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Superman

Courtesy of DC Comics

By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

How come we never see superheroes in regular moments? To that end, I wanted to share a host of images that I hope might brighten your day (if you need it).

Superman picking his nose. Okay, let’s just get this one out of the way first. Sure, he leaps tall buildings in a single bound, fights crime everywhere, and stands for truth, justice and the American way, but what about the urge to clean out the dried super boogers in his nose? And, if he did, what would happen to them? Would they decay the way ours presumably do, or would they be like rocks trickling through our plumbing or remaining forever on the floor, impenetrable even to a speeding bullet?

Okay, backing off from the incredibly crude, let’s go to Superman’s fingernails. I’m guessing he can’t clip them with an average clipper. When he does trim then, are they so strong that it’d hurt to step on them?

How about Batman? Is there room in that suit for hiccups? What happens when he’s driving his super fast car or flying bat mobile and he gets the hiccups? I know my hiccups, which are loud enough to cause Superman’s super fingernails to bend, are so distracting that it’d be tough to fight crime, or even navigate at incredible speeds, when my diaphragm is spasming.

And then there’s Wonder Woman. Lynda Carter, if you’re old enough, and Gal Gadot, for the more modern fan, are both incredible fighters who save the day, rescuing mere mortals like Steve Trevor. But do they have the kind of arguments with their mothers that I’ve seen other women (no one in my family, of course) have with their mothers? Are they tempted to take out their truth lasso and demand that their mother say what she really thinks or share what she really did? Can you imagine Wonder Woman in a shouting match with her mother, reaching a point where she wraps the rope around her mom’s wrist and demands to know, “What do you really think of my new boyfriend” or even “you mean to tell me you never acted out against your own parents?”

How about Aquaman? Not to be too obsessed about the nose here, but does he ever get water up his nose, the way the rest of us do when we’re diving or doing awkward flips into the pool? Given the speed at which he swims, I would imagine such water in his nose might cause even more agony for him than it does for the rest of us, who find the dense medium of water difficult to traverse rapidly.

What about the Flash?

I haven’t seen the recent multiverse movie with him, but I would imagine his shoes, which withstand the incredible force of him tearing around town, are a vital piece of equipment that could be enormously problematic if they tear or have holes.And, unlike me, as I sit here with the tongue of my right sneaker hanging off, I would imagine he couldn’t wait any length of time to replace the shoes that glide over the ground at speeds that, if my interpretation of the recent movie trailers suggest, exceed the speed of light and can, to borrow from the singing superhero Cher, “turn back time.”

Sorry if you’ve now got that song ricocheting around your head. Come up with a better song and you’ll be fine or maybe just count backwards from 20 in French or any foreign language, if you know how to do that.

And what about Spider-Man? Does he ever eat something that totally disagrees with his system, making it impossible to leave the house until he’s taken a super dose of an antacid? Sure, super heroes inspire us with their incredible deeds, but I’d like to know how they manage through the kinds of everyday issues, challenges, and regular stuff in our lives.

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This year’s superhero summer reading theme has elementary to high school students frequenting libraries. Photo by Giselle Barkley

Summertime usually means barbeques, sunbathing, sleeping in and packing in as much fun as possible before the beginning of another academic year. But one thing is missing from that list — reading — and it’s at the top of the list for youth departments in local libraries that encourage kids to pig out on books before going back to school in the fall.

And what better way to encourage kids to read than with superheroes? Local Long Island libraries’ summer reading lists for kids and young adults bring superheroes to the foreground with their series of hero-related books for elementary school to high school children.

Brian Debus, head of the Children’s Department at Emma S. Clark Memorial Library in Setauket, said the younger kids favored these graphic novel superhero books the most. Of the nearly 70,000 books in the Children’s Department, the aisles for these books and books for beginner readers are nearly barren, according to Debus.

“By the middle of the summer at least all of them have been checked out at least once,” Debus said. Children receive weekly prizes after reading the books they log out. Although the theme is superheroes, kids can log  out other books as well. According to Debus, from June 22 to July 10, children had logged out 3,674 books.

Fantasy books aren’t only flying off the shelves at Emma Clark Memorial Library. According to Katherine “Kathy” Kalin, department head of Young Adult Services at North Shore Public Library, science fiction and fantasy books are a hit among elementary, middle and high school youths.

The library’s Battle of the Books program is one of its summer reading programs for sixth- to eighth-grade students. But ninth- to 12th-grade students who aged out of this program can still keep up with their summer reading in the Battle Bistro summer reading program at the North Shore Public Library.

Battle Bistro participants read three books: “Half Brother” by Kenneth Oppel, “The Kiss of Deception” by Mary E. Pearson and “The Rules of Survival” by Nancy Werlin. According to Kalin, who has read all the books for both reading programs, teens across Long Island and the country can also register for an online reading club, Unmask!, which allows them to “unmask the superhero in you.”

Unmask! club members are not limited to stories about Superman swooping in to save the day, as the hero in their story can be as simple as a strong female character.

“It’s things that kids can relate to in their lives.” Kalin said. Teens in this reading club must answer a question to show they read the book. According to Kalin, this year the question encourages kids to delve into the storyline and examine if they could relate the book to an experience in their lives.

Teens can register for this club and track their reading progress and receive a prize for every two hours of reading.

Huntington Public Library also rewards its reading club participants. Laura Giuliani, department head of Youth and Parent Services, said more students are using suggested reading lists provided by their schools.

Picture books are popular among preschoolers. “Wonder” by R. J. Palacio and “Thirteen Reasons Why” by Jay Asher are popular with teens and deal with ideas of self-acceptance and suicide, respectively.

While Giuliani doesn’t know why these two books are a hit among teens, she said it’s possible the kids reading these books can relate to the storyline in some way. But regardless of the genre of book or the types of prizes, these libraries want one thing: to encourage kids and adults alike to keep reading and avoid the summer slide.

“It maintains their reading skills throughout the summer so that they [don’t] … lose those skills that they learned,” Kalin said.

Giuliani agreed saying, “If kids don’t get any reading in, they kind of fall out of the loop. It keeps the reading comprehension … and vocabulary [up].”

Most importantly, reading is just a simple fun and relaxing way to get lost in a different reality before preparing for another school year.