Tags Posts tagged with "Plain Talk"

Plain Talk

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

When is enough, enough? How many more innocent children have to be martyred before we take the blinders off and heed the call to action?!

Twenty-one additional families have to live with the profound sense of loss of life of those they have loved. Nineteen innocent school-age children and two teachers were massacred by a depraved 18-year-old, who was legally allowed to purchase two automatic rifles that are used for war, not hunting or innocent self-defense. How can the people that we have elected to lead us remain silent? By their silence, they demonstrate complicity!

Does a senator or congressperson have to have his or her son or daughter murdered before they have the guts to stand up for justice and speak out for common sense gun safety? This is not about denying any American citizen his or her second amendment rights — it is about ensuring the safety of all American citizens, no matter what their age.

When will those who lead us have the guts to lead and not be bought off by the gun lobby, the insurance lobby or any other special interest groups that do not care about the life and safety of ordinary Americans?

Many in power are not doing their jobs on both sides of the aisle. They need to be voted out of office this election cycle. The silent majority needs to stand up, be counted and act on behalf of the innocent.

Schools were always a safe place for children to grow, learn and have fun. Another student body of more than 600 students has been traumatized. How long will it take for them to move beyond their fears? Some will carry this trauma for the rest of their lives; it will impact their journey forever. Other students will have a chance to recover, but it will be a hard road especially since this poor Texan community does not have the trained mental health professionals to assist these students and their families. 

Will government step in? Who knows? It seems rather clear by all the school shootings in the past 10 years that the government and our leadership does not care! 

Every religious leader who reads this column, I pray you have the courage to challenge your congregation to give voice to this very important human life issue. Every child in America deserves to feel safe and be safe in every environment. We need to demand universal background checks and common-sense gun safety laws that will protect all Americans everywhere.

We also need to develop national protocols when a high school student is identified as a threat to the safety of his or her classmates. Mental illness in this country is out of control and untreated. Suspension and/or expulsion does not ensure safety.  Remember the Parkland massacre!

Our children are our greatest gift. May they never experience the trauma of Sandy Hook or Robb Elementary School. May we have the courage to move beyond our deafness. Our children are counting on us! 

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Father Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

Spring is a time for new beginnings. As you read this column, many of our college graduates will have graduated or are preparing to graduate this month. They are closing one chapter and opening a new chapter across the landscape of great division and polarization.

Four years ago, when they began their college adventure, the world was radically different. They have seen the polarization of our nation. They have witnessed the senseless destruction of a sovereign nation in Europe. They have been profoundly affected by the coronavirus and everything associated with it; two years of total disruption and having to live in ways unimaginable. 

For the first time in 40 years of teaching, I have had a growing number of bright young men and women who were clearly ill-prepared for their first year of college. They had a very hard time with balancing school, work and life. College is not high school. College professors usually don’t pamper their students. They expect that students will attend class regularly, hand in assignments on time and engage in lively conversation and debate.

Time management has been a real challenge. The quality of their critical thinking and their writing skills is clearly impaired. The issues of depression and anxiety are profoundly present as well as a lacking of ability and skills to do something about these issues.

So many colleges this year have been ill-equipped to respond to the growing number of students needing mental health support. Many local college campuses do not have enough mental health professionals to respond to the growing need.

We need to reshape our college learning landscape. We need to collaborate with our local high school colleagues and identify the ways that we can support students preparing to go to college, to help them address those weaknesses that will impair their success.

Educators at every level have to work harder on behalf of our students and make adjustments that will empower students at every level of education to do their best. Learning is a process, not a product. Despite these challenges there are extraordinary men and women that are graduating this year from our community colleges, our local universities and our graduate schools.

This past semester I have been privileged to teach the best of the best at St. Joseph’s College, Suffolk County Community Honors College and Fordham University’s Graduate School of Social Services. These graduates at each level possess a passion for learning that I thought was lost. Their critical thinking and analytical skills are above the norm and their capacity for being sociologically mindful is beyond words and profoundly well-developed.

As a veteran educator, my spring semester students have inspired me to stay the course. They have taught me so many important life lessons. Each of them is committed to making a difference in their particular fields.

They really embody Gandhi’s words: “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Congratulations college graduates of 2022!  

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

Recently Newsday carried a front-page story in its’ Sunday edition on the opioid epidemic and all of the Pharma money given to Suffolk County. It appropriately highlighted a number of exceptional professionals who are providing lifesaving support in the area of prevention and education for those who have been afflicted with addiction.

Education and prevention are vital services in reaching out to those who are struggling with this life-threatening affliction. We need to provide more funds in these areas and wider program opportunities for those in need.

Our county is sitting on millions of dollars due to the Pharma settlement. The County Executive has had access to millions of dollars due to the settlement for months. Unfortunately, no RFP (request for proposal) has been issued; no comprehensive task force has been announced that contains more than government bureaucrats. After 40 years of dealing with the government, I know their wheels regarding change in any kind of progressive action are slow. Unfortunately, we can no longer wait, we must act now!

How many families have to senselessly bury their children before we realize that we lack the important resources to save a life? Education and prevention are very important. However, right now in our county we do not have the necessary long-term residential treatment programs for those who need and seek them.

Chronic heroin relapse addicts are not going to get better in a 28-day program or a three-month program. Evidence-based research underscores that a year to 18 months is needed, if someone is genuinely going to learn the skills to sustain a life of recovery and wellness.

In our county, we have a desperate need for long-term residential treatment. The two programs that exist have endless waiting lists. Every day I get at least three or four desperate calls from parents who are afraid that their children are going to die and they have no place to turn. Every day I place another cross in our garden of remembrance for a young person who overdosed on heroin or fentanyl.

Our silence on this important life issue is deafening. We need to stand up, be counted and demand action before someone close to us dies senselessly — someone we might have been able to save if there was a place for him or her to go.

Insurance companies in our country set people up to fail and ultimately to die. The games they play with people’s lives is scandalous and reprehensible. We need to demand greater accountability for the money spent on healthcare; we need to create opportunities that will save people’s lives and empower them to wellness. Spring is a time for new beginnings, new life and renewed hope. Let’s be courageous and be that spring!

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

Recently, I had a powerful discussion around a very toxic social issue. It was in my Honors Sociology class at Suffolk County Community College, which is probably one of the best kept secrets in public higher education on Long Island.

My class is diverse on every level. Their commonality is they are all bright and from all over Suffolk County. The respect and critical thinking skills they employed was refreshing. I have been an adjunct professor of Sociology there for over 35 years and I have never had a class that disappointed me.

However, this class has truly raised the bar. They took this very complex opinion piece  and were able to dissect it, respond and not react to each other. They raised phenomenal questions and pursued them. They acknowledged that civil discourse was critical and ad hominem attacks were not acceptable. They agreed to disagree in an acceptable and respectful manner. They also demonstrated a quality that is sadly lacking in Washington —  empathy for each other. Their quest for vetted evidence-based research for some of the more complex questions was refreshing.

The initial issue raised some important life issues and important life questions in a free society. The student’s quest for knowledge and truth was impressive. At the end of our discussion they were amazed at how much they all learned from each other because they were open and responsive instead of reactive and confrontational. They represent a real hope for tomorrow. Some who are leading us would learn much from their wisdom if they took the time to listen!

Recently, the federal government released another disturbing report regarding the heroin epidemic. They spoke about how this unfortunate health issue is out of control and is exponentially taking life senselessly. Most of us already know that!

However, the programs they are recommending money be spent on once again are misguided and will ultimately be ineffective in confronting this national health crisis. We in the trenches are dealing with this painful epidemic every day. The number of young men and women around the country who are senselessly dying is out of control. The lack of resources to make a difference in addicts’ lives and our response, at best, is pathetic.

Education and prevention are important, but we have no long-term treatment beds and no money being allocated to develop them. Our present system of treatment is inadequate and shameful. Every day we are bearing a growing number of young people that need not die. Visit the grounds of Little Portion Friary at Hope Academy in Mount Sinai, go behind the grotto of Our Lady of Hope to the Garden of Remembrance and you will find more than 100 crosses and other symbols that mark the young people who have died senselessly during this pandemic. Every day two or three more crosses are added. When are we going to say no more?

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

It’s hard to believe another new year has begun. There is so much tension and turmoil across our American landscape that is infected with a new COVID variant that is highly contagious. Our essential workers continue to be our heroes, as they quietly take on longer hours and additional shifts to keep people safe and healthy. We are blessed to have three extraordinary hospitals in our larger community: St. Charles, Mather, and Stony Brook University Hospital.

Our political landscape continues to be overwhelmed with hateful and divisive rhetoric that seems to be paralyzing us from moving forward. It is this hateful speech on both sides of the aisle that continues to infect and rip at the heart and soul of America. We need to elect leaders who will represent us and our issues in Washington, no matter what their political affiliation might be.

Our schools are failing at every level to motivate this generation to consider genuine government service and help them to believe that their voice does matter; that their active participation in the political life of our country can and will make a difference.

Active engagement on the part of every citizen will defeat the pharmaceutical industry, the insurance lobbyists and the gun lobbyists. Compromise and fairness once again will take center stage. We are a democracy, not an autocracy. Everyone’s vote and voice matters. Race, religion, sexual orientation or social status should not color how we see and support the issues.

Our public discourse has lost its moral compass. The often vulgar and disrespectful  ad hominem attacks too often have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Social media should be a positive tool to bring us together not a destructive weapon to demonize and destroy. 

Despite this troubling landscape as we begin a new year there are powerful lights piercing the darkness. 

Two young men from two different worlds on the verge of human destruction reclaimed their lives; one was a high school dropout, the other a college dropout. Both spent a significant amount of time living in the streets. Each man graduated in May with Masters degrees in social work from two different universities. Both decided to give back and take jobs as school social workers in different school districts. I asked them why? Both said: “I want to give back and possibly prevent someone else from walking down the wrong road.”

Probably the most touching experience I had this holiday season is when I met an eight-year-old girl named Celia. She came to her mom at the height of the pandemic and said, “I want to do something for the homeless.” This gave birth to “Celia Sews for Socks.” She made scrunchies and hair ties and sold them at a few local community events. She made $1000 to buy socks for the most needy among us. She donated $700 worth of socks to Hope Academy in Mount Sinai and $300 worth of socks to Little Flower Children’s Services.

What a refreshing little girl who has not been infected by all the craziness around us. She brought 10 bags of beautiful socks for some of the most vulnerable among us living at Hope Academy. The men gave her a standing ovation!

“Celia Sews for Socks” is a refreshing reminder that we can do better and this new year can be better. Celia, thank you for reminding me that hope lives in our midst!

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Father Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

A few weeks ago, the federal government announced over 100,000 people died from heroin/fentanyl.  In Suffolk County, the number of senseless deaths is beyond numbers and words.

The pandemic has strained mental health services; and comprehensive residential treatment beds are hard to find. Long-term residential treatment is almost nonexistent.

However, the County Executive’s office allegedly has millions of dollars to distribute that are being held hostage while they decide how to distribute it. Meanwhile, countless lives are being senselessly lost due to this inaction.

It seems pretty clear to many of us in the trenches that a request for proposals should be sent out. Those interested should submit evidence-based proposals that primarily focus on opioid treatment and relapse prevention.

A team of professionals in the field of addiction, County legislators and parents who have lost children to this health epidemic should be left with the task of deciding who gets what, but it must happen soon! Time is of the essence. Every day I get calls from at least two parents representing two different families asking me to pray for a son or daughter that has overdosed and died.

Insurance is useless. It is not shaped on wellness or positive outcomes; it is shaped on saving money, not lives. Outpatient treatment for chronic relapses does not work for most. It is really a death sentence. Look at the data. Too many insurance companies refuse to pay and do the right thing. They should be forced to pay and should have no say in determining the kind of treatment necessary for the patient. That should be left in the hands of trained professionals.

It is December; in the Christian community it is known as Advent — a season of hope. In the Jewish community, they celebrate Hanukkah, also known as the Festival of Lights. Christians light advent candles, Jews light candles on the menorah. For both religious traditions, it is a time for renewed hope.

This holiday season is a powerful opportunity to celebrate the gift of hope — to transcend all the infectious negativity that is polarizing our nation. It is a time to celebrate the goodness that is all around us. The random acts of kindness in our community are inspirational. I continue to be amazed and inspired by our young people.

Christmas Magic, a local charity, collects thousands of gifts for children in our homeless shelters throughout Suffolk County. It engages hundreds of high school and college students who donate their time, collect and wrap gifts for poor children.

Christmas Magic was the creative idea of a dad more than 25 years ago who wanted to teach his children the real meaning of Christmas. That father is a man from our community who has done so much for so many never looking for anything in return. His power of example is extraordinary. He not only talks the talk but he walks the walk.

As we celebrate the Season of Hope and the Festival of Lights, let us make every effort to be beacons of hope and festivals of light for people who often hover in darkness.

May this season be a blessing for all of you — thanks for blessing me!

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

It’s hard to believe that it’s almost Thanksgiving. The leaves are changing colors and will soon fall to the ground once again covering the earth. As we prepare for this most important American celebration, we have so much to be thankful for.

This brutal pandemic seems to be coming to an end; leaving us with so much death, so much sickness and suffering, but also a powerful reminder that life is fragile and sacred and that we as a people and as a nation are resilient.

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, to give thanks for our many blessings. It should not be a noun but an action word. In other words, it’s not enough to just say we’re grateful, we need to show our gratitude by our actions.

If we ever needed to come together as a people, it is now. Thanksgiving is a great opportunity for us to build bridges and not walls; for creating a new narrative that is focused on healing and not hatred. It is a time for celebrating our strengths, not harping on our weaknesses.

It is a time to end the vulgar discourse that is infecting and polarizing our political landscape. It is reprehensible when an elected member of Congress stands in that sacred chamber without a mask that metaphorically gives the finger to the elected President of the United States! What has happened to our elected leadership? Have they lost their moral compass and their commitment to lead by example? What are we teaching our children about respect for the dignity of all people, no matter what their political affiliation?

Thanksgiving can be a time for new beginnings. Let us leave all the hatred and venom behind and focus on all the goodness that makes America great today! Professional football player Tom Brady, after a big win, took the time to shake hands with a little nine-year-old boy who is a cancer survivor. What about local students from a youth fellowship who bake cookies on a regular basis and bring them to a local homeless shelter, or the recovering heroin addict who became a social worker and wrote a book about hope and transformation?

Every day there are big and small miracles that are transforming our world. We need to slow down enough in the midst of all of this chaos and take off the blinders.

This Thanksgiving, as you gather with your family and loved ones to give thanks, set an extra plate at your table for that person in our community who might not have a table to sit at. Be grateful this Thanksgiving and remember “it’s not the breaths you take, it’s how you breathe!” (Augie Nieto).

Happy Thanksgiving. I am forever grateful that I live and work among you!

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

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By Father Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

The pandemic has changed the world forever. It has profoundly reminded us that all life is sacred, but also very fragile. Many families have drawn closer together. More and more people have strengthened their human connections and value their time together.

Unfortunately, it has also further polarized our nation. The heart and soul of our country is wounded and bleeding profusely. Stress and anxiety are on the rise and we are all ill-equipped to meet the escalating need for competent mental health professionals.

Our schools are struggling with this new landscape that our children must travel. There is a great need for a stronger mental health support system to meet the growing number of students who are frightened and anxious.

The lack of quality childcare makes it even more stressful for single moms and moms whose working income is critical for survival.

The light at the end of the tunnel is blurred with mixed messages, conspiracy theories that are blatant lies and elected leaders who are not interested in the people that elected them but rather special interest groups.

Some of our religious leaders have been painfully silent when they should speak to social justice, human rights and doing what’s right for our communities. Our moral compass seems to be broken. How many more lives need to be senselessly lost before we stand up and work harder at building bridges and not walls? 

As a divided nation, we are giving power to divisive mean-spirited persons who do not care about the heart and soul of our country.

We are continuing to bury an epidemic number of young people who are dying from heroin because of our horrific insurance and healthcare system— one that is more focused on the bottom line financially than empowering a person to long term wellness and recovery.

Millions of dollars continue to sit in the Suffolk County Treasurer’s office while the bureaucrats decide who is going to get what. We are in the midst of a national health crisis. We need action now. We need more beds for long-term treatment. We need to support the few hospitals that provide limited treatment to expand their services.

As we bicker, an increasing number of families are burying their children senselessly. What will it take to force us to reclaim our humanity and restore the character and integrity of our great nation?

We the people — what does that mean in a country that is so divided? I have seen firsthand, in the midst of our diversity and difference, people come together to support each other in our times of need. We need to reclaim that spirit, transcend our differences and renew the hopeful spirit of our nation.Hope does not abandon us. We abandon hope.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

Ground Zero. Pixabay photo

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

On September 11, 2001, where were you? I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was teaching my Freshman Seminar Class at St. Joseph’s College in Patchogue. It was a beautiful sunny day. Right after that all of our classes were suspended. I celebrated the campus mass that day. We prayed for all the victims, for all the first responders and for our nation.

It was a scary day, but it also brought out the best in all of us. The solidarity that emerged in the days after 9/11 was inspirational. The spontaneous gatherings to honor our first responders, firefighters, and police were heartwarming.

President Bush brought us together as a nation reminding us “we must never forget!” When he addressed the nation that day he made everyone feel better and feel that we were connected to each other.

Much has happened these past 20 years since 9/11. The world has changed and so has our nation. Technology has transformed a whole generation. Unfortunately, it is a double-edged sword. In an instant you can have information about anything you desire that would normally take you days and weeks to gather. It has also become in some circumstances a painful distraction. People are obsessed with their cell phones. Communication skills have become weaker. As a teacher, I have found a growing number of my students have inadequate critical thinking and analytical writing skills.

Recently, I took an informal poll of my college students. 90% of more than 100 students acknowledged being on their cell phone more than being engaged in any other activity. Most of them agreed that cell phone use is out of control.

Ground Zero. Pixabay photo

We talked about the need for more human connection and how polarized our nation is. It was amazing to see how many believe that their vote does not matter. We talked about civic engagement, how they are the future leaders of our nation and that they need to become more involved today.

On the 20th anniversary of 9/11, I was profoundly moved by the words of our former President George Bush at the Shanksville National Memorial in Pennsylvania. He reminded the nation of the need for unity and solidarity; that we need to rediscover the same American spirit that brought us together 20 years ago on that horrific day. He also reminded us that home-grown terrorism is as evil as terrorism around the world because it destroys the fabric of our nation by encouraging violence, hate and destruction.

As we remember 9/11 and the thousands that died on that dark day in American history, let us recommit ourselves to social justice and human rights; let us recognize our greatness in our diversity and our respect for the dignity of all people.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.

Pixabay photo

By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

Father Frank Pizzarelli

There is so much chaos in our midst. As we see a light at the end of the tunnel and start to feel free from the shackles of this pandemic, we need to seek out a deserted place to renew our spirit, recharge our battery and reflect on the things that are most important to us.

These past 18 months have been challenging. We have seen so much suffering, so much death, so much pain. For many of us, over the past few weeks we have been fortunate to reconnect with children, grandchildren, parents and good friends for the first time in more than a year. It’s overwhelming because we are beginning to realize that we have to create a new normal.

Hopefully, this new normal will cause us to value human connections over things; to see the importance of the people in our lives and to try to live every moment to the fullest. Hopefully, this new normal will underscore the importance of human relationships and the need for us to be respectful of all human beings no matter what their social circumstance, their sexual orientation, their race, religion or ethnicity.

As we begin to embrace this new normal, may we appreciate the sacredness of all life at all stages; may we also appreciate life’s fragileness and respond appropriately. We never know the time, the hour or the day that life as we know it might end. So, the challenge is to live life to the fullest, to make every moment count and to communicate to the people we love how much we love them and how important they are to us.

During this pandemic, I have seen so much pain and suffering, so much senseless death. I have deepened my appreciation for the people who give of themselves every day in healthcare and mental health — for all the essential workers that have sacrificed so much so others might live.

This past year has made me appreciate how hard life can be for so many who live in the shadows of mental health and addiction. Recently, I buried a 35-year-old recovering heroin addict who died last year in the midst of this pandemic. He spent the better part of his life in active addiction and destructive decision-making. He was lost and couldn’t find his way. Finally, he made the decision to embrace the road to recovery.

As he began that journey, it was very difficult. He had a number of stumbles along the way. He committed himself to a long term, nontraditional residential treatment program that helped him to change his life. He discovered a voice he never thought he had in poetry. It helped him to see life with a different lens. It empowered him to discover spirituality that helped him to cope with some of the potholes that he encountered along the way. His mother said she discovered a son who she thought was dead and found a son that, at first, she did not recognize. She saw laughter, compassion and concern for others. His new voice provided solace for so many and she found peace of heart. Although brief, she had reclaimed a lost son who was blessed with three years of a wonderful life.

This young man was doing well but like anyone who carries the cross of addiction, it took only an instant for him to disconnect and lose his life. The world is better because he walked among us and shared his new voice of hope, love and life. However, he is also a powerful reminder of how fragile life is and we do not know the time, the hour or the place when life ends. His life is a powerful reminder that we need to live each moment to the fullest, to become the best version of ourselves and to leave this world better than when we found it.

Addiction is like a cancer spreading out of control. People do recover and reclaim their lives but we have to do more to support those who are struggling on that road to find their way.

Father Francis Pizzarelli, SMM, LCSW-R, ACSW, DCSW, is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.