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Pregnant

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By Daniel Dunaief

Daniel Dunaief

We have friends who live close to us who are pregnant. Okay, that sounds weird, right? She’s pregnant, and he looks sheepish, like he’s not sure what’s coming.

That’s not entirely fair. He was socially awkward before he brought his small package of genetic material to the pregnancy party. Why would anyone imagine he would be any different in the months before he makes a head first dive down the rabbit hole into the wonders and challenges of parenthood?

Now, if their families are anything like others I’ve known, they are bound to have a wide range of pre and post delivery discussions.

“Are you going to name the baby after my side of the family?”

“Make sure you put sugar, spice and everything nice in the crib or the baby will become colicky like your Aunt Michelle. She was one of the most miserable babies we’ve ever seen and that’s because her mother forgot about the sugar and spice under the crib.”

One of the most fascinating and sometimes confounding parts of the baby discussion, which can extend well into the years that follow, is the family credit for various traits.

To wit, “He’s incredibly serious and focused just like his Uncle Oswald. That Oswald was a man with a purpose from the time he was born, just like your little baby Joey.”

Or maybe, “Morgan has the same broad smile, laugh or sense of humor as her Aunt Carol.”

Each family can dig in, sharing ways that the developing child has characteristics they are convinced come from one side of the family, often from the speaker who has a proprietary interest in propagating the enduring myth of a family heritage.

Such talk suggests somehow that heredity is much more important than environment. The credit can go beyond physical characteristics such as long eyelashes, rounded shoulders, or sparkling eyes: they can include artistic talent, an ability to relate to other people, or a proficiency for languages.

That somehow seems un-American. After all, we the people generally believe that hard work can help people become proficient in any area, developing the kind of talent that differentiates them in their field and allowing them to control their destiny.

Such strong genetic links, while providing an appealing way to connect to ancestors and to those who aren’t around to smile and play with their descendants, is akin, if you’ll pardon the pun, to linking someone’s last name to their profession.

“Oh, the Jones family? Sure, they all became teachers. The Berringtons went into the clothing business, while the Shimmers all became dentists. They all have such gifted dental hands.”

Such blanket statements about where someone’s exceptionalism originated also throws the other sides of the family into the shadows, as if their only role were to ensure the ongoing survival of the dominant and more important family tree.

Family trees, however, like the trees that people decorate around this time of year, have bilateral symmetry, with people decorating each side in popcorn, cranberries and/or holiday lights.

Rarely does anyone do a deep dive into the other side of a family, learning whether the Jones family had faster legs, a quicker wit, better grades or a stronger work ethic.

Then again, the point of these claims isn’t to be scientific, thorough or even fair. It’s a way to connect the children of today with those who came before. Even if people don’t believe in reincarnation, focus on genes, or contemplate the enduring qualities of any family culture, they might feel tremendous joy and comfort hoping that this person’s unwritten life includes future chapters that reflect a familial past that need not be exclusive to one branch, one side or one person.

Story weaving may help give a developing life context and meaning. Ideally, those attributes and connections may remind the family and this new person about the kind of strong and accomplished roots that can help him or her develop into the kind of person he or she chooses to be, which would be a win for everyone.

File photo

A dispatcher in training for the Suffolk County Department of Fire, Rescue and Emergency Services helped deliver a baby over the phone on Wednesday morning.

According to a press release from the FRES, a man who had been on the way to the hospital called 911 shortly before 10 a.m. to report that his wife was in labor but the baby’s delivery could not wait. He had pulled their vehicle to the side of Nesconset Highway in East Setauket, in front of the Walmart.

Dispatcher Joseph Pucci answered the call. FRES said he verified the couple’s location and that the woman was 36 weeks pregnant, about to deliver for the fourth time. He gave instructions to the 38-year-old woman’s husband, and the couple delivered a baby boy within three minutes.

Pucci, who FRES said has been training for the past five months, instructed the father on how to check the baby’s breathing, keep the infant warm and use a shoelace to tie off his umbilical cord. Then he stayed on the line until Suffolk County police and Setauket Fire Department personnel arrived on the scene.

According to FRES, both the mother and the baby seemed healthy and were transported to Stony Brook University Hospital.

Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone commended the dispatcher-in-training for his work later on Wednesday.

“Thanks to the knowledgeable response from emergency service dispatcher Joseph Pucci, a baby boy was delivered safely this morning,” he said. “Good training and clear thinking helped this couple and their baby just as it was needed. Congratulations to this family on their newest arrival.”

Danielle Stenzel and David Delligatti Jr. welcome Jaxon Abel Delligatti at St. Charles Hospital. Photo from the hospital

Danielle Stenzel and David Delligatti Jr. rang in the new year with a bundle of joy when the mama delivered baby boy Jaxon Abel Delligatti at 6:20 a.m. on Jan. 1, the first baby born at St. Charles Hospital in 2016.

The Port Jefferson hospital presented Stenzel and Delligatti with a gift basket to celebrate the birth.

The couple is from Lake Grove and they are first-time parents.

File photo

A mother was delivering a baby on the side of the road when officers on patrol stepped in early Wednesday morning.

The Suffolk County Police Department said a car was stopped on the side of Deer Park Avenue, just south of Jericho Turnpike in Dix Hills, shortly after 2 a.m. and when patrol officer Joseph Ferro offered assistance, the driver said his wife was in active labor.

Officers Gerard Maxim and Jonathan Murray also responded, police said, and Murray helped the 32-year-old woman deliver a healthy baby girl.

Police said the Huntington Community First Aid Squad transported the Dix Hills couple and their new baby to Huntington Hospital.

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Danielle Wisnieski mugshot from SCPD

Police allege a pregnant woman was on drugs when she overturned and crashed her car in Kings Park the night before Thanksgiving.

The 26-year-old, Danielle Wisnieski, who is also 26 weeks pregnant, according to the Suffolk County Police Department, was driving north on Indian Head Road at the time of the crash. Police said she lost control of the vehicle, a 2003 Cadillac Escalade, near the intersection with Old Northport Road and overturned just after 8 p.m.

Paramedics treated her at the scene, police said, and administered Narcan, a medication that is used to block the effects of opioids like heroin and Vicodin and is commonly used to reverse overdoses.

The driver, a Kings Park resident, was transported to Stony Brook University Hospital to be treated for minor injuries. The passenger in her car, a 34-year-old Kings Park resident, was treated for minor injuries as well at Huntington Hospital.

No other cars were involved in the crash.

Wisnieski was arrested and charged with driving while impaired by drugs.

Attorney information for the suspect was not immediately available, and she was scheduled to be arraigned at a later date.