Opinion

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When I was a small child and had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would put the light on and one of the first things I would see were two sets of false teeth sitting in small glasses of water on the shelf above the sink. The teeth belonged to my mother and father, and I knew they took them out of their mouths before they went to bed and replaced them in the morning. So routine was this occurrence to me that I spent many minutes at a time searching my mouth with my fingers for the lever that would allow me to remove my teeth.

Finally I asked my parents, who clued me in to the eventual failings of teeth. I was, after all, the child of two sets of ancestors who had faulty choppers. Again, I just accepted this as the natural course of my life. One day I thought I would be toothless, too, except for a few lucky strays that remained in mouth.

Fast-forward more than half a century, and I still have almost all of my teeth. How did that enormous change come about? Dentistry is an area of health delivery that doesn’t get its proper due for the enormous advances from which we have benefited. The single best development that has preserved my teeth and those of the many millions of people around the world is the root canal procedure.

Now getting a root canal is a least favorite activity and deservedly so. But the journalist in me wants to tell the other side of the story, just to be fair. The patient I have been numerous times wants to salute the researchers and clinicians in dentistry. And although I am sitting at my keyboard in some pain at the moment from part one of a root canal procedure, which is what brought this subject to mind, I want to express my gratitude.

What exactly is a root canal procedure?

Although it’s not particularly difficult to understand, nonetheless it took centuries to invent. As I understand it, bacteria from a crack in the top of a tooth can get into the pulp below the naturally occurring enamel crown and cause an infection. Even if there is no infection, cold or heat or air can cause the nerves inside the tooth to register pain, which is an alarm.

The roots of the tooth have tiny canals in them in which the nerves reside. If the source of the intrusion that has stimulated the nerve cannot be repaired with a filling over the top of the tooth, then the pulpy decay below the enamel has to be cleaned out and the nerves have to be silenced to stop the pain. That is the function of the root canal procedure. After the nerves are removed, along with the site of any infection, the canals are filled with a sealer paste and rubber compound and covered with a dental cement to protect them from saliva.

All of the above is the job of the endodontist or specialist who uses the sophisticated tools high tech has invented to make this delicate procedure possible and the anesthetic to make it bearable. The patient must then go on, typically to another dentist, to have a crown or cap precisely fitted over the top of the tooth to replace the natural enamel. Crowns used to be made optimally of gold, but are now form-fitted with synthetic material that can be tinted the same color as the rest of the teeth, if necessary.

Interestingly, as a friend pointed out, there is something funny about the semantics involved. One goes to get “a root canal” even though one doesn’t receive “an appendix” but an appendectomy, nor “a tonsils” but a tonsillectomy. Perhaps the dental procedure should be called a “nerve homicide,” but that would only add more fear to an already fearful procedure. Well, that’s about the only funny aspect of this vital but still-dreaded tooth rescue.

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No more allowances. We want our children to eat, sleep and live well.

Do we set a good example for our offspring? We know that what we do is more important than what we say. Do we want them to text or talk on the phone when they’re driving? Of course not. Do we engage in either activity when they’re in the car? All the time. When you’re at the next stop sign or red light, look at the cars coming toward you. How many of those people are on the phone? Put down that phone! It’s not only safer for you, but it also gives your kids the right idea.

OK, sorry, teachers this next one isn’t aimed at all of you. I’m tired of reading all the deductions on my son’s and daughter’s homework assignments from teachers whose writing deserves demerits. Sure, we all make mistakes and, yes, we can’t be right all the time. But this is ridiculous. The directions contain numerous errors. Are teachers setting the right example when they misspell words, repeat a word or — gasp — use the incorrect form of your? They should take an extra second to edit and proofread the material they give their students. The message the children get when they read their teachers’ writing is that grammar, word choice and rules of writing are only important for students and for grades and don’t count, even inside the classroom. Children can spot hypocrisy from across the school.

Years ago, at P.J. Gelinas Junior High School, my seventh-grade math teacher, Mr. Braun, said we’d get an extra five points if we spotted an error in anything he did. He was challenging us and himself and was helping us learn — and benefit — from his mistakes. Did he not make errors because he knew we were watching carefully or did he only make that deal with us because he didn’t make many mistakes? Either way, we paid closer attention to his — and our — work.

OK, teachers, relax. I admire what you do and I appreciate the effort you put into your work. I know you have thousands of pages to grade. If you believe your writing matters, please lead by example.

Then there are coaches. We volunteers face a difficult task. We stand in front of a group of restless kids who want to score the winning basket, make their parents proud and be a hero. Everyone can’t play in every inning or in every second. We have difficult decisions. We also deal with parents who make unrealistic requests: “Yes, coach, can my daughter please bat first on Tuesday night games because she needs to leave early those nights.”

The kids watch us carefully, not only to see if we approve of how they do, but also to see how we react to difficult situations. We’ve coached in games where the other coach, the players on the other team or the referees are violating some written or unwritten sporting code. Maybe the other coach has told his pitchers not to throw strikes because it’s getting darker. If we can’t finish the game, the score reverts to the earlier inning when they were winning. This isn’t a hypothetical — I know of at least one case where this happened.

We could get angry, shout and throw equipment on the field. Is that the kind of behavior we should allow ourselves? Are we teaching our children how to deal with adversity? Do our allowances lead to their allowances later in life? Are we dooming them to repeat the actions we’re not proud of in the future?

Maybe one of the toughest parts about being a parent is learning how to grow beyond the limitations we’ve carried with us from childhood. Some of those spring from our adult allowances. How about if we take a moment to recognize the allowances we make for ourselves. That could be constructive for us and for the little eyes that record everything we do on their own version of YouTube.

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At the risk of sounding like a cliché, the future is, in fact, now. And it’s up to our North Shore towns to embrace that fact.

Huntington Town unveiled a new initiative this week that makes it easier for residents to learn about and sign up for its programs with the click of a mouse, or the touch of a tablet.

The spring brochure from the town’s parks and recreation department was released online as an interactive document, which allows residents to watch a video about a summer athletic program, directly ask the program head any questions they may have and then sign up to participate, all with a few clicks.

This brochure is available on a desktop, tablet or mobile phone, and is not only keeping residents informed more easily, but also making the town money with new space for local advertisers.

Once we heard about this project, it seemed almost hard to believe that this technology wasn’t being utilized across the North Shore in other towns like Brookhaven or Smithtown.

This move cuts costs, adds revenue and reduces the town’s environmental footprint by stopping mass production and printing of the paper brochures, Huntington officials said. This is a win-win for any town, and one that other towns should start mimicking as soon as possible. A town’s first duty is to serve the people as efficiently as possible. Municipalities should constantly be looking to update their systems and make their communication efforts as progressive as possible.

We think North Shore towns should look to Huntington in this regard. There is still great room for improvement and the ideas are as close as a neighborhood away. To view the interactive pdf visit www.tohparks.com

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The insults, the barbs,
the teasing galore.

The candidates fight
every night, but what is it for?

These men and this woman want our trust.

At this point, many warrant disgust.

Who are they who want a job like no other?

Do they listen, or do they make us shudder?

Are they good, are they smart, do they have what it takes?

Can they bring us to glory
and not become fakes?

What do we need in this
election year?

Are they really the ones
to calm our fear?

Hillary and Bernie duke it out,

they argue, fight
and sometimes they pout.

On the right, Cruz, Kasich and formerly Rubio chase
the man with the hair.

Trump is his name,
and they want their share.

He’s a bully, a braggart
and he’s way ahead.

The others sound desperate
and they seem to see red.

Mitt Romney has come
to throw sand in Trump’s face.

Mitt’s presence is odd, some say it’s a disgrace.

He lost but didn’t go gently
into that good night,

he’s worried about Trump
and wants a fierce fight.

We like to believe we are part
of a whole,

but we have huge differences down to our souls.

Some believe Muslims
should all stay away,

others suggest we should all have our say.

Protesters appear to cause
commotion,

the sounds and sights are fraught with emotion.

The wife of the president long ago,

Hillary is under fire for
making dough.

A university fight
nips at his heels,

Trump says, “It’s OK,
the school is real.”

The debates offer jabs
and tough one-liners,

some of these leaders could
be sporting shiners.

Tough choices now, the voters have to take sides.

With each new vote,
there’s nowhere to hide.

The country is vast,
it’s hard not to offend.

We’re different in New York from those in South Bend.

Bernie Sanders shares plans
that people adore.

He wants the working class
to have so much more,

but can he do half of what
he desires?

Or would he wind up putting out vast fires?

The people crave change,
it’s clear as a bell.

The same old approach
has no chance to sell.

We’re sick and tired of being tired and sick.

We the People don’t want
something so slick.

The rhetoric has grown
increasingly coarse,

it’s ugly, messy and the leaders sound hoarse.

Who will you choose
on Election Day?

Do you really want
anyone to stay?

Will the candidates discuss
issues that matter?

Or will they just make their own pocketbooks fatter?

On what do we agree,
from sea to sea?

What is there that’s common
to you and to me?

Can you picture these people when they were kids?

Do you think they were proud of all that they did?

Were they good to friends,
to teachers and foes?

Or did they know better
than average Joes?

When one of them wins and wants to lead us together,

will he or she make us stronger and help us get better?

They fight with their rivals
and say others are wrong,

how can any of them help people get along?

You have to vote, like it or not,

it’s our duty, we’re in a big spot.

Tune out the bluster
and the attacks,

and ask yourself if they
have our backs.

Who are they who want a job like no other?

Do they listen,
or do they make us shudder?

Are they good, are they smart, do they have what it takes?

Can they bring us to glory
and not become fakes?

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Here is a terrific idea for those of a certain age. Have a pajama party with close friends at a distant and beautiful location of at least three nights duration. Why three nights? Because it takes that long for normally reserved people to open up and speak freely about life as they have known it. Why pajamas? For the same reason. After a day filled with enjoyable activities, like sightseeing, shopping and dining, climbing into pajamas and meeting in the living room to chat goes a long way toward facilitating informality and frank exchange.

And why have such an experience? Because after a lot of years of living, seniors are expected to have amassed some wisdom with the answers to questions that habitually occur to us. One thing is sure: Probably no two people will have the same answers to all the questions, and hearing the different perspectives is thought-provoking and sometimes even comforting.

Now let me be clear. I am not suggesting orgies in the basement. I am saying that much has changed over the period of our lives, and those of us who have seen those changes can understand each other and even commiserate. It’s nice to be understood. It’s valuable to hear how others have dealt with the same opportunities and challenges.

What are some of the subjects that might be discussed?

Death is certainly one. We all face an end to our lives. How do we regard the inevitable? Are we afraid? Probably not so much. With age comes acceptance to a large degree. Is there an afterlife? A purgatory? Will we again be with our loved ones? In fact, do we believe there is a God? And what is the purpose of life? There are no bounds to the scope of discussions. The subjects just flow from each other.

Then there are the endless conversations about children and maybe grandchildren. How have they fared? How much should we help them? What is in store for them? What problems do they have? Have their marriages held together?

There are the huge and sometimes incomprehensible changes in sexual mores and in family values. There are still some who reserve sex for marriage but not many. The word “dating” can have a different connotation than it did when we were much younger. Living together and having children without the benefit of marriage is no longer the object of shame. Yet it may be just difficult for older people to accept, especially if members of the family are involved in such arrangements.

The relationship between men and women and hence between husbands and wives has undergone revolutionary change. And the issue of rape has become public, especially rape on campus. There was no such mention by past generations.

Health issues are a perennial topic for conversation. Trading remedies, physician and physical therapist names, healthy tips for diets and dieting, exercise and stress reduction are common themes. Discussions of the outcomes from hip and knee surgeries and even dental implants fill the airwaves and can truly offer needed information and help.

Music is another area of tremendous change. What one generation danced to, another can find boring. But there is unending admiration by seniors for the younger generation’s mastery of cellphones, laptops and the Internet. Yet there are some older folks who adamantly resist texting.

The truth is that we all need support groups and affirmation. We can also benefit from well-placed critiques that can be more easily accepted from contemporaries. And there is always lots of room for laughter, even belly laughs.

Pajama parties can provide the context for such engagement. Besides why should only kids have all the fun.

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This past Tuesday was International Women’s Day, and the message behind such an occasion is still very important, necessary and timely.

As we come off celebrating the day, time should be taken to reflect on the challenges that women still face today. Unequal compensation and women’s health issues are still hotly debated —  but these subjects can be traced back to much earlier times.

Stories come from all over the country about young female students being taken out of school for outfits deemed too revealing by administrators, even despite the widespread acceptance of boys shedding their shirts to play basketball or in the stands at football games. Girls’ sports teams have a harder time getting necessary funding for new uniforms and equipment, and many young women still get a puzzled look from others if they express interest in certain educational fields.

We heard one story in which a male engineering student told a female classmate that she must be lost as she walked in for the first day, also telling her that she wouldn’t last long.

It’s not only up to women to push back against sexist beliefs, thoughts or stigmas. It is also up to men.

We need to teach our boys at a young age how to view women — as their equals. We need to instill in them the correct way to value women and understand that women can make just as many contributions as females can.

Women can only achieve true equality if men stand by their side as partners. Let’s strive to raise a generation of men who will be proud to be those partners.

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Although I never her, I was the beneficiary of Nancy Reagan’s good taste. I was invited to the White House by President Ronald Reagan’s press office, my second visit after one during President Jimmy Carter’s term. The contrast between the two visits could not be more stark.

The former first lady died this week at the age of 94, outliving her husband by nine years. In reality she had started to lose him more than 10 years earlier in what she termed “her long goodbye,” as his suffering from Alzheimer’s disease carried him into his own world. Theirs was a long marriage in which they seemed devoted to each other, and she passionately protected him and his image as he moved from president of the Screen Actors Guild to governor of California to president of the United States. She said that her “greatest ambition” was to have a “successful, happy marriage.”

She may well have yearned for that as a result of her early childhood experiences. She was born Anne Frances Robbins in 1921, the daughter of Edith Luckett and Kenneth Robbins. Her mother was an actress and her father a car dealer who abandoned them shortly after she was born. When she was 2, her mother resumed her acting career. Then, when Nancy was almost 8 years old, her mother married a Chicago neurosurgeon, Loyal Davis, and overnight her circumstances reversed. Her life was now one of stability and privilege, and she went on eventually to graduate from an elite high school and then Smith College as Nancy Davis in 1943.

She might well have endorsed Sophie Tucker’s famous maxim: “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. … Rich is better.”

When Reagan was elected governor and the Reagans were expected to live in the governor’s mansion, which was at that time a run-down Victorian house on a busy, one-way street in Sacramento, Calif., she convinced her husband to lease at their own expense a 12-room Tudor house in a better neighborhood. Then, when Reagan was elected president, she decided to redo the private living quarters of the White House. She raised $822,000 from private contributors to do that, but she was severely criticized by the press.

Although she had made a number of worthwhile efforts over the years, including welcoming home former prisoners of war from Vietnam at a time when those who fought in the war were sometimes spat upon, and involving herself in a Foster Grandparents Program for mentally disabled children — according to an obit in The New York Times — she was generally regarded in the press as stylish but extravagant and aloof. She was petite, slender, exercised daily and wore expensive, designer clothing at a time when the country was still hobbled with the remains of the 1970s crushing recession. Her first public relations interest was not her own image but that of her husband.

So when she raised more than $200,000 from another contributor to buy a 220-place setting of new presidential china, the first since President Lyndon Johnson’s administration, she was most unpopular as a result. That seemed to reinforce her unflattering image.

Nancy Reagan as first lady traveled widely to speak out against drug and alcohol abuse, especially among young people, and she is the one who coined the phrase, “Just say no.” She also publicly urged women to get mammograms every year after she was diagnosed with breast cancer at a time when that disease was still whispered. And, as you might expect, she was a powerful advocate for new research into Alzheimer’s.

This is how she affected me. When our press group visited with President Carter, we were given lunch in a cardboard box that we held on our laps as we sat in a circle in the Oval Office. It consisted of two halves of different sandwiches, an apple, a bag of chips and a hardboiled egg. I clearly recall watching the president shaking salt on his egg and alternately taking bites. Although I was thrilled to be there and I appreciated the effort to project an image of austerity, I thought it seemed more fitting for a picnic on the lawn than one in the nerve center of the most powerful country in the world.

At President Reagan’s lunch, we ate in the East Wing at cloth-covered tables and were served white wine with our veal scaloppine on beautiful dishes. Now I am not particularly stylish or slender and certainly not a spendthrift, but I wanted to tell Mrs. Reagan, “Right on!”

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Technology has made it possible for us to stick both of our virtual feet in our virtual mouths.

Last week, I wrote about poor sportsmanship by a father at a basketball game. Before I started the column, I asked my wife if she thought he might see the article and get upset. She said, “Wait, first, what’s the chance that he’ll look for it; and, second, it’s not like you’re going to be naming names.”

She was right. I wasn’t planning to put his name in the paper or call attention to him. He made a sudden barking noise while one of the players on the other team was about to shoot a free throw. The players on the other team, their coach and, most importantly, the referee took exception to his conduct. The referee ejected him.

Recognizing that there was something to share with TBR readers, I wrote about the incident. I’m sure this gentleman isn’t the only one to cross a line at a child’s sporting event. I’ve heard parents screaming at their kids, at their kids’ coaches, at referees and anyone who will listen in the heat of the moment. After all, these games are critically important. A loss might mean their child only gets a second-place trophy that will collect dust on a shelf somewhere, while a win would mean they would get a slightly bigger trophy that collects slightly more dust on a shelf somewhere else.

I wrote the column, sent it to my editor electronically and went about the usual business of my day. By about 6 p.m., it occurred to me that my editor didn’t acknowledge the column the way she usually does. Then it hit me, like a punch to my stomach. My breathing got shorter and shallower and my hands felt hot and cold at the same time.

With an anxious scowl on my face, I went back to my email “sent” folder and I saw it. “Oh no!” I shouted, stunned by my blunder. You see, my editor and the wife of the man who made a scene at the basketball game have the same first name. I had typed the first three letters of my editor’s name and the computer mischievously misdirected the column. I stand by what I wrote, but I had no intention of sending the column to this man’s wife.

Realizing my error, I frantically called my wife, which compounded my mistake. In the panic of the moment, I dialed my daughter’s cellphone number, who was in the middle of volleyball practice. She raced to call me back in case something was wrong. Something was, indeed, wrong, but I didn’t want to distract her. Forcing myself to try to sound calm, I said something like, “Nah-everything-all-right-bye.”

I finally reached my wife, who patiently talked me back from the ledge. She suggested I write to the man’s wife and tell her that I misfired in my email. It wasn’t the end of the world and, before long, my wife assured me I’d find it funny in a “I can’t believe I really did that” way.

I did what my wife suggested and the man’s wife said she thought I had sent her the column on purpose. I assured her it was a mistake. That’s where the conversation ended.

I have been on the other side of such emails. One of my editors wrote to someone she thought was another editor about how annoyed she was with my story. It’s about 20 years since that email reached me and I had almost forgotten about it … almost.

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A new 24-hour hotline will soon be available to Long Islanders battling addiction, bringing new hope to families struggling to overcome drug-related issues.

Suffolk County officials recently announced their hotline, which the Long Island Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence will run in order to direct callers to different resources in the area based upon their needs. It could launch by April.

While addiction is a growing issue that lawmakers have struggled to address, this hotline will become a new tool to combat it. We can see it assisting many people who previously would not have known where to turn. It could be particularly helpful because it will provide an easy route for a population that is often so isolated that they have trouble digging themselves out of the hole of addiction. Some have been pushed away by their families, or have only old friends who reinforce bad habits. But the hotline will be there in their moment of clarity, no matter the hour, to steer them toward the support they need.

Until the hotline launches a few weeks from now, there are other places to call for help:

• LICADD: 631-979-1700

• Response of Suffolk County 24-hour hotline: 631-751-7500

• Hope House Ministries: 631-978-0188

• Phoenix House’s Edward D. Miller substance abuse treatment center: 844-447-0310

• Samaritan Village’s Suffolk Outpatient Treatment Program: 631-351-7112

• St. Charles Hospital rehab program: 631-474-6233

This version removes an incorrect phone number.

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This is the critical time, the time when those who cannot hold on any longer have fallen off their New Year’s resolutions track. That’s most of us. The best of intentions, articulated amid holiday cheers, have a way of trailing off in the cold light of January and February.

If you are among those committed few who are going strong and plowing ahead, congratulations. If, however, you are like the rest of us, weak but still wishful, I have some thoughts on the subject of resolutions. Statistics tell us that by Valentine’s Day, 80 percent of people who would like to improve their lives have given up. What we are not told is how many start again. Really, it not necessary for resolutions only to be made beneath mistletoe. If we peter out, we can pick ourselves up and begin anew. The pressure is off. And here are some tricks to sticking with it this time.

Don’t make unrealistic resolutions that are overwhelming. Want to lose 30 pounds? Losing weight is a common idea, but it is hard to break eating habits and it is a slow process. However, breaking the 30 pounds into smaller goals, like 1 pound a week, is doable. And a small success encourages endurance.

Try to find a buddy to lose weight with, even going to the gym together. Whatever your goal is, it’s easier with support from someone else and it surely is more fun. It’s harder to go it alone.

Some people might prefer to keep their resolutions private, in which case the buddy idea doesn’t work. There are some good reasons for privacy. Making public commitments can create too much pressure.

Or maybe you don’t want others to know how bad things really are and how much you need improving — if it isn’t already obvious. And then there are those who try to sabotage you, for whatever reason. It’s not pretty, but such urges exist in humans. Perhaps out of competitive motives or fear, you will be a different person and your adversaries won’t be worthy of you.

Attempt to make resolutions fun. Fix on what you will do or how you will feel once your goal is realized. The drudgery of getting there is taking you ever closer to your ideal.

Making resolutions is a little like making a to-do list. Try to limit the number to the two most important items at most. Otherwise life gets too confusing and energy is dissipated in different directions.

Finally, if you give up, start again. I have. When resolutions become habits, they will carry us to our goal. And habits are much easier to practice than that heavy, multisyllabic word, “resolutions.”