The start of a season as head coach has taught Langford several lessons, including pacing herself and, in particular, protecting her voice. She drinks tea all day long and tells her staff to remind her not to yell in practice, because she shouts over the band at games.

In practice, Langford grabs a ball periodically to demonstrate what she’d like to see from her players.

As for her activity during the game, Langford sits only for about the first 30 seconds and then works the sidelines.

Pagan appreciates the work Langford puts in and the way her new coach has improved her game. While she used to get three or four rebounds a game, she’s often snagging 10 or more.

Pagan also sees herself hustling more, particularly after Langford created a drill where the players dive for loose balls.

“Before, I wouldn’t think of diving for a ball. Now, it’s ingrained into my head,” Pagan said. “The hustle doesn’t stop until the whistle blows. You play until you can’t play any more.”

METRO photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

Among the many preparations we made for our family Thanksgiving gathering this year, was carefully considering how to prevent any intrusion by COVID-19, a most unwelcome guest. The children and grandchildren were coming from six different states, so the potential exposure was widespread.

We agreed that everyone would have the appropriate vaccinations, two and a booster if possible. Each member also bought an Abbott BinaxNOW antigen self test result that they took before starting out on their trips. Everyone tested negative, so we were full steam ahead.

Thanksgiving Day was filled with hugs, laughter and love. We had not been all together in almost two years, and much conversation resulted, including how the youngest one had grown. After the traditional sumptuous dinner, we went around the table and spoke about what we were most grateful for in the past year. This is of special value to me, in addition to the lovely feelings of gratitude evoked, because it gives me a chance to catch up on their various activities.

The next day, Friday, we talked, walked, played games and ate some more. I almost didn’t register when one of my grandsons came to the dinner table a little late because he was feeling “achy.” But when he asked for an Advil the next morning, I got out the At-Home rapid test, and in 15 minutes we knew he was positive. Thinking it might be a false positive, we drove him to Stony Brook University Hospital, where he was given a PCR test, the gold standard, and in four hours we had the result.

Somehow, in spite of our careful efforts, the pathogen had found us. We then went to the next step and self-quarantined, but we are still trying to figure out where the hole in our defenses lies. As nearly as we can conclude, a negative test does not check for viruses in low numbers that are just beginning their infection in the nose, for example, and are still too few to register. With no symptoms, there is no way to detect their presence. It typically takes at least three days before the alarm goes off. So even weekly testing, which is so often done by institutions and employers, is not foolproof, especially if the patient is asymptomatic.

Fortunately, because my grandson was doubly vaccinated, the illness was of short duration, although he did lose his sense of taste and smell for a bit. The rest of the family members are fine. But what does that mean for all of us? The potential for infection is there, still with us despite how much we would like to leave it behind and despite all precautions. Gatherings of almost any size carry some risk, especially when we remove our masks to eat together, and we cannot be mindless of the threat.

There may be some good news, however. Omicron, the latest variant to be identified, seems to cause a milder version of the disease, at least so the early evidence indicates. And there are now two different pills that appear to hold back the most harmful effects of the virus if taken within five days of onset. One is from Merck and Ridgeback Biotherapeutics, called molnupiravir, that reduces the risk of hospitalization and death by 30%. It should be receiving FDA approval soon, even though it can cause serious side effects. The other is Paxlovid from Pfizer and so far appears to be 85% effective, perhaps to be authorized by year’s end. Made of a different formulation, it probably would not cause the same side effects as Merck’s but could cause others. Both pills could turn out to be a stop gap if the vaccines prove ineffective against new variants. And both may be more powerful if given together, as research against the virus that caused AIDS proved at that time. According to Dr. Fauci, the government’s top infectious disease expert, who oversaw combination therapy for HIV years ago, such a clinical trial could be quickly done.

File photo by Steve Silverman

The best part of the holiday season can be celebrating with family members and friends. Often alcohol can be part of these events, and if a person doesn’t drink responsibly, their actions can lead to dangers on the road.

If drinking is part of the festivities or ingesting any other substances that can impair the senses, a plan of action is needed before the partying begins. There is no excuse for driving under the influence.

For decades, we have been familiar with sage advice such as having a designated driver, planning to sleep over at the home where the party takes place or calling a taxi. Of course, sometimes the designated driver decides to join in on the fun or it turns out there is no room to sleep at the house. In many areas, especially in our towns, there aren’t many taxi services. Just a few years ago, scenarios such as the ones mentioned could spell danger if a person under the influence decided to get into the driver’s seat because they just wanted to go home.

Nowadays, there is no excuse for driving under the influence of any substance with phone apps to order car services such as Uber or Lyft providing another way to stay safe on the roads.

According to Mothers Against Drunk Driving, better known as MADD, there are more than 300,000 drinking and driving incidents a day in this country. According to the grassroots organization, in 2019 this reckless form of driving led to 10,142 deaths that year, which breaks down to almost 28 people killed a day. There are also 300,000 injuries a year due to drinking and driving, according to MADD.

All of these deaths and injuries could have been avoided if the drivers who caused them had a plan before drinking. And, let’s not forget, everyone can play a part in keeping impaired drivers off the road. When hosting a party, make arrangements for your guests who will be indulging themselves. Keep in mind the Suffolk County Social Host Law, which is primarily intended to deter underage drinking parties or gatherings where adults knowingly allow minors to drink alcohol or alcoholic beverages.

The holiday season is a time for celebrating the accomplishments of the past year and the promises of a new year. Let’s keep the roads in our communities safe to enjoy during the next few weeks and all year long.

Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

When she was little, my daughter loved to build sand castles. She’d put wet sand in a bucket, gently pull the bucket back and marvel at the details in the castles that came out.

My son wasn’t as interested in building castles. He derived special pleasure out of stomping on the castles she made. It wasn’t just that it gave him power over the sand: he also felt power over his older sister, who was furious with him for crushing her castles.

While I tried to reason with him, which is almost as effective today as it was when he was two, I came up with an alternative plan that required additional energy from me, but that created peace on the beach. I’d quickly put together a ring of 15 castles, grabbing wet sand and dumping it several feet from where my daughter was working on her creation.

Like a young Olympic sprinter, my son would race over to the collection of castles and stomp all over them, while my daughter slowly built her own city of sand.

These days, it seems, we are surrounded by people eager to stomp on everyone else’s sandcastles.

Sure, it’s satisfying to feel the figurative sand in our toes and to revel in tearing down what other people have created.

But, really, given all the challenges of the world, I think we should ask a few questions of all those people who are so eager to belittle, attack and undermine others. What’s your solution? What are you doing better? How would you fix the problem?

Insulting others for their efforts, their awkwardness or their perceived flaws often seems like a form of ladderism. No one wants to be on the bottom rung of a ladder, so people try to push others down or to shout to anyone who will listen about how much better they are than the people below them. That seems to be a sign of weakness or insecurity, reflecting the notion that other people are below them.

In addition to dumping on others, we live in a society of people for whom hearing views that differ from their own somehow turns them into victims. Surely we have more choices than simply, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” If someone doesn’t agree with you, maybe it’s worth finding out why.

Anger, frustration and hatred, while they may make us feel slightly better in the moment, aren’t solutions and they don’t improve our world. They are a form of destructive energy, like stomping on sand castles.

We should ask more of ourselves and from our leaders. I’m tired of hearing about politicians who will fight for me. I don’t want to send people into office to fight against others who are trying to do the best they can for the country. I want leaders who will learn, listen and, gasp, reach across the aisle in the search for solutions.

While platforms aren’t as sizzling as slogans or take downs, they include ideas and potential solutions.

Civility makes it possible for us to hear and learn.

We have enough threats to our lives without needing to turn against other people or to give in to the urge to crush other people’s sandcastles to feel better. We don’t all have to be best friends, but it’d be nice to look forward to a holiday season and the start of a new year that focused on a shared sense of purpose. We need better ideas, not better ways to attack.

Photo by David Ackerman

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

Since we were thinking of all we are grateful for this Thanksgiving, I can now add one more item to the list. It seems that government officials have finally noticed how important newspapers and media, especially local news media, are, and they want to help us survive. In fact, attitudes on the part of media members toward government have also changed in the last couple of years, thanks strangely to the coronavirus pandemic.

The grim numbers tell the story. According to an article in this past Monday’s issue of The New York Times, there are now 200 counties in the United States without a newspaper. These are being referred to as newspaper deserts. More than 2100 have shut down since 2004. This is in part due to the rise in digital media that has broken the business model of advertising support for local newspapers, with the final blow delivered by COVID-19. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of journalists at newspapers fell to 31,000 last year from 71,000 in 2008.

At the same time, in order to stay afloat, many newspapers have accepted help from the federal government’s Paycheck Protection Program with forgivable loans, assuaging fears of publishers of an inherent conflict of interest in accepting federal help. After all, newspapers are considered the watchdogs of the powerful, including government, on behalf of the people. We have been leery of any quid pro quo by accepting government help until now. But there have been no restrictions or demands put on news gatherers in this program, proving that such support can work if properly administered, and those loans have doubtlessly saved the number of shuttered newspapers from being greater.

“I don’t think we’d be having this conversation [about government support for local media] if it were not for the impact of Covid and the role that it played in accelerating challenges the [news] sector has faced,” said Damian Radcliff, a professor at the University of Oregon School of Journalism and Communications in The Times.

A tax credit for local newspapers was one of the main items in the Local Journalism Sustainability Act, a bipartisan bill that appeared before Congress in 2020 and was reintroduced this year. Among its supporters was local U.S. Rep. Lee Zeldin (R-NY1). When it stalled, it was then put into the latest $2.2 trillion package, as a payroll tax credit, the giant bill having passed the House and now awaits its fate at the hands of the Senate.

Why should the government help newspapers?

For starters, there is early precedent in United States history. The Postal Act of 1792 gave newspapers significantly cheaper mail rates. The maxim about an informed public being the cornerstone of democracy still holds. A free press is enshrined in the First Amendment, and the way to help pay for it was, and still is, by reduced postage. To this day, newspapers that are so designated because they carry a significant percentage of news, as opposed to only advertising, move at the rate of first class mail. 

As for local news that most directly affects everyday life, who but the local news outlets would routinely cover local school board, town board and civics meetings? It is in the local news where births, deaths. graduations and weddings are noted. Local student sports teams, student musicians and academic accomplishments are proudly published, as are local cultural events, exhibitions and fairs. In addition to holding local officials accountable, local newspapers define the boundaries of a community and strengthen its bonds.

Other ways that government can help news outlets include placing advertising from their various agencies. Such a program helped newspapers in New York City this past year for a total of some $10 million, at the behest of Mayor de Blasio. Although counties already advertise legal notices in newspapers, those are not usually equitably placed but rather are saved for the partisan papers by the party in control. A legislator in New Jersey suggested giving residents a $250 deduction on their taxes if they subscribed to a local news outlet.

I can tell you that were we to receive any sort of financial help from the government, it would go directly toward publishing more local news for you.

METRO photo

There are certain things Cyber Monday and the internet can’t do for us as we shop during this holiday season. While the sales may be great online, there are some downfalls that we’ll experience this year making shopping locally even more important. 

The next several weeks are going to be hard for devoted holiday shoppers thanks to COVID-19 and the continuous supply chain concerns that are happening across the country. 

Experts are anticipating that large retailers like Apple and Amazon will experience a hit with sales due to shipping issues and staffing challenges. And although this will be tough for those businesses, it will also be a stress for the consumers themselves. 

Whereas shopping via online Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals in the past was an easy click with shipping coming days after, buyers might see a delay in receiving those products in the mail. 

But this might be a good time for us to take a step back and really support our neighbors who own their own shops in our local villages and towns. 

Instead of anticipating a package in the mail — which might not even get here on time — we should head into town and shop small this holiday. The goods will be there right in front of us and we can take them home that day — easy one-stop shopping that makes our lives easier, but also provides income to a family owned business. 

Shopping small comes with its own benefits: we can see the products, touch them and measure them for size. We can find unique things that may not be available on a larger company website, making that gift a one-of-a-kind present the recipient will treasure. 

And on top of that, it provides that shop owner with extra money to pay their own bills. Shopping small is a win-win for everyone.

After a tough two years post the initial outbreak of the pandemic, mom and pops have been hit hard with little ability to recover. 

By shopping locally this year, it brings money back to the economy which then goes back to our own street repairs and our community. 

We know that online shopping is usually easier, but with the current state of inventory and the surrounding issues, it might actually be better to walk over and visit a family owned shop. 

Try it out this holiday season, and you certainly won’t be disappointed. 

Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Ah, the benefits of an older bladder.

Granted, that’s not generally the case. Usually, I get up in the middle of the night, realizing that the dream that involves the search for a bathroom is my brain’s way of telling me that I need to urinate in real life.

I shift my weight slightly toward the floor, hoping that the rocking motion of my body doesn’t move the bed so much that I wake my wife or the cat sleeping on her, who sometimes sees my movement as a starter’s gun to race toward the table in the laundry room to devour another can of the same food he eats every day.

I slide my feet off the bed and try not to step on our huge dog, who moves around often enough that he could easily be that furry thing under my feet. My toes can’t always tell whether that’s him or just the softer part of the inside-out sweatpants I’ve been wearing for a week. I also try to avoid the other cat, whose tail is like a spring waiting for me to step on so he can shriek loudly enough to wake my wife and terrify the other cat and the dog.

When I reach the bathroom, I try to urinate into the bowl but away from the water to avoid any splashing sound. I retrace my steps back to the bed, hoping the safe places to step on the way out from the bed are still safe on the return.

This past week, the bathroom routine gave me the opportunity to look at a rare event. I watched the extended lunar eclipse, which was the longest it’s been in 580 years. I crept out to the hallway to view it through a window, hoping I didn’t have to go out in the cold to catch a glimpse of Earth’s shadow. I was also concerned that the dog, even at 3 a.m., would fear that he was missing out on something and bark, negating my efforts to enjoy the eclipse in silence.

I was amazed at the shadow that slipped slowly across the moon. I took an unimpressive photo that captured the yin and yang of the light and shadow.

The next morning, I ran into some neighbors on my routine walk with my dog.

After saying how they’d stayed up all night to watch this rare event — they are retired and don’t have any time pressure most days — they started to recount their evening.

“I was tempted to dress in black and howl while I watched it,” the man said.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Well, you know, I figured as long as I was up, the neighbors on the other side who think it’s OK to play basketball at 11:30 p.m. should know I was awake and active.”

“Hmm,” I said.

“Yeah, and the other day, they had a party and threw beer bottles over the fence into our backyard. It took until late in the day for them to pick them up.”

“That’s terrible,” I said. “Sorry to hear that.”

As I walked back with my dog, who was eager for his post-walk breakfast, I realized we had never discussed the sights from the night before.

Sleep deprivation overshadowed a discussion of the observation of the Earth’s long shadow.

As for me, I was, for the first time, grateful for the momentary need to pee. The evening and the morning interaction that followed brought to the fore a collision of the mundane and the magnificent.

Metro photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief

A local physician had a remarkable result. In clinical practice, he was treating a patient with severe migraines. The patient, 60 years old, had been experiencing migraines for 12 years. Recently they increased in frequency, and he was enduring six to eight debilitating headaches per month, each lasting more than 72 hours.  This equates to 18-24 headache days each month.

For those of us who suffer migraines, we know this must have been horrible. A migraine is not just a bad headache. It is as if a drill were unremittingly penetrating one spot in the head, all the while accompanied by nausea, vomiting and an inability to tolerate light. The aftermath is to feel hung over and unsteady. Migraines steal hours and days from the lives of the afflicted. 

The patient had tried various traditional medications, like zolmitriptan and topiramate to no avail. He also avoided possible migraine triggers like aged cheese, caffeine and red wine without success.

The internist, who specializes in lifestyle medicine, put him on a plant-based, high nutrient diet that he created of essentially low inflammatory foods every day. Hence he named it the LIFE diet, and its centerpiece is composed primarily of dark leafy greens, frozen blueberries, a banana and soy milk in a smoothie. These high fiber ingredients, when reinforced with flax seed meal, and a little pomegranate juice, can be made into a 32-ounce drink by a sturdy electric blender. The diet is further reinforced by eating more nutrient-dense veggies, like spinach, kale, arugula and romaine lettuce, for example, at subsequent meals in the day. These foods are thought to reduce chronic inflammation in the body.

The LIFE diet also limits dairy and red meat, whole grains, starchy vegetables and oils, according to reporter Sarah Jacoby, who interviewed the doctor for “Today” last Thursday, Nov. 18.

The results of the new regimen were dramatic. After two months, the patient was experiencing one headache per month. After three months, the headaches were gone. The patient suffered no further migraines. This result has lasted more than seven years so far.

At this point, the local physician, teaming up with his brother, who is a medical researcher, wrote up the study and sent it to the highly prestigious British Medical Journal or BMJ that publishes medical case studies deemed important. Delighted when it was accepted for publication, the doctor, who is a passionate believer in the healing power of dark green leafy vegetables, was further pleased when he learned that BMJ, considering the study valuable enough, had sent out a press release to publications all over the world with a summary.

The response was overwhelming, a testament to the need for a remedy to a universal malady. As of this writing, more than 40 news outlets across the globe, including UPI and WebMD, have picked up the story, from Europe to the Middle East to Asia and Australia, translating it into a dozen different languages.

“I think this (case report) is a tremendous start in the treatment of migraine headaches,” added the local physician. “This is kind of revolutionary to have the ability to say, ‘Not only does it work, but it works in the worst case scenarios. And it works in a short period of time.’”  He has seen similar results in other of his patients.

Dr. Charles Flippen, professor of neurology at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, agreed, stating that the change the patient experienced was, “rather impressive,” especially how long the effect has lasted. He added, “Now a large sample is necessary to draw conclusions about the benefits of diet change on migraines or chronic migraines,” as quoted by Sarah Jacoby for “Today.” 

Dr. Dawn Buse, clinical professor in the department of neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York said, “There have been some recent studies suggesting that major dietary changes can reduce migraine symptoms,” according to “Today.”

“Even though we don’t know the exact mechanism for migraine, the concept of an inflammatory process as part of the underlying physiology of chronic pain has been around for decades,” explained Flippen. “So the idea that you have a diet that reduces the production of pro-inflammatory substances would fit nicely with our current understanding of migraine … It’s not purely magic that it worked.”

For the doctor, whose work has now circled the globe, the satisfaction is enormous. “I went into medicine to help people. It’s beyond gratifying that I may be helping people to take their lives back by reversing disease with the LIFE diet,” he concluded.  

And the name of the local internist who authored the study that has gone viral: my son and our own columnist, David Dunaief, MD.

Pixabay photo

As the days get shorter and the sun sets sooner, car crashes are more common. According to the American Automobile Association, after the clocks are turned back to standard time in the fall, more incidents happen between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m.

AAA recently reported that in 2020 there were 33,956 animal-related crashes in the state. Suffolk County, with 1,310 animal-related incidents, was the second highest in the state, tying with Monroe and behind Orange County. After the sun sets, residents are aware that animals can dart across the street, especially deer. Their sudden appearance on roadways in the fall is a regular occurrence as it’s rutting season for the creatures. It’s the time that they mate, and they have matters on their mind other than safety. 

While the last thing any driver wants to do is hit an animal, there are other dangers to look out for after dark. Pedestrians can still be walking in the evening hours. Many people wear dark colors and are hard to spot. The problem is compounded when they aren’t carrying flashlights that would draw attention to them.

While pedestrians can take care to wear the appropriate clothing and take a flashlight or wear some type of reflective material on jackets or shirts, experts advise drivers to pay extra attention, especially on streets that are lit dimly or not at all.

In areas where deer signs are posted or while traveling in busy areas where people may be walking, it’s best to drive slowly, of course, and keep more distance than usual between your car and the one in front of you. The same advice can come in handy when leaves are wet and can cause dangerous road conditions that make it difficult to stop. If a driver finds  a deer or a pedestrian close by, or tires slipping on leaves, the best thing is not to swerve suddenly and to brake slowly.

One last note, drivers need to make sure they stay centered in the lane. Many tend to gravitate more to the side when headlights go on; however, this can place vehicles even closer to pedestrians and animals. To make sure your car is centered in the lane, try to draw an imaginary line that goes from the asphalt to the sky. Look at the level of the horizon to stay on course if you feel you are gravitating to one side.

Driving at night can be a little tricky, but with extra care we can keep ourselves and our neighbors safe. 

METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Flying? Are we really flying? Well, sure, why not, right? Everyone else is flying.

Wait, then again, everyone else seems to be flying. What if one of those other people is sick? Don’t think too much about it and breathe through your nose. Oh, you can’t because the two masks you’re wearing are pinching your nose? Well, tough! 

They’re serving drinks and cookies? People have to lower their masks to eat and drink, right? So, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of mandatory masks? Look away from everyone who’s breathing. Yeah, that’ll help.

Okay, finally, we’re on the ground. 

Hey, this is a nice campus. The sidewalks are packed and filled with so much energy, not all of which is positive.

“Why are all these $#@! parents here this weekend? I have several tests and I don’t need them all staring at me!”

That girl is sharing her academic anxiety with her friend and anyone else within 100 feet of her. Subtle, real subtle! Tempted as I am to let her know that parents, likely including her own, make this sometimes miserable experience possible, I refrain. She might be my son’s current or future friend.

I ask two students for the location of a building. The first shrugs and points me in the wrong direction and the second nearly draws a map. Okay, one for two.

I sit just in time for the start of a talk by successful alumni, who connect their careers to the lessons they learned at school. Clever marketing! Other parents chuckle at the jokes. I imagine these parents as college students. In my mind, the presenters onstage become Broadway performers. Each of the two men and two women, which I presume is a well-planned balance of genders, does his or her rendition of “how I succeeded,” with the subtext, just feet from the school president, of, “keep paying those tuitions!”

When the session ends, the phone rings. It’s my son! He’s strolling across a lawn. Wait, is that really him? Much as I want to run over and squeeze him, I play it cool, congratulating myself on my impulse control. Well done, Dan. You haven’t embarrassed him so far, but the weekend is young yet, even if you are not. He adjusts his hair, a move I’ve seen him and almost all his friends do frequently, even while running back and forth on a basketball court. What’s with all the hair adjustment? I quietly ask for permission to hug him. Yay! He agrees. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and fight the urge to pick him up, which is probably best for my back.

As we head to his dorm, he tells me he hasn’t done laundry in nine days. I don’t know whether that’s a hint, as in, “Dad, while you’re here…” or a statement of fact.

We part company and I learn about the evolving world of the commercialization of college athletes, who can use their name, image and likeness to make money. He’s listening to a psychology lecture about, who else, Sigmund Freud.

At a football game, I wonder how it can be this cold in Louisiana. Aren’t we in the deep south? We leave before it’s over, waiting in the cool air for 11 minutes for an expensive Uber — they must know it’s parents weekend — to take two families who are heading back to the same hotel.

10 pm. Who eats this late? I’m usually half way to sleep by now. My older brother is undoubtedly already in REM sleep. My stomach is going to hate this. Shut up stomach!

Looking around the table at these families, one thing is clear: these parents adore their children.

This is part of the story of how these boys got here and, hopefully, will help them continue to learn lessons, like how to dress for a cold football game and how to make reservations in advance before a busy parents weekend so we can eat earlier.