Huey Lewis — yes, I am so going there — had a song about the power of love. He said it could “make a bad one good, a wrong one right.” And though it’s just a song – from the ‘80s, no less – the sentiment is not all that different from that of celebrity love architect Kailen Rosenberg.
Yes, you read that right, celebrity love architect.
Known for bringing people together, Kailen Rosenberg has worked with thousands of clients over the past 20 years as more than a mere matchmaker. She worked her magic with Paul Carrick Bunson on Oprah’s award-winning reality show, “Lovetown, USA,” on OWN — the Oprah Winfrey Network. She turned Kingsland, Georgia, once plagued by resentment and disagreement, into a harmonious town that thrived on love.
As her husband, a homebuilder, pointed out, Kailen is a love architect because she treats relationships as structures to be built on and added to with love. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
The foundation of lasting relationships, Kailen says, are people who are healed, healthy and whole. “We can all make a tremendous shift in our world just by being gentle with our words and gentle in our thoughts,” she added during a recent telephone conversation.
Hmm. We might want to pass that on to some Facebook posters.
So how do we increase the love energy in our lives? Maybe get off Twitter and Facebook for starters. Okay, so Kailen didn’t exactly say that, but she does have a website called TheLoveRadar.com, a barometer of sorts. It can rate a city’s love or hatred based on tweets from people living there. Cool, right?
The idea behind it, says Kailen, who lives in Minnesota, is for people to see the power of positive (or negative) energy. She’s seen the proof played out in the Super Bowl. It’s actually happened that a team playing for a city with a higher love quotient has beaten one with less love, even though the team wasn’t favored to win! So much for the trash talk.
The mother of three sons hopes to do more with the site, which her husband of 13 years built for her. Of course, with finishing her book Real Love, Right Now and shooting a new reality show, “Stewarts and Hamiltons,” for the E! Network, Kailen has been pretty busy!
Meanwhile, Kailen, who has a master’s-level certification as a life coach, has other ways to stoke love in all the relationships in our lives.
“We spend a lot of time in life lying to ourselves by not listening to our voice,” Kailen says.
“We lose parts of ourselves because we become someone other than who we’re meant to be.”
This is why when she works with clients, singles, couples and families, she “digs deep” — 100 layers deep — to get to the heart of a person to uncover who the person truly is. This work is important for helping clients understand why they react in ways that can lead them to disconnect from their loved ones.
Kailen, who exuded nothing but warmth and sincerity throughout our phone conversation, recommended that families come together every week “for a meeting of the hearts and minds and spirits.”
This family time would be an opportunity to share the highlights or low points of the week and for each family member to listen not just with their ears, but with their heart. And, says Kailen, not to give advice. It’s a time “to see into each other,” she says — an exercise that leads to more natural compassion and empathy, strengthens bonds and keeps loved ones connected.
“We lose intimacy when we allow stress to disconnect us,” she says.
Kailen also recommends date nights with your partner. “Continue to court each other,” she says. Be flirty. Smell good.
And set aside special “date time” with the kids, as well, whether they are young children or adult children. Do something fun. Do something different, Kailen says.
And if you do those two things, you can keep whatever goes awry in life from harming your relationships.
Most important for nurturing yourself and your relationships is “learning to find and trust your inner voice,” Kailen advises.
“It is your teacher. It protects us and guides us to the right one and away from the wrong one.”
“Stewarts and Hamiltons,” a reality show featuring Alana Stewart, former wife of both Rod Stewart and George Hamilton, premieres on E! on July 26 at 10 pm.