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Members of the Setauket Harbor Task Force. Photo from George Hoffman

Save the Sound’s most recent report card states that inner and outer Port Jefferson Harbor, as well as middle Port Jefferson Harbor (Setauket Harbor), are among Long Island Sound’s top five waterways, boasting strong water chemistry. Water chemistry ratings indicate that a body of water has healthy chemical conditions that support aquatic life and overall ecosystem health.

This is something to celebrate, as stormwater systems have steadily reduced our harbors’ nitrogen levels over the past 30 years.

However, despite our improved knowledge of waste disposal and our diligent efforts to test our water’s chemical and bacterial levels, more work remains to be done.

August’s devastating storm served as a stark reminder that Mother Nature is a powerful force. Despite our area’s best efforts, advanced technologies, and state-of-the-art flood safeguards, millions of dollars in damage proved that even our best preventive efforts can be in vain.

That is why we must not remain stagnant in our efforts to protect our island. Worsening weather conditions can easily overshadow even our most cautious endeavors. Following the recent storm, bacteria levels in Stony Brook Harbor and neighboring waterways spiked, creating an unsuitable environment for aquatic life—not to mention the dozens of fish that washed up on our streets.

So, TBR implores you: Please continue your efforts to keep our environment clean and safe. Properly dispose of household chemicals and waste, minimize fertilizer and pesticide use, and maintain your car to prevent leaks.

Don’t forget to pick up litter you see in the streets and be mindful of your own waste. Community cleanups are frequently held in our coverage areas, providing not only a great way to keep our environment pristine but also an opportunity to connect with fellow community members. Water conservation is crucial, as well. It helps maintain healthy water levels in rivers, lakes, and estuaries, preventing excessive pollution concentration, protecting our aquatic ecosystems, and ensuring sufficient water for recreation and wildlife survival.

Bask in the success of our environmental consciousness, but don’t rest on your laurels. Together, we can make Long Island cleaner and safer for our ecosystems than ever before!

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File photo by Raymond Janis

Saving our resources

Thank you, county Legislator Steve Englebright [D-Setauket] for your marvelous Port Jefferson Civic Association meeting presentation this past Monday, Oct. 14, regarding the natural geological forces that continue to reshape our North Shore.

The lecture explained why the North Shore harbors east of Mount Sinai have been washed away over the millennia, and why Mount Sinai is the next of six remaining harbors in nature’s destructive pathway. In the 1930s, Mount Sinai harbor entrance jetties were constructed to prevent the natural eastward drift of Port Jefferson beach sediment from occluding its entrance.

Not only did this help preserve the harbor’s spawning grounds for fish and its riparian habitat for wildlife. It also provided storm flood protection and preserved its wonderful recreational resources for boating, fishing, swimming and other outdoor activities. Its sediment drift prevention stabilized the foot of our bluff and permitted its millennially denuded surface to develop a lush vegetative cover over a span of eight-decades.

These benefits ceased by 2017 when the unmaintained western jetty succumbed to three decades of storm destruction. Its loss produced accelerated sand drift and foot erosion that led to the collapse of the bluff’s vegetated surface by 2019. Reconstruction of the jetty in 2020 is again preventing eastern beach drift, and the section with seawall construction is no longer experiencing toe erosion.

It appears that we will be able to piecemeal recover from this tragedy after expediting the experts’ plans for controlling drainage from above by: (a) removing all cliffside courts; (b) building an effective storm drainage system and berm; (c) establishing absorptive crest vegetation; (d) repairing the breakthrough areas of bluff erosion; and (e) moving new tennis and pickleball courts far from areas with drainage issues — perhaps to the lower parking lot with use of East Beach for overflow venue parking.

The sophisticated engineering and ongoing maintenance efforts of seawall “dikes” in the Netherlands is considered a global model for highly successful coastal flood defense, and proper maintenance of a seawall provides protection for high-rise buildings 20 feet from the sea in Miami. With proper maintenance, man can battle natures erosive forces. Although changes in our Phase II project would be bureaucratically inconvenient, perhaps we should consider saving taxpayers the burden of the expensive upland steel-wall component with the understanding that clubhouse relocation may be needed in the future.

Brookhaven Town should also be convinced to develop a comprehensive Water Protection Plan (including Port Jefferson) similar to that developed by Southampton Town. Visit www.southamptontownny.gov and click on “Coastal Res. & Water Prot. Plan.”

                                        Al Cossari

          Member of the Port Jefferson Erosion Commission

Rethinking grades: The return of the ‘Do No Harm’ policy

At the Three Village Board of Education meeting held on Oct. 9, President Susan Rosenzweig reopened a discussion concerning the district’s currently defunct “Do No Harm” Policy.

Last fall the board, in its less than infinite wisdom, made the decision to abolish this policy which had been in place for several years and stated that if a grade on a Regents exam would lower a student’s final grade it would not be counted as part of that grade. If the score enhanced the final grade, it would indeed count.

After the Grading Committee led by Brian Biscari, assistant superintendent for educational services, made a determination to rescind this option and count Regents grades as 10% of a student’s final grade, the board voted to instate the new policy. A large majority of parents were appalled by this decision and made their feelings known, but to no avail. Now, seemingly under the radar, this policy was brought to the forefront with no notice, at a board meeting with little-to-no attendance.

Rosenzweig introduced the discussion with the assertion that after the June 2024 Regents season it was necessary to reconsider the decision that was made last fall. Her point was such that several school districts of our caliber (Jericho and Syosset) do not count the exams in students’ GPAs and our students could be put at a disadvantage by doing so. The scores in Three Village had not moved when the “Do No Harm” option was available and since New York State does not recommend factoring their exams into a GPA, it is simply not necessary. Karen Roughley, vice president, was in strong support of Rosenzweig’s argument as other trustees remained as wishy-washy as expected: Vinny Vizzo refused to articulate a solid opinion, claiming to see both sides, and Shaorui Li repeated her ridiculous attestation that the board “should not override a decision made by a committee of 35 educators.”

Trustee David McKinnon, the voice of consistency and specificity, strongly supported keeping our students on par with other districts by allowing them the advantage of not being penalized by state exams that do not necessarily embody the proper assessment of children’s knowledge and skills. His strongest point was that the state doesn’t stand behind their own tests so why should Three Village students have their grades affected by them?

In the end, after Biscari restated his belief that Regents exams have “value” and are “important for data collection” and Scanlon reiterated that the state is not doing away with the tests — they are simply instituting new pathways to graduation — the board took a vote. In what seemed like a unanimous decision, the board voted to reinstate the “Do No Harm” Policy in regards to the New York State Regents Examinations.

It was not clear, but I would hope for the sake of our kids that “Do No Harm” will be in effect for the January 2025 Regents exams and that parents and students will be made aware of the policy’s restoration. Since this discussion was not part of the Oct. 9 meeting agenda it is highly unlikely that anyone who did not watch and/or take part in the meeting is cognizant that this change was made.

As an informed parent I encourage those with students who are enrolled in courses culminating in a Regents exam to pay attention to the changes that are apparently coming with no notification. Thankfully the unplanned discussion led to a positive development, one that can only help our children. Granted, it’s no 30-minute start time adjustment, but at least our kids will have some relief from Regents anxiety. If only last year’s final grades could be recalculated to undo any harm that may have been done.

    Stefanie Werner

   East Setauket

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SBU's Elizabeth Watson, second from right, and her team coring.

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

I used to liken the process to sitting on a highway divider where the speed limit was 70 miles per hour, holding a notebook and trying to read and record as many license plates as I could, sometimes in the pouring rain, under a bright sun, or in thick fog.

Working for a wire service, with its 24-hour news feed and its endless space for stories, was exhilarating and exhausting. My editors sometimes called me at 4 a.m. to tell me about an important story that was breaking and to encourage me to come into the office to get to work.

Oh, and every three months, when the companies I covered reported earnings, I’d arrive at work for at least a week around 7 in the morning, wait for the numbers to come out, and then spend the day reading the reports, talking with analysts and investors, getting on media conference calls with top executives and watching the stock price of the company rise and fall.

My job was to search through all that information to anticipate how people would react to piles of electronic news.

It was a great opportunity to write on deadline and to experience the absurd. One day, I helped write a few headlines and then had to use the bathroom. As I pushed the door open, my editor, following uncomfortably closely behind me, hovered.

“Can I help you?” I asked, as I stopped and turned around.

“Yeah, how long are you going to be in here?” he asked in his usual staccato, urgent tone.

“As long as it takes,” I shrugged.

“Yeah, well, there’s a headline out there and you need to send out the first version of the story within 15 minutes,” he reminded me, as if I didn’t know our rules.

“I know,” I said, “and I’m sure my system will comply with the requirements.”

Those were tough days at the office.

I’m sure everyone has difficult days at work, whether it’s a police officer dealing with someone who is in an altered, drug-induced state who may be a danger to himself or others, a teacher helping a high-stress student prepare for a standardized test, a truck driver taking a long detour around a crash site, or any of the many other possible strains or obstacles between the start of the day and the workload.

Recently, I spoke with several climate scientists who are a part of the Science on Stage free celebration at Stony Brook University’s Staller Center, which is coming up on October 28th at 4 p.m. (see related story in the Arts & Lifestyles section).

These scientists endure everything from creature discomforts, to resistance to the work they’re doing, to their own deadlines and the need to conduct their studies, publish their results and apply for funding.

Indeed, Elizabeth Watson, Associate Professor in the Department of Ecology & Evolution at Stony Brook University, shared several challenging moments.

“I’ve gotten stuck in the mud, covered with ticks, I’ve gotten Lyme, crawled across mudflats, pushed boats across mudflats, had to row our power boat back to the launch ramp more than once, [and] got forgotten about on a raft in a lagoon,” Watson wrote in an email.

Each of those challenges could have become the focal point of action for a biopic about a scientist.

Heather Lynch, Professor in the Department of Ecology & Evolution, explained that her research on penguins in Antarctica requires considerable advanced planning.

“The main challenge of working in Antarctica is really the uncertainty imposed by the weather and logistics,” she explained in an email. “It’s not enough to have Plan B, it’s more like Plan B through Plan F and then some. Covid and now avian flu have made an already difficult situation even harder.”

Still, at their most challenging moments, waiting for the weather to change, hoping someone will remember to pick them up, or living without creature comforts, these researchers find joy and derive satisfaction in doing valuable and constructive work.

“I’m like a bricklayer, adding more bricks to an enormous wall of knowledge that was started long before I started working on penguins and will continue to be built long after,” Lynch wrote.

Or, to put it another way, Watson wrote that “I love my job! No regrets.”

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METROCREATIVE CONNCETION

By Leah Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

My college class is hosting a forum on friendship and how to define it. During this time, when loneliness seems to be a problem for many, what role should friendship play, especially in our later years?

I read someplace, not too long ago, that most people claim to have five or six good friends, and that is ideal, according to the professionals who study this subject. It made me think about how many good friends I have, and whether I have the requisite number for a happy life.

What makes people become friends?

Perhaps friends play a different role in one’s life at different stages. I tried to remember the friends I had in my earliest years. There was Evelyn in Second Grade. What attracted me to her was her ability to draw. I was enamored with The Lone Ranger at that point, read as many books by Fran Striker (who I later learned was Frances, a woman author) as I could find, and I asked Evelyn to draw scenes from the books for me. I would give her some particulars, and she would follow up and make drawings on looseleaf sheets of paper that illustrated the vignettes I would describe to her. And she did so quickly, as I talked, which was amazing.

Why did she do that for me? She was terrible in arithmetic, and I would do her homework for her, probably as quickly as she could draw. So we had a mutual attraction as a result of our individual skills. Also she lived down the block from my family’s apartment, and we would walk home together from school. So convenience and mutual needs played a part in encouraging friendship.

It all ended, of course, when the teacher realized I was doing her homework. It was innocent enough. I never meant to abort her learning and hope she caught on to numbers and what one could do with them.

I went to an all-girls junior high school that only one other classmate entered, and she was put into a different section, so I had no friends immediately. But I was attracted to a small group who came from the other side of town and seemed to have a lot of fun with each other.

They were sophisticated. In particular, they would slip out of school 15 minutes before the end of the last class, run down the stairs of the subway outside the school building and ride to the Broadway Theater District, where they would arrive just as the plays would break for intermission.

When the audience members would then walk back in, they would, too, and carefully find empty seats. In that way, they saw the second act of some of the most famous musicals of the 1950s. I wanted desperately to be part of that group, and somehow they accepted me. They were my junior high friends, and I still think of them fondly.

So common interests make for friendships.

In high school and college, my friends were a couple of classmates that I most admired. They brought different ideas to class and had the courage to speak about the subjects in an original way. There were others, too, who were enjoyable companions throughout those early years, and with whom I kept up until we each went our separate ways after we married and moved from New York. But I kept in touch with those original two I most respected. So respect is another factor in deep friendships.

As we had children, our friends most often were the parents of their friends, which was convenient. And we had friends from work. But then, our children grew up, left the nest, and we were again on our own, with the time to rediscover old friends who were witnesses to our earlier years and to make new ones.

Witnesses and shared experiences now make for strong glue in friendship. And mutual admiration, loyalty and empathy for all that has happened and is happening to us as we age, are powerful bonds among friends.

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Stock photo

As discussed in the paper this week, the Oct. 7 service at the  North Shore Jewish Center in Port Jefferson Station served as a coming together of humans healing from an event which rocked a nation and the world, one year ago this month.

But, it is so incredibly crucial to note that it was a group of human-beings coming together — not people of any one religion, background or gender — but people of all walks of life, who gathered on that Sunday night to comfort one another, and lend a shoulder to anyone in need of comfort.

Despite the presence of a few politicians, the night was not one of politics, but of deep empathy for anyone who lost a dear one in Israel, or community members who know someone who has.

It was a beautiful reminder that despite the complexities of what is happening in the Middle East at this moment in time, we can still congregate as a united body, purely in support of humanity.

No hidden agendas. No hatred of anybody.

People were there to hold one another’s hand, and honor the memory of those they loved, and those they had never met.

At its core, religion is about peace, love and compassion, and that was precisely what occurred that night. People of a shared faith, came together in prayer to provide their neighbors with an hour of solace.

And, we can all use some solace in these horrific times.

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File photo by Raymond Janis

Notice: Suffolk County 5th District office relocating to East Setauket

Dear Constituents,

I am writing to inform Suffolk County’s Fifth Legislative District constituents thatmy office is moving from 306 Main Street in Port Jefferson to 36 Route 25A in East Setauket. Our first day at the new location will be Tuesday, Oct. 15.

Please feel free to visit our new location to discuss concerns or to share yourideas for improving our communities. My staff and I can also be reached by calling 631-854-1650 or emailing [email protected].

Please note that LD5 includes Belle Terre, East Setauket, Old Field, Poquott, PortJefferson, Port Jefferson Station, Setauket, Stony Brook, Stony Brook University, South Setauket, Terryville, and parts of Centereach, Coram and Mount Sinai.

We look forward to seeing you at our new office.

Steven Englebright

Suffolk County Legislator

District Office 5 

A call to support Frank Melville Memorial Park

To the Esteemed Residents of the Three Village Community,

I write to you today on behalf of the Frank Melville Memorial Park, a cherished haven of natural beauty and wildlife, which many of you have supported and enjoyed over the years. The park, as you know, stands as a testament to our collective commitment to preserving both the splendor of nature and a sense of peace for all visitors, human and animal alike.

However, it is with a sense of deep concern and urgency that we must address a troubling issue that has recently grown more acute: The repeated violations of our strict no-fishing policy, particularly by adults and teenagers who seem to regard this rule with a mix of indifference and defiance.

Despite clear signage and our tireless efforts to educate the public on the importance of this policy, we are witnessing an alarming frequency of insubordination. The rule against fishing is not arbitrary since it serves to protect the delicate ecosystems of the pond and surrounding habitat. Our policy reflects a profound respect for the intricate balance of wildlife that calls this park home — creatures whose survival is intimately tied to the careful stewardship of their environment. Yet, we have found our efforts met with flagrant disregard and, regrettably in some instances, with outright disrespect for the park’s mission.

These actions undermine the very fabric of what we strive to accomplish at Frank Melville Park: To maintain a sanctuary where humans and nature can coexist harmoniously. When individuals violate this fundamental policy, they not only endanger wildlife but also tarnish the atmosphere of safety and order that we work so diligently to preserve.

To address this growing concern, we are asking for your support. In order to uphold the park’s regulations and ensure a safe, respectful environment for all, we must increase our security presence. This step, while necessary, comes at a significant financial cost, one which we are unable to shoulder alone. We appeal to the broader Three Village community — those of you who value this park as much as we do — to assist us through donations, which will allow us to fund additional security measures and personnel.

Your contributions will directly support our ability to safeguard the park’s natural beauty and uphold the standards that we all hold dear. Together, we can ensure that Frank Melville Park remains a space of serenity and sanctuary, free from the disorder that threatens to erode the very essence of what makes it so special.

We trust that the community’s profound appreciation for this space will inspire a shared responsibility in preserving it. Let us act now, not only to protect the park from further harm but to honor the legacy we have inherited and ensure that it thrives for future generations.

Board of Directors 

Frank Melville Memorial Park

Setauket

Finding balance in Brookhaven’s development debate

I appreciated reading the letter to the editor in last week’s issue [“Brookhaven Town Board rejects suburbia”] from our neighbor, the Three Village Civic Association, regarding the recent approval by Brookhaven Town of the proposal by Staller Associates at Jefferson Plaza. Charles Tramontana and George Hoffman rightly point out the precedent-setting nature of the new CRD code the town used to approve a zoning change which will yield a density never seen before anywhere in Brookhaven. While I applaud the call for a review of a code many believe to be vague and without clear metrics as to how the density bonuses were set (and by whom), future revisions will leave Port Jeff Station/Terryville residents watching the barn door being closed after the horse has galloped away.

In our situation, we are now facing the reality of a face-changing project which can yield up to 280 apartments — nearly three times what any other multifamily development could yield. Additionally, the developer has the benefit of constructing 49,000 square feet of commercial space on this 10-acre parcel. 

Our organization has been clear and consistent for the past two years that we wanted to welcome the redevelopment of this long-neglected shopping center and are mindful of the need for attainable housing for our young people. So, our considerable efforts to identify concerns associated with this intensive proposal are intended to minimize negative impacts and not to oppose all change. 

However, we advocated many issues be addressed ahead of this zoning change which will surely change the character of our community. While some input was considered, the final product appears changed mostly around the margins. Presently, the density can be maxed out, there are still many areas with four-story buildings, first responder access and resources needs to be discussed, traffic concerns remain, as well as an architectural design providing true public spaces and sense of a place. 

Also, the price point of apartments starting at $2,200-$2,400 leaves us still figuring how to retain our young, and the public benefit many developers provide to address the impacts on a community is quite miniscule in comparison to the scope of this project. Most importantly, this large-scale development will occur without a full and comprehensive planning process to help our hamlet properly digest this growth-inducing facility along the entire Route 112 corridor.

I will note, at our request, Councilmember Jonathan Kornreich [D-Stony Brook] persuaded the town to take a look at traffic patterns which will be affected regionally — and not just site specific to Jefferson Plaza. Also, the councilmember has provided there will be a process for a visual preference survey that we suggested to guide and shape the architecture with community input. 

Kornreich has often tried to assure our area that many of our valid concerns can be addressed during the site plan review process, which will now begin. While I strongly believe our neighborhood would have been well served to have these issues ironed out in advance, I take him at his word and trust we will make a strong effort to partner with the town and hold them to that promise. It will take all our voices to shape the face of our future in a way which improves our community and I urge all my neighbors to help in this process.

Ira Costell, President 

Port Jefferson Station/Terryville Civic Associatio

A farewell to six years of growth and community

For the last six years, I have had the honor and privilege to serve as the Three Village Chamber of Commerce president. 

Together we have accomplished so many of the goals set at the beginning of my term. A complete overhaul of our monthly accounting has resulted in the chamber being in the best financial position in its almost 50-year history.

Our real accomplishments were never planned. The business community faced unprecedented challenges in March 2020. The worldwide pandemic brought initial chaos and confusion to the ever-changing governmental regulations of trying to keep the doors open for business. The Board of Directors led the charge to work with our elected officials and within a very short period of time, we were assisting our community’s businesses in these unchartered waters. This was a very difficult environment for everyone.

As a longtime board member, I can say with great confidence I am leaving the chamber in good hands as my term as president comes to an end

So many positive and rewarding activities have come to mind over the last six years. Giving to the annual George Rehn Scholarship to high school seniors as the first chamber president to graduate from Ward Melville High School — and certainly not the last. The West Meadow Beach barbecues of the past, the current golf outings and many holiday parties that brought our business community together will always be cherished. 

I want to thank my fellow board members and our executive director, Jane Taylor, for their commitment and continuous support, making this one of the best and most viable service organizations I have ever been part of.

The chamber leadership will continue to prosper under its new president, Carmine Inserra, and the current Board of Directors. I wish them well and I am here to always help to keep our business community vibrant and healthy.

I have personally enjoyed all the friendships and business networking contacts among our membership and I will look forward to my new role as president emeritus. I love this community and I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve through this wonderful organization.

I look forward to the continued success of the Three Village Chamber of Commerce.

Charles A. Lefkowitz

Three Village Chamber of Commerce

Editor’s note: The writer is chairman of the Suffolk County Water Authority.

 

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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

Back in the day when I covered Wall Street and spoke with power-broking bankers, mergers and acquisitions experts, and traders, I often chatted with people who had little to no time.

As often as I could, I’d catch someone in the midst of an exciting transaction. I pictured them standing at their desks, staring at papers, looking closely at the clock, and envisioning various life or community-altering transactions, such as multi-billion dollar mergers.

The information would be even better, of course, if other journalists hadn’t yet heard the news, giving me the chance to be first.

Some of my sources would share juicy tidbits, about a company, a strategic move, or a new hire. The cadence of their voice was often quick and clipped and the tone was close to a conspiratorial whisper, with the volume inversely proportional to the importance of the developing story.

They would often be eager to get off the phone so they could continue to rule the world, to collect multi-million dollar fees and to prepare to help other companies keep up with the fast-merging world by moving other pieces on the financial chess board.

A few seconds after sharing the final details, they would invariably use a two word signal that meant that the conversation, whether I liked it or not, was ending.

“Gotta hop!” they’d say. It was a universally understood code for, “I’m not hanging up on you, per se, but those are the last sounds you’ll hear from me on this call.”

During busy days on Wall Street, I’d picture investment bankers in expensive suits, hopping on one foot from building to building, keeping one leg in the air as they frantically finalized details and collected signatures.

Once they reached their destination, I imagined them putting the non-hopping leg down comfortably on the ground, while massaging the one that propelled them around the lower part of Manhattan.

Wall Street hasn’t cornered the market on signals that a conversation is coming to a close.

People in the Main Street world say they “gotta run.”

Sometimes, out of politeness, someone will indicate that he or she has another important call coming in that’s related to the topic at hand.

In more personal and familiar settings, my friends and family have various codes that suggest they are preparing to end a conversation.

An audible sigh is usually the equivalent of, “okay, let’s wrap things up here.”

Then, there’s the long, slow version of “alright,” which suggests that, fun as this conversation might have been, it’s time to end the call.

I appreciate the moment when people appear to want to be sensitive to me when they’re ready to disengage. That typically includes some version of, “I’m gonna let you get back to work or whatever it is you’re doing” when, more often than not, they have to return to something.

Of course, I have been on the other side of this disengagement effort, when someone who is on a long drive is not only eager for company but is also prepared to share, stream-of-consciousness style, everything they see and comment on the driving skills of everyone around them.

“What is that red car thinking?” they’ll ask. “Did you see that?”

“No, you see, the way the phone works, I can only hear your voice. I’m not looking through a body worn camera at the road ahead of you, but I’m sure the red car did something stupid and it’s great that you’re such a skilled defensive driver.”

I sometimes try to wrap up these calls with something like, “well, it’s been nice chatting with you.”

“Yes,” they’ll reply. “It’s nice chatting with you, too. So, what do you think of the presidential election?”

“Oh, um, I think it’s a good idea every four years or so. More often than that would become too hectic and stressful for the country.”

“No, I mean, what are your top 15 issues for the election this year.”

“I’d love to share them with you, but I have to hop and I want to give you a chance to get back to driving and someone is waiting to take a run with me, so, I’m gonna go.”

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By Leah S. Dunaief

Leah Dunaief,
Publisher

As I like to say to the owner of the dry cleaning shop I use, “I’m an enthusiastic eater.” I tell him that because I want to encourage him to look for spots on the clothes I am bringing him and remove them. He smiles, nods knowingly and returns my clothes spot free.

It would be nice if I could just as easily rub out those extra pounds I routinely put on. Ever since I was in my late 30s, my weight has been a yo-yo. Until then, I never thought much about what I tended to eat. I just enjoyed my food, and ate whatever appealed to me at the moment. 

As a mother and the family cook, I did try to make balanced meals: an animal protein, a starch and a vegetable at dinner, for example. That was what cooks were encouraged to provide by the Food and Drug Administration. There were even charts in doctors offices with pictures of recommended “balanced” meals that we saw and took to heart. That was dinner.

Lunch wasn’t so different. A sandwich, a piece of fruit, maybe a small bag of chips or a cookie populated my children’s lunch boxes. The sandwich could be spread with peanut butter and jelly, or perhaps, tuna fish or bologna. The fruit was usually an apple, and the dessert was a chocolate chip cookie or a couple of Oreos. 

My husband and our children didn’t have a weight problem, so why did I? And that was in spite of my being on the club tennis team and running errands for our family of five plus dog and station wagon every day. I was certainly getting exercise.

At this point, I should confess that I love pasta. I love it in any shape, with any kind of sauce, and I love a good piece of bread. I also like desserts, the sugary kind. Donuts are a favorite, preferably loaded with raspberry jelly and rolled in sugar. In fact, there probably isn’t a carb I don’t like. 

So clearly my problem was in making choices. Recognizing what I had to do, I would forsake all of the above for the better part of a year, lose the extra pounds, buy some new clothes and feel quite pleased with myself…until after a few years, none of the clothes fit and a full length mirror showed me that I was back to my former avoirdupois. That’s a fancy French word to disguise the unwanted pounds. 

And so the cycles went, until I got older and disgusted enough to resign myself just to being fat. I passed a good number of years that way.

But now, I will tell you, I have found the solution, and it’s not Ozempic. I don’t even like taking an aspirin, much less a strong medicine with scary side effects like these miracle weight-loss drugs that were actually created for other uses but apparently remove one’s appetite. 

Why would I want to do that when eating is so much fun?

I will reveal my current weight loss routine to you, and it’s incredibly simple. It came about this way. I was noticing that a couple of my children were putting on some pounds, nothing drastic but nonetheless visible additions to their otherwise sleek frames. Now they, too, are active and until recently had no major problems with weight. But as they age, it has caught up to them.

So during the last visit, when we were all together and happened to bemoan our extra pounds, my oldest son suggested what he termed a Sunday Weigh In. This could easily be done via a group text, thanks to modern technology. We would aim for a one pound loss each week, not particularly extreme, and in the process we would connect with each other on a guaranteed regular basis. How nice! We are six weeks in now, and amid lots of love and encouragement, it’s working.

Check with me next year.

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File photo by Raymond Janis

Brookhaven Town Board rejects suburbia

Last week the Brookhaven Town Board rang the death knell for suburbia by downzoning the sleepy Jefferson Plaza shopping center in Port Jefferson Station to allow the development of a mega city of unaffordable apartments and large multistory buildings. 

The proponents, mostly the building industry lobby and the developer, who will reap millions of dollars in increased rent, took advantage of an industry-promoted zoning classification called Commercial Redevelopment District which allows city-like density in underperforming shopping centers throughout Brookhaven.

The new code was a byproduct of the dark days of COVID-19 when many thought that local shopping centers wouldn’t survive the loss of customers who were staying at home because of the pandemic.

Unsurprisingly, most shopping centers have now rebounded, but the Town of Brookhaven has not rescinded the urban density code that was promoted by developers and builders over the objections from several community civic organizations.

A Queens-like development this size and scale will alter the suburban character of upper Port Jefferson Station and lead to the further urbanization of the communities throughout the town.

Because of the Staller Center rezone, lawyers representing other shopping center owners have already made inquiries to the Brookhaven Town Board about rezoning their clients shopping centers to CRD as well.

It’s time for the Town Board to take a hard look at the CRD zoning code, realize how it will radically change the character of most communities throughout the town and build into it protections that would limit the size and scale of future redevelopment of shopping centers — and make it less destructive to the suburban character of communities we cherish.

Charles Tramontana, President, George Hoffman, Trustee

Three Village Civic Association

A timeline: Careful money management yields results

In 2011, Suffolk County announced a $500 million deficit. And in that same year, 2011, Sarah Anker (D-Mount Sinai) was elected to the Suffolk County Legislature and she asked to be assigned to work with the fiscal committee. To our benefit, Sarah insisted that with careful planning and foresight, Suffolk County could trim the budget and tighten spending while offering the same services and assistance to residents. For 12 years, Sarah pushed this version of fiscal responsibility, then she was term-limited out of the Legislature. 

The outcome of Sarah’s effort was everything we could have hoped for. In 2023, the Suffolk County Legislature announced that the $500 million deficit was eliminated and that the county’s bond rating had moved strongly upward. Before she left the Legislature, Sarah Anker brought stability to Suffolk County finances. 

I am grateful that Sarah Anker puts People Over Politics. Sarah Anker has my vote for NYS Senate.

Judy Black

Shoreham

Rebecca Kassay: A force for good, leading with heart and purpose

Rebecca Kassay (D-Port Jefferson) is someone I’ve had the privilege of knowing and watching blossom into a true leader over the years. From the moment I met her, I could tell she had a deep passion for both her community and the environment. It has been remarkable to see how she’s transformed that passion into tangible, meaningful action. Watching her grow, both as a small business owner and as a community leader, has been an incredibly personal inspiration to me.

One of the things that has always stood out to me about Rebecca is her dedication to environmental governance. After graduating from SUNY New Paltz with a degree in Environmental Studies, she returned to Long Island and dove right into environmental work. I remember how she launched a youth environmental volunteer program at Avalon Park and Preserve. I watched her work tirelessly with local teens, teaching them to care for and protect our natural environment. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and she wasn’t just teaching them about the environment — she was inspiring a sense of responsibility and love for the land. Seeing her in action made me realize that this wasn’t just a job for her — it was a calling.

Rebecca’s entrepreneurial journey is just as impressive. In 2013, she and her husband Andrew purchased a fixer-upper in Port Jefferson and transformed it into The Fox and Owl Inn, a bed-and-breakfast that quickly became a cornerstone of the community. I saw firsthand how much effort and care they put into the business. But more than that, I saw how deeply Rebecca became involved in the local business community. Through her work with both the Port Jefferson Rotary Club and Chamber of Commerce, she’s been a driving force in helping local businesses thrive. I’ve had many conversations with her about how to build a sustainable local economy, and her commitment to balancing economic growth with environmental responsibility is something I deeply admire.

When the pandemic hit, Rebecca’s leadership took on new meaning. She quickly organized the Long Island Open Source Medical Supplies initiative, rallying volunteers to produce PPE for frontline workers. It was a shining example of her ability to mobilize people for the greater good. In a time of crisis, Rebecca brought hope and unity to the community.

Watching Rebecca grow has been an inspiring journey for me. She leads with her heart and never loses sight of her values, making her a true force for good.

Indu Kaur

Port Jefferson Station

Transparency needed: Voters deserve answers from Assemblyman Flood

As a resident of Setauket I was distressed to hear that my Assemblyman Ed Flood (R-Port Jefferson) was disbarred last week.

As a lawyer I am concerned that Assemblyman Flood did not even bother to respond to the complaint against him even though he was charged that he “engaged in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation with regard to both clients” and the courts. To merit disbarment, as opposed to censure or suspension, the alleged conduct must have been very serious.

As a voter I believe I am entitled to know what he was accused of.

Assemblyman Flood should make a full disclosure of what occurred. The voters deserve to know.

Chris Murray

Setauket

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Pixabay photo

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

My Aunt Maxine had Down syndrome, which means she was mentally disabled.

In so many ways, Maxine and her life defied expectations and labels.

When Maxine was born, doctors told my grandparents that she wouldn’t likely live long, so they should consider putting her in an institution.

My grandparents couldn’t imagine being away from their daughter. They took Maxine home to the Upper East Side of Manhattan, where they raised and educated her.

As she grew up, Maxine was on the shorter side, at under five feet tall, and carried the youthful, round face of Down syndrome throughout her life.

She also had facial hair that my grandmother, mother and caregivers regularly trimmed.

My aunt lacked any self-consciousness about who she was, what she was, and how she related to the world. She figured everyone was as ready to love her and interact with her as she was with them.

More often than not, she smiled, offering an energetic and enthusiastic nod whenever anyone made eye contact. Plenty of people avoided looking at her in part because she was different and, in part, because she lived in New York and the rules of sidewalk engagement limited eye contact.

When people didn’t notice or engage with her, she kept walking, singing, talking to herself, chatting with her parents or the rest of us, or whistling, which she could do by inhaling and exhaling.

She lived at a higher decibel level. Her whisper was even louder than her normal speaking voice.

“What?” she’d whisper so loudly that it could be heard in the back row of a movie theater. “You want me to be quiet? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Yes, shhhh.”

“Don’t shush me!” she’d say, her husky whisper, like her husky voice, becoming louder and indignant.

“Sorry, Macky,” I’d say. “People are trying to watch the movie. Can you watch it, too?”

“Oh, yes, yes, yes,” she’d say, nodding vigorously. “I’ll be quiet. I will. I’ll be quiet. If that’s what you want, I can be quiet. Sure, suuuuure!”

She was spectacularly funny and knew introductions were an opportunity for comedy.

“Who is this young lady?” she’d ask anyone who walked in the door in our house. The person could be anywhere from six to 96 and she’d ask the same thing.

“How old are you?” she’d ask.

No matter the answer, she’d suggest the person was a “lovely” young lady.

“What’s your name?” she’d ask.

When the person said her name, she’d say “what” several times and then ask the person to spell it. When she slowed our guest down repeatedly and asked her to say it again, the guest would shout.

“Hey, what are you yelling for? I can hear you. Not so loud. You’re hurting my ears.”

She’d squint and a smile would fill her face as she’d scan the room, knowing the old routine had hit the mark.

More than anything else, though, Maxine was compassionate, emotionally connected, loving and supportive.

She would sing the Star Spangled Banner when she listened to Robert Merrill on the radio before a Yankees game.

“It’s so beautiful,” she’d say, as she blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

I suspect many other Americans have an aunt, sibling, distant relative, friend or neighbor for whom labels mean even less than the totality of their lives, the winsome nature of their personality, and the triumphs that define their days.

Hearing anyone use the term “disabled” as a take down misses the point, particularly for those who seek to be the country’s leader.

Maxine required but also taught a level of patience. In exchange, our family and friends appreciated her joy of life and basked in her unconditioned positive regard. She wouldn’t have resented or hated others, wouldn’t have insulted individuals or a group and would have forgiven anyone who made a mistake.

Perhaps some day, those who use words like “mental disability” as a way to dismiss others or to cast others aside will think of the Maxines of the world. We can learn so much from others whose lives are different from ours and who aren’t trying to use words to project an image, to cut others down, or to suggest that someone is limited.

I can picture Maxine sitting in a chair next to me, tilting her head and looking at me from the side.

“You’re such a silly goose,” she’d laugh.

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