By Daniel Dunaief
Want a social ice breaker with even the most reluctant neighbor? Get a dog!
People share quite a bit about themselves when they’re reaching down to pet a pooch who stares them in the eyes, wags his tail and appreciates their attention.
Thoughts, ideas, and pieces of themselves come pouring out in a range of categories.
Shaggy dog tales: Friends, neighbors and strangers in a park often offer vignettes about their own dogs. They talk about how much they enjoy having them in the house, how their beloved pets are eating the furniture, and how delighted they are to return to the house to find creatures who, unlike their teenage children, are genuinely happy to see them.
Would that they could: Even as they pet my eager dog, they sometimes share wistful thoughts about how they’d like to have their own dog. They travel too much, can’t get up early enough or have friends and family members who are allergic. Some are still in mourning for their late canine friends and can’t imagine getting another one.
Dog whisperers: Then, there are those people who know what your dog is feeling and thinking far better than you, despite the fact that you have lived with your dog for years? They direct their not so-subtle observations to the dog. “Oh, you adorable puppy, you look so hot. Are you hot? Do you need water? Do you need a bath? Do you need a better owner than this eavesdropping oaf at the other end of your leash?” Or, perhaps, “Are you walking too far for your short legs? Do you wish your owner would get more of his exercise at the gym and less of it taking you for these marathon walks?” “Are you hungry? Do you need a snack? Is your mean old owner trying to lose weight himself so he’s not feeding you enough?” Sometimes, of course, those people are right and my dog is hot, tired, or hungry. Then again, he’s a dog attached to a stomach, so he’s always hungry.
Feel free to unload while my dog does the same: While my dog relieves himself, people share considerable information about their lives. One woman told me, in eerie overtones with the show “Dear Evan Hansen,” how she and her ex-husband felt the need to intervene with a daughter battling mental health issues. Fortunately, the daughter and her parents are doing well.
The keep away owners: Some dog owners use their dog or dogs as shields, walking them at rapid paces on tight leashes, making it clear that they, and their dogs, have no interest in catching up. They are out getting some air or exercise and they have no need to give their dogs a chance to sniff each other, or to compare thoughts on anything from the weather to the best way to get rid of that not-so-fresh dog smell.
The couple competition: Even as dogs have non verbal cues as they approach each other, so, too, do humans. Some couples, who are walking next to each other, break apart, as one person is eager to be the first to pet the dog. Like Groucho Marx, my dog is more interested in joining the clubs that might not want him as much, and maneuvers around the extended hand to try to win over the more reluctant walker. The eager petter will whine, “what about me?” My dog either ignores him or gives that person the dog equivalent of an exasperated eye roll.
The dog watchers: Yes, I know it sounds conspiratorial, but they do exist. People sometimes sit in their homes, watching carefully to see if a dog leaves an unattended, unwanted dropping on their lawn. Eager to catch their neighbors in the act, they have cameras at the ready to document the offending moment.
The fact collectors: Some people seem more interested in learning details about my dog than they do in hearing about me. They ask me to remind them how old he is — one day older than when you asked yesterday — how much he weighs, where I got him, how he sleeps, and what games he likes to play. With them, it might be better to skip the “How are you doing?” and go straight to “How’s your dog’s day going?”
