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Myra Naseem

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Myra Naseem, second from left, with her daughter Kaneez, left, granddaughter Giselle, second from right, and daughter Lyla. Photo from Lyla Gleason

As co-founder and co-owner of Elegant Eating in Smithtown, Myra Naseem is accustomed to special occasions. At the end of October, instead of being on the planning end of a party, it was her turn to be honored as friends and family celebrated her 80th birthday.

Myra Naseem at her 80th birthday party. Photo from Lyla Gleason

Naseem, who goes all out to decorate the interior of her house every year for Halloween, commemorated her milestone one night with family and friends at her home with a costume party. The next day she, her two daughters Lyla and Kaneez, granddaughter Giselle and female friends enjoyed a tea party at the Smithtown Historical Society’s Frank Brush Barn.

The historical society’s executive director Priya Kapoor is a friend of the octogenarian and was on hand for the festivities. She looks up to Naseem, she said, and described her as a mentor.

“She is my biggest cheerleader who supports me no matter what,” Kapoor said. “She is my person no matter where we are. I feel home when I am around her.”

Naseem’s daughter Lyla Gleason said she, her sister and daughter read 80 things about their mother they loved at the tea party. She said they were touched as many of her mother’s friends, impromptu, stood up and added to the list of things they appreciated about Naseem.

Gleason remembers when her grandmother turned 80 years and was already retired and living in Florida. At the time, she thought 80 was old, but looking at her mother, she doesn’t feel the same way. 

“She’s still in the prime of her life,” Gleason said.

With the pandemic’s negative effects on businesses, Naseem could have retired from her off-site catering business. She admitted she enjoyed some downtime during the shutdowns. However, she continues to run the business with partner Neil Schumer. She also attends events to ensure everything is set up to meet a client’s expectations.

Myra Naseem is the proud mother and grandmother of daughters Kaneez, back row, Lyla, left, and granddaughter Giselle, center. Photo from Lyla Gleaon

Naseem credited her successful partnership with Schumer to always coming to a solution even though they sometimes disagree on the best approach. He is like family to her. For Schumer, the feeling is mutual.

“After 40 years we are best friends, we are family,” he said. “We have a bond that can’t be broken. With Myra, her heart is to make everyone happy. She always says the positive. I couldn’t ask for a better partner, better friend, better family.”

Kaneez Naseem said she admires that her mother continues working and attending social events outside of her job.

“I’m glad that she’s where she is in life right now,” she said.

Kaneez Naseem recognized her mother could have fully retired when the pandemic hit, but she said it’s hard to imagine her not working. The daughter added she loves when people tell her how much they enjoyed the parties her mother has catered.

“She puts such care into every party as if it was for me or Lyla,” Kaneez Naseem said. “She’ll always want to make it like home and perfect.”

Myra Naseem said when she was younger, she had no idea that people would hire someone to cook for a party.

“I didn’t even know there was an industry called catering,” she said. “It was just a fluke.” 

The former home economics teacher and Schumer started the business in her Smithtown home. The venture started after Naseem prepared a few menu items for her older daughter Lyla’s bat mitzvah. The caterer she used, who Schumer worked for, asked her to work for them. She did for a while, and when it was Kaneez’s turn to have her bat mitzvah, the business owner couldn’t have it at his place, so Myra Naseem catered it herself.

People from her temple started asking her to cater their parties, she said. Naseem began catering on a regular basis while still teaching for the first six years she ran the business.

“I liked it right from the beginning,” she said. “I think it’s very intuitive. It was almost like a very easy segue. Whether you’re running a classroom or you’re running a party, everybody gets a task and everybody’s doing their thing.”

In 1987, after her youngest graduated from Hauppauge High School, Naseem and Schumer opened their first storefront in Stony Brook, and the business officially became Elegant Eating Ltd. As the business grew, they moved to its current location on the Smithtown Bypass.

With both girls away at college, she said it was easier to juggle teaching and catering. By the time she retired from teaching in the 1990s, she had already been working in the New York State education system for 30 years, with 24 of those years being spent in the Central Islip school district.

A graduate of SUNY Oneonta and New York University, where she obtained her master’s, Naseem said she grew up during a time when young women were made to feel they could only become a secretary, nurse or teacher.

Myra Naseem with Elegant Eating partner Neil Schumer. Photo from Lyla Gleason

“I think that today the young girls have a very different footing,” she said, adding the best advice for the younger generation is to remember you have to start at the bottom and work your way up.

“You need to see the foundation before you can be at the top of it,” she said.

Naseem’s parents were business owners, too. Born and raised on Long Island, her family moved to Patchogue when she was 5. Her parents owned a dress store in the village and decided to sell it and moved to Smithtown when she was 18. They opened a new dress store on Main Street, where Horizons Counseling and Education Center is located today. When her brother died at the age of 25 after an automobile accident, her mother wanted to leave New York, and her parents moved to Florida. At the time, Naseem was divorcing her husband, and with her daughters only 2 and 3 years old, she moved into her parents’ Smithtown home.

Kaneez Naseem said growing up, she didn’t realize what a positive role model her mother was.

“I don’t know that I appreciated it as a child, but I certainly do now, when I look at her and the way she lived her life,” she said.

The daughter said she realized how courageous her mother was to divorce when she was so young. She said if her mother ever struggled, she never showed it.

“It was us three girls,” Kaneez Naseem said. “It was me, Mommy and Lyla. That was normal to me.”

Gleason agreed, and as she looks back, she too has a deeper appreciation for all her mother did and achieved. When she was younger, she said, she thought what her mother did was normal, but over the years she has come to realize she made some bold moves.

She described her mother as a pioneer who was liberated and empowered.

“Women weren’t supposed to be empowered in those days,” she said. “It was unusual to see a woman take charge and start a career and do all these things without a husband.” 

Gleason added her mother taught her daughters that a woman could do things in life with the support of family and friends and didn’t necessarily have to have a romantic partner. She said it has made her and her sister the independent women they are today, and Gleason is now teaching her daughter the same.

“Your life is not all about being in a marriage or partnership,” she said. “Your friends and family can be just as important and supportive as a traditional husband.”

Looking back at life, Myra Naseem said while there were tough times both personal and in her career, she said it was important to stay positive and always realize how fortunate she is. She compares herself to the Weeble toys that are built to wobble but not fall down.

“I always come right side up no matter what happens to me,” she said. “Whether I have a terrible experience or something gets broken or I’m sick or I have to make a big decision and maybe don’t make the best decision, I always come up straight. I always come up headfirst.”

In the heart of Smithtown is a 22-acre pastoral oasis bordered by barns and cottages. The Smithtown Historical Society hosts a diversified array of events. Programs include an annual heritage fair, summer camp for children, old-time baseball, goat yoga, technology help for seniors, and most recently, a cooking series.

On Tuesday, August 16, at 6 p.m, Chef Stephen Gallagher of The Trattoria in St. James will perform some Long Island summer harvest magic as attendees will get to experience a taste, tips, and techniques, This program will be veggie-centric and the final program of the Cooking with the Stars series in 2022.

“I underestimated the power of food and how it brings people together,” said Priya Kapoor, Executive Director of SHS.  “We were pleasantly surprised by the success of Cooking with the Stars.”

During the height of the COVID pandemic, most 501-C non-profit organizations were faced with fundraising challenges.  A pivot to the great outdoors was made. “The Smithtown Performing Arts Center constructed our outdoor theater during the pandemic for rehearsals and performances. Once they could resume indoors, the outdoor theater became available for use by others,” explained Kapoor.

Kapoor and local food writer, Nancy Vallarella entertained hosting cooking classes at the Smithtown Historical Society years before the pandemic.  Vallarella explained, “We weren’t sure who, what, or when, but once the outdoor theater became available, we had a special where.  Cooking with the Stars was born and the rest fell into place.”

The series was launched in June 2022, and features local culinary businesses and accomplished cooks.

First up, Myra Naseem (Elegant Eating) and Nancy Vallarella (Long Island Locavore) demonstrated Board and Platter recipes and techniques. Chefs Marco Pellegrini and Sabrina Vallorini (Osteria Umbria) followed in July with Italian favorites. A special program in late July honored Smithtown Town Historian, Brad Harris.  Town Supervisor Ed Wehrheim and his wife Diana demonstrated a favorite family tradition, Mussels in White Wine sauce, in his honor.

The Smithtown Historical Society pays tribute to Long Island’s rich history while creating new traditions for the present community.

Tickets for Chef Gallagher’s presentation of Cooking with the Stars at the Smithtown Historical Society, 239 East Main Street, Smithtown are $25 in advance here, $35 at the door (cash or check). For more information, call 631-265-6768.

From left, Nancy Vallarella, Myra Naseem and Priya Kapoor. Photo from SHS

The Smithtown Historical Society is cooking up something new. 

Beginning on June 9, the Society will launch a new cooking series titled Cooking with Stars featuring local culinary professionals sharing their tips, techniques and skills while presenting trending foods, recipes and offering a taste to bring the community together. 

The cooking classes will be held outside on the property’s outdoor theater (in the case of inclement weather, presentations will be moved indoors in SHS’s Roseneath Cottage) and will run through September.

According to Priya Kapoor, Executive Director of SHS, the series was inspired by the Society’s 2021 series, Interview with the Stars. “One of our most popular interviews was with Chef Marco Pellegrini of Osteria Umbra,” said Kapoor.

Just in time for summer entertaining, the first presentation on Thursday, June 9 from 6 to 8:30 p.m. will be on platters and boards. Myra Naseem, co-owner of Elegant Eating in Smithtown, will be joined by recipe developer and food writer Nancy Vallarella, Long Island Locavore. 

“Outdoor entertaining is here. This presentation will cover three themed boards/platters that will require little to no cooking freeing hosts from the kitchen and grill. Elegant Eating has been doing that for over 35 years,” said Vallarella. 

Tickets are $20 per person in advance at Eventbrite.com, $30 at the door (cash or check).

The series continues on Tuesday, July 12 when Chef Marco Pellegrini returns to SHS to share his cooking techniques showcasing Italian favorites. 

Further cooking classes will be posted on the Smithtown Historical Society’s website, www.smithtownhistorical.org, under Events. 

The Smithtown Historical Society is located at 239 E. Main St., Smithtown. For more information, call 631-265-6768.

The writer with her daughter Giselle and mother Myra Naseem during a recent vacation to Disney World. Photo from Lyla Gleason

By Lyla Gleason

I’m turning into my mom, and that’s a good thing.

With nearly a decade of motherhood under my belt, it still surprises me that I sometimes feel like a newbie. I mean, motherhood is a large part instinct, a bit of luck and a whole lot of on-the-job experience, but without employer feedback and promotions, it can be tough to know how you’re doing. Raising a small human is definitely challenging, but luckily for me, I have the support of friends and family who cheer me on at every turn.

Now that the terrible toddler years have long passed, and the dramatic tween time is upon me, I find myself thinking more and more about my school years, and I’m seeing my mom in a new light. How did she manage two kids when I am exhausted with just one? How could she pack our lunches every day without the slightest hint of annoyance? How could she cook every night? Every night! OMG!

I’m sure this is true of every generation, but I’ve developed a newfound appreciation for my mom, Myra Naseem, and all that she managed to juggle as I was growing up. As a single mom raising two girls in the 1970s and ʼ80s, the odds were definitely stacked against her, but I had no idea. Our lives were full of kid-focused activities and outings, baked treats and visits with friends and family near and far.

When my mom tired of her home economics teaching job and decided to start her own catering business out of our kitchen, my sister, Kaneez, and I got to watch her leadership skills develop right before our eyes. She treated her employees as family and spent so much time explaining the right way to do things, just as she had with us. She was still teaching, explaining to “hold it from the bottom,” but in a mom-boss way.

As my sister and I headed off to college, my mother’s catering business Elegant Eating moved into a Stony Brook storefront, and my mom and her business partner Neil were well on their way to becoming known throughout Suffolk County. Business flourished, parties grew larger, and they moved into a bigger space with room for cooking classes and luncheons in Smithtown. Elegant Eating has catered hundreds of parties for the local community, celebrities and politicians, and they have managed to remain on top of the trends in this challenging business.

Over the past thirty years, I’ve watched my mom successfully raise her business and enjoy her newest job as Mama Myra, grandmother to Giselle. I am happy for her accomplishments, but best of all, I’m happy that I can now appreciate all her mom-boss tools that I’ve inherited.

I may not see the physical resemblance everyone else notices, but I do see our similarities more and more, and I’m cool with that. My mom’s patience, flexibility, understanding, ability to put others first and determination have helped me become the person I am today, and hopefully, I’ll be able to pass these qualities along to my daughter.

Lyla Gleason is the founder of the blog Globetrotting Mommy.

The Smithtown Historical Society will host its first Victorian Tea Party on Sunday, April 14. Photo from Smithtown Historical Society

By Melissa Arnold

Whether it’s a holiday celebration or a football party, a rite of passage or a family outing, there’s something about food and drink that brings people together. In families, shared meals can be the perfect setting for passing down traditions, memories and personal history.

Cienna Rizza knows this intimately. A self-described “dyed-in-the-wool Long Islander,” some of Rizza’s fondest memories involve sharing tea with her mother and British grandmother. 

Rizza valued those experiences so much that she began to share them, hosting tea parties for friends that eventually grew to include their friends and even strangers. Armed with a deep knowledge of tea party symbolism and rituals, she created the Mad Harlot Tea Society, an organization seeking to empower and connect people from all walks of life. Taking on the persona of Miss Penelope Proper — a whimsical, rabble-rousing British authority on all things tea — she has shared her message of joyful, unapologetic confidence with women of all ages.

“Penelope is a free spirit, a leader for women who want to get out of the box. Although she is a character, she brings out the best in people and is still very ‘me,’” Rizza said. “While every tea party is a bit different, you can always expect a warm, loving atmosphere.”

On April 14, the Smithtown Historical Society will welcome Miss Penelope as she hosts a Victorian-style royal tea for ladies in the beautiful Frank Brush Barn. Proceeds from the afternoon will benefit the historical society.

“The Smithtown Historical Society works to preserve the historic properties in our town, and we seek to expand and improve upon programs for both adults and children,” said Executive Director Priya Kapoor. “All these activities require funding, and we have been fortunate enough to have the support of our wonderful friends and neighbors in Smithtown.”

The historical society holds a variety of fundraising events throughout the year, but this is its first tea party, Kapoor said. The idea was suggested by Myra Naseem, co-owner of Elegant Eating caterers in Smithtown.

“As a Smithtown resident since 1960, I feel that it is my town and I want to help it to be the best it can be. In the past, we’ve catered tea parties for bridal and baby showers and occasionally a Red Hat party — occasions when someone is looking for a dainty experience,” said Naseem. “I met Penelope Proper some time ago at a tea party where she was seated at our table. You can’t just sit next to that lady without totally enjoying her character.”

Naseem and Miss Penelope have carefully crafted the menu for tea time, which includes traditional fare — fresh-baked scones, tea sandwiches, berries and clotted cream, minicakes, tarts and more. Each guest will have her own individual teapot with a variety of teas to sample and enjoy, along with sparkling water or cider.

Miss Penelope loves revelry, so she’ll lead the group in some games and raffles throughout the afternoon, as well as the opportunity for pictures on the grounds. In addition to the food and frivolity, guests will be treated to a brief lesson on the history of tea and tea parties on Long Island, which grew in popularity following World War I. 

The Royal Victorian Tea fundraiser will be held at the Smithtown Historical Society’s Frank Brush Barn, 211 E. Main St., Smithtown on April 14 at 1:30 p.m. Please note, this event is limited to 30 people and is for women only.  Hats, gloves and costumes are encouraged (though not required) and prizes will be awarded for the fanciest hat and most historic costume. Tickets are $50. To reserve your seat or for further information, please call the society at 631-265-6768.

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Double double toil — but it’s no trouble decorating for Halloween for a Smithtown resident whose creativity knows no bounds.

Myra Naseem, owner of Elegant Eating, brings a fun and almost whimsical spirit of the holiday alive in her Smithtown home. She handcrafts dolls into witches holding pumpkins and brews, their clothes made from scraps of antique cloth and drapes. Spiders are set out to guard potion vials marked with  titles including “Graveyard Dust” and “Moth’s Delight” throughout the various rooms of her house.

The decorations create a spooky atmosphere that showcases  Naseem’s talent, both in the kitchen and out, while providing a one-of-a-kind atmosphere for catering events.