Lifestyles

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A closeup of the golden chain tree in bloom. Photo by Alisa Greene

By Ellen Barcel

Recently, a reader came across a beautiful tree on the campus of Suffolk County Community College in Selden in late May with absolutely gorgeous yellow flowers. What could it be, she wondered?

After a bit of quick research I was able to identify it as a golden chain tree (Laburnum).  A native of the mountains of southern Europe and Asia Minor, it is in the pea family. That, however, does not make it edible as all parts of the plant are poisonous, including the seed pods that follow the flowers in summer. If you decide to go with this plant, put it in an area where young children and pets can’t snack on it.

The golden chain tree at Suffolk County Community College in Selden. Photo by Alisa Greene
The golden chain tree at Suffolk County Community College in Selden. Photo by Alisa Greene

The pea family is a big one. Most are legumes, that is, are nitrogen-fixing plants. They contain a symbiotic bacteria in their roots that takes nitrogen from the atmosphere for the plant’s use.  Other plants in the pea family include the sweet pea, soybeans, edible peas, peanuts, carobs, the black locust tree and kudzu.

The golden chain tree (Laburnum x watereri “Vossii”) blooms in late May and early June for about three weeks with racemes that are about 10 to 20 inches long filled with gold to yellow flowers. Do not confuse the golden chain tree with the golden rain tree (Koelreuteria paniculata), a native of China and India. See my column of April 9 of this year for further information on the golden rain tree.

Some call this small (15 to 20 feet at mature height and about as wide), quick growing, deciduous tree a “Goldilocks plant” since it is very specific in its needs. It does best in hardiness zones 5 to 7. Since it evolved in a mountainous area, it’s logical that it doesn’t like extreme heat. It does best in a soil pH that is near neutral to alkaline. As so much of Long Island has very acidic soil, test your soil first and add lime to the soil if it is substantially below 6.6.

For optimum flowers, plant in a sunny or only slightly shady location. Since you will probably have to add lime to your soil for this one, and it likes sun, growing it as a small specimen tree in a lawn will provide both of these requirements — you probably lime your lawn periodically anyway. It prefers moist but well-drained soil.

The larvae of some Lepidoptera (moths and butterflies) use it as food, a plus for those gardeners wishing to help wildlife. Wear long sleeves and gardening gloves when planting or pruning as some people are allergic to the tree.

Monrovia, one of the suppliers of the golden chain tree, notes that it can be espaliered. This means that it can be pruned into a flat shape to grow against a fence, wall or pergola. If you decide to espalier your tree(s), you might consider interspersing it with vines that bloom later in the season to prolong the bloom time as the flowers last just a few weeks under optimal conditions.

Ellen Barcel is a freelance writer and master gardener. To reach Cornell Cooperative Extension and its Master Gardener program, call 631-727-7850.

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Ellen Brady with her father, Dave, at her wedding. Photo from Ellen Brady

By Ellen Brady

Most of the important occasions of my life, many of them happy, occurred in the month of June.

Achievement in school was always very important to me, and all my graduation ceremonies, including from college and graduate school, were in long ago Junes. My first time flying, an international flight to Belgium to spend the summer with my cousins the summer after sixth grade; my road test and prom; my first job; my engagement, wedding and the birth of my first child; the purchase of my first home — all these milestones took place in June. And yet, every year, around Memorial Day, when someone says, “Can you believe it’s going to be June in a few days?” my first thought is always of Father’s Day.

Father’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. To me, it seems less commercial than Christmas, Easter, even Mother’s Day. For me, those holidays are fraught with stress. Decorating, the pressure of buying the right gifts, hidden (and possibly imagined in my mind) expectations and trying, or being too overwhelmed to try, to make everything “right” kill any pleasure I could possibly experience on those occasions.

But Father’s Day is easy for me. I know I feel this way because of my dad, Dave Brady, affectionately and with tongue-in-cheek referred to by friends and family as Mr. Fun. He was a quiet, humble, unassuming man who seemed to have no expectations. Thus celebrating his presence in my life was always easy. A simple gift of Old Spice anything, or a beanbag ashtray or some new handkerchiefs purchased from the clothing store on Main Street in my hometown, which had long allowed my family to purchase “on account,” was exactly what he needed, or so he let me believe. My sister and I would bake a cake for dessert, and that was about all the attention and doting he could handle.

My father wasn’t an active parent; he left most of the child-rearing responsibilities to my mother, who therefore couldn’t be easygoing and gentle, the very qualities I loved about my father. He didn’t ask about my friends, or if I needed help with my homework or if everything was going okay at school. But that didn’t matter to me. We spent much of our time together comfortably sitting in silence. In the warm weather, we would sit on the front porch of our family home, reading or working The New York Times crossword puzzle, listening to the breeze rustle the leaves and the birds singing — we would watch the world go by.

My father died suddenly on Jan. 12, 1999, from a burst abdominal aortic aneurysm. It was two weeks before my 30th birthday, and I was moving to Florida with my husband in a week. I had barely ever left home, let alone lived outside the metro New York area. I was 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. Instead of a baby shower/going away party at my job and the 30th birthday/going away party my mom was planning, we had a wake and a funeral. I was devastated, and in a moment of desperate grief, I cried to my husband, “Who’s going to take care of me now?”

It wasn’t until many years later, after the birth of my daughters, when I was reflecting on what being a mother means to me and what I want to give to my children, that I realized what my father had given me. I was bowled over with the power of the realization — my father gave me the greatest gift a person can give —  unconditional love. He had no expectations of me giving him the perfect gift, or showing my love by spending enough money. He didn’t care if I was the smartest or was the most athletic or the most musical.

He didn’t care if I kept my room clean. All he needed to be happy and at peace was to know that his beloved wife, his children and their spouses and his grandchildren were safe and happy. I aspire to give my husband and children the same gift of unconditional love.

By the way, yesterday my husband and I closed on the purchase of my — and my father’s — childhood home … another milestone recorded in the book of Junes.

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By Matthew Kearns, DVM

I recently authored a two-part series entitled “A Long (and Fat) Winter’s Night,” with ideas on the management of the obese patient. However, if your pet is not obese but the long winter has affected them, what do we do? Stiff, creaky joints may make it difficult for him or her to rise. Just doesn’t seem to be able to finish those long walks (or even have the willingness to take them).  These are difficult to see in our aging babies but are also something that can be addressed. Physical therapy along with low-impact exercise can be helpful in not only improving our pet’s mobility and stamina but also has a positive effect on their sense of well-being.

Before I discuss physical therapy and low-impact exercise specifically, I would recommend that all pet owners visit their veterinarian’s office to rule out possible underlying or concurrent disease. This may be something that you already do during an annual wellness exam. However, if you’ve missed a few years, please do make an appointment to have your four-legged family member examined and consider some basic diagnostics (if warranted) such as blood work, X-rays, etc. If all is well, then let’s get started.

The one good thing about physical therapy (unlike missing a dose of medication) is every little bit helps. If you can perform certain exercises and therapies only once daily instead or more often, remember every little bit helps.

Heat Therapy and Massage: It has been shown that heat therapy causes vasodilation and improves circulation to tissues. This increases tissue oxygenation and transportation of metabolites. It has been proven that five to 10 minutes of heat before physical therapy and exercise can reduce joint stiffness and increase range of motion. Make sure to use a blanket or towel as an insulating layer between your pet’s skin to prevent burns. After heat therapy, gentle massage therapy manipulates muscles and tissues around joints to reduce pain, stiffness, muscle knots/spasms, increase blood flow and promote relaxation.

Range of Motion and Stretching Exercises: This type of exercise helps improve joint motion and flexibility in patients. Simple flexion and extension exercises are excellent. Find a part of the house where your pet will feel most relaxed and least likely to try to get up and move around. Manipulate each affected joint only as far as your pet will tolerate initially but hold for 15 to 30 seconds at full flexion and again at full extension. Repeat the process for three to five repetitions.

Low-Impact Exercise: The most accessible (and most commonly used) low-impact exercise is controlled leash walks.Controlled leash walks (slowly at first) will help to achieve the most normal gait possible. Slow walks increase flexibility, strength and weight bearing. After slow walks have been mastered, then we can increase the pace, incorporate gentle inclines or different surfaces (e.g., sand) to further develop endurance, strength, balance and coordination.

Swimming: Swimming is somewhat controversial in veterinary medicine. Some believe swimming (because of the non-weight-bearing component) is the ideal at-home exercise for older patients. Others believe the movements are too “herky-jerkey” and could lead to hyperextension of already arthritic joints. First, access to a pool that has stairs that the pet can walk in and out of is important (this eliminates swimming in the ocean or above-ground pools). Make sure active swimming only continues for five minutes before taking a break. It would also be a good idea to purchase a pet-specific life jacket to ensure that if your pet does tire there is no risk of drowning.

There are other physical therapy modalities such as therapeutic ultrasound, therapeutic laser, transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS), underwater treadmills, etc. Unfortunately, these modalities are neither readily available nor inexpensive so I thought I would concentrate on therapies one could do at home. If interested in more advanced therapies, make an appointment with your veterinarian to discuss them.

Dr. Kearns has been in practice for 19 years.

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Owner Bob Willemstyn in front of the grand fireplace at the Country House in Stony Brook, circa 1712. Photo by Alex Petroski

Culper Spy Day is approaching quickly and the buzz is starting to build. The Three Village area will be celebrating its storied connection to the Revolutionary War and the Culper Spy Ring on Saturday, June 20.

The Country House Restaurant on North Country Road in Stony Brook will be participating in the festivities, offering a spy-themed menu for the occasion. The restaurant’s owner and Stony Brook resident Bob Willemstyn said he is excited to be a part of the historic day.

“It’s really nice to see the cohesiveness of the community coming together,” Willemstyn said. He has owned the restaurant since 2005. Before that, Willemstyn worked at the restaurant for 27 years.

Built in 1710, the house has served many purposes over those 300-plus years. Willemstyn said that every character from the popular television show TURN on AMC, which depicts the actions and inner workings of the Culper Spy Ring in Setauket, physically set foot in the Country House Restaurant around the time of the Revolutionary War. Everyone except for George Washington, Willemstyn admits.

The menu for June 20 features dishes with Culper Spy Day-related names. Yankee Doodle Chicken Fingers & French Fries, Secret Spy Ring Cheese Ravioli and George Washington’s Flatbread Cheese Pizza will surely be favorites on the kid’s menu. Members of the Culper Spy Ring are paid homage on the adult menu with items like the Anna & Selah Strong Twin Maryland Crab Cakes, Mary Woodhull Chilled Poached Salmon Fillet over Greens and the Caleb Brewster Cavatelli Pasta & Braised Beef Short Rib Ragu.

There will be some extra-added fun with the kid’s menu, Willemstyn said. There is a secret code within the menu that if cracked will earn the sharp, young revolutionary a free dessert.

“We hope to draw some people into the village with this menu,” Willemstyn said. The Country House Restaurant is not quite within walking distance from some of the other Culper Spy Day festivities, but it is the only place that will boast a spy-themed menu and more than 300 years of history and tradition.

Willemstyn said he plans to decorate the restaurant with an American flag bunting to draw in other revolutionaries enjoying the special day. He also recommended that anyone interested in dining at the Country House Restaurant on Culper Spy Day should make a reservation in advance because space is limited. The commemorative menu will be available from noon until 4 p.m.

The Country House is located at 1175 North Country Rd., Stony Brook. For reservations, please call 631-751-3332. For more information, visit www.countryhouserestaurant.com.

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By Bob Lipinski

When I remember Father’s Day, visions of barbecuing steaks, hamburgers, sausages and hot dogs over “real charcoal,” bottles of beer, platters of cold macaroni and potato salad, and of course, slices of sour dill pickles come to mind. Well, this Father’s Day I’m barbecuing, with a gas grill, shell steaks with a dry rub, Caesar salad, baked potatoes, a bottle (or two) of cabernet sauvignon, and of course, a pickle!

I like cabernet sauvignon, as do many people, because of its bouquet, body, flavor, and adaptability to most rich, full-bodied foods. Let’s spend some time exploring this globally, universally accepted red grape variety.

Cabernet sauvignon is a thick-skinned, red grape variety acknowledged worldwide as producing some of the finest dry red wines and is often referred to as the noblest of all red grape varieties. In France, it is grown principally in the Bordeaux region, although planted in other regions as well.

In 1997, Carole Meredith, a professor of enology and viticulture at the University of California at Davis, revealed cabernet sauvignon’s parentage through DNA testing. She stated that it is “150 trillion times” more likely that cabernet franc and sauvignon blanc– rather than any other varieties– were responsible for the cross-pollination leading to cabernet sauvignon’s appearance in the late seventeenth century. Cabernet sauvignon berries are quite small, with a high ration of pits and skin to pulp. By the way, around 1860, Almaden Vineyards produced California’s first commercial cabernet sauvignon wine.

Cabernet sauvignon covers a wide spectrum of aromas and flavors—asparagus, bell pepper, berries (blackberry, blueberry, cranberry, raspberry), black or green olives, black cherry, black currants, black tea, celery, chocolate, dill, licorice, mint, plum, soy, and various herbs can be detected. Some of the aromas and flavors from oak barrels are cedar, coffee, leather, sandalwood, smoke, and vanilla.

While we’re talking about cabernet and barbecuing, you can’t go wrong with a juicy New York strip or T-bone steak. Don’t forget other delights, such as grilled vegetables, portobello mushrooms with balsamic vinegar, tuna soaked in a teriyaki marinade, rack of lamb with mint chutney, veal chops smothered in rosemary, or a pizza cooked right on the grill!

Be creative this Father’s Day and serve a wedge of room temperature cheese on the plate right next to the steaks or other grilled foods. Which cheese do you ask? Let’s see…one goat (Saint-Maure, France), one cow (Monterey Jack, California), and one sheep (Feta, Greece) milk cheese.

These recommended cabernet sauvignon wines from California are available at most wine shops:
Clos Du Val, Napa
Ridge Vineyards, Santa Cruz
Hanging Vine, Central Valley
Amapola Creek, Sonoma
Gundlach-Bundschu, Sonoma
Heller Estates, Carmel Valley
Chappellet Vineyards, Napa
Black Stallion, Napa
Noble Vines 337, Lodi
HandCraft, California
Geyser Peak “Alexander Valley,” Sonoma
Artesa Winery, Napa

Bob Lipinski, a local author, has written eight books, including “Italian Wine Notes” and “Italian Wine & Cheese Made Simple” (available on Amazon.com). He conducts training seminars on wine & cheese; sales, time management, and leadership. He can be reached at boblipinski.com or at [email protected].

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Dogwood is native to Long Island and is adapted to our climate. Photo by Ellen Barcel

By Ellen Barcel

In last week’s gardening column, we looked at the frequently erratic amounts of water that Mother Nature provides to Long Island gardeners. This has been a dry spring, for example, with moderate drought conditions being reported for April and most of May. How do we deal with this?

One of the answers is by planting trees, shrubs, etc. that are native to Long Island. This way, they are plants that are already adapted to the almost pendulum-like swings between torrential rain and near drought conditions.

Native plants have other benefits, besides the amount of water they need. They are adapted in other ways, too. For example, they survive the winter cold and summer heat better than some introduced plants. Native plants need little or no fertilization. They are noninvasive (not like the English ivy, which if given an inch will take a mile).

Native trees have generally reached a balance with insect pests native to the area. You’ll notice that the insects that have caused recent problems in local trees (Asian longhorn beetle and southern pine beetle) are not from our area.

Trees
Trees that do particularly well on Long Island, and are actually native to the area, include pine and oak. Oak has a taproot, which goes deeply into the soil. This is a benefit in times of little or no rain because it’s the top layer of soil that dries out. Deep down, there’s water in the soil and the taproots reach deeply into those wet layers. The USDA Forest Service notes that pine has a vestige of a taproot and three to five other major roots that go outward and then deep into the soil. Native dogwood is another one that does well here.

Shrubs
Shrubs native to the area include northern bayberry (Morella pensylvanica), bear oak (Quercus ilicifolia) and blueberry. Blueberry in particular does well on Long Island because it prefers a soil with an acidity somewhere in the neighborhood of 4.0 to 5.0, very acidic. And, fortunately, Long Island soil can be as acidic as that. Blueberries come in a variety of heights and bloom times so they make a beautiful living hedge and can provide fruit for over a six-week period.
Note that wineberries, which grow so easily here, are not native but have been introduced and are very invasive. They are on Suffolk County’s Do Not Sell list because of their invasive nature. Another introduced, and invasive, shrub is the multifora rose. Again, banned and definitely invasive.

Flowers
Annual, biennial and perennial plants that are native to Long Island include aster (purple flowers in autumn), butterfly weed (Asclepias tuberosa, with its vibrant orange flowers in summer), clover and Eastern prickly pear cactus (bright yellow flowers with orange centers, also in summer). So, yes, you can have a beautiful flower garden with just native plants.
While native plants are ideal, there are also some nonnative plants that have similar characteristics. Look for plants that are drought tolerant, noninvasive and do well in USDA hardiness zone 7 or above (my preference is for 6 or above, just in case we have abnormally cold winters).
For detailed information on native plants, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden publishes “A Native Plants Reader” and “Great Natives for Tough Places.” “Native Alternatives to Invasive Plants” by C. Colston Burrewll, handbook 185, may be available as used copies. Go to www.bbg.org for details. See also the website of the Long Island Native Plant Initiative at www.linpi.org.

Ellen Barcel is a freelance writer and master gardener. To reach Cornell Cooperative Extension and its Master Gardener program, call 631-727-7850.

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Flowering quince, once established, is somewhat drought tolerant and has lovely red flowers in the spring. By planting drought-tolerant plants, you’re less likely to have to spend your time irrigating your garden. Photo by Ellen Barcel

By Ellen Barcel

The last two years have been interesting weatherwise on Long Island. The Old Farmer’s Almanac, which predicted a cold and snowy winter for 2013-14, and yes it was, also predicted a hot and rainy summer. As far as the hot part is concerned, it was one of the coolest summers in many years. So much for the hot part!

The wet part, well that’s a different story, kind of. Through early August we were below average. The average rain at Brookhaven National Lab in Upton for June, July, August and September hovered around four inches each of those months — a little above, a little below. June’s actual rainfall was just a little over two inches and July’s was about two and a half — definitely below average. Last fall and early winter, however, gave us plenty of rain. Last winter (2014-15) was incredibly cold and snowy. While the meteorologists didn’t talk “polar vortex” as they had the winter before, the almanac did predict a very cold winter, and yes, it was. But spring, so far has been relatively cool and dry.

Because rainfall on Long Island can vary so much from not only year to year but week to week, gardeners needed to keep an eye on it so that their gardens thrive. On average, it rains once every three or four days, but we can go for weeks in the summer with little or no rain or have it rain every day for a solid week or more.

Place a rain gauge strategically in your garden so you can see how much rain you’re getting each week and adjust your irrigation schedule accordingly. Above, the gauge shows that approximately four inches of rain/irrigation were received at that spot in the garden in just a few days. Photo by Ellen Barcel
Place a rain gauge strategically in your garden so you can see how much rain you’re getting each week and adjust your irrigation schedule accordingly. Above, the gauge shows that approximately four inches of rain/irrigation were received at that spot in the garden in just a few days. Photo by Ellen Barcel

Not only does rainfall vary timewise but geographically as well. August 13’s, 2014, record 13 plus inches of rain in southwestern Suffolk County (the Islip area in particular) flooded roads that tied up traffic, but the North and South forks got less than an inch of rain from that storm. So eastern Suffolk gardeners were watering their plants while western and central Suffolk gardeners were pumping out flooded basements.

So, place a rain gauge in your garden where it can accurately measure how much rain your garden has received. Make sure that the gauge is not under bushes, for example, which can cover the gauge’s opening. Check your gauge periodically. You can then adjust your added watering accordingly.

Most of us have very sandy soil. We need to be particularly concerned with weeks and weeks of no or little rain during the summer. We need to supplement what Mother Nature provides, particularly with plants such as tomatoes or hydrangeas, both of which need a steady supply of water. Tomato plants that dry out can result in blossom end rot. Grass should receive about an inch a week. Remember that since most of us have very sandy soil, even torrential rain, say two or more inches at once, drains quickly into the soil, and a few days later you may need to water. Also, containers dry out more quickly than plants in the ground.

Some of us have clay soil or live in an area where the water table is very high. For those gardeners, it’s not a question of getting enough rain; it can be controlling too much water or finding plants that do well in very wet soil.

If you have an area where lots of water drains into the soil, say from your roof top, you might want to consider a rain garden. This basically consists of a depressed area, frequently with a berm around it, which acts like a recharge basis (a sump) for the island’s water table. If you have an area where water virtually never drains, you might consider a bog garden. Plants that  enjoy “wet feet” do well here.

Using native plants is an option and will make it easier for the gardener. Native plants are adapted to Long Island’s periods of rain and drought and need little tending.

More on native plants, rain gardens and bog gardens in future weeks.

Ellen Barcel is a freelance writer and master gardener. To reach Cornell Cooperative Extension and its Master Gardener program, call 631-727-7850.

Cedar Beach file photo

By Madeleine Emilia Borg

I have a very hard time saying goodbye. It becomes particularly apparent when something that has been there your whole life as a constant reminder that things are as they should be, suddenly one day is snatched away from you. Somewhere I have known that it can’t always go on this way. That this will also have to come to an end. Still, once it occurs, it is no less devastating.

It’s truly amazing to have had a place to return during the summertime. Loving arms that have welcomed me and a bed to sleep in, its worn lace spread getting thrown off every single night because of the nearly unbearable heat. And as soon as I had the light on, all the bugs ended up in the book I was reading. Almost always that book was borrowed from the Port Jefferson Free Library. Despite the various little critters, I would never trade those nights and days for anything in the world.

The Beach House, hidden away in Miller Place, Long Island and the people I’ve shared my experiences with there own a piece of my heart. With its typical northeastern faded gray shingles, the black roof one can crawl onto out of almost every room upstairs and the dreamy view all the way to Connecticut, where the fire works during Fourth of July light up the horizon as if it is burning. And for the first time in my life I won’t be able to visit it again. Because sometimes even old houses at New York’s end that have served as second homes must be emptied of all memories and sold to another family who can harvest the same pleasures and joys from it as much as its past cherishing owners.

The winding gravel path up from the road where the trash cabinet stands, its carved out blue whales on both doors and the sign in the tree with the black painted letters “Henry’s Place”, indicating that a home lurks beyond all the overgrown lush greenery.

The barefoot schlepp from the splintery board walk bridge up the steep slope, when the soles of our feet are numb after stepping around on tiny rocks laid scattered all over the dazzling white beach, but which we’ve always called pebbles and therefore they feel somewhat kinder than ordinary stone.

The outdoor shower that stills smells so much of cedar wood and security although it is over 23 years old. When I let the tepid water sprinkle down over my sun flushed shoulders it doesn’t hurt even a bit.

Below the hill where the magnificent deer family usually observes us through the screen window in the kitchen as we prepare for dinner making a salad. Slicing satiny tomatoes, chopping onions and carving out avocados that we’ve carefully selected at Jimmy’s down the road. He always sneaks butterscotch and sour watermelon lollipops into the grocery bags.

Having trouble falling asleep and the feeling of time standing completely still, while impatiently awaiting the next morning when I’ll hear the much anticipated sound of car doors opening and the rest of my favorite people. Uncles and aunts and cousins I call siblings will come up the driveway with smiles bigger than their faces. We’ll be racing down the stairs, the aching stir pounding under my rib cage.

Freshly caught seven-dollar lobsters from the little fish store that Nana brings in brown paper bags, the ones we dip into melted butter for our own version of a Swedish crayfish party. My cousins and I squeal from the carpet stairs in enchantment mingled with terror as we sit and watch how she puts them in the big black boiling pot, one by one. Afterwards my brother throws the remains to the seagulls after we gingerly go down to the water and rinse off. He really should get into baseball, someone says and we stop and grill marshmallows until we need to find our way back with a flashlight.

When my younger cousin and I as eight- and 10-year-olds invade our grandparent’s closets, smear on all the makeup we can find, attach the loose fitting garments with sparkly hair clips and wobble down the long stairs in way too high heels, feeling them slightly chafe but it doesn’t really matter because we hear everyone clapping and cheering us on from below.

Thirty-one years ago, my family purchased a beach home in Miller Place. It became a haven and gathering place for three generations of families and friends. It was a place of endless parties, a place for recuperation and healing. Located on four acres of land plus beachfront property, with unobstructed views of the Long Island Sound, it was truly a place of sanctuary back in the day, when Miller Place was full of sod fields, not strip malls and homes … but people get old, families and friends drift apart and life takes us all on different paths. Very sad to have given it up … but sometimes letting go breathes new life into all. My 21-year-old niece, Madeleine, who grew up in Sweden, spent the last 18 summers at the beach house with us. These are her memories. — Paul Singman

Early, calm crossword puzzle breakfasts with Poppy on the porch when the air is still clean and pure, only a few motor boat’s distant soothing hum. I make a sesame bagel with salmon and cream cheese, he opts for a bowl of cereal. And so we sit and listen to exactly nothing and just enjoy each other’s presence.

The few bright blue hydrangea bushes that survived the fire we never mention, where I pass the house next door and the contrasting reality looming between the bamboo shoots. Nana planted new ones adjacent to the facade later on, which quickly morphed into something jungle-like. It just grows bigger every year.

The attic holding Mom’s poufy wedding dress, a sandbox shaped like a giant turtle, my great uncle’s trumpet played in grand symphony orchestras, black and white photographs neatly tucked into worn heavy albums with burgundy spines and travel diaries from the sixties.

The huge and frayed weather polished log which fits my little brother and I perfectly in our daily occupations of playing shop and bakery, or reclining on each of its curved sides while trying not to spill our Animal Crackers and cheese sticks in the sand. Nana comes over sometimes to buy a lemon meringue pie and some rolls, or she’s looking for a new gown she can wear to the imaginary ball that very evening. We always have something just right to offer.

During an unusually dramatic and moist storm, the outdoor furniture with blue and white striped cushions blowing off along the corner of the house, lightning strikes down the chimney and dances for a few seconds over the glossy parquet living room floor.

Lazy evenings after a shower when my mother wraps me in a fluffy bathrobe and I clamber up on Nana’s unusually high raised bed. Stacked over bricks overlooking the complete paradise we find ourselves in, we start reading in the mellow comfort of each other’s camaraderie. My best friend. Earlier I left a note that ceremoniously invited her to this particular activity and would like it to continue forever.

The squirrel that gets in through a broken screen at the height of a pine tree, running across the fireplace, leaving adorable sooty paw prints in the sink and in the light purple bathtub which always tends to be filled with foam of lavender and violets, fittingly enough.

The dusty ceiling fan I stand straight beneath, closing my eyes just to breathe in the familiar salt breeze and coconut scent of Coppertone sunscreen which we continue to use even though all of us have grown up, even the smallest ones.

The back den with its sugary wood scent and photo collage of everyone of us from all times and places spread across the entire wall, Every time I look I see something new.

Short adventure walks that turn into running after we discover a vacant diving dock and quickly swim over only to throw oursleves in and scramble back up for hours at a time.

The wine bottle we manage to steal from the liquor cabinet and share with some we’d met the other day at McNulty’s ice cream parlor. Now sitting out among the dunes at the rotunda where we keep the umbrellas and swimming noodles I talk fervently to everyone except the person who’s mouth I’d like to graze with my own but I never dare to.

The bursting cotton candy sky, never ceasing to stun its audience, soon shifting into thick endless navy sprinkled with glowing dots. I look up at them from a swing in the sprawling storybook tree protecting a spot of the otherwise yellowed, prickly lawn. Crickets whose melodies slowly fill the night among the fireflies that we vainly try to capture in glass jars with holes in them.

The grand, annual birthday party in the middle of July that seems to get more stifling the older I get. Guests pouring in from all over the country, people I barely know but like already kiss both my cheeks and take my hand in theirs. Roaring laughter and animated gestures in a flurry of pastel cake frosting and white linen and without much blood involved, we’re still the world’s biggest family and I love each and every one of them.

And finally. The initial, delicious chills finding their way along my spine as I try not to slip getting into that remarkable ocean. All kinds of colors, textures and creatures emerge from underneath as quickly as they vanish and I’ll always be a mermaid here. Inching further in, I hear someone count to three and suddenly I’m completely underneath even though I’d demonstratively spun my hair up in a bun earlier to catch as many freckles as possible. I guess this is what heaven feels like. As I loosen the elastic from my head, I let myself float up slowly, opening my eyes to the glittering murky light and greeting a sun burning my forehead in a way that is only divine.

Goodbye beautiful house, you will be dearly missed.

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Azaleas, above, as well as rhododendron do well in acidic soil. That means that most Long Island gardeners, who usually have very acidic soil, don’t have to spend time liming the soil. Photo by Ellen Barcel

By Ellen Barcel

Are you planning to renew your landscaping, put in new plants, or take out some old ones? As a gardener you need to know about plants, but you also need to consider your lifestyle and how much time and energy you’re willing to put in to achieve the effect you desire.

Do all the adults in the house work full-time jobs, some even with overtime? Do you frequently take trips during the warm weather? Are you away from your home on vacations? Do you spend lots of time at the beach? If so, you probably want to enjoy your garden when you’re home and not spend time working in it. If, on the other hand, you’re newly retired and just love getting out in the dirt, then gardening is not work — it’s a joy. Now, some things to consider.

A lawn needs to be mowed once a week to 10 days. An acquaintance of mine, many years ago, had two acres of property, almost all of it with a lush lawn. On more than one occasion I heard complaints about how much time he had to spend every weekend mowing his lawn. One alternative for him would have been to hire a service to do this weekly chore. Some people go this route, but it does cost more than putting a gallon of gas in your mower. In fact, if you have a service, you don’t even need to own and maintain a mower.

The best alternative, however, and definitely my preference if I had two acres of lawn, would be to cut back drastically on how much lawn I actually had. Plant trees and shrubs that need minimal maintenance. It’s better for the environment and better for wildlife, which will soon make your garden their home. And you will spend a lot less time mowing.

Another area to consider when deciding how much time you want to spend working in the garden is plants that are prone to diseases and insects. Roses, for example, are gorgeous but notorious for their problems with aphids as well as black spot and powdery mildew. If you absolutely adore roses and have the time, sure, plant them, knowing that you’ll need to spray for insects and diseases periodically. Look for disease-resistant varieties. Another consideration with roses is their thorns. This is a special problem if you have children or grandchildren who will be running around the yard and possibly tripping into them.

A third consideration is pruning. If you select lots of plants that are quick growing and need lots of pruning, then you’re going to use up your weekends with the sheers in your hands. This is especially true if you have topiary, which must be carefully and artistically pruned periodically to maintain the look you want.

Then there’s watering. If you have the average Long Island garden, you have one that periodically needs watering. If you go away a lot during the mild weather, what happens to your garden? Do you ignore it, only to come home to a disaster? Pay someone to come periodically and take care of it? Install an irrigation system? Remember, container plants dry out more quickly than plants in the ground and need more supplemental watering. Or do you plant only native plants, which need minimal maintenance and supplemental water.

If you don’t want to spend time adding lime to the soil (sweetening or raising the pH), use only plants that thrive in acidic soil such as rhodies, azaleas, blueberries etc.

There’s no right answer for everyone. But, you do need to look at your own time and energy level and decide which works best for you. If you love to be out in the garden, enjoy the sun on your face, get your hands dirty and love to see those little green sprouts grow and thrive, fine. If because of finances, time or energy you can’t spend that much time working in the garden, then simplify by putting in native plants, which need minimal maintenance, and spend your time enjoying your garden.

Ellen Barcel is a freelance writer and master gardener. To reach Cornell Cooperative Extension and its Master Gardener program, call 631-727-7850.

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By Fr. Francis Pizzarelli

May and June are the months of the year when we celebrate our mothers, our fathers and our graduates. It is a time of year to pause in the midst of all the chaos, despite a world filled with hate and discrimination.

So often I have filled this space with stories of those who have been suffering. These stories have challenged me to stay the course, helping others for over 30 years to reclaim their lives.

It is no secret that our county is being ravaged by the reckless use of heroin. What is equally frustrating is the growing denial among so many people about the seriousness of this epidemic health crisis.  Every quarter of our community is showing resistance, from the government, to our schools and most painfully from our parents.

How many young adults have to lose their lives before people stand up and shout “no more!” Are you willing to commit yourself to positive action, even if it makes you uncomfortable? Every parent’s nightmare is burying a child. To lose a child because of reckless decision making and behavior is even more tragic.

There are not enough easily accessible beds for those who seek long-term treatment. Opiate addiction cannot be effectively treated with a 28-day model. Too many insurance companies will only pay for residential care, if one fails at outpatient treatment. If one knows anything about opiate addiction, one knows that approach is a sure death sentence.

In our own community, too many have lost their lives while doing outpatient treatment. The few residential programs that are accessible in our community are short-term at best — and that is if insurance will cover it. Too many health care plans will only pay for five or six days — maybe 12 days max! How do you focus on recovery if you think you might be homeless in a few days  — starting all over again?

Despite these horror stories, people are getting better, entering recovery and learning how to live productive lives.

A story of hope:

TJ is a young man who was born into privilege. His parents are well educated and successful, materially speaking. While he was in high school, he developed a serious opiate addiction and was able to effectively hide it from his parents and his teachers. He was out of control and almost died on numerous occasions.

TJ is a smart, articulate, engaging and talented young man. When he was confronted about his addiction and his out-of-control behavior, he denied he had a problem and refused any kind of treatment. Only when he was in the bowels of dysfunction and depression did he finally agree to treatment. He agreed to long-term treatment and signed a contract for a year to 18 months.

It was not an easy road for TJ, but today he has four years of healthy recovery.He recently graduated from a local liberal arts college and will begin Fordham University’s Graduate School of Social Service, pursing a master’s degree in clinical social work so he can help others not walk the road that almost cost him his life.

He will be the first to admit that he is where he is today because his parents stopped enabling and rescuing him. Instead, they empowered him to reclaim his life and walk the road less traveled and live!

Fr. Pizzarelli is the director of Hope House Ministries in Port Jefferson.