CLOSE
Opinion

by -
0 614
METRO photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Parenthood is filled with excrement, poop, and waste products. Call it what you will. It’s true.

We start out with this adorable lump of human flesh. And, for many of us, an anxiety that grows at a rate that far outstrips the pace at which the little person grows.

Wait? What! The baby was born at eight pounds. It’s now seven pounds? We must be screwing up. What are we doing wrong? Can I get someone on the phone immediately to explain what’s happening and how to fix it? No, I can’t wait.

Of course, we don’t know how good we have it until we enter the next stage. If, for example, our baby is drinking breast milk, its poop smells like roses and cherry blossoms on a beautiful, windy day compared with the cesspool stink that pours out of them once they start eating solid food or, heaven forbid, they get the Coxsackie virus.

But, of course, once you realize the magnificence of that early mild smell, it’s gone and you’re left trying to figure out how to get the particles of poop out from creases and crevices without causing discomfort to the small person whose sole mode of expression seems to be to cry and complain without end.

“Oh, that’s such a healthy cry,” they’ll say. “He’s a strong lad.”

“Oh, shut up! And stop calling her a lad.”

So, why am I writing about parenthood? Did I suddenly have to change 200 diapers last weekend?

No, you see, we’re about to welcome the first new member of our extended family in decades. Yeah, of course, we’re all excited and yes, I’m going to have the chance to be a great uncle when, up to now, I’ve been something between a regular uncle and perhaps an indulgent and slightly playful version of a run-of-the-mill uncle.

But, wow, our nephew’s wife is due any second, which kind of pushes us up the generational ladder.

We have heard about all the people of our nephew’s generation who are putting off or perhaps even ruling out parenthood.

But we also know that people are still having children and that those children are the ultimate form of optimism.

Sure, new parents, even if they’ve read 100 books, might not be completely prepared for every scenario. 

We went to all those Lamaze classes years ago around now as we prepared for the birth of our first child. And, you know what? They didn’t help one iota. Those classes were like giving us a toy steering wheel on a roller coaster. We could turn it however we wanted, but it wouldn’t affect the crazy ride that made us feel like our stomachs were going to drop out of our bodies on the next hair-raising turn.

If anyone actually thought about all the things they had to do as parents — staying up with a sick kid, worrying where those children are, thinking about all the germs that might hurt them (okay, I’m OCD, I admit it) — it’d be hard to prepare for, imagine and deal with the potential challenges. Most parenting playbooks are like New Year’s resolutions. Yeah, you’d like to be patient and even tempered, maybe lose some weight, sleep better, and all that good stuff, but things get in the way, including ourselves.

When you have a child, you not only have to worry about your sons and daughters, but you also have to manage the two or more families that always know better and whose ideas of everything from the right clothing to wear with variable temperatures to the right way to hold them to any of a host of other choices are likely different.

You can’t please everyone, including your relatives and the little crying, pooping child that doesn’t have work to do tomorrow and wants company late at night until he or she is ready to fall asleep.

Ultimately, parenting is a leap of faith. We all have to deal with craziness, discomfort, sleep deprivation and an uneasiness that comes from not knowing what to do next. And yet, during the best moments, when they’re truly happy, when that giggle bubbles out of them, massaging your ears and bringing a smile to your face, you realize what a spectacular privilege, excrement and all, parenting truly is. 

We get to see and share life with people whose thoughts, ideas, and resilience inspire us and, somewhere along the way, encourage us to share the best versions of ourselves.

by -
0 658
Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Six degrees of separation could help us all.

We are only six people away from anyone in the world.

We probably don’t have to go that far to find people who live throughout the United States.

That means we have friends, relatives, professional colleagues, former classmates and others who can make a difference.

New Yorkers likely have the support of Senators Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand when it comes to critical funding for the National Institutes of Health and for the National Science Foundation, whose financial support is under severe threat from the current budget the senate is considering and that the house has already passed.

Cuts in these areas will have critical and irreversible consequences for us, our children, our families and our future.

The money that goes into science has paid enormous dividends over the decades. The United States is able to outcompete many other nations because it has attracted the world’s best researchers to cutting edge areas.

These people drive the future of innovation, provide medical expertise that saves lives, and start companies that provide numerous high paying jobs around the country.

Cutting back means retreating from the world stage, enabling other nations to develop treatments and cures for diseases that might cost us much more money or become less accessible to those who weren’t in on the ground floor.

It also will hurt our economy, as patents and processes lead to profits elsewhere.

Shutting off the valve of innovation will turn fertile fields of scientific exploration and innovation into barren deserts.

This is where those six degrees comes in. New Yorkers probably don’t need to urge our senators to commit to scientific budgets. But senators from other states, hoping to remain in favor with their party and to act in a unified way, might not be as comfortable supporting scientific research when they and their constituents might believe they don’t stand to gain as much from that investment in the short term. After all, not every state has leading research institutions such as Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory, Brookhaven National Laboratory and Stony Brook University, a top-rated research institution and a downstate flagship for the SUNY system.

You remember those relatives whose politics are different from your own and who often create a scene at Thanksgiving or the holidays? Well, it’s time to talk with them, not at them. Let them know how much you, they and, an argument that’s hard to ignore, their parents and their children stand to lose if they stop investing in science.

How about that annoying guy at the company retreat who is thrilled to talk about how sad the elites are these days?

Talk to him, too. Let him know that his parent with Alzheimer’s or his uncle with a debilitating condition could one day benefit from discoveries in labs that desperately need funding.

Indeed, his own hearing or vision might depend on continued investment into research about diseases that become more prevalent as he ages.

We all benefit from these discoveries and we all lose out when we stop investing or contributing.

As for his children, they might get jobs in companies that don’t yet exist but that will form as a result of the discovery of products or processes that arise out of research.

The United States is still the only nation to send people (and it’s only men so far) to the moon, allowing them to set foot on a place other than our incredible planet.

Those moments and achievements, even decades later, inspire people to want to become astronauts, to join NASA, to provide the kind of information and research that make future missions possible.

While we don’t need funding for everything, we benefit from ongoing efforts and discoveries in direct and indirect ways. Shutting down labs, reducing internships and graduate school offerings, and stopping the process of asking questions creates headwinds for innovation, the economy and medical discoveries.

Urge those outside of New York to write to their senators, to make the kind of choices that will support and enrich the country and to prevent a one-way road to a dead end. We don’t have to agree on everything, but it’s worth the effort to encourage people to let our elected officials know that their constituents understand what’s at stake.

A senator from Mississippi might not care what you, a New Yorker, thinks, but he’s more likely to pay attention to a resident in his district. We need science whisperers in every state. We can not and will not let the NIH budget decline without a fight. Take a jog, practice yoga, meditate. Then, go talk to those relatives and encourage them to support science and the future.

by -
0 584
Pixaby

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

Perhaps you have noticed that there is little to no national news in our newspapers and on our website? We assume you understand that it is not because we are unaware of what is happening in our country and in the world. Most of us here at the company start each day with the news via radio or television or cable and even with news flashes from different sources on our cellphones. We talk about those items in the office and listen or watch when we return home. 

In fact, that’s the problem.

We can’t seem to escape the plethora of upsetting news that fills our waking hours. But we strive to provide one retreat from the chaotic world in which we live: the hometown news.

That is not to say we report no bad news in our towns and villages. Of course we do. News is news. But one positive about local news: to a large extent, we can bask in the good events that occur and have some degree of control over what happens around us. We can take pride in our students’ achievements, we can make our voices heard in development plans if we know what is going on, we can get to know our interesting neighbors from their profiles, we can plan our weekends from the many offerings in the calendar. In short, local news is a mirror held up to our daily lives whose many details can’t be found anywhere else.

We strive to make local news an oasis amid a sea of distressing troubles.

That means, we regularly turn away letters and opinion pieces that protest against national and international politicians and policies unless what is happening affects us only locally. But if you want to express your strongly held views on a local matter, however minute, we provide a platform from which you can be heard. 

To get broader news, there are many sources. To get local news, there is only us, the hometown paper or website. We don’t want to be thought of as smaller versions of daily newspapers any more than children are to be considered smaller adults.

In that way, we have not changed.

However, gathering and disseminating the news has dramatically changed, even as computers and the internet started to alter the industry fifty years ago, right around the time our company began. 

Pixabay image

You are probably aware of the revolutionary switch from hot type associated with Ben Franklin’s day, to the cold type that referred to mainframe and then desktop computers half a century ago. Now, when you walk into a news building, if you can find one, you see that the offices are largely empty. Many staff members are working remotely.

What does that mean?

In some ways, it is a win. We can interview by FaceTime, cover meetings by zoom, write up our stories, sometimes in record time and send them into the office or post to the web via the internet. All of this can be accomplished while we are still in our pajamas, drinking our coffee, and without our having to pay a babysitter if we take turns with our spouse, who is also working remotely.

If the children have already grown up and left home, well then, we can put in a load of wash, go back to work, pause to change the load to the dryer, and resume where we left off. And if we move, we can still keep our jobs. 

In some ways, it’s a loss. Talking with each other digitally is not the same as talking together in the office, where we can bounce ideas around the room and watch each other’s body language. I believe we are more polite, stilted even, on a zoom gathering. Digital has sucked away the personal.

We at TBR News Media are functioning with four key positions filled remotely. Quality may not be suffering, but we certainly miss our staffers, their chatter and their random thoughts. 

by -
0 658
File photo by Raymond Janis

We are frustrated!

Residents of the Three Villages and the Village of Head of the Harbor have planned a rally to focus on the still unrepaired Grist Mill Pond and Harbor Road. All are encouraged to participate on Saturday, May 31 from 12 to 2 p.m. We will meet on the corner of Harbor Road and Main Street.

As residents, we are frustrated! The dam, pond and roads were washed away during a catastrophic rain event last Aug. 18 and 19. Now, nine months later, we are still waiting for repairs to begin.

While the Town of Brookhaven and the Ward Melville Heritage Organization bicker between themselves over naming the responsible party, the road continues to disintegrate, the pond is a muddy mess, and the major route through the community is completely inaccessible. Add to that, fear of delayed critical response times for ambulances, fire trucks and first responders that now must use narrow, winding roads to enter the area.

We implore the Town of Brookhaven and the Ward Melville Heritage Organization to develop a plan to repair Harbor Road and restore Mill Pond. Enough is enough!

Dale Salzberg

Head of the Harbor

Cuts to Medicaid would be disastrous for our community

I find it shameful that my congressman, Nick LaLota [R, NY1], voted to slash important programs that his constituents depend upon, in order to provide massive tax cuts for the wealthy.  LaLota voted for devastating cuts to Medicaid.  The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office has indicated that 8.6 million Americans will lose their health coverage because of this. 

LaLota voted for cuts that will cause 3 million to lose Food Stamps.  He voted to cut funding to combat climate change.  He voted to cut funding for Medicare.  He voted to cut funding for our public schools.  The bill LaLota voted for will increase the deficit by $3.8 trillion over the decade, requiring higher taxes and further cuts.  The Trump-imposed SALT cap was set to expire, but LaLota voted to extend it, just changing the size of the cap. 

All Long Island Democratic members of Congress called for eliminating the cap.  The top 0.1% of earners will see tax cuts of $390,000 per year each because of the bill that LaLota voted for. [By voting for the Big, Beautiful Bill, LaLota voted to support all the cuts on all these programs.]   Nick LaLota has sold out the poor, the middle class, our seniors and our environment in order to give massive tax cuts to the wealthy.

Robert Marcus

Setauket

On Port Jeff energy

The George Altemose letter, “Learning from Europe” [May, 22], certainly has it right. 

Electric energy generation is very hard to get right when demand fluctuates, battery and wind come online and must be balanced using peaker plants. Electric energy affects us all. It affects air quality and the environment, cost of living and even our tax revenues. 

LIPA has to plan wisely to keep the power running [24/7 365 days a year].  

Millions of dollars a year are provided to the Village o f Port Jefferson,  Town of  Brookhaven Town and Suffolk County that benefit these municipalities.  

This energy coordination takes wise leadership all around.  Port Jefferson Trustee Xena Ugrinsky and I meet regularly with Katrina Westerhof – National Grid’s hydrogen chief and their management regarding their plans for our power plant.

Mayor Lauren Sheprow has enabled this through her support of the Port Jefferson Power Plant committee that Ugrinsky chairs and I am on.

We are making really good progress in pursuing a cleaner, greener, less expensive energy future for central Long Island’s very uncertain energy course with the support of Sheprow, and this benefits both the residents, and to an even larger extent, the school district.

Help us continue enabling Port Jefferson to have a seat at the table with respect to what happens at the power plant.

Bruce Miller

Port Jefferson

WRITE TO US … AND KEEP IT LOCAL  

We welcome your letters, especially those responding to our local coverage, replying to other letter writers’ comments and speaking mainly to local themes. Letters should be no longer than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style, good taste and uncivil language. They will also be published on our website. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include an address and phone number for confirmation. Email letters to: [email protected] or mail them to TBR News Media, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733

 

by -
0 831
Pixabay photo

Beaches and rivers are signature settings of a fun Long Island summer and one of its most attractive features. Water is always within a 40-minute drive, tempting overheated residents with a swim. 

Plunging into the crashing waves and relazing in the cool, refreshing water is wonderfully restorative, but includes some dangers we can’t ignore. The ocean and the Long Island Sound are not pools–there isn’t a shallow floor to stand on when we tire or side walls to cling to for a break. 

Last week, tragedy struck our community after a man drowned in the Nissequogue River by the Kings Park Bluff. Unable to combat the converging waters and powerful waves, the swimmer tired and was overtaken. 

When tides become too strong, Smith Point Chief of Lifeguards Kevin Kolar urges us to lie on our backs and swim parallel to the shore. This strategy is essential in both a river or the ocean. The challenge, however, is staying calm during the adrenaline rush of fear after we realize we are further than we intended. 

“When [swimmers] are panicked and see themselves moving away from shore, they want to go from point A to B. They don’t want to waste their energy going around,” he said, adding that resisting the urge to try to push ahead and swim against the tide pulling you out is like stepping into a punch. Instincuntually, we want to return to safety as soon as possible. 

Many swimmers think we can swim in and through the ripe tide if we use enough power. This will just tire us out. Ripe tides take the form of a mushroom cloud–the current is drawn from the shore in a narrow stem before billowing out for about 30 yards. Lying on our back and gently swimming toward the shore at an angle is key to preventing exhaustion. We should not assume a vertical position, which will cause us to sink “like a needle through skin”, as Kolar said. Floating horizontally will prevent us from expending energy simply trying to stay above water. 

We need to know our capabilities. Even experienced swimmers are no match for a relentless current. Enjoy the beaches. Have fun in the water, but be prepared, look out for potential rip currents which can be identified by an area with fewer breaking waves or a visible line of seaweed leading outwards. Keep an eye out for others in distress, and swim safely this summer. 

by -
0 790
File photo by Raymond Janis

Learning from Europe

All across Europe, countries have recently been plagued by electrical power blackouts due to unstable sources of renewable energy, primarily from solar arrays and windmills.

The most extensive blackout was experienced in the Iberian Peninsula, including Spain and Portugal, as well as portions of Southern France. The determination of the exact cause of the problem is quite complex, partly attributable to the interaction of the various energy supplies, which include wind, solar, nuclear, natural gas and hydroelectric sources. Many experts are concerned about the problem of inertia, which is provided by systems with large rotating mechanical assemblies, or flywheels, such as conventional electromechanical generators, but is not found in typical renewable systems, employing solar, wind or lithium-ion battery sources. High levels of inertia tend to keep the AC voltage frequency, which is nominally 50 Hz in Europe (60 Hz in the United States), at a relatively constant value, thereby providing a high degree of stability to the electrical grid system. With large proportions of renewable energy sources, the system inertia is significantly reduced, leading to pronounced instabilities and eventual system failure.

As a result of this and other blackout problems, notably in Germany, most European countries are beginning to reevaluate their current energy policies, which have had goals of achieving 100% reliance on renewable energy sources. Denmark, for example, outlawed nuclear power in 1985 but is now considering a reversal of this policy.

Here in the United States, [in] the home of beautiful Suffolk County, we are at the tip of the energy iceberg. In 1973, we got off to a great start with the Shoreham Nuclear Power Plant. Unfortunately, we had a governor whose shortcomings included a pronounced lack of foresight and who made sure that the Shoreham reactor was decommissioned and never put into service. Hopefully, here in 2025, we will be able to learn from the mistakes of others. We should honestly consider the pros and cons of each type of system and choose the one that is the best overall.

George Altemose

Setauket

Do more for Medicaid

In a recent letter to the editor [“Thank you,” May 15, 2025], a reader thanked Rep. Nick LaLota [R, NY1] for signing on to a letter in support of Medicaid. Unfortunately, Mr. LaLota’s voting record on this issue tells a different story. Mr. LaLota voted for a budget proposal that cuts Medicaid by hundreds of billions of dollars. Mr. LaLota claims that he’s interested in rooting out “waste, fraud, and abuse” and that these cuts will not harm those who rely on Medicaid. However, a recent report from the Fiscal Policy Institute refutes this claim. FPI notes that a cut is a cut, and that these cuts will disproportionately impact older adults and disabled people.  

Mr. LaLota has suggested mandating work requirements for Medicaid, claiming that this will root out “fraud and abuse.” However, the proposed work requirements suggested by Mr. LaLota and the GOP have been proven to be expensive to administer, kick sick people off Medicaid and ultimately do not save a great deal of money. The people kicked off Medicaid will likely not find other coverage and ultimately wind up uninsured, which will result in our communities being less healthy.  

Mr. LaLota is claiming there is “waste” in Medicaid, while in fact Medicaid is one of the most efficient ways to deliver health care. According to Medicaid Matters New York, over 148,000 constituents in the first congressional district are covered by Medicaid and Child Health Plus. Within that population served by these programs, 29% are children under the age of 19, 18% are seniors over the age of 65 and 13,000 are people with disabilities. Mr. LaLota’s vote to cut Medicaid will hit these vulnerable constituents the hardest. 

If these cuts are enacted, the first congressional district will lose over $1.3 billion in Medicaid funds. How can Mr. LaLota justify taking health care away from his most vulnerable constituents to finance tax cuts for billionaires and corporations? We need Mr. LaLota to commit, not just in his words, but in his votes, to prioritize the well-being of his constituents who rely on Medicaid over tax breaks for the wealthy. 

Shoshana Hershkowitz

South Setauket 

In response to “Questioning ‘Elder Parole’ for cop killers” from May 8 

As community members, and as people who believe in redemption, we respectfully disagree with the previous letter writer. The Elder Parole bill is a common-sense response to the senseless rise in older adults behind bars identified as a fiscal crisis by the state comptroller. Even as the prison population declined significantly in recent years, the number of older adults behind bars has increased because of extreme sentences and a parole system that prioritizes vengeance above public safety. Rather than spending a fortune to keep people who have completely transformed in a cell as they grow old, get sick and languish, we believe deeply in giving them a chance to be considered for release when they can still work and help support their families. 

We understand these issues are deeply emotional for people on all sides, and rightly so, but facts are facts: older adults, including those serving time for violent crimes from long ago, have the lowest recidivism rates, with some age groups almost never returning to prison with new convictions. At the same time, the costs of incarceration skyrocket with age.

None of this is to say the bill would release people simply because of their age. Age isn’t even a consideration in the parole laws. But older adults would get the opportunity to make their case and be considered on a case-by-case basis, and we would urge that they be considered fairly based on who they are today, what they have done to change, whether they pose a real risk. 

This bill is backed by many of the state’s civil rights groups along with crime victim advocates and anti-gun violence experts because allowing people to earn their pathways to release promotes community safety — and because many victims themselves are sadly criminalized. Moreover, the enormous cost savings could be better spent on mental health care, education, support for victims and more.

People can and do change and giving them a bigger reason to do so can only help. We encourage our state legislature to pass the bill this year.

Deborah Little, Setauket

Jacqueline Gosdigian, Stony Brook

Ronni Schultz, Port Jefferson Station

An uplifting response to my Memorial Day note

 Just before Memorial Day, I sent an email to an old friend of mine, “Thank you for your service.”  

The day after graduating from high school, Kevin began working as a “runner” on Wall Street.  A short time later he was drafted and sent to fight in Vietnam.  

A terrific all-around athlete he spent about a year over there, with much of his time serving as the “point” on patrols.   After a week’s leave in Hong Kong, Kev came back to learn the grim news that the fellow who’d been working “point” in his place had been killed.

Sadly, like so many other vets who returned during that time, my buddy was treated poorly.  He like thousands of his fellow servicemen and women, weren’t shown the proper appreciation for their sacrifices.  Nonetheless, he finished his service by being part of the solemn, often heartbreaking, “Folded Flag Ceremony.”

Kevin’s response to my note was, a humbling, uplifting, “Thank you.  I served proudly for this great country.”  

 Jim Soviero

East Setauket

by -
0 675
Scene from Huntington High School's 2022 graduation. Photo from Huntington school district

By Daniel Dunaief

Graduates preparing to emerge into what passes for the real world these days need to keep in mind something they studied in introductory economics: supply and demand.

You see, any imbalance creates opportunities and the world outside the academic cocoon has plenty of those.

Let’s start with supply. We have plenty of anger, frustration, irritation, and hostility. Yes, I know those are emotions, but, really, aren’t those in full display regularly and aren’t they at the heart of decisions and actions?

Anger and bitterness float around like a dense fog, settling in at the comment section for stories, expressing themselves out the open windows of cars stuck in traffic, and appearing in abundance in long, slow lines at the grocery store, the deli counter, or the dreaded Department of Motor Vehicles.

We also have plenty of absolute certainty, particularly among our fearless leaders at every level. This certainty manifests itself in many ways, as people are convinced they are right, no alternatives exist, and they can and will prevail over time.

For many of them, the world has returned to a state of black and white, where good and right are on one side and evil and darkness reside on the other. The reality, as many movies, books, and forms of entertainment suggests, is somewhere in between, with a wide spectrum of grey and, if you look for it, magnificent colors.

These same leaders are neither particularly good winners or particularly good losers, not that some of them would admit to losing anything anyway.

We also have innumerable entertainers, who collect followers like Pied Pipers with their flutes, sharing videos, ideas, and whatever else brings in viewers. They need followers and, with people eager to stay plugged in to the latest compelling popular culture, the people seem to need these attractions.

With such a high supply of followers, you don’t need to be just another one in a long list.

We have no shortage of people willing to offer advice and second guess anyone and everyone else. From their couch, sports commentators always somehow know better.

We also have plenty of electronic, artificial and technological systems that aren’t working as well as we, and the companies that use them, would like. That’s a supply of inefficiencies with a demand for improvements.

I can’t tell you how many times a voice activated system asks me for information, I provide it, the system repeats it and then the whole process starts over again, without getting closer to a real person or a resolution. These systems have bad days far too often.

Okay, now, on the demand side, we need more people who listen carefully and closely and who can learn in and on their jobs.

These days, people who find solutions, take responsibility and represent any business well are in shorter supply. Plenty of people seem indifferent to disgruntled customers, waiting for a better job to come along while they allow themselves to do work they don’t find particularly rewarding or compelling.

We also have a demand for listeners. With all the frustrations and disappointments out there, sometimes people don’t need anything more than someone who can listen to and acknowledge them.

On the demand side, the need for questions is extraordinarily high. When recent graduates don’t know or understand something, they can and should ask.

An answer along the lines of, “well, we do that because that’s the way it’s always been done,” offers an opportunity to improve on a process, an idea, an approach or an interaction.

The demand for people who can disagree effectively, can show respect, and can bring people together is extraordinarily high.

We don’t all need to agree on everything and to nod our heads like artificial intelligence automatons. We need people who can bring us together and keep us focused on shorter and longer term goals.

The need for positivity, solutions and great ideas is high. We live in an incredible country with a fascinating mix of opportunities, people, narratives, and potential.

Be prepared to use some of the ways of thinking you learned in college. When the majority of people are going right, consider what going left might mean and vice versa.

Other people might have their habits, patterns and routines, but you don’t have to adapt them as your own immediately. Be prepared to offer something new.

Your fresh perspective through eyes that haven’t seen a process occur repeatedly can and should be an advantage.

Yes, you might be a rookie in a new job or a new program, but that can mean that the demand for your insights can make you a valuable and welcome addition to any team.

by -
0 661
Pixabay photo

By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

It wasn’t easy getting to The Big Easy last Thursday. On our way to my youngest grandson’s graduation from college, we were leaving from JFK in the afternoon, and there were delays all along the way. Even after we finally got to the departure gate and onto the plane, we were held on the tarmac for almost two hours, taxiing from runway to runway, until the pilot was given the signal to take off. 

A consolation was the relatively smooth three-hour flight. The ride to the hotel, in the dark, took about half an hour and was made pleasant by an interesting driver. Originally from the Ukraine, he filled us in on his immigration tribulations and his family’s situation back home. Although hungry when we arrived, we were more exhausted and fell right into bed.

We were well rewarded the next morning. One by one, with lots of hugging, the family connected with us at the Bearcat Cafe, one of the best breakfast restaurants I have ever had the pleasure of eating in. 

Now, New Orleans does have a fine reputation for eateries, so perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised. The clever pairings of offerings, the way the dishes were prepared and the joyful manner of the wait staff in serving us were unparalleled. So if you find yourself in NOLA, you know where to go to start your day in fine style.

We returned to the hotel and changed for the first of the two graduation ceremonies. Did I mention the heat? Yes, we knew it would be hot in Louisiana, and it didn’t disappoint. It was both oppressively hot and humid for me. I should explain that I am generally more comfortable in the cold, so I hastened from one air conditioned location to the next, where it was often too cold for some. But those were the extremes of the city.

The ceremonies were in Caesars Superdome, which was both huge and cool. We took our seats high above and far from the stage, and watched the graduates file in like ants below, wearing their black robes and caps, as jazz music played. Each student’s name was called, and he or she in turn walked across the stage to shake the hand of the patient college official. We waited with interest to hear how our name would inevitably be mangled, a common consequence at all family graduations. Surprisingly, it was not. All the visitors did their best to utter loud, congratulatory cheers for their graduating loved ones, and we made sufficient noise to be heard by our grandson as he accepted his diploma.

The second ceremony, for the entire university, was not until the following night, and so we had time to explore the city. Several of us had been there before, so we passed up Bourbon Street, although I made sure to enjoy a beignet at the branch of Cafe du Monde on the Riverwalk. Instead, we went to The Fly along the bank of the Mississippi River, sat in a small gazebo, and watched the muddy waters rush by. 

The River was almost two miles across at that point, and several tankers and tug boats traveled stately past in either direction. It occurred to me that I had never seen the Mississippi before, and since I had just recently finished reading “James,” a highly decorated novel that is a take off on “Huckleberry Finn,” the scene was populated by Mark Twain’s characters in my imagination. Additionally, several residents were cooking crawfish nearby in a big kettle, and the smells were delightful. They offered us a taste, in that polite Southern fashion; the crustacean was too spicy for me.

Also spicing up the trip was the news of 10 escaped prisoners, five of whom have now been recaptured. One was found in a fancy hotel, clearly a man of good taste.

We did drive through the Garden District, impressed by the historic homes, and we  viewed the house in which our grandson lived near the campus. We left the city and its bananas foster reluctantly, for there was much more to see.

by -
0 826

When we feel achy, nauseous and dizzy, we know something is wrong. We might visit the doctor, take cold medicine or cancel plans in order to get some rest.We quickly equate the corporeal symptoms with a physical ailment and treat the illness appropriately. A cut requires a bandage, a broken bone needs a cast. 

When we are mentally struggling, the problem is more difficult to diagnose. Our stubborn minds, too smart for their own good, may equivocate and minimize the pain, convincing ourselves that in the absence of physical symptoms, pain should not exist. We are busy–kids need rides to school, deadlines loom and work piles up. There isn’t time for a quiet moment to check in with our emotions.

It may seem inconvenient, or even embarrassing for us to admit that our mental state is suffering, but we can’t outrun, outwork or suppress something as vital as mental health. We shouldn’t accept it as a weakness or as an unavoidable dispositional quality. Help awaits to alleviate our discomfort or suffering. 

Prolonged distress or anxiety has physical consequences, such as high blood pressure, weight fluctuation, heart disease and sleep issues. We shouldn’t ignore our minds. 

Mental illness doesn’t discriminate by age, gender or class. Stigmas surrounding asking for help differ by demographic, with men less likely to reach for help when they are struggling. Prescribing to stereotypes and gender roles contributes to the idea that men shouldn’t ask for help, or are failing in their masculinity if they do. Less than half of men suffering from depression or anxiety actually seek help. 

It may seem like we are alone–that there must be something wrong with us for feeling anxious or depressed or paranoid. This is untrue. The World Health Organization estimates that 1 in 8 adults suffer from mental disorders each year. 

It is time to prioritize mental health instead of pushing it to the side. If something is off with friends or loved ones–they aren’t as enthusiastic about their hobbies, aren’t eating as much or are eating more than normal, or are isolating themselves– make sure they know you are there to support them and get them any help they may need. If you feel your mental health slipping, lean on those around you or call the Suffolk County’s Mental Health Helpline at 631-471-7242.  

Sometimes, just opening up and talking about what you are feeling can ease the pain. Other times, contacting a professional could be what work best.

by -
0 763
File photo by Raymond Janis

Thank you

Many have witnessed the ongoing conversations and press surrounding the congressional budget and the potential changes to the programs so many people depend on. I would like to send a quick thank you to Congressman Nick LaLota [R-NY1] for signing the letter to House leadership on April 14 affirming his commitment to Medicaid.

Long Island members of Congress sent a letter to congressional leaders stating, “we would like to reiterate our strong support for this program that ensures our constituents have reliable health care. Balancing the federal budget must not come at the expense of those who depend on these benefits for their health and economic security.”

“Our constituents are asking for changes to the health care system that will strengthen the health care workforce, offer low-income, working-class families expanded opportunities to save for medical expenses, support rural and underserved communities and help new mothers.”

As a local volunteer advocate for the Alzheimer’s Impact Movement, I look forward to seeing these necessary programs remain intact so many of our friends and family can receive these benefits they so desperately need.

Christina Russo

Cora

Praise for Hal Sheprow

Port Jeff lost a remarkable man and I lost a friend of over 50 years, Mayor Hal Sheprow.

We served together on the planning board some 35 years ago, sometimes disagreeing. After each meeting, we and Walt Berndt would bend elbows at the Elks and bond.

Hal’s contributions cannot be overstated. To purchase the country club and make it affordable for village residents made the bond we paid a bargain. Hal never took enough credit for it. !t was visionary!

Unfortunately, I found out about his funeral too late. My very best to his wonderful wife, Peg, and his kids.

Fred Levine

Jefferson’s Ferry

WRITE TO US … AND KEEP IT LOCAL  

We welcome your letters, especially those responding to our local coverage, replying to other letter writers’ comments and speaking mainly to local themes. Letters should be no longer than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style, good taste and uncivil language. They will also be published on our website. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include an address and phone number for confirmation. Email letters to: [email protected] or mail them to TBR News Media, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733

 

Prev1...234...169Next Page 3 of 169
TBR News Media is your local news and entertainment website.
We provide you with the latest breaking news and information for your community.
Contact us: [email protected]

Most Viewed

©